18/01/2016 EastEnders

Nope. Still going straight to answerphone.

Why are you even bothering, after the way he spoke to us?

It's not like he's never gone Awol before.

Yeah, but where was he before?

This has nothing to do with Gavin.

Any minute now he's going to bowl in with a pint of milk,

bacon sarnie and the hangover from hell.

-Hi.

-Morning.

Look, I need to get in and pick up the rest of Denny's things.

-He's coming out of hospital today.

-Oh, great. That's good news.

Um... Oh, the school phoned earlier asking after him. And the spider.

The spider's the least of my worries.

Sharon, is there any word from Phil? No-one's seen him since last week.

Well, you know Phil. Probably drunk in a gutter somewhere, isn't he?

TEXT MESSAGE ALERT

It's difficult.

The first time you lay out someone you care for.

He was... He was more than just me father-in-law, Les.

It's the final act of love you can show Mr Slater.

Giving him a good sendoff.

Eels.

Now, I didn't gut them cos I know how much you love doing it.

Second only to hearing lobsters scream when you boil them.

Oi, Babe, um...

Let me know if you need any help with the funeral buffet.

Me and Tam are happy to help.

Might need a bit of salt or something.

Thanks, but this crowd will be traditionalists.

Oh, right. Oi, that was Mum and Dad. They're staying another week.

Said something about Johnny, Gianluca and skiing

but I couldn't quite hear over all the fun they're having.

-Oh, great.

-Is it? You've got a lot on your plate at the moment.

-No. I'm fine.

-To be fair, if anyone deserves a break it's them two.

Maybe this would be a good time for Nancy to have a go.

-What?

-Be good to get a bit of practice in.

Decide if the pub game's really for you.

-Oh, no, I don't...

-Oh, what, did you plan this?

What? No.

-Yeah, but it kind of makes sense though, doesn't it?

-What?

Well, we could spend a bit more time with Jade, couldn't we?

What? Is anyone actually going to ask me what I want to do?

-What are you saying? That I don't spend enough time with Jade?

-No? OK.

Not at all.

All I'm saying is, we could focus on the girl a bit more. That's all.

I didn't mean to rock the boat. I was just trying to help.

-Shirl, where you going?

-For a fag!

Oi, hold up! I thought you was meant to be quitting?

Louise?

Do you remember me?

No-one could forget those boots. Hello, Shirley.

Alfie!

You all right, babe?

Martin's taking Lily to school.

He asked if you'd cover for him on the stall but I said I'd do it.

Whoa, no, you're not. No, no. Tomorrow's your dad's funeral.

-I don't mind doing it.

-No, you can't. No, not in your condition.

Sweetheart, please stop worrying. I'm fine.

But if you don't want me to, I won't.

I'm not bothered either way, OK?

But listen, this week it's all about you, all right? No-one else.

I love ya.

I love you.

All right, then.

You all right, Jane?

All right, Shirley? Everything all right?

What's this, Shirley? Taken in another stray?

You want to be careful.

People might start thinking you've got a heart.

This is Louise.

Louise?

What, Phil's daughter Louise?

Tell them what you told me about Phil.

-He's in the hospital.

-What?

And how do you know that?

He turned up at my school. Wanted to see me.

He was, like, totally off his face and kept trying to give me

this bag of money.

Then he collapsed. It was embarrassing.

I called an ambulance.

And what did they say, the hospital?

It's not good.

What do you mean?

I dunno exactly. The doctor said it was his liver. It's all...

messed up and he has to stop drinking right away otherwise...

Well, you know.

You need to go and see him.

No, I don't.

Sharon, you're his wife.

You're Sharon? Dad mentioned you.

Not what I pictured.

Phil spun a similar story last week to get me to stay.

He's obviously paid her to do the same.

No, he never!

I came here cos I thought Dad's family would care that he's

seriously ill. But I've obviously wasted my time.

No, you haven't. We'll look into it.

You all look into it.

And I hope you all feel properly bad

when you see that I'm telling the truth.

