10/04/2017 EastEnders

So...what are you doing later?

Only, I'm... I'm meeting these people

with the planning team tomorrow.

-The planning team?

-At the council...

I wanted to get some experience...

-Yeah.

-Yeah, didn't think they'd actually listen.

What about the market? What are you going to tell everyone?

Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about...

-That's £3, please.

-Could I get a bacon sandwich with that, please? I'm starving.

No! I made you breakfast two hours ago.

I hope you're not going to waste this holiday slobbing about in bed.

It's for revision. Isn't that right, Bex?

Yeah. Yeah, revision. If I ever get out of this place.

CARMEL CHUCKLES

Be nice to have both my boys over, ease my nerves...

I could cook us a nice dinner... Anything you like.

-Tonight?

-Is that not convenient?

Well, it sounds lovely, Mum, it really does, it's... Uh...

Patrick's off to Trinidad this evening,

-I was going to treat Denise to a Mexican.

-Oh, lucky her(!)

Tomorrow might work, though.

-Oh, yeah, yeah, tomorrow's better for me, too, actually.

-Yeah?

I tell you what, I'll keep it free, all right?

Don't do me any favours, will you(?)

Oh, sorry.

That's all right. Who'd have 'em, eh?

Yeah.

Argh! Johnny?! Lady Di's been sick again!

KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS

Hiya. Johnny said Tina was staying here.

-Yeah.

-Look, sorry to ask, but I'm desperate.

I've got to go and get me neck checked out,

I mean, it's probably nothing, but you got to be sure, ain't you?

And then Marie's car's broken down on the way back from Kent

and she's the one who's covering for Tina this week.

You want her to do a shift at the caff?

Well, I wouldn't ask, but... I've really been left in the lurch.

-Sorry.

-Oh... D-Don't be daft, all right.

I wanted to see how you were, anyways.

And you can't get anyone else at all?

Well, only Bex, but I can't leave her on her own for lunchtime.

-I'll do it.

-There you go, problem solved!

-You?

-How hard can it be?

-You'd really be helping me out.

Well... What about Bex?

Well, it'll give 'em a chance to build some bridges, won't it?

Well, go on, let me... Maybe I can do a maple syrup pancake special.

-SHARON LAUGHS

-Yeah, well, beans on toast'll be fine, thanks.

Right, well...start at 11:30.

-On the dot.

-Great.

Your dad's in bed sick still and this one's been on the turn.

He's been like it all night. He needs his lunch.

Oh, thanks.

Oh!

-Uh... Let me help...

-No... It's fine. Thanks.

Well, he doesn't sound it!

I could give him a push round the Square?

No, he's just hungry. I just need to get home.

Look, Stacey, I've been kicking meself, you know?

When I said about your "mental health" and all that, I...

I didn't mean any of it.

Well, you said it, Carmel, and it was out of order.

We had an understanding about Arthur and you blew it.

(Yeah.)

Look, Stace, it's nearly Easter...

And?

I thought I could get him a chocolate bunny.

Spend a little bit of time with him.

Oh, we've got plans. His grandma's coming to visit.

You all right? You want to... go for something a bit stronger?

Yeah, thanks.

Right, girls, so when you're done shopping, just give us a call.

-We'll square up and I'll call you a cab to the airport, yeah?

-Thank you.

-Lovely.

-No worries.

-Cheers!

-Bye.

Oh, put your tongue back in, mate, you're putting me off my sausage!

Yeah, you could at least wait till they're gone before you swipe their leftovers!

Well, we've got nothing in now we've fed them. I'm starving and skint.

Yeah, well, we don't want them to know that, do we?

That Heidi, she's well fit, ain't she?

Think it's the German accent, you know, it's exotic, ain't it?

You should've gone with 'em.

We could charge more for a tour guide.

Yeah, I know what I'd like to get a tour of and it ain't between

zones one and four.

Listen, I told you last night, I reckon you could be in there.

Oh, yeah, in me dreams.

