19/05/2012 EastEnders Omnibus

BOTTLES CLINK

What?

Don't you think you've had enough?

Anyway, we're going to Grant's, remember?

This time I booked the cab.

-Jay?

-No, he ain't coming.

There's no point.

-He can't be trusted.

-Jay'd never say anything!

He'll break. He's just a kid. A good kid.

We are staying.

All right? Cos if it ain't Jay that breaks, it'll be you.

Or me. It's a matter of time.

Nine missed calls from Ben?

I know there's more to this Phil stuff than you're telling me.

Toast, you two?

If you haven't started your revision,

you can take Oscar to nursery for me, please.

Give me a chance!

Morning. All right, Cora.

Lovely to see you, must be, what, 12 hours since I saw you last.

No, ten.

DOORBELL RINGS

Will you get that, please, Abs?

One more piece, please.

You been crying?

Hay fever.

Join the club. Here. This'll knock it for six.

Go on.

Go on.

-Morning, Brannings.

-Hey, Del.

Hello, Derek.

I need a favour.

You going out?

Morning, Mandy. How are you today?

Any thoughts on the Middle East?

-Where you going?

-Shopping.

-What for?

-Food, Ian. All right?

Have fun, yeah.

You'll hear the screams of laughter from here.

Thought you had something to ask your brother.

DOORBELL RINGS

Would you get the door for me, please, darling?

-Excuse me?

-Go on, Abs. Please.

That'll be your Uncle Jack, I've asked him to pop round.

You paying the rent on this place now? I thought this was our house.

I got something to tell you all.

Hello.

Urgh, you stink!

I'm sorry about that but I weren't allowed to have a shower.

What's happening?

Look at this, eh?

Tender.

All the family. Together.

Round the table, toast...

Oh, please.

I was wondering, how about extending that warmth to my Alice?

-I'm not with you.

-Who's Alice?

She's my daughter.

Hang on. Does this one really actually exist?

Yes, Jack. She does. And she always has.

You kept her quiet.

So this is your daughter with Joey's mum?

Yeah, with Joey's mum. You know what she can be like.

Well, anyway...anyway, Alice is an adult now and recently we've...

-well, we've regained contact.

-You must be well pleased.

-Thank you.

-Bet she ain't.

So I was wondering... I was hoping...

that we might have a little get-together? You know, eh?

Few sandwiches, nibbles. Dot'd love it, wouldn't she?

And we could have it here, you know? She could get to meet her cousins...

Why?

Because they're her cousins.

No, I mean why have it here?

He's trying to get to know his daughter.

-Why don't you have it at yours?

-Yeah, sorry.

You'll have to. I got enough on my hands without a party.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Abs, get that, please.

What am I, a professional door answerer?

I see.

So, right, you won't countenance a little tea party for Alice,

but you'll have a randy teenager sleeping feet away

from your underage daughter?

What you talking about? He knows the score, don't you, Jay?

Jay!

Very respectful.

Well, whatever goes on in this house, I'm in control of.

-Oh, really?

-This party. It's fine, mate.

-Yeah?

-Least I can do.

Least YOU can do?!

-Shouldn't you be in Portugal anyway?

-Just let me talk to him, will ya?

Your dad was like an animal the other day.

Yeah, well, now he's like a drunken animal.

Tell Jay that Dad's slaughtered, talking all sorts of mad stuff.

Well, Jay's definitely staying here, then!

-Why can't you just keep out of it?

-Because I'm his girlfriend.

And I will find out what's happened, cos Jay tells me everything.

You don't know nothing.

Yeah, well, I do know about alcohol.

When Lauren's drunk, she's the vilest person ever.

Screaming, calling us disgusting names.

Then the next day, it's like, "That was the drink talking."

But my mum says alcohol makes even the best liars tell the truth.

Ben!

How about a nice toasted teacake dripping in salty butter?

Don't want to start packing a paunch, do we, Stingray?

Just the two for me, thanks, Jean.

Ray?

Morgan used to love teacakes.

He picks out the raisin and pretends they're dead flies.

Oi oi! How's the fittest chef since that Gino Dicampy?

Jean. I'm fine.

-Yeah! But you've still got, er...um...

-Sasha.

Yeah! Sasha.

You can't swap one for the other, like chips for mashed potatoes.

Oh.

Well, we should do something later, take your mind off him.

Like a bike ride? Or, um, art gallery?

You in an art gallery? Pff! You on a bike for that matter.

I said I might meet one of my old army mates later.

Why d'you want to hang out with a load of old squaddies

talking about the Falklands and... tanks and...bombs?

Cos they were the best days of my life.

Who does that man think he is?

Coming in this house, dictating what goes on?

Chill out.

It might actually be interesting meeting his long-lost daughter.

-Wonder what she looks like.

-Pitbull with a ponytail?

SHE LAUGHS

I dunno why you're so screwed about this party.

What could be more hilarious than watching Derek

getting all the cupcakes out and claiming to be dad of the year?

-Mm. S'pose.

-Just sit back and watch him make a clown of himself.

You are evil.

SHE GIGGLES

But I like it. All right then.

Let's do it, shall we? We'll need a cake.

Have to ask Dot if she minds. And balloons maybe.

I'll get you a nice bacon roll, Dad, soak some of this up?

Good little Ben.

What would they say? If they knew...

What would she say? If Shirley knew...

Thought only celebrities had stalkers.

Oh. I didn't want to ring you at work,

in case I got you in trouble,

and, besides, you haven't given me your number, have you?

I just wanted to check that you're still all right for later?

My brother, that's your Uncle Max, and his missus,

they're going to have a little do at theirs.

It's all right, Alice. You couldn't meet a friendlier bunch.

You're going to love 'em.

I'm looking forward to it.

That's wonderful! Yeah?

Yeah.

Right. Oh, you're going to need the...

