24/01/2014 EastEnders Omnibus

Lauren... Lauren! What is this all about?

KNOCKING

-Oi! What's your problem?

-You! You're my problem!

-What, you proud of yourself, are you?!

-Get your hands off me!

-It's over this time, for good.

-Dad, let him go!

I told you, didn't I? I told you to end it.

-And I told you, it's over! Finished!

-Oh, right.

So now she's pregnant, you're going to walk away, are you?

-What? You're pregnant?

-No.

-Don't give it all that, Lauren.

Don't lie, all right?!

-I'm not lying and I'm not pregnant!

-Max...

Bella, sweetheart, go to your room.

Bella!

I'll take her, shall I?

(Come on, darling.)

-Are you OK?

-Oi, what you worried about him for?

-You need to go. Now.

-Oh, do I? I ain't going anywhere,

not till I get some answers.

-Answers to what?

-How long you two have been making a mug out of me!

What does it matter? We're not together any more.

-And I'm supposed to believe that?

-Believe what you like. Just go.

No. I told you, didn't I? I told you what would happen.

-And I told you that Sadie would find out.

-Dad, can we just go?

-Why would I want to go? I ain't finished yet.

-Dad, it is over.

I tell you what, give me one good reason

I shouldn't knock you out now?

I didn't even know Lauren was seeing anyone.

-I'm not quite sure that's her test.

-Well, as long as it ain't yours,

that's all that matters, eh? That's all that we need.

Why? What's the matter?

Nothing.

Everything's fine.

It was a mistake, a huge mistake.

Where's Bella?

She's upstairs.

You cheated on me...

..with her?

I'm sorry.

I think you should go.

Sadie, I...

Has Bella had her dinner?

No.

I'll do it.

What's the matter?

Nothing.

-Why are you lying?

-Nothing's wrong, Whit.

-Just leave it.

-I'm not stupid!

I know there's something wrong.

The last couple of days, all them whispered conversations,

awkward looks at each other.

Carol's gone completely over the top about this pregnancy thing.

Has it got something to do with Carol?

Why won't you tell me?

SHE SIGHS

She's got breast cancer.

Oh.

How long have you known?

-We found out last week, but didn't want to upset you.

-How bad is it?

Dunno.

They're doing some more tests this week, to...

..just to make sure that it hasn't spread.

She might have to have a mastectomy.

Poor Carol.

-The kids are going to be upset.

-That's why we didn't tell them.

-They've got a right to know.

-Whit, they're too young...

Liam's not. He's not a kid.

Whit! No, just...just wait.

Let's wait until we know what's happening.

We'll just keep it between us.

That is well buff. You should try bulking up a bit.

Yes, well, it's not all about muscles, is it?

-Who told you that?

-She's right.

Girls don't want some stick insect, do they, Cindy?

No. But, you know, more than one brain cell is also a bonus!

Laters, losers.

You're wasting your time with her. You could do a lot better.

Right, I'm off, then.

You're going?!

Yeah, well, it ain't going to bite, is it?

What am I supposed to do with it?!

Unless you've got Damien Hirst's number, chop it up.

-On my own?

-Oh, no, no, no.

I've got to get round Bianca's, for my tea.

Give us a hand, and you can take a couple of nice lamb chops home.

THEY LAUGH

Scalpel.

There you go.

SHE LAUGHS

SCRAPING

Are we going to talk?

Sadie.

Bella!

I'm making your favourite tonight, sausage and mash.

Won't be long.

Are you all right?

I'm fine.

Can I have spaghetti on toast, instead?

But sausage and mash is your favourite.

It's OK. I can rustle up a special little order, for this one.

Did you see the look on Sadie's face? She must be going mental.

Are you happy with yourself, Dad?!

I'm sorry, Lauren. I thought you were pregnant.

And you couldn't just talk to me like any normal parent?!

-What have you done?!

-No, excuse me, Lauren.

You're the one who lied to me. You told me it was over.

Why would I tell you the truth about anything?!

Well done, Carol(!)

If you hadn't jumped the gun, none of this would have happened.

I was just trying to help.

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.

Look, when she's calmed down, talk to her.

No, listen to her.

We need to rethink the decor, go more upmarket.

This is Walford. We don't do upmarket.

We need to think bigger - neon lights, an aluminium-clad bar,

an open kitchen. We could go gastro.

Why don't you ring Gordon Ramsay, see if he's free(?)

Actually, some decent food, that's a good idea.

I just don't want nothing too poncey.

-Why don't you go for the pink pound?

-Yeah, and while you're doing it,

-why don't you change the name of the place?

-There's an idea!

Yeah, you could call it The Prince Johnny.

Now you're talking! I always wanted my name in lights.

We go with the refurb we agreed. Bar or no bar, we are stretched.

I've still got to try to raise some money to sort out this rising damp.

I suppose we'll still have enough money for that big,

-flatscreen telly of yours?

-Oi, that's a good investment.

-That's going to bring the punters in.

-But what kind of punters, though?

If we're that strapped for cash, we could always ask your dad.

When hell freezes over.

I don't really think that's your decision to make.

No. No, we do it on the cheap.

If you want to save money,

you could always ask Wayne to sort the rising damp.

Look what Daddy's got. You should have seen Max's face.

I'm the new partner in the car lot.

-How did that happen?

-Well, it's simple, really.

I persuaded Roxy to sell me the freehold.

I also own 50% of the shares, anyway, which technically makes

Max and I partners, but because I own the land...

All right - boring, boring! Just tell me who's boss.

-I am.

-Yes!

No more Branning Brothers nonsense, Oh, no. No. Deals On Wheels,

just like the old days.

A classy new look, a new flash range of motors on order.

Wahey!

-Poor old Max, he never stood a chance.

-Does nothing matter to you?

-Eh?

-This point-scoring off Max.

Don't you think we should be pulling together a little bit on this?

She knows.

