13/08/2012 EastEnders

Who's that?

It's a text from Grant and Sam saying welcome to the family,

Mrs Mitchell-to-be.

3-1 Shirley dumps Phil at the altar again.

Oh come on, chaps. Worth a punt, innit?

She's not going to do it a second time, is she, Mo?

What else you offering?

Punch up at today's engagement, 10-1.

And one may turn out to be gay at 20-1.

Phil? Gay? I think we'd know.

Shirley's just climbed on the pub roof and proposed to him.

He's marrying the Milk Tray man.

Kim. Do us a favour, sweetheart?

When you see your fella, can you tell him

we got footie practice at 4.00?

-I need my star striker there.

-I'll pass on the message.

-Thanks.

I'm off to make myself even more beautiful. If that's possible.

Mo, a tenner on someone getting arrested today, yeah.

Gotcha.

Mo. Do you have to run a book on everything?

Oh, cheer up, misery guts.

Everything's a money-spinner for you. Even a wedding.

It's bang out of order.

Too right. Phil had 3-1 odds on that Kat'd do a runner at yours.

Shut up.

Yeah. Go play with the traffic.

Ian! Ian, mate! Listen, why don't you pop over later?

Phil Mitchell's going to stick a tab behind the bar.

Come on, you don't want to miss that, do you, eh?

But is it appropriate for an engagement?

Last thing I want to do is to ruin the party.

Patrick. It's lovely.

-I just...

-Hello.

I just wanted to give her something special, you know, Shirls...

To mark their day.

And you have.

Pre-party warm up. Now, where are my drinking shoes?

You coming too?

Yeah. Me, Phil and Shirl, we're like that.

Since when?

Since I heard it was a free bar. I'll catch you lot there, yeah?

-Ian all right?

-He's hardly said a word.

-Good.

Dad? Is this really what you want? This wedding?

Yeah. We gotta move on. Live our lives.

-Like it?

-Ian never got his wedding day, did he?

Just a nervous breakdown and now we're locking him up?

Not that I want to spoil the party.

We're in this together, Jay. Ben, you, Ian, me.

It's creeping me out. Having him staring at me.

Having to pretend like everything's normal.

Everything is normal. Especially today. For Shirley's sake.

Now don't let him go wandering off again like you did yesterday.

Don't leave his side. Got it?

Come over later then? Couple of hours this afternoon?

Gold!

Come on. Let's go to the party.

Unless you want to play pole-vault again.

Nah, nah, nah, babe, I can't.

-Got training in half an hour, man.

-Not till 4.00, Alfie said.

Alfie? No, no, no, I'm training for Vivienne's team today, babe.

-Viv's?

-Yeah.

-What? You actually joined her team?

Yeah. What? She's persuasive. She has ideas about my future.

Which don't involve me being on the bench.

But don't tell Alfie though, yeah? I can play for both.

How you going to manage that? I saw Alfie in the Vic earlier.

-Said you'd be there for team practice.

-I can't, babe.

Cover for me, please? Yeah? Please? Love you.

She all right?

Yeah, yeah. She's fine. We should get her out today though.

Give her some fresh air.

It's not good for her being cooped up in here all day.

What are you doing?

Oh. Just...your coat. I'm checking for...pollen.

She could be allergic.

Anyway I don't want to take her out. People gawping over her.

Giving her germs...

Rubbish. She's fine. She loved it yesterday. Sun on her face.

You should get out too. Looking a bit pasty, girl.

Where are you going?

Going to work.

You look very nice for work.

I always look very nice.

Whitney's coming over to help you.

Michael! Really, I don't need any help.

I know you don't need any help. Just in case you need...

a loo break or something. OK?

-You scrub up well.

-That going to be your wedding speech?

Well, that depends if yours is going to be, "I've changed my mind."

Like last time.

It won't happen.

Good. Don't want to waste another suit, do I?

Let's go.

