21/03/2016 EastEnders

Excited?

Yeah. And nervous.

Don't be.

These home visits are meant to be something to look forward to.

I've been looking forward to it since Martin came back

but I didn't really fancy spending it with my mum in Brighton.

I just can't wait for it to be normal,

even if it's only for a couple of hours.

Well, if today goes well, then perhaps next time,

you'll want an overnight visit.

Or be home for Easter.

SNORING

BUSTER EXHALES

I used to share a cell with a bloke who snored like that.

I told him about it - threatened to slit my throat from ear to ear.

Ugly geezer.

Could be his double.

I'm a tolerant bloke, Shirl, but I do have me limits.

I'm off to work.

SNORING

Get rid, eh?

SNORING

-Got enough nappies?

-Yeah, I think so.

We're going to go home and see Lily.

Yeah! You'd love that, wouldn't you? THEY CHORTLE

Don't forget, if you start to feel unwell, we're right here.

-Morning.

-You're here!

-Of course I am.

Here's little man. How did he sleep?

-Yeah, better.

-Yeah?

-You all set?

-Yeah, can't wait.

I'll leave you to it.

Have a lovely time, Stacey. I'll see you later.

Thank you.

Right, I'm ready.

I don't want you to worry about me.

You've got enough on your plate. I'm not going anywhere.

Thank you.

All right, little man. Let's get you strapped in and then get going, yeah?

Here's your car seat. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Does, er...does everyone know about Kush?

Yeah.

But we'll face them together, yeah?

-You're never buying another one, are you?

-Oh, I wrote the wrong thing.

Oh, hello. I wasn't expecting to see you today.

-Thought I'd spend the day giving Kush a hand.

-Oh, yeah?

Didn't you say that Stacey was on a home visit today?

Mmm. I'm worried if he sees her, he'll...

To be honest, I don't know what he'll do.

He's pretending he wants nothing to do with Arthur.

Well, maybe it's not pretence.

I know my son.

-It's just such a mess.

-Yeah.

I can't sleep for worrying about it but he won't listen to me.

Anyway, how are you? How you coping with JJ?

Oh! Adjusting.

Right. I think that's the one.

-Is that for Ian?

-No, Ben. He's 20.

Oh! I bet it feels like only ten minutes since he was ten.

It does with my boys.

Actually, no. It seems a lifetime ago he was ten.

That's the problem.

All right? These came for you, so I thought I'd bring them round.

Should have kept them at home. I'll only get oil on them.

Well, I thought you'd want to open them, put them up in here.

Ain't it bad enough you've got me wearing this stupid badge?

Well, you liked it. You said it was sweet.

Oh, and Sharon's given you both the afternoon off -

because I'm throwing you a party.

I'd rather not.

Well, it's happening.

I've taken the day off so we can spend it together.

Come on - just family and friends. Food, drinks in the Vic.

3.00pm.

Shush, shush - that's ours!

RADIO: 'That was Girls by The 1975,

'especially for Ben Mitchell, who's 20 today.

'Happy Birthday, Ben and that's from Jan.'

Jan!

How does a Y look like an N?

SHE LAUGHS

Oh, that's really kind of you.

See, everyone's making the effort for your birthday, Ben.

The cars will still be here tomorrow.

-Yeah, I suppose, I suppose.

-All right, cool.

Well, I'll iron your black shirt,

cos it'll go nice with your new shoes.

-See you later.

-See you later.

-See you.

You're right, mate. It's a really sweet badge.

Shut up. Jan!

HE SNORES

Come on, Philip.

Wakey, wakey.

HE SNORES

HE GRUNTS

Come on, Stace. Let's get you inside.

It's all behind you now, yeah?

Don't you want to see him? We could nip over.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure that'll go down well, won't it?

-Just forget it.

-But...

-I said forget it!

You stink of booze.

So?

If you don't like it, go back to Essex.

-I didn't ask for your help, did I?

-Kush, please.

Just...I've got a headache.

OK. Well, there is some post there

but you can look at that later, can't you?

Come on, mate, let's get you down.

Um...

I know you wouldn't want a fuss, but...

It's just so nice to have you home, you know. Even if it is just for a couple of hours.

You all right, Stace?

Sorry. Um...

Uncle Charlie.