Whitney, the only reason I wanted to get the car lot

was to give Carol some security.

Yeah, right. Cos there's nothing in it for you, is there(?)

SHE SOBS

Seriously, I wouldn't worry about it.

I told you before that she ain't worth it, didn't I?

-What's the matter with you?

-He's got woman troubles.

-Shut up.

-Oh, yeah? Woman troubles?

-What's that about, then?

-It's nothing.

Liam, if there's something you want to talk about, you can...

Well, look, like it's going to help! Are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Thank you very much.

So why don't you tell me why I should give my hard-earned cash

to that toerag of an ex of yours?

Because he's good and I reckon he'd do it at mate's rates.

Maybe even cheaper.

And why would he do that?

Because he could probably do with the work

and he'd want to do you a favour.

You're still seeing him, aren't you?

No!

Light blue touch-paper and retreat to a safe distance.

-You've been seeing him behind our backs!

-What's the problem?

-Wayne's a good-for-nothing user...

-He's a decent bloke.

..who will break your heart again and again. Ain't that right, Mick?

Tell you what. Tell Wayne to get himself round here

and he can give me a quote on that bit of work.

-You are joking?!

-Well, if she's serious about him,

I think we should get to know him a bit better, don't you?

All right.

# Old MacDonald had a farm

# Ee-i-ee-i-o

# And on that farm, he had a sheep

# Ee-i-ee-i-o...

-# With a baa baa...

-..here.

-# A baa baa...

-..there.

-# Baa! Baa!

-Everywhere, a baa baa

-BOTH:

-# Old MacDonald had a farm

-# Ee-i-ee-i-o. #

-THEY CHUCKLE

Oh, mate, I've got to go.

What, like that?! You look very Sweeney Todd.

Why, thank you, Miss Lovett!

-Go on, whip it off. You can borrow one of Alfie's.

-Eh?

-Oh, I see, that's your game, is it?

-And what's that?

Inviting men round your house, under the illusion

they're going to be cutting up farmyard animals

when, really, you just want to see a semi-naked man in the kitchen. Is that right?

Don't flatter yourself. I'm a one-man woman.

Yeah? And I'm a...one-woman man.

Right, glad we got that straight. Now, get your kit off!

You can't give me the silent treatment forever.

What else is there to say?

I need to explain. It's not what you think.

(You disgust me.)

Bella, darling, why don't you go upstairs

and get yourself ready for bed?

-But it's early.

-Just go and get ready for bed!

Sorry, um... Sorry, darling.

Why don't you go upstairs, get yourself ready for bed

and I'll come up and tuck you in?

-I can do that.

-No. I'LL do it!

Is everything OK?

Yeah. Everything's fine. Now, off you go.

We need to sort this out.

I'll make us some coffee, shall I?

And we're chopping away at it.

And then Kat, she's up to her ears in sheep's whatsits.

-It was hilarious.

-Really funny(!) More important than

being here on time, with everything that's going on?!

I was just helping out a mate, weren't I?

Look, I'm sorry. I just lost track of time.

I'm here now, aren't I?

Where's Nana Carol?

She'll be here. Come on, sit down, eat.

Us grown ups have got this table booked after you lot.

Who wants orange juice?

-Me, please.

-Nice shirt, Dad.

Yeah, it's a long story.

-All right, Terry? There's some bubbly there, if you want to help yourself.

-Oh. Thanks.

Right, well, this is nice, innit, all the family together?

Except Nana Carol. ..Thank you.

-Liam, eat your food.

-Have we got any pasta?

-Pasta?

-Yeah. You know, protein.

Pasta's a carbohydrate.

-All right, whatever. I just read it's good for you.

-Yeah if you want to bulk up.

-What's brought all this on?

-No reason.

-Nothing to do with Cindy, then, no?

-No!

She's into muscle men.

-It's got nothing to do with her! BIANCA:

-Where have you been?

-I've been at Max's.

-Everything OK?

-Not really.

-Carol?

-No, thanks. It's a long story.

-Must be a night for them.

But one thing's for sure. That pregnancy test wasn't Lauren's.

-Whose is it, then?

-I don't know.

It was mine.

What are you doing up, young lady?

Are you angry with me?

No, of course not. Why would I be angry with you?

Because of what I saw.

Are you OK?

She just stared at me.

Poor little innocent Bella.

Well, she's not so innocent now, is she?

Well, maybe it's for the best, Lauren.

She finds out now what sort of bloke her dad is.

What? Like I did?

Cos I know exactly how she feels. Cos I was her once.

Clinging on to my mum because of what I'd just walked in on.

Remember what you did when I caught you at it?

Lauren, why are you dragging all this up?

Because I did exactly the same thing when Bella caught us.

I told her to keep quiet. I told her not to say anything.

I said that she wouldn't want to upset her mummy, would she?

How sick is that?

And that's when I realised. I'm not...

..I'm not Bella any more.

I'm you.

Lauren...

Lauren, I was just trying to look out for you.

Babe, that's all I've ever wanted. I was just trying to protect you.

It's a bit late for that now.

But maybe it's not too late for Bella.

-What are you talking about?

-Maybe I can go round there

-and talk to her.

-Lauren, what's the point?

You know, the damage has been done. Just leave her.

That's the way you solve everything, isn't it?

Just walk away and let everyone else pick up the pieces.

All right, fine, Lauren. What are you going to say to her?

I don't know. But I've got to do something.

You may never have wanted to make things better, but I do.

Do you really want to do this?

It's getting cold. I can make another one, if you like.

You wanted to talk.

Yeah.

Yeah.

When me and Lauren first met, me and you, we'd split up.

I was in a bad place. You know how bad.

And then you said you wanted us to give it another go.

And I was so happy. So I ended it.

Because I wanted YOU.

But she just kept coming back for more...

-In our bed. In front of our daughter.

-I'm sorry.

SHE SCOFFS

Come on! Did it make you feel good, sleeping with a teenager, hmm?

