There is great anticipation in the Beale household over the relaunch of Ian's cafe. Roxy panics when Alfie goes missing after he is sent to complete another one of Derek's jobs.
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Where you going?
We're out of milk.
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These products have been chosen by professionals
for their quality, price and effectiveness.
You can't keep ignoring me.
This isn't fair!
He's been blanking me all day.
-Maybe he's been busy.
-What? Too busy to pick up the phone?
Leave him. He told you he don't know anything.
No. The Old Bill must've given him some idea who they think it is.
-Don't get too comfy. We're going over Billy's.
Because he's our only lead.
How long does it take to get milk?
So where is it then?
-Oh, sorry guys. Forgot it.
Listen, I need you both at the cafe after school.
-Oh, I can't.
-I'm going round a mate's.
-You'll just have to go later.
And I want you there as well. Mandy?
-I want you at the cafe. Four o'clock, OK?
-Yeah. Fine. Whatever.
-See you later, guys.
He's being really weird.
No change there, then.
-Ian's got me another shift at the cafe.
-Oh, that's good.
-So what's happened to Shirley then?
-Still not up for it, I suppose.
-You all right, darling?
Yeah, but you did promise we could go.
I said maybe. I can't afford to go to the cinema at the moment.
-Yeah, but I already told Shenice.
-Well, you shouldn't have.
-Go easy on her. She's just worried about losing her mate.
It's fine. I'll invite Shenice over for dinner tonight.
And feed her what? We've got half a tin of beans and a loaf of bread.
-No, I've got fish fingers in the freezer.
So, unless you plan on robbing another book club...
No, I won't have to. Cos I am going to make a fortune selling this stuff today, yeah?
I'll just go and do a shop.
Right. Well, don't get Tiff's hopes up until you're sure.
Get my hopes up about what?
Shenice is coming over for dinner.
You must know something, Billy?
I told ya. I don't know anything. I don't even know why they let me go.
-Or why he's off the hook with us all of a sudden.
-Because his story's been cleared.
-Him and Hev were going to leave.
-I've seen the tickets, Billy!
I'm sorry, Andrew.
Forget it. Got more important things to be doing right now.
Yeah, like finding out who did it. So, are you with us or what?
-No, no, no. I can't go out there.
-All those looks, eh, Billy?
-It's not nice, is it?
-Ah, just leave it. We'll find him ourselves.
Get out there and face 'em, Billy.
You've got nothing to be ashamed of, mate.
He's an idiot is what he is. Couldn't keep his mouth shut.
-Had to play the big man.
-Just sit down, will ya?
-Now he's talked himself into a prison cell.
-He's just a suspect, that's all.
That's all?! And what happens if Social Services hear about this?
-What you talking about?
-They'll take the baby away.
-That ain't going to happen.
-Too right it ain't cos I ain't staying around to let it.
Lola, where you going?
-What's wrong with her?
-She's upset about Billy, ain't she?
-I talked to Ritchie. He's going to be fine.
-They did arrest him.
-Just shows the old bill are getting desperate...
-I'm getting desperate and all.
I can't take this any more. Shirley talking about Heather all the time.
Just calm down. We've just got to ride this out.
For how much longer though? This ain't ever going to stop.
SHE ain't ever going to stop, Dad.
All right, boys.
Ladies, if you're looking for a bargain
this could be your lucky day.
Luce, look. Top of the range cosmetics, I've got here.
What you doing here?
Finding out what you're up to.
-What is that?
I'm not leaving till you tell me what this is about.
-It was meant to be a surprise.
I bought the cafe.
-Is that it?
-Oh, come on! Don't look so excited.
-Well, it's hardly a surprise.
You already told me you were thinking about it.
So it's a new sign then?
It's a new name. And don't ask
cos I'm not telling until everyone's here, OK?
Seeing as you're here, you can give us a hand tidying the place up.
It's all ours.
It's all ours.
How about Broadstairs?
You don't want to try somewhere a little bit more exotic?
-What? Like Brighton?
Of all the holiday destinations in the world...
-she chooses Broadstairs.
-Ah, Broadstairs is all right.
I'd rather be there than here right now, I tell you.
You heard from Derek?
-Look, you know I'm really glad you told me about that, yeah?
-He'll be in soon. Likes to remind me he's still around.
you've got to do something, you can't just sit around waiting for him to make a move.
-Well, I'm open to suggestions.
How about you give him what you made from the job?
Whoa. That's too much.
Just give him something, yeah? Get him off your back, Alfie.
I know, but all the money's tied up in the pub. I can't risk it.
So what you going to do?
I'll think of something. Going to do what I normally do. Talk my way out of it.
It's chosen by make-up artists, So basically...
people that work on pop videos, films, adverts...
Oh! Billy, listen. You done with the police then?
Yeah, for now.
Don't stop the tongues wagging round here though, does it?
I know. But did they say anything about...you know?
Alfie, they're not bothered about a poxy van robbery so you've got no worries.
-I wouldn't say that cos Derek knows.
-We kept your name out of it.
-Why don't you just have a drink?
-Rather have a job, mate.
-What about Janine?
-She had to let me go. I wondered if you had anything going.
-No, I ain't. Sorry.
-Come on, Alf. I got Lola. I got the baby coming.
-There must be something I can do.
-There's plenty, I just can't afford to pay you!
Oh, Michael! You look like a man who knows a bargain.
Make-up. You could buy some for Janine?
What's the matter?
-Why you crying?
-It's not the baby, is it?
No. I don't know. It just keeps coming. It must...
Must be my hormones or something.
-It's not funny.
-No... It is a bit.
-Take the rest of the day off.
-I can't afford to, can I?
Because I've actually got to clean out Heather's flat
-which I was meant to do a week ago.
-You're as rich as Croesus. I'll do it for you.
You're going to start cleaning?
No. Don't be ridiculous. I don't clean anything...
-SLAMS BOTTLE ON DESK
-..I'll get a minion to do it or a lackey of some description.
You going to cry again?
All right, Derek?
All right, Alfie.
Mind if I... Thought we could have a little chat.
Same again, eh?
Can't let him play you like this.
-Got no choice.
-You have, actually. You have.
Don't get angry with me...
Why would I get angry?
-I'm talking about Jean and her winnings.
-Stop talking about that!
-Alfie, she'd want to help you.
-Listen to me, OK?
I'm not going to take money off Jean.
Makes me feel small, all right? Just...
Billy. Who have you told?
-About me vouching for you with the police.
-Who have you told?
-YOU vouched for me?
Yeah. I saw you outside your flat.
-You ain't told no-one, have you?
-Nah, 'course not. I forgot that.
Least now I can get the gossips off my back, can't I?
-Clear my name.
-No, no. Bill, you can't tell anyone.
'Course I can. You're my alibi!
-I don't care.
-Mandy, I don't see what the problem is.
Hold up, I remember now. You was with a bloke, weren't you?
-Who was he?
You breathe a word of this and I will go back to the police
and tell them I made a big mistake. You got it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-You bought this place again?
I'll tell you what, it needs scrubbing.
-I want this place absolutely gleaming.
-There's nothing wrong with it, Ian!
Nothing wrong with it, Carol?! look at the state of this unit. Look at it.
No picking that.
-Just tell me what it says.
-Not until everyone else is here, OK?
Bobby won't mind and it's not like Mandy's going to come.
What do you mean she's not going to come?
I doubt she's too excited about you buying the cafe.
-She'll be made up!
-You've not called it something corny like...
Beale's Meals, have you?
-A Square Beale.
-Or, erm, Slap Up Beale.
Making A Beale Of It.
All right, ladies. Don't wet yourselves, OK?
Just for your information... I'm sticking with tradition.
You see, I've always liked Broadstairs.
Yeah, I can see why, Jean. That's where you should go, Broadstairs.
Maybe Roxy's right. Maybe I should try somewhere else.
Nah. Broadstairs has it all, Jean.
can I have a word, please?
Sorry. Come on.
-How's the make-up business going?
-Oh, great actually.
-Sold a lot, have you?
