24/10/2011 EastEnders

DOOR SHUTS

-YOU shouldn't be up.

-Sorry?

Never mind. I'm here now. Soon have you on your feet.

-I'm on my feet!

-Come on, Pat. Sit...

-Norman...

-Sit. Sit.

Now, two things. One - the loan paperwork.

I need you to sign it. It's all sorted,

with the house as security. Just sign on the dotted line

and kiss your worries goodbye.

-Nobody knows about this, right?

-Scout's honour.

-And what's the other thing?

-Ah! I bought a pack of cards.

-You make that sound like a good thing.

-Gin, canasta, snap...

the world is full of possibilities. I'm here to look after you.

Why? I had an angina attack. I took a pill. It passed.

What about next time?

Oh, you're a right little ray of sunshine, ain't you?

Tea?

There you go. Coffee. Strong and brown. Just how you like it.

See how I didn't make the obvious joke there? See that?

How comes you're so lively? You drank exactly the same as me.

Yeah, but that's cos I am blessed, sweetheart, all right?

And I can hold my drink. You knock me down I get straight back up. You understand me?

-Like the Terminator.

-Yeah, but with better jokes, all right?

-So, listen, don't worry about this weekend.

-I weren't.

-No...because

-I

-have plans.

-Yeah, what plans?

-Big ones, all right.

They're the only ones you get when you roll with me, all right?

I shall see you later. All right?

Oh, sorry, are you all right?

-Yeah...

-A tenner.

-She's got her eye on that ring.

-She knows how much it costs.

Clever girl!

-Listen, I should probably...

-Stay a bit longer?

I said I'd be back. I don't want Christian to, well, you know...

-I thought he knew.

-He does.

-You told him? About seeing Yasmin?

-Yeah.

-How did he take it?

-We're spending the afternoon together.

-You know, a bit of shopping, something to eat, maybe a film...

-Just the two of you. Nice.

We've been under a lot of pressure recently.

We need some time to ourselves.

-Pressure?

-Stuff.

Me, you mean.

You should've seen her when she first saw you.

I've never seen her so excited.

Maybe a few minutes longer, eh?

Hey, Yasmin... Moose!

Here, don't take this the wrong way, but I've seen healthier corpses.

There we go. Slice each and half and half on the beans. Get stuck in.

-You've got more than me.

-Oh what, you counting them now, are you?

-Can I have a sausage?

-No.

Look, even with the money I get from Janine, I can't afford to pay our electricity bill, all right?

I'm not going to spend the rest of what I've got on a sausage.

-But I'm hungry.

-And what about William and Janet, eh?

How can they come and stay if I haven't got any hot water?

I can't be giving them cold baths in the middle of winter.

-So it's a no on the sausage, then?

-Yes. It's a no on the sausage

Excuse me.

Sorry, could you pass me the sugar, please? Thank you.

-Oh, thank you.

-(What are you doing?)

I didn't ask for that.

No, but if you don't eat something,

that tea's going to come straight back up again.

And I don't fancy putting me rubber gloves on. Just eat it. Then go home and sleep it off.

Maybe.

Are you worried about your Mum?

She's seen a lot worse with Rainie.

-Right, yeah.

-Look, this isn't a doss house.

-If you're going to carry on doing it, then get better at it.

-What, the drinking?

No, the hangover.

-All right?

-All right.

Thanks.

You ran out on me.

You not used to it?

Doesn't happen that often.

-Is that right?

-I was...surprised.

No, you weren't.

We should probably keep this to ourselves.

Yeah, I think so, don't you?

No need for, say, Whitney to find out about it.

-Whitney?

-Say.

Oh right.

-So, you're, er...still into her, then?

-Me? No, course not.

But you know what she's like.

-It's for her sake.

-Yeah. For her sake.

-Where're the kids?

-I gave them a fiver. Told them to get some buns.

I thought you'd like the house to yourself.

I don't need to be wrapped in cotton wool. Look...

thanks very much for sorting out the loan,

but I don't need you taking over.

I just want everything to get back to normal, OK?

-I just wanted to help.

-You can do that by leaving me alone.

Um...

Yeah, um...

'So, I'll call you in a day or two.'

