31/08/2012 EastEnders Omnibus

RADIO PLAYS

-28th of August tomorrow, baby.

-Our special day?

And what do we do for that special day - do you remember?

-We make a cake.

-SHARON CHUCKLES

Oh, Patrick, could we use the kitchen later, please?

Lola! Lola!

Wow!

Aw! Aw, she's beautiful!

Lexi. Her name's Lexi.

Lexi - that's lovely. So, how are you? How's everyone? How's Jay?

Well, how was Costa Rica?

Oh. Yeah, totally brilliant. Awesome.

So, Jay, he's OK? He's not still annoyed with me?

I've got to go. I've got to get to my parent and baby course.

Sorry, I'll get in trouble if I'm late.

Did Phil say something to you on Saturday?

He didn't even come.

Well, wasn't he supposed to take you to your dad's grave?

Hm, but he never showed up.

Don't care, does he?

TV: 'It's papier-mache.

-'It's rather a sweet little thing - do you like it?

-How much is it?

'It's marked at £32.

-'He'll come down on that a bit.

-I don't think that's very expensive.'

You don't have to visit somebody's grave to remember them, you know.

Why do you think I go and watch Dagenham & Redbridge play?

It's because my son, Paul - that was his team.

Yeah, you just have to try and remember a place

where you were both happy. Hmm?

Go and get some flowers.

You can choose a place where you want to put them.

-What if Andrew sees me?

-Ah, he's gone. Left last week.

You can do it, son.

Hello! Mum? Dad? Lauren?

Hello?

PHONE VIBRATES

Mum, I'm home. I got an earlier flight. I wanted to surprise you.

I hope you haven't left for the airport.

-86p.

-CHANGE RATTLES

-Seriously?

-MASOOD CLEARS HIS THROAT

Zainab.

Tamwar's taken Kamil to the zoo.

They're going to be out all afternoon.

I'll be back as soon as I can.

-Don't forget the chocolate!

-Masood, stop it!

-HE PURRS

-Ain't seen you smile all day.

-It's not illegal, is it(?)

-It should be.

All right, Alice, look at me.

Whatever you do, right now,

whatever you do, promise me you won't smile.

-Alice, what did I say, eh?

-I'm not five years old any more.

-OK, it still works, though, doesn't it?

-Two pence short.

Yeah. Um... Hang on. Lucky sock.

Hey-hey! Oh.

And I'll have a scratchcard as well, please.

-You're going to gamble away your last pound?

-Got to be in it to win it, haven't you?

Oh...

Why don't you just get that one? It's half the price.

-Which means it's rubbish.

-What, because it doesn't have a fancy logo

-and a massive marketing budget?

-Exactly.

I've won! I've actually won!

-£10?

-Yeah, I'll have another ten scratchcards, please.

-I am on a winning streak.

-SHE SIGHS

Nah, it's all too cheap. Come on, Al, let's go.

Thank you!

Nope... Nope.

Oh!

You'll get us a drink, won't you?

I think you've had enough, don't you?

SHE COUGHS

Shirley, come here. Come on, come with me.

SHIRLEY GROANS

See this? Hm? It's off! Cos if I keep it on, Mum will only call me

to say that she's missing that one crucial streamer for Abi.

She's doing my head in.

Well, it is a bank holiday. I deserve time off!

-She excited to see Abi?

-She's brickin' it a bit, but...

You should have some time off, you know, Al.

You work too hard. And they don't pay you enough,

which is why she's always got to buy the cheap stuff,

so do me a favour, Al. Take that. Take it.

-And go enjoy yourself, all right?

-What are you going to do?

I don't know. Girls, make sure she smiles, will you?

Yeah.

Aw, I would love a big brother like that. Wouldn't you?

Listen, Alice, I'm really sorry for telling Anthony that you like him.

It was really out of order.

You know, I don't think Anthony did try it on with Whitney.

Listen! You're too good for him. Take it from me - I know.

You can't help who you like, though. He still makes my tummy feel funny.

You sure it ain't a bug?

My Auntie Eileen married my Uncle John cos he made her tummy go funny.

Turns out she had gastroenteritis.

Er, Mr Mitchell!

Hello.

-Is Jay in? I've got him a present.

-Jay don't live here any more.

Oh. Where's he gone?

SHE SCOFFS

Did Daddy ever make cakes?

-SHARON CHUCKLES

-No, baby. Daddy never made cake.

-Bobby was really impressed.

-Yeah? When was that?

When I told him Daddy was a helicopter pilot.

And was Uncle Ian there when you told Bobby?

Uncle Ian didn't even know what had happened to him.

I said everybody knows.

Daddy died in a helicopter crash at sea. Rescuing people.

Can I show them his medal?

Sharon, I'm just here sorting out rooms. Are you staying?

-Yes.

-No!

I don't know yet.

-Nearly finished, Syed?

-Yeah, nearly.

-Good.

I let the stall go.

-But that's your future, Papoo.

-It's too small-time, it always was.

-What will you do?

-I've reinvested the profit into cleaning products.

-What?!

-What do people always need? A clean house. You taught me that.

-Er, are you nearly finished?

-Yeah, nearly!

-All right.

Right, I'm going to go and see some potential investors. They'll know a good deal when they see one.

A-ha. No more interruptions!

Absolutely not.

Just you, me, the chocolate...

-and Umrao Jaan.

-THEY LAUGH

-Did you get some kip?

-I need a drink.

You need a bath. I'll run you one.

I know how to run a bath - I'm not stupid.

I can do it.

Oh, sorry, darling.

Listen, I know what you're up to, Kat, OK?

With Shenice being away and you wanting to look after someone.

I don't like it when one of the kids ain't here. It don't feel right.

Darling, I know, but she's with her mum, OK?

You've got to let her be with her mum.

-Why don't we go out tonight?

-I promised Fats I'd go over some footy statistics with him. Oh!

-There you are, you beauty!

-You're like a big kid yourself.

-Yes, but you love it!

-I'm starting to feel surrounded by 'em!

ALFIE LAUGHS

-HE SIGHS

-I miss you, Dad.

