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Sorry, love, saving this for my friend.
MUSIC: "Hello" by Martin Solveig ft. Dragonette
Will you go away? There's no-one in.
-Go and see Lauren or something.
-Just let me in.
-Where is everyone?
-Gone to see Bianca.
-Why aren't you with them?
-Cos I'm on holiday. In Pat's house.
And whose fault's that?
Whit, come on. It's not like I sat down and planned this, is it?
-Great. But it don't change nothing does it, Ry?
-She's confused, OK?
-She needed someone. She needed help.
That's what you're calling it? "Help"?
Anyway, it's finished, OK?
I finished it, it's over.
If she needed help, Ryan, why didn't she come to me?
Because it's hard.
Hard to admit when you need help.
Whit, come on.
Look, it's not like I hurt you on purpose, is it?
You can't hate me forever!
Fine. Promise me it's over, then.
And I don't hate you.
how could anyone hate this?
Right, better get back to work. Pub later?
If you're paying.
Obviously. See you later.
# Always believe in your soul
# You got the power to know
# You're indestructible... #
Oh. Sorry. I didn't know you were coming back, Mrs Branning.
I'm sure you didn't. What's all this? Are you running for Mayor?
They're just preparations.
I'm so excited, every time I think about it, I swear a bit of pee comes out.
-How did you get on?
-Well, this chief, all right,
he slams her on the slab, zooms in on her, and then - boom! - that was it!
Thank you, Arthur. Heather, have you seen my hand bag?
Yeah, you left it here this morning. I put it in the office for you.
See? Told you. She'd have me drive back to the hospital for it.
Who's "she"? The cat's aunt?
What did they say?
Results out on Friday.
But she's proper trippin' about it.
She's going to be all right though, yeah?
I don't know. She's an old lady.
I don't even know what a CAT scan is. I mean, does it hurt?
A CAT scan is a Computerised Axial Tomography X-ray procedure.
And, please, don't whisper on my account.
But, you know, you're going to be fine, it's just a precaution...
A mayor and now a physician, Arthur.
Heather, your talents are wasted in here.
Arthur, would you do me a favour back at the house?
And, Heather, while I am still alive, this launderette is not an hovel for bric-a-brac.
Something fell out of Mrs Branning's bag earlier on.
-What is it?
-I don't think she should be left on her own.
Got a few things to sort out. You all right?
Oh. This is cosy, innit?
-Eh? Ain't you meant to be at work?
-She wanted to talk.
-You're going nowhere with her.
-What is your problem?
-Whitney, we're allowed to talk.
Listen to me, Lauren. You're meant to be my best mate.
-You want to talk so much, you come and you talk to me.
-What's the matter with you?
-What is the matter with you?
-You! You're a liar!
-I'm not lying!
-Ryan, tell her!
-Please shut up, darling, yeah? Whitney, OK, you need to calm down.
-Stop acting like a little girl and listen.
-A little girl? If I'm a little girl,
-you know who else is, don't you, Ry?
You're pathetic. Both of you.
I don't need you anyway.
Couldn't do these for me could you? Sheets.
Teenage sheets. Probably need a hot wash.
-Course I can, Roadie.
I won't be coming on the train with you to Southend any more.
Oh, Shirl! But I need you there!
I won't be coming on the train with you to Southend any more...
because I've managed to persuade Phil to lend us the Jag.
Otherwise I was going to withdraw, certain privileges.
Really? Really, really?! In the Jag?! That's amazing!
Yeah, but we still got to leave here at five when I've finished
because the tickets say that the Welcome Dinner starts at six thirty and there's no late admittance.
And then the George Michael Gala is straight after that.
Let me see the tickets.
Oh, you can't. They're packed away. Anyway, I've made a mix tape.
Now we can listen to it in the car on the way down.
-That's a shame. The car's only got a CD player.
-I'll get Fat Boy to put it on a CD for me.
-No, no, no, you're all right.
I'll get Jay to do it.
Oh. Thank you. That's really kind of you.
