25/04/2017 EastEnders

You all right?

Didn't expect to hear from you so quick.

I went to see Linda last night.

Oh, yeah?

She's got her concerns.

Yeah, course.

But we sat and we talked it through,

and she thinks it's the right thing to do to sell the freehold.

-So, what now?

-Right.

Well, I'll speak to my contact at Grafton Hill and then they'll

be in touch to get the ball rolling. You know, paperwork and all that.

Well, can we have anything today?

I dunno. You can't really rush these things.

Look, I know you're keen to get Lady Di sorted out as quick as you can,

so what I'll do, I'll get all the contracts couriered over to Linda's.

That'll speed things along.

-Thanks.

-No worries.

You over being stood up yet?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm made of pretty strong stuff.

All right, Abs?

Yeah. Yeah. I'm just collecting lunches for the Vic.

But I overslept a bit, didn't I,

-so I'm running late.

-I won't keep you.

You don't fancy a night out tonight, do you?

Uh, yeah. Why?

Just want to treat my girls, that's all.

Oh. You're inviting Lauren, too?

-Yeah. I'm going to pop round there now. All right?

-Uh-huh.

-See you later.

-See you.

And, then, the next thing you know, she barred me!

I cannot believe the cheek!

I'm sure that's all forgotten now.

I'm just disappointed that they've cancelled their quiz night tonight.

Their quiz is a bit overrated, if you ask me.

One round of drinks as the prize? Do me a favour.

And then people say that Ian Beale, he's tight.

Me and Kush and Denise were going to be a team.

-Oh, right.

-Yeah.

-I see.

-It's a shame to miss out on that.

But do you think there's lots of other people that are looking for

an alternative to the quiz night?

Well, I suppose.

Not everyone will want to go to a ladies' night, will they?

No.

Anyway. People to go.

Places to see.

Er, I know people with hangovers get the munchies

but that's a little bit extreme.

It's for the Vic.

Even looking at it is making me feel sick.

That would be all the Jagerbombs.

Don't know how I'm going to get through my shift.

You'll have Woody to look at.

True. My dad wants to meet up tonight, too.

I'm giving my liver a rest for a few days.

But I will think of you

when I'm having my relaxing home spa treatments.

Not.

See you later.

See you.

Abi's up for it. I just thought it would be nice.

Special occasion?

No, don't have to be, does it?

If it's going to be a bit awkward, babe, you don't have to go.

Why's that?

-Oh, nothing.

-Lauren and Abi had a little row yesterday.

I just wondering if it might be a bit uncomfortable.

Yeah. They're sisters. You think it's the first time

-they would've fallen out?

-Yeah, it'll be fine.

-Yeah. Right,

I'd better get back to work. See you later.

Bye. See you.

Babe, I was kind of hoping we'd have another night in together.

Ian ain't even given you the night off yet,

so I didn't think it was going to be a problem.

Anyway, we can do that any time, can't we?

Right, come on, you. Let's get you dressed. Say bye-bye.

LAUREN CHUCKLES

Let's do this!

Oh, Johnny, you look like you had fun last night.

I'm regretting it now.

-It's good to let off some steam. It's healthy.

-Yeah, well,

some of us are still too stressed to let off steam.

Shouldn't you be at work, Tina?

Kathy's extended my compassionate leave.

Then tell her you'll be back sooner rather than later.

-Why? What's happened?

-Is everything all right?

It's fine. At least it will be.

-You've sorted out the money?

-I met up with Linda last night.

-You finally told her about Lady Di?

-Yeah.

And we come up with the solution.

-We're going to sell the freehold of this place.

-What?

-Wait, you can't do that!

-Well, why not?

Most of the pubs I worked in have been leasehold only.

My mum and dad did the same when they had this place.

-Because Mick won't agree to that.

-Well, what other options do we have?

It's a good way to release some equity.

Yeah, but what does it mean in practical terms?

It means that we'll have enough money

to pay for Lady Di's operation,

pay off all our debts and still have change to spare.

Well, then, that's amazing.

Yeah, if Mick has agreed to it.

Well, Linda decided... We both decided...

to keep Mick out of it for the time being.

See, I knew it. This is his business and all, you know.

