22/03/2016 EastEnders


22/03/2016

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Transcript


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What are you talking about, you're Sarah?

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I used to be.

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Now I'm Kyle.

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-You're a liar!

-I'm not.

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Please, just give me a chance to explain. Please, Stacey.

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Just five minutes and you'll never hear from me again!

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What are you saying to her?!

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How many times do I have to tell you?!

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Martin, leave it.

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There's things I need to tell her.

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Martin, stop it!

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Martin!

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Well, go on, then.

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Can we go somewhere more private?

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I'm going to take him to the flat.

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He's a conman, Stace!

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Please, Martin.

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Come on. Come inside.

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Come on.

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I'm sorry, Stacey, I didn't mean to upset you.

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I'm running the shower.

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Come and get wet.

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I had a wash this morning, Phil, like normal people.

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It's time to go. I mean it.

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I'm not messing up what I've got with Buster.

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He's nothing...

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compared to what we had.

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What you threw away.

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And now Sharon's kicked you out,

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you suddenly remember who I am, is that it?

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This has got nothing to do with Sharon.

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This is about me and you.

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There is no me and you.

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It's been nice reminiscing, Phil...

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..but now I want you gone.

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I didn't mean to just blurt it out, I...

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So, you really are my sister?

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I'm your brother, Stacey.

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Maybe I should start at the beginning.

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Yeah, I think you should.

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This ain't what you want.

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No, what I want is you gone.

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Can't trust yourself with me, can you? Eh?

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HE LAUGHS

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INAUDIBLE

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All right, Paul?

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I didn't know you were coming.

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Abi, you're looking radiant.

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When do you have your first scan?

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I can't wait to see what mini Ben looks like.

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Oh, it's...not for ages yet.

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It can't be that long.

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Hey, it's a party!

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Ben.

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Ben. Where was my invite?

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Look, we don't need you here, Phil.

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Come on, Phil, just leave it, yeah?

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Listen, I ain't got you a present,

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but buy yourself a drink.

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Come on, Phil.

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Hang on, I'm buying my son a drink.

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-Come on.

-No, you're not, Phil.

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Let's take you over the cafe, I'll get you a coffee. Come on.

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Ben!

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Ben!

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Suit yourself.

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Come on, this way. Mind the step.

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So, you're transsexual?

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Transgender.

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I...used to be a girl but...

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I always felt like I should be a boy.

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Stace, please.

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-Don't shut me out.

-I'm not,

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I just need to hear what Kyle's got to say.

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-About what?

-Martin, please. I just...

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I just need a few minutes.

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I'm fine.

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Honestly, I am.

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Why don't you go and pick Lily up from school?

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OK. You're going to be here when I get back?

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OK. Just call me if you need me, yeah?

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I've not had this conversation with many people.

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It's not easy for me.

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You believe me, don't you?

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I...

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I always felt I should be a boy.

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I don't know where to start.

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So, you always knew you were the wrong sex?

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When I was a kid...

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a little kid...

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I'd always play games with the boys.

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I was good at football.

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I used to get picked first a lot.

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Then, when I got older,

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it became an issue.

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Cos I still wanted to be one of the boys...

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..but my body...

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..it started to matter more.

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I knew I had to pick a side...

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..so I gave up playing football.

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I tried to...

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force myself to wear dresses...

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..and make-up but...

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..I knew it weren't right.

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I used to get panic attacks

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and think about dying,

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and get myself into a state, because I...

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I didn't want to die a girl.

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I'm not... I'm not making this up.

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You are my sister.

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Why didn't you just tell me?

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Why pretend?

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I've not pretended.

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I AM Kyle now.

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You're never going to meet Sarah,

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she's gone,

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so what's the point in me talking about her?

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I wanted you to accept me for who I am.

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-Kyle?

-Yeah.

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Your brother...

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who wants to be a part of your life.

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Did you see the way they all looked at him?

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Disgust.

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Like he's nothing.

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And me? Well, I just look at him the same way...

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..cos THAT ain't my dad.

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Like, when Lexi was born, yeah?

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I was just a kid...

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..and Dad just took over.

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It's like when Mum...

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Like when Mum died...

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..Dad just...

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Well, he just took it all on, you know?

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So, now it's your turn to help him.

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I don't know if I can!