Did it make you feel like a man?

Make you feel in control, just for one small second

of that pathetic compulsion of yours?

-She understands me.

-Oh!

I have put my life on hold time and again for you.

And why?

Because I knew what you were.

You're a screw-up.

A weak, pathetic, little screw-up.

All right, so I screwed up.

In spite of that, I loved you. I LOVED you.

I defended you. More fool me.

My parents warned me and you've just proved them right.

I was selfish, weak. But I can get help.

And then along comes Little Miss Adolescence,

all needy and vulnerable, and you have the nerve

to tell me that she understands you!

We can get through this, I know we can,

because we love each other.

And you think that's enough?

Yes. Yes.

I hope she was worth it.

Oh, please don't go... Please!

Watch me!

Look, you can't leave me.

If you leave me, you know how I'll end up.

You know what'll happen to me.

Don't you dare!

Please... Please...

I'm begging you. Please! Look, if not for me, for Bella.

Please! I'm sorry. Please!

Yeah, yeah, but you already told us that the test wasn't yours.

I know. Sorry. I panicked.

-How could you be so stupid, Whit?

-I'm not pregnant.

You're not pregnant?

No. I'm not pregnant. I did the test and it was positive.

I've done another one and it's negative, so it's all all right.

Yeah, well, maybe you should go to the doctor's to make sure.

I don't need to go. I'm sure I'm not pregnant.

If you was going to have a baby, who was the dad?

-I don't think that really matters now.

-Of course it matters.

-All right. It was Johnny.

-Johnny?

No?!

We were messing about and we had an accident.

-Maybe he's straight, after all.

-Perhaps Whit's turned him!

Yeah, go on, laugh at my expense.

You know, the next time you're "messing around",

be more careful and use protection.

And don't go shifting the blame onto somebody else.

-I know. Sorry.

-All right. OK.

I know you don't need this, what, with...

..everything.

I made her tell me.

I knew there was something wrong with you.

I wanted to help.

Yeah, but, you know what? You can help by being honest in the future.

I thought I'd be the last person you'd want to give work to.

No. Listen, business is business, right?

-Right.

-It just seems that you and Nancy

just can't stay away from each other...

I just want to make her happy.

Aw! That's good to hear.

If you're serious about being part of this family,

you've got to prove yourself with this little bit of work, all right?

Yeah, no problem. There's no point you shelling out on some specialist

when I can do it at family rates, you get me?

-You know what you're doing, don't you?

-Of course. I've done it loads of times.

Good. You keep it cheap and you've got yourself a deal.

Go on, raise your glass, boy. There you go. Go on, on your way.

Go on.

I told you. He just wants to get to know you better.

Look at her. Making a fool of herself.

You can't honestly think he's good for her.

-You know what they say, L.

-Love is blind?

Keep your enemies closer.

What you doing?

-Homework.

-Have you gone mad?

When were you going to say something, then?

Or am I supposed to believe talking about it ain't going to help?

-What are you on about?

-The pregnancy test, Liam.

Yeah, I thought that was yours.

No. I only said that cos, you know, of what you said,

with your "woman troubles" and that.

Well, that's nothing to do with me.

Look, it's not. I swear.

Liam, you'd better be telling me the truth. I've lied through my teeth for you.

I've convinced them that it was mine and that it was a complete false alarm.

-Everything all right?

-Yeah, fine.

What was all that about?

Right, just get rid of this mess.

So, you're still into little Cindy, then, are you?

No!

If you like her, Liam, go for it.

-Yeah, right.

-What's stopping you?

Well, first of all, she likes muscles.

Muscles?

Do you know what the most important muscle in the body is?

The brain. All right, that's not strictly true, it's not a muscle.

But you flex it properly

and it will get you further than a honed set of abs any day.

And I've told you before, ain't I? It's all in the mind, seduction.

And she knows all about mind games, don't she, old Cindy?

What about when she lied about, you know?

Which, by the way, you have to ask yourself,

why would she would do that if she weren't interested in you?

So, if you like her, don't give up on her.

SHE SIGHS

Lauren, you don't have to do this.

HE SIGHS

Are you OK?

Yeah. Great. Never been better(!)

Well, I just thought maybe I could talk to Bella

and try...

Good luck with that.

Sadie's gone. Taken Bella with her.

-Well that's that, Lauren, innit? Let's go.

-She's left you?

Yeah. What did you think?

She was going to stay around and play happy families?

-I'm sorry.

-Yeah.

-She's sorry. Did you hear that? She's sorry.

-Oi.

-Well, that makes everything all right, doesn't it(?)

-Calm down, all right?

Yeah? And are you sorry, eh? Sorry for coming round here, shooting your mouth off?

Spreading your lies about me getting someone pregnant. Destroying my marriage!

-Excuse me, mate, I didn't do that, did I?

-No, I did.

Come on, Lauren. Let's get out of here. Let's go!

Go on, run along.

I've got our old friend here for company.

(Jake, don't...)

-What else is there, eh?

-Jake, no, you're stronger than this.

Don't! Don't. Please... Please!

Get out.

Get out!

SHOUTS: Get out! BOTTLE SHATTERS

Lauren, I'm sorry... I'm sorry...

What's the matter with you, eh?! What's the matter with you?!

You want to have a go?! Well, come on then, because I've got nothing left to lose!

Look at the state of you. Pathetic!

So, Whitney's up the duff, then?

Apparently not. She lied about it being hers.

Why would she do that?

Don't know, mate. Your guess is as good as mine.

TV AND CHATTER IN BACKGROUND

TEXT ALERT

OK?

Lauren...

Lauren?

So, what was so important?

They found your stupid pregnancy test.

So, what are we going to do about it?

Morning, Lauren.

Morning.

You should get that looked at.

-It's fine.

-Well, it don't look fine to me.

What, are you some sort of doctor now?

No. Just your dad.

Where are you going?

You ain't going to get halfway across that Square before someone asks about that.