You can't make a decision this big without his say so.

Me and your mum are sorting it.

-How?

-You don't have to worry about that.

Look, Mick has been running this place practically on his own

-for the last couple of months.

-We have been trying to help.

Well, this is a way to take the pressure off a bit.

So, if anybody speaks to him, keep your mouth shut.

Tonight, at The Albert, OK,

it's something a little bit different, OK?

Just a little bit different. It's a music quiz.

Sounds good.

Now, look. Tell all your friends, tell everybody.

We've got better prizes than the Vic.

We've got a whole crate of champagne.

Look, Kim, as much as I'd love to come and smash your music quiz,

me and Stace, we're going to stay in tonight.

Martin, you and your wife can get jiggy at any time.

Tonight might be your only chance to be crowned

the music maestro of the Square.

-Think about it.

-Kim's Criss Quiz?

-Crisps?

As in "criss." As in "good."

I take it that, you know, you two are coming with D.

Actually, D said she'd better stay at home and revise.

Oh. Right.

Well, maybe we could still go, just the two of us?

It'd be nice to spend some time together.

No, actually... Actually, you need a minimum of three in a team.

So, if D thinks that she can get away with bailing out on

another quiz night, she's got another think coming.

Yeah!

Martin, I want to see you there.

Hi, honey, how you doing?

COMPUTER BLEEPS

What's that?

Oh, I've set up an alert to let me know when jobs that I could do

turn up on this recruitment site.

Is there much out there?

Well, I've submitted my CV to at least 20 jobs today.

So, if I can do that every day, then something's bound to turn up.

I think it's great how organised you're being.

Yeah, well, I just hope it's worth it.

Mick?

It's me. Erm...

I need to talk to you.

So, give me a call when you get this, yeah? Bye.

You're a braver person than me going up against Shirl like that.

He deserves to know.

Well, don't you think that's Linda's decision to make, not yours?

I mean, at the end of the day, we just work here.

Everything else ain't really none of our business, is it?

Yeah. Well, if you'd seen what he's been through and how much

this place really means to him, you wouldn't be saying that.

No, I would. Cos I know my place.

And if you want to keep yours, don't call him again.

Now, what you should be worrying about is what I'm going to be

making you wear tonight for losing our bet.

Yeah, bye.

Linda's signed the contracts. She's sending them over later on.

-That's brilliant.

-Should have a celebration tonight, eh?

-Get the karaoke machine out and all?

-We want to bring the punters in,

not scare them away with you belting out Sam Fox.

Now that's the Shirley Carter we know and love.

I don't see why we couldn't have just done this later on

-in the week, and do the quiz as normal.

-Brains, if you mention

this quiz one more time, I swear, mate, I'm going to lose it.

I'm going to see if Abi needs a hand in the kitchen.

He is SO hungover.

-You won't say nothing about...

-Are you going to drop it?

Yeah.

See, already forgotten.

Now, what we going to do about Brains? He's so uptight.

Yeah, you would be and all if you had all this to deal with,

and your exams on top of that.

I think he just needs to let loose a bit.

Hello, Rowan? Yeah, yeah, it's Woody, mate. How you doing, pal?

Listen, are you and Luke free tonight?

Nah, nah, it's gotta be Luke.

I've got someone I want him to meet.

-You've got ages till your first exam.

-Not really.

And I've still got all these practice questions to work through.

One night's not going to hurt, is it? In fact...

it'll probably do you well.

How do you work that out?

Well, you know, it's science.

The more relaxed you are, the more things sink in.

I read that.

Right.

Look, I know how much stress you've been under these last few months.

I just want to see you have some fun.

You know, you deserve it.

Well, I'll have plenty of time to relax once the exams are over.

Me and Kush are going on holiday.

Oh, yeah? You kept that quiet. Where are you going?

It's nothing fancy. We're just going camping.

Yeah, we got these vouchers out the paper,

so it's... It's practically free.

Why would you want to go camping for your first holiday together?

You know you're going to do your business in a bucket?

Yes, I think we'll manage.

No, Denise. Why don't you come with me and Vincent?

His mate is lending us his villa in Spain. For free!

Yeah? Its own pool, every room is an en suite.

None of this bucket business.

