24/12/2011 EastEnders Omnibus

Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!

Ho! Merry Christmas, everybody!

Merry Christmas, Walford!

Tonight at six o'clock in the Queen Vic,

we are celebrating Walford's finest son, Ian Albert Beale!

He's going to be marrying the beautiful Mandy.

I've still got to get presents for, you know, Morgan, Tiff, Whitney, Carol.

I ain't exactly been the best dad recently, have I?

Or ever, I would argue.

-Shut up, Janine.

-Pat, after everything I've done for you.

-What, are you going to hold this over her for ever?

-I... I want everyone to be happy.

Well, tough. You're the bank now, ain't ya? And you know how people feel about banks.

Pat, you all right? Pat?

Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.

See, all that bitterness cannot be good for your health.

Hey, look who it is, everybody! Our very own...Ian Beale!

Nice day for a wedding, ain't it, Alfie?

-No, I'm Santa. Santa.

-Ha!

You coming along tonight, Ricky? 6pm?

It's a wedding that doesn't end up in prison - which for you is a novelty.

Oh, and you.

-Is she still marrying him?

-Looks like it, yeah.

What?

Listen, Pat, I've done a terrible thing, you know.

Kamil, baba. Please, Mummy's very tired, OK?

When your father knows what's happening,

he'll be there for us, all right? Don't worry.

Sandwich?

No, thank you.

You should. You know what plane food's like.

-I'm sorry?

-I've managed to book us on a flight today.

-Today?

-Why wait?

Because...that's what we'd decided. You know, there's...

We can't just leave like that - there's so much to do. BANGING CONTINUES

Can you...

Everything's done at the surgery, you're done at the Minute Mart. Afia and Tamwar will take care of admin.

You just need to pack your bag.

Eat your sandwich.

Yes, it's about my application for a Prohibited Steps Order... DOOR BELL RINGS

No, I left a message but he didn't call back.

OK, I'll wait. Yeah.

I know it's Christmas, but dead goose just creeps me out.

Oh, sorry, you're on the phone.

-On hold.

-They were just hanging there, you know...

with their stringy little necks.

Want a bit?

Are you joking?

-Bacon. Sorry.

-Hm.

You'd better get used to life without them. When you convert.

It was after me and Bianca had a fight, and Mandy was just there.

But that's no excuse. Everything Bianca's done for this family...

And for me!

I mean, a bloke like me never gets a girl like Bianca.

Let alone a second chance with her. And then I go and do this.

I've got to pick her up in a couple of days, what am I going to tell her?

Nothing. You're a good boy, Ricky. Stop worrying.

It'll sort itself out.

There you go. There's one ring.

-Lovely.

-There's the other one. Alfie, don't lose them.

"Don't lose them"! It'll be OK.

-OK, is the fizz in the fridge?

-Yes.

-OK. Food?

Yeah, caterers brought all that in this morning. Jean's a bit off form, I don't want to take any chances.

-Is the cake here yet?

-Course the cake's here, and there's a piece with your name on it, young man!

-So, how's the bride looking?

-I don't know. It's bad luck!

All right, do you want to calm down a little bit?!

Deep breaths! Come 6pm, you'll walk through that door, she'll be on your arm.

It'll be beautiful!

-What are you wearing that for?

-I've got a wedding to go to, ain't I?

Just because we don't like each other, Ian, doesn't mean we're not friends.

This way your rings won't get pawned cos he's heard a whisper about a horse.

-It only happened the once! OK, it was twice. But I got lucky.

-Lucky for you.

-What happened to the tie I gave you?

-Little accident with a fried egg.

But no-one got hurt.

-But we don't match.

-What's the difference?

-It's a wedding! The groom, best man, usher,

we're all supposed to be co-ordinated. We match, OK? I'll get you another one.

-I'll meet you out front. You stick with him.

-OK...

Listen, Kat, you don't have to come if you don't want to, darling.

He's a mate, ain't he?

You look beautiful, by the way.

And I have to hear it from Afia. Via text. What is the rush?

It's the house. We have to sign the transfer forms for the house in Karachi by a certain date

or the sale won't go through.

What? And they only just told you?

Yes, only now. You know what they're like.

-When do you go?

-Car at three.

-Car...

Oh, and that's it, is it?

Tamwar, it won't be long before we're all there.

Yeah, I know, yeah, but...

I just thought we'd all go together.

Oh, Tamwar.

Syed's not going to like this.

By the time he comes back, there won't be much he can do about it.

Are you serious?

Trust me. Everything's going to be fine.

Oh, that's not really your colour, is it, love?

-How did you get in?

-Please.

Yeah, well, I've got a wedding to go to.

Is this it, then? What you've always wanted? Nice little house.

Married to a man you don't love.

I do love Ian.

I knew his mother, doll. Even she struggled.

I do.

Is that why you're throwing yourself at Ricky?

Boy can't keep his mouth shut, you know it.

I never threw myself at anyone, Pat. He was well up for it.

In fact I've had blokes straight out of prison that were less keen.

Classy, Mandy.

-You're lecturing me on class?

-No.

But I was married to a man I didn't love and it weren't much fun. But like you say, who am I to lecture?

Right, well, off you go, then.

Hm... Ta-ra.

Oh, I nearly forgot.

You lay another hand on Ricky and, so help me,

I will flatten you, even if it takes my last breath.

Like I said - not your colour.

Come on, mate, in you get. Come on, in you get.

And tuck your shirt in, as well. Right, get your seatbelt on.

There you go, mate.

Oh, look at this beauty. This is going to be a good day.

Rings?

2.30 at Newmarket.

Don't! Don't. No, no, don't listen to her, they're safe and sound, all right?

Got 'em right here. But more importantly, the wedding mix.

You know what, this must be the only car on Earth that still has a tape deck.

# You're the best thing that ever... #

Oh, c'mon, Alfie!

Oh, come on, you lovely people, strap yourselves in and get ready for romance. What a tune!

LAUGHTER

# You're the best thing that ever happened... #

Car...

Oh, look at that, I've run out of my moisturiser.

I'll just pop out for a few moments.

You can buy it over there.

-What? This brand? I don't think so.

-At the airport, then.

For twice as much?!

I'll get it. You keep packing.

Yusef, you are an incredible man,

but a woman's moisturiser is her own business.

Come on, baba. Let's go.

I'll look after him.

He'll just slow you down.

Thank you.

Ten minutes.

At the most.

Zainab.

Yes?

I love you.