-Excuse me, have you seen Jay?

-No.

Lola?

Lola! Lola!

-Ah.

-Where is he? Where's Jay?

-He...

-I know he's not at Phil's.

Lola, has something happened to him?

I gotta... I'm sorry. Sorry.

Come on, Michael, it's a great deal.

You've got a cleaning business, I've got product at half the price.

I've got people queuing to be involved.

You don't need me, then.

I'm doing you a favour. But if you're not interested, then...

Ah, reverse psychology. It's a bit transparent, isn't it, Syed?

-I'm supposed to be interested now, am I?

-No. I...

See you later.

-I can do this if you're busy.

-No, he's just chancing his arm.

-Thought you'd be on holiday with your boy.

-Thought you'd be with your girls.

-I'm busy.

-Yeah? Me too.

-You know, I used to own this place.

-Yeah?

-Mm.

It was Angie's Den. Named after Mum and Dad. Family business.

Yeah, that's right. You ran it with your geezer, didn't you? Dennis.

You've got it bad, don't you?

I'm going to talk to him.

-Tomorrow. I'm going to talk to him tomorrow.

-Right(!)

I don't know how he's got the bottle.

-Hey, it wasn't him that murdered Heather.

-Abs dodged a bullet there.

I tell you, he is not going anywhere near her ever again.

He wasn't the murderer, he was just covering for a friend/brother.

-Doesn't make it right.

-I ain't saying it makes it right.

I'm saying that it's Jay, innit?

I mean, what if he tried to tell someone? Huh?

-I mean, what if he was scared?

-He looks sad. Doesn't he look sad?

-I should invite him over.

-No way!

-All right, go on, then. But I ain't coming.

-No, we should invite him over.

-Whitney!

-Cast the first stone and all that.

Come on. Come on, girl.

Lauren!

Lauren!

Er, you all right, Jay?

Crab stick?

-I was looking for Uncle Jack.

-Well, he's not here.

-Do you know where he is?

-Well, your guess is as good as mine

because he didn't come home last night - again.

Only no-one's around and I think something's happened to Jay.

I don't know if he's got a new girlfriend or ill or missing, but no-one will say where he is.

Have you just got back?

Y-Yeah. I know everyone's angry with me because I left him,

but I really care about him.

And I haven't slept in two days because of travelling and...

OK, OK. It's OK.

Um, look, why don't you come in and you can tell Amy

-all about the tortoises, yeah?

-Turtles.

Yeah, turtles(!)

-So are you staying here?

-No. Yeah. No. Sort of.

So is Jay OK?

Yeah, he's fine. He's just had a little bust-up with Phil, that's all.

Is Ben still there?

Do you know what I think we should do?

I think you should phone your dad, yeah?

Oh, Dad, it's me. I'm home. Well, at Jack's with Roxy.

So I got an earlier flight.

He wants to talk to you.

Oh. He's probably got a surprise lined up or something, ain't you?

(Look, she keeps asking about Jay. Do I tell her? Where are you?)

All right, all right, you just hurry up and get back.

Um, you never said where Jay was.

Do you know, I've left something at the salon

and she's due a nap any minute. So why don't you go and look after her for me, yeah?

Roxy, I don't...

DOOR SLAMS

TV PLAYS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Oh, for goodness' sake!

What?!

Hey, Basanti!

Hey, Jai! You missed me?

-Yeah.

-Now, I took your advice.

I told Aliyah how I felt and we're getting a divorce.

That's awful.

-So, I left.

-You left?! What do you mean, you left?

If I'm getting a divorce, I ain't going to live with her, am I?

SHE SIGHS

It's OK. I feel liberated.

It's about time I had a bit of freedom.

-Ah...

-Oh.

May I?

Yeah.

Look at that. HE CHUCKLES

We're slightly more upmarket now, ain't we?

Good job you left.

Dennis got his pilot's licence.

More money in flying helicopters than running nightclubs.

More dangerous, too.

-Guess that's why they pay them more.

-So he...?

Mm.

Oh. That explains it.

I heard he got murdered outside the Vic.

I couldn't see why you would come back to that.

Why? Why did you come back?

I needed Phil.

Excuse me.

I can't just kick him out. You're the one who said he said he had to speak to Aliyah.

-All right, fine. But with a time limit.

-All right.

Umrao Jaan! You're watching Umrao Jaan. I love that film. I love it.

Mum and Dad, eh?

Hey, heads you get popcorn, tails I do.

-Yes!

-I get popcorn. (Popcorn!)

I need to see you. About Dennis.

Sharon, this...

Sharon, it's not a good time.

Phil?

TV PLAYS

DIAL TONE

-VOICEMAIL:

-'Y'all right? It's Jay. Leave a message. Cheers.'

SHE TUTS

Hold tight, man, hold tight. Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You've never been to Notting Hill Carnival?

That is it. You're coming with me, all right? Time to dirty wind and expand your cultural mind, yeah?

-Come on, man.

-GIRLS GIGGLE

-What do you think?

-I will if you will.

-Come on, then.

-Yeah! Good times.

-Liking that. Luce, what about you, babe?

-I can't, I'm baby-sitting Bobby.

-No? Guys?

-No.

-All right. Laters, lightweights.

-HE LAUGHS

-Come on then, girls.

-Should probably get off as well, really.

-No, stick around,

-enjoy being lazy!

-Yeah, it must've been hard, the past few months.

-Yeah. It's... It's like a nightmare that you never wake up from.

-Mm.

I couldn't believe it. I still can't.

Must be easier, though, knowing it's out, eh?

Yeah. Yeah, it is, yeah.

So is it true, then, that Ben hit her over the head with a hammer?

-Whit!

-What? Everyone's talking about it.

-Not me.

I don't want to talk about it and I don't want to think about it either.

I'm not judging you, Jay. I'm just asking -

-was it or wasn't it?

-Just leave him alone!

I ain't some sort of freak!

-I was only asking.

-Yeah, well, nice one(!)

-Whoa...

-Here's to Andrew! Another one that left me.

