03/03/2014 EastEnders

SIREN WAILS OUTSIDE

-Mum?

-Mm?

You seen the thermometer that Pat had?

Bathroom cabinet, second shelf down. Why, what do you need it for?

Tiff says she's running a fever. Like I need that today.

By the way, Sonia texted.

Said she's going to pop in and wish you good luck for the gene test results.

Right.

All right, then.

Liam, will you get a move on?

DOORBELL RINGS

Someone get that?

-Billy.

-Bianca in?

Come in, why don't you(?)

She's upstairs, mate. Did you want her?

Yeah, I'm the nugget fairy.

-You what?

-I'm doing a drop-off for Big Mo. Bag of nuggets.

-Bianca knows all about it.

-She's upstairs, mate. I was just taking this tea up to Carol.

Thing is, I got a stack of other deliveries

-and this layer's already getting soggy.

-How much?

These are a fiver. Apparently she owes a fiver for last week.

Not being funny, mate, but if she's going to feed the kids nuggets, she'll have to pay for 'em herself.

I'll just get her purse.

Bianca! Billy's here - the nugget fairy.

-Morgan, where's your mum keep her purse? In the drawer.

-Right.

Yay, chicken nuggets!

-You wouldn't be cheering if you knew what they put inside those things.

-Like what?

"Like what?" she says. Try looking it up.

How come you're here? Where's Mo?

-She got a big job lot on so she got me to split the round with her.

-Did she get any chips?

No, got some lovely fish fingers though, if they're any good to you?

How's your mum?

As well as can be expected.

Will you tell her that we're all thinking of her?

Oh, and I got message for you. Kat might be a little bit late

on the stall today on account of it being Alfie's 50th.

How does that make Kat late?

He's got the right hump about it, so Mo's arranged for him

-and Kat to have a little lie-in together, if you know what I mean.

-Mm!

Bianca - you got another couple of quid anywhere?

-Two ticks.

-No worries.

6, 7, 8.20... I've only got £8.20.

-Have you got any more?

-Yeah.

Stick that in your gob. We'll have to raid the electric jar.

It's there. Will you get it for me?

-Bianca, you really shouldn't be doing this.

-What?

-Feeding 'em that rubbish.

-They like it.

Where's that £50 I put in there?

How quickly do you think I spend £50 on these kids?

-Oh, leave it - I'll pay for it.

-Thank you.

-As normal.

You owe me.

Oh, blimey.

Where am I going to get a baby-sitter at this short notice?

-Are you all right?

-See you, Billy.

Here you are. How are we doing?

It's not necessarily going to be bad news, is it?

I just want to go.

We'll be early but if that's what you want...

-I look ridiculous.

-To me you will always look...

No. Don't, David, please.

I know you're trying to be kind, but don't...

I'll see you downstairs.

-Phil, we're going to be late.

-Two minutes.

If we don't get a move on, it's hardly going to be worth it.

DENNIS PLAYS NOISY GAME

-Oh, you are joking me.

-PHONE RINGS

-You were the one spent three hours in the bathroom.

-Don't answer that.

Hello.

Hang on a sec, will ya?

Dennis, do me a favour, turn that down?

-Did you get the letter I sent you?

-What letter?

The one with the articles of association.

-I forwarded it to you last week.

-Listen, can this wait?

I've promised Sharon I'd give the new bar a once-over.

-Is she with you now?

-Yeah, why?

-Might be better to take this in another room.

-Hang on.

-You go ahead. I'll catch you up.

-Why did I know this would happen?

Two minutes, all right? I'll catch you up.

Come on. Put it down. Let's go. Two minutes.

She's gone. What's the problem?

Here you go.

Do you want your present now or later?

Nan's worried about us.

That's why she's taken Tommy to nursery.

So me and you could have had a lie-in.

Are you not going to open them?

What do you want me to do?

I want you to go back to the police and tell 'em the truth.

-I can't do that.

-What is Alice - what is she? 20, 21?

By the time she gets out, she's going to be in her mid-30s.

How could you do that, Kat?

How could you do that to anyone?

Nan's offered to baby-sit tonight so you and me can go out.

I'll make some excuse up, shall I?

What, and tell a lie? Surely not.

I'll see you later.

-How about fish fingers?

-Mo, I run a high quality restaurant.

We don't have fish fingers on the menu.

I was thinking the caff. Nursery's bought some.