OK. But just don't leave a message. You know, Dad's watching me.

-We'll do this again though, right?

-Yasmin would love that.

OK, then.

OK.

Hands off the shiny jewellery, all right?

It'll be designer bags, next.

Hopefully.

-Bye, then.

-Bye.

YASMIN CRIES

Syed! Help!

-It's Yasmin! She swallowed my ring!

-What?

-My ring. It's gone.

-Maybe you dropped it...

-She swallowed it, I'm sure of it.

Please, can we go back to your place, make sure she's OK?

-She needs to go to hospital.

-What?

-We should take her to A&E.

PHONE RINGS

Sy?

Now? You're kidding, aren't you?

Can't you fit him in for a massage a little bit later on?

Well, if his back's out, I suppose you better go...

-What sort of person stabs someone?

-The sort with a knife.

-I wonder what made them do something like that?

-I've heard it don't take much.

You know, look at someone the wrong way, say the wrong thing and...

-Amazing.

-Not from where I'm standing, it isn't.

PHONE RINGS

-What?

-No Tanya?

-No, she's got 'flu. I'm covering.

Only, I left my keys here the other day.

She said she left them under the till.

Leave them outside, will ya? Does it look like we've got room in here?

-No, sorry, nothing.

-Don't worry. I'll ask Tanya when I see her. Thanks. Bye.

-Perfect. Good at this, ain't ya?

-Sign there.

And next time we make an order...

-I'm going to make sure it's you doing the delivery, yeah?

-Thanks.

-See ya.

Oi!

Oh!

Oh, no.

Not again.

SHE GASPS

You OK?

Can you open these for me, love? I can't do it.

That's cos they're childproof.

That'll...be it.

Ta.

Always a pleasure to help such an important member of the community.

-You can't help yourself, can you?

-Come on. Let's get you home.

Give me a minute, please.

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

-Did you like the film, then?

-Stand By Me?

-Yeah, well, you said you liked it.

-Tell you the truth, Ben -

it's a while since I've seen it.

Well, maybe we could watch it later.

-Ben...

-It's just I've never seen it and...

I'm doing something with Sy this afternoon, all right?

Look, Ben, if you need somebody to talk to...

You know, problems, questions you might have.

-You know I'm always here.

-Yeah.

But I've got a life with Sy, and I can't just... I've got to keep things balanced.

-You understand?

-Yeah, I'm not stupid.

-I know you're not stupid.

Sy's working this morning, so we're making it up this afternoon.

That is all.

-OK.

-Another time then, yeah?

-Yeah.

-All right.

Is that why I saw him in the park?

Sorry?

-I saw him in the park earlier.

-No. You can't have done, Ben.

Yeah, with Amira.

Thank you.

Pat?

-I think she had a funny turn.

-She all right?

-Just gave her a bit of a fright, I think.

-She's probably overdoing it.

-I can hear, you know.

-Luke!

-Luke, can you mind my stall, please?

-Yeah, course.

I'm taking her home.

Thanks for this.

Sometimes I do the right thing.

Sometimes.

-I'll see you. See you later.

-Ta, darling.

-In your own time.

-Sorry.

-Mr Masood.

-Yes.

Um... Do you need to talk to my...? She's gone to get some drinks.

Been snacking on your mum's jewellery, eh?

Definitely NOT one of your five-a-day.

I'll need to take her for an x-ray,

but a few questions before we do, yeah.

-OK.

-When she swallowed the object, did she cough?

-Any signs of choking?

-I didn't see.

You seem very quiet.

-Is she always like this?

-I...

-Has she eaten since this happened?

-Yes.

Ah, good. And did she take as much as she normally does?

Has she been in hospital before? Any other health problems?

-Is your daughter normally healthy?

-Yes. She's perfectly healthy.

Just can't help putting things in her mouth, eh?

-I've got twins - they were just the same.

-Poor you.

Oh yeah, saw something shiny and bang. Straight in.

-The only solution was a magnet on a piece of string.

-Really?

No, I'm joking. Good...

Well, we'll go and take a quick look at her and then we'll get her off to x-ray, OK?

-He's a good-looking boy.

-Who's that?