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And having Mum all over me is...

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It's weird, Paul.

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I still have nightmares where she's dead.

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Everyone's banging on about the baby

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and Abi's eyes are all over me.

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I feel like I can't breathe.

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You're going through a lot.

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I am 20 years of age, Paul.

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I'm supposed to be going on holiday to Ibiza with me mates!

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You know...

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you're really the only person I wanted here.

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I...

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I know...

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that we're just mates...

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but...

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..I can't turn off how I feel.

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I'm trying.

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I want to do the right thing, but...

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I see you and I just...

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This isn't going to help you, all right?

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I'm so alone, mate.

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BABY GURGLES

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So, when did you become Kyle?

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When I was 16.

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At first, I thought I was a lesbian but...

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I realised it was more than that.

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I was very close to Soph.

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She's the...

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She's the friend that came with me when I was here last.

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We sort of got together.

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HE SIGHS

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I bet you think I'm really messed up.

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A few months ago, I was on a roof trying to give my baby back to God

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because I thought he was His son

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but, actually, he's Kush's -

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that's Martin's best mate.

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I'm only here for the day,

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I'm staying in a special unit for post-partum psychosis.

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So, yeah... I'd say that when it comes to being messed up,

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we're pretty even.

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You really thought Arthur was God's son?

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Yep.

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That's...

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Yeah, you're right, that is pretty messed up.

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Shut up.

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How's Martin been about you having his mate's baby?

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He's been great.

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He has been great.

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It's been hard on him.

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He was in the middle of proposing at Halloween and...

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Oh, so, you're engaged?

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No, no. It all went a bit wrong.

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I wasn't really ready.

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Well, he sounds like a keeper.

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Yeah, he is.

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You know what? I didn't really ever like the name Sarah anyway.

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You don't look anything like a girl.

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Good.

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It's the testosterone and the mastectomy.

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On the morning of the operation, I kept playing

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Beyonce's If I Were A Boy...

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and I couldn't stop grinning.

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I just felt like...

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once they were gone, I'd be well on my way.

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What about down below?

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Have you still...?

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Or have you got a...?

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I've not had that done yet.

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It's a long process.

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I'm sorry about attacking you before.

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Now I get why you called me the devil.

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Actually, to be fair...

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..that time we were chatting in the cafe, I thought you were on drugs.

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I was actually off my meds.

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Oh, yeah, I've got bipolar as well.

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Great.

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I'm not a fan of "normal" people.

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If it means anything, I...

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I think you're the sanest person I've met in ages.

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SHE GIGGLES Thanks.

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I just... I hate feeling like everyone's looking at me, like...

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Like I'm on show. Like...

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Like you're a freak?

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Another one for Ben's happy memory bank.

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It's coffee

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and it's disgusting...

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What's disgusting is the state of you.

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Are you trying to kill yourself?

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What do you care?

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I don't...but Ben does.

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All right, Billy?

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Yeah, um...

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The thing is...

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-..we ain't really got room for him.

-Sorry, mate.

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He's your family, not mine. Not my problem.

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No, no, but I've got Honey and the kids now, ain't I?

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Well, stick him in the bus shelter, then.

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Looks like you pulled the short straw.

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Sometimes, I get down over stuff, like work...

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so I have that on my phone to remind me that

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things used to be a whole lot worse.

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That looks nothing like you.

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Don't you find it strange?

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My whole life's been strange.

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All that stuff about building sand castles with Dad,

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it was all true, it's just...

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I was Sarah then.

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I reckon if Dad was alive, he'd like Kyle.

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Let me show you something.

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"I was born to survive."

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Oh, I love that.

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Well, I got it done because...

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Well, Shannon's boyfriend and his mates...

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..beat me up.

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I ended up in hospital.

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When I got out, I got it done.

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A bit of defiance.

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Your sister's boyfriend?

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She...

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stood and watched.

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Well, I better not meet her.

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No danger in that.

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They've no interest in Dad's other family.

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I've got a tattoo.

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Here, hold Arthur a minute.

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I'll show you.

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What's it mean?

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I dunno,

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I had it done in Mexico.

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I feel a bit silly now,

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yours is all full of meaning

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and mine is just something I had done when I was bored.

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I like it. Looks good on you.

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So, are you and Soph still together?

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Not in that way.

