21/09/2012 EastEnders Omnibus

BABY CRYING

FOOTSTEPS COMING UPSTAIRS

Quiet as the grave in here. Where's me welcoming committee?

Jean? What's happened?

Right. I'm off.

All right, sweetheart. Do you fancy a film tonight?

-I thought you had plans.

-They got cancelled.

Sorry, Dad, I told Lauren I'd go to hers. But we can go tomorrow?

-Yeah, all right.

-Bye.

-See you later.

DOOR SLAMS

DOORBELL AND LAUGHTER

-Tanya?

-LAUGHTER CONTINUES, BELL RINGS

-Tanya still here?

-Yep. Follow the racket.

What's the matter with you? You got the hump?

Refill?

-Jack?

-Sorry, what?

-You OK?

-Yeah, just trying to get in touch with my daughter.

Ain't spoken to her for a while.

-You want some more tea?

-Yeah. Go on.

I did mention it to you last week.

You need to get the stronger cream from the chemist

and if it doesn't work then take her to see the doctor.

Do you have to write it down? It's only a bit of nappy rash.

I have to write everything down for the changeover.

Someone else will be taking over as of tomorrow.

Eh? But we don't want no-one new.

Don't worry, the new case worker will have all my notes,

there'll be no disruption.

-And there's nothing else troubling you?

-No. I'm just a bit tired.

All right. Well, good luck with everything.

-And make sure you get that cream.

-Yes, I will.

-Thanks, Graham.

-Thanks.

See you.

Brilliant.

That's all we need, isn't it? Someone new sticking their oar in.

Who cares? Social workers change all the time. They're all useless.

I've got to go or Janine's going to go mental again.

All right, well, I'll pick up the cream.

-I've got to go see Jay anyway.

-Er, no, Lo.

I don't care what he said, I can't just stop seeing him.

Forget it. He's right, OK? It's too risky.

-But, Pops...

-I'll see you later.

Great.

-I bet Alan Sugar eats breakfast.

-When I'm making his money, then I'll stop for breakfast.

You can at least have this.

No time. The cleaning stock's arrived, I've got to sign for it.

-Five minutes is not going to hurt.

-This deal is going to set us up, it's three grand profit.

Mm. Nice wedding fund.

And this is just the beginning, I promise.

KNOCKING

-What are you two doing? You know it's nearly half nine.

-Come in.

-BABY CRYING

-You're good with kids. Can you sort her out for me?

-What's wrong with her?

-I don't know.

-Where's Janine?

-Gone away.

-Where?

-It don't matter.

Well, when's she coming back?

Can you just go upstairs, please, Billy?

What, she's just left Scarlett?

-Why's she gone away?

-Attention. It's an attention thing. Women do it, Bill.

And when she comes back - which she will -

I want everything under control.

So that means I look after the firm and you take care of the child.

But... but Michael! Michael, I'm not a babysitter.

And no-one needs to know about Janine. That's really important.

-Yeah? Shtoom.

-OK.

BABY CRYING

Michael, hi. I'm looking for Janine. There's no-one at the office.

-Janine's not around.

-OK. Right. When will she be back?

Later.

Who in their right mind would leave an expensive wedding dress outside the charity shop?

Someone who didn't want to get married?

Don't look at me, I got rid of mine weeks ago.

If you two are going into town, drop it into the dry cleaners for me, eh?

What's wrong with the laundrette?

I don't trust the laundrette. Not since Dot's left.

It's nice. It's got to be worth at least two hundred quid.

If Max pulled his finger out, you could use it.

-Haven't you set a date yet?

-He's still working it out.

We're not asking him to choose the lottery numbers.

Mum, just give it a rest, yeah?

He's been in a right mood since last night.

I think it's just work stressing him out, you know. I don't want to push it.

Hi, Billy. I've got a parcel here for Janine.

-She ain't here.

-I tried the office but it's shut.

Yeah. Michael's over there now. But Janine ain't.

-BABY CRYING

-Oh, has she left you with Scarlett?

No, no, Michael has.

Well, there was no one else to, you know...

Look, Mas, I shouldn't really be saying anything. I'll just go check on her.

-Has something happened?

-No, no.

No, no, no, everything's fine. Everything's normal.

-She'll be back soon.

-Mm.

-Not that she's gone anywhere. Exactly.

OK. Erm... maybe you can sign for it?

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah, you see? I think I could pull that off.

No, you need a more '80s vibe.

Big old shoulder pads, nice long train...

-Bridesmaids in peach...

-Oh no, peach ain't my colour.

Excuse me, who said you're a bridesmaid?

By the time you two get married we'll be best mates.

Living in a retirement home.

DOOR SLAMS

Hello, love. You all right?

Er, just... I was looking for my phone. You ain't seen...?

It's in the kitchen. Yeah. It's in the kitchen.

Someone dumped it at the charity shop, babe.

We were just... Just mucking about and that.

-I'd better make a move.

-All right.

-Cos I'm meeting Jack in the Vic.

-So...

-Yeah.

-See you later.

Bye.

And she left the baby behind?

I don't know if she's definitely gone - Billy wasn't talking much sense.

-TEXT ALERT

-Tamwar. Your phone.

You know it wouldn't surprise me if she had.

Those two feed off drama like oxygen.

Maybe I've got it wrong. Billy was being a bit evasive, that's all.

-TEXT ALERT

-Tamwar!

-Zainab. Do not read his messages.

-He won't see. Sh!

Tamwar, you'd better get down here right now!

Yeah, I'm fully aware that Mrs Butcher is handling it

but I'm a partner in the company, you see, so I can sign the documents and I'm taking over.

No, Mrs Butcher isn't here, she's away on business.

I haven't spoken to her today, no.

Well, why don't you ring your boss and then give me a ring back, yeah?

This... This is not how you run a business, Tamwar.

I'm just a bit behind, that's all.

A bit? Let's see - when was the last time you filed anything properly?

Huh? Would it be...

Yeah - July!

-Afia had a system. I've got to work out my own.

-When? Christmas?

I told you I don't want to do this any more...

Why don't we go to the cafe and let Tamwar sort this out?

If you want to go to university then we need to save for it.

And while we are saving for it, you need to be on top of the business.

I'll fix it. Just don't go on about it.

A nice, soothing herbal tea, that's what you need. Come on.

And don't think I won't be checking up on you.