I love you too.

The solicitor's sent the application. He's confident we'll get the order, which means

she can't take Kamil out of the country without permission.

-Great.

-Yeah, but if she wants to ignore the order and take him,

which she probably can, it's a crime! DOOR BELL RINGS

But here's the thing - once they're in Pakistan,

there's nothing the police, the courts or anyone can do.

It's up to me.

BELL RINGS AGAIN

We're divorced, Zainab. That means blessed relief from you nagging me.

I'm not in the mood, Zainab.

­ Who is it?

No-one.

Ten minutes.

Everything OK?

Fine.

So... Rogan josh?

The butcher had goose?

Geese, multiple.

The butcher next to the library, right?

Yeah. Not the halal butcher, then.

-I am so sorry.

-It's OK.

-I didn't even think.

-It's OK.

It's not OK, Masood!

I'm trying really hard here and you're giving me nothing.

I mean, making me feel guilty about eating a bacon sarnie,

which is about a basic a human right as there is. Meanwhile, I'm getting drunk and making a fool of myself.

SHE SIGHS

I just wonder if this whole thing's just...

too hard.

Come here.

It's not too hard. Look at me.

It's not too hard.

-Promise?

-I promise.

-I don't want to convert.

-You don't have to convert.

-Really?

-Not unless you want to.

-Do you want me to?

-Well, only if you want to.

-You don't require it?

-No.

-So I don't have to?

-I'm surprised you even offered!

-I got a bit carried away, didn't I?

-Yeah.

I'm sorry about the lamb.

That's all right.

Look, give me 20 minutes to get some veg

and I will break a 100-year family tradition

by teaching Great-Great-Auntie Shabnam's aloo bhajia recipe to a Muggle.

Is that what you call us?

You'll never know.

I'll get out of the way, let you get your pictures taken. Congratulations, by the way.

There's no hurry, they're running a bit behind in there.

Yeah, how much?

Well, I wouldn't want to push it.

Well she's not that late, is she?

-No.

-She's, um, building the excitement.

Yes, exactly. Don't forget, six o'clock, OK?

-Yeah, yeah.

-Got the rings? Yes, I've got the rings. They're safe and sound.

-Ties look brilliant, Ian.

-Yeah, they do, don't they?

Brilliant.

Ah, there we are.

I was talking to the estate agent in Karachi -

you know they're putting kids' play equipment in the park up the road?

Really? How wonderful.

Mum, I still don't know what the rush is.

It's only a couple of weeks.

We'll call when we've landed.

Have a nice flight.

Thank you for all your help, Tamwar.

-Jokes are not your thing, are they?

-Oh, come on, that's funny!

-Yeah. Well, if you say so.

Finally.

Hi, it's me again. I'm guessing you're stuck in a tunnel or something.

Look, give us a ring if you're lost, yeah?

-Is she coming?

-Yeah, course she is.

Whoa, hold on, mate!

Hold on, you can't close up yet. I haven't been... And it's not even...

I'll tell you what, just give us five more minutes.

-She's, um, stuck in the tunnel.

-Sorry.

-Oh, come on, five minutes won't hurt.

-Yeah. Look, I'll pay extra.

Here you go. Hang on. How much is that? That's...

-Look, come on, Alfie, we'll help.

-Yeah, but I don't think I've got much on me.

Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. How about...£2.60?

-It's all I've got.

-Give me the rings! Give me the rings!

-Oh, Ian, you don't have to do this.

-Thanks.

Hang on, mate. Go on, look, please... Take these.

OK, look, you'll easily, easily get a hundred quid for them.

Come on, please. I just want five more minutes.

I'm going to ignore the attempted bribe, sir.

-Call tomorrow and we'll get you a new appointment.

-Look, don't go! I just want to get married.

I just want to get married.

Come on, buddy. Let's go home, eh? Come on.

-TANNOY:

-'Passengers for Flight 4035...'

Flight 4026 to Karachi...

There we are. Zone D.

Down there.

Zainab!

Zone D. Come on.

MUSIC: "Wonderful Christmastime" by Paul McCartney

Merry Christmas, Janine.

Next, please.

-How are you today, sir?

-I'm fine, thank you.

-How many bags is it, sir?

-Three.

-Lovely. And three passengers?

-That's right.

One child and two adults.

-If I could just get your passports.

-Can you tell me where the lost property is?

-Yeah.

Take a right and follow the signs.

Thank you.

I just need the other passports.

Zainab? Passports?

Kamil's. Where's yours?

What?!

All right, go get yourself some crisps and a drink.

I'll be back in a minute.

Just wait there.

Did you even put it on?

Did you ever intend to turn up?

Look, Mandy, when you agreed to marry me, did you actually think that, you know -

you'd actually HAVE to marry me?

-Of course I did.

-Then why didn't you?!

Why did you just leave me standing there?

It was me, Bobby, Alfie. We were stood there in our stupid matching ties.

I even begged the guy to give us some more time. I actually begged him!

D'you know what, I got the rings out to try and get us some more time.

-Well, I'm surprised you even noticed I was missing.

-What? So it's my fault?

It was meant to be special, Ian. You know - flowers, presents, a party.

It was meant to be my wedding!

-We're having a party.

-No. Not a proper one!

Mandy, all I wanted, right, all I wanted in this life

was to walk into the Vic at six o'clock with you wearing that dress. As my wife.

And they'd see - they'd see the most beautiful girl in the world, OK?

Ian Beale's wife. And d'you know what, for once,

they'd have to take me seriously. They'd be saying "D'you know what, maybe we were wrong about Ian Beale."

-"They" being Jane.

-No. Not just her.

Well, that's why I didn't show up, Ian.

Because you don't care about me. This is all about Jane.

-Of course it's about Jane! Why would you even think it wasn't?

-You don't love me, then?

Oh, Mandy, of course I love you.

Yeah, but what do you want? Do you want some teenage perfect romance,

where we're each other's world and we never think about another person again, is that it?

You've been around. Of course it's about Jane.

And Cindy, and Mel, and Laura. And just cos you're here, they're not going to disappear, are they?

It doesn't mean I don't love you. And it doesn't mean I don't want to marry you.

Oh, come on, Mandy, we can be happy. We're still together.

I mean look, we've still got the dress.

No.

I tell you what, we don't have to do all the formal stuff.

We can do that at a later date. But, I mean, go on, just... just put it on, we'll go over there,

we'll have a good laugh.

No. I'm sorry.

Listen...