How do you fancy earning some extra money?
-Depends what the job is.
-Flat on Turpin Road.
-Oh, that's Heather's flat.
-Don't matter, does it?
Yeah, Michael, I can't do it. She got killed in there.
-Double time? Come on.
-I'd rather stick to the make-up.
How's it going?
I am all over the place. You've got no idea.
One minute, I'm up. Next minute, I'm down.
It's like I'm going through puberty again.
-What's happening with Heather's flat?
-It's all good. I'm on it.
-It's clean, Ian. Will you give it a break?
-I need to get it off.
Your father was never happier than when he was building an empire.
It's the entrepreneurial spirit, you know, Lucy.
Well, if he's such a big shot businessman, why buy this place?
This place was never just about business. This place was about family,
all right? It's part of us, all of us.
-That's why I wanted it back so badly.
-And you'll never let it go, will you, Ian?
I might one day...
to Peter and Bobby.
Maybe I should try bleach.
-Oh, it's just a stain, Ian.
-Carol, it needs to be perfect, OK?!
I'm popping out for a bit.
Lovely. Thank you, sweetheart.
All right, girls. What've I done?
I'd like you to have this.
-What is it?
-Something to help you out.
-No. No, I can't take it, Jean. Sorry, love.
You're my family, Alfie, and if I can't help family...
I really appreciate the gesture, darling, but I really...
I'm not taking no for an answer.
It was only collecting dust under my bed anyway.
I took it out of the bank because I don't trust them.
It would only have just disappeared with their big fat bonuses!
So I'd really like you to have it.
And you'll pay me back, yeah?
When you can.
What you trying to do to me?
I'm trying to help you out, Alfie! Come on.
-I told her it was for Spencer. Don't worry.
-Now we're lying to her.
-It gets Derek off your back. That's all that matters.
-No, that's not all that matters.
-Would you get over yourself?
Listen to you. Jean does not think you're small, OK?
Not Jean I'm worried about.
I think I'll take one of these. And two of the eye shadows.
See, told you I'd shift this stuff, didn't I?
-You did pick a soft touch though.
-Janine is no soft touch.
She knows quality when she sees it. Don't you, Janine?
-Actually, I think I'll leave it.
-What? What? You can't!
That was my first sale.
-Technically not a sale, was it, really?
Who am I kidding? I can't shift any of this stuff.
You're home early.
Yeah, I didn't go in today.
-Been helping Dad with something.
-Good for you.
Look, I'm not meant to tell you this but...
dad bought the cafe back.
-Why didn't he say?
-He wanted it to be a surprise.
Had it in his head that we can run it together. Family thing.
He's gone to a lot of trouble so make sure you come later on.
-Yeah. 'Course I'll be there.
bring your excited face cos it means a lot to him.
-Right, I'm off to get Bobby.
I'll come with you. In fact, I'll drive you.
-To get Bobby.
Then we can, erm, go together.
It's only me.
Just come to do a little bit of cleaning.
SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
I'll just get on with it then, yeah?
You going somewhere?
Oh, I get it. You're leaving me. Is that it?
-Well, thanks for your support, Lo.
-You're such an idiot!
Yeah, I must be, mustn't I?
For thinking that my own flesh and blood would stand with me!
You're not going to be here to stand with, are you!?
It's just going to be me and the baby.
Then what am I going to do?
You're worried about me going to prison. Is that it?
-No. Couldn't give a toss.
-Lola, listen to me. Listen.
-It ain't going to happen.
-You can't promise that.
-I got an alibi.
Not one I can tell people about. But I've got one.
She was with some bloke when she seen me.
..this bloke wasn't Ian Beale.
Lo, listen to me.
I'm not going away. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm going to be here for you and the baby. I promise you.
Can we put this away now?
Well, ain't like I don't try, is it?
I don't stop trying.
Doesn't really matter how hard I work, Heather,
it's never going to be enough, is it, eh?
I spent a fortune on that make-up.
Not one single person bought one measly mascara off me out there.
Now I can't even get a dinner together for me kids
and their mates. What's it all about, eh?
Oh! Hev? Oh, sorry.
-Food. Found it in the cupboard.
-What you doing?
-Launching it. It's a health hazard.
-Someone could use this.
Food of a dead woman? That's a bit weird, innit?
What about my wages?
We agreed that you were going to install it today.
I need that sign up.
No, tomorrow's no good, mate.
That's it. It's ruined.
-It's only a sign, Ian.
-No, it needs to be in the window.
It needs to be perfect!
It looks pretty perfect to me.
You look gorgeous.
Well, I got the feeling this was a bit of an occasion.
-Yeah. You could say that.
-Lucy's already told us.
-I'm going to kill you.
-No, no, no. Don't. She meant well.
-And anyway, we think it's great. Come here.
I mean, it ain't every day a man buys a caff for his family.
-No, you could say that.
-And we brought you a present.
You shouldn't have.
SHE LAUGHS No, really, you shouldn't have.
SHE CLEARS HER THROAT
What do you want?
Came to ask you if you'd give my pops his job back.
-Can't do that, I'm afraid.
-Cos he's a no mark
-and a thief and he stole from us.
-He stole from Janine and it ain't like he took you for thousands.
Excuse me, that nursery stuff was not cheap.
Listen, this is all my fault.
-I've been nothing but trouble since I got here
and what with the baby coming, he just got desperate.
All he wants to do is be a good granddad and take care of us.
How moving. That'll be a no then.
-Don't look at me! Don't look at me.
I know it's not much but I figured I owed you something from the Drayman job.
That's very noble of you, Alfie.
Yeah, well, I just thought we should square things up.
Well, I don't think this quite makes it.
What you talking... Why not?
Because you took me for a mug.
-Yeah, but it was nothing personal.
-Well, I took it personal.
Now I own you, Alfie.
And you're going to have to work very hard to make it up to me.
Rox, tell Jean, Spencer's sorted, all right? Thanks.
Well, if he has put your name over the door,
-you should be honoured.
Bit weird but... nice.
You'll be on half wages until you've paid off the debt.
Agree to that and you can start back tomorrow.
-What made you change your mind?
-It's been a very weird day.
-I need to go.
-Hey, Janine! Thanks.
-Not me you need to thank.
-I went and spoke to her.
-I don't think I want Billy hanging around here.
-He's not doing any harm.
-Then why would the police nick him?
There you are. You hungry?
We got some pizza.
They're out there, living their lives...
as if nothing's happened.
-They think they can kill my friend and not pay the price.
I can't sit here playing happy families knowing that they're still out there.
Kids! Your tea!
-Fish fingers and beans.
-Aren't you eating?
-Yeah. I've had mine. Look.
-I'm not eating that.
-I want to go home.
-No! Not yet. Erm...
-Where's your dinner?
-Bin. It's disgusting.
Ladies and gentlemen, if I could just have your attention for a moment?
This was supposed to be up in the window
but turns out the installation company's completely incompetent
so I'm going to have to do it here instead.
Ladies and gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to unveil...
-I'm so sorry.
-So much for family, hey?
Oi. Listen up everyone!
I know you all think he did, but my Pops,
-he didn't kill Heather and he's got an alibi to prove it.
Cos she saw him... she even vouched for him,
but she won't say anything because she was with some bloke at the time.
-What you doing?
Muffins, mostly. And some fairy cakes.
She even used to collect the toys from those cereal boxes. Look.
Like a big kid, really.
OK, I think I'll go out for breakfast.
Can I have a word with you?
Nigella's neater than me but I reckon she's probably got staff.
Day one of Mandy's Cafe. Start of a new era, eh?
I wanted to do something. Especially after...er...
Look, don't we need to talk about it?
What, about your ex-fiance Alex?
Nothing happened, Ian. I didn't sleep with Alex.
-I don't want to talk about it, OK?
-Because you believe me?
No, because we've had this conversation before, haven't we?
A couple of times now.
Your mum warned me you'd move on when you found someone richer.
And you ignored her, like I ignored Alex.
See you later.
-I'll come with you.
