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Thought we were going to talk?
You know I looked for him before.
-He didn't want to know.
-I know, but that was ages ago, wasn't it?
The thought of you meeting Mason behind my back... That animal...
after everything he did to me.
I know. And I'm sorry, all right.
I just wanted to find our son.
..we've got an address.
We don't have to waste another minute.
We can go and see him today.
I want to see who he looks like.
Whose eyes he's got and that.
If he takes after his mum he'll be a right heartbreaker, won't he?
-After work, yeah?
-I thought we sorted this. I was staying. Janine ain't.
Yeah, but that was before we found out she was stinkin' rich.
We're getting complaints. You need to turn it down.
-I ain't staying here if she is.
-All right, see you later.
MUSIC: "You Can Get It If You Really Want" by Jimmy Cliff
Oh, I love this one!
Tune! Turn it up, Janice!
Janine, before you do, there's the question of last night's tab.
-I thought it was all sorted.
-I can't help but feel this is God's way.
Ooh! How was the honeymoon?
Amazing, thanks. Cornwall's gorgeous.
We loved it. But...
back to earth with a bit of a bump now, because we're homeless.
You're the most attractive homeless bloke I've seen.
Whatever happens we're not staying at your mother's.
You know, I was thinkin', right, this country is wicked.
You had two coffees before we left this morning!
You know, those scales of justice, they're gold-plated.
And I never doubted them. You know what that means?
That means we can make plans now, Merce. Check this -
you take over the stall, OK? Keep it in the family, get me?
And then I can go out there and get a proper job.
-Then we might be able to move in together.
I am employable, right?
I'm employable, right? You know like, Fat Cat, City boy and that?
It's just your clothes,
your posture, the words that you use...
I mean, I wouldn't buy anything off someone wearing a sequinned hoodie, on principle.
End of the week?!
All right, well, I'll have to see what I can do.
All right, talk to you in a bit. Bye.
You ain't going to believe this.
My mum wants me to go up to the Cotswolds because my dad's having his bunions removed.
He works as a night porter in this hotel and if I don't step in, he's going to get the sack!
If you leave me on that car lot on my own, I'll sack you!
This is the first job my dad's ever got.
I don't care. You have to train someone up.
No cover. No Cotswolds. Capiche?
-Let's hope the social worker thinks so.
-'Christian, I need a hug.'
Ah, Mr Chubb?
Yo. What's up?
-Do you want to join the ranks of the employable, or not?
-Course I do.
I wouldn't be wearing this otherwise. I even took out my bling.
"Yo," and, "What's up?" is scarce an appropriate opening gambit.
They'll be scrutinising the ceiling instead of scrutinising you.
Try to use words that they will recognise like, "Hello," and, "How do you do?"
You do realise, don't you, that I have truncated my morning shift at the launderette for this?
At least you got into the room this time.
How do you do?
It says in this here book of Bradley's, "Don't slouch,
"ask insightful questions, smile and tilt your head to show interest."
This is ridiculous! That Dubai money is practically gone.
I'd cover all of these if I could. Look.
Don't worry, I'll sort this one out myself.
I told her she ain't welcome but she just pushed past me.
So, why don't you tell us, Janine,
did you force her to sign the will or did you forge it?
It's not how it seems, Pat.
I printed it off at school.
-And you let her?
-I asked her. It cheers me up.
So, why you here? Come to rub our noses in it?
I might not deserve the money...
Yeah, you don't.
-And some people might argue...
I'm rich. No-one can change that and that means what has happened in the past, is in the past.
I could even help you guys out.
Hang on, how long does it take for this money to come through?
You've come over here for a loan, ain't you?
Come on, it's not like I can't pay you back. Please?
-You evil little witch!
She's vulnerable. What do you want me do?
-Throw her out?
She's a liability, babbling on about her child-snatching sister.
That'll score us points for the adoption(!)
-What's that then?
-Just our action list.
You know, targets we've got meet.
Yeah. We've still got loads to do.
You know, bigger flat, getting family on-side.
Good luck with that.
I think those flowers are on their way out.
What you talking about? They're fresh as anything.
I'll get some more anyway.
Am I your best friend?
My sister is very possibly locked up with some psychotic murderer
and my ex-boyfriend helped put her there, OK?
I need big chats,
I need to slag people off and I need white wine, all right?
Come on, Phil, you must have a motor I can borrow.
-Someone get that, will you?
-Get the bus.
-I ain't getting the bus! What does that say about me, eh?
-Ain't my fault you're a loser, is it?
-Spit it out.
OK. I need a loan.
I will pay you double your highest rate of interest.
Yeah, well, I ain't interested.
I don't know if you know, but I've just inherited quite a lot of money.
