02/05/2017 EastEnders

You look very perky for the morning after.

Teeth and smiles, innit?

I've got my job interview.

Oh, yeah, of course. Which one?

Educational sales.

Oh, yeah. Very you.

It's my world, anyway. Teachers and people who care about learning.

Go on, try me.

Eh?

On my interview technique. You know...

"Are you a team player?

"How do you cope in a crisis?"

Ram a car into a chip shop?

Funny. OK.

OK, describe yourself - me - in three words.

Determined.

Dedicated.

Drunk.

So we had a few...

You were wasted. I don't expect any better from you, but Sharon...

I know. I know, Louise, and I'm sorry.

It's a bit late for that.

What kind of example are you?

Well, you won't see me abusing my body with that poison,

-wrecking my health...

-Oh, give it a rest.

Losing all my self respect.

Oh, forgot, you don't have any.

Excuse me.

No breakfast?

A bit late to come the caring parent as well, don't you think?

Here you go. One more.

Now, I'll let you lay the table,

but that is it for today, you are not lifting a finger.

Now, we can't go to the Queen Vic, it's off limits,

so we're going to go to Fargo's. Yeah.

I am going to try and be the perfect husband all day.

Anyone would think it was my birthday or something.

I'm going to set my watch up after the physio.

Yeah, do you know, this is good, this, right?

I've already done, hang on, let's have a look...

226 steps today,

and that is just me walking around the house this morning, that is it.

Right. I'm going to go get the pancakes on.

Is this you making the first move, coming in here?

No, I'm just desperate for a birthday treat.

All right, all right, have it on Ian.

Thanks, Teen.

Don't suppose I'll be getting any other presents today,

now I'm the wicked witch of Walford all of a sudden.

It won't be like this forever.

No, where are all the ardent drinks going to go?

Ian knows what it's like.

I mean, he's sacked me enough times.

If I thought Tracey could get a job...

Denise can't. Michelle can't.

You can't sort everything.

But there is one thing I can sort.

I'm going to go over and see Billy later on,

pay up for Mum's funeral.

Thank you, Shirl. I love you.

So, we get everyone round mine, like, round seven-ish?

And that basically means Travis, right?

And his mates. Like Logan, he's well up for it with you.

Yeah, what if I'm well up for it with Marlo instead?

Take them both on, hon.

It'll be the start of me and Travis for real.

If Louise thinks she's got a chance... Please.

Tell her, Kathy, Ian didn't mean nothing by it.

No, of course not. Come on, we'd all had a drink.

Yeah, and he started a revolution? Smart move.

Look, Shirl, we've all had hard times.

And if the sums don't add up and you had to let Tracey go, well...

people will understand.

Yeah, I believe in miracles and all.

Do you still want the lunches doing?

You should've seen the state of them this morning.

Like they never learn.

Sad, innit?

At their age.

PHONE BEEPS

Sharon. "I'm sorry, truly. I'll make it up to you."

Yeah, right.

No, babes! You've got her, like, exactly where you want her!

OK, maybe. Should we go?

Yeah, yeah.

Like we've got her.

Mm, oh, that's good. Want some?

-No, no, I'm going to drip it all over these.

-Sorry.

I've got to go and hand my CVs round and then I've got my interview.

Services sector, right? I thought you only offered me your services.

I need a job, you know!

And you'll get it!

They'd be mad not to give it to you.

I wish I was that confident.

Well, I'm so confident I'm booking Fargo's tonight.

Kush, no!

That's why I wasn't at the Vic last night.

I've got my exams in...

Three weeks. It's burnt on my brain.

I wish Midsummer Night's Dream was burnt on mine.

Look...

..the thing is...tonight...

I'm a bit short of...

Time, yes, I know, I know.

Ah, better, then -

I will bring us a takeaway and I won't stay long.

OK, yeah. Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, right. Now, now, I've got to go.

Tough at the top, eh?

Not as tough as it is at the bottom.

Yeah, all right, look, I'll be there soon as I can, OK?

Ricky, come on, chop, chop, get your teeth brushed, all right?

Get your bag, we're leaving in five!

DOORBELL RINGS

Morning.

Amy! Are you up? We're leaving in five!

PHONE RINGS What's this, you back at work?

Well, give me a chance. Got to do the school run first, haven't I?

PHONE RINGS

I told you I wasn't well.

Amy, what?

Is that chickenpox?

Oh, darling, I'm sorry.

It's OK. It's not a problem.

Aspar-a-gus? Aspar-u-gus? It always gets me, that.

I tell you what gets me is when they close the community centre

with no explanation. They just stick a sign on the door.

-Yeah, you said.