Tyler Moon.

Anyone getting involved with Tyler Moon needs their head examined.

-I thought you were with Fatboy.

-Yeah, I am.

Then why were you looking at Tyler like that?

No, I wasn't!

If you're with Fatboy, fine.

If you want to be with Tyler, do something about it.

It's great having a choice.

But then you have to make a decision.

Half pint? It's me...

Towels! Beautiful towels.

Give your body the treat it deserves. Softer than a baby's bum.

Hello. I've got face towels, hand towels, body towels.

-Look, they're two for a tenner, I'm practically giving them away...

-I'll take two, please.

Congratulations! You've just got yourself the same towels used by Cheryl Cole

and Simon Cowell.

Well, not at the same time though, mind... See ya.

HORN HONKS

All right.

How's Pat?

Yeah, she's fine, thanks.

Good. Good.

That was a really nice thing you did.

Sh! Don't tell anyone. Don't want to spoil my reputation.

Listen... You're probably busy later...

-Hello, sweetheart, I hope you are strapped in.

-What?

-Yeah, cos Air Fats is ready for takeoff.

-What?

Yeah, tonight I'm going to show Whitney what it means when Fats is your man.

-Is that right?

-I've got the keys to heaven, here. The latest Fatmobile on the forecourt.

Going to drive into a nice bit of the country, quiet bit of Epping Forest,

-just me, you and the stars, babe.

-Lucky you.

It's no more than she deserves, eh, bruv?

-All right, man, take it easy. Ain't that right, sweetheart?

-Yeah.

-Listen, I've got to go.

-What? Oh, right then, cool.

I'll check you later. All right, babe.

PHONE VIBRATES

Hi.

-Thank you.

-What for?

-Being here.

Don't be daft.

Growing up, I never really knew my Dad.

I mean, he was around, but he was never there, does that make sense?

Yeah.

He used to buy me things, he was good at that.

Gave me toys, gave me treats, gave me everything...

except the one thing I wanted.

I know what it's like to have a father and know, inside,

he doesn't care.

Which is why it's so important for Yasmin that you're around.

-She doesn't really know who I am, does she?

-Are you kidding?

That beany reindeer thing you gave her - it's her favourite.

It's a moose.

Right. But...she's never without it.

-She knows you're somehow part of her life...

-Amira.

-..and if for any reason you weren't around...

I know what you're doing.

-You know, all this blurb about your Dad?

-Blurb?

You're pressuring me.

I'm not.

-It's serious, Syed.

-I'm taking it seriously.

Is that why you haven't told Christian yet?

You lied to him on the phone. He doesn't know you're with me, does he?

He just needs a bit of time, that's all. Doesn't he deserve that?

And Yasmin needs a father. Doesn't she deserve that?

All clear.

She didn't swallow anything as far as I can tell. So YOU can go home.

-Oh, really? I could've sworn...

-That's great news. Thank you.

I must've dropped it in the park, after all.

What would you do?

-I think you're better off with Fatboy.

-But I really like Tyler.

-He's full of it, Whit.

-Not when you get to know him.

There's nothing to know. Take a walk through his deepest thoughts,

-you wouldn't even get your ankles wet.

-Why are you so down on him?

I'm not.

What's he done to you?

All right, then, Whit, just do what you want. Really, I don't care.

-What aren't you telling me?

-Whit...

Come on, you're hiding something?

Last night. We, um... We were just...

I don't believe it.

-It meant nothing, Whit, seriously.

-Behind my back?

-Behind my back when you knew how I felt.

-I'm sorry.

-You couldn't wait to get him in your bed, could you?

-It wasn't like that.

Does it make you feel good, does it, Throwing yourself at him?

Actually, he made the first move.

And it weren't me who started it, so...

That makes it all right, does it?

All right, what about if I give you SOME of the money that I've made?

How about you give me ALL the money that you made?

Well, I'd not have enough to do something about my roots which I'll need when I come and work for you.

What?!

Just think about it. You could do the whole legal thing -

statements, evidence all of that. It's just a waste of time.

-She has got a point, Rox.

-Or you could give me a job,

which helps me, helps you, helps the economy.

Well, everyone wins, don't they?