Well, it's been long enough since you've seen any action, ain't it?

Yeah, you're telling me.

I'm sure you'll know what to do when you get there.

BEN CHUCKLES

Um, thank you for calling in, Abs.

I thought if anyone would know what to do it'd be you.

Well, she doesn't look too perky, you're right there.

She hasn't been herself for days.

Has she had a change in diet? Eaten something she shouldn't have?

Uh, we put her on dry food and that seemed to sort out the...

the bottom end, but it's all coming out the top now.

Oh, well, it can't be the food then.

Well, can you take her temperature or something?

-I haven't got a thermometer.

-I've got Ollie's.

Whit, you do know where it has to go?

Look, I'm... I'm not a vet, I just work there,

but I do know you should keep her hydrated

and maybe try her on chicken and boiled rice.

-But at least if she's got a bug she's getting it all up.

-Yeah, all over the place!

-Mm!

You know, dogs are sensitive creatures, they pick up everything.

-Well, I think she misses Mick.

-Mm, and Mum too, probably.

They like to feel secure, with everyone they love around.

-So, what can we do?

-Well, has she got her own safe place?

A quiet corner where her bed is?

Mm... No, she's just been kipping in there on one of Dad's jumpers.

I'd recommend a dog pen, then.

A pen? Well, that's a bit harsh, ain't it?

No, not at all!

I'm not saying lock her in there, but they actually like the security.

Oh... Well, how much would one of them be?

I should call Tina. We need her here.

Yeah, you're right.

Ah... Good stuff!

Yeah, yeah, I'm all about the green stuff today.

Yeah, till he sees a chocolate biscuit!

I promised, didn't I?

Well, you have been known to cheat on one or two occasions, Ian.

Yeah, well, today's a fresh start, right, Dad?

-JANE GROANS

-Good. Still going on about carbs and calories then?

It's my dad's health we're taking about, Lauren.

-I'm still waiting for him to get a scuff on his trainers.

-Ooh! Oh, look, it came!

His little Easter outfit.

Oh, look. What do you think?

Well, I know Ian's on a diet, but he might need a bigger size.

LAUREN LAUGHS It's lovely.

He's only going to wear it once.

-So what?

-You know what you should do?

When Louie's got it on you should send the picture to Peter.

Yeah... Oh, maybe with his Easter egg as well.

Yeah. Did he ever reply to the last one you sent him?

Da-dah! You can be my first customer.

It's going to take more than a smiley face.

-Oh, please, just give me a chance...

-A chance to do what?

If we could just spend some time together, the way we did before.

Like it's that easy just to go back to how it was.

-I'm still your auntie.

-Oh... Oh, now you remember(!)

I want to be one you can be proud of again.

I know you think, "I'm an adult"...

but you want to know a secret?

-No-one ever FEELS like an adult.

-Hm?

Up here...nothing changed. This never got old.

Is that why you went with a teenager?

Kim, I can go and get you the bits you need.

I'm perfectly capable, thank you, Dee!

Oh, my word, what happened to you?

Oh, Medway Towns' Extreme Salsa Weekend.

It was supposed to be my special time to shine.

Certainly looks as though it was special.

And then Marie's car broke down. You know she's still at the garage?

Being stranded on the A2 is not glamorous.

Even with a feather boa.

-Well, if it's any consolation, I'm hobbling too...

-Oh?

..since that sponsored cycle.

Couldn't even bend over this morning to put me socks on.

-Should've got Kush to do it for you.

-Well! The pain was worth it.

The cycle was a roaring success, thanks to Kush...

Yeah, thanks to that man of mine, yeah.

I might buy him a little present to celebrate.

I'm going to the West End, you know, Easter shopping.

-Like that?!

-Well, yeah, I'll get a cab, innit? I need cheering up.

Hold on, didn't Vincent say no more shopping?

Oh, you know me, Dee, no man could tell me what to do!

But just don't tell him, yeah?

Because I told him to look after Pearl so I could get a few essentials.

