Phil and Shirley rake over their past in an epic showdown, while Ian begins to unravel as Ben's admission sinks in. Derek organises a party to introduce Alice to the Brannings.
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Don't you think you've had enough?
Anyway, we're going to Grant's, remember?
This time I booked the cab.
-No, he ain't coming.
There's no point.
-He can't be trusted.
-Jay'd never say anything!
He'll break. He's just a kid. A good kid.
We are staying.
All right? Cos if it ain't Jay that breaks, it'll be you.
Or me. It's a matter of time.
Nine missed calls from Ben?
I know there's more to this Phil stuff than you're telling me.
Toast, you two?
If you haven't started your revision,
you can take Oscar to nursery for me, please.
Give me a chance!
Morning. All right, Cora.
Lovely to see you, must be, what, 12 hours since I saw you last.
Will you get that, please, Abs?
One more piece, please.
You been crying?
Join the club. Here. This'll knock it for six.
I need a favour.
You going out?
Morning, Mandy. How are you today?
Any thoughts on the Middle East?
-Where you going?
-Food, Ian. All right?
Have fun, yeah.
You'll hear the screams of laughter from here.
Thought you had something to ask your brother.
Would you get the door for me, please, darling?
-Go on, Abs. Please.
That'll be your Uncle Jack, I've asked him to pop round.
You paying the rent on this place now? I thought this was our house.
I got something to tell you all.
Urgh, you stink!
I'm sorry about that but I weren't allowed to have a shower.
Look at this, eh?
All the family. Together.
Round the table, toast...
I was wondering, how about extending that warmth to my Alice?
-I'm not with you.
She's my daughter.
Hang on. Does this one really actually exist?
Yes, Jack. She does. And she always has.
You kept her quiet.
So this is your daughter with Joey's mum?
Yeah, with Joey's mum. You know what she can be like.
Well, anyway...anyway, Alice is an adult now and recently we've...
-well, we've regained contact.
-You must be well pleased.
-Bet she ain't.
So I was wondering... I was hoping...
that we might have a little get-together? You know, eh?
Few sandwiches, nibbles. Dot'd love it, wouldn't she?
And we could have it here, you know? She could get to meet her cousins...
Because they're her cousins.
No, I mean why have it here?
He's trying to get to know his daughter.
-Why don't you have it at yours?
You'll have to. I got enough on my hands without a party.
-Abs, get that, please.
What am I, a professional door answerer?
So, right, you won't countenance a little tea party for Alice,
but you'll have a randy teenager sleeping feet away
from your underage daughter?
What you talking about? He knows the score, don't you, Jay?
Well, whatever goes on in this house, I'm in control of.
-This party. It's fine, mate.
-Least I can do.
Least YOU can do?!
-Shouldn't you be in Portugal anyway?
-Just let me talk to him, will ya?
Your dad was like an animal the other day.
Yeah, well, now he's like a drunken animal.
Tell Jay that Dad's slaughtered, talking all sorts of mad stuff.
Well, Jay's definitely staying here, then!
-Why can't you just keep out of it?
-Because I'm his girlfriend.
And I will find out what's happened, cos Jay tells me everything.
You don't know nothing.
Yeah, well, I do know about alcohol.
When Lauren's drunk, she's the vilest person ever.
Screaming, calling us disgusting names.
Then the next day, it's like, "That was the drink talking."
But my mum says alcohol makes even the best liars tell the truth.
How about a nice toasted teacake dripping in salty butter?
Don't want to start packing a paunch, do we, Stingray?
Just the two for me, thanks, Jean.
Morgan used to love teacakes.
He picks out the raisin and pretends they're dead flies.
Oi oi! How's the fittest chef since that Gino Dicampy?
Jean. I'm fine.
-Yeah! But you've still got, er...um...
You can't swap one for the other, like chips for mashed potatoes.
Well, we should do something later, take your mind off him.
Like a bike ride? Or, um, art gallery?
You in an art gallery? Pff! You on a bike for that matter.
I said I might meet one of my old army mates later.
Why d'you want to hang out with a load of old squaddies
talking about the Falklands and... tanks and...bombs?
Cos they were the best days of my life.
Who does that man think he is?
Coming in this house, dictating what goes on?
It might actually be interesting meeting his long-lost daughter.
-Wonder what she looks like.
-Pitbull with a ponytail?
I dunno why you're so screwed about this party.
What could be more hilarious than watching Derek
getting all the cupcakes out and claiming to be dad of the year?
-Just sit back and watch him make a clown of himself.
You are evil.
But I like it. All right then.
Let's do it, shall we? We'll need a cake.
Have to ask Dot if she minds. And balloons maybe.
I'll get you a nice bacon roll, Dad, soak some of this up?
Good little Ben.
What would they say? If they knew...
What would she say? If Shirley knew...
Thought only celebrities had stalkers.
Oh. I didn't want to ring you at work,
in case I got you in trouble,
and, besides, you haven't given me your number, have you?
I just wanted to check that you're still all right for later?
My brother, that's your Uncle Max, and his missus,
they're going to have a little do at theirs.
It's all right, Alice. You couldn't meet a friendlier bunch.
You're going to love 'em.
I'm looking forward to it.
That's wonderful! Yeah?
Right. Oh, you're going to need the...
I've put it here somewhere... the address.
It's just over in Albert Square.
Thanks. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Cos I wouldn't want your mother to think I've half-killed you
on our first get-together.
That's a little joke.
Why don't you come with me? The fresh air might help.
I'm allergic to trees, ain't I?
Is this because you're hiding from Phil? Ben was here earlier.
-What'd he want?
-For you to go home.
-What about Portugal?
-They're not going now.
He just said his dad's drunk and acting crazy
and that he wanted to speak to you.
Don't worry, I told him you were staying here.
You know, we can get through anything
as long as we're honest with each other.
You're safe here, Jay.
All right, it's only me.
I'm glad Abi's left you on your own for five minutes, though,
to be honest.
Oh, good. I'll go back to work if you're here.
I ain't come to butter bread.
Didn't get many GCSEs, did you?
Look, Max, if this is about Abi,
I really want her to do well in her exams.
That's really good, cos so do I.
I'm just a bit worried, Jay.
Just Abi don't want to put her head in a book
when she's got you distracting her, does she?
With your fascinating chit chat about monkey wrenches
and who's beating who on the X-box.
I would never disrespect your rules. I just can't go home.
Listen, I've been thinking.
Why don't we ask Dot if you can go and stay there for a while?
Yeah. To be honest, mate, she could do with the company.
Jay, she's all over the place. Losing Heather, it's hit her hard.
Thanks, but, you know, I've got a mate I can stay with,
so I'll just call him.
Lovely. All right. There's no rush.
What shall we say, end of the week, yeah? Good lad.
Benjamin! Now, you're a young man of the world.
That is to say, you've seen things I never will.
Tell me what you think of this?
-I'm in a bit of a rush.
Would this have anything to do with your old man,
this rush that you're in?
Only my brother Max tells me that he was round his place the other day,
creating merry hell.
Got you well trained, ain't he? When in doubt, keep shtoom.
But you see, Benjamin,
it's only when people start blabbing that all hell breaks loose.
You haven't told me what you think of me dip!
I thought you was supposed to be in Portugal.
Yeah, well, change of plans. Two bacon rolls, please.
Does that a lot, Phil. Changes his mind.
How did you used to stop him drinking?
Ain't that a surprise?
An illness, ain't it? Addiction.
He's the illness.
Today's the first day I got up and didn't wish I was dead an' all.
In fact, it's the first day in ages I've bothered getting up and out
because I realised that your dad was 100 miles away.