-Yeah. I mean, I'll do a shift in the cafe.
I know you've said no in the past, but, well, it's my name up there now. It's my reputation.
We can make this work, Ian, together.
DOOR OPENS AND SHUTS
So how's it going, then, the whole Shirley moving on thing?
What do you want me to do, eh? Give her a slap every time she mentions Heather's name?
Phil, honestly, I don't know, OK?
But if you ever want this house to stop feeling like a morgue,
-you've got to do something.
What do you want?
Good morning to you an' all. I've had Ben's school on the phone.
-You all right, Ben?
-What do you want?
Your teacher wants to know when you're going back.
Tell 'em today.
Tell 'em he'll be back at school this morning.
Actually, I already did. I just wasn't expecting you to back me up.
When everything's normal, normal 16-year-olds go to school, don't they?
And normal is how things are going to be from now on.
-I am banning the word normal from this house right now.
-Dad, I'm not ready.
-It'll take you five minutes to put your uniform on.
-I don't mean that, all right?
There's no point. You even said it yourself. I ain't going to pass any of the exams.
In a few months, you'll be leaving school anyway, with no questions asked.
-How did you get away?
-Just ran. Are you sure he's not safer here?
-He's safe wherever he is.
-I mean, who knows what he's thinking from one day to the next,
-or what he'll say.
-We've got to get things back to... FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
But they're not, are they? However many times you say it.
Right, you ready, you two? >
-We're all hungry, son,
but if I'm late for work today, I'll get the sack.
Come on. You know who my new boss is, don't you?
BOTH: Ian Beale.
-Exactly. Let's go.
-We could always ask my dad for money.
No, we can't, Morgan. Come on.
-KNOCKING ON DOOR
You had breakfast?
Please don't make us go back there. Please.
Come on, then. Hello, beautiful.
Right, we ready, then?
-You're seriously walking us to school?
-As long as your dad don't find me and break both my legs.
-I thought you were joking.
I can't be trusted to walk on my own?
Can we just go, please?
You have got some serious gossip to catch up on.
You know Bernadette's obsessed with that biker called Fin?
And Josh is back with Chantelle.
And Ashley dumped Rhianne again so he could hook up with Casey.
And apparently on Saturday at Abdul's party...
You're not even listening, are you?
-Well, I am, Abs.
What happened at Abdul's party?
I feel for Shirley, I really do, but it's like the funeral's still going on or something.
-You going to eat, baby?
-Rox, you can't just flick a switch and stop missing someone, can you?
No, I know, but you've got to move on some time, ain't you?
There you go.
It must be weird for you.
Is it weird when you wake up and Kat's not there?
Nah. Miss her cooking breakfast. But if you're going to keep bringing round these every morning...
You'd have to winch me behind that bar.
Not a chance. You'd still be gorgeous. You know what they say -
a little bit of what you fancy does you good. These are lovely.
-Thanks, darling. See you soon.
Right. I might as well leave you to it.
Doesn't look like you're going to be rushed off your feet today.
-Just wait till word spreads that we're under new management.
Think positive! That's what I say.
And I just want you to know, Ian, that I'm so glad that you're my boss again.
I've always really enjoyed working for you. Just wanted you to know that.
And you're sure you're going to cope until Marie gets here without scratching each other's eyes out?
-"I just want you to know, Ian, I've always loved working for you."
Some of us need a job.
Some of us don't go through life using blokes to get what we want.
Yeah, well, some of us have that option, Bianca.
-But seeing as we're stuck with each other today...
-Do you know what today is?
It's Ian's first day back in the cafe and I'm going to make sure it's a success.
It's mine and Ricky's wedding anniversary, from the first time.
You do remember Ricky, don't you, eh?
Another bloke you chewed up and spat out and didn't worry who got hurt.
Funny how life catches you up, innit?
If you want to be Ian's golden girl, don't expect any help from me.
-You know, I could get him to sack you in a heartbeat.
From what I saw, you're on probation every bit as much as I am.
That table needs clearing.
Pass me that one.
Where are they?
Those boxes of Heather's. You took 'em, didn't you?
They weren't doing anyone any good sitting there, were they?
And you thought I wouldn't notice? There's valuables in them.
Oh, yeah, yeah, like a 1994 George Michael calendar
and a hula hula skirt?
Shirl, you can't carry on like this.
And I can't carry on like nothing's happened either.
Where are they?
You'd better not have broken anything.
Andrew's coming round later to see if there's anything he wants to take.
How can you look her in the eye, eh?
Yeah. The make-up bag, it's in the front room.
Will you bring it over? All right. Thanks.
There you go. Home-made. Enjoy.
-All right, Mandy?
-Yeah. You all right, Max? You're looking very handsome today.
-What can I tempt you with?
-Just a cup a tea, please.
Tea, please, Bianca. Something to eat?
-No, you're all right.
-Have you had your breakfast today, Max?
-He said he don't want nothing.
-Come on, you're wasting away.
Why don't you have a nice fry-up?
-Go on. You've twisted me arm. Go on. I'll have a fry-up.
-Cheers. I'll bring it over.
-You should think about selling motors.
-I can sell anything, me.
-You have, ain't you, really?
Look, B, why don't you just forget about what you think of me for a minute, all right?
We both know you need this job. So what's the best way of keeping it?
To impress Ian.
Right. And what's the one thing Ian's always impressed by?
Look, how much does this cafe normally take in a day?
Couple of hundred?
We can smash that if you just take that lemon out your gob and work with me.
Look, the better this place runs, the less time Ian spends here.
-What can I tempt you with today, then, sir?
-Tea and a cupcake, please.
-She feeling any better?
-I was going to go shopping with Christian
-but I think I'm just going to get her home.
-Just leave her here.
-Listen, you don't want to be moving her if she's feeling like that.
-She's all right with me, ain't she?
-She loves you.
-Come on, she's only human. Go on, you get off shopping.
Yeah, yeah, go on. It'll be fine.
OK. All right.
Give Mummy a kiss. I love you.
You be good for Uncle Alfie, yeah?
-You know I've got your back, don't you?
-Yeah, I do.
-See you later.
Right. I think a story's in order.
Oh, hello, Dot. Welcome to Mandy's. What can I get you?
I was just wondering if you could change this 20 for me?
-Yeah, yeah, course.
Till's a bit full, actually, it could do with emptying.
What do you reckon, then, boss?
Lovely to see the place so busy.
-Your mother would be ever so proud of you.
Yeah, very impressive. How?
Sell snow to an Eskimo, she would, your missus, Ian.
I only come in to see me brother. "Try my muffins," she said.
Helpless, I was.
-You shut your filthy face, you!
-Still flirting, are we?
I wasn't flirting with you. I wouldn't.
You disgust me.
I'm really sorry. Sometimes she doesn't know when to stop.
Someone should teach her, shouldn't they?
Oi. You don't believe that, do you?
What, you've spent all morning manipulating men into getting what you want?
Nah, bit far-fetched, innit?
-What you doing here? What's happened?
Do you want a chip, Jay?
You promised you'd go to school.
Yeah, and I will. For now.
-No-one said I had to stay for lunch, though.
-What do you mean, for now?
You going to the gym again?
Is...um... Is everything all right, Jay?
With us, I mean. Are you sure?
Yes, we're fine.
-Come on, tell me all about it.
-All about what?
I want to know all the gossip about school.
-That smells really nice, that.
-Mmm, berry. Nice.
Mmm. Where did you get it from?
Shenice got it for me as a little present. It's really nice when they get a bit older
and they start treating you like a mate, you know?
You must have that with Tiff, Bianca? Thank you for the tea. Cheers.
-Oh, she's in Iran with her boyfriend.
Did you not get the postcard?
HE PRETENDS TO LAUGH
I'd recognise that sparkle anywhere, Roxanne Mitchell.
My new lip gloss, innit?
I don't think so.
Who is he?
-No. No, no, no...
-Come on, we tell each other everything. They are the rules.
No, no, not this time, OK? I'm not jinxing it.
-That's because he's ugly.
Don't tell me he's married.
