While Ian frantically tries to finalise his wedding plans, Lucy resolves to make her father see Mandy for who she really is, and Phil warns Ian not to tell anyone about Ben.
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# Hey, little sister
# What have you done?
# Hey, little sister Who's the only one... #
MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES
# It's a nice day for a white wedding... #
What on earth are you doing?
Practising for the wedding. Be careful of my record.
-You're not playing that at the wedding.
-Yeah. Billy Idol. Legend.
Ian, I'm not so sure, you know. It's meant to be a first dance.
I don't even think I'd know how to dance to that.
Not without a pole.
-And why is there a for sale sign outside the house?
Because the house is for sale? I did tell you.
-I didn't think you meant it.
-Well, now you know I do, OK?
The Registry Office had a cancellation for Friday.
The estate agent's lining up viewings. Things are coming together.
I'm in the middle of my exams. This is one of the most important times of my life.
Why are you doing this to me?!
Lucy, it's not all about you, OK?
It's about all of us. Me and Mandy'll be married Friday.
The estate agent will have sold the house,
we'll ALL be moving onto bigger and better things. OK?
I don't understand. What is the rush?
-What is so urgent that you have to jeopardise my future?
-There is no rush. OK?
There is no panic. Tell you what, it is like the great man said, OK?
Nice day to start again.
-I was not gawping, all right?
-If it's being flaunted...
It's not being flaunted, is it?
-While the Kat's away...
Michael, Kat's not away, is she?
She's not living it large in Marbella, tanning herself day after day, is she?
She's looking after her dad. Her sick dad.
-Listen to me. Could be worse, couldn't it?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where's the fire?
Up Mo's backside if she's not careful. She finished all the milk.
-Crying over spilt milk, eh?
-Do I look like I'm crying? I'm going to get more.
Babe, listen. Don't worry about it. Take some from the pub's store.
Can't have a young girl going hungry, can we?
-Sorry, I've got it.
-No, no, I'll get it.
-Jean, you've got a habit of sneaking up on people, darling.
I didn't mean to sneak. This came for you.
Jean, what you doing, sweetheart?
This is my personal credit card statement.
I know I opened it by mistake. I'm so sorry.
You've missed a payment, Alfie.
Yeah, don't worry about it. I'll take care of it.
You shouldn't miss payments, Alfie. The interest...
It was either this or the weekly shop. All right?
-Does Kat know?
-Kat's not here!
I'll take care of it. It'll be fine.
I was 13 when this came out in 1982.
D'you know what, I didn't just like Billy Idol, right?
I wanted to be Billy Idol.
There was this girl at school, Sally Bateman.
Thinking about it, she looked a bit like your mum.
-I didn't half have the hots for her...
I always reckoned I was going to marry Sally Bateman,
and Billy Idol was going to be play White Wedding at our wedding.
-Why are you telling me this?
Everything just seemed simpler back then. Cooler.
Is that what you want? To be cool?
Nah, not any more.
What do you want, then?
I want to be happy.
I want to be safe.
You know, running away isn't going to make you happy.
Who says I'm running away?
The for sale sign. This marriage.
Leaving home, your business, friends and family.
The business will still be here and my family's coming with me, OK?
Yeah? What about Ben? Your brother. Remember?
What about Ben? He's made his choices, all right?
What is that supposed to mean?
Ben's a Mitchell, OK? He's not part of this family. He's...
We're leaving. He's staying. OK?
And that's all there is to it.
Look, I know this all happened a bit quick but...
And I know I've been... I haven't been myself lately.
I've been getting really stressed. And that needs to stop.
And Friday, it will. OK? You'll understand.
I've got my Business Studies exam.
Well, it was supposed to be breakfast in bed
but seeing as you're up, you've got eggs, bacon, toast...
Who stole my beans?! >
-Which one of you tea-leaves...?
-All right, look. It wasn't her. It was me.
How was I supposed to know they was your beans?
You label your beans?
-I label all my foodstuffs.
Because when I was in the....
To stop scavengers like you nicking 'em.
-Not according to the tin.
OK, the beans are yours. The rest's ours, yeah?
-You happy now?
You're not going to let him get away with that, are you?
-He said what?
-That you made your own choices. That you're a Mitchell.
I don't know. He was acting really weird.
Ian's never really played with a full deck, has he?
No, I mean manic. Bringing the wedding forward,
-selling the house.
He said we're moving away.
Said he's got no friends or family left here.
I've never seen him like this. Mandy's wound him up so tight,
he's all over the place, arranging the wedding.
-You've got to do something. Talk some sense into him.
Yeah, you're his brother! In fact, you're his best man, aren't you?
Yeah, well, I don't think so. I dunno. Not any more, anyway.
Why not? What is going on between you two?
You said it yourself.
Mandy's got him not knowing whether he's coming or going.
But I'll have a word with him.
-Let him know what a big mistake he's making.
What are you going to do?
Whatever it takes.
People find out that Ian's leaving, they'll start asking questions.
We can't have people asking questions, can we?
It's just a missed payment. Alfie'll sort it.
It's not just that though.
We've missed a few bills.
He didn't even have enough money for the weekly shop.
Will there be some money coming through from my investment?
No, no. That's a long term thing, Jean. You need to...
That's a 'big picture' type deal, know what I mean?
I don't care about big pictures, I just want to help.
He's just missed a few bills. It's not the Greek national debt.
Slight overreaction. Why don't you just chuck in for the weekly shop?
Well, I would but all my money's in the investment.
Well, just have to get another job then.
-Tide us over temporarily.
-That's a good idea.
And now there's a for sale sign out front.
Wonder what he's planning to do with the caff.
I should probably call Jane.
It's him, isn't it?
-Who is who?
-The man you're mooning over.
-I'm not mooning over anyone.
So, what do you say to a nice night in?
What, as opposed to a murder scene?
Oh, how many times can I say I'm sorry?
I've got Sasha tonight.
I was thinking about the three of us. We could watch a couple of DVDs.
What, like a snuff movie, yeah?
That depends. Do they find Nemo in a shallow grave?
Oh, come on, Ray. I'm trying here.
You'll have to try harder than DVDs on a school night.
Do you reckon a guy and girl can ever be just friends?
-Hello, Sally, meet Harry.
-I'm being serious.
Yes, guys can be friends with girls. It's just really hard.
Especially if one person isn't trying as much as the other.
I saw you this morning, in your nightie.
Oh, come on, Rox. It's not fair.
Not to you and not to him. Someone's going to get hurt.
Wait, he put his name on a can of beans?!
Not even just his beans. The weirdo labels everything. I checked.
Please tell me my brother defended your honour?
My honour? He didn't even defend the beans!
What was I supposed to do? Look, it was the bloke's beans. He's got a point.
Tyler's labelling his food as well.
SHE CLUCKS LIKE A CHICKEN
I'm not a chicken, all right. I'm just waiting for the right time.
Lay a few ground rules, set him straight.
Well, listen, I'm not having him taking over that house.
He'll be labelling that TV next.
SHE CONTINUES CLUCKING
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
12.30, Town Hall. That's it.
Brilliant. I'll see you then. Bye.
That's the photographer booked!
You're not still worried about Lucy, are you?
-Maybe she's got a point.
-What, about Billy Idol?
About the wedding and moving.
I mean, Ian, it's all happening so fast.
Are you running away?
What if I am, OK?
It's a big wide world out there and...
..maybe I've outgrown this place.
All the people I cared about, they're long gone.
There's nothing left for me here. Nothing but ghosts.
So, yeah, if I am running away...
..perhaps we're running away to a better place.
Once we're married, OK, everything will be fine.
Ian, I haven't even got a dress.
Tell you what, how about you take yourself into town,
go get yourself the sort of dress you've always dreamed of?
Might come to a little bit more than that, hun.
Yeah, it will, won't it? OK, tell you what, take this one.
You can remember the PIN, can't you? Usual one.
# It's a nice day for a white wedding... #
You forgot something, love?
(ALFIE) Yeah, I know. What colour is it?
No, no, no. That's not what I said.
You're not listening, that's not what I...
I'm not being useless, all right?
I just want to make a decision with you.
No, I know I'm not there.
But at the same time, you're not here, are you?
No, I'm not saying it's your fault. It's no-one's fault.
It's just a fact, that's all. Kat?
Mo said you were here. I didn't mean to...
You know what, it's a bad time, I'll go.
Oi! You all right?
Yeah. I'm good. Never been better.
Ian, calm down, will you? I just want to talk to you.
Give me a call or send me a text or something.
-Just stay away from me.
-I was asked to come by Lucy.
She thinks you're acting weird, like you've got something to hide.
I do. We all do, don't we?
-Which is why it's important to act normal.
That's a laugh. What is normal about this?
Not pulling the plug on your life, on Lucy's. What are you thinking?
I was thinking about getting her as far away from here as possible.
I'd have thought that's what you wanted.
Oh, no. You...
You want me here so you can keep me under control, don't you?
Well, someone's got to, ain't they? Eh? Go back to your job.
Earn money. Take care of your family. And act normal.
Now, we had a deal, remember?
We don't want anyone asking any questions.
Cos you're in this as deep as anyone else.