I've put it here somewhere... the address.

Thanks.

It's just over in Albert Square.

Thanks. You're not allergic to anything, are you?

Cos I wouldn't want your mother to think I've half-killed you

on our first get-together.

That's a little joke.

THEY LAUGH

Why don't you come with me? The fresh air might help.

I'm allergic to trees, ain't I?

Is this because you're hiding from Phil? Ben was here earlier.

-What'd he want?

-For you to go home.

-What about Portugal?

-They're not going now.

He just said his dad's drunk and acting crazy

and that he wanted to speak to you.

HE SIGHS

Don't worry, I told him you were staying here.

You know, we can get through anything

as long as we're honest with each other.

OK?

You're safe here, Jay.

All right, it's only me.

I'm glad Abi's left you on your own for five minutes, though,

to be honest.

Oh, good. I'll go back to work if you're here.

I ain't come to butter bread.

Didn't get many GCSEs, did you?

Look, Max, if this is about Abi,

I really want her to do well in her exams.

That's really good, cos so do I.

I'm just a bit worried, Jay.

Just Abi don't want to put her head in a book

when she's got you distracting her, does she?

With your fascinating chit chat about monkey wrenches

and who's beating who on the X-box.

I would never disrespect your rules. I just can't go home.

Listen, I've been thinking.

Why don't we ask Dot if you can go and stay there for a while?

Dot?

Yeah. To be honest, mate, she could do with the company.

Jay, she's all over the place. Losing Heather, it's hit her hard.

Thanks, but, you know, I've got a mate I can stay with,

so I'll just call him.

-You sure?

-Yeah.

Lovely. All right. There's no rush.

What shall we say, end of the week, yeah? Good lad.

Benjamin! Now, you're a young man of the world.

That is to say, you've seen things I never will.

Tell me what you think of this?

Hummus.

-I'm in a bit of a rush.

-Oh.

Would this have anything to do with your old man,

this rush that you're in?

Only my brother Max tells me that he was round his place the other day,

creating merry hell.

Got you well trained, ain't he? When in doubt, keep shtoom.

But you see, Benjamin,

it's only when people start blabbing that all hell breaks loose.

You haven't told me what you think of me dip!

I thought you was supposed to be in Portugal.

Yeah, well, change of plans. Two bacon rolls, please.

Does that a lot, Phil. Changes his mind.

How did you used to stop him drinking?

SHE LAUGHS

Ain't that a surprise?

An illness, ain't it? Addiction.

He's the illness.

Today's the first day I got up and didn't wish I was dead an' all.

In fact, it's the first day in ages I've bothered getting up and out

because I realised that your dad was 100 miles away.

Now I know he's not, I wish I was dead again.

He'll be fine. You both will.

Got each other, haven't you?

Oh, Cora, I got some lovely bits down at the market.

How's it been going?

Oh, look at that!

Oh, you two, you're heaven sent, you really are!

-Hello?

-And you, come here, come here.

-Here, tell me what think of this? Look.

-What is it?

-Hummus.

-Hummus? What's that?

-Mashed up chick peas.

-Where's Tanya?

Gone back to work.

These modern women, eh, Dorothy?

Has Alice not got a job?

Well, she hasn't got an husband and kids.

Far as you know.

HE GIGGLES

What you laughing at? You shouldn't even be here. Go on, scarper.

Before my girl gets here.

Yeah, all right. I'm going.

-Tea anyone?

-Oh! The booze.

I was supposed to get the booze. What do young girls drink today?

If they're like my Lauren,

anything from cod liver oil to bathwater.

Cora!

Yeah, well, my Alice ain't like that.

Oi! stop.

What? It's only a little bit.

No, I don't think so.

It's a shop, ain't it?

I've got money.

Just give me the drink, you stupid woman! Give me it.

Oh, no, no, no, you don't!

You take your money and you buy some manners, all right!

Now go on. Go.

I said go!

Oh. Ow!

Phil, you all right?

Phil, take it easy, yeah.

I said this would happen, didn't I?

Couple weeks without me propping you up and here you are,

crawling in the gutter, looking for your next bottle of Scotch.

I've gotta show you something. Come here.

I've got a verruca.

-Don't you think that's disgusting?

-I think you're drunk.

SHE LAUGHS

I didn't want to tell you, Abs...

..but you said we have to be honest with each other.

Have you got any secrets?

Yeah.

My boyfriend's got a verruca.

I've got secrets.

Well, if they're all like that one, you can keep 'em to yourself.

DOOR CLOSES

How are you?

Yeah, smashing.

Thought you were going food shopping.

I'm going to do it online.

I got to the supermarket, and there was a brat,

screaming for milkshake so I just walked right on by...

I checked the cupboards. I didn't think we needed any food.

Ian, you wild man, it's like living with Frankie Cocozza.

So where you been?

I just walked straight past the supermarket and into the precinct.

You don't normally come back from there without any bags.

Nice, eh?

Spent all this time shopping for earrings?

I know where you've been. You've been with Phil. Phil Mitchell.

SHE LAUGHS

D'you know what, Ian? I'll come back when the comedy act's over.

Course I don't mind, sweetheart, as long as it puts a smile on his face.

He's going to be smiling all over. Look at this. Look, look, look.

-No!

-Now, you definitely heard him cancel this army dude

-and he's coming round to mine, yeah?

-Yes, darling! Yes, yes.

-And, Jeanie, you don't mind covering?

-I said yes, didn't I?

How you're going to cheer Ray up, I can't imagine.

Give me half an hour.

HAMMERING ON DOOR

Dad! Dad!

Lock me in, would you? Eh? Lock me in like a little boy?

No, no, I was only trying to help.

Bit late for that, innit? Eh?

Give me the keys.

Give me the keys now!

If you carry on like this, if you keep on drinking,

it's going to come out. Is that what you want?