I've got a surprise for you, too, Shirl.
Southend 2011 on the front.
And on the back, yours says Carter.
-And mine says...
The excitement's crippling me.
I'll be back for these later.
I had to see you.
You know, there's a bee's nest up there. Might have to call Mr Wasp.
What d'you want all this stuff for, Mrs B?
-He couldn't look me in the eyes, Arthur.
The man. The man who did the scan.
He couldn't look me in the eyes.
He knew I was dying.
Mrs B, that guy had a lazy eye and he was a chief.
Come on, you've got to be more positive, all right?
Smell the petals.
Heather found your list.
even if the results come in on Friday, and they're bad -
which they won't be -
but if they are, that's exactly why you should do everything on here.
You know, do everything you want to do before...
Look, why don't we start at the top?
I don't want to talk to her, never again.
Who is she?
It's all that Heather Trott's fault, jaunting off to Southend.
That's where she lives now.
Oh, I don't want to talk about it.
All right, fine. Just tell me what you're looking for.
Apart from that, I've nothing else left.
Oh, Mrs B, you've got loads. All right?
Look, you've got, you've got...Jim.
You got the church, you got mates.
You know, you should be the queen of this square!
I'm surprised your bust ain't on the bar across the road instead of old Lady Vic's!
People round here, they need you, all right? So don't go giving up now.
Keep busy living or keep busy dying, eh? Who was it said that?
-Jesus wouldn't want me to wallow in the past, would he?
I just needed to say goodbye.
That's all right, isn't it?
I'm leaving London, going back to Manchester to my mum.
That night, Whit, what happened? It's proper messed up.
Whatever happened, I don't remember, to be honest.
Too many drugs.
Way too much drink.
What we had before all that, though...
By the time I realised I'd screwed up, it was too late.
You'd already gone.
But it was good, though, weren't it?
-The good bits, they were good.
-I'm meeting someone.
My mum's got cancer, Whit...
Kind of know how you feel, though.
With your mum being inside and all that.
She ain't my mum.
I can't imagine what it'll be like when my mum's gone.
Just that word...
Sometimes...I think it's worse than the illness.
I found out just as you'd left.
D'you know how bad that was, not having anyone to talk to?
I was in with a bad crowd. Bad people.
You called me a big fat wedge.
I don't remember any of that, Whit.
I knew it then, and I know it now.
-Since my mum became ill, everything's become so clear.
-What do you want, do you want sympathy?
I'm telling you because I knew you'd understand.
I get you and I know you get me. Like no-one else in the world, I know you get me.
Everyone who comes into your life, they leave you.
I didn't want to do that.
I just wanted to say goodbye.
You know I didn't mean...
I didn't mean good.
I know that.
Have you done the CD?
Er...nah, I'm sorry, the...
tape machine chewed it up.
All right, Columbo. It's no big deal. It's just a tape.
I just wanted us to have a proper holiday. To get on.
You know, like the old days. Like we used to.
Like Thelma and Louise.
D'you know how that film ends?
I just wanted you to be excited, that's all.
Right, here y'are...
That good enough for you?
I got something to tell you.
You know this convention...
It's a little bit different.
Just that there'll be loads of weird fans there.
What? Weirder than you?
-How you getting to Manchester?
-Tube from here to Euston. Then a train for Euston to Piccadilly.
Change at King's Cross.
Funny, that is.
-People in London always boast about how much they know about the tube, have you noticed?
-What's all that about?
Hammersmith and City.
You need Hammersmith and City. Not District.
Ooh, Whit! You all right?
Oh, hello, Whitney.
What a pleasant surprise. I don't suppose you planned it, Arthur?
Bring the old biddy out to commune with nature, and mix with the yoot.
What you chatting about, man? I didn't know she'd be here.
..this is umm...
This is Lee.
Lee! Yes, bruv! Finally good to meet you, man.
-You know, Whitney ain't stopped talking about you, bruv.
Well, not ain't stopped talking about you as in ain't stopped talking about,
kind of NORMALLY... Well, kind of, she talked about you normal, do you know what I mean?