Oh. £1,000. Cash. Interest compounded daily.
What was it you said on Saturday? Short term bridging loan?
A creditor might be a little bit nervous to see this.
Janine, you'll get your money, one way or another.
OK, well, I like the sound of "another."
-Exactly. That's what me and Kat were arguing about.
Can you believe it? Duvet covers for Tommy. Ben 10 or In The Night Garden.
These are very important decisions, Alfie.
Tell me about it. You know, big decision to make.
Not sure Kat sees it like that though.
You miss her, don't you?
You should go to them.
What, just pack up and go? I've got responsibilities.
At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Funny, you know, at times like this, the Slaters pull together as a family.
I'll never be a Slater. Not really.
But, you know, I do understand it.
It's just that, you know, at times like this,
I get lonely, miss my family, you know?
Yeah, I know.
It's only Ian. I'll talk to him later.
SHE CLEARS THROAT
So what did you want?
I'm going to move out.
-I know you said it's OK, I know you said it's OK but...
It's getting awkward with Mo and Jean and everything.
No, you don't have to do that, darling. Not on their account.
-All right, Alfie?
-Hey, you all right? All right, girls?
Right. I should go.
Hey, listen. No, Rox.
How about tonight me and you go and get something to eat?
Maybe I dunno, grab a curry or something. Be lonely together, eh?
-Yeah, I'd really like that.
-Yeah, me too.
-Catch you later then, yeah?
-See you later. Take care.
All right, Mush? Where's Tyler?
Gone to see a man about a label.
What I'm trying to say is that maybe for the good of the house,
we should all just try and muck in together. Yeah?
I mean, this whole labelling thing, it's a bit weird, innit?
Tell me, Tyler, are you aware of the term Top Dog?
-Then let me enlighten you.
It's a prison term. It's how the hierarchy is set.
Who sleeps where. Who does what to whom. That sort of thing.
Now, it's called Top Dog because that's how it works in nature,
amongst wolves and such. It's very important to have structure.
To know who's boss. Otherwise, it's just chaos.
It's nothing personal, but it's how the pack leader, that's me,
keeps the bitch, that's you, in check.
Now I choose to mark my hierarchy by labelling my foodstuffs.
But there are other ways I can mark my territory.
We'll keep the labels, eh?
Yeah. Let's keep the labels, mate.
You looking for work? Only Janine could do with another cleaner.
Yeah. At Butcher's Joints. I'm Executive Director of Operations.
I don't think so, Billy. Me and that woman hardly get on.
Yeah, you and most people round here.
We've all had run-ins with her, including myself.
But Michael, he'll put in a good word for you. Won't you, Michael?
I've got plenty of options.
Yeah, Alfie? Listen, do me a favour.
Give us a call about the wedding as soon as possible. Bye.
I know you and her have got history.
But I also know how hard it is out there at the moment.
I'd be your line manager, Jean. Just let me do all the talking
and hopefully you won't deal with her at all.
Come on, Jean. I'm desperate here.
Let me guess, having put the wedding off, Dad decided to soften the blow?
Put the wedding off? I've just bought the dress!
By the way, your dad wants us to meet him tonight in the caff.
Some sort of family summit.
I don't get it. What does he mean by marking his territory?
Don't dwell on it, bruv.
What can we do? I don't want to go back there in his "territory". I won't do it.
We'll make our own territory.
You're leaving? Why?
Why do you think? Mandy.
I hate her.
I hate her hair. I hate her nose.
I hate her lopsided, cutesy, little smile.
-I just want to scratch her eyes out.
I mean, I don't get it.
I know you don't want to leave. cos that's rubbish, innit?
Why does Mandy get to you so much?
Do you think she's trying to take your mum's place or something?
Are you kidding? No-one can replace my mum.
My dad's tried hard enough.
Not even my mum could replace my mum. He just doesn't love her. OK?
Cos I'm not going to let him.
-She's 13, not three.
-You're not helping.
Look, I don't want to do anything. And I can't. I've got to practise.
-You like dancing?
-I love it.
-She's really good at it.
-Why didn't you say so?
Listen, you're looking at the former Under-17s National Bogling champion.
Hey, you want to nail that dance recital, you are in the right place.
Put some music on, Mr DJ. Let's get this party started!
You're going to do it, then?
Yep. I've got an interview with Billy tomorrow.
You despise Janine, with good reason.
I went to the Job Centre today. It was full.
And the girl behind the counter, she was doing her best
but you could see in her eyes that...
You don't have to respect your employer.
-But you have to respect yourself.
Anyway, when my investment comes through it will give me
the greatest of joys to tell Janine where she can shove her job.
You look nice, babe.
Thank you. Do you think I should maybe dress down a bit?
Depends on what you're trying to achieve.
Rox, he doesn't love you, all right? He's told you that.
What he's told me and what he means are two very different things.
OK? I offered to move out and he asked me to stay.
There's something there, Christian, I know it.
-All right, Jean?
-Don't you look nice?
-No. Me first.
Jean, I want to apologise for the way I spoke to you this morning.
It was bang out of order. I've just...
Just got a lot on my mind at the moment, you know.
I know. That's why I'm getting another job
to help with the housekeeping.
-No, no, sweetheart. You don't have to do that.
-Yes, I do.
You know, Jean, you have got one big heart, you have.
-So do you.
-See you later.
Kat misses you terribly, you know.
I know you think us Slaters are a tight bunch
but she's there for them. What she needs is you.
Are you ready to order?
I think I'm going to leave it another five minutes.
'..3% in the last 13 weeks. Total sales increased 5%.
'Retail like-for-like sales at its North American unit...
It's interesting, Gillian, talking about retailers expanding abroad...'
You'll never guess who I had a visit from. Uncle Phil!
There's a surprise.
I went to see Ben. I was upset and Phil offered to help.
Both me and Phil, right, when we talked about it this morning,
want what's best for our families.
Selling the house, our family home, is that what's best?
Leaving your businesses and dragging your kids away from their friends
-is what's best?
-Lucy, just calm down.
After everything we've been through, after what you've built here,
you're just going to throw it away to marry her?
You don't love her. He doesn't love you.
And how do you know that?
Because she's not Mum!
-What's this got to do with your mum?
-It's always got to do with Mum.
Even that girl you were blabbering on about...
Sally Bateman. She looked like Mum. No surprise.
Everyone you've ever loved kind of looked like Mum.
She's the closest of the lot.
I do not look like Cindy Beale.
No, you're right. You're just a pale imitation.
-Lucy, that's enough, all right?
-It's not your fault, Mandy.
No-one will ever measure up. But you don't want to, do you?
-You're waiting for the right moment to run away.
-Oh, shut up!
You'll bleed Dad dry until there's nothing left then move on to the next.
The pathetic thing is you pretend that you can change.
-At least my mum was honest.
-You know what...
-Stay there. Bobby, wait by the door, please.
Come here. I know what you're playing at.
I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to help us.
You know what, you are so like your mum sometimes, it scares me.
In a good way?
Your mum was a lying, cheating, murderous slapper
who would do whatever it took to get her own way.
Is that "in a good way"?
Now, you take Bobby home
and don't you ever pull a stunt like that again.
Mo, you seen Alfie?
-Not since he left.
He's gone to see Kat and Tommy, and about time too.
Ah, that reminds me.
He left you this.
OK, Sasha! Dance recital take one!
MUSIC: "Poker Face" by Lady Gaga
Good, ain't she?
TUMBLING AND CRASHING
It's OK. I'm not hurt!
What you doing awake, young lady, huh?
What is it, love?
Do you know, I can only remember being truly happy once as a child.
One memory. Isn't that pathetic?
Depends on the memory.
It was Easter. She made pancakes with syrup.
And we ate the lot. We were laughing and throwing stuff at each other.
Thing is, like... Why that time?
You know, why only that time?
When we're married, it'll be pancake and syrup every day.
I have to. It's all I have.
And no-one can take it away from me, not now.
Hi. This is Mandy Salter.
My fiance, Ian Beale, made a booking with you.
I'm sorry, there's been a mix-up and we have to cancel the Registry Office for Friday.
Feel free to offer it to someone else. Thank you.
Whatever it takes.
So he's definitely moving, then?
I just got a text from Lola
saying that Ian's getting married the day after tomorrow. Mad house.
-Going to be all right having the afternoon off? Show support and that.
-Yeah. Yeah, course.
Come on, George. I'll throw in a fish supper for you and the wife.
I know it hardly covers the cost of the arrangements.
It's just a little sweetener until the end of the month. That's all.
Cheers, mate. I really do appreciate it.
It's 12.30 at the town hall. Bring the kids, yeah?
All right, mate. Bye.
So the catering's cancelled?
What are you smiling at?
Someone walk over your grave?
There she is. My beautiful bride-to-be.
-Got you a nice cuppa. Sit and I'll bring you some toast.
-I am working here.
-KNOCK ON DOOR
-Get that for us, love.
-Love? Don't you mean cheating, murderous slapper?
D'you know what, I hardly slept a wink after last night.
I just lay there, listening to you breathe.
-That is creepy.
-I was just thinking, "There she is. The woman I love."
I can't have estate agents snooping round. I'm meant to be revising.