Maybe I should tell Shirley.

Maybe she needs to know.

-You can't.

-It's destroying her, thinking that someone's out there

and they got away with it.

Someone's out there laughing while Heather's...

Dad, it's not your fault.

You know what?

You might've have killed Heather, but I covered up for you, didn't I?

I'm the one that lied.

I lied to Shirley, I'm the one that let her find her...

But you're right.

It's not my fault.

It's yours.

You said you blamed yourself.

Well, I was wrong.

What, d'you think I'm enjoying this? Eh?

You think I'm having a great time while everybody else is suffering?

And what about me? Eh?

It's your fault that I've lost Shirley.

I've ruined that woman's life. She's finished.

And so am I.

Dad, I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry.

Can't really remember your mum, can you, Ben?

Bits.

What was she like as a mum? If you can remember.

-The best.

-How?

She was always laughing and...

she was always kind.

She'd give me a hug and I'd forget everything.

Your sweet, kind, funny mum.

Yeah. You're right, Kathy was all those things, she was special.

I know.

When I said I wished you'd died in that crash,

I didn't mean it.

Cos sometimes...

..sometimes I wish you'd never been born at all.

Blood...blood thicker than water?

That terrified Kathy. Know why?

Cos it meant you'd turn out just like me.

She loved you!

Not by the end. By the end, she hated me.

Looking at you...

looking at you, she must be turning in her grave.

The things I've done...

It's all been me trying to be like you! I'm not evil!

Like me? You're nothing like me.

You're worse.

The worst.

Just go.

HE HUMS TO HIMSELF

Shirl. Shirl, where you going? Let's go somewhere?

Talk, yeah?

Talk? After what I've just heard? No. You know, you're right.

You're right. We'll go and talk. We'll go to my place. And talk.

No, let's go to my place. I mean, our place.

It hasn't been our place since you chucked me out.

So it's Hev's or nothing. And get your hands off me!

Everything all right here?

-Depends on what you mean by all right.

-All right, Shirl,

I'll come to your place. Whatever you want, eh?

Eh, Shirl...

Just another lying, weak man, Officer. Why do we do it, eh?

Well, take it indoors, will you?

Yeah, I'll take it indoors.

Looks like we're going to have that talk after all.

How many bottles can I get for 200? Lovely!

Yeah, well, what lady doesn't love champagne, eh?

See you in five minutes.

HE HUMS CHEERFULLY

MUSIC: "War (What Is It Good For?)" by Edwin Starr

# Yeah! What is it good for?

# Absolutely nothing.

# Oh! Yeah!

# Absolutely... #

BUZZER RINGS

Well, I hope you're standing to attention, Mr Ray...

Morning.

Derek Branning? How nice of you to greet us on the doorstep.

DS Bourne. I believe you've seen one of these before, sir.

Stolen booze.

-All right?

-Yeah, you?

-Darling, you all right?

-How are you?

Good, good. Look at them.

Last time I saw one of them must have been Lauren's christening, Tan.

Don't look at me, this is all their work.

Isn't it lovely? All of us being together.

Worth skipping work for?

I only work mornings.

Here, I say, I hope Alice is partial to humorous.

HE LAUGHS

Humorous! Where is Derek? He's getting the booze, ain't he?

Probably got cold feet and legged it, ain't he?

-What's the matter with you?

-He'll be here.

Give it a rest, will you, Tan? Please.

And you, you stay away from all that.

Thought you were going to keep an eye on her?

I can't believe you just said that!

What? She stands next to a beer can and suddenly I'm a bad mother?

It's important to Derek that it all goes well today.

Listen to your old man.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Abi, go and get the door.

Are you going to apologise?

-Are you serious?

-I am. Go on. It's going to be Derek, ain't it?

Sorry, you think my family's going to show him up, of all people?

Look around, we've got one daughter

who's moping over a half-cut hood-rat

and one who thinks a good night's downing a load of vodka

-and choking on her own vomit.

-What?

Hi. I'm Alice.

You muppet, you're not supposed to mix that stuff with lager.

You know that cos you're going to be a vet. My good girl.

She's going to go and get great exam results and she's going to be a vet.

Me and the good girl are going to have a big house

and going to live far away.

California?

And we're going to have a garden

and a hot tub and them pots with the mini trees.

< Abi!

And a house pig?

Whatever my Abs wants. You want a house pig, babe?

Yeah, you're definitely crazy.

< Abs, come on, darling.

Won't happen, though.

It won't happen.

Cos I'm not good enough, am I?

Prince Harry's not good enough according to my dad.

I'm bad.

I'll get you some water...

But we didn't mean it.

< Abi, sweetheart.

-I'll be one minute!

-Didn't mean to kill her.

I'm sorry...

..about Hev.

Really?

You and Ben.

I heard everything.

Ian, I've gotta tell you the truth, before they start coming after me.

It's like a burning feeling inside, it's like I can't breathe...

-The truth about what?

-Dad... I just saw Dad. Dad and...

going off with her and... Together, both of them...

-I know.

-But, but...

-Ben, it's all right. It's not your fault.

No, it is. All right? Dad said I'm all twisted and I'm ruined inside...

What, like him?

No, worse.

But you know the real me, don't you, Ian? Eh?

Like Mum did?

Ben, how can she do this to me?

After everything, after Cindy, after Mel...

I blame your dad.

This is his fault. He must have forced his hands on Mandy...

Mandy? I dunno...

Mandy?!

Is that why you think I'm here?

All right. So why are you here in this state, then?

Come on, Ben. The truth.

Look, this is me, OK? I know you. Truth.

I killed Heather.

How messed up are you?

What kind of twisted man are you?

You killed Heather?

Yeah.

SOBBING

Oh, my God.

Ben...

These constant lies...

D'you know how sick you are?

Yeah, you, Phil.

Bringing up his dead mother like that. I heard you.