Now I know he's not, I wish I was dead again.
He'll be fine. You both will.
Got each other, haven't you?
Oh, Cora, I got some lovely bits down at the market.
How's it been going?
Oh, look at that!
Oh, you two, you're heaven sent, you really are!
-And you, come here, come here.
-Here, tell me what think of this? Look.
-What is it?
-Hummus? What's that?
-Mashed up chick peas.
Gone back to work.
These modern women, eh, Dorothy?
Has Alice not got a job?
Well, she hasn't got an husband and kids.
Far as you know.
What you laughing at? You shouldn't even be here. Go on, scarper.
Before my girl gets here.
Yeah, all right. I'm going.
-Oh! The booze.
I was supposed to get the booze. What do young girls drink today?
If they're like my Lauren,
anything from cod liver oil to bathwater.
Yeah, well, my Alice ain't like that.
What? It's only a little bit.
No, I don't think so.
It's a shop, ain't it?
I've got money.
Just give me the drink, you stupid woman! Give me it.
Oh, no, no, no, you don't!
You take your money and you buy some manners, all right!
Now go on. Go.
I said go!
Phil, you all right?
Phil, take it easy, yeah.
I said this would happen, didn't I?
Couple weeks without me propping you up and here you are,
crawling in the gutter, looking for your next bottle of Scotch.
I've gotta show you something. Come here.
I've got a verruca.
-Don't you think that's disgusting?
-I think you're drunk.
I didn't want to tell you, Abs...
..but you said we have to be honest with each other.
Have you got any secrets?
My boyfriend's got a verruca.
I've got secrets.
Well, if they're all like that one, you can keep 'em to yourself.
How are you?
Thought you were going food shopping.
I'm going to do it online.
I got to the supermarket, and there was a brat,
screaming for milkshake so I just walked right on by...
I checked the cupboards. I didn't think we needed any food.
Ian, you wild man, it's like living with Frankie Cocozza.
So where you been?
I just walked straight past the supermarket and into the precinct.
You don't normally come back from there without any bags.
Spent all this time shopping for earrings?
I know where you've been. You've been with Phil. Phil Mitchell.
D'you know what, Ian? I'll come back when the comedy act's over.
Course I don't mind, sweetheart, as long as it puts a smile on his face.
He's going to be smiling all over. Look at this. Look, look, look.
-Now, you definitely heard him cancel this army dude
-and he's coming round to mine, yeah?
-Yes, darling! Yes, yes.
-And, Jeanie, you don't mind covering?
-I said yes, didn't I?
How you're going to cheer Ray up, I can't imagine.
Give me half an hour.
HAMMERING ON DOOR
Lock me in, would you? Eh? Lock me in like a little boy?
No, no, I was only trying to help.
Bit late for that, innit? Eh?
Give me the keys.
Give me the keys now!
If you carry on like this, if you keep on drinking,
it's going to come out. Is that what you want?
Maybe I should tell Shirley.
Maybe she needs to know.
-It's destroying her, thinking that someone's out there
and they got away with it.
Someone's out there laughing while Heather's...
Dad, it's not your fault.
You know what?
You might've have killed Heather, but I covered up for you, didn't I?
I'm the one that lied.
I lied to Shirley, I'm the one that let her find her...
But you're right.
It's not my fault.
You said you blamed yourself.
Well, I was wrong.
What, d'you think I'm enjoying this? Eh?
You think I'm having a great time while everybody else is suffering?
And what about me? Eh?
It's your fault that I've lost Shirley.
I've ruined that woman's life. She's finished.
And so am I.
Dad, I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry.
Can't really remember your mum, can you, Ben?
What was she like as a mum? If you can remember.
She was always laughing and...
she was always kind.
She'd give me a hug and I'd forget everything.
Your sweet, kind, funny mum.
Yeah. You're right, Kathy was all those things, she was special.
When I said I wished you'd died in that crash,
I didn't mean it.
..sometimes I wish you'd never been born at all.
Blood...blood thicker than water?
That terrified Kathy. Know why?
Cos it meant you'd turn out just like me.
She loved you!
Not by the end. By the end, she hated me.
Looking at you...
looking at you, she must be turning in her grave.
The things I've done...
It's all been me trying to be like you! I'm not evil!
Like me? You're nothing like me.
HE HUMS TO HIMSELF
Shirl. Shirl, where you going? Let's go somewhere?
Talk? After what I've just heard? No. You know, you're right.
You're right. We'll go and talk. We'll go to my place. And talk.
No, let's go to my place. I mean, our place.
It hasn't been our place since you chucked me out.
So it's Hev's or nothing. And get your hands off me!
Everything all right here?
-Depends on what you mean by all right.
-All right, Shirl,
I'll come to your place. Whatever you want, eh?
Just another lying, weak man, Officer. Why do we do it, eh?
Well, take it indoors, will you?
Yeah, I'll take it indoors.
Looks like we're going to have that talk after all.
How many bottles can I get for 200? Lovely!
Yeah, well, what lady doesn't love champagne, eh?
See you in five minutes.
HE HUMS CHEERFULLY
MUSIC: "War (What Is It Good For?)" by Edwin Starr
# Yeah! What is it good for?
# Absolutely nothing.
# Oh! Yeah!
# Absolutely... #
Well, I hope you're standing to attention, Mr Ray...
Derek Branning? How nice of you to greet us on the doorstep.
DS Bourne. I believe you've seen one of these before, sir.
-Darling, you all right?
-How are you?
Good, good. Look at them.
Last time I saw one of them must have been Lauren's christening, Tan.
Don't look at me, this is all their work.
Isn't it lovely? All of us being together.
Worth skipping work for?
I only work mornings.
Here, I say, I hope Alice is partial to humorous.
Humorous! Where is Derek? He's getting the booze, ain't he?
Probably got cold feet and legged it, ain't he?
-What's the matter with you?
-He'll be here.
Give it a rest, will you, Tan? Please.
And you, you stay away from all that.
Thought you were going to keep an eye on her?
I can't believe you just said that!
What? She stands next to a beer can and suddenly I'm a bad mother?
It's important to Derek that it all goes well today.
Listen to your old man.
-Abi, go and get the door.
Are you going to apologise?
-Are you serious?
-I am. Go on. It's going to be Derek, ain't it?
Sorry, you think my family's going to show him up, of all people?
Look around, we've got one daughter
who's moping over a half-cut hood-rat
and one who thinks a good night's downing a load of vodka
-and choking on her own vomit.
Hi. I'm Alice.
You muppet, you're not supposed to mix that stuff with lager.
You know that cos you're going to be a vet. My good girl.
She's going to go and get great exam results and she's going to be a vet.
Me and the good girl are going to have a big house
and going to live far away.
And we're going to have a garden
and a hot tub and them pots with the mini trees.
And a house pig?
Whatever my Abs wants. You want a house pig, babe?
Yeah, you're definitely crazy.
< Abs, come on, darling.
Won't happen, though.
It won't happen.
Cos I'm not good enough, am I?
Prince Harry's not good enough according to my dad.
I'll get you some water...
But we didn't mean it.
< Abi, sweetheart.
-I'll be one minute!
-Didn't mean to kill her.
You and Ben.
I heard everything.
Ian, I've gotta tell you the truth, before they start coming after me.
It's like a burning feeling inside, it's like I can't breathe...
-The truth about what?
-Dad... I just saw Dad. Dad and...
going off with her and... Together, both of them...
-Ben, it's all right. It's not your fault.
No, it is. All right? Dad said I'm all twisted and I'm ruined inside...
What, like him?