Oi, oi, you're not on your own, all right? You got me, Kat.

What you need to do, Shirl, is to keep busy. Why don't you come and work here for a bit, eh?

Shirley don't need a job, cos Phil's loaded.

He owes you something, doesn't he?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right, he does.

You've always got to go a bit too far, ain't you?

HE SIGHS

Ben, he...

He's pleading guilty.

-He wants to do it on his own.

-Brave boy.

Well, he's lucky he don't have to come back here.

This place, it's...

It's not good for people.

There's always something, you know, something to remind you that...

you did something wrong. A bad thing.

I don't know if I want to be here any more.

Why would you come here, Sharon? Why would you come back here?

-Walford's home.

-HE SCOFFS

Well, it ain't the Walford you knew.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

This is cosy.

The door was open.

Sharon, just go. Just go.

-Shirl...

-I haven't come for a chat.

I've come for money.

Where shall we start? Shall we say...

200 quid?

I know you got it, Phil.

You owe me.

You don't want me to let out your dirty little secret, do you?

Ben's...

Ben's pleading guilty to murder.

Shirl, I...

I need you.

I need you.

Shirley!

DOOR OPENS

DOOR SLAMS

HE SIGHS

Hey-hey. You all right there, princess?

All right, darling? You want a hand?

-I've got it. Cheers.

-Here you go.

-Thanks.

-See you later.

-Yeah.

Alfie? Alfie.

Is that job still going?

Yeah, yeah, course it is, darling, yeah.

-Great, I'll see you tomorrow.

-All right, darling.

Fat Boy, Shirley. How many other strays you going to give jobs to?

Kat, come on, sweetheart. She needs the money, doesn't she, eh?

Why are you always so lovely?

How'd it go with Abi?

-Abi?

-Yeah, she's back. She got back a couple of hours ago.

Abi's back?

Yeah, she don't know nothing - her mum and dad ain't around

and I didn't say anything.

Hey!

I thought you might be hungry.

-Another time, yeah?

-No, no, no, Abi! Abi, wait! Abi!

CAR HORN TOOTS

Abi! Oh, darling.

Come here. Oh, I've missed you. Come here, darling.

You all right, Abs? Where'd you get to, babe?

Where's Jay?

# There's a spark in you You just gotta ignite the light... #

-What's happened? He's dead. He's dead, isn't he?

-Of course he ain't dead.

What? Of course not. No.

Will someone speak to me?!

# Cos, baby, you're a firework... #

No!

# Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh"

# As you shoot across the sky

# Baby, you're a firework... #

Come on, let's go inside.

But I like it here. I like Uncle Ian, I like Bobby.

-You'll make new friends.

-Why can't I keep my old ones?

Why are we always leaving everywhere?

Denny, we can't stay here. OK?

There's too many memories, too many sad memories.

-But I like it! It's not fair!

-We're going tomorrow and that's that!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, darling.

We'll find somewhere new and we'll stay, I promise.

No more moving around. Promise.

I don't want you to be sad.

Is it true?

Abi, please don't be like that.

Abi, I love you, all right?

Abi, I'm sorry.

Come here.

SHE SOBS

TOGETHER: # Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday dear Daddy

# Happy birthday to you... #

Make a wish. Hooray!

Tell me about him again.

Well, your daddy was....

the sweetest, handsomest man I ever met.

Don't forget his smile...

Oh, he had such a lovely smile.

Could light up a room. Make you want to smile too...

What else?

So much he used to do for me.

Used to get me flowers, and buy me lots of lovely little presents...

'Not for any reason, just cos he loved me.

What's the matter? I thought you were left-footed!

'And he used to shower me in kisses.'

'Used to make me feel like the most important person in the world.'

'Through thick and thin we loved each other...'

'Oh Denny, we loved each other so much.'

And when he found out about me? He was excited...

He said he'd love me to space and back.

-He was really excited.

-And then he went to the war to be a hero.

Go brush your teeth. Go on.

-You want to tell me what that's all about...?

-Not really.

-Good.

Cos I don't have time for it.

SHE SIGHS

-Hey.

-How are you?

-I'm good. Good. How are you?

-Yeah, I'm good.

Oh my gosh! I used to love this.

It's about two princesses

called Snow White and Rose Red. I always wanted to be Rose Red

cos she had the dark hair. There's this bear that's a cursed prince,

and an evil dwarf...

-It was my favourite...

-Then have it!

-No...

-No, no come on, I'm serious. If you love it that much then,

-it's all yours...

-It's silly!

No, come on. Evil dwarfs and stuff.

Take it, go on, it's yours. All right?

-He bothering you, Al?

-No.

-Thanks anyway.

-It's all right.

I can see what you're doing, you know.

Being nice to her so she'll let you get your end away eventually, eh?

She ain't that kind of girl, Anthony. All right?

Shame. Was just getting to know you.

Plenty of dolly birds. You'll forget me soon enough.

-Don't you owe me something?

-Do I?

-Yeah, You promised me a kiss if you stayed.

-Well, I'm not staying.

-Nah, you're going so you win.

-It was a one-way bet.

Worth a try though, wasn't it? You take care of yourself, yeah?

-You too.

-It's a real shame.

-Hello, Jack.

-Ladies...

Abi was crying in the night. I could hear her.

I hate seeing her like this, Mum.

She's moping. She's a teenager.

-That's what they do, mope.

-She's not moping, Mum, she's traumatised!

I knew that Jay wasn't good enough for her.

You tell her that, and she's going to run

straight back into his arms. Exactly what happened with you and Max...

It's nothing like me and Max! Oh, Janine, let's have a look!

-Let's have a look at her.

-Excuse me, d'you mind?

In my day, nobody batted an eyelid. She's tiny!

Isn't she tiny?...

-Oh, you been through the wars, ain't you, darlin'?

-She's beautiful.

She's beautiful.

Poor little mite.

Yeah. I'll be with you in ten, all right?

-Oh, sweetheart, you going out?

-I was thinking about it.

Listen. Please, I need you to stay.

Why? So I can babysit Shirley?

-No, no, it's not like that exactly.