Right. Er, yeah.

It's...it's OK.

Come on, you.

Awwww!

-Aw, thank you.

-It's all right.

-It's so nice to be home.

Oh! Come on. Come and see Mummy, give Mummy a cuddle.

Come on, then.

Er, I probably should tell you something actually, Stace.

What?

I'm only going to tell you because you're going to find out anyway from someone else.

But, um...Ryan turned up, tried to take Lily.

What? When? Why didn't anyone tell me?

I didn't tell you cos I didn't want you to get panicked. It's all sorted now. It's fine.

He's handed himself in to the police and he's in custody.

-Did it upset Lily?

-No. No, she was fine.

Martin, you should have told me. I'm not made of glass.

Well, I suppose it's good that he's in custody.

You sit yourself down. I'll get a cup of tea.

Oh, I won't get a cup of tea, um...

I actually forgot to get some milk.

It's all right - you can go.

-Yeah?

-Yeah, go on. I'll see you in a minute.

-Right.

Oh, I forgot. Shrimpy's covering the stall today.

What for?

Well, Martin's got Stacey all day and er...it's Ben's birthday.

Yeah, I know. We're going to the Vic at three o'clock.

How long is it going to take?

I mean, it's only a drink and a bit of cake.

Look, it's his first birthday in a long time, Ian.

For me, I mean.

-Yeah, course.

-I didn't even know what to get him.

I don't really know what he needs or what he's got.

Mum! Mummy, Mum.

Look, you being here, all right, is enough for him.

-It is for me.

-Hmm!

DOORBELL What is that - eh?

That noise?

I think Daddy has locked himself out.

Hmm?

He has.

Stacey. I didn't think you were here.

-Why are you doing here? Get out!

-I don't want to upset you.

-Oi! What are you doing here?

-Just get away from her!

-I only wanted to...

-Just get out!

I don't want to see you again. Don't come back here.

DOOR SLAMS

-You all right?

-What is he doing here? What does he want?

He come the other day. Dropped that box off.

-What's in it?

-A letter. Baby stuff, old photos.

He says it's mainly you and Sean.

I don't want it. Get rid of it!

I don't want anything to do with him!

It's OK. It's all right. I'm here now. Yeah? I'm here.

Nancy, could you get some more nuts from the barrel store?

These won't last a day out.

Sorry, why can't you go?

Cos it's dusty in there and I'll get filthy, won't I?

Sorry, yeah.

Yes, Shirley. What can I get you?

Well, it's more about what I can get you.

I'm not in the market for knock-offs.

Oh, you'll like this one.

Bald, mid-fifties, answers to the name Phil.

Like I say, no knock-offs.

Come on, Sharon. He's taken over my spare room.

You took him in? What did you do that for?

Well, from what I heard, some tart with big hair

chucked him out and changed all the locks.

Well, he's not my responsibility any more. He's filed for divorce.

And why would you want to get rid of him, anyway?

Couple of years ago, you'd have killed to keep him. Almost did.

Well, Buster's not very happy about the situation.

Well, you should wash your hands of him.

-He's brought it on himself.

-I don't like to see him like this.

Careful, Shirley. People might start thinking you've got a heart.

Oh, and you can remind him - it's his son's birthday today, OK?

-All right?

-No.

How's Ollie?

I'm just going down to the hospital now.

They're talking about discharging him tomorrow.

Oh, that's great. Linda must be relieved.

Yeah, we both are.

Nance! I bet you're happy your brother's coming home.

They're discharging him?

Yeah, tomorrow.

You didn't know?

No.

This is all I want. You, Arthur and Lil.

That's good, cos we can't afford anything else!

About Kush...

I...I just...I don't really want to talk about him today.

Why don't we get fish and chips for lunch?

With peas?

Yeah, we can have peas. We'll stretch to that.

Three of us - we'll go down there together, yeah?

I don't...I don't think I'm ready for that.

DOORBELL

-He's come back!

-It's all right.

Who's that?

Oh, all right. Come up.

DOOR BUZZER

It's all right. It's only Bex and Son.

-Oh.

-They'll just, you know, pop in, quick visit.

-That's all right. Be nice to see them.

-Yeah, all right.

-Hello!

-Hello. How come you're not at school today?