..for what it's worth...

I enjoyed what we had.

I don't mind that we've not worked out

and we might not be right for each other.

D'you know what, maybe everybody WAS right.

But, d'you know what, they don't know you like I do.

I really think you're the most special person on earth.

And for the first time in a long time, you made me happy with who I am.

So, for that, thank you.

-Your mother lost her passport.

-What? The most organised woman in the world?

Yes, it is uncharacteristic. I'll phone them in the morning about a new one.

We'll go as soon as it arrives.

-I'll run you a bath.

-I'm fine.

-I think it's best.

-Tamwar, can you look after Kamil?

-He'll be all right.

-I'm asking you, Tamwar.

-Sure.

Come on.

It's been a really weird day.

So, what, she just left him at the altar?

-Somehow that should make me happy. But no-one deserves something like that.

-Who's this?

-Ian.

-Kat.

What? They're going to find out anyway. Left at the altar.

-Why?

-Got no idea.

Well, he deserved it.

What? Just cos I'm the only one that'll actually say it.

Oi, he's a decent bloke. And a good dad.

So wind your neck in or drink somewhere else.

-You all right, darling?

-Is he all right?

-Oh, Jane, I honestly don't know, darling.

I know it's come as a bit of a shock.

Talk of the devil, here he is.

You all right, mate? You want a bottle?

Yeah, please, mate. And a lemonade for Bobby.

-Sit down, I'll bring 'em over, all right?

-How you feeling?

-Yeah, I'm OK.

-Put your money away, this is on me.

Oh, cheers, Alf. Put the food out. There's no point in it going to waste, yeah?

DOOR OPENS

Bottle of champagne, please, Alfie.

Could you send it over to me and my husband?

I love you.

I love you, too.

Ladies and gentlemen, things didn't quite go as we planned, did they?

So, we're going to do it again. We're going to make it more special. Bigger. And you're all invited!

Come on, everybody, you heard the man. Let's have a big Queen Vic congratulations to my best mate.

Ian and Mandy!

-MUSIC PLAYS

-Alfie!

-Come on, it's a classic!

Come on, the food's on its way out. Drinks are on the house.

And, Merry Christmas, everybody!

And once again congratulations to the future Mr and Mrs Beale!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Not too bad, is it?

-No. It's not too bad.

< Oi, get a room, you two.

Tamwar?

Kamil.

Allah!

DOOR OPENS Tamwar?

-You look much more relaxed.

-Where's Kamil?

-He's safe.

-Where is he?

-With a friend.

I've just sent Tamwar off to pick up some dinner.

Quiet night's probably best for everyone.

What have you done with my son?

Relax, he's fine.

Everything's going to be fine.

-What about some of this?

-Come and sit down, sweetheart, hurry up.

-Well?

-Look at you! So, what's the occasion, then?

It's the interview with the benefit fraud office, you lemon.

It's not the bleedin' Mardi Gras, Jean!

Oi - she's doing this for you.

You look lovely, um, but wear a jacket and change that lippy, yeah?

But it's yours.

Well, that definitely screams "Lock me up!"

-No, sorry, no, I'm only joking.

-You're going to be fine, all right? Just focus on staying calm.

Oh, don't worry, Kat.

I saw two magpies out my window earlier - one for sorrow, two for joy!

What did I say?

What did I say?

So what's the plan, then?

The boys can rest easy - they're spared my cooking.

Why don't you let me make something?

What, after yesterday, you think that's any safer? No, I couldn't ask you to do that.

I know how precious time with your sons is right now - especially Kamil.

I just want to help.

You're a very wonderful woman, Jane.

-Yeah, I know - and that's why you're taking me out tonight.

-I am?

Yes, you are.

Oh...that's right, I am.

Why not treat this time without Kamil as an opportunity -

a chance to reflect,

work on your issues...

Issues?

I'm a patient man, Zainab, but everyone has their limits.

-Yes, I'm sorry. I won't get upset...

-Actions... Actions speak louder than words.

-Yes.

-We're married now.

Perhaps if you can prove to me you can be a loyal wife...

Of course.

..then we can all be a family together.

I've applied for a replacement passport - shouldn't be long now.

And I'm arranging for a new mobile phone for you in Pakistan. OK?

Thank you.

-All right, Max?

-Yeah. You all right, Ricky?

-Sure you got enough there?

-Yeah, well, kids deserve it, don't they?

-Bianca's out tomorrow, ain't she?

-Yeah.

Happy days. Going to be a great Christmas. See you later.

Oh, that's nice.

Liam.

Liam!

-What did she want?

-I ain't an idiot, you know.

-What?

-I get these things.

You're in a mood cos you're worrying Mum's coming out... after that row you had.

You know what she's like, kicks off over the slightest thing.

Deep down, she don't mean it.

Ricky.

What about these?

-Maybe not.

-Can we actually afford anything for her, or what?

Main thing is she'll be back.

-Answer their questions.

-But don't say too much.

-Don't let them confuse you.

-Good idea - play confused, Jean.

-Don't tell her what to do - you be yourself...

-It's not a date.

-Yeah - flirt.

-Remember the most important thing.

-Don't mention my name.

-We are here for you.

-If the worst comes to the worst...

-Lie.

-No! You tell the truth.

-No one's going to blame you.

-I will.

Nan! Are you sure I can't come with you?

Absolutely not. I am more than capable of standing on my own two feet.

-Really?

-Really.

-She'll be all right, won't she?

-Yeah, course she will. She'll be fine.

She wants to be, or I'm spending Christmas eating porridge.

-So Kamil's staying with Bushra?

-Yes.

Sorry - just to clarify - this is Bushra the "scheming old witch"

you'd rather stick pins in your eyes than talk to again?

That Bushra?

That's all in the past, all right? She's a very good friend of mine, she's helping me out.

Do you know how much there is to do for this move?

Mum's let Bushra Abbasi look after Kamil!

Zulekha never said. Only spoke to her last night.

It was a last-minute arrangement, right, Zainab?

Right.

Then why not let Dad?

What?

Seems perfectly reasonable to me.

-You're acting really weird lately, Mum.

-Tamwar! I've got a lot on my plate, all right?!

Can you not understand that?

Sorry.

Everything OK?

Yes, I'm absolutely fine, Afia.

It's just a big move, and we're all feeling a bit anxious.

But don't worry, I'll take good care of her.

OK. I'll see you later.

What did I say? What did I say?

I covered for you - I said that... that Kamil was with Bushra...

