24/04/2017 EastEnders

DRIPPING

TEXT ALERT

DOG WHINES

Can you believe that after five o'clock today,

I'm never going to have to worry about this dissertation again.

And we'll never have to listen to you going on about it either.

No, no, no. Tina, leave them up. I've got some pies left over from

the wholesalers. I'm doing a pie and pint special.

What's that got to do with the flag?

I'm going to call it St George or George II or something like that.

-How many of them have you had?

-It's my third. Come on, let's brainstorm.

-I'm thinking flags, St George's dragons, pints, pies.

-Pies?! No.

I'm not cleaning them toilets again tomorrow.

-Not after what I just found in there.

-BOTH:

-Gun, not me!

-I stink.

-I'm glad you said it, not me.

Why don't we just do a normal food thing, you know?

It's always quiet on a Monday night.

Not interrupting your mothers' meeting, am I?

-No. Woody wants to do another St George's thing.

-Yeah.

We took so much behind the bar yesterday, I just want to keep the momentum going.

A handful of good days behind the bar ain't going to get us the

six grand we need.

-I'm going to call the vet later and set a date.

-Shirl, not yet.

Are you sure we can't apply to some animal charity?

Don't drive me mad, Johnny!

Look, just give us a few days, yeah? Maybe we can come up with something.

-We could start a collection.

-Tina, everybody round here's skint.

-You got any better ideas?

-Fine.

You want to go round the Square looking like an idiot,

shaking a bucket in front of people's faces...

Come on, girl.

You know where we are, don't you?

Between a rock and a hard place.

Talking to yourself, Shirley? First sign of madness!

-Oh, what you don't know is, she talks back when there's no-one about.

-Oh, what she say?

That we noticed that you turn up for work after the bogs have been cleaned.

This manicure costs far too much to ruin with bleach.

-Doesn't stop you bleaching your hair though, does it?

-That's pure salon, I'll have you know.

And I've come in early to help you out, so be grateful.

I'd be grateful if you went inside and left me alone.

Look, I know you've had a tough week.

Buried me mum, ceiling fell in,

and now we've got to have the family pet put down.

But of an understatement, don't you think?

Are you sure you've considered all the options for Lady Di?

-Of course I have.

-Shirley, you don't have to carry the weight of this on your own.

There are people around here who want to help.

If you weren't so stubborn, you'd see that.

Max. Can you meet me in the caf at half-ten?

-What are you doing here?

-Wanted to get the bus in to school with you, innit.

-So you know there's really no hard feelings. Are there?

-No.

We're cool, aren't we?

Yeah, course. Let me just grab my jacket and we can go.

You definitely don't want to forget anything.

They're really clamping down.

Do you think we'll hear anything about the showcase this afternoon?

-They said we would.

-I really hoped we were doing Grease,

but I suppose anything will be fun, won't it?

If I have to ask them to put the toilet seat down one more time!

Why can't you put it down?

Because I wasn't the one that keeps putting it up!

-At least the place has got heating, though.

-I feel your pain.

Imagine what it was like with Umar and three boys.

With bad aim!

Oh, the joys of house sharing(!)

-Just to clarify, I do not have a bad aim.

-Huh.

Anyway, I was just on my way to grab a paper cos apparently,

they're done a big spread on the Fayre.

Yeah? Maybe they name-checked you in it.

-No, I doubt it.

-Why?

I thought it was brilliant, what you said to the Mayor, wasn't it?

-Yeah, you are the Erin Brockovich of Walford and Kush is your biggest fan.

-Yeah.

Well done, Denise, for getting things sorted that other people couldn't.

Oh, is that Shaki? Should have gone to school by now.

But I don't have any training packs here.

And I'm supposed to be doing a push on corned beef today.

Right, well, I'm just going to have to manage then, aren't I?

Yeah. Bye.

Problem?

Your permanent replacement's starting today and that

Mr Beckett, well, he was supposed to be doing their induction.

He's phoned in sick. Asked me to do it.