I'm not telling you anything.
I knew it. Come on, who is he?
Christian Clarke, eat your fairy cake and change the subject or I'm leaving.
Anyone at home? Oh, Ian.
Everything all right?
Well, I don't know. Is it?
Only you tried to talk to me a couple a weeks ago
and I was so het up and I just couldn't listen to you. I'm so sorry. But I'm here now.
Dot, thanks, but I really need to get myself to the chippy.
-Everything's fine now, honest.
-FRONT DOOR SHUTS
It didn't seem so yesterday in the cafe.
Look, I really need to get going.
I'll see you later.
You all right, love?
Lucy, can't you talk to him?
I know what you think of Mandy, but she does make your father happy.
Mandy makes him look like the complete prat he is.
-I didn't even think Dad would be stupid enough to name a family business after that tramp.
So, no, Dot, no, I can't just talk to him.
If you don't mind, I don't have long.
-Here you go. That one's on the house, OK?
-Thank you, Alfie.
-Hey. You all right?
-You all right, sweetheart?
-There it goes! The alarm. Time to check on the patient.
-Have you been running up every five minutes to Amy?
-Nah! Every ten. It's all right.
Does my brother know that you're palming his daughter off to all and sundry again?
-Ah. I'll go up.
-No, no, I'll go.
-And when I'm done, I'll come down here and I will help you out behind the bar.
-That'd be lovely.
-I couldn't think of anyone else I'd rather spend the afternoon with.
Yeah, other than, you know, Billy Bonds,
or Sir Bobby Moore, God rest his claret and blue soul.
Yes, mate, what can I get you?
This how you spend your days now, is it?
-Choosing between sandwich spreads?
-Give us a break, will you?
Ain't it about time you started thinking about going back to work?
One problem - I ain't got a job.
What, you surprised? Ain't you got any mirrors in your house?
Tidy yourself up, clean your shoes and be at the R&R for 6.30, yeah?
It's about time you started thinking about the future instead of the past.
-6.30 sharp, yeah?
Thanks. Thanks, Phil.
Weirdly, that is not the worst thing I've been called today.
Over there, hun.
You're Mrs Butcher?
Who wants to know?
Miss Woods. Tiffany's form tutor.
-You're Tiffany's teacher?
-Sorry to disturb you at work.
-It's all right. Has something happened?
-No. You just didn't attend Parents' Evening last night.
This is sort of on my way home, so...
You didn't know it was Parents' Evening, did you?
I didn't know Tiff had a teacher that's only a year older than her, either!
I can show you my qualifications if you like.
But I'd rather talk about Tiffany's recent behaviour.
Not telling you about last night is typical, I'd say.
-Have you got kids?
Cos I'd say it's typical of most kids Tiff's age to forget things.
Tiffany's struggling in some subjects, Mrs Butcher,
She hasn't said anything to you?
It's funny, because every other teacher that Tiff's had
has said that she's really clever.
I'm not saying she's not bright. I'd just like to get her some extra help.
Well, you're the teacher.
Is everything all right...at home?
Yeah. Yeah, it's fine, thanks.
Right. I'll be in touch, then.
Everything all right?
-I'll have a tea.
-Thanks for that.
-It's all right.
-Kim's coming to have a look in a minute.
Where's all my lip gloss?
-You want nuts with that an' all?
I reckon this is it for you two, you know, after you couldn't quite fly the nest last week.
-I reckon you two are going to live together for all time.
-I think you might be right.
I can't see any right-minded woman putting up with the amount
of Undercover Elite Night Cops I have to watch every night.
Oh, yeah, whereas they're queuing up
-to listen to old sing-along with Sinatra here.
-Oi, don't you say nothing about Frank.
I know what's keeping you up at night -
all that crumpet I keep bumping into at the toaster every morning.
Well, look. No ring, I can do what I like.
Anyway, I'm going to go see Penny in France tomorrow, so that flat's yours.
Oh, right. She'll be lost without you. You all right, B?
-Come on, Bianca, I keep offering to help you.
Knocking lipsticks out in pubs?
I'm trying to run a business, actually, Derek. This is my stock.
What you laughing at, Max?
My kids rely on me selling this stuff, just like yours rely on you selling motors, yeah?
Bianca, if I could fit what I was relying on to feed my kids in a bag that size,
I'd start considering alternative business models.
THEY CHUCKLE Oi, Shenice!
Amy, oh, sweetheart, what have you done?
Oh, wow. Have you been...?
Oh, look, you've got it all... OK, come on.
That's Mummy's. Come with Alfie, we'll go and give you a clean-up, yeah?
-You nicked make-up out of that bag when you was round my house last night.
-Oi, oi, what are you doing?
-Shut up, mind your own business!
-Shenice is my business.
-I didn't steal, honest.
-So where did you get the lip gloss from?
-From Tiff. She's been giving it to everybody at school. Honestly.
Right, you listen to me - I believe you, all right, sweetheart?
Why don't you go and get changed upstairs, yeah? Amy's up there. Go on, off you go.
I don't know what is going on, but you do not take your problems out on little kids.
Don't tell me about kids!
-Oh, come on, you two.
-Least my girl gives her mates something they want, not nits!
-Why don't you talk to Tiff?
-Well, we do talk!
-Yeah, course you do.
-Yeah, we do!
-ALL SHOUT AT ONCE
Stop! Bianca! Right, get over here.
-Derek, get off of me!
-Derek, get your hands off her now!
I'm all right, look, I'm all right. I'm OK. I'm really sorry.
-TEARFULLY: I'm sorry, Roxy, all right? I've just had a really bad day.
-What's the matter?
It's them two! Thanks for nothing.
Bianca. What's going on?
MOUTHS: You OK?
-You got through it, then?
-Yeah. I told you, it's pointless.
-Why is it, Ben?
Because once I get that psychiatric report, I'll be out that school for good, Jay.
Oh, so you're going to use your psychiatric report to get out of school, are you?
Even by my maths, I reckon we're still 50% up on the average.
-Where have you been?
-You've been skiving, haven't you?
-Course you have.
You thought, "It's Ian. He's soft, I can take advantage and have a laugh behind his back."
-So how about I sack you right now?
-No. Won't be laughing then, will you?
-I won't, but you can't do that. Please.
-Give me one good reason why not?
Because she has killed herself working in here for you today.
Look. We both have.
Are you not even going to count it?
I didn't buy this place to get rich.
Did I just hear that right?
Honestly, I just don't know what that man wants from me.
Well, you can't win sometimes, can you?
At least you've still got your family.
-What would you care about my family?
-Oh, Bianca, I don't!
Thanks. Thanks for what you did then.
I'm in a mess now, but if I lose this job....
What sort of mess?
I've taken out these loans...
I don't know if I'll ever be able pay it back.
Yeah, I've got my family.
A mum that can't ever know... ever know what I've done.
My uncles think I'm a joke.
And a thieving daughter who...
..can't add up and won't even talk to me.
Why won't she talk to me?
Shall we stop smiling now?
-She tried everywhere to get one of them.
-She told me about when that happened.
Yeah, she got really upset.
Oh, look at this. The first time we went clubbing down the Walford Palais, me and Hev.
-You should definitely keep that, then.
-All right, Phil?
-You're cutting it fine. Thought you was going to be at the club at half six?
Shirley invited me round for tea, so I swapped shifts with Mac.
I don't mind late nights, especially with the way I'm sleeping.
Shirl thought you wouldn't care, anyway.
Nah, nah. Why should I?
She wouldn't even let me shave my stubble, you know that?
-What, cos of that?
-Cos of him, yeah.
If you need help, we'll get it, but you have to tell me. As for the lip gloss...
Shenice and the others always get new stuff.
-But I never get anything.
..it's hard for all of us at the minute, Tiff.
Liam's having to do extra shifts at McClunky's
and I've got to be nice to Ian Beale.
Yeah, but we still can't afford anything.
And I haven't got anyone to buy me football boots like Morgan.
What do you want silly football boots for?
Whatever it is that you wish you had, it's never all right to steal.