Exactly! Bushra? Afia is best friends with her daughter.

-I'm sorry.

-It's like you're deliberately trying to provoke me.

-I'm not. I'm not.

I'm trying to be a good wife, Yusef, please, I really am...

Try harder.

Yes.

How're things back here?

Yeah, good, thanks. Finally got Bobby's present sorted.

From us.

Thanks.

Seen much of Masood?

A bit.

How is he?

Putting on a brave face. It's not easy for him, Kamil being whisked away.

It's not like he's being kidnapped, and dad can see him whenever he likes.

And I'm sure you'll relish the peace and quiet - just the two of you.

Funny, I hadn't thought about it like that.

Guess I don't believe in using children.

I'm sure Amira would agree with you. We want what's best for our daughter, that's why we set up the business.

Which is why we'll be moving into Zainab's when she's gone.

Hm!

Watch your backs, folks, coming through, thank you!

All right, gorgeous? Are you there, girls?

-Here we are, right, I'll put these just here.

-What are they?

Something special. Something very special indeed...

-You can't fit Kelly Rowland in there!

-You want to lower your expectations?

We don't want 'em. We've got...

Hey! I'll explain all to you later.

-But you will be thanking me. See you later!

-Alfie!

-Be good!

Penguins? How on Earth are we going to shift these?

Disneyland? Wish Alfie'd take me there.

Are you going away, Ian?

Yeah, like a pre-wedding, honeymoon thing.

-Really?

-Yeah - get some good deals in January...

January?

Yeah - be a fool to go peak season.

And they say romance is dead. SHE LAUGHS

Tell you what, if I could afford it, I'd take Bianca for Christmas.

Guess it's only rich blokes that can do that, eh? Jammy gits.

MUSIC BOX PLAYS Here, how much is this? Tiff would love it.

Tenner.

Here, he don't know what he's on about - it's a fiver.

You sure?

Course I am.

-All right, Hev?

-Mm-hm.

Cos it's you, I'll throw in one of these as well.

You're all heart, ain't ya?

I'll see you later.

Do I get a discount an' all?

No! No, you don't. Bargain basement as it is, so no, sorry.

So you have to be young and pretty to get one of them, then, do you?

Which is why you get one as well.

Oh, thank you.

Boys, fancy earning a bit of extra cash?

Depends.

And is it legal?

All it involves is a little bit of dressing up.

BOTH: No.

How much you paying, Mo?

The factories there are incredible.

We found this one managed by this guy who's agreed to manufacture all our stock.

-And I'm overseeing the final designs this week.

-Sounds like you're really going places.

I wouldn't say Alan Sugar's got anything to worry about just yet. Mo Harris, maybe...

-Don't! He's been winding me up all week.

-Amira never imagined she'd end up flogging tat.

-Nor did you!

-True. But it's exciting though, isn't it? Starting out like this.

And we really love Karachi, don't we, Sy?

Yeah, it's beautiful.

I can't wait for us all to be out there.

Bit quiet, Mum.

I'm delighted for you.

You don't mind us looking after this place while you're away?

-It's just that living with Jane, it's a just a bit...

-Tense.

Of course. That is, if you don't mind?

Absolutely - makes perfect sense.

Sy, we'd better go - got a meeting with Janine in ten

and then back-to-back meetings after that.

(DISTANT) What time did you say this meeting was?

-I told you about it this morning.

-Which one?

Better.

(DISTANT) Janine's first, I know that one...

That's a table for eight at 2.45. Thank you, bye.

-ASIAN ACCENT:

-Ho! Ho! Ho! Hi hi hi!

Who says Muslims can't do Christmas?

A few people, but why quibble?

-So, we on for lunch?

-Lunch?

Yeah, I texted you.

Oh, I'm sorry, Dad, you did, but I have been rushed off my feet.

And actually, I reckon if I didn't work today,

Afia would literally kill me.

I'd do worse than that.

No worries. I guess it'll just have to be me and the little monster.

Kamil's not at home.

What d'you mean? Where is he?

And it's like this fog comes down. It's like I'm two different people.

Not in a nasty way, not like Jekyll and Hyde - well, sometimes.

It's just that one day I'm up, the next day I'm down.

Sorry, I'm babbling on, aren't I?

Stacey used to always say that. "Stop going on, Mum, shut up, Mum!"

Where was I? Erm...

Oh, yeah, that's it!

So, there's parts of me that thinks, "Yes, she broke the law, she's not mad,

"and she knew exactly what was going on,"

and there's another part of me

that really didn't know what was happening

and then when I realised I thought, "No, she's back again,

"getting me into trouble, spoiling everything all over again,"

and I think, "Please, please, don't let her be back again,"

because I really, really don't think I could cope with that again...

Sorry, can you explain who you're talking about?

Who? Jean, of course.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-You see? this is because of your ridiculous Bushra story.

-I'm sorry.

-Just make it right.

KNOCKING PERSISTS

Why, Zainab? Why are you trying to hurt me like this?

-I won't talk until you calm down.

-He's my son! I miss him.

What is it? What's happened?

Zainab?

Kamil's fine - it's you who's upsetting my wife.

Have you done this?

Of course not.

Bushra is a friend of mine, why are you making such a big deal of it?

-Just tell her I'm coming to get him.

-No.

-I'll go anyway!

-No. You can't.

-Why not?

Because...she has taken him on a day trip to see her cousin.

-Where?

-I came to find you when you were doing your postal rounds

but I know how busy you get this time of year. Why are you getting so upset?

You're taking my son halfway round the world

and you didn't think I'd get upset that you've denied me one of the few times

I get to spend with him?

How heartless can you be?

Please don't insult my wife.

I know what you are.

Just go, Masood.

You may have taken my wife, but you are not taking my son.

Do you understand? I will fight you every step of the way.

Every step.

I tried, I really tried my best!

That's right, K-A-M-I-L. Yeah. They will? You mean that?

OK, how long?

OK, OK, all right.

OK, thank you. Bye.

Who was that?

Where are the boys?

They're not coming.

MO HUMS "WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS"

Mo, what is this?

This, Alfie, my boy, is what's known in the trade as a gold mine.

-In't it lovely?

-What is it?

It's a grotto, of course.

I mean, it will be, once it's finished.

You are looking at Walford's very own Santa Claus.

-Come here, you.

-Ho ho ho...

Bit hypocritical, innit? You asking kids if they've been good or not

when you're defrauding the benefit office?