Well, they can poison their kids, but I'd like to keep my customers.

-Now go on, sling your hook.

-Cheers(!)

-Go on.

Well?

I don't want an abortion.

All right, who's going to look after it while you're at school?

These things don't feed themselves.

And who's going to pay for everything?

I'm going to be sick.

Don't think you're getting the day off either.

You are being really hard on her.

I can't send her back to her gran's while she's pregnant. What does that say about me?

What are you doing?

Looking up clinics. God knows how much that's going to cost.

-She can't go to school like this.

-Lucy, whose side are you on?

Shouting at her isn't going to get you anywhere. Just let me talk to her.

Well, whilst you're talking to her, find out who the father is, so I can send him the bill.

We'll be thinking of you, Mum.

-I've got a feeling everything's going to work out just fine.

-Did you sort out a baby-sitter?

Yeah, Lola's doing it. Phone us, yeah, soon as you hear anything.

Come on, are we going or not?

Good luck.

See you, girls.

How are you feeling?

Terrified. Ain't you?

Same.

It says in the plans "floorboards". This is laminate.

Take 'em back. Get 'em changed, please.

-Well, that was a long two minutes.

-Where's Dennis?

He's gone. We ran into some other mums and they took him.

-Are we going in or what?

-We can't. The floor's ripped out.

Looks a right tip, innit?

I was hoping for a bit of encouragement.

That was Ritchie on the phone. She's read the contract.

Our partnership agreement.

I know what you did, Sharon.

Phil!

We'll talk about this later.

You might have mentioned you were coming home. Where's your sister?

Did you not get my messages?

I've got stacks of messages.

So you don't know?

Has something happened to Ronnie?

She's all right now.

-What do you mean "now"?

-Can we just go back to the house?

-My arms are dropping off.

-Is she still in Ibiza, then?

We just need to get Amy to bed, don't we?

Because you're tired cos we had a six-hour delay.

So let's just... come on.

Get your bags. Let's go.

That way, Amy. Go.

OK? See you.

I'm really grateful for this, Lola.

Don't be. I really need the money.

Lexi's down to her last nappy and I ain't getting me benefits till Thursday.

-Where is she?

-Pops has got her now.

Right. I've left some tea and coffee out.

She ain't had no breakfast, so there's some food in the freezer.

-You gonna be all right?

-Just go.

Cheers. Tiff, I'll see you this afternoon, yeah?

If you need anything, phone me on my mobile. Don't let her take the mick.

See you.

So what are you up to?

Finding out what's in chicken nuggets.

-Any news on your mum?

-Still a long way to go.

Once you get to a certain age, you'd think it wouldn't matter.

-What wouldn't?

-Losing your bazookas.

-But tell that to Fat Elvis.

-Mo!

Oh, hello... I'll see you.

Ian, we must stop meeting like this.

-What did she want?

-Dropped off the fish fingers.

-What? Did you pay her?

-Yeah.

Stop sticking your nose in my business!

-Mo!

-Morning. Enjoy your little lie-in, did ya?

-Alfie enjoy his birthday treat?

-Who've you been talking to?

Or is he past all that now he's 50?

-Your sister's an idiot, you know that?

-Oi, you, don't talk to her like that.

It's all right. I can fight me own battles. What's the matter?

She's just bought a load of dodgy fish fingers off her nan with my money.

My sister might not be able to concentrate on account

of my mum going to hospital to get her test results today, all right?

I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Present for you.

Since when did I read stuff like this?

It's only a bit of fun.

I thought you might like it.

Weddings aren't a marriage.

Very few people seem to realise that.

Well, that was a fiver down the Swanee.

-You don't fancy a Jane Austen-themed wedding, then?

-No.

What about 1950s?

I could have a drape coat and a big quiff.

You could have petticoats and a little ponytail. What do you reckon?

Like I'm going to be able to have a ponytail any time soon.

It would give you something to look forward to.

That's all I'm thinking.

Right now I can't think further ahead than the next 15 minutes.

It's Max. Wants to know where I am.

I forgot to let him know.

Carol?

-Is it all right if my friend sits in with me?

-Yes, of course.

I'm her fiance, actually. David Wicks.

-Sian. Take a seat.

-Thanks.

Well?

It's not good news, I'm afraid.

Right now it's not even a baby - it's a foetus.

It's about that big.

-It'll be over really, really quick.