But you know the real me, don't you, Ian? Eh?
Like Mum did?
Ben, how can she do this to me?
After everything, after Cindy, after Mel...
I blame your dad.
This is his fault. He must have forced his hands on Mandy...
Mandy? I dunno...
Is that why you think I'm here?
All right. So why are you here in this state, then?
Come on, Ben. The truth.
Look, this is me, OK? I know you. Truth.
I killed Heather.
How messed up are you?
What kind of twisted man are you?
You killed Heather?
Oh, my God.
These constant lies...
D'you know how sick you are?
Yeah, you, Phil.
Bringing up his dead mother like that. I heard you.
Bladdered. Bullying him. Your own boy. Your own son.
You heard me bawling Ben out. Is that it?
I heard how you think you can talk to him like that.
How you think you can talk to everybody, don't you?
Well, I've heard quite enough.
I am not - NOT - listening to this.
Do you understand me, Ben?
I mean, every time you fall out with your father,
every attention-seeking drama
is getting more and more ridiculous than the last one.
And these lies, right?
These constant lies!
You have got to stop making up these stupid, outrageous stories.
I mean, you could get yourself into so much trouble.
What if someone believes you?
(It was an accident.)
It was an accident.
It was an accident, it was an accident,
it was an accident, Ian!
Help me. Please.
Ian. Ian, Ian!
I don't know what to do. I can't understand a word he's saying.
She looks quite sweet.
-I'm sure your dad'll be here soon.
-That's Uncle Jack, the ex-cop.
What's Jay doing getting hammered in the afternoon anyway?
I never touch alcohol neither. Except for medicinal purposes.
One beer. He's had one beer, Mum. He's having some sort of breakdown.
-My sister, the drama queen.
Would you like a piece of sponge?
It's brought it all back, actually.
All the stuff to do with his dad's murder.
Abi, go and put the kettle on, please?
-Or there is Battenberg.
My granddad's second wife. She's really good with a cake mix.
I want to sort out my boyfriend.
-It's not that we don't care, darling...
-He's crying, Mum.
Muttering about Heather and her getting killed or something.
I don't know, because I can't understand him.
-Is he feeling sick?
-Oh, well done, Mum(!)
-You've given him your special remedy.
-My Nan, the local drug pusher.
She's a martyr to her sinuses.
I am filling your niece in on her history. Both sides.
Cora, are you still brewing that hay fever potion?
It's liquid antihistamine, Max.
You can't drink alcohol with it. Not even one beer.
Abi, how many times have I told you to read the label, eh?
Go and take Jay upstairs, have him lie down on our bed.
Oi! What do you mean, our bed?
-And take him a bucket.
-Abi, he sleeps alone, all right?
-Oh, you really think I want to have sex in my own parents' bed?!
Would you like a jam tart?
So, do you want another drink, Alice?
Cup of tea? Coffee?
Vodka? Valium? Nice little hay fever remedy?
So, Alice. In your own time.
Why don't you tell us something about yourself?
Listen, Ray. Look just give me two minutes, yeah?
Two minutes, OK?
Come on, eh?
She's my daughter. My long-lost daughter, eh?
On account of her mother being a very bitter woman.
And she's finally tracked me down. And we're having a party.
A very significant and important family party.
-If you need to check the warrant, sir...
-Yes, I can see the warrant!
Illegal booze. You've had a tip-off.
And, I might add, undoubtedly a malicious
and unfounded tip off at that.
You can write that down in your little book for a start off!
Oh, look at the state of...!
Look, it's my daughter, eh? My only daughter.
And at this very minute, she's across the Square
in a household full of strangers, waiting for me.
I mean, haven't you got a family?
Yeah? Someone that you can't afford to let down?
Please, I've got to get to that party.
Ah, thank you. At last.
The moment my officers have finished their search,
you'll be free to leave, Mr Branning.
Now, why don't we put the kettle on?
Oh, go on. Have a drink, will you?
-Probably the only reason you bothered coming.
-Don't lecture me.
What happened? Did your crack pipe run out?
Or did Tanya run out of sisters for you to have a go at?
I don't want a drink!
Four miserable little weeks and you chucked me out.
I never chucked you.
Her last breath. In here.
And then four weeks later,
I'm in here, burying my head in her pillow. My best mate!
Got a bit boring, did I?
Me and my stupid broken heart!
Didn't get over it quick enough.
Didn't pay you enough attention. You self-obsessed, ugly, little man!
It's not... You just don't understand!
You're the one that needs a drink.
You're the one with the weight of the world
and the right to rip his own son apart!
All I wanted was you.
I would have done anything.
Everything. I just wanted you.
You do not understand.
We both do.
Part of the deal, weren't it?
You never gave me a thought.
And I put my lipstick on and I kept the bed warm.
Not any more. Not again.
Why are we even bothering, eh?
Standing on ceremony.
Pretending to be civilised.
It's not how it looks.
I hope you'll be very happy together.
You're all right. It's all right.
She was waiting her whole life for someone like Andrew.
She told me that in the chippie.
In her stupid headband.
It's that beer, Jay. It's Nan's meds.
You're the one, Abs. I've found you and I ain't ever...
Don't ever leave me. Please?
So, you've answered the door
in your luminous bra
and your Private Benjamin number!
-Not funny, Dee.
-Anyway, he's stood there
with the daughter and a bag...
A bag with a game of Scrabble in it?
You are not taking this seriously, you know.
And then you, you've told her... You tell Sasha
that you're joining the...?
The Territorial Army.
And then you tell him you're going to borrow a bigger dictionary
and then you spend the next however long in the chocolate aisle
freezing your crackers off with your little knickers on!
I feel sick.
And this is my surprised face.
She looks down her nose at me, you know. That Sasha,
She's one of those school girls that's got badges, innit?
I bet you she's never once forgotten her pencil case.
Oh! How can I go back there? They're still there, innit?
I can't even spell.
You want me to call him?
-Oh, yeah. Please?
-Oh, please, Dee!
No way, Kim!
I am not going to lie to Ray for you.
Yeah, Ray. Kim, she's er...
She's fallen over and broken her neck.
Oh, sorry! That's what I'm going to do to her later. No, she's...
Sorry, she's working a shift at the Vic.
Yeah. And there's been...
a sudden...Darts! Darts match,
and Jean, she's run off her feet, apparently. Yeah.
Anyway, Kim says she's sorry
for being such a monumental pain in the backside,
but she'll call you later.
Yeah. Explain for herself.
What is this, eh?
What's all that?
-Dee, I love you. I really love you!
-Get off me, you freak.
I can't remember.
I don't know what's happened and what I've dreamed.
I mean, I knew I was going to be scared.
Dad had got out and I knew what that meant.
I just thought...
I didn't know it was you, Ian.
I thought Hev went to the Old Bill and told them that I'd...
I'd lied to get him sent down.
He could've killed me.
My dad could've killed me.
My dad could've actually killed me this time.
You know, she was just there.
You know, trying to calm me down like I was a little kid.
Saying, "Don't worry, don't worry. Your dad will understand."
She was just there.
Even when you didn't want her to be.
Even when it was nothing...
It was nothing to do with her!
Even when there was no-one else in the whole world.
..stupid Bugsy Malone!
It wasn't my fault.
I'm not lying.
It was an accident.
I didn't mean to hit out.
Ian, she was my friend!
She was my friend!
She warned me.
Me and you had just got together
and I think I forgot
your birthday or something.
She was scared of you.
She told me off.
She said that if I took you for granted,
one day I'd wake up on my own.
Wise woman, Heather Trott.