-Mm... On his card?

-Lucky you!

If you get bored of him, pass him on down to me!

Well, money ain't everything, you know.

What, you wouldn't love it if Kush bought you that laptop

that you really want?

Would be nice...

Well, if I want anything, I can get it for myself,

and mine and Kush's relationship is fine as it is, thank you, Kim!

This has gone straight to my head.

SHE SIGHS

I never usually do this, but... I was so upset.

It's all right, you can blame me. It was my idea to come here.

I just don't get it. I mean, he's my flesh and blood. My only grandchild.

Yeah, but of course... Huh!

I'm just another flashing beacon to remind them all

that Martin ain't the dad.

That's what it is.

Well, I am sorry, but I am going nowhere.

That little boy is going to grow up knowing how much I adore him

whether she likes it or not.

I'm sorry.

-No, it's all right, honestly, I get it. I've been there.

-Eh?

Well, my grandson Louie... I missed the whole start of his life.

The birth, everything.

How come?

Well, it's just when I was in prison.

No-one wanted to know me, really. Including me daughters.

Hm! I'm not even in prison.

I'm standing right in front of them, being ignored!

Obviously...it's not the same...

I just wanted to talk it through...

But one of them spends the whole time with his mates and the other one...

Well, he's shacked up with my best friend.

-Sorry, ex-best friend.

-Yeah.

Mind you, I bet you're the first one they come running to

-when they need help.

-Mm! Yeah!

You should just make out you're too busy next time.

Actually, I am pretty busy!

-What, with the market?

-Well, there's that.

And now I've got all this to do...

-Yeah, what is all that?

-Oh, it's... It's just a meeting.

Got meself in a bit of a tizz about it to tell you the truth.

Well, looks pretty important, whatever it is.

I mean, obviously, it's none of my business,

but if you need help with anything...

Well, I haven't told anyone, but...

I've just been offered this opportunity...

with the council planning department.

Well, that sounds good.

Mm. I'm not sure... Well, it was my idea for the meeting, but...

-Well, can't teach an old dog new tricks, right?

-You ain't old.

No, you're experienced.

And experience is everything if you ask me, I mean...

You know, what's the worst that can happen?

You...won't be going far and you'll be going on to better things.

-Hm! They might even like me!

-SHE CHUCKLES

And it beats standing outside in all weathers with me clipboard, right?

Exactly.

See, I don't think you need the boys' help for this one.

I think you should go for it.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

JOHNNY SIGHS

So good to have you back, Teen.

I know it must be hard after... what happened.

Yeah, well, I had to face it some time.

Well, Lady Di will be pleased that you're back.

-Mm!

-She will, bless her, she's been so poorly and...

I reckon she's pining after Mick and Linda.

Well, look, I ain't her mum or her dad,

but I'll see what I can do, yeah? Bless her.

Anyway, I reckon Sharon'll be glad for her settee back.

Mm, I don't blame her. All this stuff you're lugging about.

Yeah, it ain't all mine! It's Shirley's as well.

And I've got Mum's stuff in there.

I'm not sure what to do with that yet.

Uh... Any news on when...?

I-I can't bear the idea of her having such a cheap funeral,

it's just... It feels like none of us loved her.

No, no, it's... Billy'll give her a lovely send-off.

It ain't all about the money. Look, we'll help out.

Plus, we can get the Canning Town lot in

and we can get some of them printed out for the guests.

She was so happy when you gave her that.

Best day of her life, that was, winning that title.

Why don't we do a Miss Walford?

-Come again?

-Yeah, a beauty pageant for charity. In her honour.

Well...yeah!

We need to do something for that fair, don't we?

Yeah, well, hang on a minute, this ain't the Dark Ages!

-Who'd enter a beauty contest?

-Well, not you, obviously!

Yeah, I can if I want!

Well, fine, you organise a Mr Walford then, yes?

Well, I won't just organise it... I'll win it!

WHITNEY LAUGHS

-Well, Mick will be pleased.

