23/06/2017 EastEnders

DOOR CLOSES

WHISPERS: Come on!

-Happy birthday!

-Surprise!

Put your hat on, put your hat on, put your hat on.

When did you do all of this?

Been working on the banner for the last week.

It's been like an episode of Art Attack in the Arches.

Yeah. I'm Neil Buchanan.

No, I'm Neil Buchanan. You're the Talking Head.

Well, anyway, we said we'd help set up the party, too.

Oh, well, thank you! Have you guys seen Lauren?

No, no, we haven't.

Oh, right. Well, maybe she just got held up.

Oh, she could be with Donna.

She's organising some kind of surprise, apparently.

We've got to be at the restaurant at five.

-A surprise?

-Five's a bit early for a stripper, isn't it?

I'm sure Abi's far too sophisticated to have

a stripper at her posh party.

Although, it ain't a proper 21st unless you get lucky.

Yeah, well, you'd know all about that, wouldn't you, Ben?

Well, don't you worry about me...

cos I've already got someone lined up.

-Hm!

-Hm!

I just told them no-one was hurt, and I didn't want to give a statement, and they left.

You don't suppose it could've been Keegan that told them?

No, no, definitely not. It was probably someone from the park.

Yeah, well, I suppose they've got to follow it up.

As long as no-one says anything,

it's not going to get back to Kim and Stacey.

Kush!

Hey, you all right? How's little man?

I was going to give him a go on the swings before I pick Lil up,

but he's sparko.

That's... That's not unsual, that, is it?

No.

This kid can sleep anywhere any time,

apart from his own bed, at night.

Right, well, I'd better go.

Let me know when you're done with the interview -

I'll come and meet you for a debrief.

-Oh, you've got an interview?

-Yeah.

-Good luck!

-Thank you.

-See you.

-See you.

-Bye.

Chatham, Riley. You promised to tidy your room, remember?

Look what we're doing.

All right, five more minutes, then.

'Hi, Lauren, it's me. I was just wondering where you are.

'I thought you were coming round to help set up.

'I hope you're all right. Just give me a call me back.'

Hey, these new acquisitions need portfolios.

We'd like them ready by next week.

Yeah, well, I'd better get on that now, then.

I thought you were heading off soon.

Oh, one more hour won't hurt.

It's just... The thing is... I mean...

This party tonight, I wouldn't even be going if it wasn't my sister.

You know, Abi's got a '90s theme, cos of the year she was born.

It's not really my thing. It's probably not yours, either.

I don't know. The '90s weren't all bad.

Thank you. Come again.

Bye.

Can you believe that - they've been sat there for two hours sharing a burger

then asked if they could pay with a voucher!

And they haven't left a tip.

All right, bruv?

All right?

We've come to help you set up.

Yeah. What do you want us to do?

Oh, great. Well, this table here needs to go there so I can stick

-all the drinks and canapes on it.

-Yeah.

-And there's some decorations

in the kitchen that need to go out, and I've got some signs

I need to stick outside to say we're closed for the evening.

-There's some disposable cameras there behind Jay, need to go on all of the tables.

-You're so organised.

-Right, I'll make a start on the decorations.

-Cheers, mate.

Right, I'm going to make a start on the canapes.

Anyone wants me I'll be in there.

Have you spoken to Lauren today?

She is my girlfriend.

No, I meant did you tell her about...

It's just that she's not replying to any of my messages

and she should be here by now.

She's obviously got her own reasons for ignoring you.

It is nothing to do with me.

Here, Abi, take a photo of us.

Yep.

All right, Chuckle Brothers. Say cheese!

Cheese!

Nan! What you doing here?!

Surprise! I did invite all your family, but she's was the only one that could make it.

Thank you, darling. Happy birthday, sweetheart.

Ah, thank you.

I wasn't going to miss my granddaughter's big moment.

Or the opportunity to see the changed man in the flesh.

I hear prison's done wonders for you, Max.

Well?

We're following up on a complaint involving

a dog in the park yesterday.

Was Bronson in the park yesterday?

You know he was or you wouldn't be here, Jaz.

Did he attack someone?

Who told you that? Was it them? Because they attacked him!

-Keegan.

-You know Bronson wouldn't hurt a fly.

They're the ones in the wrong.

Got distracted, or something, I don't know, and then panicked and threw Bronson in the pond!

-That's some RSPCA stuff right there.

-Right.

And you know what? The mum of that boy, yeah, Stacey Fowler, she's called, she's a certified nutter.

And that woman, Denise, she's got previous with me. She hit me.