I'll leave you youngsters to continue to converse in your usual incoherent fashion.
Arthur, I'll see you back at the house.
Arthur? She's blatantly been blazing it up.
Trying to pack her off to Southend, innit, with the Trotters,
trying to get a free yard - you're welcome to come and cotch if you want? You too, Lee?
Oh, no, I get it -
three's a crowd, innit?
Cool, well, I'll leave you kids to it and smell yous later.
Oh, you look after her, all right?
-No, worries mate.
-Nice one, Lee. Later on.
-And thank you.
-All good, man.
Come down the station with me, if you want? Whit?
What's the matter?
You were the first person I loved, Rob.
You know, mad feelings for.
Sweating in my hands, sick in my stomach.
Then you ruined it, didn't you?
Do you think I'm pathetic?
-But you're definitely demanding.
I'll get you a drink.
So, what now then?
OLD RECORD PLAYS
Is that yours?
No, it weren't.
Whose is it?
You know when people die,
and then they come back to life? What do they call that?
Near death experience.
And their whole life flashes in front of their eyes.
Well, when I was in that machine, I had them flashes.
Only they wasn't the good bits. They were the things I hadn't done.
Nick and Dotty, Ashley and my Charlie...
I don't want to go with regrets.
Who was she?
What are you talking...?
So I've asked Mr Oppopolous if I could have a few days if he'd cover me.
This is what I'm talking about! This will be hectic.
"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it."
You know who said that? Rafiki from The Lion King.
Now, THAT was a wise old man.
-Or wise monkey.
..will you drive me?
Yeah, but I'm not driving that car, Fats can do a lot better than that.
You just pack the bags and we'll be off, all right?
Ha-ha! Southend here we come!
MOBILE PHONE RINGS
I got to be back in a couple of days, so I can't really stay.
Enough time for you to see the tram.
Tell you what, right,
-just stay here two seconds and I'll grab some things.
-I thought you said everyone was out?
Yeah, they were.
But I think they're back now, so... Two seconds.
Come on, Lauren...
Right, it's Whitney.
Well, I can't now, can I? I'm busy now.
FRANTIC KNOCK ON DOOR
I've already spoken to Hev. She said it was all right.
I've already invited the old lady now.
You'd better uninvite her. I'm not gonna stop for geriatric bog breaks.
Shirl, you do know there is a tape player in here?
You can't say no to a potentially dying old lady, can you?
Shirley, this is very Christian of you.
-Who said the community spirit were dead?
-More the merrier, Dot.
-If you wanna come, you're driving.
-The jag? You serious?!
You know who it belongs to, don't ya?
Phil Mitchell and if he so much finds a gnat's fart on the paintwork...
Do you mind? My asthma.
Oh, my... Whit, are you alright? Oh, my goodness!
-Where you going?
-Can I come?
-Well, yeah, babe. Hop in, no worries.
-You're having a laugh, in't ya?
Come on Hev, this was supposed to be a trip for Thelma and Louise not the Rug Rats hit Southend.
-Right, is everyone all right?
Come on Shirl, we've only got four minutes!
I never seen her move so fast.
Arthur, will you do me a favour, will you arrange me room for me?
I've got something I gotta put right.
Yeah, yeah cool. Whatever.
She'll be all right, won't she?
Mrs B? She'll be easy like Sunday morning.
You are so sweet with her, do you know that.
Yeah, whatever. So you gonna tell me the real reason you're here?
-What d'you mean?
-Well, you've come here, no clothes. What you gonna do, borrow Shirley's?
Yeah. Listen I'm gonna call Pat anyway cos she's wondering
what I'm doing, what I'm up to. So shall I meet you back there?
All right then, cool.
Yeah, hello. I don't even know whose number this is, right. Rob?
Lee? I don't even care any more.
I am warning you, stay away from me.
Just leave me alone. I never, ever want to see you again.
"Couples Welcome Dinner?"
I know you said this was gonna be different but you brought me here as your lesbian lover?