Bladdered. Bullying him. Your own boy. Your own son.

You heard me bawling Ben out. Is that it?

I heard how you think you can talk to him like that.

How you think you can talk to everybody, don't you?

Well, I've heard quite enough.

I am not - NOT - listening to this.

Do you understand me, Ben?

I mean, every time you fall out with your father,

every attention-seeking drama

is getting more and more ridiculous than the last one.

And these lies, right?

These constant lies!

You have got to stop making up these stupid, outrageous stories.

I mean, you could get yourself into so much trouble.

What if someone believes you?

(It was an accident.)

It was an accident.

It was an accident, it was an accident,

it was an accident, Ian!

Help me. Please.

Ian. Ian, Ian!

I don't know what to do. I can't understand a word he's saying.

She looks quite sweet.

-I'm sure your dad'll be here soon.

-That's Uncle Jack, the ex-cop.

What's Jay doing getting hammered in the afternoon anyway?

I never touch alcohol neither. Except for medicinal purposes.

One beer. He's had one beer, Mum. He's having some sort of breakdown.

-My sister, the drama queen.

-No, Lauren!

Would you like a piece of sponge?

It's brought it all back, actually.

All the stuff to do with his dad's murder.

Abi, go and put the kettle on, please?

-No, Dad!

-Or there is Battenberg.

My granddad's second wife. She's really good with a cake mix.

I want to sort out my boyfriend.

-It's not that we don't care, darling...

-He's crying, Mum.

Muttering about Heather and her getting killed or something.

I don't know, because I can't understand him.

-Is he feeling sick?

-Yeah!

-Oh, well done, Mum(!)

-What?

-You've given him your special remedy.

-Pardon?

-Hay fever.

-My Nan, the local drug pusher.

She's a martyr to her sinuses.

I am filling your niece in on her history. Both sides.

Cora, are you still brewing that hay fever potion?

It's liquid antihistamine, Max.

You can't drink alcohol with it. Not even one beer.

Abi, how many times have I told you to read the label, eh?

Go and take Jay upstairs, have him lie down on our bed.

Oi! What do you mean, our bed?

-And take him a bucket.

-Abi, he sleeps alone, all right?

-Oh, you really think I want to have sex in my own parents' bed?!

-Abi!

Max!

Would you like a jam tart?

So, do you want another drink, Alice?

Cup of tea? Coffee?

Vodka? Valium? Nice little hay fever remedy?

So, Alice. In your own time.

Why don't you tell us something about yourself?

Listen, Ray. Look just give me two minutes, yeah?

Two minutes, OK?

Come on, eh?

She's my daughter. My long-lost daughter, eh?

On account of her mother being a very bitter woman.

And she's finally tracked me down. And we're having a party.

A very significant and important family party.

-If you need to check the warrant, sir...

-Yes, I can see the warrant!

Illegal booze. You've had a tip-off.

And, I might add, undoubtedly a malicious

and unfounded tip off at that.

You can write that down in your little book for a start off!

Oh, look at the state of...!

Look, it's my daughter, eh? My only daughter.

And at this very minute, she's across the Square

in a household full of strangers, waiting for me.

I mean, haven't you got a family?

Yeah? Someone that you can't afford to let down?

Please, I've got to get to that party.

Understood.

Ah, thank you. At last.

It's good.

The moment my officers have finished their search,

you'll be free to leave, Mr Branning.

Now, why don't we put the kettle on?

Oh, go on. Have a drink, will you?

-Probably the only reason you bothered coming.

-Don't lecture me.

What happened? Did your crack pipe run out?

Or did Tanya run out of sisters for you to have a go at?

I don't want a drink!

Four weeks.

What?

Four miserable little weeks and you chucked me out.

I never chucked you.

Here.

Her last breath. In here.

And then four weeks later,

I'm in here, burying my head in her pillow. My best mate!

Shirl...

Got a bit boring, did I?

Me and my stupid broken heart!

Didn't get over it quick enough.

Didn't pay you enough attention. You self-obsessed, ugly, little man!

It's not... You just don't understand!

You're the one that needs a drink.

You're the one with the weight of the world

and the right to rip his own son apart!

All I wanted was you.

I would have done anything.

Everything. I just wanted you.

You do not understand.

Yes.

I do.

We both do.

Part of the deal, weren't it?

Second choice.

Second best.

You never gave me a thought.

And I put my lipstick on and I kept the bed warm.

No.

No.

No, Phil.

Not any more. Not again.

Why are we even bothering, eh?

Standing on ceremony.

Pretending to be civilised.

It's not how it looks.

I hope you'll be very happy together.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You're all right. It's all right.

She was waiting her whole life for someone like Andrew.

She told me that in the chippie.

In her stupid headband.

It's that beer, Jay. It's Nan's meds.

You're the one, Abs. I've found you and I ain't ever...

Don't ever leave me. Please?

So, you've answered the door

in your luminous bra

and your Private Benjamin number!

-Not funny, Dee.

-Anyway, he's stood there

with the daughter and a bag...

SHE LAUGHS

A bag with a game of Scrabble in it?

You are not taking this seriously, you know.

And then you, you've told her... You tell Sasha

that you're joining the...?

The Territorial Army.

Yeah! Yeah.

And then you tell him you're going to borrow a bigger dictionary

and then you spend the next however long in the chocolate aisle

freezing your crackers off with your little knickers on!

I feel sick.

And this is my surprised face.

She looks down her nose at me, you know. That Sasha,

She's one of those school girls that's got badges, innit?

I bet you she's never once forgotten her pencil case.

Oh! How can I go back there? They're still there, innit?

I can't even spell.

You want me to call him?

-Oh, yeah. Please?

-No.

-Oh, please, Dee!

-No!

No way, Kim!

I am not going to lie to Ray for you.

Please?