D'you know what?

Phil has been actually smiley round the house since she proposed.

I think it's very brave of Phil to try again.

I don't know what I'd do if I was jilted at the altar.

Probably run home and cry.

-IMITATING PHIL

-I, Phil Mitchell, do take thee, Shirley Carter... Oi, look.

Check this out. Phil and Grant.

THEY LAUGH

Stop it. D'you know what,

I'm just pleased that someone in that house is actually happy.

Ian's been practically in a coma

and Jay's been on one for the last couple of days.

Bit weird, though. Phil taking Beale in?

He's been trying to kick his head in for the last 20 years,

now he's offering him bed and breakfast.

Ian hasn't said a word. I dunno what's going on.

You going to bet on the perfect wedding and happily ever after then?

No. I will stick with a fiver on a bust-up.

-There you go, buddy.

-HE WOLF WHISTLES

-Look at this!

-Well, hello, free bar.

All right, sweetheart? Where's Raymondo?

Oh. Um, he ain't coming. He's injured.

What?

Yeah. He fell over in my Kimba class. Doing the grapevine.

Oh, great. Great.

Easy, Mo.

You don't look very cheerful. How's Scarlett?

Fine. Scotch, please.

OK. That doesn't sound like the drink of fine to me, though.

It's the drink of no sleep.

How's Janine? Only that, Tommy can't wait to see his little sis.

No.

I'm shattered. I'm going to work.

Whoa. Hold on. You'll be shattered for the next 20 years.

Stick around. Have a refill.

Next time someone offers you advice about the kids, mate,

if I was you, I'd bite their hand off.

-Yeah?

-I got an idea. Just hear me out.

How'd you fancy we organise, like, a...what do they call it?

One of these baby play dates. No hold on.

What I'll do, I'll get Kat to spend time with Janine,

she can give all the bunny how to put the kid to sleep, blah, blah.

That way, Scarlett gets to spend a bit of time with her big brother,

the bruiser, Tommy. Come on.

She's indestructible. She's a Moon.

So Michael called you?

Yeah. He asked me if I had a couple of hours.

Is Scarlett OK?

She's fine. What time did he call?

Dunno. Um...

Just after two.

-You all right? You look exhausted.

-Do I look bad?

Do I need put some make-up on?

No, I mean, you know, you're a new mum. I'll give you a break.

SHE SIGHS

Honestly, Whitney, I can't leave her.

Thank you for the offer. But...

OK, all right. Fine.

If you change your mind, Michael's over the Vic.

I just seen him walk in there, you should join him.

Michael's in the Vic?

Pops!

Oh, Lo! What you gone and bought her now?

Gorgeous, isn't she? My little wabbit.

Oh, ain't she lovely!

Officially Walford's best looking baby.

With officially the silliest mum.

I told you not to spend that prize money on stupid stuff.

-I said invest it for her.

-I did invest it.

I bought her a kitten outfit for when she's three months, actually.

You're going to have nothing left!

Here they are, the happy couple!

THE CROWD APPLAUD

Did we even invite any of these people?

Looks like they've just come to fill their face.

-Kat, cap the free drinks at 100 quid, will ya?

-Yeah.

Here, look, it's that cheap prosexio stuff.

You would have thought he'd at least stretch to champagne.

He's had so many engagement parties. How many wives is it? Three or four?

Depends if you count the one that wound up dead before the reception.

You know, this ain't right. Ben and Jay should be here.

They gotta be with Ian, ain't they?

They're our proper family, not a bunch a freeloaders.

Phil, I want them here.

Kat, sweetheart? Quick word.

You sure this is the right thing?

A baby date? With Janine?

Scarlett and Tommy.

Listen, between us, I think Janine's having a tough time being a mum.

-So?

-So? Kat, you show her the ropes, don't ya?

Come on, little Scarlett. New Moon, an' all that.

I know Michael gave us back the money but I ain't mates with Janine.