I've gotta find the cash somewhere to pay for this fine, ain't I?

Who needs Daddy when we've got Father Christmas? Yeah, look!

Oh, are you all right? You all right? Eh?

You'd better watch out.

What? Why?

It's just, that costume...

it's not good for your elf!

I'm trying to make this nice for George!

We've gotta spend Christmas on our own now.

I didn't mean anything by it, it was...just a joke.

Come and get your penguins, £10 each.

£10 and I'll throw the bag in for free.

Come on, £10, penguins, £10 each, have a look.

Come on, treat the family.

Waddle over, get a penguin. Here, mate, you want a penguin?

-How'd it go?

-All right, I think.

-What were they like?

Nice. Very nice. He did a lot of listening.

-Which means you did all the gassing.

-What about the dosh?

They said they'd let me know.

And you kept my name out of it?

-I think so.

-Yes or no, Jean?

You did brilliantly, Jean. I'm proud of you.

I hope so. I mean, I hope I didn't let you down.

Come on, let's get you a drink.

PHONE RINGS

I'll get it.

Hello, Queen Vic?

-You all right, Max?

-Yeah, not bad. Is everything all right with Jean?

Yeah, why?

She just seems a bit on edge, that's all.

-We all are, thanks to Nan.

-You sure that's all it is?

What d'you mean?

I just saw her and she didn't have a jacket on.

So?

It's a sign, innit? You know, not feeling the cold an' all that.

A sign?

You know, same thing happened to Stacey, didn't it?

I think I'd know, Max, seeing as I live under the same roof as her.

I'm just saying, it might not be a bad idea just to keep an eye on her.

When I want advice on how to deal with stuff that's happening with my family, I'll ask for it. Clear?

-Yeah.

-Right, what you drinking?

-I'm all right.

Merry Christmas, Mum!

Well, thank you, but aren't you a few days too early?

Yeah, we thought you'd be here. We're off to Paris for a few days.

-Paris?

-Yeah. I'm sorry it's short notice, but he wanted you to have something to open on Christmas Day.

But you'll miss the talent show!

That's a blessing.

Mickey Mouse is way better than a violin.

We're off to Disneyland.

Well, lucky you. Have you got time for a cuppa?

Cab's waiting.

Right, so... So, this is it!

Well, I tell you what, I'll save your present for when you get back.

-You have the best Christmas ever, won't you, little man?

-I will.

Right, mate, come on, then. Thanks.

As I said, Mr Ahmed's alerted us to his absence and we need to look into it.

-I'm sure you understand.

-And, as

-I

-said, my son is with a very good friend of mine.

I needed a break. Why is this turning into such an issue?

The officer's only trying to do her job.

If we can have the address and a recent photograph?

My son's childcare is my own business.

It's OK.

-Let me write it down for you.

-Thank you.

Why don't you get the photo, my love?

Yes.

Hey!

MANDY LAUGHS

-All right?

-All right?

-Just wanted to say, congratulations,

you know, for the wedding or whatever it is.

Thanks.

And, have a great time in Paris.

How'd you know about that?

What?

Ian's only just booked it, so how do you know?

You convinced him to take me, didn't you? Get me out the way?

No.

Yeah. I saw you sweating it earlier when I was talking to little Liam.

Do you honestly think I would go blabbing to a little kid?

Thanks a lot, Ricky.

Ready, hun? We got a train to catch.

-Yeah, Paris, here we come!

-Yes, baby! See ya later.

-BELL RINGS

-Hear ye, hear ye!

It gives me great pleasure to declare Mo's Grotto -

in association with Moon Productions - officially open!

CHEERING

-Here, don't forget to get the money off 'em.

-I won't.

One of these, yeah?

I'm sorry about before.

Don't worry. I know I look stupid.

Not to the kids

and not to me.

Heather, I was wondering...

is there any chance you, erm...

might want to spend Christmas with me?

Oh, no, I've upset you again. I'm sorry.

Does that stuff work on elves?

CHILDREN: Whoooo!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, is that it?

What d'you mean, is that it?

-You gave us penguins, we made penguin lemonade!

-Sold the lot, mate.

Oh, tell me you're winding me up.

Look, have you not worked it out?

The penguins, all right, got cameras in the eye,

this plugs into the monitor.

-They're nanny-cams!

-Whatty-cams?

For spying on your grandma! You pair of idiots!

-Kamil's safe?

-Absolutely. He's there with his mother's permission.

As long as she's happy, it doesn't matter what the child's father thinks!

-Masood, be reasonable.

-Where's reasonable got me so far?

They took my son without a word to me and put him with somebody he hardly knows

-and the law stands by and does nothing!

-We can't get involved in a domestic dispute, Mr Ahmed.

Well, where are my rights? My rights as a father? Answer me that.

He's just a bit upset. Thanks.

You agree with them, do you? What they've done?

Of course I don't! I'm on your side, you know that. But that's why you have to follow the rules.

Like you did with Bobby? Where did that leave you? Christmas Day without him, that's where.

Oh, Jane, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry,

I didn't mean that. I didn't. It's just... I'm just...

I'm angry and I'm really scared... I just want my son!

I let Bobby go because if I'd made a scene it would've ruined Christmas for him,

-but your situation's different.

-Let's just not talk about it!

It's my problem, you won't have to deal with it, all right?

-Listen...

-I think I should go.

Jane, you're annoyed with me.

No, I'm not annoyed with you, I just...

I just think this isn't the best time for us.

-You're ending it?

-No, of course I'm not, I'd never do that,

you make me feel like a lovesick teenager,

but I just know more than anybody that you need some space

and I can wait.

Holding off for a few weeks,

it's not going to make any difference is it?

Hm?

Well...

-It wouldn't feel right!

-What, like I'm trying to entice you into my web or something?

-No, no, it's not that.

-I'm kidding. Look, you have to admit, it's the right image - solid, reliable...

You really think the investors are that traditional?

Trust me, I've done my research - they're as old school as they come.

I don't know, it feels a bit weird.

They think we're married already. It just stops any awkward questions.

OK, but as soon as the meeting's over...

The rings are off.

Hiya, it's only me.

I just wondered if you fancied keeping me company this Christmas.

-STEREO PLAYS:

-# Christmas Day is here

# The most wonderful day of the year... #

Liam.

PHONE RINGS

Hello?

Bianca?

What's wrong?

TRAIN RUMBLES IN THE DISTANCE

CAMERA BLEEPS

Thought you might like one of these.