-What about the playgroup? And all the other stuff?

Zumba, slimming club, bingo.

Zumba's never really been my thing.

No community centre and a pub we're not supposed to go into - great.

We're not actually going to boycott the Vic, are we?

You and your pint!

Are we going to?

Oh! Hot date?

Interview.

Knock 'em dead, girl!

-Thank you!

-HE WOLF WHISTLES

She didn't get that outfit off a market, did she?

Speak for your own stuff!

Oh, no, just keep it anyway. Cos you never know, do you?

You're very smart for a bet on the 2:30.

Oh, no, you don't think that...

No, no, this is for an interview. Job.

Me too! As?

Well, it's, um... in the services sector.

Ah, retail again?

I don't know till I get there.

It's a world of opportunity, innit? You?

Educational sales.

I thought you were banned from driving.

Oh, no, no, not repping! Managing the sales force.

But it'll be people who care about education,

so plays into my skillset, I hope.

Skillset. Right. Yeah.

Are you Tubing it?

Um, nah. It's not really far, so I think I'm going to walk.

-Yeah.

-Well, good luck.

Thanks, you too. Break a leg!

I like this one.

You know, I feel a lot more at home now I've found a running buddy.

It felt great to apply a bit more pace this time!

You know what? We need Jack to come with us too.

Oh, he's Mick's best mate. Now, he's fast.

-So are you!

-Don't play with him!

Look, you're lucky that we're in here, yeah?

Don't encourage him, please.

I don't want him worn out before our holiday.

Where you going?

Oh, Spain. Friend of ours has got a villa,

right next door to a spa.

You know, infinity pool, seaweed wraps, Balinese beds...

Hey! Give us a kiss.

It's his first exam.

Good luck.

Your dad would be proud.

You're going to smash it, Brains.

-A pass will do me. See you later.

-See you.

Hiya.

Well, hello! Welcome back!

It's business, not pleasure.

Do you still want the lunches doing or what?

Well, I was actually going to speak to you about that.

-Nothing to do with last night, but we can manage now.

-Oh, right!

Thanks for your help anyway.

No, it's OK. Be a relief to stop, actually.

And Ian'll be pleased.

Do you know what?

We actually saw Ian on our way back from our run, didn't we?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

What, Ian was out running?

No, no, no. He was with Louie in the pushchair.

And a little ball.

Oh. Looks like he's taking his fitness monitor seriously, eh?

He's got one of those, yeah?

Has he worked out how to cheat it?

What do you want to play?

Come on then. It's on nice and firm, yeah?

Want to play ball?

Arm out.

Come to me.

Yeah! Right, here you go.

Where's the ball? Where's the ball?

Where's the ball?

Bad ball!

Yeah, the bad ball. Go on!

That's a good boy! Yeah, well done.

Come on, then, bring it back to Grandad. Yeah, back to me.

Bring it back.

You will come, won't you, darling?

Do I have a choice?

OK, so I'll be a couple of hours.

Absolutely. Take it. Take it. Take it.

-Thank you. Taking it.

-Eight o'clock. Er, where's Pearl?

Oh, another play date.

Someone's in a good mood.

Yeah. Darius has gone and beamed himself in,

so Mum wants full-on brotherly love.

So, what's the matter with that? Ah, Denise not invited?

I'm not sure she'd want to be, mate, to be honest.

I was supposed to be seeing her tonight. I think.

She's, she's so...

Right, if it's not looking for work, it's interviews,

and if it's not interviews, it's revision...

You ever seen a fox in a garden?

You know, nose up, sniffs out what it wants

and then boom! Off like a guided missile.

And Fox by name...

Yeah, well, I should know.

Maybe I should just leave her to it, then, you know, do the family thing.

Keeping both women in your life very happy.

See, now that's a win-win.

-Suppose it is.

-Look, you and Denise

are going to get some quality time on holiday, right?

Right.

-Right.

-I mean, I know I'm right.

Yeah, right.

-All right.

-Right.

Miss Fox? Denise Fox?

Greg Dowson. Come on through.

Thank you.

Louise. Just saying, don't make yourself look cheap.

But I was...

Never a good look. Now, serious.

This thing at Mads', it's not going to work.

No, why?

Stuff, you know?

So instead, just us besties.

How about a pyjama party at yours?

Mine?

I think Sharon owes you one.

Well, yeah, but...

I guess I could ask...

Yeah!

Marshmallows, box sets, face packs - it's going to be sweet!

Yeah, my first exam's in three weeks.

My GCSE. It'll add to my...skillset.

Oh, right. So, Minute Mart.

-Yeah.

-Your responsibilities were...?