-So when was this?

-Last night.

Jean reckons they've gone on some second honeymoon or something.

-It's a bit sudden, ain't it?

-What, they didn't say where?

Nah, man.

Yes but you're not running the pub, Mo Harris. I am.

Alfie's message was perfectly clear.

You know, I haven't just resigned from the flower stall and done all this for nothing.

I'll go back to Fat Elvis, then shall I?

If I weren't here you'd still be spinning on the spot in your pyjamas.

I told you, I am serving, you're helping Ray in the kitchen. Now go.

The power's gone to your head, Jean.

-All right, mate.

-Hello, guys.

-I'll have a pint, please, and...?

-A half.

-I'll just have a lemonade please.

-All right, no worries.

-I haven't got any cash, have you?

-Fats, it's on the house, ain't it?

-Is it? Oh, thanks, Fatboy.

-Nice one, mate, cheers.

-Er...

-Love you!

Mine's a vodka and tonic.

If Kat can go swanning off on some romantic getaway, I deserve a bit of fun too.

Be sitting there.

Sorry, Jack. I'm going to have to shoot.

-Aren't we going through the paperwork?

-Later.

Max, come on...

I just wish he'd follow your example, you know?

Take business seriously. Make a go of things. Make them successful.

You heard the rumour? Apparently Janine's disappeared.

-What?

-There's no rumour. You're only just starting it.

You're the one who said that she wasn't even there to sign for the parcel.

-And Billy was acting all suspicious.

-Evasive, I said - evasive.

I said at the wedding they would not last past Christmas.

And why leave the baby with that man?

I mean, you might as well leave a baby with Darth Vader.

All right? You got the paperwork for the flat then, yeah?

Erm, it's at home. I didn't know if you and Janine still wanted it.

Yeah, yeah we do. We do. That was just a blip.

-I want to finalise it today, yeah?

-OK.

-Well, I can meet you at the house in a few hours.

-Yeah. Yeah.

Two?

Good.

God, his eyes give me the creeps. I bet baby Scarlett cries every time that leans over the cot.

I've got to go.

Look, we can't keep avoiding each other, this is mental.

-It's not mental, it's sensible.

-But I don't do sensible.

I'm doing you a favour.

Hey, hey, hey! No more freeness, man!

You can talk! I've seen you sneaking drinks over to your mates.

This is for the bloke round the corner.

Oi, Mo. I need some help in the kitchen, man.

-I told you to help Ray.

-I can't be everything to everyone, Jean.

All right. No problem.

Yeah. I'll see you around, yeah?

Why are French and Saunders behind the bar?

Kat and Alfie have gone away. Holiday or something.

Alfie didn't say anything about that last night.

Hello, Michael.

-Michael...

-All right?

-I just heard about Janine going.

Sorry, I didn't realise...

If you need a hand with Scarlett, me and Christian can help.

-Janine's gone?

-No, she's not gone.

She's just gone down south for a few days.

I bet that's one of them euphemisms, innit?

Where you got her buried, Michael? Under the gym?

Very droll, Derek. Well done.

Thought it sounded a bit drastic. Let me get you one.

Er... Look, I know you weren't too keen

but Janine agreed to buy those cleaning products.

-She shook on thirteen K.

-Did she now?

Yeah. They're ready for you, at my lock-up.

And, the thing is, I said I'd pay the supplier today.

-OK. I'll write a cheque, I'll bring it over later.

-Thank you.

That's great. Well, catch you later then, yeah?

I didn't have time to get that special cream but Michael's got loads of it, look.

You won't let me see Jay but you don't mind me using nicked bum cream?

It's not nicked, it's borrowed. Get her on the changing table.

So why are you looking after Scarlett, anyway?

Because Michael's useless and Janine's done a runner.

-What, she just left the baby?

-Yep.

-But you don't do that if you're a mum, you don't just leave your baby.

-Janine does.

Poor little thing. Where is she?

Asleep upstairs.

I saw Jay earlier. He wouldn't even talk to me.

Well, that's good.

How is that good? The social worker could already see I was miserable.

-This new one's going to think I ain't coping.

-But we are coping, Lo.

But Jay staying away ain't helping anyone, is it? Especially me.

This is last week's takings.

-Oh!

-£206?

Minus £206.

-Did you count these?

-I counted everything.

How is this possible? After everything we've put into this place, how is this possible?

He had a slow week, that's all.

It would help if you took the business seriously. Like your brother.

What's Syed got to do with this?

Do you not want the Argee Bhajee to be a success?

-Think about everything we've put into this place.

-I will fix it.

-We need to have a family meeting,

-Mum, Mum, I said I'll fix it.

Get off my back.

Is it hot in here or what? I'm boiling.

-Is it true? About Janine?

-Nah.

She's got a business. And a baby. And me.

-How is Scarlett?

-She's fine.

-Where is she now?

-I said she's fine.

I knew this would happen. One of you had to destroy the other.

-One of you had to win.

-She ain't won nothing.

We're a partnership.

And you're both going to look out for each other, right?

And no arguing and definitely no nicking each other's boyfriends.

-Yeah?

-DOOR CLOSING

Pops, you said you'd be five minutes. If Michael'd walked in he would have killed me. Yeah!

-What are you doing here?

-Billy thinks we should have a chat.

Er - you didn't ring those up.

-Sorry, what?

-On the till. You didn't put them through.

Yes, I did. You're stressed Jean, sit down.

-Has she been handing out free drinks?

-Um...

You have. Mo Harris, how dare you!

I'm not the only one. That lot have had at least two rounds.

This stops right now.

Right.

Just a bit of an announcement, please, everybody. Thank you.

Just to say, the Queen Vic is not a charity.

If any of our staff have mistakenly served you without charge today,

then you have to leave before you pay...

I mean, pay before you leave the premises.

And if you don't pay before you leave the premises...

um, then you're barred.

-Barred?

-Yes. So pay up or...

Erm... Get out of my pub!

No, I mean it.

Nice one, Mo.

If the Social see me hanging around and realise who I am then...

Well, yeah, we'll be careful, won't we?

I'm not going to beg but things would be a lot better if you were around.

-You've got Billy, ain't you?

-And we all know what he's like in a crisis, don't we, eh?

Why are you staring at me like that?

-Like what?

-All... soft.

For the first few days you couldn't even hold her. Look at you now. All mumsy.