Oh, aren't you lovely?

Thank you.

You're like an angel sent here to make everything better.

It will get better, won't it?

-Think about this.

-That's what I've been doing all day.

When Bushra gets back from her day trip, I'll be waiting.

-Do you really think that's a good idea?

-Why not? I'm doing exactly what your mother did to me.

Exactly! It's tit for tat. Imagine how Kamil feels being caught in the middle.

I'll protect him.

You know it'll just turn into war, OK? And Mum's not strong enough to cope with that at the moment.

D'you know, I just couldn't care less about that woman.

Oh!

You know what?

Dad, this time last year, you were married, you loved her.

Doesn't that mean anything?

Thank you.

Yusef, you were right, it's been good to reflect.

I'm very ashamed of how I have behaved...

..but haven't I proved to you today that I can be a good wife,

I can be a loyal wife?

You've done very well.

Then where is he, Yusef? Yusef, where is my son?

Please, Yusef, he'll be crying for me. He'll be crying for me,

please, I'm begging you! Is he OK? Is he OK?

Tell me something, tell me anything, please!

Please, Yusef, please!

Don't spoil it, Zainab.

This - this is perfect, isn't it?

Finally, just the two of us.

And think, soon we'll all be enjoying our new life in Karachi.

Yes.

There.

Beautiful.

Oh?!

That's the prison window and they're the bars on it.

It's very good. What's the dinosaur? Is that your mum?

No! That's a bird, flying away, like Mum's flying out of prison.

But I couldn't find a bird

so I had to use Morgan's pterodactyl.

He don't like dinosaurs no more.

No? Here, why don't you practise your song again?

Ready, steady, go!

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

# It's only just begu-u-u-n. #

I don't know, maybe it's the halo.

-You know what I think we need?

-A new costume?

No, Kat. Come on!

# Little donkey, little donkey

# On the dusty trail. #

-Angel Gabriel never went on a donkey.

-Course he didn't. I know.

-He? Angel Gabriel weren't a he!

-Yes, he was a he.

Why'd he wear a dress, then?

Well, maybe he was a little bit confused, all right?

Anyone seen me beard?

A bit like Mo?

Yes, exactly, a bit like Mo. Yes!

Tommy, who's that?

Mo. Mo, I've just remembered my dream.

I was standing by this lake. I don't know how I got there.

You never know how you get there, do you?

Just, bang, and you're there. Anyway, it was beautiful.

Completely frozen and all sparkling. And there she was - my Stacey.

And she said not to worry about the benefits fraud people.

That she was going to send me a sign

and that I would know exactly what to do.

And then I woke up. In't that funny?

Where's me chuffin' beard?

You shouldn't have to worry about the benefits people -

you shoulda lied to 'em properly.

-They've come for me.

-That's right, Jean, they've come to cart you off.

Please tell me that's your passport.

Masood's trying to stop us taking Kamil.

Doesn't give up, does he?

We'll be long gone before the courts can act on this.

DOOR SHUTS

-AFIA:

-Don't look so worried, it was the right thing to do.

TAMWAR: I know.

You told your dad to stay away from your mum, and he'll stay away.

DOOR SLAMS

Oi, leave that, come here.

What's she walking funny for?

'Tiff, you've got something stuck on the bottom.'

BOTH: Woah!

-That's better. Pack it in, you two.

-Stop laughing!

-Sorry, you do look really cute, babe.

-And towards me, again.

Why's she walking funny?

Because Nana Pat's made it too tight, hasn't she?

Oi, watch what you say - Nana Pat's still got scissors in her hand.

Listen, sit down. Your dad wants to tell you something.

You're going to Dubai again?

No, no.

Are we getting a new Wellard?

-Ah, you didn't drop the cake?!

-Just let him speak.

Look, your mum...

she really wanted to come home today, but there's been a bit of a hold-up.

Like a bank robbery?

No. She's had to stay in the nick a little bit longer just to...

Help deliver the Christmas cards.

-What about my show?

-I'm sorry, Tiff.

We'll all be there, won't we, Tiff?

# So here it is, Merry Christmas

# Everybody's having fun

# Look to the future now

-# It's only just begun. #

-It's her, isn't it? She's the one.

Oi, Santa. You're on my turf.

Move along!

Blimey, he's got a nice suit, in't he, eh, Mo?

I've got a nice suit, too.

-Merry Christmas!

-Yeah, Merry Christmas to you!

-Traitor!

-Yeah, you should try shaving.

Oi, get stuffed!

I've got to draw a line. A line in the sand.

Zainab and that husband of hers on one side...

..me and my sanity on the other.

Wow. That's very...Zen.

-Could you come here and give us a hand, please, with this lot? Please?

-Mmm.

I've got to give Zainab space. I've got to give me space.

-Get that from a self-help book, did ya?

-Oh, Tam, he's a wise boy.

Yeah, and then I was thinking of cooking Jane a making-up meal.

Steak and kidney pie, what d'you think?

Yes, cos...nothing says romance like kidneys(!) Here, look at this.

"Happy Christmas, 'Dense', from everyone at your local branch."

Everyone at my branch is a flaming imbecile.

What?

SHE HUMS

You got the loveliest hair.

Dark as a raven.

Stacey has lovely hair.

You're the sign, aren't you?

-What sign?

-She said I'd know what to do when I saw you,

but I don't know... I don't know what to do.

I don't like it when you talk funny.

Think, Jean, think, think. Stacey and the lake,

Stacey and the lake, Stacey and...

Stacey Slater, ice skater!

We're going ice skating!

What about my show?

Her mobile's dead.

She can't keep doing this -

pushing me away, and then asking me for help.

But why write a letter?

She's messing with me.

How often does Zainab ask for help? Come on, she's scared.

Well, she seemed all right when I last saw her.

Yeah, but who was she with? Yusef.

Ergh!

-All right, darling, cheers.

-Right, Kat, here y'are, what d'you reckon?

Bit small for you, innit?

-She upstairs?

-Who?

-Angel Gabriel.

-You took her with you.

-No, I said she was staying here with you, didn't I?

-Shenice?

-Shenice?

Please, Jean! I don't want to go ice skating any more.

-We should go home.

-We can't. She sent YOU!

-YOU'RE the sign!

-Jean, you should've got dressed. Come home!

She sent me an angel to show me the way out of the darkness

and into the light.

We've gotta go ice skating cos something really lovely's going to happen. Come on.

-No, we're going to be late!