Oh, and by the way, I never took the money neither.

Though I could've done.

What, are you looking for something?

I need to find a gift for Uncle Charlie.

Oh, what, to put in his coffin? Yeah, that's a nice idea.

Yeah, and Uncle Charlie can give the gift to God.

He's more likely to give us a message if we give him a gift.

So Uncle Charlie can give him the gift and then he'll tell us

-where to go, what to do next, where's safe.

-Right.

DOOR BUZZES

Yeah, your nan's on her way up.

Stacey all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's, um... she's good.

She actually wants to put, um... something inside Charlie's coffin.

-If that's all right?

-Yeah, I think that's brilliant.

Maybe you should think about doing the same thing, eh?

What do you think? It's Lily's. Well, it used to be. I thought,

if we give it to Uncle Charlie then he...

Then he'll have something to remember you by, won't he?

It's got a monobrow. No, it's lovely.

-It's nice. Yeah.

-Good. All right. Where's the, er...

the...the carpet cleaner thing? The...

Look, Stace.

Listen, if you want to go out later, I thought we could go shopping.

Yeah? I didn't think of packing anything for a funeral

-when I left.

-Yeah. We can, erm, we can go...go shopping.

Arthur could do...

-DOOR BUZZES

-I'll go get it.

Listen, I'm... I'm not sure that shopping's the best idea.

No, no. I think it's a great idea.

You know, get them both going shopping.

Do them the world of good, eh?

What is it?

There's something you need to do, Kat.

He told me he was ill.

I don't believe a word that comes out of that man's mouth.

Well, you should go see him in the hospital, at least.

He won't be there. I know what he's like.

And using Louise to get to me is exactly his style.

Yeah, well, look. I've been there too, remember.

And I know that dealing with Phil when he's like this is awful.

But could you ever forgive yourself if he really is ill,

-and you don't do anything?

-I'm going to pick up Denny.

The hospital Phil's allegedly in is across the other side of London.

He can wait. He's not exactly going anywhere, is he?

No, he's not. He's lying in a hospital bed cos Phil put him there.

Sharon...

No. No, if...if he is ill,

then he's only brought it on himself. No, you two go.

Because I couldn't care less.

You want me to go and look at my dad's dead body?

It's morbid.

You need to say goodbye.

Yeah, I can do that tomorrow.

That's what tomorrow's for.

To say goodbye properly, isn't it?

Look, Kat,

there's no easy way to say this... but the girls

have been talking and...

They don't want me there, do they?

Would you guys just...just give me and Kat a moment, please?

Do you mind?

It's all right, Alfie. They're right.

-They're right to not want me there.

-No, they're not.

No, they are. Tomorrow is about giving Dad a proper sendoff.

And if I'm there, it'll just go wrong, it always does.

-Don't say that.

-No. It's true.

-It's not.

-No, it is. You know it is.

It would break his heart if you weren't there to say goodbye.

You're his little girl.

Exactly.

That's why the best thing for me to do is to just stay away.

We were going to go to Spain but it's too soon for him to fly,

so we're going to stay in a cottage over here.

Just the two of us.

He deserves it after everything he's been through.

Well, send him our love. Yeah?

Yeah, will do.

Not gone to see your husband in hospital, then?

I'm not really a fan of the wild goose chase.

You think you've got it all worked out.

I've known your dad long enough to know when he's playing games.

Do you always think the worst of him?

You would, too, if you'd dealt with what I have.

I wonder what it feels like when someone you say you love dies,

and you've done nothing to help them?

You'll have to let me know.

I want to talk to Shirley about the flowers that Kat

ordered for the wake. Is she around?

Oh, you can talk to Nancy about it.

-I'll tell Shirley that you called, Pam.

-Thank you.

Pam! Pam! Come join us.

Erm, I can't, I'm afraid. Lots to do.

Never too busy for food.

First batch done for the wake and I need some taste testers.

-I really should...

-Come on, Pam,

we could do with your opinion.