-Mm.

You know, if we're bringing punters in at least.

Yeah, speaking of which, those tills won't fill themselves!

-All right?

-All right?

Ooh! The girls just rang - got to let them in to get their gear.

-So I'll go, eh?

-I'll bet you will!

Ah... Here's what they owe for the rent minus the deposit.

And tell 'em they've got to give us a five-star review online, yeah?

Yeah, you leave that with me, I'll do my best to get the goods.

And we've got a couple from Barnsley keen for next weekend.

-ACCENT: Oh, Barnsley!

-Aye!

Oh, we're going to be raking it in, lad!

-BEN LAUGHS Ta-ra.

-See you later.

BEN: (Come on!)

-You all right?

-All right? You coming in?

I'll just warn you, though, Martin's got the lurgy.

No, I won't, if that's all right.

I just wanted a quick word about Carmel.

-Carmel?

-Yeah.

-Yeah, what about her?

It's just, I heard what you said to her earlier.

Thought it was a bit harsh.

Harsh? Are you joking? You've only heard one side of the story.

You didn't hear what she said to me!

Everyone says things they don't mean.

She ain't done anything to hurt Arthur, has she?

-Except basically call his mother a psycho!

-But this ain't all just about you.

-Why are you so bothered about Carmel?

-I'm not bothered about her,

I just think Arthur's got a right to see her.

You know kids aren't weapons. They shouldn't be held to ransom, Stace. You should know that.

Prison really did straighten you out.

It's just kindness. It goes a long way.

This looks cosy. Did you two kiss and make up?

What can I get you?

Still can't believe them two shared a man. Makes you want to be sick.

It's disgusting, man. The total shame.

-Everything OK?

-Yeah. Yeah, perfect.

What you having?

-Three skinny cappuccinos.

-To go. I ain't sitting in this dump.

Yeah, might catch something.

Surprised Bex ain't caught nothing by now!

-It's OK. I'm serving them.

-No need.

-Look, it's not a problem.

She must go home stinking of bacon fat! Bet Shaki loved that!

-No wonder she can't hold down a man.

-Not even her auntie's cast-offs.

-Here, I'll do it.

-Please, just go!

-You what?

Look, go home, Michelle! I don't want you making their drinks. I don't want you helping.

I don't want you anywhere near me!

OK? Do you get the message?

GIGGLING

So what is it she's got us here for? You must know.

-I'm sure it's nothing.

-I've got a bad feeling in my belly.

-That's probably that kebab you just launched down your throat. You still owe me for that.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Oh, here she is! What have you got to break to us, then?

-It's nothing to worry about.

Yeah, I've heard that before. It better not be about the covered market again.

Course it isn't. Come on, Mum, spit it out, will you?

-Well, it is, in a way.

-See? I knew it! You said they'd shelved their plan?

Just because they've shelved it, doesn't mean to say it's forgotten.

I mean, you've got to move with the times.

Otherwise, we'll all get left behind, won't we?

Well, are they doing it or not?

I don't know. Which is what is so fascinating.

What is going on behind the scenes?

We are on the front line here!

Yeah, and I am right behind you!

Yeah, I'm just interested in what they're up to,

which I mentioned in my work review

and I have got a meeting with them tomorrow!

What review?

Last week. The one where they remembered what I'd done this year.

-My achievements, you know?

-She's abandoning us.

Martin is going to flip.

Come on, come on, come on, let's just hear her out, please.

Yeah, I am doing nothing of the sort.

It's not even certain yet!

It'd just be a few hours a week off the market,

shadowing the planning team. Nothing drastic.

They're sucking you in. You're sleeping with the enemy, Carm.

I am doing nothing of the sort!

But look how quickly the council sorted everything out

after the bus crash, yeah?

Look, it'll help having someone on the inside.

I have got your backs. That is never going to change.

But I just want to move on, like everyone else does.

Is that so wrong?

Ah, Michelle...