-Ian, I'm not even dressed yet!
-We did book.
The wedding, I tell you, everything is just starting to come together.
It's going to be the best wedding you've ever had.
-How many do you think I've had?!
-Could we just take a quick look?
-Yeah. Feel free. Just go round.
Love, I tell you. It is going to be magical.
-What, like when you married Cindy?
Cos it won't, Ian.
Yeah, you might've booked a Registry Office
and, yeah, I expect you'll turn up, but what else?
-Have you even ordered a cake yet?
Ian, you're looking for Cindy Beale mark two.
I'm barely Mandy Salter mark one.
What are we doing?
Excuse me, excuse me. Masood!
Whoa, whoa, you look terrible.
You got anything for number 45?
I dunno yet.
-Well, come on, it's important.
-There is an order, Ian.
At last! My beautifully altered bridesmaid dresses.
-Mandy has got bridesmaids, right?
Yes! Right, Town Hall Registry Office, 12.30 tomorrow.
Make sure you're there. Bring the missus. It's going to be magical. You don't want to miss it, OK? Yes!
You want to watch all three Twilight films tonight? Why?
-Thought you hated them?
-That was before the werewolf.
-Nah, me and Oscar are going to watch this Jason Statham film.
I'm not having my little boy watch that nonsense!
What's Twilight? That's nonsense, innit?
-Just topless werewolves running about.
It's about abstinence, no nookie before marriage.
You two should have tried it.
Oi! I heard that! Hello, Jay.
-Your post, ma'am!
-Jay, back me up, mate.
They think they're watching the Twilight films tonight.
Ain't that Jason Statham film on tonight?
Yes, exactly. Well done. You've just earned yourself a driving lesson.
-No, that does not mean you've won!
-Yes, it does.
-No. Tell him.
-Family's a numbers game. One, two, three.
-So he's part of the family now?
-Yes, he is.
You can't go now. You'll have to take him later. You've booked...
We're only going round the square. Come on, Jay.
Did you come to see me or my dad?
Sorry, sweet cheeks. I thought you was working today.
-I am. So leave me alone!
Why you here?
Washing up? I'm beginning to feel like an house husband.
Billy, get Whitney on the phone for me, would you?
Charming. It's the mornings when I love you most.
Tell her the dresses have arrived and sound her out about moving in...
-I've got to interview Jean.
-I'm sure you can manage both.
You're not trying that woman? She'll sink the business!
I need cleaners. I need to know if these dresses fit.
And I need to know if I have to put my entire empire on hold,
while I play peek-a-boo for the next five years!
I'm Mandy Salter and I'm not getting on that boat!
Come on, Alfie, pick your phone up.
Look, you're supposed to be sharing the workload with me because you're my best man.
Give me a call back, please!
-By the way, I borrowed that money I found in your jeans.
Listen, I was thinking... Bridesmaids. It just occurred to me.
Have you asked anyone?
Ian, I'm going to get my nails done for YOUR wedding.
-You know, what more do you want from me?
-Take it no-one said yes.
-You do it.
Yeah! Mandy would love to have you as her bridesmaid.
-I mean, she loves you.
-Are you mad?
-Do it for me, then.
-What, after how you spoke to me yesterday?
When did you last do anything for me?
When did you do anything to deserve it?
Smells like compost.
Yeah, it calms you down.
I don't need calming. I need Ray to see what I see. The truth!
Right, you've lost me.
His daughter's dancing. The flailing limbs. The dis-coordination.
-As in un-rhythmicality.
The girl dances like corn bouncing on a hotplate and not in a good way.
Ah, you're just mean.
Mean? He's the one bigging her up like she's the love child
of Justin Timberlake and Usher.
And before you say it, I know they're two blokes
but this love child was IVF!
Yes. Yes, Kim. That's exactly how IVF works.
I'm sorry, but is this a science class or is it
a Kim gets it off her resplendent chest session?
Maybe you should just take her to one of your Kimba classes.
Do me a favour.
You should be happy, Dad. You get to spend the day with me.
Oh, look at this. My two favourite women all under one roof.
-You all right, babe?
-Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
Only Sasha can't go to her school trip today
because someone forgot to bring home a letter for me to sign.
-I don't care how cotton mills work.
-You can't stay at the Vic all day.
Oh, right. Kim was just saying that she would love to...
KIM KICKS HER
..to take your Sasha... SHE COUGHS
..to one of her Kimba classes, you know.
Yeah. That's a wicked idea. So long as it doesn't involve gravestones!
What do you reckon, babe? Want to show 'em how it's done?
Bust a couple of moves, yeah?
-Oh, Ian! You frightened me.
Mandy would love to have you as her bridesmaid.
No, I'm Janine's.
What are you? About a size ten?
I'm an eight. Ian, I haven't agreed to anything.
-Lauren, he wants me to be Mandy's bridesmaid.
-I thought you were Janine's?
It'd make her so happy on her special day. Please.
-I can always slip you 50 later.
-Well, ain't that a bit cheap?
-No, I mean bribing people to like your wife.
I know. It's a hassle. There's fittings and dress rehearsals and all the rest of it.
All right. You do it then.
We've got that appointment thing, ain't we, with my mum?
So we're well late already. Sorry.
Look, you'll still come along to the service, won't you?
Town Hall Registry Office. Tomorrow. 12.30. Yeah? It'll be magical!
Alfie, where you been?
Yeah, listen, mate. This is important, OK? We forgot bridesmaids!
What d'you mean you're not coming back?
The thing is I've got an interview with Billy in, um, 15 minutes!
So you put the money in and expect other people to do the hard work?
No! No. I just don't know how helpful I'll be.
Not very if you don't learn the figures.
Look out there.
A boxing gym is the heartbeat of a community.
Don't just nod. You've got to feel it.
You know, that's Walford.
The big, the small.
The rich, the poor.
That's the community, Jean. Just beating.
You don't just put money into something like that.
Got to put your soul into it as well.
Well, we'd better get started, then.
It was just so weird. Like, desperate.
Maybe Mandy just really likes you.
No-one said yes, more like.
Yeah, forget maid of honour, maid of last resort.
That's even more reason for you to do it.
-Babe, don't get involved.
If you want to chip in, you can pay like everyone else.
I've already said yes to Janine.
It'll have to be you then, won't it? I mean, how awful must it be
knowing you haven't got a single friend in the world?
Er, no. The guilt trip is not working.
Oh, d'you know they're moving house as well?
Yep, saw the sign up this morning.
Look at your face, look. It's going to be a disaster.
Oh, hello, Mandy! What can I do for you?
Um, nails. I suppose.
Right. Lovely. Thanks for the chop.
Don't get involved.
-What was he on about?
OK, Kimba-ettes, thank you so much. Sorry about the change of venue.
They double-booked me. Come on, Jackie. Come on, Jackie.
Don't worry, their heads have been busted.
You OK there, Sasha?
I'm just doing my thing.
Yeah? Well, it's my class. And it's MY thing now.
So watch and learn!
OK. Let's go. Un, deux, trois, quatre!
Come on! And the arms! Bend your back, bend your back.
Give me the arms. Arms!
You must be very excited at the moment with everything that's going on.
With the wedding and...
Lauren says you're moving house.
Can't be great for Lucy, can it, with the exams coming up?
Why does everybody assume it's my fault?
You know, I was minding my own business, working in the club
and Ian dragged me back here and everything is my fault ever since.
Hang on, I haven't finished...
You haven't paid me.
I always thought there's a lyrical quality to your speech.
I mean, you'd make a perfect best man for me.
Ian, bruvver, why you telling me stuff I already know?
I was thinking you could have a word with Lauren and Whitney. I can pay.
I mean, do I look like a window cleaner to you?
I mean, where does it say in my job description window cleaner?
I do this the whole day.
I sell my soul the whole day, and for what, man?
When I go home, the selling stops, all right?
That is Fats' time, that is my time.
I put on some tunes. I get down with the ladies. All right?
I don't do Bar Mitzvahs or weddings, bruv. Best man? What you thinking?
Did I just hear right?
Alfie's gone away. He's dumped me in it.
And he's your best bet?
I was just passing, OK? Phil, it's none of your business.
Well, you acting weird, pulling a shotgun wedding, selling your house, that's my business.
-Now have I got something to worry about?
-Thought you'd be pleased.
You all right?
Yeah. Time travelling.
You know, one day I'll have worked here my whole life.
-Can I sit down?
You know, Mandy,
you don't seem like someone that's getting married in two days.
How should I seem?
Excited. Scared. Maybe up and down, left and right.
You just seem...down.
Well, there's not a lot to get up about.
My mum said I'd mess it up. Who am I to argue, eh?
Ain't you one?
Yeah. Somewhere across town, one of my girls is hating me for something I've said without thinking.
No, my mum meant it.
You know, Mandy, when you're a mum
you spend so much of your life being ignored
that it's easy to forget how much your words mean to your kids.
I could say something to a mate and it's forgotten in minutes.
But I say something to one of my babies,
and they remember it for ever.
They hate me for it.
Yeah, that's true.
You're getting married, Mandy. You should get your mum's blessing.
Well, she's in hospital. I don't even know how bad it is.
That's even more reason then.