All you have to do is just pay for your flight. Yeah?

I don't think so.

I think it's still a bit out of our price range.

Uh, Denise. I just want to treat you, OK?

Why don't you and Kush talk about it at the quiz tonight?

Yeah?

I'll see you later!

SHE HUMS LOUDLY AND JOYFULLY

I did it exactly as you showed me.

Maybe we should have a break and have a cuppa,

come back to this later, eh?

MOBILE PHONE NOTIFICATION

Is it all right with you if we use UHT milk?

Actually, Derek, I really need to finish on time tonight.

Billy's just messaged me, he's taking me to a music quiz,

so haven't really got that long now.

Is that the one that Kim's doing?

I like a really good music quiz.

Well, if we're finishing early

I'd better have another go with this gun.

Right.

-Don't like it.

-Oi!

-Next week.

-What?

I've booked Lady Di's operation. It's nearly over.

Well, then we should have a karaoke.

I might be in a good mood, but the answer's still no.

Where is everyone, anyway?

Well, apparently Kim's having a quiz night at The Albert...

-What?

-Some sort of music quiz.

Oh, great.

Remind me which one this is again.

That's Woody's Pecker.

Yeah, it's nice. I like the colour.

Is it supposed to represent something?

You know what, I always had you down as a Sex on the Beach type of girl.

-That was awful.

-Yeah, I know it was. Can't blame me for trying though.

Don't think I've forgotten that

you're wearing something different tonight.

-What?

-Well, I won fair and square.

All right. I'll put it on when this place livens up.

Well, it's good I've got something up my sleeve

to do just that then, innit?

-You all right? We boring you?

-Nah. No, it's not that.

I've applied for loads of jobs today

and I'm already getting rejected from them.

Well, you're obviously applying for things you're not qualified for.

No, I think it's good, Lauren. You're being proactive.

Yeah, I'll put you in touch with a few people, if you want?

-You'd do that?

-Mm, yeah, course.

Thanks. Steven said he don't mind supporting us financially, but...

I just don't want to be too reliant on him.

Aren't you already? It's not like that internship paid you much.

He's been supporting you for months.

What exactly does Grandma Dot do for you, then?

-Grandma doesn't support me.

-Well, why are you still

living with her, then? Doesn't exactly fit in

with your "Oh, I'm so cool" thing that you've got going on.

Because if I wasn't there who else would be looking out for her?

-Well, we'd all pull our weight.

-Oh, like you do at the moment?

Girls, please. Now, I think you should stop

putting other people first and start thinking about your own needs.

-Shirley Carter?

-Yep?

Cheers.

I'm so pleased Kim persuaded you to come, Denise.

Well, my sister's very persuasive.

Yeah...

Well, with the brain power of all three of us, we are bound to win.

Specially with your knowledge

of S Club 7's back catalogue, eh, Mum?

Oh, yeah!

I really have needed this, Billy. You know, ever since Derek started,

I've been so tense, my shoulders are round by me ears.

Yeah, well, you ain't gotta worry about him tonight, have you, eh?

Erm, I hope you don't mind if I join you,

because Kim said you need a minimum of three for every team. OK?

KIM BLOWS INTO MIC

OK, so, welcome to our new weekly music quiz with your host,

Kimberly Fox-Hubbard...

APPLAUSE

Thank you, thank you. And my fit assistant,

my husband Vincent!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Remember, guys,

the best and the most generous quiz in Walford is here at The Albert.

So, there's going to be 40 questions with two points each

by naming the artist as well as the song title.

So, Vincent, please press play for the first track.

INSTRUMENTAL TRACK PLAYS

Right, that's Albatross by Fleetwood Mac.

Yeah, I know cos it was number one when I was born, so...

Not just a pretty face, eh?

Well done, Denise.

-OK, so, Vincent, could you please press the second track?

-Absolutely.

SKA TRACK PLAYS

Um...

isn't this not one of Patrick's CDs?

Is it? I dunno, I dunno.

You've rigged this so that Denise can win, haven't you?

What? No! I don't know what you're talking about.

SHE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

DOOR OPENS

Hey, sorry to disturb you.

Have you never heard of knocking?

Er, well, do you mind if my mates get changed up here?