-How do you know?

-How do you think I know?

-Really?

Why?

Because I knew I couldn't cope.

And before you ask, it wasn't Dad's decision - it was mine.

You know what having a baby means?

While your friends are out having fun, you're going to be stuck in, changing nappies and stuff.

Babies don't take care of themselves.

They need food and they need clothing.

And they cost a lot of money.

I'm not you, though.

And I'm keeping it.

Are you going to tell us what's going on or what?

We got deported.

-Well, Ronnie did.

-What?

Not officially, but it was either leave the island or the cops were going to press charges.

What charges?

The first three weeks, she barely gets out of bed at all.

Amy's absolutely petrified of her.

So there's me, sitting on a beach - a cold beach - all day,

every day with a five-year-old, building sodding sand castles.

I thought I was going out of my mind.

So I said to her, "Ron, I want to go home," and she freaks out.

"What are you talking about? This is your home."

-And I'm like what?

-What were the charges?

-That was only Friday. Friday. I've had two months of this.

-Just get to the point, will ya?

So, Friday night I sort out a baby-sitter

and I get her out for a drink.

What?

We ended up in this bar, right, on the harbour.

She's been in a filthy mood all night

and this guy gets chatting to her.

Local. Perfectly pleasant bloke, right?

All of a sudden she starts screaming her head off like she's totally lost it.

She picks up a tequila bottle, she smashes it on the bar

and she shoves it right up into his face.

-Why?

-Because she says he touched her up. But I was there.

I saw it. He put his arm round her - that's all he did - and she goes nuts.

Anyway, it turns out this guy is an off-duty cop.

Next thing, she's in handcuffs

and she's being dragged down the station.

-Then what?

-All right, but get this - next morning,

me and Amy are waiting outside the station for her.

She comes out with a massive grin on her face like nothing's happened.

Anyway, she said the cops are leaning on her

so we've got to go home. And we did.

-And where is she now?

-Said she had things to do.

-What things?

-I don't know. I don't care, Phil. I've had it with her.

I have. All right. If I never see her again, it'll be too soon.

DOORBELL RINGS

That'll be Ritchie.

Let her in, Rox, will ya?

Phil, we're having a conversation here!

Yeah, and I need a quick chat with Sharon.

So what's Ritchie doing here?

Let's stop the pretending, shall we, Sharon?

So everybody on here has to be tested as well?

Your children and your siblings first,

and if they prove positive, then their children too.

But it's entirely up to them.

And again, I must emphasise at every stage,

-there's only a 50% chance.

-Why do the men have to tested?

Because they can get breast cancer as well, David. I explained that.

Along with an increased risk of prostate cancer.

So do I have to tell them?

We can offer support, but, yes, I'm afraid so.

Well, that's something to look forward to, ain't it.

And my other breast?

As I say, there's a significant risk of another tumour.

So that's a double mastectomy now?

You don't have to make a decision about that today.

-And my ovaries?

-You can of course elect for regular screenings but in my experience...

What about my daughters? Do they have to go through the same thing?

Only if they prove positive. Then they can discuss the options.

Just admit it. You were trying to stitch me up.

I thought I was being practical.

-By naming yourself as sole director? Do me a favour.

-Phil, please.

If you fall out over this now, it doesn't bode well for the future.

You both want to make a success of this business, I assume?

-Well, let's just agree that it was an honest mistake on Sharon's part.

-Thank you.

Phil's asked me to have the articles redrawn,

naming you both as company directors.

I assume you're happy with that, Sharon?

If you'd like to sign where I've marked in pencil.

-OK.

-Where are you going?

Someone's messed up with the flooring. I need to sort it out.

Or should we convene a company board meeting first?

-You don't trust her, do you?

-No.

So why, then?

That's my business.

So long as you know what you're doing.

PHONE RINGS

-All right?

-I've been trying to phone her. Just keeps going to voice mail.

So much for never wanting to see her again.

-I'll send you a beautiful bouquet.

-Nice try!

All right.

Please, let me.

-OK?

-Yeah. OK.

It's changed, ain't it? Where's all the filthy ashtrays gone?

And I used to love that jukebox over there. Shame, ain't it?

-Not now, David.

-Here. Eat something.

-I don't want it.

How am I going to tell them?

That's what we're here to talk about.

You all right?

I need to go to the loo. Sorry.

So she hasn't eaten anything?