So if she's the one that called you, this is victimisation.

And not just from her.

Twice you've been round here now making false accusations.

We should be the ones complaining.

Would you like to make an allegation?

No. We wouldn't. Now, if that's all...

you can see yourself out.

Can I have a name and address check on a Stacey Fowler, please?

INAUDIBLE

Don't you think you should wait for everyone else?

They're going to be hours yet.

This is payment for lugging all them tables about.

It's a bit poncy, isn't it?

You'd think it was a wedding, not a birthday.

Till you look at the decorations.

I know, I know - look, don't say anything. I'm sorry.

I was on my way out, and then Josh gave me loads more work and it all needed to be done by next week.

You're here now. That's all that matters.

Put her down.

Nan?!

The one and only.

Fortunately.

Oh!

-Happy birthday!

-Thanks.

Is that my dress?

No.

Thanks for this.

It's not all you got her, is it?

Well, Steven's done all this and I made her a wicked playlist.

It's got all the '90s tracks on. It took me ages.

That's actually why I got held up.

What did you get Abi, Max?

Oh, just some vouchers that I asked for.

Is that all?

No. Course not.

What, there's more surprises?

Oh, my gosh, being 21 is already amazing!

I, erm, I don't suppose Josh said whether he could make it or not?

Who's Josh?

Oh, he's just a bloke that works with Lauren and Max at Weylands.

Why - you got your eye on him?

No, Dad! I just thought he'd enjoy the party, that's all.

So did he, then?

Oh, I don't know. He's not mentioned it.

Oh. OK, well. Fingers crossed.

Hey, well done, you. Come on, tell me, tell me...

Well, I thought it was Kim playing a joke at first.

I can't believe they made a decision that quickly.

You obviously really impressed them.

Yeah, but they've got to check my references first and Yolande said she wouldn't let me down with that,

but apart from that... I've got a job!

And not a pretend one that my sister gave me.

Ah, well, I'm really proud of you. And not just cos of the job.

-Hm.

-This definitely calls for a drink, doesn't it?

-Yeah.

-Come on, then.

-Yeah.

I don't understand. You're saying that something happened to Arthur yesterday?

Well, Kush didn't say anything when I saw him earlier.

-We're just here to confirm that Arthur's OK and doesn't have any injuries.

-He's fine.

Do you often allow Mr Kazemi to care for Arthur alone?

I don't really see how our childcare arrangements have got anything to do with you.

Kush is Arthur's biological father.

He had him yesterday while we went to the hospital.

What was that look for?

Is everything OK?

Yeah, why wouldn't it be?

You know what? I think we're done here.

Thank you for your time. Thank you.

Go and talk to her.

No.

What's the worst that can happen?

I might do after another drink.

Josh! You made it!

Happy birthday.

Ah, thank you.

And, er...

You didn't have to do that.

21's a special birthday. It should be marked properly.

-Come on, let's see.

-Yeah.

Guys, look at what Josh bought me!

Ah, it's beautiful. Looks expensive.

Wow. Very generous.

Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it?

It's lovely.

Those flowers need to be in water, Abs - I'll chuck them in something.

Can I get everyone a drink?

I'll just have another glass of fizz, please.

No, I'm all right. I've got water, thanks.

No thanks, darling. Not drinking, Max?

No. No, I'm high on life, Cora.

You better not be leading her on.

Why would I be doing that?

She's a great girl who clearly knows how to have fun.

The boys seem all right now.

They were upset.

If they take away Bronson, Denise is going to regret complaining.

Oh, she'll want the police involved even less than we do. Must be some other busybody.

Chatham and Riley would flip.

Can we stop talking about it, cos it ain't going to happen!

No-one could see Bronson sat there and think he's dangerous, could they?

Things can change so quickly, can't they?

I feel like I can finally start looking forward again.

Yeah, I can tell.

Yeah, and you should take some credit for that, too.

You know I haven't thanked you properly for yesterday.

Ah, don't worry. That rubber duck was thanks enough.

No, seriously. You know, it was...

It was generous of you to take the blame like you did.

Stupid, for putting your relationship with Arthur at risk, but you know, it was generous.

Well, regardless of, you know, what's happened, I've always got your back.

Yeah, thank you.

And I've got yours, too.

You know that.

Well, why don't I buy us dinner, then,

you know, as a way of cementing that agreement,

and as a congratulations on you getting your new job?

Yeah, I'd like that.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-You're on.

-Course.

Right...

-Brilliant.

-Thank you.

A lot of money in property, I take it?

Yeah, yeah, I'm doing all right.