-It's the holidays at Walford High.

-That's handy, innit?

Hi. Welcome home.

All right. Don't get up - I'll stick the kettle on.

-He's grown a lot, ain't he?

-Yeah.

He's your little brother.

Where did you get that?

-The cupboard.

-Buster got that for Christmas.

HE LAUGHS

Sums him up, don't it?

Gets a bottle for Christmas and it's still unopened at Easter.

-Where you been?

-Finding you a place.

-Ronnie and Sharon don't want you back.

-Well, there's a surprise.

Come sit here. Come on, I won't bite.

If you did, I'd knock yer teeth out.

I woke up all wet this morning.

You been up to your old tricks again?

I don't know what you mean.

That time you pushed me in the bath

and then turned on the shower and I...I pulled you in.

Remember that? Where was that?

Eastbourne.

Dirty weekend.

Does he take you on dirty weekends?

Old Fishy Fred?

Nah, course he don't. Because he...

..he don't appreciate what he's got.

Why don't you give me that?

You trying to take it away from me or do you fancy a drink yourself, eh?

HE LAUGHS

Go on, Shirl. Have a little drink with me.

One drink.

Then I want you gone.

Tastes good, don't it?

Forbidden fruit.

HE LAUGHS

She's got a fancy box of assortments, your gran.

You know, the type they put on the top shelf

along with the dirty mags.

How do you mean?

You never know whether you're going to bust a tooth on her hard centre

or get her soft gooey centre.

-You could always read the piece of paper that it comes with.

-Yeah.

Yeah, if only women came with written instructions, eh?

We still wouldn't read 'em.

We've got Phil Mitchell staying.

Going to have to give that spare room a right airing.

No, I dunno how you do it, to be honest.

I'd hate if Whitney had an ex stay.

Exes are exes for a reason, son - you know?

Don't get me wrong - I've told her to get rid.

But you know, sometimes, like I say,

she's got a centre full of that strawberry cream stuff.

Heart of gold, your gran.

And a fantastic pair of legs.

It's Ben's birthday today.

Yeah?

Happy birthday, Ben.

Are you not going to go see him?

Nah.

Um...

Sharon said that you'd filed for divorce.

Yeah.

I never should have married her. Big mistake, that was.

Another big mistake was...

-..was letting you go.

-You never "let me go".

You chose her over me.

Well, I'm a stupid idiot, then, ain't I?

We're made out of the same mould, me and you, Shirl.

Neither of us can deny that.

Right, we've had a drink. Now I want you to leave.

Are you sure you want me to go?

Excuse me, excuse me, move around.

Ooh! I made you your favourite sandwiches.

And Babe wanted to make you a trifle but I said you'd prefer cheesecake.

So did you get any nice presents?

Oh, I got him a pair of designer shoes, which he was meant to wear - and a nice shirt.

Yeah, well, I'm more comfortable like this. Anyway, they pinch.

What was I supposed to get you?

Another one of your stupid video games?

-She wasn't dressed like that earlier.

-She looks lovely.

-Kathy, come on! Champagne here.

-Oh, thanks, yeah.

Happy birthday, son.

What, all these?

I didn't know what to get you. Look, open that one first.

Took me ages to track it down.

I wasn't sure if you'd remember.

Come on. Thank you.

I got it online.

We used to play it in the car. He knew all the words.

I'm sure your old man will stick an appearance in at some time.

-And ruin the day?

-I didn't think you were coming.

Oh! Nah, you know me. I wouldn't miss a party, would I?

Happy birthday, Ben, you old man!

-She always wanted a brother or sister, didn't she?

-Yeah.

I take it you are treating him like he's your own.

-He IS mine.

-So what about Kush?

-Kush's got nothing to do with him.

Arthur's MY son, he's your little brother.

You're all right with that, aren't you?

-Yeah. But if you want me to babysit, I want paying!

-Cheek!

Listen - about Kush.

Look, I just don't want to talk about Kush.

-Right. So six years of friendship goes down the drain, does it?

-Yeah.

You can't turn your back on him and bury your head in the sand.

There's going to be THINGS that you need to sort out about Arthur.

Excuse me.

-Where are you going?

-He needs changing.

Stace.

20 years.

I can't believe I've got a 20-year-old kid.