Well, I ain't got a choice, have I?

-She's lucky to have you, you know.

-Yeah. Britain's Best Mum.

Sitting in someone else's house, on tag, using nicked bum cream.

-Let me put her dummy in?

-Now who's all mumsy, eh?

Shut up.

Dum-dum?

Ahhh...!

Come on, Jay. You know you miss us. Eh?

And you're not going to survive the next few months without mates.

So is it true what they're saying? About Janine?

No. It's gossip.

She'll be back. Butcher's Joints'll be booming. You'll see.

Very good. Right.

Yeah. So, I'll get my solicitor to sign the bank transfer

and do the completion papers.

-He'll ring you this afternoon, yeah? To confirm.

-Mm-hm.

Shall we shake? All right then.

Job done.

Yes. all right, Poppy. Don't worry about it. I won't be long. OK. Bye. Bye.

How'd you get on with the dress?

-Oh, yes. You can pick it up Monday. And it cost sixty quid.

-Sixty?

You get a nice box with it, don't you?

-DOOR OPENING

-Oh, well, that's all right then.

-Babe, you in?

Hello, darling. We're in here.

You all right?

-What's that?

-For you.

It's a calendar.

-Yep.

-It's a calendar with cats on.

Yeah, sorry it's a bit battered.

It was the last one in the shop. Been in there all year.

Why are you buying me a calendar?

Christmas eve? What about it?

It's a good day for a wedding.

SHE GASPS

-That's a turn-up for the books.

-You know me, Cora. Full of surprises.

-Michael, hi. Come in.

-Cheers.

Listen, thank you so much for sorting all this out.

You know, when I heard about Janine going...

-Well, you know...

-Yeah.

So... do you have the cheque?

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, right, yeah.

That's for you.

You think I'd do a deal with a no-mark like you,

somebody who makes deals behind my back?

Blabs about my private business?

Listen, I'm sorry about that. It's just, when...

-When I found out about Janine going, I didn't know what to think.

-Yeah, yeah. You're an idiot.

Michael, you can't go back on the deal.

Janine shook on it.

You're not quite cut out for this entrepreneurial stuff, are you?

-What?

-All this tatty tourist gear knocking about

and a cheap shed-load of bleach. Dodgy cleaning products.

It's hardly the start of an empire, Syed.

That's the difference between me and you.

Cos while you were sitting around, waiting, doing nish, I was out making moves.

I bought a flat, just like that.

But you? You're like a desperate little puppy dog.

And desperation stinks.

Michael, I need that money, I told the suppliers I'd pay them today.

We had a deal! I had a deal.

Not with me you didn't.

Excuse me.

-Why do I have to do it?

-Because. You've got them big sad eyes, ain't you?

-Fatboy?

-Mmm? Yes, darling?

We don't have enough cash.

So I was wondering, could we pay you half now, and then half later?

You don't have to do that, sweetheart.

-But we don't have enough cash.

-It's been sorted. Your dad paid.

Cheers, Uncle Derek.

He's really thoughtful sometimes.

Yeah. He ain't got no-one else to spoil, has he?

TV PLAYS, DOOR OPENS

-All right?

-Where's Scarlett?

I got the magic touch, ain't I?

Any word from Janine? It ain't like her to disappear.

She ain't answering her phone, either.

Scare tactics, Bill. Don't be duped by it.

-Better head down to the office, yeah? Man those phones.

-Of course.

-Cheers for this.

-No worries.

She'll be back.

There must be something we can do. I mean, you can take it back, right?

Look, I'll even slip you fifty for the hassle.

It ain't going back. Where do you think it came from at this price?

But I can't afford to pay you.

You've got till Friday.

Just give me... Yeah, just let me know.

Let me know what your thoughts are. Cheers.

KNOCKING AT THE DOOR

Sorry, I tried calling.

I've been sourcing more properties. What's up?

It's past half five and you said your solicitor would be in touch.

-He's not called?

-No. I just want to make sure there's not a problem.

Yeah. Come in. Go through. I'll give him a ring now.

-Michael Moon?

-No. Billy. Billy Mitchell.

You're an employee of Butcher's Joints?

I'm Executive Director Of Operations. Why? Who's asking?

No, I'm not in the office.

I'm not in front of a computer, so just tell me, please.

-Is everything OK?

-Yeah, yeah fine.

-SCARLETT CRIES

-Just... Can you give her a cuddle?

-Me?

-Yeah. Brilliant. Two seconds.

Yeah?

What was that?

Oh. OK. How much? How much has she transferred?

What's left?

Right, you've got to freeze everything! Now, please.

-Just everything.

-BANGING AT THE DOOR

Michael, Michael, come to the office.

No, of course, it wasn't me! Don't be stupid.

-Michael, you've got to come!

-Billy, shut up!

-Which accounts?

-She's upset, she wants her dad.

-She's upset.

-Michael, you need to read this! Michael!

There he is. There's Daddy.

-Hey.

-Tell you what, once we get this little one to bed,

me and you are going to celebrate.

Your deal!

It might cut into your three grand profit but I didn't think you'd mind.

I'll cook us something special. Make a night of it.

-There's no need to make a fuss.

-I want to.

We want to. Cos we're proud of you.

-Hey! Watch where you're going.

-Get out of my way.

Hey! Oi, you. You can't do this.

Michael. I tried to stop them. But they got this letter from Janine.

What are we going to do?

She can't do this to me.

Nobody does THIS to me.

Who is it?

Hey!

Pops!

Oh, Lo!

Pops, pass us the nappies.

Oh... Watch Lexi, I'll go get more.

Hello!

Lo, you can't leave her like this. She'll catch her death.

I won't be long.

And then...

we're done! Let's have a look at you.

Oh, look at you. That's lovely, isn't it?

DOORBELL RINGS

Come here. Come here. What's your mum forgot now, eh?

Shall we go and see? Let's go and see what she's forgotten.

Come on then. There we are.

Mr Mitchell?

I'm Trish Barnes, Lexi's new social worker.

-Oh, right.

-And this must be little Lexi?

-Yes.

I've done this for you.

It is a checklist,

to help you keep on top of everything at the restaurant.

After yesterday I think it's important, don't you?

So you've mentioned, several times.

I don't mean to nag, Tamwar...

You're succeeding anyway.

Right, that's me off to the gym.