You do it.
We've been through this - I've paid for my mistakes.
Did you pay for that or nick it from the cafe?
..sometimes adults have to do things just to keep their head above water.
Sometimes kids have to do things just to keep their friends.
Everything's going to be all right.
All right, sweetheart. Same again?
No. I better get back.
Hey, listen, I bet Ian right now is laying that table
and he's cooking up a storm as we speak.
Just imagine it. I'll never forget a few years back, he cooked this meal for my nan.
You never met my nan. She was a lovely lady.
See, I reckon that's what it's all about at the end of the day, Mandy -
-having someone to go home to, and just share your life with.
-CHRISTIAN CLEARS HIS THROAT
Right, what can I get you?
I want you to tell me that you're not in love with him.
I can't. OK?
Well, are you going to tell him?
-BANGING AT DOOR
All right, all right.
-Stop... Stop banging, I'm here!
Where's the fire? There's no fire, Alfie.
All right! >
I've got a job for you.
There's no pleasing some people, is there?
-You moan at me when I don't tell you nothing,
and then you don't like it when I do.
Meet me outside the cafe, 8.30.
And I mean as in SHARP, none of your pub times.
And then what?
Well, meet me there and then you'll find out, won't you?
Hold on, you get me out of my pit at some stupid time in the morning...
What, to tell me to meet you in a couple of hours?!
Hour and a half.
Derek, listen, mate. With all due respect, I'm...
I'm not really cut out for this...
What, getting your hands dirty?
You scammed me. Hmm?
Then you lied to me.
Do you really want to make it three?
You're a nosy so-and-so, ain't ya? Your mother never tell you what curiosity did to the cat?
-Whoa, whoa, Derek.
-Whoa, whoa. You got something to say, have you?
Outside the cafe, 8.30.
And put some strides on, Alf!
Turn all the punters off looking at your skinny pins!
CAR DOOR SHUTS, ENGINE STARTS
-Done my wrist in doing this lot.
I've written my name and number at the bottom and the house number,
so anyone can call with any information.
Police have done that.
-Say the person was doing something that night and they didn't want the police to know.
I don't know, having it away with the crown jewels!
I just want to see if anybody knows anything.
Might not do any good, but it can't do any harm.
-Got a lot to catch up on, ain't I?
Anyway, what's all this?
Listen, Rox. I've got no choice, darling.
Yes, you have! You have! He says, "jump," you say, "no," Alfie.
You don't say, "Yes, Derek, how high?"
I didn't steal money from him, not exactly, but I still owe him.
I owe on my store cards, they just ask me to pay,
they don't turn me into some sort of criminal!
We don't know this is criminal. Not for definite.
It's this simple - I pay one way, or I pay another, OK?
Pay how? Hmm? What's he got you mixed up in?!
-I can handle it. Whatever it is, I can...
-And that's it?
-You do this job, whatever it is and the slate's wiped clean, is it?
-He said that, did he?
-Yeah, well, as good as.
No, Tiff, you can't!
-Cos I say so.
-That's not a reason.
-Cos we're skint.
Look, they're on offer. Two for one. That means they're half price.
-It must be.
Cos you can get two for what you usually pay for one.
So, half of 58 pence, is...
Half of 50 is 25, half of eight is four, add them together, that's...
Still too much money. Come on.
29! That's 29 pence!
Yes, it is! Although, two for one doesn't work like that.
Yeah it does, we just did the sums and everything.
Well, you did them so well...
it's my treat?
Come on, say thank you.
As it happens, Masood, you're really good at sums, aren't you?
Look, Uncle Max!
Oh, hello, darling! What have you got there? Chocolate and...
What's up with her?
-How should I know?
-You should. You're the one who upset her.
-She had a right go about it in my charity shop.
Bus goes from George Street, don't it?
If you don't go to school you'll have the truant officer on your back
and all the teachers'll get involved.
You're meant to be keeping your head down!
Yeah and I will be! Once I get this psych report, anyway.
I don't care what that says.
Oi! No school's going to say, "Oh, don't bother coming back," are they?
That psych report's important, all right?
Ain't just a get-out-of-school card.
You got any post for Number 55?
Let me have a look.
Eh...there you go.
You all right, Derek?
-Bang on time.
-What's happening? Where are we going?
Stop your rabbiting, you'll find out, won't you?
Come on, then.
You seeing him this morning?
Roxy, you've got to stay away, you know that.
Yeah, I know.
-I'm not going to see him for the rest of the day, anyway, cos he's busy.
How should I know?
-What can I get you, mate?
-A jumper, please.
-Here you are.
I'll get you another. You're an XL, yeah?
I've got another one, somewhere.
-I'll give you a special price, two for one?
B, let's have a look at that stuff you're knocking out.
-Come to have a pop at me again?
-No. Just want a look.
I know you've got the hump with me, no reason to turn down business.
-I'm not turning down business, Max.
But charity can just get stuffed!
-Oh, well, that went well(!)
-You would have done better?
She couldn't have done worse.
Well, go on then, prove it.
What I meant earlier, whatever it is,
I'd only end up letting you down.
I'm not trying to talk my way out of it,
but this ain't my usual thing, all right?
I'll only end up messing things up for you, so...
-DOOR BANGS Mum!
You ain't come to order some stuff an' all, have you?
Uh, no. No, I've come to invite you all round for something to eat.
Oh, more charity then?
-Liam ain't here, anyway, he's at his mates.
-Right, well, the rest of you, then.
What, after the way you all ganged up on me?
I didn't, actually.
Max humiliated me, so stuff him and stuff you.
Bianca, this wouldn't be charity,
it's more of a peace offering,
an apology for Max being so out of order
and he'd have said sorry himself if you'd have let him.
I know you've never had to apologise for anything
cos you've never been out of order in your life before,
but he has and this would be our way of saying sorry.
What are you cooking?
-Roast dinner. All the trimmings.
Mmm, two puddings. A crumble and a trifle.
-What sort of crumble?
All right then, thanks, we'll come.
Where's Amy, at nursery? Good.
You can give me a hand with these.
Look, put some up in Bridge Street and if there's any left,
do Turpin Road, all right?
-Rox, are you listening?!
-Yeah. Yeah, OK.
All right, where is he? Where's Alfie?
Alfie? No, it's not ringing any...
Oh, do you mean Alfie who runs the Vic?
Cheeky sort of chappie?
Quite entertaining sometimes, then other times gets on your nerves?
You're fond of him, aren't you?
He's a mate.
And you don't find him kind of irritating sometimes, hmm?
Like a fly buzzing round your head, yeah?
You put up with it for the longest time, then suddenly you just go...
I can't live with that.
You can't just take it down, can you?
Ben ain't going to be able to handle it either, is he?
Can't be easy for you either, can it?
Ben ain't bothered, is he? Only cares about one thing.
Nothing. Just school and that.
His psychological report's due today.
It's doing his head in, all of it, he's all over the place.
Jay, we've got to stick together on this.
If we start turning against each other, then...
..no-one's going to come out on the right side.
And there is one, is there... a right side?
Yeah, there is.
Alfie, it's me. Where are you?
Max. Look, I wouldn't ask, all right,
I wouldn't, not if it wasn't important.
Can you have a word with your brother?
Which one, Derek?
-He's up to something.
-That's a surprise(!)
-Max, it's something iffy.
-Yeah, hold the front page!
It's some sort of job.
What sort of job?
I don't know, but he's got Alfie mixed up in it.
Right, and you want me to find out what it is?
He might be my brother but I'm not going to go sticking my nose in.
I'm attached to it, you know?
Come on, just a quick word, that's all I'm asking.
Alfie is a big boy. He can look after himself.
Abi, give me a hand with these bags, will ya, please?
-In a minute.
-Why, what's so important?
-Well, you won't have a problem telling me, will ya?
-Leave the girl alone.
Yeah, and she's told you. It's private!
Meaning a boy.
Have you said something?
You just have, though.
Alfie, look, it's me.
Can you just please call me when you get...
Jean, what's happening?