I'm sure you can train someone up with your eyes closed.

Yeah, I could, but what with the promotions and the customers,

and the deliveries, it's...

Sorry.

Anyway, listen, good picture of you

-with the Mayor and Kush in the paper.

-Really?

Yeah.

You should get it framed.

Yeah. Maybe.

Everyone's really impressed with you, you know?

Yeah, well, not quite everyone.

-Carmel.

-Oh.

I don't know. It just seems like every time I get within

a few centimetres of Kush, her face drops.

Maybe she's still feeling a little bit uncomfortable. Give her time.

She'll come round.

No, look, when you sell the freehold, you're not selling the business.

The company will own the building and the land and you lot will be leaseholders.

You'd still own the pub.

If someone bought a flat in a block, they'd own the flat,

-but they don't necessarily own the block, do they?

-OK.

Then, after that, you'd have enough money to pay off all your debts,

your mortgage and, well, definitely Lady Di's operation.

-And this company is your boss's?

-No, I work for someone else.

You're taking business away from your boss?

My boss has got bigger fish to fry than some backstreet pub.

I've partnered with this company Grafton Hill a couple of times before and they're great.

They've got a really good track record of turning round failing pubs.

Not that the Vic's failing, you know what I mean?

But I'm sure you wouldn't say no to earning a bit more.

And they're not going to interfere with the running of the pub?

-They're not one of these pubco...?

-No, definitely not.

-Cos Linda and Mick, they wouldn't stand for that.

-Elaine's had murders with hers.

-No, all it is, as owners of the building, Grafton Hill would take

a fixed rent, and then they'd take a turnover rent if profits go above a certain level.

-All they're really worried about is the pub's doing the best business it can.

-Right.

And that's it. I'll leave you to think about it, yeah?

I've got another meeting.

What? You're not going to give me the hard sell?

Nah. Only you know what's best for Mick, Linda and, well, Lady Di.

See you.

Cheers.

TEXT ALERT

CLATTERS

I'll sort it out.

Sharon's just text. To remind us Michelle's up in front of the magistrates later this week.

So we can finally put it all to bed.

Oh? Has Louie been throwing his food around again?

No, that was me, actually. Sorry.

You haven't been yourself all weekend.

-You still worrying about how that interview went?

-No, I haven't thought about that at all, actually.

It's good you're not stressing about it.

Hasn't been a whole work day yet, has it? When I do interviews,

-I like to leave them hanging for at least a week. Makes them hungry for it.

-Oh, Ian.

Let me take you out, get your mind off it.

We could go shopping, or we could take Louie to the park.

Steven, you done all that for me last week.

You really don't need to fuss.

Come on, little man.

She is definitely more bothered than she is letting on.

Rejection's good for her, OK?

It'll make her a much stronger candidate and considering how

poor her interview technique was with me, I'm really not surprised.

Look, I know she said she didn't want a fuss, but when I say that,

I don't always mean it.

So why don't me and you go shopping? I can help you buy something nice.

Something to make her feel good about herself.

Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.

And I could get Abi to bring some lunch round for her,

see if she can get her to open up a bit more.

Right, lads, we've only got a steak and kidney left,

which in my opinion is the only pie really worth having.

None of this chicken and mushroom malarkey. Go on, then. Yeah? Sweet.

-Nice one. I'll bring them over.

-Cheers, mate.

What have you got against chicken and mushroom?

I just don't think it's one of life's greatest flavour

-combinations.

-Really?!

-Yeah, it's like pineapple on pizza.

It's like...Urgh! It's horrible. Anyway, if we keep going like this,

we'll do better than we did yesterday.

-I thought you worked in the pub trade for years.

-Well, yeah, I have.

So then you'd know that an ordinary Monday night ain't going to

beat a St George's Day.

You want to bet?

-You can't bear to be wrong, can you?

-No.

-Go on, then. What's the bet?

-All right.

Um, you win, I'll wear one of your dresses behind here tomorrow night.