Oh, they were everything. Serving customers, ordering stock...

..handling cash, keeping the shop, like, looking good...

Yeah, what did you use to do that?

Sorry?

What equipment did you use?

A broom? Duster? Mop and bucket?

You've never used a floor polisher?

No.

Oh, well. It's easy, you'll pick it up.

Sorry...

..is this a cleaning job?

But you say you're a services group.

What, and cleaning's not a service?

Oh.

Oh, OK. I'm sorry. This is my mistake.

It's really not what I'm looking for.

Look, with your skillset, cleaning is nothing to be ashamed of.

And I'm not saying that it is.

It's just that your ad didn't say. It's just a phone number.

Write me a better one when you get your GCSE!

I thought you needed a job.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good.

What, you trying to escape?

While I was at physio, Ian's done loads of jobs around the house.

Really, has he?

This door knob's been bugging me for months,

and now he's put a washing on.

All that and pancakes.

He's really spoiling you.

And he took Louie to the park.

I know.

And I also know that if you go through that washing

you'll find his fitness monitor there and all.

What?

I mean, I bet he put it on Louie.

And strapped it to the drill and the screwdriver.

No!

You've got to hand it to him, you know.

I mean, the snakes and ladders,

the egg and spoon, the pub quiz.

I mean, you set that boy a challenge and he will try and beat it.

His way.

Diabetes is not a challenge, Kathy! It's a serious condition!

I know, Jane.

And I want him healthy as much as you do, but...

you have to laugh.

Do I?

Why don't you come over to ours tonight? Yeah, I'm making paella.

Oh, I've only gone and promised Kush now.

Kush can come as well! There'll be plenty!

Big jug of sangria to get you into that holiday mood.

My exams, Kim.

I can't think about the holiday right now.

Well, that's the whole point, innit? To celebrate!

There's not going to be much to celebrate if I fail, is there?

This is just a big joke to you, innit?

Do I look like I'm laughing? I wish I was!

You are so boring!

You don't understand...

What, because I'm thick?

So you want to do this GCSE to better yourself, yeah? What for?

You already think that you're better than everybody else!

-I do not!

-So, what's the next job you're going to go up for?

-Prime Minister?

-What if I am, eh?

It's got to be better than being a kept woman whose only achievement

is to spot a designer label at 50 paces!

Kim... Kim, I didn't mean that.

-No, it's all right.

-No, and I'm sorry...

No, I get the message.

Alexandra and Madison?

I'll make it up to you.

I know, but do you really want them round?

Yes! Bex is history!

Do you not want me to have any mates?

Yeah, of course I do. But it's awkward for Michelle...

Well, it's her own fault.

They were only telling it like it is.

-Lou, I don't know...

-Fine!

Dad's sitting in the sun,

Ben and Jay are having a wild time at their house,

you've moved in with your best mate,

but I can't have one poxy night in with my friends!

All right, all right. If you're sure.

How many times?

OK, then.

-But no drink.

-Oh, as if!

-Or boys.

-Except me.

-In your dreams!

-What? All them fit girls in my house and...

Yeah, and you will be staying with Ben and Jay.

Unfair!

Life's like that, son. Get used to it.

Hey! How'd you get on?

-Yeah, great!

-Thank you!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Made up, then?

Looks like it, yeah. So...?

Managing the sales force?

Cold calling, more like, trying to get schools to sign up.

Possible commission, impossible targets.

If I could just get back into teaching...

I know it's my own stupid fault I can't.

Look, we both need a boost.

How about a quiet night out on Thursday, eh? Just the two of us.

Oh, that sounds great.

And no lectures from Louise.

So, I thought it was time we met, since you're best mates with Mick.

Yeah, well, you had chickenpox, yeah?

Yeah, as a kid, mate, I'm sweet.

Yeah, well. You won't be seeing me at the Vic any time soon.

Oh, that's a shame.

I actually come to ask you... All right, lad!

Oi, you, go on upstairs.

I'll be up there in five, I promise you, all right? We'll play a game.

-Go on.

-You'd better, or I'll report you!

He hasn't had it. That little one has.

So, now they're off school, I've got to keep them separate.

Good luck. Well, look, if you ever need a stress buster or...

Yeah, look, it's no stress! It's all under control.

Yeah, sure, but, you know, if you want to go for a run or something...

-PHONE RINGS

-Dad! Matthew wants a drink!

-Yeah, in a minute.

-No! He's annoying me!

It's not a good time, but if you ever change your mind...

-Yeah, I'll let you know.

-All right, mate.

HE SIGHS

Come on!

How long does one music lesson take?