But you - your Mick's what?

39.

Hah! Must make you feel like a right old crone.

But I'll tell you something, shall I? I'll tell you something.

You don't look old enough.

-Is that right?

-Yeah.

That's right.

You know what my mum used to say about you?

She used to say...

You had a face like an ironing board.

Nice.

Got any more compliments you want to chuck at me?

You don't need...compliments.

You smell the same.

You don't appreciate...

..what you've got till it's gone, do you?

No.

Why don't you...

..tell Fishy Fred...

..to sling his hook?

Everything all right with you and Abi?

Why shouldn't it be?

No reason.

You just don't seem very together, that's all.

Sometimes I run out of things to say to her.

Relationships get like that, love.

You've just both got to make more of an effort.

You know, do something fun before the baby comes.

See, everyone keeps saying that.

Like my life's going to end when it's born.

You haven't changed your mind, have you? About wanting the baby?

Course not.

There's just other things I want as well.

Where did you come from?

Yeah, sorry, I got your text, but I hadn't got you a present. So...

Here, happy birthday.

It's from the market.

It's a two-player game as well,

so, any time you want a thrashing, invite me over.

Cheers, mate.

How's it going anyway? You all right?

I've just seen your mother trying to sell a floral low cut

to a Sally Army girl.

Still, if anyone's got the gift of the gab it's her, innit?

Do her batteries, like, ever run out?

All right, enough of the small talk.

Why are you acting like such a stupid little kid?

Been talking to you, then, has she?

No, no, there's no need.

I've got eyes.

-And she's really worried about you.

-It's nothing to do with you.

Well, she's my mate. And I don't like seeing her upset.

You know Patrick, don't you?

-I guess.

-Yeah?

Well, there was a time that I thought he was my dad.

He's not.

But...I really wanted him to be.

-Do you know what? I don't need this.

-Sit down and listen.

Fact is...

I don't really know who my dad is.

But it's always there.

You know, it's always...just beneath the surface.

Now, do you want that for Arthur?

A lifetime of unanswered questions?

No-one has ever suffered from having too many parents.

So, you just forget about Martin's feelings.

Forget about Stacey's, and yours.

The only person that matters in all of this is that little boy.

Kush.

Don't walk away.

You may regret this for the rest of your life.

You're the only one who's ever been able to match me

drink for drink, you know that?

Is that supposed to make me feel special?

Is that what you want?

I think I'll go and have a shower.

You coming?

KNOCKING

Mum's gone. It's just me.

I'm really sorry.

It just all got a bit much.

He's got the best smile, hasn't he?

Yeah.

Stacey, you've really hurt my dad.

I know he's acting like everything's fine,

but he was devastated when he found out Arthur wasn't his.

I'm sorry.

You do know that I wasn't really with your dad when it happened?

I've... I never cheated on him.

Do you think he'll start looking like Kush?

I...

I don't know...

Don't you think it's going to be hard if Kush

carries on living round here?

Especially if he has kids of his own.

Cos they'll be Arthur's brothers and sisters.

But maybe it'll be a good thing.

We could do things together, like holidays and Christmas.

Is everything all right in here?

No. I need to go out.

-We could go to the park if you want?

-No, I just want to be on my own.

Stace!

It's all right, I'll sort it.

Stace!

No, not now, Kush.

I've been thinking, OK, and I'm glad Martin's back, but I can't...

-I can't just stand back and not be part of my son's life.

-Stacey!

-Don't talk to him! Kush, just go away.

-No, please.

This is important, OK?

I want my son growing up knowing that I'm his real dad.

I'm not taking anything away from you, Martin, but...he's my son.

No, he's mine! He's my son.

-I'm the one who gets to decide, OK? Me!

-I've got rights.

Oh, just shut up. Can't you see you're upsetting her?

Martin, I want to go back to the unit.

Stacey, you haven't even seen Lily yet. You're doing so well, come on.

Please, I want to go back!

-I'll go and get the car keys.

-OK.

Can't you see what you're doing to her? Just leave us alone.

Stacey.

Please, I don't want you being scared of me. You're my sister.

No, I'm not!

My dad had three daughters with his other family, he never had a son!

-Please, Stacey.

-No, you're lying!

I'm not, I used to be your sister.

I was Sarah.