20/04/2017 EastEnders

What's with the tape?

-Well, the kitchen ain't safe, is it?

-We know that.

Just keep the door shut.

All right, I was only trying to help.

-MOBILE RINGS

-Mick?

-'How is she?'

-They haven't rung me back yet.

'What they playing at?'

She's upset.

He's in a right state.

Do you know when the first estimate's coming in?

I was talking about Lady Di.

She wouldn't have needed that basket if it wasn't for me and that stupid diet.

You weren't to know that the ceiling was going to fall in.

None of us were.

-Any news?

-Still waiting for the vet to get back to her.

It's been a couple of days now, right?

I just don't know if she can get through this.

-Hey, Johnny.

-You were there. You saw how much stuff came down on her.

And I know I shouldn't be going on about it,

after what's happened with Nancy and with...

With Sylvie.

That was massive. That was horrible.

-And I know this ain't the same. I know...

-We've got to stay positive.

Yeah?

She's getting the best treatment.

-Yeah, that vet is the dog's...

-I see what you did there.

-Thanks.

-The vet's going to let us know today.

That's a good sign then, yeah?

So, Johnny, go and finish your dissertation.

We don't want your uni work going down the pan and all.

-Has anyone told Linda yet?

-No, and we're not going to either.

-Lady Di is Linda's as well.

-Yeah, I know.

And if all goes well, then I'll ring her and if it don't...

Look, it's bad enough I've had Mick

bending my earhole every two minutes.

You might be her eyes and ears, but if you say anything,

you won't have any!

I'm not, I'm just the manager she sent.

MOBILE RINGS

Was that my phone?

-I heard it ring.

-No, no. it was Louie's mobile.

Oh.

-Still heard nothing about that job?

-No.

I've practically flattened my battery,

I've been checking it so many times.

I should have known it was too good to be true.

It was in the right place. One change on the tube.

It's flexible hours as well,

so I could have been working from home whenever I wanted to.

-MOBILE RINGS

-Is it them?

Withheld number.

Hello?

No, I haven't had an accident in the last three years!

Babe.

Junk calls should be outlawed.

-We must get up to ten a day sometimes.

-And spam as well.

The amount of time I have to spend clearing my spam folder.

My spam folder!

I haven't checked there.

I got an interview.

Yes!

This is the third message I've left you.

Your useless engineer ain't turned up again.

I've been without heating and hot water for two days now.

Can you get someone here, pronto?

-So, you should know something later?

-According to the vet.

What I don't get is why they won't tell us now,

whether she's going to be OK or if she ain't.

Tina's going off her head.

So is Johnny and Whit. You know what they're like.

They're soppy so-and-sos.

All this on top of everything else you've had to face this week.

And Woody. What a waste of space that is.

I was thinking more about Sylvie.

And that.

There you go. On the house.

Don't feel sorry for me. I don't even like the mutt.

Welcome home, Shirl.

I'll have one of those, please, Kathy. To take away.

Thanks.

-Oh? Problem?

-Ten out of ten, Sherlock! What gave it away?

The fact I'm not actually moving anywhere?!

It's not the battery.

Well, before you jump down my throat, I wouldn't dream of it.

-What?

-Helping you out. Well, it's like you said. You were right.

This ain't the Middle Ages.

I mean, you don't need a... What did you call me?

-Ah, a throwback.

-Am oily rag throwback.

-That was it.

-OK, Ben. Point made.

Stop winding me up and help me out, will you?

Right, I think it could be the electrics.

I'm not interested in what it "could" be. Can you fix it?

Yeah, I'll get some tools from the Arches. Oh, if we've got any left!

You've still got those spanners of ours, haven't you?

And that screwdriver for your boiler?

Yeah, well, I might have to keep hold of them for a while yet.

-Ain't that fixed yet?

-No.

That mean you've been without hot water for all this time?

So don't get too close.

-Yeah, it was in my spam the whole time.

-'When is it?'

Tomorrow, yeah. Yes, Whitney, I will call you straight after, yeah?

I'll tell you all about it. See you.

-So that's that sorted, then?

-What sorted?

What we're going to do for the rest of the day.