-Alfie!

-We've run out of cheese and onion.

-Actually, it is like that...

-Kat, you brought her here, darling.

-You gave her a job!

-Yeah,

cos she's in a bad way and she needs help! I need ya,

please, darling. Please, darling. Yes, yes, yes? You got a big heart!

How about a bit later, in them ridiculously high shoes,

we go on a date? You know, a bit of nosebag, maybe a cocktail...

-All right. Me and my high heels like the sound of that.

-Good girl. Lovely.

I'm just gonna lay it out on the table, all right?

Umm. She's a lovely girl and I love spending time with her.

I love the way she gets excited about this book

and about a prince and a bear and a scary dwarf...

Sorry mate. You've lost me. What?

-He likes your sister.

-No, Alfie.

-It's more than that.

-Yeah. Yeah.

He LIKES your sister...

I really like her.

Right. Well, this is all fascinating, Anthony,

-but my drink's getting warm.

-I know you're looking out for her but

-she's a grown up. She can make her own decisions.

-Yeah. Course she can.

So, you'll back off?

Already have, mate.

Listen, Anthony, I'm not being funny here

but have you ever thought she might just not like you?

I mean, this... this is a kid's book. You do know that, don't ya?

Yeah, yeah...

You're not very good at all this, are you?

You had me at scary dwarf. Beautiful.

You won't be back, will you?

Gotta keep going, haven't you? Keep moving forward.

Or what?

Keep in touch, yeah?

And if things get bad again, Ian, please go and see a doctor.

There's no shame in asking for help, y'know.

Come here, come here.

Going to ruin me make up!

Don't go.

Don't leave me, Sharon.

Please don't leave me.

Listen carefully, OK? This is you. And this is Alice.

So who's that?

That's the vinegar!

Right. So this is what you got to do, you have to woo her. You see?

-Woo her?

-Yes.

Woo her. Girls don't want it straightforward.

Take it from a man who knows. OK?

-They want flattery, romance, ain't that right, love of my life?

-Yeah.

Hoping to get some for myself later...

-See? Few fancy words, flowers, bit of schmoozing...

-Showmanship.

-There you go.

-This is all good, boys,

but it don't matter if she's not into me.

She is into you, mate!

Seriously, if I was a girl, I'd be into you.

Yeah, deffo, man. You are pengalicious, bruv.

Really?

-Showmanship. I can do showmanship.

-There you go, there you go.

-Go do it!

-Go on, bruv! Eye of the tiger!

Good boy! Woo! Let's have it. Yeah.

-Just for the record, he's out of your league.

-Likewise. All right?

You're the only one I can talk to.

The cab's waiting.

I have to do this, Ian.

Sharon... this is your home.

Not any more.

All right. Not since Dennis...

I know you tell Denny stories - about him being a hero.

Running away won't change anything. OK?

Running away doesn't solve anything. I know. I tried.

I'm not you, Ian. I'm not a coward.

BABY CRIES

Till we had Yasmin, I never understood how one baby could need so much stuff.

-Can I join you?

-Oh, please.

-Sorry.

-Sorry.

-How is he?

-He's doing good, actually.

He's over Jordan. He's got a new girlfriend...

You know who I mean.

I keep having nightmares.

About Heather. And Jay...

Oh. Right.

I saw him at the park.

He was just sitting there. And he looked... sad.

-Has he said anything?

-We're not really talking.

No one's talking to him really.

He's at the B&B in case you were wondering...

Working on the stall's not enough for me. I got bigger plans.

Investment's where it's at. You know,

playing the markets... What?

It's just the first grown-up conversation I've had in SO long.

You know... Oh, forget it.

-No, go on?

-You're probably not dealing with the business side of things.

I am.

It's just...

I got a load of cleaning stock I need to sell off.

13k the lot.

Would sell for double but Michael wasn't that interested...

-I'll take it.

-Don't you want to check with him first?

Why would I need to do that? No, it's a deal.

-OK. I'll leave you to it...

-Thanks.

BABY CRIES

Sorry about the wait.

There's Uncle Ian!

Abi?

Why, Jay? I need to know why.

Got something for you. What d'you think? Eh?

It's the one I used to read you when Mum was at work,

-else you wouldn't sleep.

-You got this off Anthony...

He was just gonna throw it away otherwise, weren't he?

I'm not a kid any more.

-I know.

-Really? Cos sometimes I wonder.

Look, Alice, right. There are some bad blokes out there.

And there are some good ones too. Some really good ones.

Who are nice to talk to and make me feel pretty... What?

Life, Alice - it ain't a fairy tale. All right?

Anthony ain't gonna be your Prince Charming. He'll sleep with you,

then ditch you for someone else. It's the way it works.

I'm trying to tell you how it is. You'll have to toughen up.

How, when you won't let me?

BABY CRIES

KNOCK ON DOOR

Please, please, please, just give Mummy one little minute. OK?

Is this a bad time?

Why would it be?

I just...

I just wanted to apologise, you know, for me mum.

She's not the most tactful.

Well, really... I know how it is

having a new baby, and...

SHE SCREAMS

-It's all right. Sit down.

-No. I've got it.

-Just sit down for five minutes!

-I can't. I can't, can I?

Cos while Michael is comfortably at his desk at work,

I've got to feed her, then she'll just throw it all back up.

The place is a mess, I haven't had lunch,

or a shower because I can't leave her alone long enough to do it!

When do I ever get to, you know, sit down or...

or sleep?

Oh, darlin'.

I tried to put it away.

Forget about it...

but I keep seeing it. Over and over again.

Sometimes I do...

forget about it.

But it's worse, forgetting. Cos I always remember again.

I try... Oh, I dunno.

I don't know.

Did you see Ben...?

Did you see him kill her?

-Why didn't you stop him?

-I couldn't!

Why didn't you see if she was breathing or call an ambulance?

She was dead, Abi!

With George there...

D'you think he'll ever forgive us?

Will you ever forgive me?

SHE SIGHS

-So do you want to play the game?

-No.

Suit yourself. OK. We are going to...

..the city of Tickle!