Yeah, Ray. Kim, she's er...

She's fallen over and broken her neck.

Oh, sorry! That's what I'm going to do to her later. No, she's...

She's, er...

Sorry, she's working a shift at the Vic.

Yeah. And there's been...

a sudden...Darts! Darts match,

and Jean, she's run off her feet, apparently. Yeah.

Anyway, Kim says she's sorry

for being such a monumental pain in the backside,

but she'll call you later.

Yeah. Explain for herself.

Officer.

What is this, eh?

What's all that?

-Dee, I love you. I really love you!

-Get off me, you freak.

I can't remember.

I don't know what's happened and what I've dreamed.

I mean, I knew I was going to be scared.

Dad had got out and I knew what that meant.

I just thought...

I didn't know it was you, Ian.

I thought Hev went to the Old Bill and told them that I'd...

I'd lied to get him sent down.

He could've killed me.

My dad could've killed me.

My dad could've actually killed me this time.

You know, she was just there.

You know, trying to calm me down like I was a little kid.

Saying, "Don't worry, don't worry. Your dad will understand."

She was just there.

Even when you didn't want her to be.

Even when it was nothing...

It was nothing to do with her!

No.

Even when there was no-one else in the whole world.

Baking and...

..stupid Bugsy Malone!

I didn't...

It wasn't my fault.

I'm not lying.

It was an accident.

I didn't mean to hit out.

Ian, she was my friend!

I killed...

She was my friend!

She warned me.

-Hev did?

-Years back.

Me and you had just got together

and I think I forgot

your birthday or something.

She was scared of you.

She told me off.

She said that if I took you for granted,

one day I'd wake up on my own.

Wise woman, Heather Trott.

Two Babychams in,

leaning across the bar of the Vic, she goes,

I should've known better than to cheat a friend.

And waste the chance that I'd been given.

She was singing.

And I...

I told her to do one.

Don't, Phil.

I love you.

I said stop it.

Not about need, not about falling apart.

Not about the boys...

And you're not second best.

I don't know how you've done it,

I don't know how you've worn me down.

But I can't help it. I love you.

Come home, Shirl.

Please?

Heather's not here any more.

Please?

Every time I try and claw myself back up,

something happens.

What have I ever done?

-Ian, I'm sorry. It's my problem.

-I've just done my best, all right?

My very best!

What do you want, Ben? Do you want blood?

I mean, is that it? Sweat? Tears?

-Tears, do they make you feel important? Is that it?

-Ian.

"She was just there."

Do you know what? I have spent more time worrying about you

than I ever have done with Peter.

She was in her home.

You stupid, ignorant little moron!

I thought you understood.

What was the problem? Was she breathing too heavily or something?

Did she not put enough sugar in your tea?

Heather gave you good, kind words and you caved her head in?!

-It was an accident!

-No, Ben. That's not a accident.

An accident is when you break a window.

You took Heather Trott's life and it is all your fault.

-I know what I've done!

-No.

No, there is still no idea.

Cos all you've come out with is excuses and lies

and clever words to weasel your way out of this.

Because it's in your blood. It is who...you...are!

-Back off, Ian!

-No, Ben. It's who you are, OK?

You are Ben MITCHELL.

Mitchell! MITCHELL!

Dad's told the police!

Then why are you bothering me?

You know what you've got to do.

Ray, hi! Should have just told him earlier.

-You two!

-I thought she was on exercises.

Listen, Trace told me there is no darts match today.

-No?

-No.

-Oh, downer.

-OK.

-No, no, no!

-It's cool.

Obviously when it comes down to it, you're not interested.

No! No, I am.

I'm really interested.

It's just, look.

I've got chocolate body paint and everything at home, yeah?

I'm interested in you,

but I...I just don't do kids.

Look, I can't hack your kid, yeah?

Oh, come on! That's a bit over the top, innit?

We'll get back to normal.

Better than normal.

Where are the boys?

The place is a bit of a mess.

You go upstairs, have a bath.

-I'll have a quick tidy round, yeah?

-You want to be careful, Phil.

You've already used the L word twice in one day.

All this new man stuff, you'll give yourself a heart attack.

Here.

Go put the kettle on.

And empty the bin. This place stinks like armpits!

Old school.

That's one of the things I like about her father.

Who gave her the corkscrew?

No, he's a good brother. He's a bit over-protective sometimes.

-Yeah, where is Carol?

-He's always there when you need him.

Apart from now, obviously.

-Still voicemail.

-He'll turn up, young lady.

Your father's a bit of charm, a bit of rough.

You should be proud.

Very appealing gentleman.

Right. Coffee anyone? Black coffee, Mum? Couple of paracetamol?

A person don't have to be hammered to give a compliment.

And you shouldn't judge a book

by your own standards.

Yes, your father is a very kind and thoughtful man.

There's been some terrible things happening round here recently,

dreadful things. But he is always so charming, such a gentlemen.

With a nice suit and a white shirt

and that's always such a comfort, isn't it?

-You didn't say anything.

-Sorry?

It's just they're all saying nice things about my dad, but you didn't.

Oh!

No.

Why?

You see, Officer?

You shouldn't always believe what you're told.

Sometimes it's just malicious slander.

Let's call it a day.

Sure I can't offer you a refill? Spot of dinner? No?

Well, apology accepted.

You know where the door is, don't you?

-Truth, Phil.

-Oh, yeah.

Like I'd ever grass up my own son to the Old Bill?

It always comes out. It always catches up with you in the end.

-It's already haunting him.

-Oh, pick up your bleeding heart, Ian.

What were you thinking?

Have you heard his stories about the last time he was inside?

He stopped her from breathing. You know what that's like.

What is that like? Heather Trott, lying on her own kitchen floor.

A young kid has lost his mum. I mean, he knows what that's like.

And you think it'll bring her back, do you? Eh?