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She went back to Blackpool last week.

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Moved back in with her mum.

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I thought you two had a flat in London.

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Landlord chucked us out.

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I am sofa surfing.

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I wanted to stay around, see you.

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Well, we've got a spare room.

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It's... It's OK.

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-DOOR CLOSES

-Is that Martin? Yeah.

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-Please don't tell him. Please.

-OK.

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-Mummy!

-Hello!

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-Oh!

-Here. Give him here.

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Come here, mate.

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Kyle, this is Lily.

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Lily, this is my brother - your Uncle Kyle.

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Hi, Lily.

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Thank you.

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I knew you'd see sense and fight for your boy.

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No, I've made it worse.

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Alienated the pair of them.

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All you've done is tell them you're not going to be ignored.

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They'll come round.

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They just need time to get used to the idea.

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Do you know what, Mum?

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I'm not really feeling work today.

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Do you mind just keeping an eye on the stall for me, please?

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Drink isn't the answer.

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No?

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You fooled me.

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What are you doing up here?

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Waiting for you.

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Ollie still on track about coming home tomorrow?

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Yeah.

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So, he's OK?

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They don't know.

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Even though they're letting him come home tomorrow,

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they still don't know...

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..and they won't know until it's something obvious...

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..and I can't talk to L about it

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because she's adamant everything's all right,

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so I just...

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I can't, like...

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I can't say...

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you know, like, what I'm feeling.

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-I can't...

-Mick...

-Please, don't.

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Look, I've got...

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I've got to keep it together.

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But he's different, you know?

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Yeah.

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Anyway...

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I've just come to pick up some stuff for L and the baby.

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Why don't you let Nancy take some stuff up?

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Have a rest.

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I'm fine.

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Nancy's not.

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-Why? What's she said?

-Nothing.

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She didn't have to, it's obvious.

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It was an accident, Mick.

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It wasn't her fault.

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You must see she's hurting, Ollie's her brother.

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Look, I am not the best person to give parental advice but...

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..don't push her away, Mick.

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That sort of thing takes years to mend.

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So, you got work later on?

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No, I'm free all afternoon.

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Oh.

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What have you got in mind?

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Well, I was thinking maybe

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we could go back to yours...

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Look, I think we both know what would happen if we did.

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Yeah, but you know I like you,

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-so...

-Yeah, I really like you too.

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That's why I want to take things slow, you know?

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I mean, I ain't had the best luck with boyfriends in the past.

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I want this to be different.

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Are you saying I'm your boyfriend, then?

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No, I'm just saying...

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Come here.

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Give it a couple of months

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and they'll be throwing things at each other.

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Ben, you OK?

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Yeah.

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Look, it's a disease.

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He doesn't know what he's doing...or saying.

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Just don't let him ruin your day. OK?

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Where's Paul?

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He said he had to go.

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There's...this new veterinary nurse at the practice,

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he's really camp. I was thinking about setting him and Paul up.

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Paul wouldn't like anyone camp!

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Babe, what do you say we give this another half hour

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and then go back home, watch a DVD, yeah?

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Yeah, that sounds great.

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# Happy birthday to you

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# Happy birthday to you

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# Happy birthday, dear Ben

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# Happy birthday to you! #

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THEY APPLAUD

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So...

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what?

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Now, Kyle IS your brother?

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Yeah.

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I thought Charlie said that your dad had three girls.

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Look, Martin, I can't explain now,

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but can you just accept that he is my brother?

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Please?

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If you say so.

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I really like him.

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I think he's kind and gentle.

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I want to get to know him.

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Yeah, he's...

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He's all right.

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Well, I'm glad you said that.

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I... I told him that he could stay with us.

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-You are joking!

-Well, he's lost his flat.

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So? This is our home, Stace.

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I don't want some stranger knocking about.

0:20:000:20:02

I mean, you're in the unit and I've got Lily to look after.

0:20:020:20:05

Yeah, well, he can help you.

0:20:050:20:06

You said yourself, he's...

0:20:060:20:08

-He's a weirdo.

-No. That was before!

0:20:080:20:10

Before what?

0:20:100:20:11

Before what?!

0:20:130:20:14

Martin, please.

0:20:140:20:15

It means that much to you?

0:20:210:20:23

HE SIGHS

0:20:250:20:27

You're my rock.