-Thanks for looking after Yas for me.

-My pleasure.

-Did Sy tell you about the deal he closed?

-What?

-See ya.

You see! Your brother...

Oh. Comparisons to my more successful older brother,

that's bound to be great motivation.

I'm just saying he's got drive, he's got get up and go.

Where are you going?

Getting up and going.

She'll be back soon.

She just popped out to get some... some nappies.

Sorry I took so long, I met Jay.

Hi, Lola. I'm Lexi's new Social Worker.

And you're Jay...?

Er... Brown.

-I believe you've been attending the mother and baby group?

-Yeah.

-Have you found it helpful?

-Oh, yeah. She loves it.

-Don't you, Lo?

-Yeah, it's all right.

OK.

Why don't we put Lexi in a proper nappy,

and then I'll have look at her.

OK.

I hope that's a clean towel.

(What was I supposed to do?)

You know how important stable employment is, in Lola's situation?

Very?

Exactly.

So, I was concerned to see the Butcher's Joints office

boarded up this morning.

Oh, no, no. That's just the property company.

The cleaning business is doing really well.

Well, people always need cleaners, don't they?

They certainly do.

Morning.

Can you believe this?

She's signed over all the properties to a management agency.

How about this? Listen.

"Miss Butcher has requested that you desist

"from any dealings on her behalf, or claims to represent her interest in any way".

Desist? I should desist? I'm the one that should desist?

She should desist.

Listen. She can't just have vanished, all right.

You must be able to get hold of her somehow.

I've tried, Jack. I've tried.

Sorry, I've got to do this, cos it calms her down.

That's it, darling.

How did this happen? How did we get here, Jack?

Made a pig's ear out of everything.

Yeah, well speak for yourself, mate.

No, no, I'm speaking for us, Jack, I'm speaking for me and you.

Two lonely, old, poor deluded fools. Failures.

Oi, my life is fine, thank you.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-You're having a laugh, aren't you? Two failed marriages,

-you've got a wife in prison....

-That's why she's called my ex-wife.

You've got loads of kids everywhere, you hardly ever see any of them.

-It's hardly The Waltons.

-Yeah well, when you put it like that,

course it's going to sound bad, isn't it?

When was the last time you had a relationship? Go on?

I do all right, don't I?

I know with one night stands you've got a big strike rate.

Fair play. But I'm talking about the other stuff, yeah?

Like a bird whose surname you know.

What's that got to do with anything?

That's got everything to do with it, Jack. Everything to do with it.

It's about living off takeaway food, and one-night stands, it's...

There's got to be more to life than this, Jack.

Look at the bag, Jack. You work it out. Snap.

What did you tell her your real name for?

Well, she asked me. What could I do?

Lie. Cos now it's on Lola's file, that she's hanging about with you

while you're on bail.

Hang on, how could they even know about the case?

His name hasn't been in no paper.

Oh, what, you don't think old bill and Social Services

are in each other's ears, swapping stories?

Yesterday you're all, "Oh, everything's all right, Jay,"

"come on over." Make your mind up.

I just don't think it's very clever telling them your real name.

And lying about us having jobs was, yeah?

I told you, I'm sorting that out.

And how you going to do that exactly? Hmm?

Now, what about that?

No, I'll pass on that, thanks.

See, that's your trouble, Jack,

you never recognise class when you see it.

All right, I didn't think this sort of tat was your game.

Quality always sells. I've done most of it already.

-Yeah and what about the rest of it?

-I'll think of something.

Here, what about Joey? He's got a face for sales.

Yeah, I can't see him using it for my benefit though.

Oh, right. So, you're just going to give up on him, are you?

Come on, we've all made mistakes,

it's about putting them right, isn't it?

Look, we're too alike, me and him. It isn't going to work.

If you're that alike, you should know what buttons to press then,

shouldn't you?

This is new.

Yeah, it's just temporary.

Christian said you'd sold everything in some big deal.

I got some more.

I figured I might be able to make some extra selling it here.

-I wish Tamwar had your business sense.

-Tamwar's fine.

No, he's too laid-back.

He lets everything get on top of him. Especially since Afia left.

Listen, he's been struggling with the restaurant, OK?

He needs a hand, Syed, someone that he can trust...

Just give me a minute.

Look, Mum, I can't talk right now, OK. Just...

I've got to work.

OK. Sorry.

Oi. If I hear the word "wedding" one more time, I swear I will...

I think it's romantic, you know, Max and Tanya all loved up.

-HE HUMS ENDLESS LOVE

-All right, Fats.

Seriously. Shut up! Fats!

For you.

A key?

See, sharp as a tack, this one.

Yeah, but the question is, a key to where? Go on, ask me.

To the Emporium.

Where you and I will soon be setting up business together.

Hold tight. Don't Anthony and Tyler own it?

-Not any more they don't.

-So, what, they sold it to you?

No. They didn't sell it to me. I won it.

Four of spades.

Wait, Anthony gambled the Emporium?

-Yeah, I know, silly boy.

-Does Tyler know about this?

-You'll have to ask him that, won't you?

-He's going to be gutted.

Now, you think about what kind of business you fancy, all right?

First of all there's some gear in there that needs to be cleared out.

Got me?

Erm... I'll be back in two minutes, yeah?

What are you going to do, then?

Anthony. Where you at, man?

You need to give me a call when you get this, yeah?

Michael. Michael, about Butcher's Joints...

There is no Butcher's Joints, Bill. It's over. It's finished, closed.

-What about all the properties?

-Handed over to a management company or something.

-Can we stop and talk about this?

-No, we have to keep moving.

-Why do we have to keep moving?

-Laps of the Square. The baby likes laps of the Square.

-But what about the cleaning business?

-No idea.

You know what a good little earner that is, be a shame to let it go.

And all the hard work's done, isn't it? Customers are already there.

I could ask them, see if they want to stay with us.

No. Tell them we're under new management, but it's business as usual.

See what they say.

And what about the cleaners? Are we keeping them on?

I don't know, I don't know. You want to manage it, you manage it.

"Manager".

"Managing Director". Yeah.

HE KNOCKS

Starting early, even for you, Jack.

Yeah, well don't worry, I've got a strict no alcohol before midday rule.

That is impressive.

Yeah, I'm all about restraint, me.

So I've seen. So if you're not here for a drink...?