So that Josh, is he your boss?

No. We work in different departments.

He's very young and handsome.

Is that why you don't like him?

So tonight I have my very own Superman.

The glasses. Usually you're Clark Kent, but...

Contact lenses.

Oh! Suits you.

I don't usually like Champagne, but this is much sweeter than usual.

Ah, that's probably because it's Prosecco.

Course it is. I was testing you.

Come here, mate, come here.

Right, listen, if you ever need any advice on Abi...

just come and ask me, come and ask Ben, all right?

Sort you out.

All right, you've had enough. Come on.

That's it, there we go.

-Remember what I said.

-Cheers.

You can't do that!

Abi. Do you not think... I mean, you should be talking to other people?

I mean, you've barely spoken to Nan all night.

Birthday girl's prerogative, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, I suppose, if you don't mind looking rude.

Mexican?

Hm. The only place that's close by is that themed place

-where they play La Cucaracha when it's your birthday.

-Oh!

We could say it's yours.

Or... Or we could try the new curry house opened up by the tube,

-supposed to be nice.

-So that's a no to La Cucaracha then?

No. Really.

Why didn't you tell us what happened with Arthur yesterday?

Wh... I... Listen, I'm so sorry, OK? I am.

-He wasn't hurt, so I...

-Oh, well, that's all right, then, is it, Kush, that it's OK that he wasn't hurt?

Are you going to say that to the social services, if the police get them involved?

Of course, Martin, yes. I will say whatever you want.

Well, do you know what I want - what I want is for you to stay away from Arthur,

-cos clearly you can't be trusted.

-Martin, come on...

-OK, no, no. Hold on.

Look, you are completely within your rights to feel angry,

but please don't punish Kush.

He put my son in danger, Denise!

No, no, no. He...

Arthur was never ever in any danger, I promise you.

What happened, it was completely my fault.

What?

I overreacted. That dog, it didn't mean any harm. Kush, he was...

He only took the blame because that Keegan was giving me hassle, wasn't he?

So why didn't you just tell us, then?

Arthur was totally fine and I didn't want to stress you out after seeing the midwife.

Yeah, Kush was just trying to doing the right thing.

I was having a bad day and he...

..he was just trying not to make it worse for me.

You know, he's really good with Arthur, you know that.

You don't have to take him away from him, do you?

No.

All right, then, let's just...

-Let's just hope the police don't take it any further, hey?

-Yeah.

MUSIC: Wannabe by The Spice Girls

She looks like an idiot.

She looks like she's enjoying herself, unlike you.

DOOR OPENS

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday dear Abi

# Happy birthday to you. #

Make a wish, darling.

Happy birthday.

I think my wish might have already come true.

Abi!

Lauren! Lauren, what are you doing?

Come here!

I'm stopping you from making a show of yourself!

You're the one that's showing me up!

No, you're drunk, Abi, and you don't know what you're doing.

Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing!

And just because you could never handle your alcohol

doesn't mean that I can't.

That's out of order.

No, what's out of order is you trying to make tonight all about you, like you always do!

When do I do that?

Oh, let me think. Hm.

Oh, boo-hoo, my dad's had an affair so I'm going to try and run him over

so it's all about me.

Oh, my mum's got cancer,

so I'm going to become an alcoholic so it's all about me.

Even your best friend's murder you made about you by running away to New Zealand!

That's not fair.

Yeah, it's true, though.

And for once, the attention is on me and you can't bear it!

Er, yeah, I can.

You're jealous that someone else is getting the attention.

Why would I be jealous of you?

-Everyone can hear you.

-I've seen you watching me and Josh.

You're so used to being the one everyone fancies that instead

of being happy that someone actually likes me,

you're trying to sabotage it.

Josh doesn't like you, Abi! He's engaged!

Well, he obviously doesn't care for her too much,

or he wouldn't be all over me.

You were all over him, OK?

It was embarrassing.

Do you honestly think somebody like Josh would go for someone like you?

Oh, it's all coming out now, ain't it?

Leave it.

Why would you say that to me?

How could you even say that to me?

Because I was trying to help!

By making your sister feel rubbish on her birthday?

No, from stopping her from...

From making a show of myself. Yeah, I got it.

Get out.

I do not want you here. Get out!

Thanks for sticking up for me.

Well, what she said was out of order...

but she's right about Josh not liking you.

What?

He's using you to make someone else jealous. And it worked.

There's obviously something going on between Lauren and Josh.

Lauren, wait. Wait!

-Leave me alone!

-I didn't mean to cause a problem between you and Abi.