Where we really going?

We're going to go to York. It's got a castle.

And a park and lots of fun things to do. You're going to love it.

Of all the places we've been, Walford was my favourite.

What's going on, Mr Lover Lover?

Check you and your garbs, bro, looking good.

But what is this dirt, man?

Oh, no, no, it's all part of the wooing.

All right.

I think can do this, Fats.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-I can do this.

'Course you can, brother. 'Course you can.

But what if I can't do this?

Bit late for that now, bruv.

-Whoa.

-Hi.

-Hi. You all right?

-How are you?

-Yeah.

-BOTH:

-Good.

OK, I'm going to...

I'm just going to be honest with you.

I like you. And I think you like me too. A bit. So...

No!

All right then. It's, er...

Oh, no! No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that.

Just this wasn't supposed to happen like this.

I've got everything planned out and I was going to...

He was going to woo ya.

-Ooh!

-Are you guys making fun of me?

Alice, no!

No. I I-I wouldn't do that to you. All right? I promise.

Come on.

Lauren used to just cry and cry and cry.

Only way I could get her to sleep was to walk her in her pram.

I mean, I used to walk for miles. Miles and miles.

Then Max used to come home from work

and she'd be there all sort of cuddly and tired in her babygro.

Yeah. Piece of cake for him.

Michael is quite good with her.

Yeah, I'm sure he is.

Worst bit for me - not being able to work.

I did a deal earlier and I felt like me again.

Yeah. Well, I mean, if you want to go back, you do that.

I mean, don't beat yourself up about it.

I tried. I just... I felt like I didn't belong there. I don't know.

Michael is good with her but he's just hardly ever here.

Yeah. Max was the same.

I think they're scared

cos it takes a while, doesn't it, to get your head round

having this new little screaming thing in the house.

When I had Abi, Max wasn't around at all.

I was convinced he was having an affair.

What am I saying? He probably was.

Oh, no, I've worried you now. No, ignore me.

Look, Michael is not like that. Believe me.

You have got nothing to worry about with that one.

I-I-I didn't know what to get you

so I-I just kinda got everything really.

There's sandwiches and crisps and strawberries.

But if you don't like strawberries I've got some cherries.

And also - this is Snow White and Rose Red.

Well, I think they're roses anyway but one's white and one's red.

That's what the guy said in the store.

I thought we could plant 'em.

Y'know, as a memento between me and you.

No, no. I'm sorry, was it stupid?

I'm so sorry. Please don't cry. I'm sorry.

This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

You're so beautiful, Alice.

-I'm not.

-No. You are.

If you're not finishing your drink, bring it with you.

Come on, we haven't got time for this.

Why can't we stay?

You can sit by the window, OK?

-Do you want to know what my wish was?

-What wish, darlin'?

Daddy's birthday wish.

Come on, we're going to miss the bus.

That you wouldn't be sad any more.

Baby, I'm not sad.

You get sad, then we move house. But you're still sad.

SHE GROWLS

Poor Janine.

Poor Janine, my eye.

Got enough money to buy an army of nannies.

Yeah, but you remember what it was like. Having your first baby.

Barely.

Sorry, Mum.

Too much angst nowadays. Get on with it.

That's what we used to have to do.

-Abi?

-She's not there. She's over at the B&B.

What?! And you knew? Mum!

Let her make her own mistakes.

I'd give my own life, you know.

I would give my own life to change what happened.

But I can't, can I?

You're going to go off and you're going to be happy

and you're going to be normal.

And I'm always going to remember.

I just want to make it stop.

Abi, how do I make it stop?

Abi?

Mum.

-Get out.

-It's all right, I was going.

-And, you, you just stay away. Out.

-Abi.

It wasn't me, all right? I was just there.

Stop it.

I wouldn't touch her, Abi. I'd never hurt her, Abi.

Stay away from my daughter!

Abi?

You SHOULD have done something. You should've stopped him.

Jay? Jay.

I've lost her for good now, ain't I?

Don't matter. You've got me. I ain't going anywhere.

-THEY SING:

-# Trailer for sale or rent

# Rooms to let, 50 cents

-# No phone, no pool, no pets... #

-My shoes want to know what's happened to dinner and cocktails?

-Give us a sec, darlin'.

-She's wasted.

Sweetheart, I'll be a second, all right? We've got the roast...

THEY CONTINUE TO SING

Shirley. Come on. Come and sleep it off.

-I'm singing.

-Now. Come on.

-Hang on a minute.

-What?

It's been one of them days.

-You should probably know that I'm... I'm still a...

-What?

-I still haven't actually, you know...

-I know. I know.

-And that doesn't bother you?

-Why would it?

That's not to say that I don't want to, you know...

Look, there's no rush. All right?

No rush? I've been waiting for this for years.

Come on.

THEY GIGGLE

Bit naughty, isn't it?

-Isn't it just?

-Hello!

Oi! Go somewhere else and be happy.

I thought I hid it so well.

Kids are clever like that. They know more than we give them credit for.

Annoying little blighters.

I dunno.

I thought if we kept moving, it wouldn't catch up with us.

Always does.

I didn't mean it, Ian. You're not a coward.

I love you to bits.

Come here, you big old softie.

Who'd have thought it? After all these years.

Sharon Watts with her dodgy perm and scrawny Ian Beale. Still friends.

-Dodgy perm?

-Yeah.

-You looked in a mirror recently, Worzel?

-Worzel?!

See you later.

Don't "darlin" me. These cost a fortune.

-I know, I bought 'em.

-You're not taking me out, are you?

Listen, what I was going to do... Kat, ow! What you doing?!

On the inside, just like Gareth Bale. He's got the moves but can he score goal? What a save!

-Denny!

-Five more minutes.

-Five minutes.

All right, he shoots, he scores! What a goal!

We did it!

Yes, we did do it, little man!

Happy birthday, baby.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

-SHE CLEARS THROAT

-Who is she?

-What?

-Well, there is someone, isn't there?

Oh, I'm tired, Janine. I'm really tired.

-Well, so am I.

-Yeah? Have you bathed Scarlett?