Well, I was just seeing if you're free tonight.

-That depends what's on offer?

-Dinner. I'll cook.

Sounds like you're trying to lure me back to your place again.

-Is it working?

-I can't see you in the kitchen.

Had you down more as a bedroom man.

See, don't knock what's on offer, until you've tasted it.

I take it we're still talking about the food?

-Is that a yes, then?

-Dinner at your place does sound lovely.

-Great.

-But I've got Denny. So I'll have to take a rain check.

Sorry.

They called and said Janice was closing down,

and that she gave them our details.

-We're not closing down.

-I haven't seen Janice.

Me and Michael are running it now.

Well, this new lot, they're cheaper.

OK. I'll drop your rate by 20%.

A lot cheaper.

I'll give you a free extra hour every week.

And they work hard.

You know, I've been following them from room to room

and they haven't stopped going.

They sweat. Such hard workers.

SHE SQUEALS

You can take off your top if it's too hot, yeah?

"Such hard workers."

No offence, Billy, but he can reach parts that you just can't.

He hasn't said anything about Janine's other customers, has he?

No. But if Mr Buff is calling round them as well

you've got problems, mate.

Excuse me.

Coo-ee!

Maybe they just up and left?

No way, man. They wouldn't do that. Not without saying anything, anyway.

No, no, no, they wouldn't do that.

-Well, are they together?

-I don't know.

Maybe they're just never coming back then.

What's Tyler got to keep him here anyway?

Whitney!

Yes, because boys never run off and leave their girlfriends behind.

I tell you what, all right, let's phone Whitney, shall we, OK,

cos she will definitely know the story.

Yeah, OK, Fats, what if she doesn't?

Isn't she in Suffolk with Carol and the kids?

You're just going to unload all of this on her?

-No.

-Exactly. Come on.

What do you think?

Yeah, yeah, it's all right, when you get rid of all the rubbish.

First thing we need to do is we need to christen this place, eh?

What, with, like, a party?

Why not? A bit of music and a bit of beer.

I reckon it'll be perfect round here.

-PHONE BEEPS

-Yeah. OK. Fats, what do you reckon, a party?

You can DJ.

ENGAGED TONE

Hey, you don't fancy lunch, do you?

Now, I thought you said you'd be too busy making money to lunch.

Well, all work and no play.

Now you're speaking my language. Where do you fancy?

I thought we could eat here.

-In the gym?

-I've been out in the noise and hassle all day.

It'd be nice to just get away somewhere quiet.

I think we can do a bit better than this.

Well, I'll only have to lug this stuff with me.

Let's just stay here.

All right. You go and get some food. and I'll get showered.

Can't you get it? I've been on my feet all morning.

OK.

No, no, Mrs Holden, that is a mistake.

We have definitely not closed down. We're absolutely still going....

Look, before you decide, OK,

maybe you'd like to hear about reduced prices...

Thank you, Tracey.

No, no. Come on, let me get that.

The answer's no.

You haven't even heard what I've got to say yet.

Come on, it's only a tiny little favour.

It would have to be, if you're trying to buy me with the price of a mineral water.

Trace, throw in a bag of nuts, will you, please.

-Just a bit of baby-sitting, that's all.

-Oh, yeah,

-cos I don't spend enough time around kids, do I?

-You do this for me,

I'll baby-sit for Oscar anytime you and Max want to go out.

-Don't need it, got Abs for that.

-Oh, come on, please.

It's just a couple of hours. Please?

Oh, all right then. But only for Amy, not for you.

And only because her cousins love spending time with her.

-Oh, yeah. It's not Amy.

-Who is it then?

-Er... Dennis Rickman.

-No! No way.

-Why not?

Because I quite like Sharon, you know,

and this will end in tears, won't it?

-Yeah? Says who?

-Says your track record, that's who.

Why don't we stop worrying about Sharon Rickman

and start thinking about me?

Lonely single father, yeah? Seeking meaningful relationship.

Good sense of humour. Sensitive.

Oh, now you see, you had me. You had me till you said "sensitive".

I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important.

I've got a confession to make.

What, you won the lottery and didn't tell me?

I wish.

I didn't just want to meet you for lunch.

I wanted to talk to you about something.

Go on.

I thought we could set a date for the wedding.

Maybe...autumn.

And you know why I prefer autumn to spring?

It's sooner.

Sy, your face, you'd think I'd asked you for a kidney.

-How much is this going to cost?

-I thought we agreed,

-the money you made yesterday would cover it.

-I don't know what the rush is.

Rush? We've been talking about this for 18 months.

I'm not asking you to elope, just...

set a date.

And then there's Mum. We've only just got her on side.

I don't want to push it now.

We live next door to your mum, with her grandchild,

I hardly think us marrying is going to faze her at all.

I want to take things slowly, for her sake. OK?

OK.

You see the thing is, when you're in business, like I am,

well, sometimes you have to make difficult decisions.

And this is really difficult for me right now.

But, you see, the thing is, there isn't enough work to go around...

The moment it picks up, you'll be the first people I'll call...

You've got my word on that, I promise you.

Billy!

I've been thinking, we local businesses should stick together, yeah?

-You can have back your cleaning contract.

-What happened to your old workers then?

Well, how was I supposed to know they had a "look and no touch" policy?

OK. I wasn't expecting a grand parade,

but a little bit of positivity would be nice.

We've lost all our other customers as well.

So? Go get them back. Fight for your business.

Listen, "Don't give up, keep on trying,

"You're going to make it, I ain't lying".

You know who said that?

Bruno Mars.

You don't become a successful businesswoman like myself

without listening to a little Bruno.

-Catch you later.

-Yeah, see you.

OK, that's great. Thanks.

You're here so often, I'm going to have to get you a loyalty card.

-Yeah, well, I've solved your problem.

-Didn't know I had one.

Yeah, I've got a baby-sitter sorted for tonight.

Tanya is going to look after Dennis.

Dennis is not a "problem", to be sorted.

Yeah, well, I didn't mean it like that.

Come on, I thought you'd be happy. Tanya knows him.

I decide who minds my son, OK?

Now, if you don't mind, I've got work to do.

All right, I'm sorry. I got it wrong.

Not my place to book a baby-sitter.

I've still got all this.

Why don't you just come over early, bring Dennis.

I'll cook for the three of us.

Eat up. Go home. No strings.

OK.