If you knew what was in them nuggets, trust me, you wouldn't either.

So the temperature's gone. What's the matter with nuggets, all of a sudden?

I didn't know what was in 'em before.

Right, Bianca, I'm off. If I could just grab my money.

She's always loved nuggets. What have you said to her?

Nothing. I swear. Can I just have my money, please?

I've got a tenner's worth of 'em that I'm not gonna eat now. So you can have that as payment.

-Nuggets ain't gonna buy me nappies!

-Whatever, Lola.

I've just spoke to Tiff.

She looked it up on the internet.

-Go after her.

-I will, OK. I will.

In a minute. She's still not picking up.

I'm gonna have to phone my dad's phone.

PHONE RINGS

Hello, darling.

-Is my mum still with you?

-Um, she's nipped to the loo, sweetheart.

-We've stopped for a coffee on our way home.

-Only she said she'd phone.

Me and Sonia are doing our nuts here.

Well, she's shaken up a bit, but she's fine.

Nothing to worry about.

What, like, NOTHING to worry about?

I promise, darling. I'll tell you all about it when we get back.

Thanks, Dad. That's great news! See you later.

Ta-ta, darling.

Was that Bianca?

He said it's nothing to worry about!

Hello? Roxy?

Hi!

Where've you been?

Oh, well, I had some things to do, and...

Aleks, is it?

Aleks here, this is Aleks, everyone - he very kindly helped me with my bags.

Sorry, do I know you?

Should you?

Are you sisters?

Yeah, we're sisters.

Let me give you something for your troubles...

-No, no, no.

-Are you sure?

-My pleasure.

Thanks. See ya.

I know you're angry with me and I don't blame you.

New outfit? Suits you.

Thank you, Phil.

So what have you been doing all this time?

I've been buying the gym.

Any joy?

I've tried. I don't know what else I to say.

Did she say anything about who the father is?

No, she's playing dumb.

Right, I get it.

You want to keep the baby but you don't want to say who the father is. That's fine.

Cindy, I've tried to help you.

If you don't want that, that's OK with me.

But you're not going to carry on living under my roof.

Cos you are not my responsibility. All right?

So get yourself upstairs, pack your bags, get on the tube to Paddington,

go to the ticket office and book yourself a single to Plymouth. Do you understand?

Make me.

-OK, who's ready for their presents?

-Me!

This one is for... Uncle Phil.

That is the one you like, isn't it?

Yeah, thanks. Listen, I'm going to pop out for a bit. Something I need to do.

And this one's for Sharon...

Oh and Amy, look what I've got for you...

-It used to be my favourite when I was little.

-Thank you.

-You're welcome.

-Since when did I wear crimson lipstick?

-I thought you should try experimenting.

Roxy...

This one's for your mummy, and it comes with a big sorry.

I hope you like it.

And - did you think I'd forgotten you, Denny?

No. I got you this.

Is that the right game for your machine?

-Yeah, thanks!

-Let me see.

Denny doesn't like violent games.

It's not exactly violent. It's more like Tom and Jerry.

And I'm telling you he don't like violent games.

Don't worry, darling, Ronnie can take this back

and we'll get you something else.

Did you keep the receipt?

Amy - shall we go upstairs and read your book on our own?

Yeah? Come on.

DOOR SLAMS

Are you not going to open it?

Think this is going to make me feel better?

-I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

-Yes, you do.

What do you think's going to happen when Carol finds out?

Didn't you get a card from Spencer and Vicky? The one with the Australian stamp on it?

Yeah, it was just some advertising rubbish - I chucked it.

That's it. Quick, quick, quick, go on, go on.

Yes!

Roxy told us all about you being arrested.

Said you went completely nuts.

-Come on!

-Don't you think he should be upstairs?

Stop changing the subject.

This guy had his hands all over me.

According to Roxy, he just put his arm round you.

She didn't see everything he did and she didn't hear what he said.

Turning into quite a habit, isn't it? Your violent impulses.

I know about Carl.

There's no point trying to deny it.

Phil's told me the whole story.

GAME BEEPS LOUDLY

-Yes!

-Well?

-Come on, come on!

-Can he stop making that noise! It's actually driving me mad!

We've got evidence.

Recognise this?

I'm not having my son live with a psychopath.

So either you go or I do.

It's just if I go, I'll be taking this with me

and giving it straight to the police.

So what's it going to be?