Two Babychams in,
leaning across the bar of the Vic, she goes,
I should've known better than to cheat a friend.
And waste the chance that I'd been given.
She was singing.
I told her to do one.
I love you.
I said stop it.
Not about need, not about falling apart.
Not about the boys...
And you're not second best.
I don't know how you've done it,
I don't know how you've worn me down.
But I can't help it. I love you.
Come home, Shirl.
Heather's not here any more.
Every time I try and claw myself back up,
What have I ever done?
-Ian, I'm sorry. It's my problem.
-I've just done my best, all right?
My very best!
What do you want, Ben? Do you want blood?
I mean, is that it? Sweat? Tears?
-Tears, do they make you feel important? Is that it?
"She was just there."
Do you know what? I have spent more time worrying about you
than I ever have done with Peter.
She was in her home.
You stupid, ignorant little moron!
I thought you understood.
What was the problem? Was she breathing too heavily or something?
Did she not put enough sugar in your tea?
Heather gave you good, kind words and you caved her head in?!
-It was an accident!
-No, Ben. That's not a accident.
An accident is when you break a window.
You took Heather Trott's life and it is all your fault.
-I know what I've done!
No, there is still no idea.
Cos all you've come out with is excuses and lies
and clever words to weasel your way out of this.
Because it's in your blood. It is who...you...are!
-Back off, Ian!
-No, Ben. It's who you are, OK?
You are Ben MITCHELL.
Dad's told the police!
Then why are you bothering me?
You know what you've got to do.
Ray, hi! Should have just told him earlier.
-I thought she was on exercises.
Listen, Trace told me there is no darts match today.
-No, no, no!
Obviously when it comes down to it, you're not interested.
No! No, I am.
I'm really interested.
It's just, look.
I've got chocolate body paint and everything at home, yeah?
I'm interested in you,
but I...I just don't do kids.
Look, I can't hack your kid, yeah?
Oh, come on! That's a bit over the top, innit?
We'll get back to normal.
Better than normal.
Where are the boys?
The place is a bit of a mess.
You go upstairs, have a bath.
-I'll have a quick tidy round, yeah?
-You want to be careful, Phil.
You've already used the L word twice in one day.
All this new man stuff, you'll give yourself a heart attack.
Go put the kettle on.
And empty the bin. This place stinks like armpits!
That's one of the things I like about her father.
Who gave her the corkscrew?
No, he's a good brother. He's a bit over-protective sometimes.
-Yeah, where is Carol?
-He's always there when you need him.
Apart from now, obviously.
-He'll turn up, young lady.
Your father's a bit of charm, a bit of rough.
You should be proud.
Very appealing gentleman.
Right. Coffee anyone? Black coffee, Mum? Couple of paracetamol?
A person don't have to be hammered to give a compliment.
And you shouldn't judge a book
by your own standards.
Yes, your father is a very kind and thoughtful man.
There's been some terrible things happening round here recently,
dreadful things. But he is always so charming, such a gentlemen.
With a nice suit and a white shirt
and that's always such a comfort, isn't it?
-You didn't say anything.
It's just they're all saying nice things about my dad, but you didn't.
You see, Officer?
You shouldn't always believe what you're told.
Sometimes it's just malicious slander.
Let's call it a day.
Sure I can't offer you a refill? Spot of dinner? No?
Well, apology accepted.
You know where the door is, don't you?
Like I'd ever grass up my own son to the Old Bill?
It always comes out. It always catches up with you in the end.
-It's already haunting him.
-Oh, pick up your bleeding heart, Ian.
What were you thinking?
Have you heard his stories about the last time he was inside?
He stopped her from breathing. You know what that's like.
What is that like? Heather Trott, lying on her own kitchen floor.
A young kid has lost his mum. I mean, he knows what that's like.
And you think it'll bring her back, do you? Eh?
If he gets banged up? You think the truth goes away when you're inside?
You think that ruining his whole future
is what Heather would have wanted?
What Heather would have wanted is to be alive.
To have a life with Andrew Cotton,
to watch her little boy play football,
to work in the launderette, to eat cheese sandwiches.
That's what she would've wanted. She had a right. Right and wrong.
Oh, yeah. Says the man who walked away from me
when I was having a heart attack.
Who's driven away more wives than I've had hot dinners.
Who fakes cancer to get a bird to marry him!
Well, I'm not proud of myself, OK?
And you know what?
When I look back on my life, it is a catalogue of mistakes and failures
and missed opportunities. Me and Heather Trott, we're just like
two of life's great losers.
-What is wrong with you?
-She deserves justice, OK?
You can't just sweep this under the carpet, Phil.
You're not a judge and she deserves a jury.
If he puts his hands up for this, if he goes inside...
I can't help him, Ian. He's one his own.
You can't let him get away with murder!
You can't let him!
If you do that, you are on your own with this one
and I will just wash my hands of him. He's not my brother any more.
-Ben, where you going?
Just shut up! Just shut up, both of you!
BEN STRUGGLES FOR BREATH
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
No, Max. Max, no.
You've got to keep her there. I'm on my way.
Please! Please, don't go. Alice, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I got held up.
Please don't go. Let me explain.
Alice, please. Please don't go now. Don't go now!
I found these practically walking down the stairs on their own.
Not been holding it together, have you?
You all right, Ben?
He's not baked a decent cake in weeks, have you, Ben?
-I'm back, but I'm not a skivvy.
No, I've made some for all of us.
You carry on like this, Phil, I'm seriously going to think there's something wrong.
Wish me luck?
You have more important stuff on your mind than my exams.
I need you to look after Bobby for an hour or so.
He's got the dentist.
Didn't you hear me?
Didn't you hear me?!
-Or does it not matter what I say?
Oh, just ignore me, is that it?
I can sort Bobby, it's fine...
YOU look after Bobby! And do it now!
Told you it'd be all right.
Yeah, only cos you ain't let her speak.
Just gone on and on about rubbish.
I told her Jay was spending a couple of nights at Abi's.
I don't want her charging round there to find out what's wrong.
What are we going to do about Ian?
We can't just leave him. You heard what he said.
Just leave it to me. You've done enough damage already.
I thought Shirley knew. I thought she'd heard us. Then once I saw that copper...
Yeah, I know. you thought, "I know what I'll do, I'll make it ten times worse
-"and tell Ian all about it."
-That wasn't my fault.
-He forced it out of you, did he?
Held you down, put the thumbscrews on you?
Look, Dad, you're always impossible to talk to.
You scared me, and all.
OK, son, OK.
Just leave this to me.
Yeah, but she was still in Hev's old flat yesterday.
-Yeah, well she ain't now.
-But I couldn't even get her out of the place on Friday,
not even for a coffee. And Phil was on one.
Yeah, well I saw her first thing this morning moving her stuff back into Phil's.
You know what they remind me of, Phil and Shirley? They remind me of... What's that couple that begin with B?
-What, Burke and Hare?
-I mean Burton and Taylor.
-Can't live together, can't live apart.
-You all right, darling?
I'm off to Charlie's.
All right, sweetheart.
Give Kat your love, shall I?
Yes, of course give Kat my love, and Tommy. It goes without saying, don't it?
-Course I will.
Jean... Sorry, sweetheart,
best not to mention to Kat about Roxy staying here -
not that she'd have a problem with it or anything.
It's just that... Well, she's got a lot on her plate
and I don't want to give her anything else to worry about, you know?
But there isn't.
No, exactly. No.
Listen, you have a safe journey, OK?
FRONT DOOR OPENS
Brought you some breakfast.
-Extra bacon on yours...
-No, please, out.
-I'm trying on my dress!