Kamil?

Kamil?

Kamil, this is very, very naughty!

You come here right now and help me.

I am very sick and tired of cleaning up after everybody in this family...

How much is the bleach?

I take it you have a licence for this stall.

Can you mind Scarlett for me?

I can't today, no.

I have to see my brief, I'll only be a couple of hours. Please?

Sorry.

What's that, no takeaway? Who is she?

She's no-one you'd know.

Discretion. They like that, don't they? The birds.

Take my advice.

Whoever she is - don't marry her.

What do we even know about this Buff company?

-I mean, they could be cowboys.

-Very good-looking cowboys.

Look, I could wear a little T-shirt and tight shorts,

-if that's what you want, Shar?

-Oh, Billy!

I'm going to have that image in my head all day now.

-Come on, you know me.

-Well, that's not really a selling point, is it?

We've always done a good job for you here. And we're cheaper.

And I guarantee I will personally clean this place, top to bottom.

I want to see it sparkle.

-What, now?

-Yes, now. That's if you want the job?

Fats, where's your laptop?

Just doesn't feel right partying here.

Come on, Fats, it's just a drink and a laugh.

I know, but it's like dancing on their grave a little bit, innit?

Fats, if Tyler and Anthony were here,

they'd be the first ones up for a party.

But that's exactly my point, all right, they're not here.

Yes. Yes, because they're probably somewhere sunny, sitting by a pool.

Right? Yes? Having a laugh at us.

Sitting with sexy girls in their bikinis.

Yeah, with cocktails and some music.

And boom, boom, boom, boom, yeah!

Yeah! So, laptop, Fats?

-It's what they'd want, isn't?

-Yes.

All right then. I'll be back in a minute.

How much longer?

Half hour tops.

I can't wait that long, I have to be somewhere.

Phil given you the night off, has he?

I haven't seen him in ages. Anyway, I'm my own boss.

Well, don't worry. I'll let myself out when I'm finished.

OK. Oh, and Billy, you've got the contract back.

Yes!

Oh, and the stock, it's electronically monitored, OK?

Yeah, no worries.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Yes, yes, this is Butcher's cleaners.

Sure, we could do that. Yeah.

Could you just give me a sec and I'll get a pen

and take down your details?

Yes, go on...

Nice one.

Hey, hey, hey, come on, man,

I don't think Derek is going to like us smashing up his stuff like this.

Let me worry about him, all right?

It's your turn.

Oh, there's none left!

Go on.

DOOR BUZZER

KNOCK ON DOOR

Denny was having such a good time with Ian,

-I didn't have the heart to drag him away.

-Oh, right. Come in.

-Hope you're not too disappointed?

-I'll get over it.

You can take that home to him later if you want.

You'll be popular.

Do you want a drink?

Yeah. Try stopping me.

This feels like an ambush.

I found this today.

I can't believe he's letting things get to this stage. Final demand.

I told you he needs help at the restaurant.

Mum, this is dated June, I'm sure he's paid it by now.

Have you spoken to him?

No, he won't listen to me, that's why I thought I'd talk to you first.

Syed, I know this is a big favour to ask you

but now that you've completed that deal of yours,

you must have some time.

Please? You could help out.

Come on, spread some of that business magic around.

Look, Mum...

I've got some other things on too.

So, you can do them and help out at the restaurant.

Please, Syed? Your brother needs you.

Just for a short while.

Absolutely. Just until the restaurant gets back on its feet.

Also, Christian tells me

that you've been thinking of setting a date for the wedding.

Autumn, right?

I think it's wonderful.

Right. Better get started then.

Finally get Sy to spend some of that cash he's made.

We should do it right, though, yeah?

-Have a proper celebration to announce your engagement.

-Yeah.

We could have a family dinner tomorrow night, at our house.

But don't say a word to anyone.

-He lost it in a card game?

-That's what Derek said.

-Did you not think to ring me?

-Course I did, I only found out today.

Plus, we thought you was by the beach with some sun and some cocktails...

-You think this is funny?

-No!

-I've been working every hour

under the sun with the old man for nothing, my brother's missing

-and I've lost my business?

-We was worried about you.

-You looked really worried when I walked in on the party.

-It wasn't a party...

Fats, thanks for the support.

-I can't believe you cooked all that yourself.

-Mmm.

You can check the bin for takeaway cartons, if you don't believe me.

Already did. And to think I had you down as a one-trick pony.

-But it's a good trick though, isn't it.

-I didn't say that.

Well, I haven't had any complaints so far.

Oh, is that your way of saying I'm one of many?

Nah, that's not what I said.

But you haven't exactly been saving yourself for the right woman.

Yeah, well, there's been a lot of wrong 'uns, if that's what you mean.

Yeah, one-night stands. Married women...

I don't need a full disclosure, do I?

Just saying, don't say I haven't warned you, that's all.

That sounds ominous...and exciting.

Let's just...let's just take it slow.

Not quite the reaction I had last time I was here.

Yeah well, that was before.

Before what?

Before I liked you.

It'd be good to do it right this time.

Yeah, it would.

-Just promise me one thing.

-What's that?

You don't take it too slowly.

So, I told the cleaners that Janine had passed on all our customers

to another company. That's why I had to let them go.

I explained to them that, you know, in business

there's going to be casualties.

The fat has to be trimmed. I think they understood.

You would've been proud of me, the way I managed it.

So...the good news, Billy?

The good news is I have got us three new customers.

-That many?

-Yeah, yeah. It just shows, don't it?

We can build this business up.

Oh. You and me, together?

Yeah. Yeah, I mean obviously

we're going to have to get our hands a bit dirty first.

-Oh, split the cleaning shifts, you mean?

-Yeah, yeah.

I thought I could do the R&R, you could do the B&B.

The B&B, with all its bedrooms and bathrooms?

I don't mind doing the B&B if you like.

Why are we out here?

It's a business, Billy.

And in business, there's got to be casualties...

I think I have to trim the fat. Sorry.

Obviously, I can turn my hand to most things, you know, around the home.

So, if something does come in, you'll let me know, yeah?

Yeah.

Course you will. I won't hold my breath.

Look, Pops, you'll find something. We both will.

I had something, though.

I got the R&R and the B&B back from that other outfit,

I got another new client. I would've got loads more, too, if Michael had let me.

-HE SIGHS

-Don't worry.