Is she pretty?

Fine. I'll do it.

Hmm? Is she prettier than me?

Is it Sharon?

Sharon?

Oh yeah, that. Turn it over.

Turn the locket over.

Yeah. That's an investment. For her future.

What's happening to you?

-HE LAUGHS:

-Yeah!

-Hello, Jack.

-Hello.

See you in a bit, yeah?

Thought I'd let you know there's a change of plan.

Yeah, I can see that.

I think you owe me something, don't you?

-Do I?

-Yeah. I bet you a kiss if you stayed.

-I left.

Didn't get very far, did ya?

Packed bags, taxi. I definitely left.

So no kiss then?

No. No kiss.

Don't play very fair, do ya?

'Course not. I'm a woman.

It's good to have you back.

Yeah?

It's good to be back.

THE MEN WHOOP

He's acting like everything's normal.

Mmm. Which do you think? Red or brown?

You know, you can't sweep 22 years of marriage

under the carpet.

-I think I like the red one.

-Are you listening to anything I'm saying?

You need to speak to that brother of yours.

We need to know what the truth is.

I can feel my ears burning.

I got this shirt for my first day at school on Monday.

Which do you think, red or brown?

I don't like either.

May as well just go choke myself on these, then.

Not until you've done what I've asked first.

You're all sweaty.

I know, Luce, but I could really do with a back rub.

Like I've got the time. I've got work.

It's all you ever think about these days, Luce.

You know what, yeah? Your dad is actually here now, so maybe...

Maybe it's time you started thinking about getting your life back, eh?

Yeah, I can hold on to it. Yeah, no worries.

I'll be there in a minute. All right, see you then, sir. Bye.

What have I told you? Not when I'm doing business.

So?

So, I just sold a necklace for £200.

Nice.

You must be my lucky little charm.

So, with that money, I fancy taking you up west tonight.

Bit of dinner, bit of grub, yeah.

Me and you get away from this...place.

You mean Joey?

Yeah, and your dad.

I kind of had something else in mind for tonight.

Oh. Oh...

Well, the thing is, Alice, I don't want to rush you.

I want to make sure that you're ready.

I'm ready.

I didn't order all these strawberries.

They were the last of the season. I got a good deal.

-What are you going to do, make jam?!

-No.

You ain't going to shift this.

No, I will. I will, Lucy, they'll sell.

Dad, I can't keep doing this.

Doing what?

-Baby sitting you. I'm letting the stall.

-What?

It'll be one less worry for me.

Oh, Derek. Got a minute, mate?

Yeah, what is it, Anthony?

It's about, um...

Hang on.

What do you think of these?

Well, they're not exactly my colour, mate.

They're not for you, are they? They're for...Alice.

What are they, 18 carat?

Well, no, not exactly, but it's the thought that counts, isn't it?

Is it?

You have got a lot to learn about women, young Anthony.

Especially when you're punching above your weight.

I am going to make you look like a million dollars tonight, babe.

What's the big deal anyway?

Oi! She's been waiting 18 years for this moment.

Seriously, shush!

Years of anticipation for, what, two minutes of disappointment.

-OK, time to go now, Poppy. Bye.

-See ya.

Lucy. Please...

Darling, I'm begging you, OK? Please don't get rid of the stall.

It's been in our family since... since my grandad was a boy.

-Please?

-Yeah, it's for the best. My decision's made.

Oi.

What's all that about, eh?

Getting my life back.

No, not you. Alice. What were you just talking about?

Trust me, you don't want to know.

Trust me, Lucy, I do.

I'm relying on my star striker here to score a hat-trick.

-That's right.

-Remember, they got a couple of big lads at the back.

Ah, Fats, what we lack in height, mate, we make up in pace.

Who was the world's best football team? Apart from the Hammers.

-Tottenham.

-Spurs.

-Barcelona.

Thank you. Barcelona, OK. Now, their average height is what? 5'10.

Yeah, but they're good and you ain't no Alf Ramsey.

She's just upset cos Shirley puked on her new shoes.

THEY LAUGH

Fats, tell the boys, got a team meeting later.

No good though, gaffer. Jack's already said he can't make it.

Oh, don't tell me - he's on another date?

So, how's things over at Jack's? Oh, really?

-I thought...

-I've had breakfast with two different women this week.

I'm sick of it. I know I should be grateful, you know,

but I just want to be settled and comfortable.

For Amy's sake.

Think I preferred the Robinson Crusoe haircut,

hides your ugly mug.

You all right, Sharon?

Aren't you pleased to see me?

I woke up this morning feeling like a weight had been lifted.

No more running away.

Right, you going to tell me what's wrong?

It's Lucy.

-He's right-footed.

-Yeah, but he played... Fine.

We'll put him here, all right? Now you're going to play behind Ray.

-I can do that.

-Alfie, I'm going out for new shoes.

All right, sweetheart, go spoil yourself.

Don't worry, I will!

So what you going to do?

No, I'm going to be floating about. I'll be back with Jack.

-With Jack?

-Yeah.

-Fats.

-All right, one minute. What's going on, Mr Lover Lover?

Where is Alice?

Mate, I will do the washing up for a whole week, yeah,

if you make yourself scarce tonight. Cos she is coming round tonight.

Oh, my goodness, Mr Fast Mover. There ain't no dust on you, bruv.

You know, when you've got it, you've got it.

She's besotted with me, like putty in my hands...

JOEY CLEARS HIS THROAT

Um... You all right, Joey?

Do you want some nuts? Or a drink or something?

I'll have an orange juice please, mate.

So, putty in your hands, is she?

HE LAUGHS AWKWARDLY

Didn't mean it, did I? Just a bit of banter between me and Fats...

I tell you what, you're lucky I'm her brother.

-If that'd been Derek stood there...

-I know, I'd be dead.

-Exactly.

What you two need to do is find a way to get along.

What's with... What's with the all the advice?

Well, funnily enough, Anthony, I want Alice to be happy, so...

-So...?

-So show Derek that you ain't a pushover.

That's the only way he'll back off.