If he gets banged up? You think the truth goes away when you're inside?

You think that ruining his whole future

is what Heather would have wanted?

What Heather would have wanted is to be alive.

To have a life with Andrew Cotton,

to watch her little boy play football,

to work in the launderette, to eat cheese sandwiches.

That's what she would've wanted. She had a right. Right and wrong.

Oh, yeah. Says the man who walked away from me

when I was having a heart attack.

Who's driven away more wives than I've had hot dinners.

Who fakes cancer to get a bird to marry him!

Well, I'm not proud of myself, OK?

And you know what?

When I look back on my life, it is a catalogue of mistakes and failures

and missed opportunities. Me and Heather Trott, we're just like

two of life's great losers.

-What is wrong with you?

-She deserves justice, OK?

You can't just sweep this under the carpet, Phil.

You're not a judge and she deserves a jury.

If he puts his hands up for this, if he goes inside...

I can't help him, Ian. He's one his own.

You can't let him get away with murder!

You can't let him!

Phil.

If you do that, you are on your own with this one

and I will just wash my hands of him. He's not my brother any more.

-Ben?

-Ben, where you going?

Just shut up! Just shut up, both of you!

BEN STRUGGLES FOR BREATH

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Hello?

What? Why?

No, Max. Max, no.

You've got to keep her there. I'm on my way.

Alice!

Please! Please, don't go. Alice, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I got held up.

Please don't go. Let me explain.

Alice, please. Please don't go now. Don't go now!

Alice! Alice!

I found these practically walking down the stairs on their own.

Not been holding it together, have you?

You all right, Ben?

He's not baked a decent cake in weeks, have you, Ben?

No.

Nothing else?

-Breakfast.

-I'm back, but I'm not a skivvy.

No, I've made some for all of us.

You carry on like this, Phil, I'm seriously going to think there's something wrong.

Wish me luck?

Sorry.

Forgot.

You have more important stuff on your mind than my exams.

I need you to look after Bobby for an hour or so.

He's got the dentist.

Didn't you hear me?

Didn't you hear me?!

-Or does it not matter what I say?

-Ian!

Oh, just ignore me, is that it?

I can sort Bobby, it's fine...

YOU look after Bobby! And do it now!

Told you it'd be all right.

Yeah, only cos you ain't let her speak.

Just gone on and on about rubbish.

I told her Jay was spending a couple of nights at Abi's.

I don't want her charging round there to find out what's wrong.

What are we going to do about Ian?

Nothing.

We can't just leave him. You heard what he said.

Just leave it to me. You've done enough damage already.

I thought Shirley knew. I thought she'd heard us. Then once I saw that copper...

Yeah, I know. you thought, "I know what I'll do, I'll make it ten times worse

-"and tell Ian all about it."

-That wasn't my fault.

-He forced it out of you, did he?

Held you down, put the thumbscrews on you?

Look, Dad, you're always impossible to talk to.

You scared me, and all.

OK, son, OK.

Just leave this to me.

Yeah, but she was still in Hev's old flat yesterday.

-Yeah, well she ain't now.

-But I couldn't even get her out of the place on Friday,

not even for a coffee. And Phil was on one.

Yeah, well I saw her first thing this morning moving her stuff back into Phil's.

You know what they remind me of, Phil and Shirley? They remind me of... What's that couple that begin with B?

-What, Burke and Hare?

-No, no!

-What?

-I mean Burton and Taylor.

-Oh!

-Can't live together, can't live apart.

-Yes.

-You all right, darling?

I'm off to Charlie's.

All right, sweetheart.

Give Kat your love, shall I?

Yes, of course give Kat my love, and Tommy. It goes without saying, don't it?

-Course I will.

-Right.

Jean... Sorry, sweetheart,

best not to mention to Kat about Roxy staying here -

not that she'd have a problem with it or anything.

It's just that... Well, she's got a lot on her plate

and I don't want to give her anything else to worry about, you know?

But there isn't.

No, exactly. No.

Listen, you have a safe journey, OK?

FRONT DOOR OPENS

Brought you some breakfast.

-Michael!

-Extra bacon on yours...

-No, please, out.

-What's...?

-I'm trying on my dress!

-So?

So it's bad luck for you to see it before the wedding.

-Not superstitious, are you?

-I'm going to need all the luck I can get, marrying you.

And I've already had bad news today as well.

What was that?

Ricky's just called, and he doesn't know if he can get the time off.

So he doesn't know if he's coming.

Brilliant wedding this is turning out to be. My brother's going to be a no-show,

and now you've nearly seen my dress. This wedding is jinxed!

DOOR SLAMS

You on your own?

Now, let's get this straight.

You had your chance. Ben's made his decision. End of story.

A woman's dead, Phil.

Yeah, and Ben's in pieces.

There's nothing we can do about the first thing, not now,

but there's something we can do about him.

Who is he? I mean, how could he...?

What have you turned him into?

-Shirley's back now.

-What?

-Well, that'll help, won't it?

-She's Heather's best mate.

What ain't going to help is you.

So we've all got to pretend like everything's normal? How can we?

Listen, I'm going to make this nice and simple, so even you can understand it, all right?

Now, you go after Ben, I'll come after you.

If he goes down, I take you down too.

He's already down.

Right, I'm a girl, OK?

A girl who has an exam in three hours.

I should be revising, not babysitting.

Where's your dad?

He wanted me to look after him. Said he had something to do.

-What?

-I don't know.

Well, I can look after him if you want.

I mean, I ain't got no exams.

-He wasn't too keen on Mandy's offer.

-Well, I'm not Mandy.

No, you're right. You're much better looking.

Yeah. Yeah, OK. He's not going to object to you, is he?

So what happened? Did he woo you, yeah? With champagne and red roses and all that?

-No, it was him serenading me on the pavement that clinched it!

-Oh!