No, no it's not like that. It's just a technicality.
Consider yourself dumped!
No, Shirl! Please don't!
Sorry but this is the couples Welcome Dinner.
Yeah but we just had our first row.
As the terms and conditions clearly state on the reverse of the ticket.
Can you move away from the door please?
Good news. They got rooms. They gotta clean 'em.
-Gonna be about an hour.
So you gonna tell me why you're really here?
With no toothbrush, no clothes? Or you gonna carry on treating me like a chief?
-Fats, you know that guy in the park.
Yeah. Except it weren't Lee. It was Rob.
Why didn't you tell me? I mean, are you all right?
-No, I'm fine. He just came back to see me, and now he's gone.
-Well come on. Let's call the feds.
No. What you talking about? I'm fine. Honestly, I am fine. He's moved back to Manchester.
Fats, I've done it. I've done it. I've won. He's gone.
You should have said something, Whit.
-I knew you was going a bit weird, blowing me off in the park.
-I know. I'm sorry.
-Well done, babe.
-Thank you. Oh...
-What are you like on rides?
-Me? Bigger the better, sweetheart.
-Yeah? You're it.
-What?! Come here! Oi... Whit!
Look, she's just got PMT, that's all.
She's with me. I'm with her so can we go inside?
I'm sorry but it is now 6.41. You're too late.
-As the terms and conditions clearly state...
-Do you know what?
I've come from London.
I've been looking forward to this for seven days, nine hours and approximately 37 minutes!
My friend here, Shirley Carter, she bought me these tickets.
And I lied to her, cos I wanted to be here that much.
To be here with people who love the same things that I love.
My friend hates me and I've ruined the only holiday...
-Hev, let me deal with this.
-I'm going to get the management.
I suppose I could possibly, just this once,
turn a blind eye.
Enjoy the power do you? Jobsworth.
That's really kind of you.
I'm looking for someone.
I believe that she drinks in here occasionally.
You looking for her?
Oh, hello darling, you're shy! Don't worry, I won't bite.
Unless you want me to.
Next one to buy me a drink gets a proper dance!
And that's my sister.
WHITNEY ON VOICEMAIL: "Yeah, hello. I don't know whose number this is.
"Rob. Lee. I don't even care any more.
"I am warning you, stay away from me. Just leave me alone.
"I never ever want to see you again."
When Whitney sees Ryan and Lauren together, she calls them pathetic. Whitney heads to the park to meet Lee, and is shocked to see Rob. Rob insists he’s only come to say goodbye before going to Manchester, his mum’s got cancer. While Rob’s getting her a drink, Whitney texts Lee and realises she’s been set up when Rob’s phone beeps. Later, thinking he’s persuaded her to come to Manchester, Rob escorts Whitney home. Inside, Whitney phones Ryan but, busy kissing Lauren, he doesn’t answer. Panicking, Whitney escapes through the back door and runs in front of Phil’s Jag. She climbs into the car and a furious Rob watches her being driven away. In Southend, Whitney leaves Rob a voicemail; she never wants to see him again. Whitney explains what’s happened to Fatboy. They have fun at the fairground, but at a table underneath one of the rides Rob listens to Whitney’s message - he’s followed her.
In preparation for the 80’s convention, Heather’s painted a banner, had t-shirts printed and made a mix tape (which Shirley destroys). Arriving in Southend, Shirley’s furious to discover they’ve come to a lesbian and gay convention. Without Shirley, the bouncer, Andrew, won’t let Heather into the couples welcome dinner. However Shirley returns and, impressed by Heather, Andrew decides to let them in.
Dot’s had a CAT scan, she won’t get the results until Friday but is scared she’s dying. Fatboy suggests she start working through her ‘bucket list’. Dot agrees to go to Southend. Fatboy persuades Shirley and Heather to let him and Dot travel with them in Phil’s Jag. In Southend, Dot tracks down her sister who’s drinking and flirting with a group of men in a run down bar. Dot leaves without speaking to her.