26/10/2017 EastEnders

Why have I only just found out about this meeting with my dad and Luke?

It's all right, you ain't got to feel left out, you're invited.

Don't, Max - we're meant to be a team.

I just want to get some stuff off my chest, that's all.

What stuff?

Ooh! Someone's got it bad.

No, I ain't.

You had the same look in your eye when you were 12

and you had a crush on that trainee social worker.

You remember how embarrassed you were?

It's only cos you told her.

She seems nice, talks proper English and everything.

So, when you going to introduce me?

-What?

-You heard.

Got to know she's good enough for my boy.

Yeah, well, we ain't that serious.

Fine, I'll go do it myself.

All right!

All right.

I'll, erm, I'll ask her to come for a drink at the Vic.

Nah, bring her over to ours later. We'll get pizza in.

Something wrong?

No. I'll ask her.

Right, so, you'll be at mine by about five, then?

If you tell me why.

It's a surprise. I can't wait to see your face, actually!

Look, today is not a big deal.

# Happy birthday to you!

# Happy birthday to you!

# Happy birthday dear Rebecca

# Happy birthday to you! #

-Make a wish!

-APPLAUSE

17, eh? Got the whole world at your feet!

-Got anything planned?

-Not really.

I thought your dad was going to give you driving lessons later.

Yeah, well, he's at the hospital with Stacey

and Mum's on a double, so it'll have to wait.

Except it won't, because I offered to teach you myself.

Uncle Robbie to the rescue!

Nice one, Robbie!

-Listen, meet me at your mum's car at one o'clock, all right?

-Great.

-Happy birthday.

-Thank you.

Robbie teaching you how to drive, that's going to be interesting.

Well, maybe later on we could

go over the highway code, if you want.

Yeah. Yeah, great.

Car Lot cash came through, then?

I said, the money came through, did it?

What? Yeah. Well, some of it.

I'm going in late today cos I'm waiting for a few deliveries.

Do you mean this ain't it?

I've only just started, bruv.

At least do something useful with it, instead of wasting it on toys.

All right, Mum!

Anyway, won't Billy need you today?

Thought you said he had some tax audit.

Oh, nah, nah, he can handle it.

Good, innit?

-Hey!

-Hey.

-It's my birthday today.

-Oh, uh, happy birthday.

Right, so you've got everything you need, yeah?

Absolutely.

I mean, it might look a bit, you know, to the untrained eye,

but that's...that's just my system.

Yeah, well, it's lucky that one of us has got a head for figures,

-isn't it?

-Certainly is.

Billy Mitchell, all right?

No, no, no.

William Mitchell. Good to meet you.

-Billy...

-Hi!

Mr Mayer and Mr Bridge from Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs. Hi.

Are you OK?

You look a bit unwell.

Do I? No, everything's good.

Just wondering if you were busy later.

Well, for you, I might be able to make some time.

What were you thinking?

The thing is, my mum was wondering if you wanted to come to ours.

You don't have to, though.

Your mother would like to meet me?

Yeah.

But, you know, if you're working

and Jack doesn't want you taking time out, she'd understand.

No, actually, I have the afternoon off.

Oh, right. Well, you don't want to waste that round ours.

We can do it another time.

Did you not want me to meet your mum?

Listen, we haven't been seeing each other long.

-If you feel it's too soon, then...

-No, it's not that.

So...

You don't think she'd like me.

She doesn't like anyone. It's not about you at all.

So why don't you introduce us?

Yeah, I'm being stupid. Course I will.

I'll pick you up when you finish work, yeah?

OK. Oh, give me some time to get changed first, though.

You look great as you are.

This is your mother. I want to make a good impression.

Last week you assured me you were fully committed.

Thought collateral damage was what you wanted, Max.

Yeah, but only when there was something in it for me.

I can appreciate that getting rid of Jane will do us all a favour,

but Carmel, I don't want her career being flushed down the toilet.

In battle there are always casualties, Maxwell.

It's a little late to start playing Florence Nightingale.

I've got you everything else you wanted, right?

But this is as far as it goes.

You're right.

We have almost everything we want.

So if you won't fulfil your part of the bargain,

what's to stop us throwing you to the wolves?