-Come and catch me!

-Jean must've taken her out for a walk.

-Why didn't she tell ya?!

PHONE RINGS She didn't even bring her phone!

SMOKE ALARM BEEPS

-What's that?

-I don't know.

-Quick, what is it?

It's all right, it's all right, calm down, I don't know.

-What's that?

-I don't know, darling, I don't know.

This isn't Zainab. None of it makes sense.

Nothing's made sense since Zainab's been with him.

Well, exactly. When I was with Owen, I changed.

Everyone said, but no-one knew why. I was too proud to tell them.

But look, Zainab, she's trying to tell you.

No, no! Zainab's not...

Not...?

Not what?

Oh, weak? Not a pushover?

Well, neither am I, and look what happened to me.

You know what, I asked her.

I asked her on her wedding day if he was hurting her

and she made me feel like an idiot. Flat denied it.

Well, you would, wouldn't you? Because that is what you do.

Masood, she's scared.

And she's asking for your help.

CAR HORN BEEPS

Have you seen my angel?

CAR HORNS BEEP

Oh...

Excuse me, have you seen my angel?

Jean!

Wait! Wait!

Bet you're relieved you don't have to face Bianca yet.

But you're going to have to face her eventually, you know.

-And when I do what do I say?

-Nothing. You say absolutely nothing.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Go and talk to her.

Tiff?

Me and Shenice were going to have our hair in French plaits.

But only Mum can do French plaits.

I can do 'em. Is it when they go like that?

No.

Oh... How about me and you go and see Father Christmas, eh?

It's not the real Father Christmas -

it's just Mo with a beard.

How's your mum, babe?

Well, the treatment's finished so...

How's Bianca?

Don't ask.

What?

I don't know.

She's going to come out and find out all this stuff, ain't she?

What stuff?

Not a lot she could have done in there.

Look, she'll understand. She will.

Yeah. You seeing Caveman Moon tonight?

He's really not that bad!

THEY GIGGLE

'But seriously, who cares when he looks that good in the buff!'

-You hear that?

-Bet you feel really good about yourself, don't ya?

'If he looks that good in the buff who cares?

'He can't even string a sentence together!'

-'He's not stupid, Whitney.

-He's a Neanderthal though, in't he?

'I'm surprised he's not dragging you round by your hair.'

THEY LAUGH

I gotta get that penguin back.

So what can I get YOU for Christmas, little girl?

Nothing much, Mo.

Who's Mo? I'm Santa.

Didn't you want some of those wheelie shoes?

I don't want anything.

Just my mum to see me in my show.

OK, so I ain't the real deal,

but I got a mate who knows a mate who knows Santa.

I'll have a word.

-Tracey, hold the fort, darling.

-Kat! Alfie! Jean's not very well.

It's all right, it's OK, I got you, I got you, I got you.

-There she is. There's my angel!

-What's happened?

-No, no, no, don't take her away from me!

Stop, stop!

Zainab in? Zee!

Zee, darling, you couldn't do us a favour, could you?

Helen's supposed to be working today and the Minute Mart Christmas party

got messy and she ain't showed up.

-Zainab doesn't work for you any more.

-I'll pay you double.

-I'm sorry, I'm packing.

-Zee, come on, do us a favour.

I made a terrible mistake, help me.

-A mistake, what d'you mean?

-Well, getting someone in to cover.

You know what Helen's like, she always has just one too many.

I suppose I could. If you're desperate.

An hour won't hurt.

No. No, I s'pose not.

-You'll never guess who Helen copped off with.

-Who?

-Steve from Cost Mart.

Oh! The man with the boss eyes? Awful little man.

I don't know why you employ that woman. She's so obnoxious. And her clothes are always crumpled...

What's happening, Zee?

Just keep talking. He's watching. And I'm not doing any stock taking.

Who said anything about stock taking? I never did.

Well, regardless, I'm not doing it.

-I got your note.

-What's he done to you, Zee?

-He's taken Kamil.

-What?!

-To Bushra's?

-No.

-You said he was at Bushra's.

-You said he was fine!

-He just took Kamil?

-You let him take our son?!

-No!

-Did you try to stop him?

Of course, I tried, but I couldn't. I had no choice!

-Of course you had a choice! Where is he? Where's Kamil?!

-Masood...

-I don't know.

-She's lying. She knows where he is. Where is he?

SHE SCREAMS

Masood, please, Masood, no...

Oh, Zee.

ZAINAB CRIES

Where is she, then? Oh, there she is!

-Jean. Jean, come on, in the front room, darling.

-Why can't I see my... Hello, little angel!

Come on, good girl.

You all right, sweetheart? Just got some grown-up talk, I won't be long.

You can call a psych nurse, you can call a doctor,

you can call the flaming flying squad if you think they'll do any good,

-but she ain't staying here.

-I can cope. I've done this before.

-Like when she tried to drown herself in the bath?

-She ain't that bad, not this time.

Not yet, Kat.

I know you can cope all right, but what about the rest of us?

What about Shenice? Do you want her to go through what Stacey went through?

All I'm... Oh, here she is!

Hello, kitten! Look at that, eh? Show time.

-Are you still coming?

-< Can I see my angel?

-Sorry, darlin'.

-Don't worry, I'm going to film it. Kat can watch it later, can't you, darl'?

-Yeah, with popcorn.

I want to sleep in your bed tonight.

Listen, tell you what, kitten, we'll talk about it later, yeah?

Get your coat, it's bit chilly outside, all right.

-Good girl.

-< Can I see the angel?

It's Christmas. She needs to be with us.

-KNOCKING AT DOOR

-Can I see my little angel, please?

Has Yusef said ANYTHING? The name of a person, a town, a street?

-Anywhere Kamil could be?

-Nothing!

-You know what, ask to see him.

I have done. It doesn't do any good! I'm scared for Kamil.

-I'm so scared for him.

-We'll go to the police. Together this time.

-No!

-There's the court order, right?

-No, you don't understand, OK? Yusef is capable of anything.

He will hurt Kamil if I don't do exactly what he says.

I'm going to kill him.

-Masood!

-I'm going to kill that man! He's got my son!

No! No... Listen to me! If you go over there...

if he knows that we've been talking, Kamil's life is in danger.

-Sshh.

-Tamwar's life is in danger.

DOOR OPENS

OK, OK, just stay here.

-< Carol! You all right?

-Just getting some sweets for the kids.

Something to keep 'em quiet through Tiff's show.