Like you said, I'll find something.

Someone's scrubbed up this morning. Is that tie silk?

Yeah. It all is.

If you've got it, flaunt it!

It ain't like you've got anything better to do!

-DOORBELL RINGS

-Get out the bath and get the door!

Yeah. Yeah, and bring Abi if she ain't at school, yeah?

I'll explain later, just meet me there in half-hour.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-All right, bye-bye.

Pops, you need to shape up! I'm a full-on working woman now!

Yes, Lola, motherhood certainly is a full-time job.

I suppose you want to come in.

I've been making a few notes, I thought we could go through them.

But if you've something more important to do...

Course not.

These are some of the issues I've identified so far,

the things we need to chat about.

-Are you serious?

-Yeah. It's a serious amount of money.

One-and-a-half grand your old man owes Janine, with interest.

And that'll make all the difference, will it? And then you'll buy the flat?

No, no. I'm not interested in that any more.

So, I've lost all that money I paid the solicitor?

Yeah. But deals fall through all the time! The world isn't a perfect place.

Tell me about it!

PHONE BEEPS

Lucy, let me clarify.

You're down on your money, so that makes me down on mine.

Down? I-I was counting on that sale!

Fine. All right. I'll just talk to your dad about it, yeah?

No. I already told Janine, I don't want him bothered.

So, you don't want to pay the money and you don't want Ian bothered?

Well... I can't pay it all. Not straightaway.

But I could do some each week.

Maybe 50 quid?

Ah, Tyler man! What's going on...?

MUSIC REVERBS FROM OUTSIDE

-Oh, hello!

-Hiya.

Well?

-Well, what?

-Details...!

-You've spoken to Jack.

-Yeah.

Didn't get much out of him. Just that you managed to go on your date.

So tell me about it! Where? When?

How did it go?

Hello?

Hello?

-Sharon?

-Er, yeah. Sorry, Tanya. I'll catch you later, OK?

-A dinner party?

-Mm! And this is what we will need.

-This is what was so urgent?

-Mm-hm.

-How many people are we feeding?

-Oh, just the family!

AJ can't make it, he's visiting some friend or something, so it's just everyone else.

Oh, and Christian.

-What's the special occasion?

-Why, has someone said there is one?

No. It's just that you seem to be going to an awful lot of trouble.

Nonsense!

KNOCK AT DOOR

I was going to ask how you are.

I really don't need to, do I?

I thought you were just taking time out. Licking your wounds.

I would never have left you alone if I thought you were going to get into this sort of state.

Look, why don't I put the kettle on, get some food on the go,

-then maybe we can start sorting through this lot?

-I'm fine.

Look in the mirror, Phil.

OK, so you're just going to stew in here, are you?

Drink your way through that, let this all pile up around you, turn into some sort of hermit?

-I never asked you to come over, did I?

-You called me, just now.

-Wrong number.

-Oh, come on, Phil, this is me!

Close the door on your way out, will ya?

You really did a number on him, didn't you?

No-one forced your brother to do what he did.

-And that poker game was his idea.

-Some game.

And raising the stakes was his idea, too.

OK, it was a hard lesson to learn, but he learnt it.

And so should you.

Don't play with the big boys, Tyler.

Because you'll lose.

I could take this off you, but what's the point?

You'll only go out and get some more.

If you're going to do this, no-one's going to stop you, are they?

Well, wouldn't be the first time you've shut everyone out, would it?

If something...

-If something happened to Dennis...

-What?

Something bad, but it was down to you...

Don't say that.

..you wouldn't want to go on, would you?

Look, what happened to Ben,

it's awful, I know it is, but he is still here.

And how long's he going to last in a place like that?

Maybe he'll surprise you. He is still your son.

-Meaning?

-Meaning, have a little faith.

Well, why not?

Because I ain't stupid, and because I don't believe in fairy stories.

Yeah, and you don't have a crystal ball, neither.

You can't know how this is going to work out, Phil!

You've got to hold onto something. Dad always held onto the Vic.

And someone needs to do that right now. You do know Kat and Alfie have just taken off?

You know, whenever things got bad,

whatever he did, wherever he was,

he always thought, if he could just get back there he could start again.

And look what happened when he did.

That could've happened anywhere.

-It didn't do him a lot of good, did it?

-It's not to do with the Vic.

Or maybe...he just got it wrong.

Maybe you got it wrong.

No, you haven't got Ben,

and, no, you haven't got Shirley or Jay,

but you've still got the Vic and you've still got the Arches and the club,

and it's not the same, I know, but it's something Phil, it's a start.

Even if you don't care about yourself, you have to think about Ben!

You've got to hold onto that, for his sake.

I mean, it's something for him. Something for his future.

I do understand, you know.

I mean, how many times have I been down there?

Thinking, "Just leave me alone, let me give up!"

You've got to take charge, Phil.

Get a grip.

Now, you do that...

..or you do this.

I made my choice,

you make yours.

Lucy!

What was that all about?

You and Count Dracula?

Just business.

You're not doing business with Michael?

No, I'm not. That's the trouble.

He's interested in the flat.

What, renting it?

Buying it.

-What do you want to sell it for?

-I don't want to sell anything! I just ain't got much choice.

-Half-hour, you said!

-Sorry, that gobby social worker turned up again.

-Problem?

-Same rubbish as yesterday.

-Tell her that, did you?

-Yeah. Now she's upping my visits because of my "attitude problem".

I mean, I'm trying, ain't I? Why can't they get off my back?

And that's what this is all about, our new business.

-What new business?

-I can get cash in my hand, right, and I can buy things for Lexi...

-Lola, what new business?

-Pops got two clients yesterday, and one new one without even trying.

We go in even cheaper, we can get it all back.

-And all the names and numbers are in Janine's old office.

-Which is all boarded up.

Ah...

All right, Marie? Two teas, please.

-Do you want an iced finger, Jack?

-Yeah, I'll have an iced finger.

Two iced fingers - my treat.

-You're a bit chipper, ain't you?

-Yeah, I'm flogging the car, ain't I?

Just need to go to the office and get the paperwork. Abi's got Scarlett, so...

-Hang on. What, the office that's locked?

-Yeah!

But not for long, Jack. Not for long.

It's not just about me any more, Jack. It's about me and Scarlett.

I've got to start thinking about her interests, as well, you know?

So, have you decided?