OK. And then if I lose?

You have to wear one of my dodgy T-shirts as a dress.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-You're on.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Sweet.

-You done?

-Yeah.

Just got to collect the bound copy from the printers to hand in.

Oh, well done, Brains!

Don't call me that.

Oh, um, seeing as most of you are here, can I run something by you?

I'm thinking about doing like a ladies' night tomorrow night,

like Linda used to do.

-We could do cocktails again, get some entertainment in.

-No can do.

Tomorrow night's quiz night.

Yeah, but it'll bring more punters in.

Lots of people come here just for the quiz.

Shirl, what do you think?

I suppose you've got to earn your keep somehow.

Fine.

See you lot later.

-Linda just called.

-You didn't say anything, did you?

-No.

-Good. That goes for all of you.

Come on, Marie. You know me.

I ain't going to fleece anybody out of any money or anything, am I?

You know I can't agree without Kathy being here.

Oh, thanks, Billy.

I had a ferret once.

Lovely little thing, it was, but he died, so I know how it feels.

Tell Shirl we can postpone the first instalment of our fees for

Sylvie's funeral, if it helps.

Oh, thank you.

-What are they?

-Window boxes.

Jane's new hobby.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yeah, Donna took us to this amazing club on Saturday near

Spring Lane. We were supposed to go out tonight, but the boys don't want to.

Lightweights. So it's just going to be me and Donna.

Since when were you and Donna best mates?

Oh, she's just fun, that's all.

Anyway, what about you?

-Steven said you're pretty miserable about this job interview.

-Good.

That's why you're here then. No, I'm not miserable.

I don't even care about this job.

It's just made me realise how much I need a new challenge, you know?

Like?

I think I should hand my notice in at the internship, I do.

I think I should be focusing on getting a full-time job.

Do you think that's a good idea?

Jobs just don't fall into people's laps.

You might be out of a job for months.

Well, it's a bit more productive than going out drinking every night, ain't it?

And by the way, Abi, just because you have been out on a few nights

out with your new pal Donna, don't exactly make you rock and roll.

I should go.

See you later.

Oh, and jealousy's an ugly trait, Lauren.

Things to cover with new starter.

Displays, special offers,

best before versus sell by dates.

-Oh, hiya.

-Hi.

I suppose it's too much to hope that you're my new starter?

-I mean, they were supposed to be here this afternoon.

-No, sorry.

Punctuality, lateness and absences.

Look, I can see that you're really busy.

-I just wondered if I could leave my collection bucket here.

-Sorry, Tina. Company policy.

We can only collect for registered charities.

Things to also cover, advertising,

flyers and charity collections.

If anyone saw you like this,

they might think you actually have a heart.

Well, when I sign her death warrant, they'll realise that I ain't.

Look, I've had an idea for a fundraiser for her.

What about if we change the name of the pub to the Lady Di for

the weekend and then like for one day only,

we do like a fun dog fundraiser thing and charge people to come in.

It's not going to work.

The only reason I let Tina do the collection is I don't want

her moping round here all day.

-Well, from what I know about you...

-Which you don't.

-From what I know about you,

you ain't the kind of person to just give up.

You keep going till it's sorted. Am I right?

There's a company that's...

-..interested in buying the freehold of this place.

-That's great.

-Mick and Linda won't go for it.

-How do you know?

-You've been ignoring her calls all day.

-Because they've worked so hard.

It's all they've ever wanted was the freehold.

-Well, I mean, if you ask me...

-And I'm not.

Lady Di means a lot more to them than bricks and mortar.

And if that's the only way to save her, then what's the problem?

Are you going to buy that magazine or are you going to stand there reading it all day?

Sorry, it just had an article I was interested in.

Oh.

Look, Carmel,

it's probably normal to feel a bit funny about...

-You know.

-Oh, I don't.

Maybe I do.

Isn't it a good thing that they're in love?

Isn't it what you'd want for them both?

I suppose so.

Perhaps if you spent more time with them, rather than less, I mean...