Whatever.

All right, thanks. Right, come on, let's go.

You're meant to shoot them, not me.

Right, move, I'm going to throw the grenade. Ready?

-Boom!

-HE LAUGHS

What's up?

Is there nothing you can do that is a bit quieter?

Why don't you just go to your room?

I didn't expect you to actually go.

I'm not. I'm going to go wash this off and go to the Vic.

I thought you were having a quiet one.

That plan got ruined the minute you two idiots walked through the door.

FAST-PACED POP MUSIC PLAYS

La Roux!

She was at the forefront

of the synth-pop revival in the mid-noughties.

And her mum played June Ackland in The Bill.

Nah, I don't think I've heard this one before.

I know it.

Meat dress.

Lady Gaga.

-Is it, though?

-Yes, yes!

Listen to your mother, Kushy. Yes.

You all right, Carmel?

Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine! I'm with my son and my friend.

His...

girlfriend. And we're together, having fun, aren't we?

Yes, we are, Mum.

CARMEL LAUGHS Yeah.

No, no, no, stop, stop. That's the wrong song.

This is the one you told me to play.

No!

They're in the wrong case! Who put the CDs in the wrong cases?

Your sister, apparently!

Don't laugh. Look, you gotta help me!

We can't afford for someone else to win!

Hm?

I mean, we... We can't... We can't really...

BOTTLE HITS FLOOR Oh!

Sorry. Ah, dropped it.

You know what? Look, look, you've got this. Right?

OK, no, no, no, no, no. I've got it, I've got it, I've got it.

Oh, no.

Look, why don't we go outside for some fresh air?

Yeah, you're going to get fresh with me.

Not this evening, not this evening. Let's...

-All right, come on, then, take me outside.

-OK.

CARMEL LAUGHS

Are we going to have a party?

-Er, yes.

-Come on, then, you and me.

Let's go outside!

Yep, yep. Just lean... Right. OK, you OK?

I am so sorry. I'm sorry. I'll pay you back.

Oh, no, no, no. You've paid for it.

You just...you just concentrate on your dry-cleaning bill.

Do you know, I really thought I could do this.

Look, Kush is your baby boy.

He's, erm... You're just being a protective mother.

I mean, if that was me and Pearl, I couldn't deal with it

-half as well as you.

-I'm trying.

I know.

Honey said if I spent more time with them, maybe it'd get easier.

I think she could be right.

Look, you all want this to work.

Just keep making more of an effort, and before you know it,

you'll be wondering why you had a problem in the first place.

Thank you.

-Here, get that down your neck, Jane.

-Cheers.

POP MUSIC PLAYS

Come on, come out.

-I look like an idiot.

-No, you don't. Come on.

You look amazing. Honestly.

No, you're right. You look like an idiot.

These drinks ain't going to serve themselves.

There's only so much talk of pelvic floors I can take.

I think things are about to get a little bit more interesting.

Ladies and gentlemen, for one night only,

flying in on their chopper, I give you...

Maverick and Goose! CHEERING AND LAUGHTER

MUSIC: Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins

-Did you know about this?

-Only when they turned up.

WOMEN SHRIEK WITH LAUGHTER

This is what Ladies Night is all about!

You didn't tell me this was happening. I would have come sooner!

Yeah, tear 'em off!

-Did you book these?

-No. But I'm glad someone did.

Oh, no. It's been a while since I've been in this position.

It's been a while since I've been in any position!

Oh, Jane!

So this was your idea of livening things up?

Yeah. It's worked, hasn't it?

-Do you know them?

-Yeah, just a couple of old mates.

The one on the right is well fit.

-You're wasting your time. Johnny's more his type.

-Am I?

Yeah, mate. Why don't you try talking to him after he's done?

LAUGHTER AND SCREAMING

And, in first place, with 75 points, it's...

It's Derek and the Dominoes!

-Yes!

-Congratulations. I'll bring your prize over.

Well done, Derek, that was all down to you. Honey?

Yes. Yeah, thank you.

There you go. Well done.

There's a lot there. It'll take you a little while.

What do you reckon, we split it half each?

Nah, just two.

You can always keep your half at ours and pick it up

after work one day if you don't want to carry it now.