Yes, you did! You did!

You came here and you flirted with her!

No, you didn't just flirt with her, did you - you kissed her in front of everyone, just to wind me up.

Worked though, didn't it?

Look, we can't ignore what's going on any more.

We need to deal with this.

-You all right, darling?

-No, I need to find Lauren.

Abs, Abs, please don't go, all right?

Just sort it out tomorrow when you've calmed down, all right?

Everyone's here for you. This is your night, isn't it?

Someone should've told her that!

Listen, all right, I've got your other present here.

The Harry Potter play you wanted to see. It's tickets.

I thought it was all sold out!

Well, it is. You know, I pulled some strings.

-Thank you, Dad.

-All right.

So, is Josh still here?

Er, no. No, he's gone.

On his own?

I didn't see, darling.

Well, I need to go and find him.

Abs, please. Look, everyone's here for you.

Forget him!

I never trust a man who turns up for a birthday party in a suit, anyway!

Abs! We need you to lead the Macarena - come on!

Ready?

Yeah, and then slide...

# Hey Macarena. #

Sorry this isn't the restaurant meal I promised you.

-Well, it didn't really feel right going out, did it?

-Hm.

Thank you for stepping in with Martin earlier.

You didn't have to do that.

Yes, I did.

Covering for me, that could have completely ruined your relationship with Arthur.

Not everyone would have done that.

Not everyone loves you the way I do.

When I found out that you'd been keeping your money problems

from me, I thought I was protecting myself by letting you go.

I was angry that you didn't trust me enough to be honest with me.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

But I know things would be different this time.

Look, why-why are you saying...

I completely understand, OK, if you don't want to try again,

because I was at fault, too!

I should've seen what was going on. But I do see now.

I see how-how strong you are,

how brave, how clever, how...

..how beautiful.

But most of all, I see how much I love you...

..and that if you ever have to go through something so awful again,

I want to be there facing it with you.

You don't know how much I've wanted to hear you say that.

Come here.

Sorry we're bailing early but we've got to get him home.

The melt has overdone it, look!

Yeah, I can see that.

You had a good night, though?

Yeah. Yeah, it's been really great.

-Good. See you at home.

-Yeah.

A party, vouchers, theatre tickets?

Some people would think Abi was a lucky girl.

What, you know different, do you?

What those girls need from you is affection, attention, honesty,

not some grand gesture.

Throwing money at someone don't represent love.

It's a lazy way of pretending that you care.

I wouldn't take this the wrong way, Cora,

but I don't think I'm going to take parenting advice from you.

How is Rainie these days?

And when's the last time Tanya actually spoke to you?

Maybe you could learn from my mistakes.

You know, if you've changed, Cora,

why do you find it so hard to believe that I might have?

Because I can see right through you, Max.

The outside might be shiny and new, but on the inside,

you're the same rotten liar and cheat you always were.

I don't know what you're playing at,

but what I do know is those girls will end up as collateral damage...

again.

You keep saying you're not interested in me...

I'm not.

Then what was tonight about?

Are you going to kick off every time you see me talking to another woman?

No. Only when you're playing games with my sister.

Because you're jealous?

You're so arrogant.

Lauren, I feel like...

No. No. I'm not going to do this, OK?

I'm...

I wouldn't do that to Steven.

I don't think you love him.

You don't get to say that.

Would you be here sitting with me if you did?

Steven is loyal. He's dependable.

Are you describing your boyfriend or a dog?

Love isn't always about fireworks.

He's an amazing dad to Louie

and I'm not going to throw that all away for nothing.

DOOR OPENS

This has to be the worst 21st birthday ever.

Ah, it wasn't that bad.

My sister humiliated me in front of all my friends,

and then left with the bloke that I fancy.

She didn't leave "with" him.

Oh, come on!

Why didn't you go after them?

Or are you just happy knowing that you're second best?

Are you?

I suppose you're used to it, aren't you?

Let's face it, Abi, it's not just Josh who prefers Lauren, is it?

Look, I'm just trying to be honest with you, Abi.

Just like you were with me when you told me about the abortion.

Oh. Oh, so that is what this is about, then?

You're hurting so you want to hurt me?

You think this is me hurting you?

No, I'm not even trying.

You let her get away with aborting your baby,

and now you're just going to ignore the fact she's cheating on you, too?

We both know what they're doing together and you're just letting it happen!

You are pathetic!

No wonder why Lauren doesn't want you.

No, I didn't go after them because I know what I am capable of.

You know it doesn't mean anything, right?

Yeah, I know.

I don't care.