Babe, I've really got to prepare for tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow's what I'm talking about.

-We are going to get you a new outfit.

-You don't need to do that.

Yeah, I do. Look, this is simple, babe. Right?

If you look good, you feel good.

And if you feel good, you do good.

BABY YELLS

-Well what about Louie?

-We'll take him with us.

Look, this is on me, OK? It's my idea, so it's my treat.

That is so sweet of you.

Come on.

Steven?

You know what you were saying,

about babies and kids...

I didn't mean for it to sound funny.

It would be lovely for Louie to have a little brother or sister.

But with everything that I've got going on right now...

Including this interview.

-Well, yeah.

-Which you are going to rock.

Trust me.

See you soon.

-Hey, have you got a password for the account?

-The account?

Yeah, the brewery account. I need to sort out the next delivery.

Oh, you'd better ask Shirley. I don't normally deal with that.

Look, um, Lady Di...

She's been... She's like one of the family.

So, if anything happened to her...

The straw that broke the camel's back, eh?

-Well, she ain't croaked it yet.

-No, I didn't mean it like that. I was...

So why did you say it, then?

Your mum told me what you did.

About how you asked her not to talk

to Mrs Lund about me.

You didn't need to do that.

I didn't deserve it.

Your mum said it.

Sharon said it.

And I'm saying it too.

I'm sorry, Bex.

I really am, OK?

For everything.

Mick, for the 50th time, I told you.

I will call you as soon as I know. OK?

-Shouldn't you be at work?

-Yeah, I need the password.

-What?

-For the brewery account.

-What for?

Well, they won't let me in for this week's order without it.

Yeah, well, I'll be back in a bit.

-I thought maybe I could do it. Help take the strain.

-What?

By poking your nose into things that don't concern you?

Well, I am meant to be managing the bar.

Well, if you don't like it, you know where the door is.

-No, I'm not a quitter.

-Is that why they call you Woody?

Because that's what you've got between your ear holes?

Abi, ask your boss to pull his finger out.

Today's my day off, but last I heard they were still doing tests.

But they've been doing tests on her since she's been in there.

-How many more have they got to do?

-Well, they do have to send off for the results.

-Take your time.

They probably have got other animals to sort out, Shirl.

-Yeah, just one or two(!)

-It's probably just doing everyone's head in waiting like this.

Yeah, and it's doing my head in that muppets like you are hanging about.

Do you know what? I'll see you back at the Vic, all right?

You do pick up on bad vibes when things are wrong.

And we have been flat out and the vets don't really talk to the

receptionist, but I haven't picked up any bad vibes about Lady Di.

I really haven't.

MOBILE RINGS

We'll find out, shall we?

This is your man.

Nah, this thing's shot.

Yeah, should be, along with my landlord!

I must have lost half a day's takings,

waiting in for his non-existent engineer.

Never mind an engineer. Should call a priest!

Give this the last rites!

He's... He's furnished the place OK, though.

-No, he ain't.

-Look at that TV.

-That's mine.

He did the place up fine when I first moved in.

Hasn't lifted a finger since and if anything goes wrong,

he just don't want to know. Even had the brass neck to stick me for a rent increase

a couple of months back. He should be paying me to live in this pigsty!

Even upstairs moved out cos they were sick of him and all!

You should look for somewhere else.

Yeah, well, there's a couple of bins outside the Vic.

Maybe I should put my name down for one of them.

I reckon you could do better than that.

Ta.

Anything? I saw Kathy. She said you should hear something today.

-Er, no, nothing yet.

-Bad news for Craig Revel Horwood.

I've been giving him so many cuddles these past couple of days,

-he's started bolting every time he sees me.

-Aw!

-Carmel's cat.

-Oh, yeah. Nice name.

-Most people think it's weird.

No, I meant Carmel.

Oh. Charmer.

-Mick must be going nuts.

-He ain't the only one.

-I can't concentrate.

-He's hardly been off the phone since it happened.

He never even wanted a dog. It was our idea.

Mine and Nancy's, to keep mum company while Lee was away.

Next thing we knew, she was following him about everywhere.

You hear that, don't you? Once a pet latches on to someone, that's it.