No, no, I think I'd better take it now, because, well,

I'm not on regular shifts, am I, being casual?

I don't know when I'm next going to be in.

Casual? I thought you were permanent.

Oh, no. No! No, I can't commit, unfortunately.

-See you later. We're going anyway.

-Yeah, see you.

Oh, thank YOU, my love, thank you. Enjoy, enjoy.

-See you later. See you later.

-Get home safely, guys, yeah?

So, Kush, has Denise put my proposal to you yet?

Er, no.

Us. Holiday villa. You know, Spain.

Oh, yes, I like the sound of this already.

I already told her that we've organised to go camping

and it'd be a shame to miss out.

I tell you what the shame would be -

for Kush to keep his body under wraps in a rainy Skegness

-than to sun up himself by the pool in Spain.

-Er, excuse me?

I just... I don't think that we can really afford it at the moment.

Look, all you have to pay for is your flights.

-Me and Vincent can take care of everything else.

-It's just flights.

I'm sure we can find the money. I haven't been abroad in ages,

and you could do with a proper relaxing break, right?

So...are we going on holiday?

-OK, fine. All right, all right.

-Cheers.

Cheers! Very good. Yeah.

Er, why are you so bang on about them coming with us?

On-tap baby-sitters, innit?

-You're not easy.

-I know, I know.

Oh, you all right?

-Yeah, fine. What did I miss?

-Oh!

# We're all going on a summer holiday... #

Yeah, but we haven't actually booked anything yet.

No, but it has been decided, and we are all going to Spain together,

and I cannot wait!

Sand, sea, sangria.

Sea. What more can you ask for?

Oh, I love Spain. That sounds like a fantastic idea.

I just, er... I better check with Shaki that it's OK for him

to feed Craig, but, yeah...

I am definitely in!

Spain!

Oh, Woody, I'm going to take Jane home, make sure she's all right.

-All right.

-Those cocktails were potent.

-Are you sure it's OK to finish off without me?

-Yeah, yeah, course.

Oh, and, Woody, well done for tonight.

-Next time, I'm going to leave the big events to you.

-Thanks.

Oh, his thighs. They were like two doner kebabs.

-Night, ladies,

-Night!

-Night.

You should've got up there.

What, embarrass everyone with how good I am?

All right, I better be going.

Steven keeps texting me - Louie's teeth are bothering him. See you.

-See you.

-See you.

-It'd be nice to have someone care about

me as much as Steven does about her.

If I went missing, Ben and Jay wouldn't realise for a week.

I doubt that very much.

Nah, it'd be sooner than that, cos there'd be no toilet roll.

-That is true.

-Whit. I'm going to go back to Luke's for a bit.

Lucky you.

I think he really likes me.

-EXCITED WHINE

-OK, OK.

-Come on, that's a score you owe me. Pay up.

-Ah, whatever.

Hang on a minute, you're supposed to be paying him,

not the other way round!

Something you'll learn about Woody. He'll do anything not to lose a bet.

Tell me about it! What was the bet this time?

Oh, nothing. Just something that me and Rowan have from ages ago.

But maybe I won't owe you.

Not been dumped already, have you?

Nah. I'm just getting my wallet.

What was the bet, Woody?

That your mate would be able to pull Luke.

What?

Is that true?

Well, yeah, but, like, you know, it was a good thing.

I was on your side, Brains. You know?

Did he only talk to me because you put a bet on me?

Nah, nah, you're getting it all wrong.

You know, I did encourage him, but...

I wanted you to have a good time.

What, you didn't think I could pull someone on my own?

-Nah, mate, I...

-That I'm so boring

that someone would need to be persuaded to go home with me?

Nah, of course not, mate.

You look like you were celebrating tonight.

Well, Mick and Linda signed the paperwork

and I booked Lady Di in for her surgery.

Well, that's got to be a weight off.

It is.

-Thanks for your help.

-That's all right.

We'll move things forward. I'll speak to Grafton Hill, if you want.

We'll sort out the first consultancy visit for...next week?

I thought you said management weren't involved.

No, all they want to do is maximise profits,

and all they've got to do is assess the pub.

Oh, right.

I'm sure any changes they suggest will benefit everyone.

Anyway...