You know where I am...if you need your nails finishing.
-That's well above inflation so we can put that back into the business.
Oh, that's Billy!
He says if I don't go now, I've lost the job.
Jean, look. Jean, look. Look at this kid. See this kid?
He loves nicking cars.
Loves it. But when he's here, we can keep him out of trouble.
Me and Jack, we lack a woman's touch, Jean. You know?
He looks so young.
Yeah. If you can think of this place as a home...
..then it needs a mother. Every boy needs his mum, right?
What's this? You fancy a bit of sparring do you, Jean?
See, look. He loves having you here. We all love having you here, Jean.
Come on. Let's go and celebrate. Let's have a drink.
-Yeah, yeah. Celebrate. You're going to be rich, Jean.
You're going to be very, very rich. Forget Billy. Come on.
Hey, babe. How'd it go?
Standard was pretty low. Can I get changed upstairs?
Course you can.
She says my standards are low and you just smile?
So come on, then. How good was she? Bet they couldn't keep up, huh?
And now you're doing it! You're slagging off my class.
Babe, I didn't mean any harm by it.
I don't mean no harm by this.
That girl's dancing is unholy. It's un-bubblicious.
-You telling her different sets her up for one almighty fall.
Does my face say laugh? No, it says run for cover.
What, you being serious?
Right. Well, thanks for looking after her, yeah?
-I'm just saying...
-I know she's not the best, all right.
But what am I supposed to do? Put her down because she wouldn't win Strictly?
Course I'm going to encourage her.
That's what you do when you're a parent. You big up your kids.
When I see that girl, I see everything she can be.
You just see everything that she can't.
-I dunno why you put up with me.
-Cos I love you.
You all right there, babe?
I love you too!
Your mother's just out of recovery.
If you wait a sec, I'll take you through. The others are here too.
Jack. You and Lauren, you're close, yeah?
Yeah. She's my niece.
What I mean is, she's a nice girl, isn't she?
It'd be great to have her at the wedding.
Town Hall, 12.30. You as well.
This is nice. I'm five minutes late and you get a ringer in already!
Well, he sat down, uninvited.
Marie, nice cup of tea for me, please, beautiful.
-So what's he been on about?
-This isn't a joke, OK?
So far he's established that Lauren's my niece and that she's a very nice girl.
He'll be pointing out that we're brothers next.
I thought Lauren would like to be bridesmaid for Mandy.
I've got this one. Let me get this straight. Mandy is your aunt?
-What? You're marrying your aunt?
-Your family, Ian. God.
I'm still trying to work out how Phil's son is your brother.
Can you just shut up, please?
-That's no way to ask for a favour, is it?
-I need a bridesmaid, OK!
No, no. Mandy needs a bridesmaid.
Forgive me if I get this wrong,
but isn't that normally the job of the bride?
-She ain't having cold feet, is she?
-What did you say?
-He's only joking.
No. She loves me.
I've had strippers fall in love with me.
They probably meant it until my money ran out.
You take that back.
See, what you've got to remember,
is there's always someone with more dough to tempt 'em away.
-Don't you push me.
You ain't going to ask me to be your bridesmaid?
Right, that's it! We're closing the caff! Come on, all of you. Out!
-I haven't had my cuppa tea yet!
-I am not a joke, all right?
-Go on, everybody out.
-I haven't finished!
-You think I'm a joke, just get out!
Come on, Jack.
Sorry about this place. It's disgusting.
They've had a dance class in here or something.
No, no, it's all right.
I was wondering what my son would make of his mum
becoming a business woman.
A venture capitalist, no less!
This is my daughter Stacey.
And Sean, my son.
I'll tell him later. Well, I'll tell his picture.
We chat all the time.
Sounds bonkers, I know.
I think it's important to stay in touch with people
when they're not there.
Especially when they're not there. Don't you think?
-I don't have any pictures.
-Not even of your mum?
-What is it?
-There was a picture.
In their bedroom.
Old black and white one, portrait.
One of those old portraits. That's right.
She's young in it. She's younger than me.
Really odd when you see your parents as children, isn't it?
It's like an intrusion.
Yeah. She's wearing a white frilly dress with a bow.
And she's not happy about it. She's wearing one of these round her neck.
What happened to it?
Oh, my dad took it down.
Said she wasn't that person any more.
Oh, you never know. He might still have it.
He might be talking to her like I talk to Sean.
Lauren won't be involved in that wedding now.
-He's barred from the Bhajee.
-What's with the mothers' meeting?
We've just been expelled from the caff.
Ian didn't quite get Derek's sense of humour.
He went mad, slung us all out. Look, poor Marie.
Look, she's all upset. Come here, darling, come here.
-Where is he now?
-Said something about the chippy.
Oh, don't go after him, Max. Max!
Um, that's not my mum.
No. Lorraine Stephens.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
-If you'd just like to come back to the day room.
If you'd just like to come this way.
KNOCK ON DOOR
You OK, Ian?
Is the stall closed an' all?
-It ain't funny.
-Who said it was?
People can mock me cos I want to have a best man at my wedding but...
But to laugh at Mandy? Why shouldn't she have a magical day?
And a beautiful dress and bridesmaids?
Course, mate. Course she deserves all that.
Your Lauren doesn't think so or my Lucy.
Sad thing is, she don't either.
Look, Ian, I'm sorry about my brothers. They can be idiots.
All I've got, right, I've got a venue,
I've got a honeymoon and I've got a fiancee.
I don't even know how many people are turning up.
Ian, why don't you just call it off, mate?
Because it'll make her feel worthless. OK?
She needs to have a beautiful day so...
..so she knows how beautiful she is.
So what we got here?
Car. I know just the man for the car.
Do you a good deal, an' all. Cake.
Sounds like best man talk.
Go on, then, Ian. Go on, I guess so.
No, you can't. I've got...
Don't expect a big speech, all right? I don't do 'em.
Here I am...again.
I am sorry about earlier.
I can be clumsy with words.
She was very religious, my mother.
Very, very real to her.
This - St Christopher, he is - is the patron saint of travel.
She gave my brother Craig one as well.
She said that he couldn't help her where she was going.
Imagine that. Imagine sending yourself to hell.
You said that this place needed a mum.
Would you like a hug? Us mums are good at hugs.
He's gone mad, all right. He's proper lost it, Dad.
-What you talking about?
-Ian! He threw everyone out the chippy and the caff.
Shut 'em down. Apparently he was screaming in the street.
-When was this?
-This afternoon. They're all talking about it at school.
Everyone is talking about it! Maybe that's what he wants though.
Maybe he wants people to know cos he wants it off his shoulders.
That's why he's losing it. Dad, you've got to do something.
Hello, love. You want some lunch?
I'm Ian Beale's best man.
What? You said not to get involved!
Well, sort of volunteered, didn't I?
Oh. That's lovely of you.
I thought that Ben was Ian's best man?
What on earth are you going to say in your speech?
Talk about all the mad adventures that you two have been on?
If you need help, ask me.
Why you so keen?
Jane's been so worried about Bobby since she left.
Ian and Mandy married, that'll be the stability he needs.
-Hello, Max Branning?
What's up, Jay?
You're joking me?
Ian, it's Max. Yeah, your best man.
Listen, mate, I called the Registry Office on the way back
and they've just got back to me.
There's something you need to know.
What's up with you?
This morning you said...
Catering! Cancelled by Mandy Salter.
Registry Office, cancelled by Mandy Salter. Were you going to tell me?
Were you going to let me turn up and find out that way?
Were you even going to bother turning up yourself?
-I don't understand.
-Do you know what I have gone through today?
How much pride I've had to swallow?
-I've had some...
-To try and give you a magical day. Your special day.
People warned me off you, OK? And I wouldn't have it.
I said no. She is not a slapper. She is not a gold digger
-She is capable of love.
-Oh, shut up!
Just shut up!
I went to see my mum today.
I got there but I was...
I was too late.
My mum's dead.
You were doing a good job, then.
It's amazing how you become like your parents, innit?
I was just about to tell you to use a glass.
Yeah, yeah, it was good for thinking.
And what d'you come up with?
It might be nice to have dinner tonight.
I'm not doing anything this evening, that'd be very nice, thank you.
Yeah. Yeah, funny.
No, I meant me and Whit - romantically.
Are you saying that my presence isn't conducive to romance?
No... No, I'm not saying that. It's just, it might...
-I'm only joking!
I'll be out your way, son, don't worry.
Yeah, well, that's my offer. 40 below the asking price.
And I can pay cash.
I'm sure that that will appeal to Mr Beale,
given that he doesn't seem to have any.
Has she said anything? About yesterday?
No. I think cancelling everything, it was like a reflex action...
So what now?
Well, it's up to all of us to help her get through it, isn't it.
You're not thinking of going ahead with the wedding?
Dad, her mum has just...
Look, it's a decent way to celebrate her life, OK.
And you're going to make a fantastic bridesmaid.
Just don't mention it to her when she wakes up. Let her... You know.
Are you having a laugh? It's 8 o'clock in the morning!
Erm, I'm doing this to pass my exams.
Oh, "Pass my exams." Live a little.
-What, like you?
-Oh, you're so good.