Well, to me, Janine, you'll always be a tramp.
-I'll remember this.
-Yeah, go on. Sling your hook.
-Before I change my mind.
Anyway, I've discussed a few projects with her.
Yeah? You've got to hand it to the murdering witch, haven't you?
She makes her own luck, don't she?
Get 'em in, yeah?
Listen, Tanya didn't speak for everyone.
She's such a nosy old gold-digger.
She doesn't know she's wasting her time,
because until that money comes through I can't even buy a drink.
-Are you joking?
-You're an heiress!
Companies will be falling over themselves to lend to you.
I've got a mate who works in short-term loans.
Come on, I'll sort it out.
-Which one is it?
That one there.
-Shall we go?
-Yeah, in a minute.
TURNS ON RADIO
TURNS OFF RADIO
I reckon I'd get into this.
Right. Come on, let's have it.
I can't do this.
Look. Julie, I know it's scary.
-I'm nervous as well, you know.
-But you want to meet him.
For you, it's exciting.
For you, he could be anyone, but it's not like that for me.
He's not a blank.
In my head, I've already got a son.
Him in your head...
it's not your real son, is it?
Yeah, but it's in there!
And I'm sitting here feeling like a traitor.
You think I haven't imagined stuff?
Course I have.
-He might hate me, Billy.
We'll just go in there, all right?
Knock at the door, have a butcher's.
And no calling me Skidmark.
Hey, Julie, look!
Excuse me, mate. We're looking for a Dan Pearce?
Sorry, I didn't mean that.
-See, he don't know us, we're...
Yeah, I'm Dan.
-You better come in then, eh?
-Hands behind your back.
-Are you joking?!
Hands behind your back.
I'm really flexible, you know.
-Don't bend your knees.
Don't bend your knees!
Ha-ha! Knee on the floor!
Penalty! Penalty! Drink.
You have to drink now!
That's real Dad material that, Christian.
I'd better cancel the social worker.
Seems all right, don't he?
Family? Why didn't you say parents?
Why didn't you?
I don't think we're ready for this.
That was quick.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm really impatient.
I use two teabags in the cup.
I do that!
It's a nice place.
It's all right.
Bit skint at the moment, you know?
But like most people though, eh?
you said we was related somehow?
Yeah, very closely related.
Dan, there's no easy way of putting this, so I'm just going to say it, all right?
We're your parents.
Did they talk to you about us at the kids' home?
We just wanted to meet you.
I'm your mum.
There are castles in the Cotswolds, like fairytale ones. Be like a little holiday.
She definitely said both of us?
Yeah, course, it's a proper operation and I want you there.
-Looking fit today, girl.
Some blokes think all it takes is a bit of muscle.
If there's anything you want to ask us?
We were only kids ourselves really...
I held you for ages when you were born.
I know it's not much... it's nothing really.
This midwife said that being born was really stressful for babies...
so I just kept it peaceful.
I couldn't really do anything else...
so I just held you very, very still.
I'm sorry. I can't do this.
I know it must be a big shock.
We know you've got your own life now and everything...
I ain't your son.
I'm not Dan.
Dan used to live here but...
Well, he don't any more.
I just took on his name. To carry on the tenancy. I'll be honest,
when I saw the Jag I thought there might be a few quid in it for me...
but you seem like nice people...
So, where is he then?
Three months ago.
can I call you Phil?
What does your business mean to you?
Go away will you?
All right, cool.
Well, I'm here to learn and you're the main man, innit?
-Like the king of clubs and me...
..I'm just like an eight, not even that, like a five of diamonds really.
So I was thinking...
you know those guys on the door at R & R, I'm as big as them!
So can't you put in a word,
or a nod, or like a grunt or something?
I know you've got people, right?
Why would I do that, when I've just taken on Ryan?
It's great for business and I'm good with the ladies.
I've asked you nicely, all right?
There's nothing else! No-one else is taking on! No-one!
-What you doing?!
-You stupid idiot!
-There you are! I've been looking for you!
Sorry, Phil, excuse us.
So sorry about that.
Some bits and bobs.
Liver failure, you said, yeah?
Yeah, used to drink a lot of booze.
I think it all started when he was a kid in care, you know.
He went to a good home, didn't he, when he was adopted?
Well, that didn't really work out too well.
They said he went to a nice family.
They all said it was for the best!
What was he like?
Can you stop asking me questions, please?
Was he ever happy?
Or good at anything? He must have been good at something. He must have had some talents.
-What do you want me to say?
-I want you to tell me the truth!
-He was a thief, all right!
A total klepto.
Yeah? He couldn't help himself, he was chronic.
He cleaned me out twice.