What do we do, Masood?

He would've taken us to Pakistan by now

if I hadn't thrown my passport away.

And when the new passport arrives...

Oh, Masood, what do we do, what do we do?

Zainab...

you have to go back.

-No...!

-I know, I know, I know, but you have to go back, Zainab.

-I can't, Masood.

-You can, Zainab.

Think of what he'll do to Kamil, think of what he'll do to Tamwar.

No, you go back, you play along like nothing's wrong.

You're leaving with him, you're happy. Listen to me, Zainab.

Please listen to me! And then you tell Tamwar what's going on.

No. I can't tell him - he will tell Afia.

And she's close to her father...

OK. OK, then you use that. You use that. You use Afia...

You talk to her. Tell her you miss him, tell her you miss Kamil and you want to see him.

Get her to talk to Yusef. She's the only one that can persuade him.

But he can't know it's coming from you.

OK? Zainab? He can't know it's coming from you.

-I don't know if I can do that.

-Yes, you CAN do it, Zainab. Come on.

-And then you call me.

-He's taken my phone.

-Then you get another phone.

-< It's Yusef!

-Get Tam's phone.

-Where is she?

-Oh, she's inside.

-See ya!

-See you, Carol. Yusef, there was something I needed to ask you.

Don't make me go back to him. Please, Masood.

Masood, please don't make me go back to him. Please.

-I'm sorry.

-No, please...

-I'm so sorry. You have to.

I'm sorry.

What was it? Oh, wedding present. What can I get you?

A present for a wedding you tried to stop?

Well, this is about Zainab, innit?

Is it that time already? I'll get my coat.

OK.

-You get what you're looking for?

-Yes, thanks.

What you doing?

What's he doing?

-I'm not entirely sure, but it's nice to look at.

-I've come for the penguin.

-The penguin?

-Yep, the penguin.

What, the penguin you gave me out of the kindness of your heart?

Yep, that's the one. See ya.

Tyler, is everything all right?

-Yeah, fine. Why?

-You're just a bit rude, to be honest.

What do you expect from a Neanderthal?

Interesting fact -

Karachi is the economic AND cultural capital of Pakistan.

Define "interesting".

-Tea.

-Oh, thanks.

So strange, packing all my things.

We should've helped you more. Sorry.

No, no, I didn't mean it that way.

Tamwar's useless at packing anyway. I just meant, you know...

that all of us, we won't be here together, again.

I'm being sentimental, but...

..I've had some very good memories, you know, sitting round this table,

-eating together...

-We've had some good times here.

It's a shame we won't be able to do it again once more before I go.

We should do it - you and Dad, me and Tam, Kamil.

You're right, Kamil should be here.

Definitely. Let's ask Dad.

Afia? You know what your father's like if he thinks

he's being forced into something.

I'm a genius at making him think my ideas are his.

Years of practice. Trust me.

-Thank you.

-Ta.

-What have you said to him?

-To who?

-Tyler.

-What, in general, or...?

-He knows we've been talking. He knows I called him a Neanderthal.

-Maybe it was just a coincidence.

How many times does Neanderthal come up in a conversation, Lauren?

Well, if today's anything to go by, quite a lot!

No, listen, I'm serious. What we talk about in private is between us.

Oi, Whit. Do girls prefer blokes who look good in the buff, or, you know, someone who's kind and gentle...?

OK, how'd you know that?

-I haven't said anything, I swear.

-I trusted you, Lauren.

I don't understand. I haven't done anything!

-Kat Moon?

-Who's asking? James Bond?

-Got called from a works thing.

-Yeah? How about that, then?

My name's Paul, I'm a community nurse. Your husband called.

You're the most ladylike angel I've ever seen.

Is Jean going to be OK?

Yes, course she's going to be OK, darling.

The doctors'll take care of her, everything'll be lovely,

she'll be back and it'll be brilliant, all right?

You and Kat always say that. You put on big smiles

like Mrs Gallagher told us to do on stage.

And you always pretend like everything's fine.

-Do we?

-You do it all the time.

Your mum'll be back very soon, and when she is she'll be able to do your plaits every day,

with sparkly ribbons and clips and everything.

All right?

Break a leg, yeah?

Mo said she'd have a word with Santa, but Mum ain't coming home.

My mum ain't coming either. Or Kat.

But we'll still be brilliant.

Sorry I'm late.

-It's about to start, love, come on.

-When are they on?

After the tap-dancing shepherds, I think!

-I'm going to need a drink.

-Oh, I'm way ahead of you.

Ah!

Tyler, what are you doing?

-It was me.

-Huh?

Well, it was him. But then it was me. It's a camera.

You've been watching me?

No! Well, yeah, sometimes. But I couldn't help it.

You been spying on me? You're a creep. You're a pervy creep!

Hate me all you want, but don't hate Lauren. She hasn't got nothing to do with this.

Just get out, get out now.

Are you from the council?

Have you come to lock me up?

Jean, it's Paul. He's a nurse.

Oh. Aren't you well dressed! Isn't he well dressed?

-Jean, have you been taking your medication?

-Course she has.

Yeah. I've not even been hiding them under my tongue or nothing. Look.

She got in trouble with the council.

They accused her of something she didn't do.

-Anyone would be upset.

-How long have you been upset, Jean?

Upset's the wrong word.

She's fine. My husband, he just overreacts.

He said you've been talking about angels.

Yeah. They only come when I've been good.

She needs to be with me.

Jean...

-..do you want to stay here?

-Course she does.

Jean?

Make an appointment with your GP.

Look, if you're worried at all then call that number, OK?

Right.

-Bye, Jean.

-Bye.

-Paul, is that it?

-Hmm.

If you're sure you can cope?

Course I can, it's what I do.

-AFIA:

-We're not all going to be here together again in ages.

YUSEF: We've got enough to deal with.

-You're such a grump sometimes.

-I'm not a grump.

-You so are.

Look, it'll just be us four and Kamil having tea.

Please Dad, look, do it for me.

OK, if it'll stop you moaning.

And I'll even pick up Kamil from Bushra's.

No. No, I'll do that.

Thanks, Dad. Mum's going to be really pleased.

# Ding dong merrily on...

# Ding dong...

# Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream... #

Did you know that every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings?

Where is my angel?

APPLAUSE

ALL: Wahey!

# Are you hanging up the stocking on the wall?

# It's the time that every Santa has his ball... #

Come on, message, message, message...

PHONE BEEPS

-Well?