Alfie and Kat have really pushed out the boat for tomorrow, ain't they?

-Just...just a small mouthful.

-Come on!

Yeah, it looks good, man, but that ain't really my thing.

I had a terrible experience in Clacton once with jellied eels.

Chew them properly and you'll be fine.

Les has a very sensitive gag reflex.

Shut your whining and get them down your neck.

Oh, Babe. That's blinding.

Delicious!

Mmmm... Not bad. Not bad at all.

This is going to be repeating on me all day.

Charlie would be well chuffed.

Aw. You all speak about him so highly.

Charlie was a good man.

It must be nice to be missed.

If I went now, I reckon it'd take this lot weeks to notice.

And even then it would only be

cos they were losing out on the lunchtime trade.

Oh, that's not true.

I've done a fair few funerals like that. Not a soul there. Tragic.

Come on, Babe. That ain't going to happen to you at all.

You've got a lot of friends around here, you can be sure of that.

Yeah, man.

What if they won't tell us anything?

It's a hospital, not MI5.

Yeah, but they might only talk to family.

Well, I think you and I have earned the family label, don't you?

What's his date of birth?

20th January.

No. I know that. What year?

Well, Ben was born in '96 and I think Phil was 34, so...

what's that? That would be '62.

No.

No, he proposed to me just after his 50th birthday

so that would make it...

'61. He was born in 1961.

Yeah. That was, erm, Jean.

Her and Ollie are going to come down for the funeral tomorrow.

So... Just going to let Stacey know.

I thought you'd found the gift?

Yeah, Kat needs a dress for the funeral.

She says she needs a dress.

Says dry clean only. Dry clean.

It's clean. It's clean...

Look, Stace, erm... Kat ain't coming to the funeral now.

Yeah, she is.

It says 75% polyester.

-No, she's not.

-Yes, she is! She has to go.

Uncle Charlie is going home and we all have to be there.

Otherwise we won't get the message and...

We need to have the message otherwise we won't know where to go.

-We have to... I have to have the message.

-Fine.

I haven't got any cleaning stuff. I... I need...

I need to get the cleaning stuff.

No, wait, wait. It's all right. Stace, stay here. Erm, you...

you wait for your message. Make sure you get that and I'll...

I'll go and get your cleaning stuff. Yeah?

Yeah, OK. Yeah.

And the bed, it was just covered in money.

It was like something out of a film.

It's easy to forget the good times, though, isn't it?

Yeah, it is with Phil.

-Well?

-It's the right place.

What are you waiting for, then?

He discharged himself this morning from the hepatology ward,

against doctor's orders.

Hepatology? What's that?

It's where they treat the liver. Louise was telling the truth.

That's lovely. Cheers.

-Hey.

-You all right, mate?

I, uh... Well, me and Shabs,

we wondered if you and Stace fancied coming over for dinner this week?

We could, you know... catch up and stuff.

Yeah, mate. No, that's lovely. Yeah, it really is. It's just...

probably just not the best timing, you know.

What with the funeral and everything.

LOUISE: Hi, Mum. You all right?

Well, maybe next week then, yeah?

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe.

Yeah, good. I'm just going into double science now.

Yeah.

Well, if you knew I wasn't at school, why ask me, then, Mum?

-Oh!

-Are you going to order anything else?

If not, I think it's time you probably left.

What, you going to pay or what?

It's on Ian.

Uh, yeah, I doubt that very much.

Fine. If Ian won't cover it, ask Sharon. She owes me one.

Sorry, who are you?

Louise Mitchell.

Louise Mitchell? Blimey. I haven't seen her since she was a baby.

There was this massive thing, right, about who her dad was...

Yeah, well, that's great. But the cheeky cow ain't paid for her food.

Was she here to see Martin?

I dunno.

Is he all right?

Was Louise was with you?

What? Erm...no.

You OK?

Yeah. Yeah, fine, great. You know what it's like.

You know, new baby and all that.

Can't really remember. How's Stacey coping?