Just put something on it. Some of that make-up, cover-up.

-Just a minute, Cora.

-No... No! Not this time.

When are you going to let me and her in on this, eh?

You still haven't told us how that's happened.

SHE SIGHS It was Jake.

Lauren!

-Who? What, Sadie's husband?

-Why?

I've been sleeping with him.

And if anyone else asks me, I'll tell them too.

-Where are you going? Not to see him?

-I'm going to the salon.

-I do still work there, Dad.

-Not for much longer...

I'm not doing this, all right? I'm not sulking around,

feeling sorry for myself.

Oh, I thought you'd approve, Max.

"No more lies."

You've said it yourself often enough.

-Hello, love.

-Mmm...

-What time do you make it?

Just after eight.

I'm starting work. You're just about to.

All the... All the market boys, look, they're hard at it as well.

Here, Pete, chuck us an apple, I'll waive you one later.

Only person who doesn't seem to be pulling his weight

-is that fella of yours.

-What, Wayne?

-So where is he?

-He's in the barrel store.

Since when?

Since I let him in. Like, well over an hour ago.

Hour and a half, actually. I told the guys to keep it down.

Let you have your lie-in.

-Come on, babe, let's get you a tea.

-All right, cool.

Stop hassling me, will you?

-I just want to know what you'll do.

-What about?

TJ! You had your breakfast yet?

-No.

-Didn't think so. Come on.

You all right?

SHE SIGHS

Any toast going? Whoa...!

What?

What?! Have a sniff.

-Liam!

-It's only a bit of aftershave.

A bit? You sure you ain't been showering in it?

Stop it, that's horrible.

What you doing? So you don't like it when I stink, or when I take care of myself?

-Just don't like that smell.

-Honks in here, don't it?

-What is it, have a pop at Liam day?!

-It's Liam's aftershave, I like it.

-It kills flies, an' all!

-You're only going to school.

-So?

-Why do you need to cover yourself in aftershave, just to sit in a classroom?

-I've had enough of this.

-Here, take an apple, while you're at it.

-For what?

-Whatever teacher you've got a crush on.

-Oh, stop it!

So is all this for who I think it is?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Cindy. Definitely.

Still, I don't think she's, er...

I think she's a wrong 'un, just like her mother was.

-Yeah, it'll all end in tears.

-You should have a word with him.

He listens to you more than the rest of us.

-Do you reckon?

-Yeah.

You know, when you've made as many mistakes as you have.

-BIANCA LAUGHS

-Get out of it!

See what I have to put up with?

You all right, Lauren? You ain't seen Sadie, have you?

-No.

-No, neither have we.

And this computer has just wiped everything,

so we don't know who's coming in.

We've been trying her mobile, but it's just going to voice mail.

She might have popped into the caff before, maybe?

I'll check.

Thank you.

Ooh! You all right? What happened?

-Poppy, listen...

-She's here.

About time. Sorry, won't be a sec.

Sadie, is everything OK? We've been really worried.

-I just had to sort this out.

-We've got a problem with the computer.

Everyone's coming in soon and we ain't done any prep.

No-one's coming in. I called round first thing and cancelled.

What? Why?

We're closing.

-Closing? What do you mean, closing? As of when?

-As of now.

Don't worry, I'll make your wages up to the end of the month,

everything's going to be done properly, OK?

Um...

There's some packing boxes in there.

Would you mind taking them in for me, please?

And, er...if you could put that up.

I'm going to start clearing the place.

"Please don't worry," she says!

Like I ain't got enough to worry about without losing my job.

You're kidding me!

Hope you're not expecting some sort of pay-off.

You don't have to do this.

Though with you, I guess it's a case of constructive dismissal.

This is your business, Sadie.

What me and Jake had, it was nothing.

Nothing compared to what you and him have got,

you've got a family, a home.

Is that what you were thinking

when you were with my husband, in my bed, in front of my daughter?

Is that what you were thinking? My family? Were you?

I trusted you, Lauren. I gave you a job.

What's that on your face?

Someone else caught you doing something you shouldn't?

It's not the end, that's all I'm saying,

or at least, it don't have to be.

I know how Jake really feels.

I know that if you...

Thank you for telling me about how my husband feels.

You have no idea how hard I had to work to keep this family together,

you have no idea at all.

And after everything he did...

What do you mean, after everything he did?

Oh! You don't even know the half of it.

What do you want, Lauren? Someone to come along with a magic wand,

wave it and make sure everything's all right?

Well, it isn't all right, it never will be again.

So get that into your head, you stupid little girl!

Can you honestly say that you don't love Jake any more?

Sooner or later, someone has to pay.

Oh, what, that's it, is it? We all lose our jobs

cos you couldn't keep your hands off her fella? Nice one, Lauren.

-Poppy...

-There's nothing more to say, Lauren.

This one's going out today.

I'm not surprised. It's got everything, this one.

Bluetooth, sat nav, cruise control.

Oh, look, it's even got a little snack on the back seat,

in case the punter gets peckish on the way home.

This should have been valeted, Max.

I didn't get round to it, did I?

Yeah, well, good job I stepped in, eh?

Couple more weeks, everything really would have been on the skids.

Sorry, David, what does that mean? Everything?

The punter's paying top dollar, mate.

We could have lost everything cos of that.

No, I just wondered what else you're talking about.

I'm just talking about a half-eaten burger.

-It sounds to me like you're starting to get a bit personal.

-Behave.

Max?

Max.

Hey!

Look, mate, I don't know the details.

I do know that you're having a few issues with Lauren.

Right, and how is that any of your business, David?

Me and you, you know, we're fair game, ain't we?

We're old enough and ugly enough to take it.

But I know what it's like, you know, dads and daughters.

So whatever you thought I was talking about out there,

it really was only about a mouldy old burger, all right?

Yeah, all right. Fair enough.

I mean, personally, I think you're a lucky man.