I told you before, she ain't on this number, so stop calling me!

Where's the rest of them?

Keegan's gone awol and Bernie's out with the boys.

You lost something?

-I'm tidying up.

-Why?

Ingrid has agreed to come over.

I can't have her seeing the place looking like this, can I?

Oh, you worry too much. She can take us as she finds us!

You'll be nice to her, won't you?

When have I not been nice?

I reckon I'll take my chances.

Quite the gambler, Maxwell.

No, not really.

See, I reckon the odds are stacked in my favour.

I know everything. I know all your grubby little secrets.

-OUR grubby little secrets.

-Exactly.

We're partners. I'm not a lackey.

So I ain't going to do your dirty work for you any more.

Very well.

We'll find another way to get the information.

Off you go.

I'm very disappointed, Sophie.

Come on, Dad...

I'll fix it, Daddy, I promise.

-How do you do that?

-Look, Fi...

I haven't seen anyone put my father in his place like that for years.

It was quite something.

PHONE VIBRATES

Carmel.

What, you haven't finished it yet?

No. I was going to go over there now, pick up some things.

Probably just leave her a note.

A note? Ouch!

See you.

Sophie and Max...

..it is still just a dalliance, isn't it?

-There we go.

-Thank you.

I'd offer you something a bit stronger,

but I wouldn't want you to think I was trying to bribe you!

Why would you need to do that?

I wouldn't!

No, I haven't got nothing to hide.

Nah, it's just, all this sort of thing makes you feel a bit...

It's like when you go through customs, you know -

it doesn't matter if you've never smuggled drugs in your life,

you still feel guilty, don't you?

You know, all them officers staring at you, eh?

Just me, then.

As long as you've declared all the information for the tax year,

you have nothing to worry about.

Oh, no, no, no. It's all there. Yeah, don't you worry.

Seems to be a booming business.

-A job for life, if you'll excuse the irony.

-Eh?

Oh! Yeah, yeah, good, yeah!

Yeah, well, as long as they don't find a cure for dying any time soon,

we should be all right.

And if we're not, well, I know where all the bodies are buried.

We have everything we need, so if you have clients to see...

Yeah, yeah, sure. You know, it's just...

Just interested, you know?

So far, so good.

Good. Right, well... I'll...

You were right.

Why waste money on toys

when I'm going to have enough for the real thing, eh?

See anything you like?

A flash motor?

Jay, all that cash'll be gone in a heartbeat if you carry on like this.

Oh, lighten up, will you?

Next you'll be telling me to open a pension

or invest in buy-to-let or something.

Well, we're young, right? And we should be enjoying ourselves.

I'm thinking new car, better flat, maybe a lads only trip.

Never know, I might carry on travelling -

I've always wanted to see the world.

And you think Billy's going to give you the time off for all that?

He ain't really got no choice. I'm handing my notice in.

That job was only meant to be a stop-gap anyway.

He's going to be gutted, mate.

Well, he'll understand.

I found these upstairs. Do you need them for the audit?

Where were they?

Somehow, they found their way at the back of my Bags For Life drawer.

You know I like to do my recycling.

It's just annoying, really, cos every time I go out shopping

I forget to take the bags with me. End up buying more bags!

-Soon I'm going to need a cupboard for life for my bags for life!

-Yeah.

-Anyway, shall I give them to the auditors?

-No, no, no, no.

They're all backed up on the office computer anyway,

they won't need them.

No, I'll just...I'll just put them through the shredder.

Oh, that's a relief. I had a bit of a panic on.

-I thought they might think we left them out deliberately.

-No, no.

Well, you hear all these stories about tax evasion.

And the idea of us being on the wrong side of the law again...

-Oh! It sent a shiver down my spine. Anyway, good luck!

-Thanks.

What you doing here?

Aren't you going to invite me in?

So?

Some papers needed signing.

What, and they're so important you've got to do them here?

Well, I had an ulterior motive.

It's lunchtime and I was hungry.

Yeah, well, the Vic does food.

Yeah, but they don't serve what I want.

Seriously, here?

What, are you scared?

The car is an amazing piece of machinery.