I'm signing this delivery docket.
Oh! He's had to go away for a bit.
Derek's looking after it.
What d'you mean, go...? Where's he gone?
Not literally, obviously!
I did ask. Derek didn't say.
Just said, "He's gone off,"
and I said, "Like a piece of meat that's past its sell-by date?"
He just took the keys and went. That man's got no sense of humour.
And he's OK, is he?
And he definitely hasn't missed any classes?
OK, thanks. Well, just keep me posted, yeah?
No...but there's no harm in checking, is there?
I told you, it don't matter what Ben said,
his head's all over the place right now.
He managed to get to school on time and he ain't bunked off any classes.
At least that's some good news.
So who is it? Is it a skanky little boy from school?
-We're down with the kids these days, aren't we?
Ahem... No, he's not from school.
-I bet he's skanky, then.
-I never said that.
There's got to be some reason you're both being so cagey.
Are you seeing Jay again?
-I know you don't owe him any favours.
-You took the words out of my mouth!
-But he could be in real trouble.
-Well, he deserves it.
-What do you want me to do?
-Just find out what he's got Alfie into.
And how am I supposed to do that?
-You lost your tongue suddenly?
-He's not going to tell me!
So what do I do? Why is Derek going to tell me anything, eh?
Cos, Phil, you might be a little more persuasive than me.
Oh, I see. In other words, lean on him?
If that don't work, lean on him more, next thing, World War Three's broken out!
Oh, right. It's not like you to duck a fight, is it?
It's not like me to fight battles for others.
This is simple, Alfie's got himself in trouble...again.
Alfie's got involved in something that he shouldn't have done...again.
And I...I don't give a monkey's!
Can I just have two teas, please, Marie?
So what happened?
The psych report?
I thought that'd be it - one look at what that shrink said
and the school would tell you to go and put your feet up.
What does he know, anyway?
I don't know. What did he say?
A load of rubbish.
-Meaning, a load of rubbish, Jay.
What did he say?
It's a waste of time.
-We've got to take something.
-No, we haven't!
What, we just go and eat their food and then say thanks?
-Tanya doesn't expect anything.
-Makes it even worse.
Oh, happy birthday.
Oh, late card from my brother, AJ.
Wonderful excuse to eat more cake.
Why don't we give them some of the two for one?
Yeah, nice idea.
We go and eat their food and give them
some cut-price, mouldy old chocolate to say thanks.
There's six of them, so that means you only pay for four.
-That's what I meant.
-I know you did.
-Do I get another bar, then?
-What, for working that out too?
It's fine. As it happens, you are really good with the kids
and sums, ain't you, Masood?
-Jay's had a tough time lately.
He'll have a worse one when I get hold of him.
-I'm just glad I can help him.
-Oh, is that what you call it, yeah?
Yes, it is, so don't be so juvenile!
He's special to me and he's in a bad place,
and I'm making it better.
Please, Dad. Do not make me feel bad about doing something good.
-How old is she?
-How old are you?
-DOOR BELL RINGS
-"Is that what you call it?"
-Addams Family are here. I'm off.
No, you're not. Give me that.
-We've already had Abs go walkabouts.
-We all know where she's gone.
Do not go anywhere!
Marie, can I have a cup of tea to go, please?
Oi, Roxy, what's so important, cos you've been blanking me all day?
I'm trying to get hold of someone, OK?
-What? Hair appointment?
-I keep getting the answerphone.
Hold on a minute, hold on.
Alfie? Alfie, are you there?
Alfie, talk to me. Alfie, it's me!
'Are you there?'
No, sorry. Wrong number.
Is that the report?
-Phil's going to want to see what it says, ain't he?
He's probably forgotten about it by now.
-He mentioned it this morning, Ben.
-Well, if it ain't here...
But it is, innit?
So, let's take a look.
I'm not saying it's a good thing.
-Obviously, cos then you might have told me.
-But I'm not saying it's a bad thing.
Jay Mitchell? It's all bad where he's concerned.
-Not according to Abi.
-What does she know?
-Enough to put you in your place.
This is like history repeating itself.
All right, fair enough, I know I've said all this before.
No, Max. I mean, my mum.
Lecturing me about you.
Really? Interfering wombat.
The point is, Max,
I followed my heart.
And, no, I'm not saying it's the same,
but I'm not saying it isn't, either.
It's going to get cold!
There's a promotion on down the Minute Mart,
two for the price of one.
Looked at it, and I instantly thought of you.
Now I've seen you, though,
I don't know whether two bars is going to be enough.
Well, we both know how it works, don't we?
One bar, that's for when you're in pain...
..two bars, when you're in agony...
..but this is a married man we're talking about, Rox.
You'd know all about that, wouldn't you?
Yeah, I would.
That's why I've got three and four.
-So, Tiff's got a tutor.
-Yeah, well, kind of.
Mas, but he's been good, been really patient with her.
Helping you through your adding up?
-Yeah, and that an' all.
Tiff, Tiff. Please, can you calm down a bit?
-No-one's going to take it off you.
-Like to see 'em try.
Look at her, it's like she ain't eaten for a month.
Give her a couple of months, she'll be doing algebra and stuff, won't you?
Just something old people used to do.
Morgan, what are you doing?
What is that?
-What...? Let go!
They were for later.
-All right, darling?
-Are you all right? Are you hurt?
No, I'm fine, sweetheart. Why?
You haven't been answering your phone.
-No, I lost it, didn't I?
-Derek answered it.
He must have found it. You know, when it drops down the side...
He told Jean you wouldn't be back for ages,
then some blokes drove off in your car...
-Listen, he made me get in the car with him and then...
-No, shut up!
Listen to me, I thought he was going to do...
Thought what, eh?
I was impressed, the boy did well.
Or was you going to say something else?
He was collecting my laundry.
That was the job, was it?
Yeah, what did you think it was?
I'm sorry if I gave anyone the wrong impression.
Oi, oi, oi!
Rox, for Heaven's sake, what are you doing, darling?! Rox?
Rox, what are you doing?
Oh, and...thanks, Alf.
Yeah, cheers, Derek.
Rox, what's the matter with you?
-Just calm down.
-Get off me!
Tiff's got a little something to say thanks.
Thank you, you didn't need to...
They were two for one. But I ate some.
-Shut up, Morgan.
-I've got something for you too.
-You might as well have it, I'm not into Sauvignon.
And for the kids, cos... You were enjoying these, weren't you?
Yeah, we were only going to bin 'em.
Hang on, you're doing it again. So, you was either going to bin 'em or give 'em to us?
No, he didn't mean that.
-Course he didn't!
-Come on, B, it's just a thought.
Nice thought, nice, but we've got spuds at home, thanks.
-No, we haven't.
-We have, come on.
-What about my roasties?
-See ya later.
-"Going to throw 'em in the bin"?!
Don't pull any punches, does he?
Well, I've only met him once, he don't know anything about me, well, not really.
This ain't really about you, is it? Most of it's about me.
-He don't know you, either.
-Ain't stopped hanging me out to dry.
He don't understand anything about us.
He keeps going on about how...
..how you want to be like me...
..and do what I do.
What's wrong with that? You're my dad.
According to him, that's the problem.
So, what are you saying?
No, you're not turning on me, too, are you?
No, never, son. I promise you. Never.
It's just... Don't you see what he's saying here?
You know, what's happened with Heather...
I haven't told him anything about that.
Was that you doing what you thought I'd do?
-Is that what this is all about?
-He don't know anything about it.
Ben, look, you're my son... and I love you.
Yeah, I know.
Not according to this, you don't. According to this...
Look, Dad, I've told you, it's got nothing to do with it!
Ben, you're my son and you always will be.
And you never, never have to prove yourself to me.
Yeah, I know.
So what d'you do that for?
Alfie, leave me alone.
No, no, no, listen! Rox, the bloke is a psychopath.
-You cannot go round hitting psychos!
Especially now - the bloke's losing it, big time.
You should have seen him today. Firstly, he drags me... You saw it.