Yeah, right. How do you work that out?

Well, Lauren chose to come and live with you, didn't she?

She chose you, not her mum.

-Yeah.

-Bianca never did that with me.

How are they doing?

-Yeah, OK.

-Mick...!

-But they won't be. I told you.

He won't.

Sooner or later, he's going to mess up

and Nancy's going to have a ringside seat.

You all right? Just getting some food for the boys.

Wouldn't have thought that one would have much of an appetite left.

Cheers, thank you. I'll be with you in a second... Thank you.

Mum, do you mind if I make myself a quick cup of tea?

-I can manage it, darling.

-Yeah, you look like it.

-Are you on your own?

-Yeah. Marie's off today.

So where's Ian? Man flu, is it?

-Could you flip those eggs for me as well, please?

-I'll do it.

Oh, all right. Lovely, thanks.

So is Ian not coming in today at all, then?

He's got problems at the restaurant.

What time's your test? Do you need me to help?

No. Don't make a fuss. I'll sort it.

-You sure?

-Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Right, I'll see you later. Thanks for the tea.

-Sorry.

-See you.

-Do you want to put that back?

-What do you mean?

That fiver you just took out of the till

when you thought my back was turned.

And let that be a lesson to you.

Leaving the till open, anyone could have helped themselves,

and to the whole lot, not just a poxy fiver.

Let's call it my good deed for the day.

Or you can keep it.

Call it your wages for, say, the next hour?

-Yeah, all right.

-Come here, put this on.

Shirl? You've got contacts, haven't you?

-Contacts?

-People that know people.

People that can shift things.

I'd ask my nan, but she's at Lynne's.

I hope you're not talking about what I think you're talking about.

No, I'll show you.

Yeah, that's right, I called a couple of days ago...

Yeah, great, see you then.

Oi! Big Ears. Back off.

Take no notice of her, she ain't worth it.

-You having a go?

-And if I am?

-Bring it on.

-I'm getting the next bus.

-Good. Cos if you don't, I am!

Now see what you've done!

Someone's all fingers and thumbs.

I only said fingers and thumbs. I didn't say clumsy cow.

Good girl.

You having a clear-out?

Yeah, I'm selling up.

Leaving the Square.

Me and Bella are going back to my mum's.

You and Bella?

I'm sorry.

Well, you know what they say.

There's plenty more fish in the sea.

It's teeming with it, apparently. SHE CHUCKLES

Yeah. Even with all this global warming.

Just don't go near the cod.

Cos it's a bit scarce at the moment, from what I've been reading. It's...

Whiting's OK though.

Or a bit of tuna, if you fancy it.

I'm... I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry for your troubles.

Maybe I'll even hook one like you.

Maybe you will.

Only, in my case, my wife hooked me first.

You're a good man.

I mean it, I'm sorry.

So am I.

Good luck, yeah?

Thank you.

Thought they said that lightning don't strike twice.

This'll be the second time we're out on our ears.

-What's the matter?

-Lady Di's gone AWOL.

-Where did you get that lot?

-Don't matter where I got it.

I'm more interested in where it's going. Help shift it, you'll get a cut.

What sort of cut?

-10%.

-20.

10. Any deals you do, you do them here, I want to listen.

I don't want you telling me you got 100 for this lot when, all the time, you got 150.

Actually, Mick's thinking about doing some decent grub.

What's happening, Lauren? I've just passed Beauty,

and all the stuff is being loaded into a van.

Yep. Sadie's closing down.

Oh, right, it's the full house, is it?

First her marriage, and now her business.

Abi, you cannot make me feel any worse than I already do.

I still can't get my head around all of this.

I mean, it was Jake all along, the mystery man?

Have you seen her, Sadie?

-And?

-I thought if I could talk to her and tell her that it was nothing,

because it was, Abi, it was nothing, and it's over. But...

But that's not how she sees it?

She still loves him, I know she does.

-Lauren, it...

-I can't just walk away from this.

What does that mean?

I can't just do nothing.

Well, you said it yourself. It's over. Just leave it.

You bunking off again?

What's it to you? You don't even live with us any more.

Just do one, Peter.

You keep on like this, it's going to be you that's doing one.

What do you want?

I just want to talk.

An hour or so ago, you wouldn't even get on the same bus as me.

-But now you want to talk.

-What are we going to do?

Well, it's nothing to do with you, anyway.

Of course it's to do with me. We did this, me and you.

Well, that's not how I see it.

So how many other lads you slept with, then?

-Is he hassling you?

-Him?

He'll never make a spook, will he?

-What?

-Not if that was his idea of talking in code.

Look, I've met loads of girls like you.

First thing they go off are eggs.

Sadie...

I just came to get some stuff.

It doesn't have to be like this.

It wasn't my choice.

Wasn't Bella's either.

How is she?

It... It isn't mine.

I gave up everything for you, Jake.

Made you the centre of everything.

There you go again. Saint Sadie.

What?!

Made me the centre of everything?

Controlled everything, more like.

Telling me what to do, and when to do it.

Picking out all my little faults.

I'll send round a van to collect the rest of our things.

HE SOBS

Oh! Thank the Lord.

Saw you in the salon. Didn't know how long you'd be.

That Sadie looked like she was pouring her heart out.

-She was a bit, yeah.

-Maritals, was it?

Was, seems to be the word.

She looked in a right old state. Come on to you, did she?

I'd have done the same in her position.

-Poor cow.

-Yeah.

-SHE SIGHS

-Talking of dozy mares...

He's getting through the work, I'll give him that.

No idea how, mind you.

He's had his hands full of our daughter for most of the morning.

I just thought, you know,

if he's around all the time, he'll mess up.

Come on to a punter, or he'd get on Nancy's nerves,

or we'd get on his nerves, then she'd really see him for what he...

For what he really is.

Just doesn't seem to be working, though, does it?

But it will.

And you know why?

Cos you said so.

Maybe it's time to step this up a bit.