-Maybe that would help.

-All right, Honey? Have you got any nice boxes of chocolates?

-Yeah, just there, Max.

-Oh, cheers. You all right?

-Mm.

-You look smart.

Thanks.

I've got a meeting at the council later, that shadowing role.

-You got it?

-Mm.

-Oh, well done.

-Thanks to your help.

-Oh, no.

-You'd probably be good at this. What box would you like someone to buy you?

-What, for your girls?

-That one.

-No, going on a date.

-Oh. Right. Um...

-That one, then.

-Oh, cool. Cheers.

-Yeah.

-Well, good luck with your meeting.

-Thanks.

-See you.

I suppose you're going to say I told you so.

No, I'm not.

You tried.

Yeah, but it ain't good enough, though, is it?

Sorry.

What have you got to be sorry about, you soppy cow?

If I hadn't pushed for such an expensive funeral for Mum,

we'd be able to afford the operation, wouldn't we?

Tina,

you are not to blame for the ceiling falling in.

Or Babe messing up the business,

or Lee racking up all those debts that Mick took on.

Or the bills we aren't able to pay.

That's why we can't afford the operation.

It's not because of Mum's funeral.

What are we going to do, Shirl?

-Hang on, Jane. Let me give you a hand.

-No, I'm fine. I'm fine.

Oh, come on, don't be daft. Here we go.

-Oh, thank you.

-There we are.

Steven's been fussing over me all day.

It's good for me to try to do things on my own.

I saw you two heading out this morning. Did you go anywhere nice?

He needed a second opinion on how to cheer up Lauren.

And he asked you over Ian?!

-Strange, I know.

-Yeah. See you later.

Oh, Abi. How was your lunch with Lauren?

Why? What's she said?

Well, nothing. I just wondered if she seemed any happier.

Oh, right. Well, you know Lauren. She likes to dwell.

Abs, who's your new friend?

Oh, I picked it up for some old lady who can't get to the vet.

But I'm looking forward to tonight.

I thought maybe we could meet before, line our stomachs.

Didn't anyone tell you? Eating's cheating!

Not if it means you can drink more.

Spoken like a true pro. I'll see you later.

Hey, you're cultivating a proper little Mini Me with that one!

Well, you don't ask to be a role model, Kush, you just are one,

-you know?

-Yeah.

-Kushy?

-Hey.

-You all right, Mum? Good day?

-Yeah.

I'm just heading off to my meeting at the council and I was

wondering, well, I was thinking maybe it'd be nice if

me and you and Denise went to the quiz night at the Vic tomorrow.

Together.

I mean, you know, if you want to.

If you've got any other plans...

I'll have to check with Denise, but you know what?

I think that sounds great.

-You do?

-Yeah.

You do! Brilliant! Yeah.

-Um, well, I'll see you tomorrow, then.

-Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry but this isn't really the best start for

a new staff member.

Well, in fact, it's an enormous headache.

I'll have to go. Bye-bye.

It's a bit embarrassing, but I think I'm the person responsible

for your enormous headache.

-You're the new assistant?

-Afraid so!

And I can only apologise for being late.

Our mother always used to say to us to be early is to be on time, to be

on time is to be late and to be late is unacceptable and I am mortified.

Yeah, that's fine. What happened?

I left my Freedom card at home.

So I went back to get it and of course, being the fool that I

am, I left my telephone and of course, I couldn't ring you.

And so I can only apologise once more and say please can we

get stuck right in?

I could start by having a go at that corned beef display of yours.

Somebody made a right hash of that!

-Ooh!

-So? Did Jane and me do good?

-Yeah.

So did Ian, by the looks of it!

Yeah, well, he does pay attention sometimes.

It's a good job I bought some bedding plants while we were out.

Look, I really do appreciate all this, but you didn't need to.

-I just want you to be happy.

-I am.

-Did you hear from um...?

-No.

No. But you know what?

-I made a decision and I handed in my notice for my internship.

-Oh.