So it's bad luck for you to see it before the wedding.
-Not superstitious, are you?
-I'm going to need all the luck I can get, marrying you.
And I've already had bad news today as well.
What was that?
Ricky's just called, and he doesn't know if he can get the time off.
So he doesn't know if he's coming.
Brilliant wedding this is turning out to be. My brother's going to be a no-show,
and now you've nearly seen my dress. This wedding is jinxed!
You on your own?
Now, let's get this straight.
You had your chance. Ben's made his decision. End of story.
A woman's dead, Phil.
Yeah, and Ben's in pieces.
There's nothing we can do about the first thing, not now,
but there's something we can do about him.
Who is he? I mean, how could he...?
What have you turned him into?
-Shirley's back now.
-Well, that'll help, won't it?
-She's Heather's best mate.
What ain't going to help is you.
So we've all got to pretend like everything's normal? How can we?
Listen, I'm going to make this nice and simple, so even you can understand it, all right?
Now, you go after Ben, I'll come after you.
If he goes down, I take you down too.
He's already down.
Right, I'm a girl, OK?
A girl who has an exam in three hours.
I should be revising, not babysitting.
Where's your dad?
He wanted me to look after him. Said he had something to do.
-I don't know.
Well, I can look after him if you want.
I mean, I ain't got no exams.
-He wasn't too keen on Mandy's offer.
-Well, I'm not Mandy.
No, you're right. You're much better looking.
Yeah. Yeah, OK. He's not going to object to you, is he?
So what happened? Did he woo you, yeah? With champagne and red roses and all that?
-No, it was him serenading me on the pavement that clinched it!
I'm glad you're home. I am.
You know, you in that flat, with all Heather's stuff around.
She'll always be with you, you know that. In your heart.
Where it matters.
Ooh. He's really got the hump with you, hasn't he?
So why did he just freeze you out?
Kim, that was Arctic. What exactly did you say to him yesterday?
I told you - nothing.
-I don't know why you just don't tell him the truth.
You planned a sexy afternoon in for the pair of you,
and he turned up with Sasha.
Kim, he'd probably just have a laugh about it.
I did tell him the truth.
He didn't find it too funny.
I need something from you.
If it's a service wash you're wanting, you'll have to wait,
cos I'm all behind.
Are you OK?
It don't get any easier, Ian.
Every time I come in here, I still see her,
mixing up her coloureds and her whites
and cutting up her cheese.
Shirl! Shirl, listen.
-You sure about this?
No. There's only one way to find out, isn't there?
I'm sorry, Ian.
I know that thinking about her all the time ain't going to change nothing,
nor bring her back, neither.
Anyway, what did you come in for? Cos you didn't bring no washing with you.
Admire me view, was it? Wear me flooring out?
What if you could?
Change what, Ian?
Ian! What you talking about?
What are you doing?
-Ben's getting me a milkshake.
-No, you get away from him!
-Just get away from him! Come on, we're going.
I'm sorry, you actually said that?
You actually told him that you weren't stepmother material?
No. I told him I couldn't hack his kid.
But it didn't come out the way that I wanted it to.
Look, Kim, Ray has got baggage, OK?
But you're going to have to accept that if you want to keep seeing him.
After all the lowlifes that you've been dating,
you don't want to let someone halfway-decent slip through your fingers.
Yeah, but then there's baggage and then there's baggage, innit?
An ex-wife - who cares? Some ex-girlfriend who won't let go?
I can deal with that. But...
What, a 13-year-old kid is too hot to handle?
What is actually wrong with you?
You weren't this bothered about Morgan.
Yeah, but she's not 13, is she? She's like 23 going on 33.
-And she knows everything about everything.
-Ah, I get it.
-Yeah, you're scared that she's going to make you look thick.
Then Ray's going to have second thoughts about the two of you.
Which he's obviously having, anyway.
-I've just phoned Ricky.
I've never heard of him.
I've told him he's coming, no excuses,
I'll even pay his wages if I have to.
Ricky is not our only problem. I've just spoken to Carol.
She doesn't know if the kids can get here till the day itself.
Some problem with the tickets, engineering work, or,
I don't know, something or other. I mean, can you imagine it?
The bridesmaids and the page boy, no rehearsals,
arriving on the day and just winging it. It's a total nightmare!
What is it, Ian?
What was all that stuff with Lucy?
And screaming at poor little Bobby like that?
I mean, he's upstairs, he's sobbing...sobbing his little eyes out.
He doesn't understand.
And yesterday, Ian, all that stuff about me and Phil.
Come on, now. You're really starting to worry me here.
FRONT DOOR RATTLING
Hello? Can I come in? It's me, Dot.
Would you like some cake?
It's left over from yesterday, so it's fresh.
It's from that party what the Brannings gave for Alice.
You know, Derek's daughter? All ended sooner than they thought.
Yeah, thanks, Dot. I'll get some plates, shall I?
Lovely, ta. Here we go.
Now...have some of me sponge.
Bit of Battenberg and a couple of iced tarts.
CHEERFUL SHOUTING FROM TELEVISION
Hev's hen night. Got the DVD off of Kim.
I've not been able to watch it since she...
-'Come on, Hev.
Just five minutes, eh?
Five minutes remembering how she was.
'I love you more!
'I love you more! Woo!
'I'm going to do a wee-wee-wee-wee-wee.'
-'You're going to do a what? Do a what?
ROXY CLEARS HER THROAT
-Oh, you all right, sweetheart?
-You all right?
You been keeping away?
No, no, I've just been shopping, that's all.
-You know, I could always just move back, don't you?
Well, if...if me being here bothers you that much,
-then... It was only supposed to be for a couple of nights, anyway.
Rox, Rox, Rox, what makes you think that, eh?
You reading Jean the riot act earlier.
Oh, Rox, come on, you know what Jean's like when she starts wagging her tongue.
I know you, OK? And...
Look, it was just one mate helping out another mate.
And all that stuff is ancient history, OK?
But if it makes you uncomfortable, then...
It don't. It doesn't.
And you said it yourself, you know, about Shirl moving back with Phil.
-Do you really want to sit there with Amy watching them two canoodle on the couch?
Exactly. Right, cup of tea?
-Yeah, yeah, go on.
-Right, I'll stick the kettle on.
Kim's made her feelings crystal clear.
No, she's done what she always does,
and that's to let her tongue run away with her.
Yeah, well, Sasha's a step too far, end of story.
Or a wake-up call.
You like Kim, yeah?
-No, I mean, REALLY like her?
I want to try something.
I didn't know she was going to do that.
She already had it on when I went in there.
Of course things are going to get a bit tricky now and again,
but give it time and let things settle down.
Ben, you've got to man up, you've got to front things out, whatever it is, you know.
It's the only way to get through this.
-But you will get through this, I promise you.
-And you promised you'd sort Ian out.
-You said leave him to you.
Why? What's happened? Ben?
I was getting Bobby a milkshake.
Lucy had an exam, and I said I'd look after him for her.
I just thought that if he saw us together, hanging out,
doing normal things, then he'd see...see that I'm not all bad.
He went mental, didn't he?
I thought he was going to come straight out with it then and there. Tell everyone.
Now, look - Lou, Pauline, Pete.
Yeah. But, I mean, there's plenty left, aren't there, Ian?
Lucy, Bobby, Ben.
I don't know what to do.
He can't do this to me.
I can't live like this!
Ray's had to nip down the cash and carry.
And he's asked if you'll look after Sasha.
I still don't see why I can't just go home.
It's only going to be about half an hour or so, innit?
And Kim don't mind. Do you?
So how'd she take it?
You've got brains.