HE CHUCKLES

Hey, you haven't seen Martin, have you?

He hasn't been on the stall today?

No, he's not feeling too well, so I've heard.

Well, this should get him back on his feet.

One For Arthur, eh?

-Arthur?

-Yeah, I mean, he said the name would bring him luck.

And he didn't even check the odds.

I'm sorry, Patrick, you've lost me.

-The Grand National!

-Ah...

-Oh, it's not that big in America, is it?

Not really my sort of thing.

-Ah...

-Always felt sorry for the horses, to tell the truth.

Anyway, betting's a loser's game, ain't it?

Oh, I don't think Martin would agree with you there.

No, he won the sweepstake - £200.

Maybe Arthur brought him a bit of luck.

Uh, that'd be a first, eh?

Yeah. Anyway, I'm going off to Trinidad soon,

I want you to pass this on to him for me, please.

-No, no, I'm sorry, I can't.

-You what...? But it's 2...

I'm the last person my brother wants to see right now.

-Oh, come...

-I'm sorry, I can't, Patrick.

HE MUMBLES

PHONE JINGLE

-Billy?

-'Have you seen Jay?'

-What, he ain't back yet?

'He's gone AWOL. Said he was getting the rent.'

Yeah, he went to see the girls off.

-All right, leave it with me.

-'Tell him to hurry up.'

Hm.

-Just gotta go and get Jay, all right?

-Yeah, no worries.

You finished work already?

On my break.

So...dare I ask? Hmm?

So far, so good.

Some bloke complained, found a bit of shell in his omelette,

but, like I say, can't make an omelette without breaking a few.

-I meant more about Bex.

-Yeah.

I've been sitting here, thinking about Mum and Dad.

Wondering what Mum'd do in my boat.

Probably would never have got in your boat. She'd have seen it had a big hole in it.

Yeah, don't I know it.

Anyway, it's not going too well with Bex, huh?

Wish Mum was here.

Michelle, I know you've been putting it off, but...

I know, I know, I know.

I think I've been kidding myself,

that if I didn't actually see the grave, then maybe it didn't happen.

Maybe she'll come round the corner with her blue overall on and that stupid frog bag.

Anyway, no more skiving. You'd better get back to your frying pan.

I'm not on my break.

-She kicked me out.

-Bex?

What happened?

I tried my best, I really did.

Louise came in with some of their mates and I think I was just

-too embarrassing to stand next to.

-It's down to Kathy, not her.

-And I'll have a word with Lou.

-No, no, don't.

I've caused everyone enough grief.

If this is how Bex feels, then I reckon I've got to ride it out.

It's a shame, though. Could've turned into something till you got yourself sorted.

-Is this just about money to you? Paying my dues?

-No, course it ain't!

Sorry.

I'll find a job tomorrow.

Might even manage a whole day in the next one(!)

Jay?

Jay?! Billy's looking for you. You ought to get back to work,

you mup-...

Jay?!

I'm in here!

You all right in there?

-Never better.

-What the...

-Don't ask!

All right? Just don't ask.

Them girls do this to you?

Yeah, Heidi reckoned the shower was leaking.

Said she wanted to show me. And, well, I thought...

Oh, I KNOW what you thought!

Well, it seemed like a good excuse to get me on my Jack.

Once we was in the bathroom, she started getting all steamy.

So, one minute, I'm thinking we're on...

and the next minute, well...

Look, I didn't get the rent, all right?

But I'll make it up to you, I promise.

I'll pay it out my wages or something.

And who's going to pay for that?

HE SIGHS

I got him the cutest Easter egg.

It's got his name in baby blue icing.

-Oh, he's going to love that!

-I know!

I would kill for some chocolate right now.

Yeah, Louie's first chocolate egg. The way they're banging on about it,

you'd think it was his first steps on the moon.

Yeah, but your kid's first anything, it's magical.

Yeah, I can imagine.

All they do is talk about food.

Seriously, I need a night out.

They were handing out flyers near my work.