If you look after it, it will look after you.

My step-dad Alan taught me that. He was a chauffeur, you know.

Still in the business, but he drives a cab now.

When can I actually do some driving, though?

-We've been sitting here for ages.

-OK.

-DONNA:

-Check this out!

Robbie's teaching her to drive?

She must have a death wish!

Oh, dear! THEY CHUCKLE

Right - mirror, signal, manoeuvre.

-OK.

-Off you go.

-ENGINE REVS

-Good.

Now, put her into gear

and remember what I said about the biting point.

Slowly go forward.

Wrong way. Wrong way, wrong way!

-LAUGHTER

-Go on, Robbie! That's it.

Top instructor.

Gethin!

What are you doing?

Gethin! I've just remembered I've got a lot of work on,

so you're going to have to finish Bex's driving lesson.

I haven't driven in a while and I prefer to cycle these days, so...

-Yeah, but you have got a driving licence.

-Yeah, but...

Perfect! Get in.

Imagine how happy Sonia would be if she knew you'd stepped in

and saved the day.

Proper brownie points.

Hooray!

That car needs a service, I've been telling Sonia for ages.

A bad workman always blames his tools.

Oh, Rob! It was a joke!

Oh, come on! PHONE BLEEPS

Failure to disclose. I'm afraid this rather changes things.

We'll pay the difference off as soon as we can.

You'll receive an official letter stating how much you owe,

if there's going to be a penalty.

Then we'll look at how you're going to repay it.

But it was a genuine mistake, I swear.

HMRC are very strict about tax arrears, not to mention fraud.

We're not trying to sabotage your business, Mr Mitchell,

but if we can't agree a way forward then we'll have no choice

but to begin legal proceedings against you and Mr Coker.

No, none of this is Les's fault.

If you don't put all your cards on the table at the start

of the formal investigation then you might end up

being publically named, and no-one wants that.

How much are we looking at?

It will be in the letter.

Please! Sorry.

Just give me some idea, eh?

It'll be a substantial amount, I'm afraid.

Full of surprises.

I thought that's the way you liked it.

Yeah, I'm not complaining.

So, will you miss Carmel?

Carmel who?

I can't stop thinking about what we're going to do

-when we get all that money.

-Well, I've had a couple of ideas.

Tell me.

Well, they all involve a long-haul flight,

a sandy beach,

and a very, very big bed.

SHE CHUCKLES

DOOR SLAMS

-SHE GIGGLES

-Fi, it's not funny!

It is a bit funny.

Hey! Back to what you're best at, then?

Some skills are more transferable than others.

For example, I'll be putting my interviewing skills to good use

on my date with Sarah tonight.

The one that stood you up?

Turns out she had food poisoning. She was really ill.

Sounds like a lame excuse to me.

Why are you so bothered?

I'm not!

I just reckon that she sounds a bit flaky, that's all.

You're such a cynic, Donna.

If I had to give you some constructive criticism

after our practice date the other night,

I'd have to say that was one of your less attractive qualities.

Practice date?

It's like driving a car -

you wouldn't take a Porsche out for a spin without

truly refining your technique on a trusty old motor first.

Don't crash, will you?

Really good. I said you could do it, didn't I?

I had a good teacher.

All you have to do is practise regularly and you'll be fine.

I feel like I'm never going to get the gears, though.

You will. Come on, show me.

OK, um...

One, two...

..three, four, five.

Bex, this is me doing your mum a favour, nothing more.

-Is it?

-Yes!

We kissed, remember?

We've been through this.

So...?

If you carry on like this, I'm going to have to speak to your mum.

And I really like your mum, Bex.

Don't say I don't do nothing for you, Keanu.

BEEP!

Welcome to Taylor Towers!

-DOOR CLOSES

-Right, then...

Let me give you the once over!

Hey. Everything go OK?

-Yeah, couldn't have gone any better.

-Oh good, good.

Well, now that's done you'll have time to fix the wobbly shelf

-in the living room.

-Yeah, course.

Oh! And actually, before you pop up, can you pick up some spuds?

-I'm thinking about doing some sausage and mash for tea.

-Oh!

And extra helpings for you, Mr Clever-Clogs.