0:20:270:20:28

You know that.

0:20:290:20:31

You're my not-wife.

0:20:350:20:37

So, what? You want to go back now?

0:20:400:20:42

Yeah, in a bit.

0:20:420:20:43

There's something that we need to do first.

0:20:430:20:46

What's that for?

0:21:100:21:12

Don't turn your nose up at my kisses, I don't give many.

0:21:120:21:16

He's going to be all right.

0:21:220:21:24

Is he?

0:21:250:21:26

Course he is.

0:21:260:21:28

He's a Carter, he's a fighter.

0:21:280:21:30

Look at Johnny.

0:21:330:21:35

When he was born, it was touch-and-go for ages -

0:21:350:21:37

but he pulled through.

0:21:370:21:38

This is different.

0:21:400:21:41

Little kids are a lot thicker skinned than you'd think.

0:21:450:21:48

You're not alone.

0:21:530:21:55

KNOCK ON DOOR Have you seen Nancy?

0:21:580:22:00

No.

0:22:000:22:01

Well, she's disappeared and there's a pub full.

0:22:010:22:03

-You ain't seen her, Mick, have you?

-No.

0:22:030:22:05

No.

0:22:050:22:07

I've got to get this...

0:22:070:22:08

stuff to Linda.

0:22:080:22:10

I don't know how long I'm going to be.

0:22:100:22:12

We'll man the fort, don't you worry.

0:22:120:22:15

-Give Linda my love, won't you, Mick?

-Yeah, course I will.

0:22:150:22:17

If you see Nancy...

0:22:170:22:19

tell her...

0:22:190:22:21

What?

0:22:210:22:22

Don't matter.

0:22:240:22:26

Er, Kush...

0:22:360:22:38

you left the door open.

0:22:380:22:39

I tell you what, we'll come back when you ain't busy.

0:22:390:22:41

No, no. Stay, please.

0:22:410:22:43

If Shabs could see you now...

0:22:430:22:44

Yeah, well, she can't, can she? Cos she left me!

0:22:440:22:48

Debs is just keeping me company.

0:22:480:22:50

This is him in pain, is it?

0:22:500:22:52

We've come to talk to you about Arthur,

0:22:520:22:54

-or ain't you bothered any more?

-Course I am! Course...

0:22:540:22:56

Debs, you're going to have to go. Now.

0:22:560:22:58

Are you serious about wanting to be a part of his life?

0:23:060:23:09

Yes, of course I am.

0:23:090:23:11

-I'm dead serious.

-Well, then, sort yourself out

0:23:110:23:13

and tidy this place up, cos I'm telling you now...

0:23:130:23:15

I ain't going to let you be a part of his life

0:23:150:23:17

if you carry on like this.

0:23:170:23:19

Come on, Martin.

0:23:190:23:20

You put the rubbish out?

0:23:290:23:30

Yes.

0:23:320:23:34

We'll have to fumigate the spare room.

0:23:340:23:36

You've got a kind heart, Shirley Carter.

0:23:380:23:41

Yeah?

0:23:410:23:42

Well, don't go broadcasting it, will you?

0:23:420:23:45

Fancy a pot of winkles?

0:23:450:23:47

I'll throw in a pin for a kiss.

0:23:470:23:50

What makes you think that I like your winkles?

0:23:500:23:53

You can't keep your hands off my winkles.

0:23:530:23:56

-THEY LAUGH

-Come here.

0:23:560:23:59

Oh, hang on.

0:23:590:24:00

I'll see you later, yeah?

0:24:000:24:01

Oi!

0:24:010:24:02

Where are you going?

0:24:070:24:09

That is the key for the front door

0:24:120:24:14

and that is the one for the flat upstairs.

0:24:140:24:16

-Are you sure about this?

-Yeah, I want you here.

0:24:160:24:18

I'll be back in a couple of days, anyway, for Easter -

0:24:180:24:21

so we'll chat then.

0:24:210:24:22

Oh, and I'll have a look through this later.

0:24:240:24:26

Lil, get out a minute.

0:24:290:24:30

You're all thumbs.

0:24:370:24:39

Sorry, today wasn't the best visit.

0:24:420:24:45

No, it was good.

0:24:450:24:47

Baby steps, yeah?