Look at that - Ian Beale. He wants me to put everything back on.
They must have sorted things out, then.
How do you sort out a dead mum that quick?
Well, a bit of consideration. Mandy must be devastated.
Yeah, your best-man speech is going to be a real tear-jerker then(!)
Shut up, Lauren.
You're just put out cos me and Jay won the TV-remote wars last night.
You got exams today?
English and Science.
-Feeling OK about them?
Dad, I ain't slept a wink. Last night, I spoke to Lola,
she was, you know, telling me how Ian had this mad look in his eyes
when he threw her out the chippy.
-You know, like a zombie.
-Well, I'll sort it.
He could send us down for this.
I'll sort it, OK? One way or another.
SHE GASPS Tyler, stop it!
I'm late for work! Don't make me bring the pain.
All right, all right. Guess who's got a free house tonight...
Let me guess. Must be someone I know, or you wouldn't bother asking.
-All right, all right.
I guess I'll have to invite someone else
-for a beautiful, candle-lit dinner for two, then.
See you later. Don't bring Tamwar.
There you are! Have you been avoiding my minions?
Because it's tantamount to avoiding me.
No, I've been busy with work and Tyler.
-OK, so have you given it much thought?
Moving in! Billy said that he'd left a message.
I thought Michael would be moving in? He's the dad.
And what is that supposed to mean?
Nothing. Nothing, it's just...
most girls would die to have some sharply dressed go-getter
in the house.
Oh, please, Michael is not moving in!
Look, is this a yes or a no?
Because if it's a no, can you please just say so.
Janine, it's going to be all right, OK?
You're going to cope. Mums always do.
Janine? I didn't mean anything...
No, I'm not accepting 40 below.
Well, this is London, right?
The prices go up. It's simple economics.
Well, you're the estate agent, not me.
Oh, Ian. Are you all right?
I just dropped in to see how Mandy's doing.
Yeah, she's asleep.
Max told me about her mum. It's crazy, we were only talking about her yesterday.
Has she ask you to be bridesmaid?
No. Why? She wouldn't, would she?
She must be distraught, poor girl.
Yeah, it's really knocked her for six.
But it's good that she's got something to focus on.
Oh, right. So, you're still going ahead with everything?
Only Max said she cancelled the venue.
Yeah, it's only a quick phone call. Easily done.
-Right, you think she'll be up to that tomorrow, do you?
Thanks for coming round. She'll really appreciate it.
OK, well, look, if you need us to take Bobby off your hands...
-Yeah, absolutely. She'll be touched.
-You know where we are...
It's not my fault you've ended up the best man!
I told you not to go after him!
Here, look, let me make it up to you. I'll make amends.
Come out with me for a nice drink tonight, just the two of us, eh?
I want to give little Tyler and Whitney space.
-Hold up, it's the venue. Hang on. Hello? Yeah.
What, the card was declined?
Yeah, well, you said the admin fee was only 50 quid!
And it was still declined, yeah? Hold up, hold up.
I've got to sort this out, Del, sorry.
Hang on, let me just grab the card for you. Hang on.
Well, good luck!
Yeah, I know I'm going to be very, very rich...
Wahey! It's just that I need some money now.
So I was wondering if you might have a word with Billy
and tell him that it was your fault I missed the interview yesterday.
Well, not your fault exactly...
Course I can. It's fine, it's fine.
-Just leave it with me.
I've seen Million Dollar Baby - the answer's no.
What? No, it's Janine, actually...
-Is she OK?
Well, she asked me to move in again earlier and I said no...
This is ridiculous. She'll have Billy living there before me!
-Aren't bridesmaids supposed to get new dresses?
-I'm not sure about the red one, but the green one is OK.
-Can't I wear black?
-No, you can't wear black.
It's not very sensitive, is it? The green one will be lovely.
How you doing, love?
What time is it? Why didn't you wake me?
Cos I thought you deserved to have a lie in, OK?
Now, come on. Come and sit yourself down.
Marie's going to cover the cafe, so we haven't got to worry about that.
Now, you just relax and I'll go and make you a nice cup of tea.
About the funeral...
Ian, you can stick her in the allotment with the cabbages and carrots for all I care.
What about the wedding?
I can't go through with it. Not tomorrow.
Yes, you can.
No, Ian, I just need a little bit of time.
I'm not saying never. I'm not.
Just a couple of weeks.
My mum has just died.
KNOCKING AT DOOR
All right, Ian. It's your card, mate, it's been rejected.
What do you mean it's been rejected? I only just got it!
-Ian, it wouldn't go through, mate.
-What?! Oh, come with me.
What do you mean he said no?
All right, well, did you tell him that I offered to pay cash?
KNOCK AT DOOR
OK, in that case, revise my offer down by 10,000.
Yes, down. And then if he still says no,
you can tell him that the money I lent him at the weekend,
I would like back. Thank you.
You're not buying another place, are you?
What did you want?
That's very rude. I heard you were upset, yeah?
-But that was ten minutes ago...
-Must be Whitney.
Yeah. She was worried.
Not worried enough to move in though, right?
Why would you even want her to?
Because I'm not going to let this baby get in the way of my business.
With the genes that baby's getting,
she'll be pulling a hostile takeover in months.
I'm being serious, Michael, all right? I've got to get on.
Well, listen, I'm not moving until you ask me to move in, OK?
Because you've asked every other no-mark in the Square.
So, whenever you're ready. In your own time.
Is that right, Ian?
Well, I guess that's it, mate, innit?
The money for the funeral - it must have come out the account.
Right. Must have been expensive, was it?
Lend it to me.
Come on, Max. Look, you know I'm good for it, OK?
I've got the caff, I've got the chippy, I've got the house...
I'll pay you back, it's just a cash-flow thing.
It's not that, it's not that, all right?
I ain't being funny, but it's Mandy, innit?
-You know, she's the one who's cancelled all this.
Yeah, she still is. It ain't been 24 hours, Ian.
-She don't want to get married tomorrow...
-She does want to!
She just doesn't realise it yet, OK?
If you don't want to be my best man, just say,
and I can find someone else.
Ian, I'm not saying that, all right?
Then help me! I tell you what,
we get the smaller room at the registry office,
we're not going to do any food or flowers or anything.
Just me, Mandy, you, Lucy and Bobby. It'll cost a couple of hundred quid.
I thought you said you wanted it to be a magical day?
It will be magical. Just seeing that ring on her finger.
Max, please, in 48 hours' time I could be stood on that deck,
sipping champagne, just watching the sunset go down.
And all this... This stuff with Mandy's mum and the money...
It'll all be in the past.
You've got to help me get on that ship. With my wife.
Who else have you tried? Beale, have you tried Beale?
Oh, come on, calm down, please.
No. You're asking all these different people to help you out
and I'm right here.
I've asked someone to help me with my baby,
I need someone to help, so I offered Whitney a job.
Whitney, that ex-pro...
-Stop. What about meal times?
-What about meal times?
I can do meal times. I am available for meal times.
Yeah, I can come and sit round the table, I can eat dinner.
-What, like happy families?
-Yeah. Just like on the telly, you know.
All sitting round, eating cornflakes.
-Oh, please! Don't you think it's just a bit drastic?
We're having a baby together and you're talking about drastic?
How about this, look, right...
Let's have dinner tonight. Just me and you.
And then I can stay. How about that?
And I can wake up in the morning, we could have breakfast.
Then I go to work.
But then I'd come back, we could have dinner again.
Then I stay again. See, there's a pattern emerging.
We could just do that ad infinitum.
So, like, you accidentally move in?
Yeah. Yeah, why stop now?
Go on, girl.
You know you'd love it.
I've been looking for you. What's this about you shutting the caff
-and going out in the street, shouting?
-Billy. Buy my car.
Oh, yeah, like I can afford a new motor.
-Oi, oi, I'm talking to you.
Let me see, I've got... £2.70?
Oi, why are you doing this?
I'm going to do this without Max, or Ben, or anyone else.
-I can do it on my own.
Yeah, I'm going to be jetting off to paradise this time tomorrow.
That's not how it looks in the book, man!
Oh, what is that disgusting smell?
What's this? Extreme Cooking?
A couple of lugs of this, a drizzle of that - I've got vomit.
Oh, what are you doing?!
It says, look, the longer you cook it the better,
-so I thought I'd start early...
-No, what are you doing cooking
chilli con carne for a young girl?
This is supposed to be a romantic meal.
Bit of fish. Light pasta dish.
She's a beautiful young woman, not a rugby prop forward.
How do you know so much about it then?
Oh, you amaze me, you really do.
I don't know how you've lasted this long.
Right, bin all this and we'll start from scratch.
Now, what shall we do? Something fancy...
Something she'll respond to.
And you know how to cook, do you?
When it's the difference between sitting in a cell for a ten stretch
or learning how to make lasagne, it ain't long before you're pinnied up
and standing in front of a cooker. Well, do you want me to help you, or don't you?
I've got a poker game I could be organising.
Please, please, mate. Help me.
Good. Right. Let's get down the shops.
Now, you are the sous chef,
I am head chef,
which means that I am in charge,
and you are nothing but a maggot on the sole of my shoe.
-There's no change there then!
-Well... Come on.