I don't think I can sit there smiling at her, knitting babygrows.

I know, sweetheart.

I know we've had our problems in the past,

but let's put that to one side. OK? We can't take it out on the kids.

-It's not their fault.

-I know that.

-OK. Come on.

Eh? They're family. Yeah. New Moon? Little baby?

Tommy's dying to meet his little sister. Ain't you?

TV PLAYS

DOOR OPENS

Shirley called. Wants us both over there now.

We can't just leave him.

If we don't go, Shirley's going to get suspicious.

We haven't got a choice. Bring him with ya.

But stay right by his side. Yeah?

You know, when I get married, it's going to be a theme. Yeah.

I picked up a few ideas from the Olympic opening ceremony.

-Ray aware of that, is he?

-He likes it.

And he's going to put a ring on it, trust me.

Mate, I can't line my stomach with this crab paste,

I'm going to raid the kitchen. Want some?

Sweetheart, been trying to get Ray on the blower. How bad is he?

He's in hospital.

Really? Is it that bad?

Yeah. It's his Achilles...knee.

Ankle.

She didn't want me there. She didn't even let me touch the baby.

Alfie, what time we doing this thing?

Kat's just getting Tommy ready. Ten minutes.

Ten minutes.

You come back down to earth yet?

-Literally.

-Just about.

It was so romantic.

You up there all alone, declaring your love.

-You weren't even that drunk, were you?

-Right.

Well, I'll just get on with the rolling buffet.

PATRICK CLEARS THROAT

-Congratulations!

-Oh, you didn't need to bring a present.

Well, I hope I did the right thing, you know.

I was trying to think of what to get, that would mean something.

Phil.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES

Thank you.

SHE SIGHS

BABY GURGLES

PHONE RINGS

-Oh, ZZ Top.

-Not now, Mo.

Oh, Ian... Ian.

Ian.

You came to the party!

-Heather did too.

-Here you go, buddy.

Drink's on the house, all right. Welcome back to the Vic.

You OK, mate? It's all right, Ian. You're amongst friends.

I know what it's like. It was like this for me after Lucas.

He ain't ready.

-He ain't well.

-What am I going to do with him?

-Just get him out of here, get him home.

-Just leave him.

Do him good to be out. Come on, boys, join in the celebrations.

Have a glass of champagne.

To my Heather.

GLASS SHATTERS

SHE HUMS MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME

What you doing here?

Viv cancelled. So I'm going to tell Alfie I'm back on.

-Oh. Speak of the devil.

-No!

-PLATE SHATTERS AND HE SCREAMS

-Oh! My foot!

-He all right?

Yeah. Injured. I told Alfie.

What you talking about?

-What was that about?

-I had to cover for you, innit.

-Told Alfie you injured your foot.

-Yeah, well, I have now.

And now our stories are straight.

Just be grateful I didn't say it was a groin strain.

It's only a glass, Ian. Happens all the time in a pub.

Here you are, Ian, have another drink.

You look like you could do with it.

-I told ya we shouldn't bring him here.

-Don't blame me.

-I didn't know that was here, did I?

-All right, Ian.

Time to go, mate.

-What? Over a dropped glass?

-I want Ben to stay here.

-Come on, Ian.

Won't be the first or last glass smashed in the pub, will it?

Come and sit down.

Make us a bit a lunch and you can tell me

exactly what's been going on. All right? Have a chat.

Me and my best buddy. Come on. I've got ya.

-Are you all right?

-Just a bruise, the hospital said.

-(Hospital?)

-Mm.

-Yeah. Yeah, it was a lucky escape.

-What happened?

-Told you, innit.

Kimba casualty. Don't worry. He'll be fine by the morning.

-He's got a nurse.

-Good. Well, listen, you rest up, mate.

-I'm going to need you.

-What, as a benchwarmer?

-Don't be silly.