0:24:470:24:49

Yeah.

0:24:500:24:52

Italy?

0:24:550:24:57

It's a bit sudden, isn't it?

0:24:590:25:00

You know, Johnny's always asking me to visit.

0:25:010:25:04

But you're not visiting, are you?

0:25:040:25:07

You're running away.

0:25:070:25:08

I don't think I should be here when Ollie comes out of hospital.

0:25:100:25:14

So they can worry about you?

0:25:140:25:16

No, they don't need to worry about me.

0:25:160:25:18

I'll be with Johnny, won't I?

0:25:180:25:20

They need you here.

0:25:200:25:21

Your dad needs you here.

0:25:220:25:24

You know how much he relies on you.

0:25:240:25:27

That's exactly why I can't handle it.

0:25:270:25:29

He's disappointed in me, Shirl.

0:25:300:25:32

I'm disappointed in me.

0:25:320:25:34

I'm... I'm the reason that Ollie is in hospital.

0:25:350:25:38

It was an accident.

0:25:400:25:42

Dad blames me, Shirl.

0:25:420:25:43

No, he doesn't.

0:25:430:25:44

-He does.

-I'm telling you he doesn't.

0:25:440:25:47

He doesn't blame anyone.

0:25:470:25:50

He's struggling right now...

0:25:500:25:52

and he needs you here, not to disappear.

0:25:520:25:54

You haven't seen how he is with me.

0:25:560:25:58

It's like... It's like I don't exist.

0:25:580:26:01

He can't even look at me.

0:26:010:26:02

We've always been so close, you know that.

0:26:040:26:06

You still are.

0:26:060:26:08

We're not.

0:26:080:26:09

We're not. Since I hurt Ollie, we're not.

0:26:090:26:11

I love that baby so much.

0:26:160:26:18

Yeah?

0:26:190:26:20

Then prove it and stay.

0:26:220:26:24

We've got some lollipops somewhere.

0:26:310:26:33

Can I have one?

0:26:330:26:35

Don't see why not.

0:26:350:26:37

How was it?

0:26:370:26:38

Yeah, it was good.

0:26:380:26:41

There, I told you.

0:26:410:26:43

Nothing to worry about.

0:26:430:26:44

Well, actually, I'm lying.

0:26:440:26:46

It wasn't good.

0:26:460:26:47

I had a panic and I wanted to come back, but...

0:26:480:26:52

then I dealt with it, and then it was good.

0:26:520:26:55

Like we say, step by step.

0:26:550:26:58

Where's my lollipop?

0:26:580:27:00

That's a very good question!

0:27:000:27:02

Come on, let's go and find it.

0:27:020:27:05

Come on, mate.

0:27:070:27:09

Let's get you out of here, shall we?

0:27:090:27:12

Yeah.

0:27:120:27:14

Yeah.

0:27:160:27:18

Thank you.

0:27:180:27:20

It's all right. I don't really feel like I've done anything.

0:27:200:27:23

I feel like it's Kyle that made you feel better.

0:27:230:27:25

Well, he just...

0:27:250:27:27

reminded me how important family is.

0:27:270:27:29

Yeah, well...

0:27:310:27:33

Listen, I'll go and grab Lily and then we'll come back,

0:27:330:27:35

and then we'll shoot off, yeah?

0:27:350:27:37

-OK.

-I'll go get her some tea.

0:27:370:27:38

Martin?

0:27:380:27:40

I... I meant what I said earlier.

0:27:410:27:44

You are my rock and...

0:27:450:27:47

I just...

0:27:470:27:49

I can't believe how you've dealt with all this.

0:27:490:27:51

Yeah. Yeah, well...

0:27:530:27:55

-Well...

-It's cos you love me, ain't it?

0:27:550:27:57

Maybe.

0:28:000:28:02

Well, it better be.

0:28:020:28:03

Why?

0:28:030:28:05

Well, I don't want to marry someone who don't love me.

0:28:050:28:08

I don't want to be your not-wife any more, Martin.

0:28:100:28:13

What's this?

0:28:130:28:15

Is this a proposal?

0:28:150:28:17

Yeah.

0:28:180:28:20

Will you marry me?

0:28:200:28:21

Yeah, yeah.

0:28:240:28:25

Course I will.

0:28:260:28:28

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