Yeah. Yeah, fine. Great...

Just a normal new mum.

You always do that.

What?

That scrunchy thing with your mouth when you're lying.

What do you want me to say, Sonia? That it's hard?

It's hard and exhausting and Stacey's struggling?

-Is that what you want me to say?

-No, course I don't.

I think you just need to make sure you're supporting her.

Right? Make sure she's eating properly, sleeping properly.

Maybe you should take her to the doctor's.

You know what, I am. I am supporting her.

And she doesn't need to go and see a doctor. She's fine.

We're both fine.

Ben!

It's your dad.

He's not here.

Well, where else could he be?

Maybe this is it. He's run out of chances.

No. I've seen Phil hit rock bottom before,

and he's always come back from there.

Then we just have to wait and see if he comes home.

Look, I'll call Denny's hospital, tell them there's been a delay.

PHONE RINGS

It's Ben. What should I say?

Nothing. Don't worry him.

Ben?

What? No, I...

I'll be right there.

They've found him. Don't look good.

There you go.

What's this?

They're for you. For Uncle Charlie. You have to try them on.

-Come on. Get up, try them on.

-I'm not going, Stace.

Yes, you are.

No, I'm not. They're right not to want me there. I just...

It just follows me round like a bad smell. All this chaos.

Mess.

You are going. You... You... You have to go, Kat.

You have to give him his gifts. You have to say goodbye.

You have to watch him go home.

You have to go, either today or tomorrow. You have to go.

You think so?

Yes. Yes!

I would do anything to see my dad one more time.

And you can. You can see yours.

Not everyone gets that chance, Kat. You have to use it.

Oh, yeah, that's the one. That's the one, yeah.

That's the one.

Phil.

No-one's talking to you.

One drink. That's all I want.

I'm sorry, but you're drunk and I can't serve you.

You heard the girl.

Come on, Phil. I think it's time for you to leave, eh?

Lee, leave it, man. I've got this. It's fine.

Oh, you think you're the big man, do you?

Eh? The big soldier man? Nah. Nah.

You... You're nothing but a little boy.

Here, listen, everyone.

There's a little boy here who thinks he can talk to the man who

pays his wages like a piece of dirt.

Hold up, Sharon pays my wages,

-not you.

-Nah, nah, nah. I'm in charge. I pay your wages. And you...

you're fired.

Yeah, well, you can shove your job, mate, all right?

Phil!

Oh, here they are, Charlie's Angels!

-More like the Golden Girls.

-Go home, Phil.

Not until she gives me a drink.

-That's not going to happen, is it? So...

-You've had enough.

You're embarrassing yourself.

No. I'm embarrassing you. Which is all you care about.

Phil, let's just get you home, eh?

You don't really want your son seeing you like this, do you?

Well, I'm sure he's man enough to take it.

On second thoughts, maybe not.

That's enough.

How the mighty have fallen.

Get out of it. What you... Hey!

-Mum!

-It's all right. I'm OK.

It was an accident, all right?

Billy, get some tissues.

Look what you've done!

-Whoops!

-You just don't care, do you?

You heard her. It was an accident.

Say sorry, then!

Oh. Go on, then. Go on.

I wouldn't ruin my manicure. You know, I pity you.

Enjoy this moment cos it's the last time anyone's going to help you.

I don't need your help. None of you.

You should have served him, Nancy.

Drink yourself to death, for all I care.

When the time comes, I'll gladly pour the final shot.

Why do you do it, eh, Phil? Abuse yourself like this?

We're burying a decent bloke tomorrow who ain't done half

the things you've done to yourself. It ain't fair.

All right, come on.

Shirl.

How many times do I have to knock you back before you get the message?

Eh?!

All right, we'll do it your way. Jay.

Oi, oi! Game on!

It's all right, the show's over!

I should've stopped him.

Look, he didn't do it on purpose.

Why are you defending him?

He's an alcoholic, Ben.

That doesn't change the fact that he punched you in the face

and then laughed about it. He's disgusting.