Oi!

David...

All right? You got a day off?

No.

Oh, I must be hallucinating.

Perhaps it's Liam's new aftershave!

You got two minutes?

If you must.

I thought you was different.

You ain't though, are you?

You're just like the rest, don't matter what Liam says.

He's family, TJ, he's biased, I ain't nothing special.

That pregnancy test.

-Mm.

-It wasn't Whitney's.

So whose was it, then?

And what does she think about it?

I don't know. She won't even talk to me.

Well, you can still talk to her, can't you?

She won't. I've tried.

Look, TJ, you should really talk to your dad about all this...

I don't want him to know. I thought, if I could talk to someone else...

Family is best for something like this.

And I am a bit busy at the moment.

-Maybe later, then?

-Like I said.

When it comes to this, you can't beat your own. Honestly.

-Promise me you won't tell Dad, though, yeah?

-Hmm?

I promise you I won't tell your dad.

Oh, go on, then, go and stick the kettle on. Five minutes.

I've put a note in the door. But just in case,

-would you mind telling people that we're closed?

-Yeah, of course.

Did you see Lauren?

You can't blame her for this, Sadie.

I think your husband's got to take responsibility.

Is that the voice of experience talking?

He's not the only one, is he? Older man, young girl.

Well, I've learnt my lesson. I think Lauren has too.

Didn't seem to have learnt too many earlier on.

What does that mean?

I have.

In fact, she's probably done me a favour with Jake.

Didn't intend to, mind you, but still...

After everything I've done for her.

She really is just a stupid little girl, isn't she?

Her and Jake, they're made for each other.

SHE KNOCKS

Jake!

HAMMERING AT DOOR

Jake?

Jake, please!

Sadie's at the salon and she's packing everything up.

You need to go over there, you need to try and stop her!

Jake?

I'm sorry...

-All right, listen to me...

-..for what I said.

What I did.

It was just the shock of...Bella, and Sadie...

This isn't the way, you're not going to get your family back like this.

That's all gone.

It doesn't need to be.

I was thinking, maybe this is good.

Maybe this is what?

You know, Sadie, she had to find out sometime.

And Bella.

And no, we...we wouldn't have wanted them to find out like that,

but they have and it's out there now.

And now there's nothing in the way.

In the way of what?!

Me... Me and you.

We can go where we want, do what we want. Together.

Jake, you...

You're not going to bail on me, are you?

Not after all this!

Come on, we spoke about this.

Yeah, I know. I know, but that was before.

And I understood, I did,

everything was stacked against us, but now it's not.

I just feel like you need some time.

For what?

I love you,

you love me.

At least, that's what you've been telling me over and over and over

for the last few months.

So what's the point in thinking about anything?

I spoke to Sadie today and I asked her if she still loved you.

-What's that got to do with anything now?

-She didn't say anything.

She didn't say yes, but she didn't say no.

And if she didn't love you, she would have just said so, wouldn't she?

But this is between me and you now.

So come on. Let's go.

Let's get out of here now. Let's do it.

I can't.

Why not?

Because I... Well...

I haven't got any things with me, have I?

I'll buy you new things.

I can't just... I'll need to talk to my dad, won't I? And my sister.

What for? Who cares about them?

PHONE BUZZES

If there is no me and you...

..then what's the point?

There is none.

I'd rather the two of us ended here and now, ended everything.

I'd rather the two of us never walked out that door again.

If you don't come with me, I swear...

..I don't know what I'll do.

Ooh, sorry.

Ah! Ooh.

I think I should have a word with Ian.

I thought you weren't going to say anything.

See if I can make this a bit more permanent.

Me working here?

Well, we can't rely on him, can we? Look at today.

And I'm going to have to take some time off in the next couple of weeks,

you know, family stuff and that. Think about it.

You're going to be working for Ian?

Well, then I only have to work in the Vic for my rent.

Only, I really... I don't want him knowing about...

Anyway, there's no point. It'll all be sorted later on.

-You're not keeping it?

-Do I look like a muppet?

Got an appointment. Three o'clock.

Come on.

Come on!

Jake, we can just talk about this...

Just get in the car.

-Ow!

-Just get in the car.

PHONE BUZZES

What are you doing?

I told you, I'm going to need to tell

-'someone, aren't I?

-No!'

-Dad! Dad!

-'..Jake, please...'

-It's Lauren.

-'..I already said, you're not telling anyone!'

It's just me and you now.

Jake... Jake, please just let me out.

Why won't you listen to me?

-Jake, just stop the car.

-Lauren, get off!

No, no, no, please. Lauren!

Lauren!

You OK? Come on. Come on.

Kat...is Tommy... Are you OK?

She's fine. You're all right, aren't you, darling?

Tommy's not in there. That maniac could have killed me!

What am I going to do with this lot now?

I'm OK, Daddy. I'm fine.

What is all this?

Don't ask.

Linda? Have you got a grinder, like a meat thing?

-What?

-I'm going to make pies.

Bit late for lunch, innit?

Do a late lunch.

Oh, put that away, no-one wants to look at that.

Shut up. What's the matter with you?

You seen my old jeans? My old painting jeans?

-Painting jeans?

-The ones he wears when he's doing his messy jobs

-so he don't get his good clothes dirty.

-What do you want them for?

All in good time.

I'll have a coffee to go, please, Tina, darling.

Sorry, I'm off shift. You'll have to wait for Carol, she's in the lavvy.

It's no wonder these places go under.

I just don't think you should go by yourself.

I don't care about doing stuff by myself. I prefer it.

I don't need someone making out like it's some big drama. It's not.

OK, look, I went on my own once, when I was your age.

I don't want to interrupt your little chat, but I'm in a rush here.

I'm actually spilling my heart out here about an abortion I had

when I was 14 years old, so if you don't mind...

-Yeah, you come back later.

-Yeah, I will.

That's my sister's boyfriend, you know. What if he goes back...?