-Decided what?

-The Emporium - what are you going to do with it!

-Already done it.

-Oh. Sounds interesting.

-No point letting the grass grow, eh?

-That's always been my motto.

Had a great party in there last night.

-That's it? A party?

-Mm.

I thought we were going to go into business together.

That's it.

MUSICAL RINGTONE

Anthony?

TOOLS RATTLE UNDERFOOT

-There's a word for this, you know?

-Yeah, enterprise.

No, thieving!

Shut up and get it open, will you? Go on.

Yes, I know!

-Look, could you give me a minute? Dad, this really isn't a good time.

-Two minutes.

-Yeah, OK.

OK!

Yeah, sorry, there was just a bit of a misunderstanding. I'm sorting it with the bank today.

I said, didn't I?

Yes, Friday!

No, look, there'll be no more delays!

Dad...

What can I do for you?

Is there something you want to talk to me about?

-How do you mean?

-You tell me!

Sorry, Dad, I don't know what -

This dinner party that your mum's putting on!

She keeps telling me it's nothing special, but you know the signs as well as I do.

She won't answer a question, she keeps changing the subject...

It's a sure sign she's up to something!

I guess she wants to make the announcement herself, that's all.

What announcement?

Lucy!

I didn't... I didn't know things were that bad.

Things are fine, don't worry.

I had a breakdown, OK, not a lobotomy.

All that with Michael, it wasn't just about the flat, was it?

I'll sort it.

It was the money I borrowed from Janine.

-I'll sort that, too.

-Right, so it was about that, too!

-How?

-I just will, OK?

-HE SIGHS

-No, Lucy, I will, OK?

I borrowed the money, OK? I got us into this mess. I will get us out of this mess.

You got a secret stash somewhere?

We've got that. I'm sure people will be queuing up to buy it!

You've changed your tune.

Well, like I said, it's... it's my mess.

I'll get it sorted.

-Bingo!

-I bet there's dozens of names on there.

-I told you we'd clean up.

-Hilarious! What are we going to do, call every one?

-The local ones, yeah.

I hope you've got plenty of credit on your mobile, then.

Who said anything about using mobiles?

-DIALLING TONE

-Still connected!

GLASS SHATTERS

-Can you hear something?

-Yeah. Cash! And lots and lots of it,

-flowing in...

-BANGING

You all right, Ty?

Er...

You been looking for Anthony? Because he just rang.

I've been trying him all morning.

I mean, he said that he screwed up and, erm,

that he was sorry... and that he couldn't face you, bruv.

What was he thinking of?

Why would he play that stupid game, Fats? And with Derek?

-He was trying to impress Alice.

-What, by taking on her old man?

It was probably all Derek's idea.

You should've heard him, mate, after he cleaned your brother out.

He's going to me, "Look what I've got for you, Joe,

"a brand-new business, we can run this together."

You know, somebody should really teach him a lesson.

How about you and me?

We've both got grudges against him, ain't we?

-You'd do anything to put him down.

-Exactly.

So, is that what it was, then? You was playing a game and my brother got caught in the middle?

No, no, no, I told him not to do it, mate!

He pulled out them keys, not me, Tyler.

I told him not to go there.

I thought you lot had closed down.

-Do we look like we've shut up shop?

-Michael said you had.

Oh, he's just the boss, what does he know, eh? Nothing!

With a bit of luck, eh?

And for one day only, we're offering all local businesses a special, deep clean.

-Deep clean?

-And for special rates.

For cash only, obviously.

-So, what do you say?

-We can start right away.

Get the charity shop nice and spick and span, in time for my community service tomorrow.

What I say is simple.

This stinks to high heaven.

But as long as my shop doesn't in, say, an hour,

I don't give a monkey's.

Lovely! Go on, Jay.

So, that's what it was all about, you getting your hands on the Emporium?

"Branning and Son"...

And what's that got to do with you?

Nothing. And that's the way I want it to stay.

So just tell your son that, will you, please?

I'm not getting dragged into no stupid games, Derek.

He wants to get at you, and he ain't doing it through me.

So if you'd all like to raise your glasses, I would like to propose a toast.

It was meant to be a surprise toast, but never mind.

To Syed and Christian

and to your partnership.

-Actually, we've got a date.

-Oh?

Yeah. October 16th.

-Registrar had a window.

-Oh, that's wonderful!

And I would like to propose a second toast, to Syed and Tamwar,

who are now business partners.

-What?

-Syed's coming in on the restaurant.

Sorry, since when?

-We discussed it yesterday.

-I thought you knew.

Isn't it a great idea?

And he's coming in because?

Because I'm making such a mess of things, I suppose?

-It's not just that.

-Meaning it is!

-No...

I just think it's a good idea. It feels right.

-That I'm getting things so wrong?

-I don't think your mum meant that.

Having all the family together.

I-I thought you'd be happy!

You're always complaining that you're not cut out for business, unlike your brother.

-You don't think you're taking on too much, though?

-How do you mean?

Well, you seemed a bit... stressed earlier.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-I was chasing up a few leads, that's all.

-Already?!

-So long as you're sure...

-Of course he's sure, Masood!

Otherwise, why would he say it?

Masood!

Yeah. Ahem. Syed and Tamwar.

Syed and Tamwar.

You taking early retirement?

Just seen the sign up on your stall.

You and me both.

Meaning?

Well, the Arches is pretty much always closed and no-one's seen you in the Vic for weeks.

-You calling it a day, as well?

-Just having a bit of time out.

Join the club.

That, er...

..stall was your old man's, wasn't it?

And his dad's.

Times change.

-I don't know, maybe it's karma.

-What?

-Losing the stall. Maybe I deserve it.

-For?

Letting people down.

-Messing up. Not taking my chances.

-PHIL SIGHS

-Ring any bells?

-No.

Because I'm not you.

Maybe there's more to it than that.

Maybe getting rid of the stall, it's...

..like I'm clearing everything away.

Maybe I should've done that with everything else. Just got it out there right from the start.

Everything. I mean, you, Ben...

You love it, don't you?

-What?

-Playing the victim. There's nothing better, is there?

-What're you talking about?

-Listen to yourself. Look at yourself. You want to get a grip!

What?

-Lola?

-Mm?

-Lo?

-Ssh, Pops, please.

SHE GROANS

I've got aches where I ain't even got any muscles.