I'm going to go home, OK?

Why don't you stay here, calm down?

I'll speak to Ian, see if you can stay with us for a few days.

Keep you out of your dad's way. All right?

I heard you, er... you talking to Kat earlier.

She seems a lot happier.

Yeah, did you hear that, Arthur? You did a great job.

Arthur told me exactly what to say to Kat and it worked!

I knew it would. I knew.

I knew he had it in him. I told you, didn't I?

I told you he was special. He's chosen, ain't ya?

And when Uncle Charlie gives God our gifts then we'll see how

special he really is!

Yeah...

The state of my mum's face.

That man will never change. He's poison.

I've wasted enough time on men like him. But not any more.

It's just me and Denny from now on.

Well, it pains me to say this... but you love him.

And when you love someone, you'll do anything for them.

Look at us and Bobby.

Oh, and that's worked out really well, hasn't it?

Look, I'm sorry, Ian, but the sooner Bobby goes to boarding school,

the better.

I've seen what lying's done to you.

I don't want that for myself.

Yeah, but Phil's not lying about being in hospital, is he?

Maybe not, but I can't trust him.

And I don't want Denny growing up thinking that's normal.

Sharon, if anyone deserves better, it's you.

OK? Someone who cares for you.

Someone who'll support you and Denny

and put you both first in their life.

I know it don't seem like it, but there is someone out there.

Come on.

It's quite sad, really, isn't it?

More like pathetic.

Yeah, it is!

So, how...how are things with Pam?

Well, you saw her earlier. She can barely look at me.

Then do something about it.

I'm trying to give her some space.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Forget that.

Look at Charlie.

We can go at any time,

we shouldn't let the things we want slip through our fingers.

If you want Pam back, go for it. Yeah, man.

Chase that romance.

You sound like you've got someone in your sights.

A gentleman never tells.

But I might be the one asking you for advice, though.

Oh...

I'd have thought you'd have laid Phil out, Lee.

Yeah. Well, he delivered the fatal blow before I had the chance to do

anything. He sacked me.

Lee didn't need to get involved. Nancy had it all under control.

You think?

Real leadership, you showed there.

Alcoholics. Occupational hazard in this line of work.

Here, Nance, I've been thinking.

I was a bit quick in saying no earlier on about anybody else

being in charge of the Vic.

I think you should have a go.

Oh, what, just me? Nah.

Er, hold on. I'm the one that's lost my job.

And we both did the licensee course.

Yeah, but it's not really your thing though, is it? Whereas Nancy...

-Well, she's a natural...

-I dunno.

Me and Tam sort of agreed to focus on the food thing.

But you were born to do this.

She's right.

And Buster and I could take Jade back to the flat if you said yes.

-I, uh...

-Look, all I have to do is put this up to say that

you're in charge of the Vic until your mum and dad get home.

That's if you want to.

All right, it don't really look like I've got much of a choice, does it?

Fine.

You can open it later.

Are we going home now?

No, darling.

We're going to stay in a nice little cottage until you're better.

Just us?

Dad, it's me. We're on our way.

Son!

You were right. Earlier. Um...

I wasn't being honest with you about Stace.

Why? Has something happened?

I think, um... Look, I think she might be really...

Martin.

Stace, what are you doing out here?

I think...I think I've given Kat the wrong toy.

-It's the wrong gift.

-All right.

He has to have the right gift.

God needs to have the right gift, otherwise something bad's

going to happen tomorrow!

OK. Well, listen, let's get you back in the house, yeah?

And...and I'll take this, OK?

OK. OK.

A gift for God? Stacey's not very well, is she?

She thinks, um...

She thinks Arthur's the son of God.

I'm going to stay over here, Dad, cos, erm...

if I look at you, I don't think I can look away.

I love you.

I never said it enough. But I hope you know.

Knew...just how much...

I'm going to show you how much.

I want to make you proud, Dad.

Doesn't matter what anyone says...

..I will be at the funeral for you tomorrow.