Yeah, well, it ain't just Lady Di. You know what Mick's like.

If he goes it without her, it's like he ain't dressed.

They say that too. You can't imagine life with a pet.

Then you get one and you can't imagine life without it.

She has lasted this long, though.

I mean, you'd think if something bad was going to happen...

The vet's just rang.

There's loads of space. Just take a look round.

I ain't moving from this radiator. Not for the next hour, at least.

That's not a problem you'd have if you lived here,

what with two mechanics on tap to sort out your chair if it

packed up again, or any other little problem.

Having no heating and no hot water ain't no little problem, believe me.

It'd be sorted. Straightaway.

OK, fair enough, Donna.

So, your telly wouldn't fit in your room,

but it'd fit perfectly over there.

Yeah, especially now yours has been nicked.

And the rent would be a lot cheaper than you're paying now.

There's a downstairs khazi.

And you've got two awesome gents to come home to every night.

So, are you and Jay moving out, then?

Well, if it don't suit, just say so. Me and Jay can find someone else.

You can go back to your flat.

DOOR SLAMS SHUT

What do you say?

About what?

You might just be looking at our new tenant.

Hi.

He wants us to go and see him, but no ill effects due to the accident.

The cage saved her. She can come home today.

Oh! I've been going out of my mind!

-Never.

-I know I've hidden it well.

-Does Mick know?

Ne nearly deafened me when I rang him. I'm surprised you didn't hear him from Bulgaria.

-I'm going to go and get her basket.

-I'll get some toys.

-I'll stick some grub in and all.

-Hang on.

Who's going to look after this place?

At last.

-We have a use for the missing link.

-Yeah, I'm really happy for you.

-I'm quite happy for myself.

-Let's throw a party.

You and Lady Di are both back where you belong.

-And I know the perfect music we can have as well.

-Oh, don't tell me.

-Tie A Yellow Ribbon?

-Who Let The Dogs Out!

LAUGHTER

Oh, Johnny! You are funny!

-In here.

-What?

Right. What is your problem?

Well, hang on a minute. I'm trying to sort our problem.

-Donna?

-Yeah.

-Have you gone raving mad?

-What's your agg with Donna?

-I haven't got no agg with Donna.

-It don't sound like it.

Well, not as a mate, or to have a drink with at the Vic,

-but certainly not to live here.

-Why not?

Because... Well, because she's ancient, for starters.

-So was Michelle.

-Well, Michelle's different.

-How?

I can just see Donna if we have a party.

Wheeling in, in her dressing gown,

telling everyone to keep the noise down.

Wall-to-wall totty. That's what I thought we were going to have here.

Supermodels in every room.

I wouldn't have even minded a bloke for you.

Yeah, well, supermodels are a bit thin on the ground in this

-manor, in case you ain't noticed.

-Well, even so, there is

no reason for us to have to settle for the likes of Donna.

Settle?!

-The likes of?!

-Nice one, Jay.

For your information, this ain't exactly my dream gaff neither.

-OK, let's all just calm down.

-Shacking up with some stupid kids!

-Oi! I ain't a kid!

-And a murderer!

-OK, let's just keep this simple.

-Not the only thing around here.

All right, your flat's like a fridge, yeah?

Your landlord's rubbish. This place is sweet and the landlords...

Well, as good as, they're on tap.

Now, we need a tenant.

Who's got a 48 inch TV.

So this solves both of our problems. Right?

-Right, let's get going.

-We can't.

-Why not?

-Cos Woody ain't here.

-Where is he?

-Hang on.

-You've been telling him to get lost ever since he got here and now he has...

-Well, you can stay, then.

Tracey can't run the bar on her own and Sharon's not in till later on.

-Yeah, so why me?

-Because there's no-one else.

You don't even like Lady Di. You keep telling us enough times.

Big softie.

-Where have you been?

-We've all got to go down the vet's.

-What's that?

I just picked it up from the market. It's a welcome home present from me.

That's almost nice.

Right, let's go.

TOY SQUEAKS That's going to drive me mad!

TOY SQUEAKS

Um, Teen was right. That was nice.

Almost.