I get in the car, couple of big heavies get in,
we drive round, chatting away - nice as pie, seriously -
and then he asks me to pick up his laundry.
We come back and he asks to borrow the Capri.
I mean, what's all that about?
What it's about, Alfie, is really simple.
-He's worked it out, hasn't he?
Worked what out? I...
Sending you off on that stupid, stupid errand
and then coming back here to twist the knife.
What you on about?
-You know what? Just, just, please go.
-No, no. Go where?
-Leave me alone!
-First, stop shouting. Second, you're talking out your backside.
-What are you on about?
-We ain't going to get a minute's peace now,
-not now he's got this new stick to hit us with.
-Rox, what stick?
Why can't you see?! Do you really not understand?
I can't believe you can't see it and he can,
because he's got it well and truly sussed.
I thought I was going to lose my mind today, OK?
I thought he'd done something, Alfie, and he loved it.
He loved seeing me in that sort of state
and the worse I got, the more he loved it, so he's got me,
hasn't he? He's got me, which means he's going to do it again and again and again.
OK, listen, today was... Today was just a misunderstanding.
To be honest with you, I don't quite get it myself.
Today was a game, Alfie, and I fell for it.
-Look at you.
How can he see it and you can't?
Rox, seriously, sweetheart... I don't understand what...
I love you.
OK, and grandad loves Roxy...!
I love you, Alfie Moon.
You get it now?
Please just go.
What, and you call that useful information, do you?
Yeah, same to you, mate. Pinhead.
-Where's she been?
I've got a bit of fillet off Red Alex.
Thought I'd do a steak night? Few beers, the lads, yeah?
Dad, what's she up to?
Don't worry about it, come on.
So, I had them make this out of the fabric.
Yeah, well, it matches the colour theme.
I was going to wear blue.
Why were you going to wear blue?
Well then if there's no reason, you can just wear the pink.
Pink is a girls' colour,
If you were paying for the wedding,
Michael, then you could wear the blue. But you're not, are you?
So, you can't.
Ah, Mr Moon. Usual?
What's all this, then?
-What? It's beautiful.
It's disgusting. She wants me to wear it for the wedding.
-I want to wear the blue. The navy.
Cos it gives me smoky eyes.
It makes my eyes look dark and mysterious. Like James Dean.
Oh, listen to yourself. You deserve the pink, you do.
Here you go.
-You all right.
-Yeah, you all right?
-Yeah, all good, good.
So, uh, what...?
-I've got a shift.
-Course you have.
I haven't. I thought I'd volunteer.
Because you can't do Friday night on your own, can you?
No. No, that's c-correct.
Do you mind me being here?
No, course I don't.
I love having you around anyway, you know that.
OK. All right.
-Is this it now?
I've been stuck in this miserable house all week.
Come on, we should go out.
We deserve a bit of fun, don't we?
And go where?
I don't know. R&R?
R&R! What, a fiver a vodka? And split one drink between the three of us?
No, we'll have a drink here first
and then get someone else to pay for it when we get there.
All right, fine. You sit on the top of the oven and pick your toenails.
-Don't you dare, that's disgusting!
that's a nice tie.
I'll leave you to it.
Sorry. Sorry, I'm having a bad day.
I had to tell a kid he can't train with us anymore.
Can't pay his subs. He's skint.
That's a shame.
It is, because he was good.
What's he going to do?
I don't know, same old. Rough boys up that estate, so, you know...
Never mind though, eh? Who cares? Cos I get to get married in that.
Alfie! Oi! Cloth ears.
Sorry, what was it? Same again?
Alfie said you wanted a word?
I just wanted to go over with you
what you saw
the night Heather was killed.
That's why I didn't make a statement.
I had good advice. Don't speak to the police,
unless you're absolutely sure of what you're saying.
Sorry, I couldn't have been any help.
You had good advice not to say anything?
-Who gave you this advice?
Hello. How are you?
Yeah, I'm all right.
Yeah, Tiff's in there.
There's a door. Hello.
That car alarm has been going off for about two hours.
It's driving me mad. I feel like I want to kill myself.
Come on, come on, let's go.
It's going to cost us loads for booze, innit.
Masood is in there maths tutoring.
If we play our cards right, he'll babysit for Tiff and Morgan.
-Would that be all right?
-Hello! The booze!
-We have got loads of that left from last night.
We'll take it with us. Come on.
No, we can't take it. Security. They check your bags now.
Who said anything about bags? Hello!
You never put salt on till they're in the pan.
Otherwise it draws out the moisture and they go tough.
Can I help?
-No, we're all right.
-No, I want to.
Well, set the table if you want.
Just had a chat with Jean, over there.
Is that right?
Yeah, about the night Hev was killed.
I mean, she said she didn't see anything.
But I just wanted to be sure, you know.
That'll be Andrew.
Is that OK?
Yeah, yeah. More the merrier.
So, the T-shirts cost £6 each and John has £42
and he wants to know how many he can buy.
So, how does he calculate that?
Why doesn't he just go in and say he wants £42 worth of T-shirts?
Yes, but how many would he get?
As many as they give him.
Yes, but if he wanted to calculate that, that would be
42 divided by six.
That'll tell us
how many £6 T-shirts go into his £42.
So what's 42 divided by 6?
You don't need that.
42 divided by 6.
-Why can't I use it?
-Because you don't learn that way.
Well, it tells me the answer.
Yes, but you wouldn't understand it.
I do understand it. The answer is...
Yes, but how did you get that seven?
With the calculator.
Can you give me a minute?
Put the bandage, if you put the bandage round there, it'll be fine.
I'll tie it in a knot... Mind my boobs!
All right, if we want to do this properly,
it's got to involve your boobs.
It's so funny. It's so tight, isn't it?
I'll never be able to dance.
Come on Mum, liven up. We're going out.
What's the matter?
Everything all right, Masood?
-I just need a hammer.
-It's under the sink.
-What do you need a hammer for?
-To illustrate a mathematical problem.
-You all right?
you just let me know if you need anything else, yeah?
-Yep. Will do. Thanks.
What's he want a hammer for?
He's a lovely bloke, Masood.
Listen, listen, did you actually ever get away with this?
-Course she did.
-Cos them bouncers, the dodgy ones, they pat you down.
-Let' em try.
It's a nice little calculator, isn't it?
I like it because it's pink.
Have a look?
Bet that felt good.
Yes it did. It's just contemporary educational techniques.
You all right here for a bit? If we just pop out for a while.
Yeah, yeah, we've got lots to get through, haven't we?
You OK, babes? You all right. We won't be very long, all right Masood?
Right. 42 divided by...7, let's say.
I've still got the calculator on Whit's phone, you know.
I've still got the hammer.
Yeah, all good.
You fancy a couple of drinks after, when we're done?
Yeah, why not.
-What, just you and me?
Alfie. There's a small person eating crisps here.
Shenice, what are you doing? You should be in bed.
-It's fine, it's fine, I'll deal with it.
-I got it.
-No, no, it's good.
Come on you, let's go, let's go.
Hoodie, hoodie, hoodie. It's like they're obsessed with it.
It's that photo frame I'm interested in.
Can we talk about something else?
What do you suggest, Philip?
Our interest in the upcoming Olympics?
Jean said she was going to the police to make a statement.
And then she changed her mind.
Well, she probably had her reasons.
Yeah. Said you told her not to.
Yeah, that's right.
What, you said that?
Yeah. Well, not exactly that, no.
Well, what exactly did you say?
Just, you know, to be sure.
Sure of what?
Well, you know what she's like.
She gets confused.
Says something stupid, the wrong bloke goes down.
Anyway, she didn't see anything, did she?
Give him a break, Shirl.
He was only trying to do the right thing.
Now can we talk about something else?
Well, I tell you, if the police don't find that photo frame, then I will.
It's got to be somewhere.
You haven't got anything on you, have you?
Oi. Oi, all right!
Mind how you go.
-All right, darling, I'm just doing my job.
-I ain't got no bag.
We made it! Go and get some tap waters
and we'll fill it up with this.
Why do I have to go?