I was the same, all right? Wanted to do everything by myself.

My family never really cared very much.

Really?

Yeah, and the boy - he was just like telling me to get rid.

-Didn't even like him that much. And my sister...

-You're lying.

You have a kid, Peter told me.

Yeah, before her.

Oh, all right. I just don't think you should go by yourself,

it's not right.

Well, I'm getting the bus.

From where?

George Street.

I'll meet you there.

I mean, I do feel sorry for her.

But how am I supposed to help if she won't tell...?

-Are you listening?

-Of course I am, TJ. I've been listening for the last hour and a half, ain't I?

Whatever, David. Thanks for...whatever that was.

-Sit back down, young man.

-No, it don't matter.

Sit down. I ain't finished with you yet.

DOORBELL RINGS

You'll never believe who it is.

Here, have a look.

What?

What a surprise.

Hello, love.

You promised not to tell.

Your dad. I promised not to tell your dad.

Come in the warm with Abi,

-don't stand here in the cold.

-I can't get through to Jake.

-That's no bad thing.

-I need to find him, Nan.

You don't need to do anything.

He could have killed you, or Kat or Tommy.

Imagine if Tommy had been in that pram.

Jake doesn't know that he wasn't.

-She's gone after Jake.

-Oh!

Lauren!

That would have been a bit strong, wouldn't it, really?

So I whacked her on my shoulders, right,

and I've left with her, right.

And he's standing up there, right, thinking - I don't know, what were you thinking?

I dunno.

-He dunno, he don't know what he was thinking, does he?

-Dad.

So I thought, that's the end of him, but he's persistent, ain't ya?

-You're a persistent little thing.

-Dad!

-What's the matter, baby?

OTHERS LAUGH

-What are you doing?

-Well, I'm helping him out, ain't I?

-I'm helping the boys out.

-What are you really doing?

I'm giving him a chance.

-Really?

-Yes, I am. I am.

Because that's what you want, all right?

-I'll leave you to it. You know where the kettle is. Make yourself at home.

-What you done, darling?

-Nothing.

-David, what's he done?

-Mum!

-Look, this is family business, Nikki. I'm better off out of it.

Well, you're the one summoning me here.

-Well, go on, then, tell her.

-I'm going to school.

He got some girl into trouble.

"Into trouble", into trouble.

What, "into trouble"?

-Yes.

-TJ?

What?

Yeah, cheers.

DOOR SHUTS

I don't want to touch that, Shirley.

Look, this is a family-run pub.

There's more to that than just pints.

-That's for you.

-Cheers.

-What are we going to do with it?

-Pies.

-Pies?

-Pubs sell pies. Problem?

-I should go and change.

What's the matter with you? You're like your father.

-What's happened to the Carter men?

-Shirl?

-Oh, sorry.

-Thanks.

-There's hair in this.

Then pick it out, princess.

Seriously, I totally screwed up with my daughter,

I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

I just think you've got to be cut out a certain way to be a mum.

Like, you've got to really want to be one.

Ain't that your lad?

-Oi!

-Don't.

-Oi, you! What's his name?

-Can you stop?

Are you going to talk to me now?

Oh, you've got time for talking, have you?

I think it's a bit late for that, don't you?

-You know where we're off to?

-What's the matter with you?

You going to...?

Yeah.

Do you want me to come with you?

Well, I don't care.

-Lauren!

-Dad, can you just...?

-Jake...? Oh, voicemail.

-What's the matter with you?

You gone mad, or what?!

He's drunk, he's scared, Sadie's left him...

Lauren, listen to yourself. What are you playing at, running after him?

Are you going to ride the Tube looking for him?

Don't you think he could be anywhere?

I've got to do something. Maybe he's gone to a meeting, or gone to see a counsellor...

In the state he's in?

He's a grown man, all right? He's not your problem.

No, no, he's not YOUR problem, Dad.

Can you just stop getting involved? You're going to make things worse.

You're already making things worse.

MOBILE RINGS

Jake, where are you?

Right, please don't hang up. Just tell me where you are.

Lauren. Just give me the phone.

Dad, please, just trust me. You owe me this.

I'm coming now, just don't do anything, just wait for me there.

Look at this one.

I don't know what she was doing there. She's flexible, innit?

-Brought you some teas.

-Thank you. Thank you.

-You don't stop, do you, darling?

-No.

We need to kick this up a notch, baby.

Wayne, you going to come upstairs, have something to eat with us, son?

No, I was going to get some food across the caff.

-No, you've got to, son.

-Me and Nance said we'd get some lunch...

-Don't you worry about Nancy, she'll eat with us, yeah? Yep.

-Yeah.

He's still not picking up.

What time do the kids get out round here? Three? Four?

Oi, you're not hanging around here all day.

Well, where do you want me to wait? Yours? Terry's?

Have you had this with your kids? What do I say to him?

Look, Nikki, kids don't care whether you get it right,

they just care that you try.

That may not be a rule I stick to, but I know it's the rule.

Oh, sorry, you're in a meeting... Oh, Nikki.

Hello, Carol. You all right?

Nikki's just thinking about buying a car, ain't you? Buying a car.

Oh, right. Nice of you to bring your business round here.

Terry know you're here? Bianca?

We was just discussing her options, really, weren't we?

I won't be long.

Going to see your kids while you're here?

-I might stop by.

-Was seeing if you wanted some lunch, but never mind.

No, I can, I can do lunch.

What, in the middle of a sale?

Of course not. It's all right.

What was all that about? You're not doing anything wrong.

Are you?

Jake!

What are you doing here?

It's what I deserve.

-Prison. Can't do any damage in there, can I?

-What?

The car, I... I...

No! No, no, no, no.

There was no-one in that buggy, Jake.

You didn't... Everything's OK.

I'm sorry.

Let's just get you away from here, yeah? You can just leave that.

What? Why? Because "everything's OK"?

What? Do you want some?