PHONE BEEPS

She seriously thinks we're going to spend the night

drinking lemonade, eating cake pops and trying funky nail art.

She's one lucky cow you got it covered, innit?

Finally!

Hey, Travis.

Party, Louise's. You in? Thursday?

Yeah, why not?

Just her favourite people, obvs.

It's going to be well cool.

-Yeah, sounds good.

-See ya.

We don't get to see much of Darius, do we, so...you understand?

Yeah, yeah. Of course.

I know you'd rather spend time with your old Shakespeare dude anyway.

Well, you know, got to stick at it.

-It's fantastic, what you're doing.

-Mm.

You're going to get this exam

and you're going to get a fantastic job, and you deserve all of it.

You've just got to hang in there.

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, well, it's not for much longer.

I'll leave you to it.

Text me if you hear anything about your interview!

Sure. You have a nice night.

See you.

Right, let's read this story, then bed.

I'm not tired!

Yeah, well, you can count your spots, can't you?

I had 52 at tea time.

Amazing. Amazing. Go on, mate, get it in there!

That's it.

How you doing? All right?

Got us a takeaway.

Yeah, well, it's bedtime, innit?

Will you do me a favour? Will you chase up Ricky?

-I've already told him.

-RICKY SHOUTS

It's all right, I'll go.

Ricky?

Ricky, you all right down there?

You all right?

I am going to be well over my 10,000 steps today.

With a bit of help.

Yeah, couldn't have done it without your support. Or my mum's.

Or Louie's.

Or your electric screwdriver.

Or a 1,200 spin cycle.

How did you know?

Ian, I am trying to help you, but you won't help yourself, will you?

No.

PHONE RINGS

In the meadow, the billy goats got so fat

they were hardly able to walk home again.

In fact, they're probably still there.

So, snip, snap, snout,

this tale's told out.

Right, that's it.

Night-night, sleepy boy.

-Ma.

-Yeah.

I think he wants Mummy.

He wants a Mummy kiss.

Who's this?

Who's this, Matthew?

Mum.

Do you want to give her a kiss? Shall I give her a kiss?

-Yeah.

-Yeah.

KNOCKING

Lost your way?

You never answered my call.

Louise, you mustn't do this thing with Alex and Mads.

-Er, drama queen. What?

-You can't trust them!

And you're telling me what to do because...?

Because we're friends.

Ex-friends.

I tried to apologise and you blew me off.

And now you're jealous because I've got friends and you haven't.

Alex and Mads are not your friends. They only think about themselves!

How can you not see that?

All I can see is you trying to ruin another friendship!

So butt out, you're not wanted!

You're just as much of a bully as they are.

Out!

-Don't say I didn't try...

-Just go!

So, have you had a good birthday?

Well, it's not over yet. Here, take this.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'll give you a hand.

Just one hand. Just one arm, OK?

All right, I'm here. OK.

All right. Let go of me.

Let go of me, I'm fine.

-You sure?

-Let go of me, please.

OK, OK. I'm just here, I'm just here.

Hey, hey, hey.

Jane, you're amazing.

Six steps, Ian. Six whole steps.

Look, look, look, six steps, see?

Get me the chair.

Oh, chair. It's coming, it's coming, it's coming.

I'm there, I'm there, it's behind you. You all right?

Oi.

That is amazing.

It's amazing, I love you.

Right, Mr Beale. So, new targets.

-For both of us, all right?

-OK.

Erm...

OK, I will try not to be such a pillock.

Well, that might be a bit ambitious.

Yeah, probably. All right, I tell you what, for me, 10,000 steps.

All right? No messing, no cheating.

Ten'd do me. Ten.

You know what?

Ten would be amazing.

We got this the first time we went to Ongar.

Lovely little shop that we found.

At least Ricky didn't hurt himself.

You've got all the pieces - just get it mended.

-Mended?

-Yeah. There's places, isn't there?

Oh, yeah, that's a great idea.

Why not just check myself in? Nah, me and the kids.

See if they can get us fixed, put back together.

Jack, you ain't that bad.

Oh, really? Have you seen this place?

You seen the state of it?

We'll just have a little tidy-up, that's all.

No, I'm talking about this.

I'm talking about this.

And then they tell you to be normal. Normal!

Jack. I've been there, all right? I know what it's like to wake up

every morning and realise what you've lost.

Yeah, I know.

I'm sorry.

I've just got to get on with it, haven't I? Just like you did.

Jack, you've just got to be honest with yourself, that's all.

What's going on?

I just miss her.

So much.

The kids miss her too.

I just don't think I can do this any more, Max.

I don't think I'm strong enough.

I think I need help.