Benchwarmer? No, I'm talking about you resting. Tactics.

-You're my star striker, aren't you, eh?

-Oh!

So make sure you give him some TLC, all right, sweetheart?

Oh, yes, consider it done.

-Ooooh!

-You hear that? Star striker.

-Yeah!

And I was star chef up until I sacrificed that for you as well.

You're impossible!

No, I ain't. Listen, I've just got two needs.

Yeah? Man time and drink time.

If you play for both teams, I lose out on the first.

I lie to Alfie, and then I risk the second.

Now listen, you need to make up your mind. Which team? Alfie's? Or Viv's?

I'm going to find you the new Mrs Beale. All right, Ian?

And I promise you, she'll be beautiful.

So, when's the big day?

We haven't decided yet, have we, Phil?

Heather's funeral music.

I thought I'd play this in Heather's honour.

Phil.

You should dance with the lady.

I don't dance.

I can vouch for that.

How about a speech then?

Yeah, come on, Phil. Let's have a speech!

CROWD MURMUR

Maybe it's too loud in here for him with the celebration and everything?

Why don't we go home, eh?

Tell you what, we'll take him upstairs for a rest. I'll handle it.

Well, come on, Phil. Don't leave the lady waiting, yeah.

Well, today's about...about putting things right.

It's about doing something I should have done a long time ago.

I'll just let Kat know you're here, all right? Hold on a sec.

Shirley's been to hell and back

but we are going to put things right now....

Ian. Stay, all right?

Just copy me and Jay. We got it all sussed out now.

So if you'd all raise your glasses...

Jay?

..to Shirley.

ALL: To Shirley!

That's it, eh?

Come on, mate, I've got you.

There you go.

Right, you've got a step here. Hi, Tommy. Mind the step.

Just...it's a bit noisy down there, darling.

Give him a bit of peace and quiet up here.

There you go, sit down there, mate.

Listen, you want to have a lie down, you know you're more than welcome.

There's some food in the fridge.

Just help yourself, all right? Come on then, where we going?

We're going to go see your little sister Scarlett.

-Bet she can't wait, can she?

-No, she can't.

-That's right.

Because, right, you are now a big brother to Scarlett. Yes.

And Uncle Michael over there, he's a big brother to

them herberts, Antony and Tyler.

And that's Ian down there. He is a big brother to Ben.

Can you say Ben? Come on then.

Let's go and see your little sister, shall we?

Listen, sweetheart, just keep an eye on him.

Right, shall we go and get a balloon for your little sister, eh?

What colour shall we get for Scarlett?

Pink's a good colour.

You told him what? You told him about Jay?

Told him what?

You told him I'm in on it, didn't ya?

He could tell anyone.

-You don't know...

-Just shut up, Jay. Shut up.

I told the pair of you not to let him out your sight. Didn't I, eh?

Ian! Ian!

-He's not well.

-It's all right. Jean's with him. He's not alone.

Phil! This is my engagement. Where's my fiance?

Don't keep the lady waiting.

That tab's up to 100 quid already.

-We're going to stay.

-No.

I don't want to stay with a load of freeloaders.

We'll take it back to ours.

If they want to come celebrate they can bring their own bottle.

I'm not leaving without Ian.

I know he's your brother and you want to do your best by him,

but he just needs a bit of peace and quiet. All right?

Please, Phil!

You know... Having a melt...

Being ill, Ian, has nothing to do with cleverness.

Some of the greatest minds have snapped.

It's a lonely place, isn't it?

Every breakdown I've ever fought,

the people who don't understand me, judge me.

There are very few who would wear a ribbon for me,

tell me I'm being brave.

But what you did today, Ian, walking in the Vic like that...

..it was brave.

One of the things that I've learnt from my stints in hospital

is to not bottle things up.

To talk. Ask for help.

I've spent hours sometimes,

up on the internet, on support forums,

talking to people I hardly know, I've never even met.