-Really?

-Yeah.

Abi said it was a stupid idea, but I feel really good about it.

Babe, if it's what you want, then I'm behind you, a million percent.

especially as it means we're going to get to spend so much more time together. Starting tonight.

We're going to make ourselves scarce, so you can enjoy the gifts.

-Plate of chips, please.

-Louise!

-Why weren't you at Drama Club?

Didn't you get my text?

Mrs Golding gave me detention cos I left my textbooks at home again.

-Oh, no.

-What?

We saw these on the bus. We didn't realise they were yours.

Oh, I'm such an idiot!

So, did they tell you what the drama showcase is going to be?

There's basically going to be loads of different acts and people

can pretty much do what they want.

-Oh, right.

-Yeah, it's basically just a talent show.

-Oh, so maybe I could do something from Grease then.

-Maybe.

They said anyone who misses two rehearsals in a row will be chucked out.

-So probably best you don't forget your books again, innit?

-No, I definitely won't.

-She still sulking upstairs?

-She's stressed. We all are.

Yeah.

What? I never said nothing.

-It's still early yet, you know?

-Mm-hm.

-Yeah?

-Turn round for me, will you?

-Why?

-I want to see which one of my dresses you'd look better in.

-Something that shows off my natural curves, I hope.

-Oh, yeah.

Here, ladies, can I tempt you with one of our special pie and

-pint offers we've got going on at the moment?

-No, thanks. I'm not mad on offal.

-Come on, I'll do you both a deal.

-I admire your persistence, but no.

All right, well, tomorrow night, we're doing a ladies' night.

There's going to be drinks offers, cocktails, entertainment.

-It's going to be amazing.

-What? Isn't it quiz night tomorrow?

No. You will not want to miss out.

Oh, sounds good.

I could do with a proper night out.

I can't exactly invite Kush and Denise to some low rent

ladies' night, can I?

I don't know. They might enjoy it.

Kush might get up and do a turn for us, if we're lucky.

That is my son you are talking about.

DOG WHINES

Don't look at me like that.

CONTINUES WHINING

You all right?

Hey?

-You all right, babe?

-Yeah.

Leave that. Leave that, come and sit down. You deserve a rest.

Come on.

I reckon we've got an hour or so before everyone gets home.

I couldn't be more proud of you.

Making such a big decision like this, you know, for us.

For us as a family.

Being able to spend so much more time together,

it's just going to do us the world of good, especially Louie.

Um, Steven, look...

You know, me...

Me quitting my job...

You know that I love spending time with you and Louie, obviously,

but...you also know that I want to focus on my career.

And me quitting my internship,

that was so I could focus on getting a better full-time job.

Right.

Yeah. Course.

I'm so lucky to have you.

I wouldn't be able to do any of this without you.

Do you think I've given Steven and Lauren enough time to...you know?

Judging by most men, I think you've been more than generous.

Stay for another one.

I'll um... Actually, I'll just nip to the loo.

-I'll get on the way back.

-OK.

It's really quiet in here.

Me and you are going to fall out in a minute.

-How did the date go?

-Can you keep a secret?

-My lips are sealed.

I got stood up.

Oh.

What did you do with the chocolates?

Scoffed them.

-I've been there.

-How was your meeting?

-It was actually really good.

-Oh, that's good.

I'll buy you a drink, if you want. Just let me know when you're around.

All right.

-What's all this?

-We're celebrating getting our dissertations in.

-And I said we had a deal on.

-Congratulations, all of you!

A load of students wanting to celebrate?

-SNIFFS

-Ooh, I smell success.

Who knew Brains would have come through for me?

How can you all be so happy when we've got so much hanging over us?

Tina?

Is she all right?

Yeah, I think she's just finding the whole situation a bit difficult.

-I could go and cheer her up, if you want.

-Don't be disgusting!

-You thought any more about...?

-Yeah. I have.

-And?

You're right. I'm going to go over and see Linda.

Try and persuade her to sell the freehold on this place.