There's this new club opening in Shoreditch on Good Friday.

-Annie Mac's on the line-up!

-No, Lauren. Sharon needs me here.

-And, to be honest, money's tight.

-Whitney, you are allowed to enjoy being single. What's the problem?

-This is about me, this night out, is it?

-Yeah, of course!

Lauren, you know you can talk to me about anything.

Yeah, I know that. And I'm here for you, as well.

So, what do you reckon, then?

Come on, you've got to get out there sometime.

-All right, fine. Fine.

-Yes! Nice one!

We're, erm, we're going out Good Friday.

It's the first I've heard.

And who's baby-sitting?

Steven.

-What?

-Eh...

-Oh, sorry, did you..? You thought that...

No, it's just, well, Whitney really wants it to be

a girls' night out, doesn't she? First steps and everything.

-I am sorry.

-Yeah.

So, I've been thinking, we should do something special.

Thursday, karaoke night, cos nobody's working the next day,

are they? And then, Friday - fish and chips,

to soak up the old hangover.

I will run it by Sharon, but Abi could sort the food out.

-You ain't just a pretty face, are you?

-No.

We need some extra coming in, don't we?

Actually, this...

This is what Lady Di needs. I mean., The price is a bit...

-What's it made of? Platinum?

-Yeah, I know.

-We've got to do something, Tine.

-With the best will in the world,

Whit, we ain't got the money for that, you know.

-And what, with the funeral and that...

-Yeah.

-Sorry.

The geezer said it's the biggest one they've got.

So I had to have it, didn't I?

Two white wines, please, Whitney.

And as I was flexing my plastic,

I had a little think about Kush.

And I've decided that you can bring him along to dinner on Thursday.

YOU decided?

Yeah, I want to see what his intentions are.

And you two can check out my fabulous new tableware.

Yeah, well I'll tell him tonight.

Vincent's going to blow a fuse, you know.

Look, he don't care! He's got plenty of money.

He doesn't even check his bank thingies.

I shouldn't have to.

Hi! Hi. Yeah, I was just picking up a few essentials

-for...Pearl.

-Yeah, yeah, I saw you struggle in with a few bags.

Pearl?

Well, don't worry, Daddio. I've got you a little something, as well.

Yeah. Look at this, look at this!

Yeah, I'm sure that's going to look lovely on you.

Kim...put that back in the bag.

-Look at this...

-Put it back in the bag!

It's like Easter, innit?

You know, you eat chocolates and, you know, shake your tail feathers.

Don't I deserve a treat, now that I'm disabled? Look.

Give me back my credit card.

-What did you say?

-My...credit...card.

-I don't know what...

-N-n-now!

Anyway, I am now going to go home and take a shower, all right?

You make sure you keep all the receipts

and we will talk about this later.

OK.

What he doesn't realise is that I check his bank thingies

and he's got plenty of money.

It's so vulgar to penny pinch.

Here.

I don't know if you know what vulgar is actually, Kim.

-What do you mean?

-This is about boundaries.

-You're pushing him too far.

-What do you mean pushing him too far?

You're spending his money at a rate of knots.

-Our money! It's our money. We're married.

-Yes, yes, to a certain extent, Kim,

but you can't have the man going around...

PAIR CONTINUE TO BICKER

Carmel, I'm glad I've seen you. I wanted to have a word with you.

Yeah?

So, I've spoken to Martin about you and Arthur

and I think he's warming to it.

Well...I'm warming to it.

So, I can get more involved?!

One step at a time, yeah.

Thank you. And I am really sorry.

It's him you want to thank, for sticking his oar in.

-Nah, not really.

-This is all down to you?

You don't know how much this means to me! You really don't!

Honestly, I didn't do anything.

Oh, yes, you have! I mean, you've helped with...with it all.

Stacey, the interview...

I am so lucky to have bumped into you.

Maybe it was fate.

Listen, don't underestimate yourself.

Thank you. For everything.

Stacey, let me get you that drink.