All right, Phil?
This about Jay?
Don't bother kicking off, cos I'm done.
That's it. You know, I don't mind helping him out,
but I'm not going to lend him money.
I just want to know what he said to you.
He said he needed a best man. Which is fine.
I don't mind picking up the phone, saying a few words,
but I ain't going to lend him money, Phil, not the state he's in.
Well, the last I heard Ben was his best man.
Well, he told me Ben had exams or something, I don't know.
Still, if Ben wants the job back, that's fine.
Well, how much short is he?
500. Not likely, is it?
Before you know it, you've given him your credit card
and he's flying her off to Disneyland
in a Minnie Mouse helicopter.
Phil, you ain't going to see that money back.
I don't care. I just want you to do your job properly
and then Ben can stop worrying about his brother.
Do me a favour, calm him down before he gets himself sectioned.
You're going to need more than this, Phil. For the car an' all that.
I'll sort the car.
I lost my mum.
So? What, you want to be best friends now, do you?
Dead Mums Brigade?
I was just saying...
-Right, I'm selling the car.
-Stop selling everything!
-No, everything's falling into place.
-I need to get out of here.
No. You can't. I've got a surprise for you, OK? An announcement.
-It deserves a bit of ceremony, OK.
Everything's got to be perfect, hasn't it?
So, I'm going to go get us a curry and a bottle of wine.
Look, I promise, everything's got to be perfect, all right?
Just stay there, yeah? Have you got any money?
I thought you'd sold the car?
Make sure she doesn't leave.
Potato rosti. Sounds well-posh.
Yeah, and all you've done is fry up a couple of potatoes.
I'm amazed they had you doing this inside, mate.
Well, I met this guy, fellow con. Quite a funny story, actually.
Oh, yeah? Go on.
Well, I'd been in about a year, right.
So I get a call up to the warden's office.
I walk in, he's looking at me,
he says, "I'm sorry, Branning, it's a Dear John."
Dear John? What's that?
It's a letter you get from your missus,
when she's informing you it's all over.
No greater ouch, mate.
There's nothing you can do about it on the inside.
You see, the screws, they all read your mail,
so he knew what to expect.
He's looking at me, he goes,
"Branning, you need the doctor."
Do you know what he gave me?
Three sleeping pills. Three sleeping pills for a broken heart.
Did she give a reason?
Pain of separation, she put it down to.
Should have tried it from my side!
Anyway, couple of days later, a geezer comes up to me.
Heard I'd had a Dear John. He'd had one the week before.
What, this is your chef mate, yeah?
Yeah. We used to sit in my cell, planning our escape.
How we were going to win our women back in an hail of bullets!
See? You can do romance!
And then we realised
that it was easier to have nothing on the outside.
And that's when he taught me how to cook.
Well, thank God for that,
because this salmon and rosti is going to go down a storm.
There you go.
It'll be done soon and then I'm off to the dogs.
Dogs? I thought you was going poker?
-Think I got the shakes.
-Let me do it, then...
Did you get on it last night?
You are going to look so beautiful.
Tyler's going to do himself a mischief when he sees you.
Don't wiggle about, cos I'm going to ruin it.
Well, hurry up. I know you want a drink at the Vic.
I like it.
KNOCKING AT DOOR
All right, Max?
-You all right, Mandy? Come in.
Tanya's still at work, I think. She'll be back soon.
I'm... I'm sorry, you know, for your loss.
Have I lost something?
I'm always doing that.
You know, anything that's not physically attached to me...
-I'm so sorry.
It's all right. Come here. Come here.
Dad, we're just popping out...
-Come on, Mandy, it's all right.
-I'm so sorry.
It's OK, it's all right. Come here.
-How'd they go?
I dunno, I missed out a couple of questions.
-Well, at least they're over.
-What about Ian?
Well, Max is best man, so hopefully it'll keep him in line.
-He trusts him, I dunno.
It's always Max. Everywhere I look.
Well, maybe he'll sort his head out.
Yeah, maybe he can't.
I mean, what if... I dunno...
But what if he makes a call when he's safe on the other side of the world?
Stop making up all these fantasies, will you? You're as bad as Ian.
-Is that mine?
I forgot my wallet, you'll have to stick it on the tab.
You still owe me for the sandwich you didn't let me finish yesterday!
-What was that worth - a quid? Stick it on the tab.
-Oi, hang on!
-It's all right. I'll get it.
What's all that about?
She wanted a curry. She hasn't eaten all day.
We need to talk. Cos I ain't having you sailing off and running away.
-I told you. This time tomorrow I'll be gone.
-You ain't going anywhere.
-You ain't going on no cruise, and you ain't selling your house.
-You can't tell me what to do!
-Me and you, we had a deal, yeah?
-Her mum died, OK?
If I can't convince her to marry me,
to come on this honeymoon and make a fresh start, then it is over!
Now, that might suit you,
but if it is over, then I have got nothing to live for, OK?
Do you understand me?
-Ian, mate, just calm down, yeah.?
-Just take it easy.
You've taken on too much, just put something off...
I haven't taken on too much, it's my life!
-What about our life?
-You threw it away!
-Just leave him alone.
You might think I'm the one who's cracking up, but it's not, OK?
It's you two that are cracking up.
Don't worry about me, worry about each other.
Phil, please! Phil! Please, Phil!
You're just itching to talk, aren't you? It's just bursting out of you!
No! I'm not the one who does that, am I?
Now, Ben... Ben is your brother, yeah?
And me, I'm like a step-dad. So you and me,
we're like family, really, aren't we, yeah?
And betraying your family is the ultimate.
Betraying your family
is crossing the line. Do you understand me?
I won't... I won't.
want to get married.
It's all I've got left.
Come on, then. I'll walk you round there.
I quite like being a chaperone.
Ha! I'd say more "personal taxi".
Look at you, smiling from ear to ear.
Well, I just...
I never thought I'd get here again.
What, Albert Square?
No. You know the...
You know the butterfly feeling in your tummy?
And I have come a long way from all that stuff with Rob.
Yeah, it's about time someone made a fuss of you,
cos you're all right.
Oh, I'm all right, am I?
Yes. You really are.
Ah, just the man.
If you've come to tell me I'm on washing-up duty, I've clocked off.
No, no, no, I've had a word with her. Won't happen again.
I appreciate that. Thanks, Michael.
That's all right, Billy. I like you. That's why I wanted to have a word.
Yeah. When you bring someone in to any business,
everything they do, EVERYTHING, reflects on you, yeah?
If they're great, everybody loves you. If they're terrible...
I know it's unfair, but that's just the deal of being a worker bee.
Now I'm a big fan of you, Billy, like I said.
And that's why I don't want Janine blaming you
if someone else messes up.
You need to ask yourself the serious question,
"Do I feel comfortable having someone like Jean..."
"..represent me?" Yeah?
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm at sixes and sevens today!
Oh! That's better, right, OK.
I'm sorry, I dunno why I came here...
It's all right. Don't be silly, it's fine.
What was it, you didn't want to be alone?
Probably too late for that.
You grow up a certain way, don't you?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I guess you do, yeah.
How can you cry for someone you hate?
Mandy, look it ain't really my place to say but, you know,
maybe all this is, you know, a chance to move on, innit.
I need a lot of time to think.
Well, you know, you'll get that on the cruise, won't you?
I weren't meant to say anything. Ian managed to sort the tickets out.
I think you're going the day after tomorrow.
Right. So that's what the big announcement's all about.
Yeah, well, sounds like you could do with a break.
And you ain't got to worry about the funeral,
that's all taken care of.
Who's taken care of it?
Well, Ian has.
But I told him, I told him not to bother.
Well she needs burying, don't she?
She's my mum, Max! Not yours.
Not Ian's. She's mine.
And if I say let her rot in them allotments, then just let her rot!
Your rosti does not look like Mussolini.
You don't even know who Mussolini is.
Yeah, but it's a potato, ain't it!
Your boy's been cooking up a storm!
You look beautiful.
Careful, they're hot, them.
Yeah, I thought there was plenty of food, so, you know, I asked Derek.
Yeah, right, right.
You know what, it's always the way, innit.
You do the cooking and you lose your appetite.
No, there's plenty of food to go round, right, Ty?
Yeah. Yeah, I mean you've done most of the work, mate.
I'll grab mine later.
Right, so it's just us then.
So, I guess we can switch the romance back on now then, yeah?
-Tell Mandy I'm dishing up. Just got to lay the table.
You booked a funeral?
It's OK, you haven't left...
When I asked you, I asked you not to?
-He was trying to help.
Lucy, just don't. Not with this, all right?
So what, you think that was going to work, did you?
Put her in the ground.
Just sweep her under the carpet and everything goes away?
No. No, that's not how I saw it in my head, no.
Mandy, what I thought, right, was, I'd get us a nice curry
and a bottle of wine,
I'd set the table nicely, light some candles and then...
Then I'd give you these.
Look, I just thought that if we could get married, OK,
and we can get on the plane,
a couple of hours, you'd be in paradise.
Look, there'd be no more caff, no more chippy,
no more Albert Square, no more being laughed at.
And I thought, once you were on that ship,
you'll have time to relax and think and...
maybe you'd realise then that what your mum said was wrong, OK?