He was one of those blokes who was always saying what he was going to be doing...
but it never seemed to work out.
Used to call him Flakey.
I think you better leave.
Sorry it weren't better news.
Just say, we all have different thresholds of feeling comfortable,
and I can't come to the Cotswolds with you, simply because...
Your dad pongs? I can't, Pops.
-You can't, can you?
-But he does stink though, don't he, Keith?
Right, she's had a manicure, pedicure, wax, facial...
that is 300 quid, hello!
This work, it just isn't good enough.
-No, it's bodged. I'll accept that as complimentary.
I'm just so stupid.
Why would I jeopardise something so important?
I know you really want this, don't you?
Yeah, I do.
Want another drink?
Go on then. Another orange juice for the road.
Hey! The social worker squeezed us in for Friday, had a cancellation.
Maybe I should change my priorities, you obviously have.
Two weeks at the most.
Just me...and my husband?
Oh, I see.
Course, yeah. I understand.
Don't feel bad.
Yeah, really soon. All right then.
OK. All right. Bye.
OK, let's go back to Mum's.
If you two still need somewhere to crash...I can offer a sofa.
-Give me that.
Just be casual at all times.
You got a smartphone? Use it.
You got a gold watch? Check the time.
-This is a lifestyle that you're selling not just a car.
-What's the matter with your neck?
-That's the best you could do?
-No. He's keen. He's keen.
So have you sold motors before?
No...but I'm a quick learner.
And I'm here to turn over your turnover, so...what you saying?
-You're a hard grafter, yeah?
-Yeah, yeah. You're going to love my work, Maxamillion.
I mean...Mr Branning.
Come on! Right, the things you say...
-I'm sort of in the middle of a master class here.
Darren, everyone has different thresholds...
Right. That's going to have to wait for now.
Not really. You know your dad...
Yeah, I spoke to my mum this morning...
and she ain't got room for the both of us.
So it's going to have to just be me.
I know you was looking forward to it, I'm sorry.
Right. The things you want to look out for in a customer.
-Things that'll get them enticed.
-Get 'em in.
-"This is a bargain."
-"You don't want to miss this."
-Don't miss this.
-"Chance of a lifetime."
-Chance of a lifetime.
-Can you see yourself without this?
-Can you see yourself without this?
500 - 298...
Dad. It's Aunty Janine.
-Can we open them? Can we open them?
-On one condition...
that Nana Pat says I can stay.
Only for half an hour, OK?
How'd it go?
C'mon, what was he like? Ain't Old Bill, is he?
He's dead, Phil!
Shirley will be back in a minute.
Cup of tea or something?
Please don't be nice, Phil.
Been a weird enough day as it is.
-Why can't anything ever be straight forward, eh?
PAT CLEARS THROAT Cap.
A laptop! Thanks!
What do you say?
Don't kick someone when they're down...
unless you're going to finish the job.
-Oi! What do you think you're doing?! Get out!
-She has got to learn!
Don't do things like that! She's only little!
-Thank you, Janine.
No problem. Come again soon. Bye.
I didn't want to go there today.
-No, we agreed...
-No, you practically dragged me.
If we'd have looked for him when I wanted to look for him...
-Say it, Billy!
If we'd have looked for him when I wanted to, he'd have still been alive!
We could have met him.
-I could have tried!
-We can't even fix ourselves, Billy!
-We should have been there!
-Don't you think I know that?
Don't you think I tell myself that every minute of my rotten life?!
From the minute that I wake up till I go to bed at night?
Do you think that I need reminding...
..how I gave him nothing. Nothing.
I've never been there for him.
You think I don't know this is all my fault?
-This is all my fault!
It's not. It's not.
Darren says selling is like wrestling a crocodile.
-You got to keep rolling them over.
-Like David Attenborough!
I know. D'you know, I really lucked out with that car lot job.
-Hey, baby girl!
-I better make meself scarce and leave Arthur to unburden hiself of his good tidings.
-All right, Mrs B.
Listen, you take care.
I got a job at the car lot, which means...we can put down some roots.
Now, look, check this out.
All these studio flats,
they are good to go and they're doing viewings at the weekend.
There's one that you are going to go nuts for.
You know, I think it's in the other room. Stay there.
Can you take my bags?
If the shoe was on the other foot...
I would congratulate you.
Well, you just must be an all-round bigger person than me, Janine.
See that taxi?
It's taking me to the poshest hotel room,
the biggest suite I could find.
Sweet. I'll have my room back then, won't I?
We used to fantasise about this sort of stuff.
I'd rather sleep rough.
-Another final demand.
Looks like Jamie.
This is from the social about his adoption.
-He knew our names.
And he chose not to find us.
..we've got a grand-daughter!
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