-Oh, hi, Jay.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-She seems happy.

-Yeah.

Listen, Bill...

..you know I've enjoyed working with you and stuff, and...

Well, now maybe I just think it's time for a change, and...

I don't know what I'm going to do, Jay.

About what?

The tax thing.

I messed up the last return.

Now I've got to pay it all back, plus a fine.

I weren't even meant to do it, Les was.

The only reason I filled it in

was because he was still in bits over Paul.

Yeah, but you've got money set aside for this sort of thing, surely.

I mean, money owed from clients that'll cover it.

Not enough for this.

We're talking thousands here, Jay.

This could ruin Les and me and all.

We could even be looking at doing a stretch.

What can I do?

They're barely worth anything second-hand and you know it.

Who are you? Mum?

Who do you think?

Oh, Mum, I told you this would happen!

Look, you was working in that bar Friday night.

Can't you just give them something?

That job's finished. I've got to make that money last.

Oh, useless! Look, can't you just take the games console?

Look, look, don't.

This is all I've got.

We'll get the rest soon, I swear.

Come on, let's go.

KEANU EXHALES

You have a good look, love? Better than the circus, we are.

The pizza's off.

Look, I'm sorry. She didn't mean anything.

Look, no! You don't need to explain anything.

Wouldn't blame you if you run a mile.

Do you think my family back home live like royalty?

It's a shame about that bar job, though.

No, not really.

All those pretty ladies. Handsome barman -

you could've made a lot of tips.

I'd rather be broke.

Wa-hey! Looking good!

Thank you. Have a smell!

Even got my lucky cuff-links on.

-Well, I hope they work out for you.

-Thank you.

Listen...

Maybe I can be a bit cynical at times.

Come here.

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

You'll find someone too, you know, one of these days.

It's in the bag, I just know it!

Did you get summoned as well?

Yeah.

What's this all about?

It's quite simple.

We may be partners, Max, but my daughter is not part of the package.

I thought you weren't coming.

Yeah, sorry I'm late.

But the thing is, Shakil, I'm really not in the mood to do anything.

All I want is a bath and an early night.

I begged my mum to stay out, so it's just the two of us.

You've gone to so much trouble.

You're worth it.

Oh, there's something else.

There's more?

SHE GASPS

How could you afford this?

It weren't much.

Here, come on.

-Give me your arm.

-Mm.

Listen to me, all right? Fi can do what she wants.

She's a grown woman. It's got nothing to do with you.

-Don't, Max.

-No, he needs to hear this.

We've been together a while.

It's not some convenient affair. It's serious.

Is this true, Sophie?

No, it's just a fling. It's nothing to get upset about.

It ends now, OK?

I wish I could believe that.

You can.

The sealed bids? Excellent.

Where did you get those?

Well, it looks like you've got nothing more to worry about.

It's like she said...

..it's just a fling.

Go on, take it.

No, I can't.

Go on!

If you don't I'll only nick your account details

-and put it in there myself.

-Jay, it's your money.

Yes! And you've looked after me all these years.

Go on, just take it, you muppet.

Go on.

All right.

All right, but I'm going to pay you back,

every penny, as soon as I can, yeah?

Yeah, yeah, whenever.

You make sure you spend the rest of it on something good.

What you got planned?

Nothing, really.

Not even a holiday?

Nah. You know me, mate - I ain't into all that rubbish.

I'd much rather be at home.

Thanks, boy.

I'm sorry.

You took those sealed bids out of Carmel's.

How could I? You were with me the whole time!

I don't know, I ain't got a clue, but I know you did.

That's what this afternoon was all about.

You're not the only one with council contacts.

Don't give it all that, Fi, all right?

I've just seen you for what you are.

-Which is?

-An operator.

Max, I came over to the house because I wanted you,

that's all, there was no ulterior motive.

Right, so what was that all about in there?

I had to say it! You don't know my dad.

We have to play the long-game, earn his approval.

Baby, please don't get distracted by this.

We're so close to getting what we wanted.

And that beach you were talking about? I can almost touch the sand!

Nah.

No, you've been taking me for a mug for long enough.

This is where it stops.

I'm done with you.