BOTH LAUGH

I'm glad you're home. I am.

You know, you in that flat, with all Heather's stuff around.

She'll always be with you, you know that. In your heart.

Where it matters.

Ooh. He's really got the hump with you, hasn't he?

No.

So why did he just freeze you out?

He didn't.

Kim, that was Arctic. What exactly did you say to him yesterday?

I told you - nothing.

-Much.

-I don't know why you just don't tell him the truth.

You planned a sexy afternoon in for the pair of you,

and he turned up with Sasha.

Kim, he'd probably just have a laugh about it.

I did tell him the truth.

He didn't find it too funny.

Kim.

I need something from you.

If it's a service wash you're wanting, you'll have to wait,

cos I'm all behind.

Are you OK?

It don't get any easier, Ian.

Every time I come in here, I still see her,

mixing up her coloureds and her whites

and cutting up her cheese.

Shirl! Shirl, listen.

-You sure about this?

-No.

No. There's only one way to find out, isn't there?

I'm sorry, Ian.

I know that thinking about her all the time ain't going to change nothing,

nor bring her back, neither.

Anyway, what did you come in for? Cos you didn't bring no washing with you.

Admire me view, was it? Wear me flooring out?

What if you could?

Could what?

Change things.

Change what, Ian?

Ian! What you talking about?

Change what?

What are you doing?

-Ben's getting me a milkshake.

-No, you get away from him!

-Ian!

-Get away!

-Ian?

-Just get away from him! Come on, we're going.

-Dad. Dad!

I'm sorry, you actually said that?

You actually told him that you weren't stepmother material?

No. I told him I couldn't hack his kid.

But it didn't come out the way that I wanted it to.

Look, Kim, Ray has got baggage, OK?

But you're going to have to accept that if you want to keep seeing him.

After all the lowlifes that you've been dating,

you don't want to let someone halfway-decent slip through your fingers.

Yeah, but then there's baggage and then there's baggage, innit?

An ex-wife - who cares? Some ex-girlfriend who won't let go?

I can deal with that. But...

What?

What, a 13-year-old kid is too hot to handle?

What is actually wrong with you?

You weren't this bothered about Morgan.

Yeah, but she's not 13, is she? She's like 23 going on 33.

-And she knows everything about everything.

-Ah, I get it.

You're scared.

-Uh-uh.

-Yeah, you're scared that she's going to make you look thick.

-Course not.

Then Ray's going to have second thoughts about the two of you.

Which he's obviously having, anyway.

-Bye.

-I've just phoned Ricky.

I've never heard of him.

I've told him he's coming, no excuses,

I'll even pay his wages if I have to.

Ricky is not our only problem. I've just spoken to Carol.

She doesn't know if the kids can get here till the day itself.

Some problem with the tickets, engineering work, or,

I don't know, something or other. I mean, can you imagine it?

The bridesmaids and the page boy, no rehearsals,

arriving on the day and just winging it. It's a total nightmare!

SHE SIGHS

What is it, Ian?

What was all that stuff with Lucy?

And screaming at poor little Bobby like that?

I mean, he's upstairs, he's sobbing...sobbing his little eyes out.

He doesn't understand.

And yesterday, Ian, all that stuff about me and Phil.

Ian, please.

Come on, now. You're really starting to worry me here.

FRONT DOOR RATTLING

Hello? Can I come in? It's me, Dot.

Would you like some cake?

It's left over from yesterday, so it's fresh.

It's from that party what the Brannings gave for Alice.

You know, Derek's daughter? All ended sooner than they thought.

Yeah, thanks, Dot. I'll get some plates, shall I?

Lovely, ta. Here we go.

Now...have some of me sponge.

Bit of Battenberg and a couple of iced tarts.

CHEERFUL SHOUTING FROM TELEVISION

'Woo!

'Yeah! Yeah!'

Hev's hen night. Got the DVD off of Kim.

I've not been able to watch it since she...

'Woo!

'Whoa!

-'Come on, Hev.

-Yeah, yeah!'

Just five minutes, eh?

Five minutes remembering how she was.

'Oh, yeah!

'I love you more!

'I love you more! Woo!

'I'm going to do a wee-wee-wee-wee-wee.'

-'You're going to do a what? Do a what?

-Wee-wee!'

ROXY CLEARS HER THROAT

-Oh, you all right, sweetheart?

-You all right?

-Mmm.

You been keeping away?

No, no, I've just been shopping, that's all.

-You know, I could always just move back, don't you?

-What?

Well, if...if me being here bothers you that much,

-then... It was only supposed to be for a couple of nights, anyway.

-HE SIGHS

Rox, Rox, Rox, what makes you think that, eh?

You reading Jean the riot act earlier.

Oh, Rox, come on, you know what Jean's like when she starts wagging her tongue.

I know you, OK? And...

Look, it was just one mate helping out another mate.

And all that stuff is ancient history, OK?

But if it makes you uncomfortable, then...

It don't. It doesn't.

And you said it yourself, you know, about Shirl moving back with Phil.

-What? So?

-Do you really want to sit there with Amy watching them two canoodle on the couch?

Exactly. Right, cup of tea?

-Yeah, yeah, go on.

-Right, I'll stick the kettle on.

Kim's made her feelings crystal clear.

No, she's done what she always does,

and that's to let her tongue run away with her.

Yeah, well, Sasha's a step too far, end of story.

Or a wake-up call.

Meaning?

You like Kim, yeah?

-Yeah.

-No, I mean, REALLY like her?

Yeah.

I want to try something.

-What?

-Trust me.

I didn't know she was going to do that.

She already had it on when I went in there.

Of course things are going to get a bit tricky now and again,

but give it time and let things settle down.

Ben, you've got to man up, you've got to front things out, whatever it is, you know.

It's the only way to get through this.

-But you will get through this, I promise you.