-Have either of you got any money?

-What for?

I forgot my Oyster, can I borrow yours?

-It won't go twice.

-All right,

there ain't anybody waiting, you can hang on a minute, you know!

You sure you want to do this?

No, I think having a baby at 15 is a great idea(!)

-Shall we get married(?)

-It's how much? That is mental!

I'm not saying we should keep it.

Good.

-Just, a baby's a big...

-A baby! It's not a baby, it's not anything,

it hasn't got a face or a brain, or lungs!

It hasn't got anything, OK? It's not a baby.

I suppose.

Who wants to be a parent, anyway?

-Let me get you another.

-I'm all right.

-Liquid energy, ain't it, Mick?

-Yeah. Liquid energy,

-that's what we say.

-That's what we say, Wayne!

-There you go, son.

Oh, Mick, what are you like? He said he was fine.

Sorry about that, Wayne.

Do you know what I fancy?

I fancy a really lovely nice bit of steak tonight.

-What do you fancy, Wayne?

-Oh, a Carter steak!

-Nice bit of steak, yeah?

-Me and Nance, we got plans, innit?

-You could come here before.

-I'm here now.

-Wayne!

-This is weird.

-What, sweetie?

This is weird. It's weird, Nance.

-You want a little bit of alone time, don't you?

-Oh.

-Come on, you!

-Oh!

Ah!

I ain't up for this, all this, like, family dinners and stuff.

-Just leave me out of it.

-All what?!

-You ain't getting away with being rude to my family.

-Carter steak!

-Even when they act like freaks?

-I don't care if they come in here naked,

you've still got to be polite to my mum and dad.

Like you was to my family?

I was as polite as anyone can be to your family.

Hold on, what's wrong with my family? At least they're not mental!

-Your family are consistently rude to me.

-Since when?

-Your mum is always rude to me.

-Yeah. She's got good reason to be.

What do you mean, she's got good reason to be? What are you saying?

-You're rude, innit?

-What?

-Kat, you can have the first one.

-No, you're all right.

Oh, come on, we've got a good arrangement here.

-You put me onto this. It's only fair.

-Shirley.

-Get that back.

-What?

-It's so disgusting.

-Well, you're the chef.

-That's not what I mean.

-I'll have some, I'm starving.

-You don't want to.

-Why?

Look, I won't tell you what happened, but trust me, you don't want to.

Looks nice. Maybe cos you're pregnant...

See ya later.

What am I looking at here?

Same question.

I was doing the grinder thingy,

I was turning it, and it got stuck...

and this was in there.

-What? In the mincer?

-In the meat.

It's dog meat.

It ain't dog meat!

What, do you think they took the fur off and left the tag?

-Then why else is it in there?

-I dunno.

You can't keep serving those pies.

-The Chinese eat dog.

-So it is dog.

It's not dog!

Go on, then, you eat one.

No, you're all right.

-'You're too rude, you know that?

-Shut up. Don't talk to me.'

And, you two, yeah...

-Can you go downstairs, please?!

-'I'm gone!'

-What was that?

-What have we done?

All trying to psych him out, acting all touchy-feely

and offering him food...

Just trying to be friendly.

-You two done?

-No.

-But you...

-Would that have made you happy, yeah?

If I'd broke up with him because you made me want to?

No-one could have made me want to dump your dad.

You know, not everyone wants a sickly-sweet little relationship like you, you know!

I would rather eat my own vomit than have a relationship like you.

Well, that worked like a charm(!)

But she was all right?

Yeah. Yeah, no, she was fine.

No, it's just, I need to go the solicitors.

The solicitors?

Yeah, it's nothing to worry about.

It's just a little surprise for you.

You sure you don't want to wait for her?

DOOR OPENS

-Did you find him?

-Oh, no, no. What is this, Lauren? No, no, no.

-What is this?

-Just get in there.

Look, I'm really sorry about before...

-Jake, just go in there.

-No, not go in there, Lauren.

I don't want him in this house. Get him out of this house.

Dad, I just need to talk to him! Come on, just get in there.

He's not going to kick off or anything,

-he's just... He's just sad.

-He's sad, is he?

Well, I feel for him, Lauren(!)

Well, you should. He hasn't done anything you ain't done.

Well, actually, he has, cos he's a mess, and he's an alcoholic.

All right, fine, well, he hasn't done anything that we haven't done.

Sorry, no money.

-How much longer?

-Appointment's at three, I told you.

Can't even afford a cuppa on your dad's poxy wages...

He's not my dad!

-Shouldn't he be here? Or your sister or something?

-No.

-This don't matter to you at all, does it?

-No. Why would it?

-Why am I here, then?

-I don't know, why are you here?

Fine. Fine, then. Enjoy your abortion.

Jerk!

If you were me, you'd do this, right?

Yeah. Of course.

Even though you'd never have your kid...

I don't mean like you wish her dead or anything,

just like, if you could have never had her...

I don't know. I do love her...

I guess it's like if you could have been an only child,

or you could have had millionaire parents.

It's just a different life.

-Look, I'll say sorry...

-Yeah. You'd better.

You going to have that face on all day?

# Move closer

# Move your body real close until we... #

I wanted to apologise, if I was out of line earlier.

Oh, don't give it another thought, you.

# ..Feel like we're really making love... #

Have you seen?

I need to show you something, Nancy. Upstairs, please.

-Mrs Carter, I wanted to apologise...

-Upstairs, Nancy.

-What are you doing?

-Nothing.

You all right, Cora? You going in?

I was intending to. Or are we climbing through windows nowadays?

Listen, I've got to go out.

-You couldn't just keep an eye on Lauren for me, could you?

-She's back?

Well, yeah, they just got back.

They? Don't tell me Jake's with her!

Hardly your best move.

You stole his phone! You are a full-blown psycho.

I can't believe you looked at these pictures.

I wouldn't be worried about me looking...

-You know I don't normally, like...

-No, no, of course.