KNOCKS ON DOOR

Oh...!

-What now?

-I don't get this!

A couple of days ago, you were looking out for

me at telling your mum to keep me out of trouble,

and no, Bex, I don't expect to say sorry and everything's right, but...

What is it going to take for you to get this?

You should have realised what they were like, Louise.

And you should never have let them use you like that.

If you would have stood up for me when I asked you to,

if you'd have told Mrs Lund what has been going on,

then this would have been over weeks ago.

So why stick up for me with your mum like that?

Because you're not as bad as them.

But I still don't want anything to do with you.

-I'm just trying to apologise here, OK?

-As far as I'm concerned...

..me and you are finished.

All right, so there's me and Abi, right? And then...

Babe, hang on.

Oh, what now?

Steven, honestly, you've done enough for me.

You didn't let me pick your outfit, did you?

You still paid for it.

Yeah, so let me pick you some flowers.

TEXT ALERT

Oh, you're blushing.

Must be working already.

Hi.

Saw Bex on the square.

I saw her just now, back in her house.

And?

It's all right, there's no secrets here.

Well, I did what you said. No, I did what I wanted to do too.

-You apologised?

-I might as well not have bothered.

Threw it back in your face, did she?

You don't sound too surprised.

Well, I'd be amazed if she hadn't.

So, what was the idea, then? Really rub my nose in it?

MOBILE RINGS Hi, Phil.

Everything's fine.

I'm going over to the Vic to do some work.

Our record was a few months.

Me and Sharon.

That's how long we went without talking to each other once.

I thought you and her were friends for life.

Doesn't mean we've been friends all our lives.

No, well, I suppose you sleeping with her dad might have caused

a few problems.

Yeah. Did cast the odd shadow.

So, Bex will come round? Is that what you're saying?

You made the first move. That'll mean something.

And Sharon's right. Don't give up on her.

Then maybe, she won't give up on you.

TOY SQUEAKS

TOY SQUEAKS

TOY SQUEAKS

-Will you stop that?!

-Lady Di's going to love it.

It's almost as annoying as he is.

Oh, here he is, the miracle worker.

-How is she?

-I did say I needed a word.

Aw!

What's all this?

I just thought we could have a nice relaxing evening together.

Have some good food, get in the right frame of mind for your interview tomorrow...

-Steven...

-..which you are going to smash, OK? I just know it.

I don't know what to say.

There's nothing to say.

-But...

-What?

You know, Louie's fast asleep.

Dinner's going to be another 30 minutes, or so.

-So if I'm wondering how to thank you, you mean?

-Well...

I really should be cramming for my interview, babe.

Yeah.

But...

Well, after all this, and everything today,

how can I say no?

Go upstairs. I'll meet you in a minute.

Go on.

We've been running a few tests while Lady Di's been with us.

-Yeah, you said they came back clear.

-I didn't quite say that.

Yes, you did.

She's recovered very well from the injuries relating to the accident.

But...?

Lady Di has a form of pneumonia,

little helped by the problem in her throat.

And she needs treating.

Urgently. In a specialist unit.

That's why I wanted you to come in, to explain this face to face.

But you said that we could take her home.

Yeah, we've got all her stuff with us.

Lady Di is stabilised well enough to go home for now,

but to get this treated, I will need to refer her. OK. So do it.

If you know what the problem is, just fix it.

I'm afraid it's not quite that simple either.

I'm sorry, I don't know what's not simple about it.

-It's a rather expensive course of treatment.

-Yeah, but she's insured.

-You know that.

-Not for this.

-What?!

-Why not?

-Your policy excludes any pre-existing conditions.

This ain't pre-existing.

-She's never thrown up like this before.

-I'm afraid it is, Mr Carter.

This is a condition Lady Di's had for a long time.

The reason she's vomiting now is because it's getting worse.

A lot worse.

-So, you're saying that we have to pay for this, yeah?

-Yes.

How much is it?

In the region of £6-8,000, but it is vital, I'm afraid.

If she gets this treatment, it's likely she'll make

a full recovery and the pneumonia won't get any worse.

We haven't got that kind of money.

If she doesn't have the treatment...?