And you're nice.
All right? All sorted. I'm so good.
-I've just been on the phone to a limo company.
-A limo company.
-Liam, Morgan and...Tiffany?
Yeah. Right, no more messing around with buses, trains,
-they're going to be picked up and delivered, day before the wedding.
-Tiffany in a limo.
-Yeah, all she needs now is a tiara.
Hang on, that's them now. Excuse me.
Yeah, about ten o'clock, please.
Yeah, cool. How much is that?
It's a company account.
Yeah, Branning Brothers.
Yeah, I'll call you with the details. Cheers, mate.
-What have you done to Ian?
He's in a terrible state.
It's nothing to do with me.
Well, it usually is.
It's probably down to that bird he's shacked up with.
I talked to Mandy
and she said that Ian has been going on about you and her.
What? Well, I don't know where he's got that from.
I won't do it.
I won't stand by and watch you treat Ian like you've treated poor Shirley.
We're trying to make a go of it, you know,
trying to put it all behind us.
Shirl needs that too, you know - a good family, a proper home.
I mean, after what she's been through. Well, you'd understand that, Dot, wouldn't you?
Cos you lost a good friend and all, didn't you?
So if I'm back with Shirley,
why would I go round chasing after someone else?
Dot, the only thing on my mind right now is looking after my family
and keeping them safe. But...
Well, if Ian's got some daft idea about me and Mandy in his head,
well, I'll go round there and see him and put him straight.
You all right there, madam?
This is your fault.
What? What's my fault?
This is your fault. I had to lie down now because I'm in shock.
Phil and Shirley canoodling on the sofa. It's disgusting - I can't get it out of my head.
That's can't be good for shock, though, sweetheart, just lying there. Surely not.
You know what you need? Something to bring you round.
A kind of a shock to get you out of a shock.
-Don't. Don't. Don't you dare, Alfie.
-Are you daring me now?
-I'm warning you.
-Not only is Peroxide daring me, she's also warning me!
-Put it down. Put it down.
-Say, "Please, Alfie."
-I really don't want...
-What is she doing...?
I'm so sorry.
-So do you want to do anything?
Um... Watch something?
Daytime TV's for mindless idiots.
OK. Well, you can't do nothing all day.
I bet you and your dad never stop talking, do you?
Talking about various things, like current affairs and things, you know?
Like two little brainboxes.
Ms Kimberley Fox?
Of 18-20 Albert Square?
Oh. The B&B's closed.
Which is why you haven't been answering your letters, I suppose.
Look, we're going to open up next month, yeah?
Not with that sign out front, you're not.
Frank Hawkins, Walford Borough Council.
I take it this is your handiwork?
"Kim's Olympic Palace." What's the problem?
The problem is, "Olympic" is a trademark.
-What's that mean?
-Which you have stolen.
Hang on a minute, hang on. Look, I paid for that myself, yeah?
-It's all kosher.
-He means it's their intellectual property.
Oh. So why didn't he say so?
What's that mean?
It means you just can't put "Olympic" up anywhere you feel like.
Are you telling me you didn't know?
Must be the only person in London who doesn't know.
And the rest of the country.
You could be fined thousands.
It's Mo's room,
it's only right that she has it back. It's OK. The sofa's fine.
I know it is, and that's where I'm going to be.
-I want you and Amy to have my bed, all right?
-You don't have to do that.
Roxy, I insist, darling.
You still haven't told me what little Miss Muppet's doing here.
Do you want to keep your voice down?
-I'm just putting her up for a bit, that's all.
-A bit of what?
-Till she finds somewhere permanent. Anyway, what are you doing here?
-I kept asking her, "What's going on back in the Vic?"
"Oh, I'm not supposed to say," she said.
So I thought I'd come back and find out for meself.
What are you going to do?
Dad, you can't. Look, this is my fault, all right? All of it.
If anything happens to Ian, that'll be my fault and all, won't it?
HEV'S HEN PLAYS ON LAPTOP
-'Go on, girl!
-Thanks for this, babe.
Yeah, thanks for this. I really enjoyed it.
I enjoyed it too.
And should you ever need any more help...
-Well, actually, Sasha's still off school tomorrow
because of the asbestos...
Oh, well, tomorrow it is, then.
FRONT DOOR SLAMS
This it, is it?
Lock the door, turn the music up so no-one can hear me scream?
We're on the same side, Ian -
on Ben's side, your brother's side.
I don't have a brother any more.
Come on, Phil, do what you came here to do.
Make sure I don't say nothing. I don't care any more, OK?
You know what I could do.
I could really make sure you don't say anything,
but what would that do to Ben, eh?
It'd just make him worse, wouldn't it? I told you, he's in pieces.
And, OK, OK, maybe he deserves to be, but that's happened now
and there's...there's a lot of reasons why that's happened.
Now, a lot of those reasons are down to me -
I don't need some psychological report to tell me that I've messed up.
What psychological report?
I know what I've done to him.
And I know what he's been doing as well.
He's been pretending to be something that he's not.
But we can change that, we can change him,
you and me - his dad and his brother.
Kathy's son and Kathy's husband.
-Oh, right, so you're playing that one now, are you?
-Well, that's what we are, Ian,
whether you like it or not.
So what would Kathy do?
You know, Phil, and so do I.
Kathy would never have let this happen in the first place.
Kathy would never have let Ben get like this.
But I let him get like this, and so did you, Ian.
Cos you were there and all, weren't you?
It's up to us to bring him back -
for you and me, the two of us,
to bring him back.
OK, OK, if you want to say, "Go to the Old Bill.
"We'll go to the police
"and tell them everything..."
..all right, do that.
But you've got to do it now.
Because you can't let Ben live like this,
have this hanging over his head.
What about me, all right?
It's hanging over me!
Phil, I've just known for one day and my head feels like it's going to explode!
So end it now.
Or we end something else.
We end 20 years of us tearing strips off each other.
And we start doing what we should have been doing all along.
We start doing what Kathy would want us to do.
We start putting the energy, all that energy, into making Ben right.
Well, this is a first, innit?
Me begging you.
Which only goes to show that people can change. Things can change.
-KNOCK AT DOOR
-Is it safe?
Brought you some dinner.
Seeing as you blanked breakfast.
What's the matter? Another problem? Tell me what it is, we'll sort it.
Maybe weddings on this square just aren't meant to be.
I mean, look at poor old Heather.
-I think someone's just trying to tell us something. First Ricky...
-..then Liam, Morgan and Tiffany.
And now... Oh! And you've seen the dress too. Brilliant(!)
I can't do this.
The one day I'm meant to look like a princess, I'm going to look like an elephant.
I am being serious, Michael.
No, the bigger the better.
Yeah, I'll pop in later on, we'll get it all firmed up, yeah?
And, listen, I don't want no-one paying for anything.
Have you go that? All right. Cheers, bud.
Can we come out yet?
I should be revising!
All right. Close your eyes, girls.
That's it. Stand there, keep them closed. And you, come on.
That's it, ladies, keep them closed. And...open!
-Here, let me give you a hand.
-No, I've got it!
Thank you. I've got it.
No! Don't open them. Just leave them.
Come and finish opening your presents, yeah?
Have you won the lottery or something?
I just wanted to do something nice.
I know that's hard to believe considering the mood I've been in.
After your performance yesterday, he couldn't wait to get there.
Have you even slept?
Last but not least...
Oh, Ian! Oh, this is amazing!
-Oh, thank you so much!
Don't forget your card.
Do I look like the sort of girl that opens the card before the presents?
-I've got to go.
Yeah, but I'm leaving you in the knowledge that the best is yet to come.