She's the one who couldn't be loved.
She's the one who's messed up.
She wanted it to be you, but it's not you, is it?
It can't be you. Because...
Because I love you.
Look, I just thought that, once we'd buried her, OK...
..you could start to look forward, instead of always looking back.
But I don't know how I feel about what's happened.
You don't need to know how you feel about all that.
You just need to know how you feel about me.
why don't you set the table for dinner and I'll go and get changed.
Here she is! My new flatmate.
Hello. How about a celebratory bitter lemon?
Lovely, thank you.
A celebratory bitter lemon?
We're moving in together.
Michael, that woman is not a nice woman.
She's the mother of my unborn child, Jean.
Well, I've got some news.
Billy gave me the job!
So what you said worked.
He said, us worker bees have to stick together.
I'm in your debt!
-There you go.
I'm going to need a photo of you.
Well, he certainly knows how to make a girl feel special, doesn't he?
Oh, yeah, he's upstairs, emptying a bottle of aftershave
all over himself, as we speak.
You know, it's going to be so nice,
not having you around on this honeymoon.
I'm not going to let you marry my dad.
Oh, I'm going to marry him.
Just to ruin your day.
In two hours,
you will be Mrs Beale.
You know, I could, um... I could kill a cup of tea.
Ah, cup of tea.
See? I've thought of everything.
Once you've had your cup of tea,
I'm going to do you a nice, extra-special wedding breakfast,
of pancakes and syrup -
just like you said you liked when you were a kid.
That's really sweet of you.
I want to treat you nice.
I want you to have all the things that you've always wanted.
I don't want you to ever feel scared or lonely or cold, or anything else.
Not while I'm around.
Ian, you, um... You don't have to try so hard.
I'm just me,
I'm nothing special. Just Mandy.
I mean, we're getting married in a registry office.
It's hardly Will and Kate.
We could be getting married in a dustbin
in the middle of Bridge Street,
and it would still be the most romantic day of my life.
Is it going to be a themed wedding? Nightwear?
-I just got up.
Where's the lucky man? He's calmed down a bit, has he?
Yeah, for a bloke who's going to his own execution,
he's in a pretty good mindset.
All right, great. Well, tell him I'm around, will you?
I've sorted out some drinks at the Vic
and sorted the car out,
so, tell him if he needs anything to give me a shout, yeah?
-How's he doing?
Yeah, not bad, I think.
-I'm just going to go and get some cigarettes.
-Just a craving.
-No, is Ian nervous?
-I don't know, Phil.
-I ain't seen him. And your bloke with the Roller, he's definitely still coming?
-Where's your dress?
-Oh, right. Do me a favour. Can you go get Bobby ready for me?
Just be a loving, dutiful daughter for once in your life, OK?
Make me happy. Please.
-I was going to say I have an exam this afternoon. I've got to be back by one.
-Yeah, you will be, OK?
It's a simple ceremony. In and out, we'll be done in an hour.
Now, please, just go and get Bobby ready.
Oh, and give Mandy a shout, as well.
KNOCK AT DOOR Yeah, come in.
Do you mind?!
Poor Dad. It's not a pretty sight.
Shut the door, will you?
You know, it's not too late to do a runner.
-You could always jump out the window.
-You know what?
So could you. I reckon it's about time you left home.
You know, saw a bit of the big wide world.
Dad wants you downstairs.
Special wedding breakfast. Isn't it exciting(?)
I can keep my mouth shut.
I will. I have. Phil, I'm not going to say anything.
-I want to believe you, Ian, I really do.
I've got my head together.
Because if I can't, I'm going to have to make a decision. I really don't want to do that.
But it might just come down to that
Ben. I have to choose.
No, you don't.
You don't have to, Phil. You don't have to choose. I promise you.
I am 100% reliable.
Well, I am going to be close
and I am going to be watching, all right?
Enjoy the wedding.
Mandy, Lucy, Bobby - breakfast!
Whose is that?
That's Mandy's, innit?
You are joking?
I thought Ian was meant to be having cash-flow problems.
It's a gift, innit? It's from Phil.
Oh, yeah, right. Of course it is.
-Because those two love each other so much.
Can you give us a hand, darling. I need someone with a head for heights.
All right, give me a sec.
Hello, Ian. I'd like a word with you.
I can't talk now. I'm having a crisis. Lucy. Lucy!
-What is going on?
-Nothing, love. Nothing at all. Hiya.
-Bride-to-be. You must be really excited.
-Yeah. Size six.
-Why don't you go back upstairs and try it on, love.
-Please, Just go try it on, for me. Please.
-Did you want me?
-Yeah, I'll be back in a minute.
What's the problem?
You told me you were skint and you've got a white Rolls-Royce
waiting to take you to the church.
Don't pretend like you don't know. Ian!
If you can afford to pay for that, then you can afford to pay me.
What... I can't.
I didn't pay for that. Just ask Max, he'll explain.
-Oh, he did. He said Phil bought it as a present. Not likely.
That's what he said.
Now, I suggest you hand over some cash,
otherwise I'm going to get really nasty.
Janine, I can't. I haven't got a penny!
What, so you can afford that, a wedding, a honeymoon,
and a fancy dress?
-It's cleaned me out, OK?
I'm going to clean you out.
You're not going to be able to sell that house,
because I'm going to own it.
Janine, please. Have a heart, will you? It's my wedding day!
You're getting married yourself soon, aren't you?
So, come on, give us a break, yeah?
No. Remember, Ian,
I was the girl you paid fifty quid to have sex with.
When I had no friends, no money,
you were first in line, and I don't forget things like that.
So, I want a thousand pounds in cash by five o'clock today,
otherwise I'm going to call the lawyers.
-Ian, do you know what time it is?
Janine said Phil paid for it.
Yeah, yeah, pretty generous an' all.
-Otherwise you'd be going on a bike, Ian.
-He paid for it, yeah?
-It's a favour. A mate of his.
-Right, and that driver?
-I think he's a mate of Phil's.
-I don't like the look of him, Max.
I really don't like the look of him.
Well, he's no oil painting, I'll give you that.
Look, just get rid of him.
-Just get rid of him. You drive, yeah?
I am not getting in the car with him. I'm just not, OK! I'm not.
And don't tell Phil, yeah?
-I'm SO hungry.
-No, that's good.
It's good to have an appetite, it really is.
But... Just tuck this in here,
because I don't want you getting anything on your suit, OK? Good lad.
What are you doing? Why aren't you dressed yet?!
Why haven't you got your bridesmaid's dress on?
What's the rush?
Mandy's ring. Mandy's wedding ring, I put it here.
It's completely disappeared. Have you taken it?
No. What do you think I am?
Where are you going, Dad?
What are you doing?
-Where's your mum's wedding ring?
-I don't know.
-Where's Mum's wedding ring, I need...
Dad. You've got no right.
Give me that box. That's my stuff. That's my stuff!
-I need it. I need it.
-Give it to me!
I just need it.
-That's Mum's. That's Mum's wedding ring.
-What's she going to do, complain?
-How could you?
How could you?! Do you think I'm stupid?
Do you think that ring just miraculously disappeared?
Bobby, go back in there and I'll deal with you in a minute, OK?
Please, son. Go back in there.
Lucy, you took the ring. I know you took the ring!
-What is going on?
Oh, doesn't she look beautiful? You look so beautiful, love.
Doesn't she, Lucy? Doesn't she?
Here, try the bouquet.
I bet you'll look as pretty as a picture!
-If you marry that...
If you marry that, she will destroy your life.
You just don't stop, do you?
-He's my dad. He's got no-one else to protect him.
-He doesn't need protecting, Lucy.
He's a grown man.
What, and you love him, do you? You're head-over-heels?
Lucy, that is enough, please. That is enough.
My feelings are my business. Not yours.
But don't. Don't pretend you care about him, Lucy, cos you don't.
All you care about is yourself.
You don't understand. You don't understand what he's been through.
-You think you're so different from the others! What makes YOU so different?
-Lucy, that's enough, OK?
I need you to put your bridesmaid's dress on. Go and put your dress on.
-I'll go and put my suit on, OK?
Please. Don't do this. She'll hurt you. Look at her.
You can see it in her eyes.
Mum broke your heart and you never recovered.
Mel was hot, blonde, bit like Mum.
Laura, she was just a safe bet, nice. Jane was the same.
But now you're trying it with her. Look at her.
LOOK at her! She's a scuzzy, second-rate version
of my beautiful mother
and it ain't going to make you happy.
No-one will make you happy like Mum did!
No, your mum did not make me happy.
-She did not make me happy, OK?
-But you loved her.
You loved her till it drove you mad.
No, no, no, no!
Stop talking about your mum, please, OK? Don't talk about any of them.
All of them, they were just a mistake, all right?
Mandy is the right woman for me, OK? She is the right woman for me.
I adore her, she adores me
and we are going to be very happy together. Aren't we? Aren't we?
-She can't even answer.
Now, come on, let's just...
I got a ring, let just try it on, yeah.
-What you doing?
-It's a new ring, OK?
-Let's see if it fits.
-It's Mum's ring.
-Don't listen to her, please.