-And you promised you'd sort Ian out.

-What?

-You said leave him to you.

Why? What's happened? Ben?

I was getting Bobby a milkshake.

Lucy had an exam, and I said I'd look after him for her.

I just thought that if he saw us together, hanging out,

doing normal things, then he'd see...see that I'm not all bad.

But?

He went mental, didn't he?

I thought he was going to come straight out with it then and there. Tell everyone.

Now, look - Lou, Pauline, Pete.

All gone.

Yeah. But, I mean, there's plenty left, aren't there, Ian?

Lucy, Bobby, Ben.

I don't know what to do.

What about?

He can't do this to me.

Who?

I can't live like this!

What, Phil?

Ray's had to nip down the cash and carry.

And he's asked if you'll look after Sasha.

I still don't see why I can't just go home.

It's only going to be about half an hour or so, innit?

And Kim don't mind. Do you?

No.

Aw.

So how'd she take it?

Erm... Well.

Liar.

You've got brains.

And you're nice.

All right? All sorted. I'm so good.

-I've just been on the phone to a limo company.

-A what?

-A limo company.

-Liam, Morgan and...Tiffany?

-Mmm.

Yeah. Right, no more messing around with buses, trains,

-they're going to be picked up and delivered, day before the wedding.

-Tiffany in a limo.

-Yeah, all she needs now is a tiara.

-PHONE RINGS

Hang on, that's them now. Excuse me.

Yeah, about ten o'clock, please.

Yeah, cool. How much is that?

It's a company account.

Yeah, Branning Brothers.

Yeah, I'll call you with the details. Cheers, mate.

-What have you done to Ian?

-What?

He's in a terrible state.

It's nothing to do with me.

Well, it usually is.

It's probably down to that bird he's shacked up with.

I talked to Mandy

and she said that Ian has been going on about you and her.

What? Well, I don't know where he's got that from.

I won't do it.

I won't stand by and watch you treat Ian like you've treated poor Shirley.

Shirl's back.

What?

We're trying to make a go of it, you know,

trying to put it all behind us.

Shirl needs that too, you know - a good family, a proper home.

I mean, after what she's been through. Well, you'd understand that, Dot, wouldn't you?

Cos you lost a good friend and all, didn't you?

Yes.

So if I'm back with Shirley,

why would I go round chasing after someone else?

Dot, the only thing on my mind right now is looking after my family

and keeping them safe. But...

Well, if Ian's got some daft idea about me and Mandy in his head,

well, I'll go round there and see him and put him straight.

-Thank you.

-All right.

You all right there, madam?

This is your fault.

What? What's my fault?

This is your fault. I had to lie down now because I'm in shock.

Phil and Shirley canoodling on the sofa. It's disgusting - I can't get it out of my head.

That's can't be good for shock, though, sweetheart, just lying there. Surely not.

You know what you need? Something to bring you round.

A kind of a shock to get you out of a shock.

-Don't. Don't. Don't you dare, Alfie.

-Are you daring me now?

-I'm warning you.

-Not only is Peroxide daring me, she's also warning me!

-Put it down. Put it down.

-Say, "Please, Alfie."

-Put...it...

-I really don't want...

-What is she doing...?

-Mo!

Agh!

Mo!

I'm so sorry.

-So do you want to do anything?

-Such as?

Um... Watch something?

Daytime TV's for mindless idiots.

OK. Well, you can't do nothing all day.

I bet you and your dad never stop talking, do you?

Talking about various things, like current affairs and things, you know?

Like two little brainboxes.

Ms Kimberley Fox?

Of 18-20 Albert Square?

Oh. The B&B's closed.

Which is why you haven't been answering your letters, I suppose.

Look, we're going to open up next month, yeah?

Not with that sign out front, you're not.

Frank Hawkins, Walford Borough Council.

I take it this is your handiwork?

"Kim's Olympic Palace." What's the problem?

The problem is, "Olympic" is a trademark.

-What's that mean?

-Which you have stolen.

Hang on a minute, hang on. Look, I paid for that myself, yeah?

-It's all kosher.

-He means it's their intellectual property.

Oh. So why didn't he say so?

What's that mean?

It means you just can't put "Olympic" up anywhere you feel like.

Oh.

Are you telling me you didn't know?

Must be the only person in London who doesn't know.

And the rest of the country.

You could be fined thousands.

DRESS RIPS

Alfie, listen.

It's Mo's room,

it's only right that she has it back. It's OK. The sofa's fine.

I know it is, and that's where I'm going to be.

-I want you and Amy to have my bed, all right?

-You don't have to do that.

Roxy, I insist, darling.

-Alfie!

-Excuse me.

You still haven't told me what little Miss Muppet's doing here.

Do you want to keep your voice down?

-I'm just putting her up for a bit, that's all.

-A bit of what?

-Till she finds somewhere permanent. Anyway, what are you doing here?

-Jean.

-Jean?

-I kept asking her, "What's going on back in the Vic?"

"Oh, I'm not supposed to say," she said.

So I thought I'd come back and find out for meself.

What are you going to do?

Dad, you can't. Look, this is my fault, all right? All of it.

If anything happens to Ian, that'll be my fault and all, won't it?

HEV'S HEN PLAYS ON LAPTOP

'Yeah! Yeah!

'Woo-hoo!

-'Go on, girl!

-Oh, yeah!'

-Hi.

-Thanks for this, babe.

Yeah, thanks for this. I really enjoyed it.

I enjoyed it too.

And should you ever need any more help...

-What?

-Well, actually, Sasha's still off school tomorrow

because of the asbestos...

Oh, well, tomorrow it is, then.

-All right?

-Yeah.

FRONT DOOR SLAMS

This it, is it?

Lock the door, turn the music up so no-one can hear me scream?

We're on the same side, Ian -

on Ben's side, your brother's side.

I don't have a brother any more.