It's study leave, not sleep leave.
I've been working. Upstairs.
Anyway, what's all this for?
I'm going round Hev's, to pack her stuff away properly.
Take what I can to the charity shop and give the keys back to Janine.
I need more tape.
It's good she's clearing everything out.
-It won't be worth anything unless you learn to live under the same roof as her.
Shirley? I was thinking maybe a bit later we could all go out for a curry or something?
Yeah. As long as he don't have a vindaloo.
We'll get there, though.
Dad, you promise Ian ain't going to say nothing?
I told you. It's over.
Yeah, but ain't you forgetting someone?
It's back to plain old Kimberley's Palace now, innit?
It's like an arrow through my heart, you know.
Ooh, or a javelin.
-What you smirking at?
-Don't have a go at her.
Last thing you need is to be slung in front of a judge on trademark infringement.
KNOCK ON DOOR
I've just been round the launderette.
And you weren't there. Again.
You watched the DVD yet?
No. I haven't had the time.
I'm just going round Hev's. Pack a few things up.
I thought there might be something you'd like to keep?
Perhaps another time.
There ain't going to be another time, Dot. This is it.
Well, I'm very happy you're in a place where you can throw her life in a box.
Do you really think I want to do this?
And why ain't you at work?
Some time today.
Sorry. That's £2.80.
I've just given you a fiver.
-No fivers in there.
-Well, I've paid you.
-Here, I'll get it.
Wait. You're owed wages from The Arches.
Well, it's your money, you've earned it.
You either pick it up or it'll go into petty cash.
Have you seen my exam timetable?
You know, I don't mean to boast or anything,
but I reckon I got more presents than you and Bobby.
Do you reckon there's money in that card?
What does it say?
So I've drawn up a short list of bands.
I reckon we need to have a magician for the kids. They like that after the speeches.
I meant what I said. I don't want to get married.
Don't be ridiculous, we're having a baby together.
Yes, and your little swimmers have done their job, and you're done.
You're just feeling...hormonal. PMT. That'll be it.
-Yeah, yeah, you're a beautiful expectant mother.
Look at you. You've just got to embrace it.
Exactly. Look at me.
People won't know if it's a bride walking down the aisle, all right,
or Heather Trott's second coming.
You should lay off the carbs, then.
Were there any other diet tips?
-The last of what I owe you.
I'd prefer it if you took back my criminal conviction.
It was benefit fraud not genocide.
Ray has got today off. So not only am I events manager, but I'm also head chef.
So not today, Mo Harris. Not today.
You took the fine, this is your due. Oh, I'll leave it upstairs.
-What's she flapping for?
-She's having a bit of an off day. It's a five or a six, all right.
Sorry, Patrick. The fish smelt a bit fishy so I've done you corn beef hash instead.
You are so good to me.
Easy, Patrick, easy.
Oh, that reminds me. I found these on the bathroom floor.
Nearly broke me neck.
-Well, don't look at me.
-They're not mine, are they?
It won't happen again.
Kat's going to love this, ain't she?
Keep it down. She's my mate and I'm doing her a favour. How many times I got to tell you?
Mo, how's Charlie getting on?
Better. That's why I'm back - to keep an eye on Casanova.
-Oh, shut up!
Is this some sort of sick joke?
Cindy was your first wife.
The other day you're accusing me of sleeping with Phil,
yesterday you're biting Lucy and Bobby's head off, and today this.
Do you even love me anymore?
I've had a lot on my mind lately, all right?
Well, that makes two of us.
Look, it was meant to be a surprise, OK?
But if you want the truth, you might as well know now.
-I've been planning a party for you.
-I'm throwing a surprise party for you tonight.
-I get a party?
Please tell me you haven't.
Oh, come on, Dot, this is not like you at all.
-I've never known you miss a day off work.
-It's unheard of.
What is this, the Spanish Inquisition?
But it's not healthy, man,
you moping around in your dressing gown like this.
I am not moping and I am not missing work.
I'm taking a day off, which is a very different proposition.
If you're having a day's leave, come to the Vic and have a drink.
You know very well that I never touch alcohol,
except on special occasions.
Another flying pig darts across the pink skies of Walford.
I will not tolerate sarcasm in me own home.
Lucy, you've got the wrong end of the stick. You really have.
I'm not broke. Far from it.
How are you planning on paying my tuition fees?
With bread and butter? My future for her. Thanks(!)
I hope you're not talking about me.
You're overdrawn on all your accounts. All your credit cards are maxed out.
Luce, Luce, OK, listen, I'm a businessman.
I've just moved stuff around, I've invested.
You don't have to worry about money.
There's more than enough for your tuition fees and for all of us.
Happy now? Drama queen.
So why have you been acting so weird?
Cos I'm a dad. That's my job!
Look, honestly, everything's fine, OK. Cross me heart.
Right. OK. Well, I've got to revise.
Listen, I've got a few things I need to go and sort out. Can you hold the fort for me?
Yeah, seeing as you're making it so worth my while.
I tell you what, this party is going to be the biggest party ever.
See you later.
FRONT DOOR OPENS
I'll have that key back too please.
You need to get ready.
-I've got you an appointment with a top body specialist person.
-Michael, literally, please stop talking to me.
He's worked with all the big names. He manages pregnancy weight.
Stretch marks. He loves stretch marks, this bloke.
-Harley Street, he's a top geezer.
Yeah, I got you a cancellation.
So, you know, if you're worried about...being a fat bird,
he'll sort you out. Yeah?
He's not here.
-You two sorted now?
-Yeah, yeah, course.
Good. Well, listen, tonight, the Vic, nine o'clock.
It's going to make one of P Diddy's parties look like a coffee morning in Richmond.
-Right. Can I have a cup of tea, please?
-Can I sit?
-How's life at the Brannings', then?
-Well, it weren't ever permanent.
Jay, I don't know why you didn't come back when Dad said.
He ain't drinking now. It's better.
Jay, what do you want me to do to make it right, eh?
-Cos, I mean, I'll do anything.
-I think that you've done enough.
Yeah. So much for being brothers, eh?
All right. Wait.
Your dad still owes me wages. Can you get them for me?
You know, when my school had asbestos, yeah,
I was out with my mates, having fun.
If someone killed you, right here, right now,
they would flee the scene with tiny nail particles
which would ultimately betray them to forensics.
Listen, don't even joke about that,
not after they bumped off Heather Trott.
They haven't found her killer yet, have they?
Is death the only thing you're interested in?
I told you, I'm going to be a forensic scientist when I'm older.
You wouldn't rather be famous?
Her flat is just round the corner, isn't it?
-Don't even think about it.
-What, are you scared?
Dad. Jay's come to collect his wages.
I thought it might be the belt or the alternator.
-Sounds like the water pump.
-Seemed all right to me. But why don't you take a look?
What are you looking at him for? I'm the one who's talking.
I just want me wages, Phil, all right?
-Just leave him.
-Yeah, well, what now, eh?
What is this place and why are we here?
My job isn't done. This baby's yours and mine. I want you to see that.
Well, I've already seen it.
The first two scans.
The scans that I weren't at? Those two scans?
-Are we keeping scores now?
-Yeah, we are, yeah. Third time lucky.
Alfie, I went out with an American once.
He was a vegetarian, of all things.
Yeah. Mo, less of the bunny, all right? We've got a lot to do.
Nothing like a bit of notice, is there? What does he want, Vegas?
No, Roxy, Ian's a mate of mine, all right?
He's been through a tough time. I want to do something special for him.
-Looks a bit cheap, doesn't it?
-Your mum didn't have a hand in designing it, did she?