I kind of like my face the way it is.

Yeah, I ain't saying challenge him to a boxing match, am I?

What I'm saying is you need to find a common ground, that's all.

-No chance there then.

-Look, beat Derek at something he knows best.

That's the way to win his respect. Poker's his thing...

-Why don't you invite him to a game or something.

-Poker?

Needs more pickle.

So...

Talk!

No.

What?

HE CHUCKLES

You can't bribe me.

Let this be a reminder.

I don't think it's what Alice had in mind, you know,

gambling with her old man.

Listen, mate, I know my sister better than anyone, all right?

She'll be grateful you're making the effort more than anything else.

-All right, Derek?

-What have you got to lose, eh?

All right, Derek.

Anthony.

I was thinking, how about a game of poker sometime?

HE LAUGHS

What's so funny?

-I don't play for matchsticks, son.

-No, I've got money.

Oh. What did you do? Raid the penny jar?

No, I just thought it'd be nice, you know...

seeing as I'm seeing Alice now.

Get to know the family and stuff.

Let's get one thing straight, Anthony. You're not family.

And you never will be. Now jog on.

KNOCK ON DOOR

I have to get back to work.

I hear you're letting the stall. D'you think that's wise?

Considering your dad needs a reason to even get out of bed.

Please don't give me a hard time about this.

I'm trying to juggle three businesses, OK?

One of them has to go.

Well, why not the chippy?

I just need to do this my way.

You can't stay angry for ever.

Like you would understand.

I do understand, Lucy.

I know what it's like to think you've lost your dad.

And I wasted half my life being angry.

I'm not doing this out of spite, you know.

No?

You must be going soft in your old age.

Anthony. You could've made a few quid there.

I got better things to do with my time, Joey,

than play cards with a no-mark for shrapnel.

Yeah, he fancies himself as a bit of a player, though.

Wouldn't be smiling if you'd heard what he was saying about you.

So what did he have to say?

Well, nothing much, really, he just reckons he can beat you, that's all.

Take you to the cleaners. In fact, he's, um...

He's been bragging about it all day.

What's your game, Joey?

Nothing.

All right, Derek, look, all I'm saying is

maybe he needs taking down a peg or two.

For Alice's sake.

SONG: "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

KNOCK ON DOOR

Hello, mate.

All right, mate, it's on. 5 o'clock. Derek's.

I'm seeing Alice though, Joey.

Exactly. Win, win. Listen mate, I just spent the last 30 minutes

trying to convince Derek to give you a break.

Don't let me down now, all right?

Yeah. Yeah.

Lovely.

Right, what's next then? You having a Brazilian or a Hollywood?

I think I'll just stick to a manicure, pedicure.

Right, then.

I just really want tonight to be special.

Trust me, right, he'll be blown away.

SHE GIGGLES

I hope so.

Kent garden strawberries, pound a punnet.

Yes, you, as well, sir, strawberries?

There you go, specially for you.

Look at those, they're absolutely gorgeous, they are. Sweet an' all.

Last of the Kent garden strawberries, pound a punnet. Yes?

Oh, brilliant.

You as well, sir, strawberries?

I'll do you a special deal, three for the price of two.

You just still want one? Oh, suit yourself, sir.

And you want strawberries, as well?

You know, an old poker buddy of mine used to say...

.."You play with the devil's fire, eventually you'll get burned".

You see, Anthony, gambling is an addiction.

It's not the kind of behaviour I want around my Alice.

So what are we playing for?

Actually, I can't stay that long.

But this was your idea.

Yeah, yeah, I know, but I've got to be somewhere.

Where?

Nowhere.

Good.

Right, so are we playing then, or what?

Woo-hoo, that looks like an expensive bag.

That's because there's an expensive pair of shoes inside.

Thankfully, Shirley's brassic or she'd be footing the bill.

Has anyone seen Shirley today?

She's probably lying in the gutter.

Maybe she could bunk up with you, Fats.

What? With me? Shirl? No, no, no...

Why not? You've got enough room now Tyler's living with Whitney.

Yeah, I'd like to help Shirley, but the thing is, right now...

But the thing is, you forgot, what's the matter with you?

-You've got Rox moving in with you.

-Yes, exactly... I'm sorry, Kat.

I can't keep up.

That girl's had more homes than the Littlest Hobo.

Why didn't I think of that before, about Roxy moving in with you?

Hell to the yeah, bruv, I could wake up to Foxy Roxy, what.

Oh, my goodness. She looks so hot in pink, you know.

Right, I'm out.

I'll raise you 50 quid.

Are you sure? That pile ain't getting any bigger.

Oi, play your own game, yeah?

Like I said, raise you 50.

Looks like we got ourselves a game.

Right, are you ready?

Ready as I'll ever be.

-Oh, Poppy...

-What?

I love it!

THEY LAUGH

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Is this what you call talking?

I've had it up to here!

Ahmed, Ahmed, there we go.

SHE SIGHS

Salam alaikum. Hello. Is that Aliyah?

Aliyah, this is Zainab.

Yes, that Zainab. Sorry? No.

Listen, Aliyah, Aliyah, Aliyah, please don't hang up, all right?

Unlucky, Anthony.

You know you actually showed a bit of mettle there, son.

It's not exactly going to bring my money back, is it?

That it's not. Well, all this winning's made me thirsty.

Why don't I go and get us a drink, eh?

Didn't take you too long to blow that £200, did it?

I've still got a bit left. TEXT ALERT

Don't you need it for tonight?

30 quid ain't going to get me very far, is it?

Plus, I just wanted to treat Alice to something special.

But won't you be late?

A few more minutes won't hurt.

This is all for Alice, yeah?

Yeah. Course.

So, we still playing?

Yeah.

One more game.

Good.

Tell you what, why don't we make this a bit more interesting, eh?

Oh, yeah?

Forget those cheap earrings.

Why don't I give you the chance to buy Alice a decent present?

I've got 30 quid.

Well, I'm sure we can come to some arrangement.

What type of arrangement?

Well, that depends what you got in your pockets, Anthony.

Nothing.