-It's kind of like doing community service.

-Only with a wage.

-Well yeah.

-You've got to admit, she is pretty good.

She's better than good. OK. All right, fine, I'll talk to Tanya.

You're not that good.

Tyler! Tyler Moon! You get out here now and you show your face.

Usually a couple of rings on the doorbell does the job.

I actually thought that underneath it all you were different.

-Trust me, I'm a one-off, babe.

-Shut up, Tyler, all right?

Lauren, she told me everything.

You're all the same, aren't you?

You come on to me and when that don't work, you come on to my best mate.

-Why shouldn't I?

-What?

-You were with Fatboy. What am I meant to do?

I trusted you, how stupid was that?

-You're all the same, you just line us up.

-Whit?

Doesn't matter what's above the neck? All that matters is what's working down below. Is that how it works?

-Whit, Whit...

-Is that how it works, Tyler?!

-Come on, babe, come on.

Come on. That's enough. It's all right.

Next time, I'll know the answers.

I realise it wasn't blurb.

Not all of it. Losing a pretty ring like that.

It's a shame you'll never wear it again.

Maybe I'll find an exact replica.

Maybe you will.

Mrs B, she's gone to visit Jim, so, uh...

She's not going to be back for hours.

Well, it looks like we've hit a bit of turbulence,

so if you could return your seats to the upright position, Air Fats will soon be ready for takeoff...

-Fatboy?

-Yeah.

-Shut up.

Yeah.

Maybe I'm mad or something.

You know, cos I really thought that...

I dunno. Maybe it's me.

-Maybe I'm the problem.

-No, you're not.

-No, I am! Come on, think about it.

There's people out there, right, with boyfriends, and husbands,

and they're perfectly happy, ain't they.

But you look at me and every bloke...

Every guy that looks at me just thinks...

Do you know what? You don't want me here.

-I'm sorry, I've spoilt everything.

-You haven't spoilt nothing.

I can go round, blaming them all, but what if...

What if the way they treat me... is what I deserve? Hm?

What if...

-What if it is all my fault?

-You know what? I hate those guys.

They're all players and they're all liars and every single one of them have let you down.

You know why I hate them? It's cos I'm never going to be like that.

But you're so used to seeing the doo-doo that...you're never going to see it.

-See what?

-It doesn't matter what happens, all right?

Or who you see.

For the rest of your life, no-one's going to care about you as much as I care about you right now.

-You've been gone for ages.

-Yeah.

-Must've really needed some work.

I told you, his back was out. He had muscles like boulders.

-Amira must've been bored stiff.

-What d'you mean?

Well, it's Ben. He said he saw you and Amira.

-Well, that's ridiculous.

-Well, that's what he said, Sy.

-He said he saw you and Amira in the park.

-No, it was a client.

-I saw her this morning.

-In the park?

Yeah, she wanted me to meet some friends of hers. Potential clients.

You want to watch him, Christian.

You can't always believe everything he says.

You're right. Look...

I'm sorry.

-Shall I get some take-away?

-I thought you'd never ask.

You get the plates.

233 against 8. You are making this easy for me.

-I'm a qualified bookkeeper. Did you know that?

-No, I didn't.

I ran the Vic. Cab firm, car lot...

Even had the bookies for a while.

I made them all work.

Men have come and gone.

People I loved have died and I've just carried on.

I never felt that there was something that I set my mind to,

that I really wanted...

..a job, or a bloke that I couldn't have.

-Now I can't even go round the corner for teabags.

-Oh, Pat, you will.

-Is this what they call slowing down?

-It might be.

It's pants, isn't it?

-Big pants.

-Sometimes, you just have to make a decision.

-Sorry?

Oh, shut up, keep dealing.

Right, there we go.

Are you OK?

-Yeah.

-Yeah?

Kung pao chicken, crispy shredded beef, rice not noodles,

and pak choi in oyster sauce.

-Oh, not garlic?

-I was thinking of later!

-I tell you, I thought my arms were going to drop off today.

-Yeah?

Yeah. My fingers were cramping like you would not believe.

-Really?

-Yeah. Still, home now. No harm done.

Yeah. No harm done.