I'm only doing this cos you ain't shut up about it.
Seriously, anyone would think you were the kid.
"Seriously, anyone would think you were the kid."
I was worried that if you took them, that would be it between us.
Listen, I'm not very good at this sort of thing.
Well, you know, you've been like a son to me
and a brother to Ben.
-Look what it's got me.
-Everything that's happened, it's over.
There's nothing and no-one to worry about anymore.
You're an alcoholic, violent bully
who was happy to let Andrew and then Billy take the rap for something that someone else did.
Your own cousin.
You won't understand until you have kids of your own.
-When you do, you realise you'll do anything for them. Anything.
-At what cost?
Shirley. You. My health.
But I'm going to meetings again now and Shirley's come home.
But I'd do the same again for my boy and I'd do the same for you.
Listen, right now, Shirley's over at Heather's packing up her stuff.
She's taking it down the charity shop. The old bill ain't got a lead. No-one is going to be charged.
It's over. So, please, please, come back home.
You're a good kid.
I would offer you a cup of tea but we've run out of tea bags.
Cora was too busy and Rose forgot.
That's all right, I've got my caffeine hit here.
I was only coming round to tell you about the party.
Oh, I heard. It's the talk of the town.
I'll tell you what, no expense spared.
It is going to be a great night. A great night.
I did come to the launderette but you weren't there.
Why does everybody keep going on about that?
I'm entitled to a day off, aren't I, a little break?
-Why don't you sit down?
-No, I'm fine. I am perfectly fine.
I tell you what, Dot, why don't you be fine sat down? Come on. There you go.
You're grieving. It's normal.
Yes, well, with Pat, you see, it was sudden but she'd had her life.
Whereas Heather, her life was only just beginning.
Oh, that poor girl. I can't stop thinking about it.
You know, it keeps going round and round in my head, like a wheel, spinning.
Why don't you go see a doctor or a grief counsellor?
I mean, I used to love going into that launderette, but now I dread it.
Cos every time, it's just a reminder.
Why don't you get away? You know, have a break?
What? And leave Jim in a home? I couldn't. I couldn't possibly.
Did Phil come and see you yesterday?
Cos I had a word with him. It's wrong the way he treats you.
Dot, don't worry, that's all sorted.
Listen, your Jim - Dot, he's in good hands.
And if I was you? Up and gone in a flash. Just get away.
Yeah, but you're needed here.
I mean, have you made it up with him?
Ben. He's lost a very dear friend too. He needs you.
He was telling me how much he was looking forward to performing his duties at your forthcoming nuptials.
Oh, he's my best man!
Yeah, and a fine one he'll make.
You hadn't forgotten it, had you?
It just squiggles. I can't see nothing.
Don't worry, that's the 2D imaging. Now we're high-tech.
We're going 4D.
-There we are. How's that?
You can actually see its little face. It looks like a real baby.
It is a real baby.
Is it a boy or girl?
-I thought you said you didn't want to know?
I can't keeping calling it "it". I need to know.
-I can give you a few minutes?
-All right. Shall we?
Yeah, OK, we need to know.
OK, let's have a look, then.
So what do you think, Cluedo?
Winston, tufty head down the market, reckons that it was a robbery that went wrong.
And then bang, bang, bang...
she was battered to death with bullets by a hooded man.
Blood and brains were everywhere. Urgh!
I can see why you want to get into all this. Gives a real rush, innit?
Sasha, what you crying for?
Don't leave me on my own here!
Hey. What's wrong? What happened?
What have you done to my daughter?
If you don't take something, you're going to regret it.
It just don't feel the same without her here.
Nothing's the same.
But we've got to get used to different.
What you going to have, then, Dad?
I reckon I might have a peshwari naan or definitely a chapatti.
I might even have some rice.
Make sure you save some room for sundae at your party.
Why don't we just ditch this and head over there now?
No, I just want to spend some time, the two of us.
I know I've been a nightmare lately.
-The nightmare's over, OK?
-Too many of them energy drinks.
What is it? What's wrong?
Nothing. It's a bit hot.
-What, a korma?
-This table all right for you?
-Some poppadoms, please.
Yeah, and, please, if he orders a vindaloo give him a masala.
Why do you keep looking over?
I'm... No... I don't.
Poppadoms for the Addams family, please.
Are you going to eat that?
I need some air. I'll be two minutes.
So paint for the nursery. Pink?
Oh! Um... No.
This little lady is going to be more independent woman than pink pushover, thank you very much.
We'll discuss it and get back to you.
Oh, will you?
You still want to get married?
More than you'll ever know.
Let's do it, then, Daddy.
CRIES OF SURPRISE FROM INSIDE
BELL RINGS Listen up, folks! If I could have your attention, please. Thank you.
As you're all aware, half of Walford is down. Sadly, no power.
And due to health and safety regulations,
I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to leave
until we're up and running again. ALL GROAN
Stop whinging, stop moaning. Come on, everybody. Everybody out. Come on, let's go.
That includes you, Cora. Come on, chop, chop! All out. Let's go.
Now, listen to me. This pub would have been doing business during the Blitz,
serving pints the night the Berlin Wall fell
and flogging pork scratchings the day Diana died.
-Now, come on, do your duty, my man.
Yeah. Grandad, look, it's a party.
Just bolt the doors and call it a lock-in.
-Come on, Alf, play the game, mate.
-Come on, Alfie.
Am I the sheriff in this town, or am I the sheriff?
Let's have a lock-in! CHEERING
Take one of these and return for your free meal. Really sorry about this.
All right, cheers.
-Have you seen Ian?
-Have I seen...?
Excuse me, guys, we really have to close up.
-So I can put it in a doggy bag for you if you want?
-Do I look like a dog to you?
No. It's...for the food.
You knew it was the water pump, didn't you?
Here you are, mate.
Who let you have the vindaloo?
Yeah, don't worry, he's on the sofa tonight.
ALL: # Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
# Them good old boys were drinking whisky and rye
# Sayin' this'll be the day that I die
# This'll be... #
Patrick, I think you'd better come and see this.
Ian, it's Alfie. Where are you, mate? Everyone's waiting. Give me a shout when you're on your way over.
Hurry up. Bye.
It's a lock-in.
Alfie, I'll have a double.
Just tell me what's happened.
Look, I just don't want to talk about it, OK? I'm in pieces.
Oh, free food!
What's all this?
Well, I've got to get away. Suddenly it hit me -
the misery, people dying, moving away.
So I asked Jack if he'd keep a look out, you know, for Jim.
-Where you going?
-Well, I've told you I've got to get away.
So I'm going to go and stay with Sandy, me daughter-in-law
and spend time with my little Dotty.
You can't leave. Who's going to make the tea in the morning?
I think it's a fantastic idea. Go, man.
Go and recharge your batteries.
What about me?
What about you?
You can't leave me again.
I never did leave you. It was you what left me,
taking my Charlie with you.
That's enough, Rose Elizabeth. I ain't going to the North Pole.
Where are you? Pick up!
Ian, what you doing?
Ian, stop it. You're scaring me.
We need to leave.
Here. Straight after the wedding we're going to leave,
and we can never, ever come back.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
Phil and Shirley rake over their past in an epic showdown, while Ian begins to unravel as the enormity of Ben's horrifying admission sinks in. Derek organises a party to introduce Alice to the Brannings, but finds himself unexpectedly detained by the police.
Abi is disturbed by Jay's behaviour as he continues to sink into despair, while Kim is left mortified after her attempt to cheer a morose Ray with some saucy fun backfires. Janine is left convinced her wedding is jinxed after a series of mishaps.