Well, well, well, now what do we have here?

Nah. No way.

All right, maybe we should call it a day now, eh?

What do you reckon, Anthony? Think you're man enough?

Nah. Not the Emporium. Ty would never forgive me.

But think what he'd say if you won.

All right, hang on a minute, Anthony.

Just think about what you're doing, yeah?

-If you lose this, you're...

-Hang on.

Who says I'm going to lose?

Tell you what.

Why don't we make it more simple?

Aces high.

Highest card wins.

You're on.

Woah! He doesn't want to talk about it, Zee. Tell her.

I just want some head space.

-Ah, head space?

-Yeah.

It won't fix your marriage. Which is why I called Aliyah.

-You did what?

-Yeah, she's coming over.

I told you my marriage is over.

If she's brave enough to come, the least that you can do is talk.

She's having an affair!!

Well...

..just ain't your lucky day, Romeo.

Is it?

No, no, please, you can't do this. This is my life you're messing with.

Tell it to someone who cares, eh?

Well, I can get you money. I can.

Yeah? How?

I dunno. I'll think of something.

Just please, please, please, I'm begging you, please.

Don't do this, please.

I tell you what I'll do, just to show you that I'm a decent man.

You take this and you buy yourself a one-way ticket

to wherever it is that you Moon boys go and hide.

And I'll think about what I'm going to do.

Derek... Derek, Derek, please!

I can't believe you just did that.

DOOR SLAMS SHUT

This is all your fault.

No, no, don't put this on me. No way.

-If you hadn't suggested playing.

-This was you, Anthony! All of it.

You could've said no.

You could've walked away anytime. I was trying to warn you.

But...you chose this, Anthony.

What am I going to tell Ty? I've just lost everything.

HE SOBS

Please talk to him. He'll listen to you.

Come on, Anthony,

you just wagered your whole business on the turn of a card.

You've blown it with Derek. He'll never let you forget this.

I need to see Alice.

Oh, yeah, and say what, eh?

Eh? "Sorry I'm late, but I just ruined my life.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah and your dad, he hates me even more now".

So what am I supposed to do?

Go home, Anthony.

Pack a bag...

..and get away from here.

What if I can't?

What if I can't sort it?

I'll talk to Alice. Make sure she understands.

Will you... Will you tell her I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I got you something.

I think we should hold on to the stall.

I won't let you down, Lucy,

honest.

You'd better not.

He's um...he's gone, Alice.

Gone? What do you mean, gone?

It's all Derek's fault.

Kat, grab them footie shirts -

we've got a match to get to, come on.

See you later, darling.

Ant, you numpty. When you get this, ring me straight back, will you?

Ronaldo, here he is, eh? What time do you call this?

Let's get on the bus, get this show on the road.

-Like the boots, Maxy.

-Yeah.

If you can't tackle your opposition you can always blind them(!)

-You wait, I'm going to score in these.

-Yeah, mate, you should be so lucky.

Is this really all the team I've got? Michael, you fancy a game?

No, I like watching, thanks.

Janine given you a day pass, has she?

We're not putting out a full team?

-This is a joke.

-Yeah, no. Shut up.

Derek, do us a favour, could you, mate?

Give your Alice a call, find out if she knows where Ant's at.

I watch you muppets play football to get away from family grief.

Hold on, you're coming? It's just the bus is a bit cramped, mate.

Shut up, you tart. You've only got half a team.

Woah, Kat darling, where you going?

I thought I'd come along and watch like last time, team mascot.

HORN BLARES

Listen, it's just Jean's with Tommy

and we can't leave Shirley on her own behind the bar, can we?

All right, fine. If you don't want me there...

Of course I want you there. It's just I need you to hold the fort, don't I?

Come on, one for luck, yeah?

Lovely. Fellas, come on, we're late. Let's go.

Come on, Mrs Moon. One for luck, like he said.

What is this? Snow White and the Seven Idiots?

It's lucky, innit?

Get on the bus!

All right, Grumpy.

"Grumpy"! Get on the bus. Here comes Dopey, by the way.

-Right, Fats, come on. Get a move on.

-Sorry I'm late.

See you later, sweetheart.

CHEERING

I thought you were going with them.

Spend the day with your man?

Kat, the cheerleader, gets her pompoms out for the lads.

SHE LAUGHS We've got punters waiting.

DOORBELL

AJ, let me explain. I thought it would be a good idea

if the two of you had a chance to talk and sort things out.

HE SIGHS

You had no right to interfere.

Don't worry, she's not interfering,

I needed to know where you were anyway,

so I could dump your stuff.

What?! I don't understand. AJ! AJ!

Let him go, it's what he does, runs away.

And before you start bad mouthing me again...

Listen, I was the one who called you to try and sort things out...

I have, and thanks to you, I've got twice as much wardrobe space.

What is wrong with you, huh? Why are you being like this?

Does your marriage mean nothing to you?

After all, you're the one that had the affair.

MUSIC: "When a Man Loves a Woman" by Percy Sledge

Don't get too excited.

If that's from Alfie, it probably cost a fiver

and stinks of old people.

-SHE LAUGHS

-Here.

Mm! It's not bad.

So what's he going to do next?

Sprinkle petals on the floor and light you a candle?

Do they really think we believe in all that pants?

Oh, blimey, you do, don't you

Aww, Alfie loves Kat, Kat loves Alfie.

Do I look like some dopey teenager?

I love you. It's just words.

Presents, just gestures. It don't mean nothing.

And if you believe in all that, then you deserve exactly what you get.

So if you're not too loved-up,

I need a hand in there.

Maybe I should give it a week. Look round the school when the kids go back.

-Check it out properly.

-Actually, there's somebody I want you to meet.

Her son's starting at school the same time.

-Really?

-Yeah.

He's a little younger than Dennis,

but he's a nice kid and she's not bad, too. She'll be all right.

Once you've spoken to her and everything.

Oh, come on, Sharon.

It'll be a mate for Dennis and it'll be a friend for you,

if you're going to be staying. Mums at the school gate, and all that.

I'm not sure, Ian.