-Ian, please! Ow. OW!
Right, it's perfect, OK.
Now, you finish, go and get ready.
Go and put your dress on. I'm going to put my suit on.
-Then we'll go to the registry office.
-Ian, it's not even time.
-We'll go early and wait, OK?
No! I'm not going to let you do this.
You're going to have to choose.
It's me or her. You have to choose.
You can't make me do that.
You can't make me do that.
Peter don't want to know.
Do you really want me gone too?
Dad, I'm your little girl. We don't need her. We're a family.
Please, Dad. You're going to have to choose.
-You have to.
Ian, it's OK. You can say.
-No, no, no, I can't. I can't.
I choose Mandy.
-I choose Mandy.
-No, I've chosen Mandy.
-I'm your daughter.
No, that's it. That's all of it.
I have. I've chosen Mandy, OK?
-I'll go. I'll leave. I mean it. You'll never see me again!
-Fine, go! Just get out of here.
Just take your coat and your bag, and just go.
Go, Lucy. Just go.
Dad! Dad! Dad! What are you doing?
Look, just take this, it's all I got left.
No. Dad, you're mad. You're sick.
-Where's Lucy gone?
-She's gone out.
Right, come on, Mand, let's get going.
My bouquet... It's ruined.
That's OK. No, it's fine. Look, I can fix it. I can. I can fix it.
No, no, you can't. You can't.
It's just a bouquet, OK. We don't actually need it. Come on, let's...
Ian, I haven't got a bouquet and I haven't got a bridesmaid.
I just think, you know, maybe we need to rethink all this, because...
No, no, it's all right. It's all right. Just calm down.
-I'll get another bouquet. I'll be back, promise.
-You're not even dressed!
Everything's fine, OK. Everything's perfect.
Don't get your suit dirty.
Stick some flowers together - anything.
I'll get you the money. I'll be back.
Tanya, where's Max?
-He's getting the car, I think.
-I need money.
-She's really upset.
-That money I gave you earlier, where is it?
Where's that money? I need it.
-What is wrong with you?!
-Is it in there?
-Will you calm down?
-Thank you for sticking your nose in. I
-beg your pardon...
I just spent the last half-hour putting these decorations up.
I never asked you to. It looks pathetic.
I don't want it. All I want to do is get married. Lucy, where's the money. Thanks.
-Ian! Come outside.
No, I'm not going anywhere with you.
I know what you're playing at. I've seen that driver of yours
-and I'm not going with him.
Get your hands off me. Otherwise I'll tell everyone what you've done.
What you both did, OK? How'd you like that, eh? You'd like that?
I think you've been on the bubbly already, ain't you?
You go and have a good time, mate, all right.
Yeah, I'm going to.
Cos pretty soon I'm going to be happily married.
Just you wait and see.
Just wait and see.
Ian, I've sorted out another motor.
Just keep the engine running.
There you go. Keep the change.
In a minute, OK? In a minute.
What you doing?
You need to get dressed. You need to put your dress on.
I'm not going to be getting changed, Ian.
Look. I've got you a bouquet. Here. Take it.
You better take this.
No. I can't. It's yours. You need to put it on.
We don't have to wait till the registry office.
-Look, it'll go on.
-I don't want it on!
Do you understand?
I don't want that ring on my finger.
Are you really that blind?
Look at you.
Look at us.
-What I've done to you.
No, I'm fine.
I've just been a bit busy, you know, what with one thing and another.
I just got a little bit...
Look, I just need to get changed, OK?
It'll take me ten minutes. Maybe five.
Yeah, I'll do that. Just wait there. You'll see.
Ian, I won't be here when you come back down.
No, you will.
No, I won't. I'm going.
I mean it.
No, you can't.
Because I love you.
I want... I want to marry you.
Well, I don't feel the same.
Was it... Was it something I did?
Was it something I said? No.
Was it something Lucy said?
If it was something Lucy said,
you can't pay any attention, because she's just a selfish brat.
She is. She is just a selfish brat.
You just chucked your daughter out the house, Ian.
Is it because I hesitated?
Is that it? Is it? But I had to.
I had to. Just think, OK?
I wanted you. I did.
I wanted you.
Why do you want me?
What do you think I'm going to do?
Solve all your problems? Make you happy?
Make YOU feel better about yourself?
Yeah, yeah, you have. You will. You do.
No, Ian. I won't.
You think I will.
You know, you hope I will.
You know, you think you'll stick that ring on my finger
and everything's going to be OK, you're whole world will change.
But it won't, Ian. It won't.
Because you'll still be middle-aged.
And I will still be empty...
and a complete waste of space.
-No, no, why are you saying that?
-Because it's true, Ian. It's true.
I've been here before.
You know, this close to getting married, and I never do it.
And do you want to know why?
It's because I don't want anybody that close to me,
I don't want people to see me for who I really am.
Look, I've been that close to you, haven't I?
I like you. I like what I see.
What? What is that, Ian?
Some second-rate version of Cindy?
No. No. No. That was just Lucy spouting off, OK?
That was Lucy, OK? That's not true. That is not true.
Ian, the truth is
you don't see me at all.
You know, I'm just the girl.
I'm just the girl that you could never get when you were sixteen.
You know, the girl that would never look at you.
You know, the one that always went off with the fit bloke.
But now you think you can get me, Ian.
You think you can wrap me up and keep me all to yourself
with your house and your money.
But you can't, Ian. You can't.
Because it doesn't work, you know?
It doesn't work upstairs
and it ain't working downstairs either.
Look, I know I've had some problems in the bedroom.
I know, but it's stress, OK? It's stress, all right? I'm fine.
I am fine. I'll go see a doctor. I will.
Darling, you don't need to go and see a doctor.
You just need someone that loves you as much as...
As much as you love them.
I really care about you, I do.
You're a good bloke.
Underneath it all, you're sweet and you're vulnerable.
You're a bit messed up, you know, like me.
But we don't fit.
And you know it.
Please, don't go.
I can't get it all wrong again.
Please, don't go. Just listen, just listen, OK?
You're not thinking straight.
Look, you're scared, OK?
It's only natural. So am I.
But as soon as you're married and you're Mrs Beale,
you'll have the most devoted husband ever, OK? I won't leave your side.
Not for one second, I promise you.
What makes you think that is what I want?
Do you know anything about me?
I lost my mother two days ago, Ian.
Do you care?
Do you care how I feel?
She didn't love me one bit. Not one bit.
And now she's gone, I've got no-one and I still don't want this,
I still don't want to settle.
So, do you get it now, Ian?
Do you understand?
I thought... I thought I could make myself love you, Ian.
But I just can't.
Please, Mand. Mand. Mand.
Please, please don't. Please, don't go.
I'll die if you go. I'll die.
I really will. Please.
Please, Mandy, don't go.
-Ian, get up, you're making a fool of yourself.
-I don't care! OK?
Mandy, please, just give me a chance. Please, I'm begging you.
Marry me. Please.
Just one chance. Please, Mandy, please. I'm begging you.
Marry me. Please?
Ian, darling, are you all right?
Did she hear me? Do you think she heard me?
Yeah, yeah, she definitely heard you, mate.
He's watching me.
Max, look. He's watching me.
Do you think he told her?
-Did you tell her to go? Did you?
-Did you tell her to go?!
What are you doing?
She's gone, love.
She's left me.
Just like all of them
None of them like me.
None of them. None of them love me. Why?
-Ian, why don't you come back inside, darling?
-We'll have a sit down and...
-No, it's all right.
Come on, Dad.
Come on. Come on.
Do you think I should go after her?
Why don't you sit down?
I can't sit down.
I can't sit down. Cos...
I've got things to do. I have... I've got things to do.
-Look at the mess in there.
I've got to...
I've got to phone the registry office
and I need to phone the cruise.
Why don't you make Bobby breakfast?
-He's really hungry, aren't you, Bobby?
You could make him that lovely breakfast you were talking about. Pancakes and syrup.
Yeah, yeah, pancakes and...
-Yeah, pancakes and syrup.
-Yeah. Look, it's all here.
-What do you say?
-Yeah, yeah, pancakes and syrup.
Bobby, you go and watch telly.
I'll be right back.
I'll do Bobby's breakfast, yeah?
Yeah, pancakes and syrup.
PAPER BAG RUSTLES
I mean, he's not making any sense at all.
-Do you think we should call a doctor?
-Go and get a doctor.
-I'll go. I'll go.
Why don't you go home and just keep an eye on him.
How bad is he?
I don't know. He keeps acting all weird.
If you're worried,
you know, if he does anything strange, says anything crazy,
you just give me a call, yeah?
I'll be there. Night or day.
Bobby, where's Dad?
POUNDING OF FOOTSTEPS
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
While Ian frantically tries to finalise his wedding plans, Lucy resolves to make her father see Mandy for who she really is. Increasingly concerned by Ian's erratic behaviour, Phil threatens him not to tell anyone the truth about Ben.
Tyler prepares a romantic meal for Whitney but ends up forming an unlikely bond with a lonely Derek, much to Whitney's dismay. Roxy confides in Christian about her growing feelings for Alfie, while Kim tries to convince a dubious Ray that she wants to spend more time with Sasha.