Because I've got the bag on me.
-Cheer up, for god's sake.
-I'm perfectly happy, thanks.
-Well, give us a little smile then.
-Yeah, smile! Go on.
Pillocks. Go on.
-She's going to start figuring things out.
-Yes, I know.
Well, stop helping her. Who cares if she's talking to Jean?
Jean saw Andrew.
Why do you think I stopped her talking?
She was going to give him an alibi.
If Shirley finds out, she'll wonder why I wanted Andrew to go down.
And who I was covering for.
You did that for me?
Of course I did it for you!
It's all been for you.
Everything I've done has been for you.
Got any more beers? Shirl wants them.
Yeah, I'll get them.
Just give it a rest, Ben.
Jay, I just want one place, all right?
One place, where he don't have to lie.
I just...I just want to help him.
Oi, Jimmy Dean, your tie.
Michael. Just before you go.
This is an opportunity.
I don't follow.
The boy you had to turn away.
Train him for free.
And get him to bring all his mates
and create a programme specially for them.
Brilliant. But we don't have any money, do we?
Come on, that's for a rainy day.
And this is my rainy day.
I mean, how better to spend my money on helping those
boys from the estate?
And in time, when the gym is making money,
you'll give me it back with a share of the profits.
That's not a bad idea, Jean.
Let's talk in the morning. Night-night.
What a woman. What a woman!
Those boys are going to love you.
I'm not popular up there.
-She in bed?
-Yeah, she's in bed. Drink?
Let's stay down here, yeah?
-Oh no, no, I'm not finished.
Has she gone?
All act normal.
I am acting normal.
I can spot you a mile off.
All right, give it here. Give it here. Whit, take that one.
Oi you, calm down. Calm it. Calm it.
I can admire, can't I?
-No, he's not bad.
-Not my cup of tea, though.
-Not as good as Tyler.
-No, I know why. Cos you love ponytails?
-She always liked a ponytail, back in the day.
-I did not! I didn't.
Yes, you did. Ricky had a beauty.
Ricky had a ponytail?
-Yeah, it was as rich as a lion's mane.
All right, no it's not.
So what, even if I did like ponytails?
It ain't a crime, is it?
Is it a crime?
Is it a crime to like ponytails?
No, it wasn't. Lads? Oi lads!
I love a ponytail!
I love ponytails.
If you're not rocking a ponytail,
then I ain't interested in you.
I need another little vodka.
-Get me a vodka.
-Him in the red shirt.
-See if you can get one out of him.
-I'll do it.
You ain't in. Come on, Carol.
-He ain't got a ponytail, but he'll be all right.
-For goodness sake.
Hurry up, please.
All right, come on, come on.
Hello, have you met my mum?
-This is my mum.
-And I bring her out.
You know, Roxy I've, um...
..I've not been completely clear with you. And it's my fault.
You know, I should have been more up front with you last night because, um...
..I don't think this, you know...
..I don't think it could work.
I don't think it could ever work.
Right. Well, I know.
You're amazing, and all that. And if it wasn't for...
Well, you know, there's just other things to think about.
You can say her name.
It's not just Kat.
What is it then? Is it me?
No. Rox, Kat's not just Kat, d'you know what I mean?
Roxy, she's Tommy, she's...
..she's Shenice, she's Jean, she's this place.
You know, seriously, if it was just about you and Kat...
But it's not. It's about a lot of other...
I'm not explaining myself very well here, you know.
You've explained it perfectly.
Grandad, ain't I? Dodgy barnet, lairy shirts.
I'm hardly a catch, am I, Alfie?
What you talking...?
Oi, you come here... look at me.
..promise you, you are a princess,
And someday, one bloke's going to see that.
Don't cry, don't cry.
It'll be just around the corner.
And when he does see you, he,
I promise you, he's going to love the hell out of you.
I'm going to be so jealous.
Because he'll have hit the jackpot.
Oi, come on, don't cry.
..I'm going to go.
No, Rox, you don't have to.
No, it's all right. It's for the best. Bye.
Seriously, you OK?
That stupid car alarm has been going off all night, hasn't it?
..I can't work for you anymore, OK?
Oh, this is interesting.
Oh, that's nice.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
That's so good.
That is my contribution.
From now on, you want anything,
you're going to have to fight me for it, girl.
My wedding, my money, and I'm so wearing the blue.
Are your eyes always that dark?
-That's a result! I've still got it, ain't I?
-I'm sure you have.
What's the matter with you, getting all shirty for now?
Well, cos I didn't bring you up to tart yourself out for drinks.
Well, you was doing it! It's only cos you didn't get one.
-But you can have mine.
-I don't want it.
-Come on, Mummy.
-Give me one from there.
-Oh no, it's leaking.
Look's like it's burst.
Looks like you've wet yourself.
Get me a tissue!
-It's running down your leg!
-I swear, this has never happened to me before.
I look like I can't control my wee.
Oh, right, yeah, I'm glad somebody thinks it's funny.
I'm the one who looks like I wet myself.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is my daughter.
It doesn't matter how old you are. I always have to look after you.
Look at you, getting all stuck up.
You just think you're better than everyone else.
-What you talking about?
-Yeah, you do.
-No, it's not.
I was just asking why are you coming out, anyway?
You're a misery and all you do, you just wreck everything.
It's all right, you,
cos I was just going anyway.
Cos I've wet myself.
Ladies, we've all had a drink, all right? There's no need.
Shut up. Shut up.
-Shut up! Shut up!
-Bianca, stop it!
Shut up! Shut up! CAR ALARM
-I didn't even know I still had that in me.
D'you know what, you're amazing, love.
-Shut up, I ain't talking to you.
-No, listen, no, you're right.
I'm a miserable, mean old cow.
But you're beautiful, you are?
You know, you keep this family together. Come here.
I'm sorry, Mum. I'm sorry.
-You're so stupid!
-Sorry, sorry, sorry.
-You were talking in your sleep. About Heather.
-What did I say?
Just saying, I'm a kid and I want to make you proud.
Look, next time Shirley won't be downstairs with the music
so loud that she can't hear you.
Next time she'll be there. She'll hear. That'll be it. She'll go to the police.
I can't control what I say in my sleep, can I?
I'm just scared, Dad, that's all.
I mean, me, you could kill. Cos I'm a right pain.
But Hev? I mean, she wouldn't even spray ants.
She used to like, bang her hands on the table and say...
"Shirl, Shirl, just let them know they're not wanted."
Don't mind me, will ya?
We keeping you awake?
Yeah, you were as it happens, yeah.
I should, uh, I should probably make a move.
No, no, you're all right.
No, it's, uh, it's fine.
Thanks for dinner, Phil.
Sorry about this, Andrew.
Don't worry about it.
-We'll, uh, we'll go over everything in the morning, yeah?
So, we were keeping you awake, were we?
Yeah. Yeah, you were.
I'm trying to find a murderer, here.
You know what? You're doing my head in. You're doing all our heads in.
-She was my best mate.
-So you deal with it by torturing all of us?
I'll deal with it the way I want to.
Why don't you go and deal with it somewhere else, then, eh?
I don't want to be around you like this.
What? Hang on a minute. What? You're chucking me out?
Yeah, yeah. I suppose I am.
Go on. Go upstairs, pack your things and go. Just go, will ya?
You think I want to stand and look at you a minute longer than I have to?
Are you serious about this, Phil?
Yes, I'm serious. Listen to you, just yapping on. Just go!
Go on, get out!
-All right, I'm going.
Thanks for everything, Phil.
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
There is great anticipation in the Beale household over the relaunch of Ian's cafe. Lucy eagerly awaits the reveal of its new name - but will it be the surprise she hoped for? Roxy is left panicking when Alfie goes missing after he is sent to complete another one of Derek's jobs, while Ben gets the results of his psychiatric test and tries to hide the report from Phil.
Whitney, Carol and Bianca's night out ends disastrously when Bianca and Carol have a drunken row. Michael is put out when Janine tells him he needs to contribute financially if he intends on making decisions about their wedding.