But they seem like good people, and they care about me.

Talk to me, Ian.

Don't lock things up.

What is it that's made you like this?

You said you were at work when you were at the...pub.

Tommy wants to meet his new sister, don't you, Tommy?

And we've brought a pink balloon for Scarlett, ain't we, buddy?

Well, has he washed his hands? Is he clean?

That's a bit rude, isn't it? Shall we just go upstairs and see her?

-She in the bedroom?

-Let's go and see your sister.

-What are you doing here?

-Well, that's a nice welcome, ain't it?

So motherhood, not that easy, is it?

Just keep dragging me in, like you have from the start, I...

All right? Got one for Lexi. And one for us.

-Shirley through there?

-Think so, yeah.

I keep thinking the Old Bill are going to burst through that door.

I know, I know. I'm sorry. All right? I'll do it.

-You'll do what?

-The truth. I'll confess.

-What? Don't be stupid.

-It's the only way, Jay.

If I confess then it's all over. Ain't it?

All quiet out there. Ian ain't said a dicky bird.

It ain't Ian I'm worried about now. It's him.

He wants to tell the Old Bill now.

Ben?

-I'm evil, aren't I?

-You made a mistake.

Yeah, But if I confess, I can help Ian. I can help you.

-All this can be done with.

-If you squeal, you'll take Ian down too.

All of us. We all knew and said nothing.

And what about Shirl? You'll wreck her life as well.

-But Ian knows.

-Ian's known for months.

If he was going to say anything, he'd have done it.

Now stop letting him freak you out.

This isn't just about Mandy.

No-one has that look in their eye over just a girl.

And you're a family man, Ian.

You wouldn't just abandon Lucy and Bobby over just a girl.

I want to tell you.

Well, go on.

I don't need any help. Why does everybody think I need help?

-Why are you all here?

-For Tommy.

-Oh, what?

So you can compare Michael's two kids?

SHE SIGHS

I'm not here for a competition, Janine.

Look, I know it's hard with kids.

And it don't get any easier, trust me.

I haven't come here for a fight.

I've come here because we're family.

Michael and I, we're her family.

He loves us.

Good. I'm glad he was wrong then.

About what?

So this wedding day?

Will it be a big do with all the trimmings?

Ben in velvet knickerbockers?

You'll make a lovely little pageboy.

Me in a big white dress, veil and little tears when Phil says yes.

Don't think so. Not exactly me, is it?

Come on, you'll look beautiful whatever you wear.

It won't be a flash do. I know that.

Not like I got any family to invite.

-Your kids coming?

-I doubt it. It's not important.

-More drinks, anyone?

-I'll have one.

Wallpaper's still in focus.

I told you. I didn't mean anything by it.

You just sit in your grotty little pub and talk about my relationship?

No, I don't. The whole world don't revolve around you, Janine.

-We haven't spoke about you since...

-Since when?

You said "wrong".

-What was he wrong about?

-I just meant I was pleased for you.

That's all. You've turned him into a father. A husband.

I couldn't do it. I never thought I'd see it happen.

And I was wrong.

No, no, but you said HE was wrong. Not you.

It was him, wasn't it?

He said he couldn't be a father? Or a husband?

Did he say he didn't love me as well?

Yeah.

But don't you see? You've proved him wrong.

Look, he thought he couldn't love, he couldn't love me,

he couldn't love Tommy.

But he can love.

-He had a pre-nup and he married you anyway.

-On my wedding day?

He said that on my wedding day?!

IAN SOBS

-What's this?

-It's me...

..saying that you are the most important thing in my life.

At last, you realise.

You know, yesterday, you asked, who you are?

Well, I'll tell you.

I can tell you who I want you to be.

I want you to be my wife.

KNOCK ON DOOR

HARD KNOCK ON DOOR

Answer the door, Phil Why won't you answer it?

Dad?

Let me talk.

Help me!

Sharon?

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd