21/12/2017 EastEnders

Top quality, these are. Fresh off the boat from China.

They're a fiver each, but for you, love, I'll give you two for a tenner.

Someone is doing a Secret Santa at the traders' party, right?

-Secret Santa?

-Yes. I love Secret Santa!

Looks like you've volunteered your services, then.

HUBBUB

Hi. We're off out.

Oh, right. Where to?

Just going to do last-minute Christmas shopping.

Oh, yeah, yeah. You, er...you did say.

Ian, um...are we OK, me and you?

Yeah.

You and Josh, I've thought about it, OK?

I heard what he said and I accept it.

I can't expect you to put your life on hold.

It's going to take me time, OK?

But, yeah, you and me, we're OK.

Good! Huh!

Um...do you want me to have the little one? It's chaos out there.

No, no, I want to show him all the lights.

Yeah? All right.

Do you want to do something later?

Wrap some presents, make some paper chains,

do something really Christmassy?

Do you know what? I would really like that.

OK, cool.

-See ya.

-See ya.

Oh, do you want me to get you anything?

Me? Oh. Thanks. Yeah.

Just don't get me socks or smellies cos I get them every year.

That's not what you meant, is it?

-LAUREN CHUCKLES

-No, not exactly,

but cheers for the reminder.

Mick?

Ah! Caught you!

Found a good hiding place?

For my Christmas present.

Yeah, yeah. What's all this?

There's no point in packing up a load of old junk to take up to my mum's.

I thought I'd have a clear-out now.

Get it all down the charity shops before the post-Christmas rush.

You know, when everyone takes their unwanted presents,

smelly candles and...

-Mick, are you listening to me?

-Hm?

You've been like this for days, like you've got something...

Oh, I do. I've got a lot on me nut with the vow renewals

-and, you know, Christmas presents...

-I've got all that in my head, too,

along with us moving to my mum's and having no jobs!

And I'm all over it. I told you that, right?

Huh!

Say, "Hello, tree"!

-"Hello, tree!"

-Hey!

Hiya! You...haven't been waiting too long, have ya?

Oof! Not too long.

-You trying to make me feel bad?

-Absolutely.

-THEY CHUCKLE

-Come on, let's go. I'll take him.

Oh!

THEY CHUCKLE

Hello, mate!

Come on, Lauren.

MUSIC: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

One fried-egg sandwich.

Thanks, Kath, you're a life-saver.

Yes, of course, Mr Lister.

Yep. All right, no problem.

Yep. See you later. Bye-bye.

Ho-ho-ho!

Oi, Dreamy?

Are you managing to contain your excitement for the party?

Yeah.

Oh, come on, cheer up!

-ROBBIE SIGHS

-It's not that easy, is it?

Mr Lister has heard from the council.

-About the market?

-Mm.

And?

Well, he wants to have a meeting.

It's hardly going to be good news, is it?

Please don't tell anyone, Donna.

PHONE: Stacey? It's Jane.

-What have you broke?

-Nothing.

Er...what are you doing here?

-Early finish.

-My eye!

The last day's half a day, innit?

Oh! I thought I had enough on my plate with these two breaking up,

but now I've got you an' Bernie an' all!

-Merry Christmas!

-Mum, there's nothing to eat!

You should've had something before you came home.

-The canteen was shut.

-My canteen's shut an' all!

Here, where are you two off to?

To see the Christmas tree in the Square.

Oh, but we've got a tree here.

Take as long as you want.

Yeah, you did. Father Christmas, or...

Hi.

Robbie? We're doing a Secret Santa for the traders' Christmas Party.

-Are you in?

-I've got a lot on my mind at the moment.

Robbie, come on, we need you.

-You need me?

-Yeah.

To make up the numbers.

I don't know why I bother, I really don't.

I've got you down as getting something for Donna.

It is Christmas, I suppose.

OK. It's a £10 limit. Wrap it, label it, drop it off at the Vic.

-OK.

-OK.

Yeah, that's it, that's the one. It's for my angel costume.

Have you seen my dad?

Why would I have seen him?

Shrimpy said he saw him just now walking through the market.

Well, if you do see him, will you get him to call me?

MESSAGE ALERT

DISTANT SIREN WAILS

ENGINE STARTS

Ow! Ooo! Oh!

-You all right, Linda?

-Oh! Yes!

-Do you need a hand?

-No, I can manage, thanks.

It's just junk for the charity shop. Help yourself.

I bought you this.

Oh. Sorry. Huh! I don't know how that got in there.

-You can put it up in your new place.

-What, at my mum's?

Nah. You'll get a place of your own soon enough.

-I don't know.

-You can't stay at your mum's forever, can you?

I don't know. I don't know anything any more.

I used to think that this was it, you know?

We were settled here, and...and now...

And now...?

I'm trying to stay positive, but...

This place is to blame for so much heartache over the years,

but it's home.

Our home.

I don't know nothing.

You said you were going to ask some questions.

Yeah, I have, but...

-Don't lie to me, all right?

-I'm not.

What's the matter?

You're more scared of Phil than you are of me?

Is that it?

That would be a big mistake.

Listen, you hear anything, you let me know, yeah? Go on.

ANIMATED CHATTER

MUSIC: Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer

Mick? I've been talking to Linda.

-Oh, yeah?

-She's worried, you know.

I'm not. I've put the feelers out.

Another boozer will come up sooner or later.

And what about this place?

We'll miss the old girl, but it ain't exactly been hearts and roses, has it?

-A new start, it would do us the world of good.

-Mm.

-You don't think so?

-No, I do. I do!

-But Linda don't?

-Mick, I know you've tried everything,

but if you get a chance of a shot of saving this place...

..then I'd do it.

Jewellery's always nice. Earrings maybe?

Is Donna that kind of girl?

Is Donna what kind of girl?

He wants to buy her a present.

What...what for?

Secret Santa.

This don't sound so secret!

I was just asking Kathy for some ideas on the quiet.

Oh, really? Let us know how that works out for you!

I thought earrings.

Gold hoops. Really expensive ones.

You can't go wrong with gold.

A woman likes to feel that she's expensive.

Like she's worth it. Innit?

There's a £10 limit.

I would go for the personal touch, myself.

The personal touch?

Yeah, or get Donna something that means something to her.

I think people appreciate a bit of thought and effort,

as opposed to a bit of old toot.

-Denise?

-Hm?

-You are a genius! Yes!

Aw! Did you hear that? I'm a genius.

According to Robbie.

You all right, Ian?

What you up to?

Bit of Christmas shopping?

That's a bit violent.

I thought you was a peaceful man?

It's for Louie.

It's a little present. Um... Ahem! Stocking filler.

Oh, yeah, for his stocking.

Yeah, tradition in the Beale household.

You know, a stocking full of presents and a big pile of presents around the tree.

You don't know what you're missing.

What's that, an invite?

-No.

-Sure?

Sure you don't want me there, Ian, after all I've done for your family?

I mean, I supported you for weeks when Jane was in the hospital.

-What do you want, Max?

-Just having a chat, that's all.

Old mates.

I thought Willmott-Brown was your mate.

Oh, no, he's dumped you, hasn't he?

That's not very nice.

Lauren's told me what you've been saying, the threats.

I know what you're up to.

Do you?

Do you really, Ian?

You really think you know what's going on in my head?

I, um...I've got to go.

Yeah? What's the rush?

I'm meeting Lauren and Louie

to finish putting the decorations up.

He's a joy, that lad. Lights up the house.

Oh, here you are.

You forgot that.

-That's all right, keep it.

-Nah, I couldn't do that.

I tell you what, heads or tails?

-What?

-Just choose, heads or tails?

It don't matter, it don't matter if you're wrong.

-Why?

-Choose, Ian. Heads...or tails?

Tails.

You won.

-Won what?

-You'll find out soon enough.

Nah.

LINDA HUMS A TUNE

Hm!

LINDA EXHALES

We must give the phone back.

Oi! Oi! What are you doing?!

LINDA EXHALES

Trace? Secret Santa, can it be left with you?

-Yeah. Is that to go in?

-Oh, yes.

I'll stick it with the others.

-I need you upstairs.

-Can't it wait till later?

No. You and Shirl can manage on your own for a bit, can't you?

Yeah, 'course.

The market lot are going to be here in a minute.

Shut the door.

A gun.

You brought a gun into our house?

A gun!

Ollie could've found it!

What would you have done if Ollie had found it?!

-I know, that's why I hid it.

-I found it!

It weren't too long ago that Johnny was shot.

-Do you remember that?

-Yes, of course I...

Do you remember what that felt like, our son being shot?!

Him nearly dying?!

Oh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to find it.

No, no, no, this is not about me finding it, Mick, it's about you having it!

What is it for?

What is it for?!

I don't know. Someone asked me to look after it, that's all I know.

That Aidan asked you, didn't he? It's him, innit?

-So, he asked you to look after a gun, yeah?

-Yes.

But you don't know why.

You just took it, did you?! No questions?!

Look at it.

-Look at it!

-I know what it is!

Tell me what it's for.

I don't know.

No more lies.

After Whitney, we agreed, no more lies.

Tell me what it's for, Mick, and what the hell is going on.

Because...that isn't you!

No, it's not me, is it? Not good old, dependable Mick!

Diamond geezer, salt of the earth. Mug!

You're not a mug. You're not a mug! You're a good man!

Maybe I'm sick of being a good man.

I've spent my entire life doing the right thing, keeping me nose clean.

Where's it got me? I tell you where it's got me,

homeless, on the streets, without a dollar to my name!

All that hard graft and nothing to show for it.

So just maybe I'm sick of being a good man.

I brought your prize.

The Christmas spirit's just pouring out of me.

-Sit down, make yourself at home.

-I want you out of my house.

Let me just tell you what you've won, Ian.

Fine, tell me.

You get to go first.

-Go first?

-Yeah. It was just a...

..question of who deserved it more, you or Phil?

I've been racking my brains.

I ain't slept much, really, the last two days.

You can probably tell, I'm a little bit below par.

You or Phil, you or Phil?

It's just a question of who deserves to be first, that's all.

First to what?

Die.

The party's started.

You're going nowhere.

-I didn't know I was getting that.

-Don't lie to me.

I'm not, I swear to ya. He gave it to me.

I was meant to find out what it was for the other day. I couldn't get there.

It's not being used to kill someone? You know that?

Mick?!

He promised me that no-one would get hurt.

Oh, he promised! Right!

I wouldn't have anything to do with hurting anyone. You know that, don't ya?

Linda?

So, you're positive it's not to kill someone,

but you also said you don't want to be good any more.

So you must know what it's for.

What's it for, Mick?

Right, you either tell me, or I take that gun to the police.

SMOKE ALARM WAILS AND BABY CRIES

-PHONE:

-Hi, it's Martin. I can't get to the phone right now.

Leave a message and I'll ring you back.

BEEP!

BABY CRIES

I didn't go looking for this, I swear.

He came to me. I didn't want anything to do with it.

With what?

A job.

A job?

A robbery.

I wanted to provide for you and I wanted to provide for the family.

-Oh, beautiful!

-You kept on going on about us being homeless,

-you kept on say...

-And this is your answer, is it?!

This is what people do when they're up against it, is it?!

Eh?

-No.

-No!

LINDA SIGHS I just wanted to solve our problems.

Are you completely out of your mind?!

If you're trying to scare me, I mean, well done, you have.

I'm not trying to scare you.

What are you going to do? You're not going to...you're not going to kill me?

I told you.

-You wouldn't. Why would you do that?

-Why do you think?

Look, Max, this...this isn't funny!

No, it's not.

You and me were...we were friends. I mean, we still could be.

I mean, Lauren and Louie, they're only here

because they had nowhere else to go because of Steven.

Yeah, Steven.

That was a shame.

You, um...you stood by me when Jane was in hospital.

I couldn't have got through all that without you.

I mean, when you came out of prison, you...you said you were fine.

I lied.

You think I'd just forgive you, Ian, just like that, for putting me inside?

How'd you know I wouldn't have been sitting there rotting for 20 years?

Look, I wasn't...I wasn't...I wasn't thinking straight, OK?

It was because of...because of Bobby. I mean, I was scared.

-So, you let me take the rap?

-I-I-I'm not saying that.

-What are you saying? What are you saying?

-Max...

What are you saying?! Spit it out!

-Please, just...just put the knife down.

-Why?!

Are you starting to take me seriously now, are ya?!

All right, I'm sorry, OK? I'm sorry! OK! OK!

It ain't OK, Ian.

It ain't OK at all. It's very far from OK, mate, all right?

I've been waiting for this. I've been waiting.

Waiting!

I didn't know what I was going to do.

I didn't know whether I was going to take your money, your property,

make you suffer, but then I realised it's all nothing. It's all nothing!

Cos it ain't going to solve what's in here!

What's gnawing away at me in here!

It's out of control, Ian!

It's like a worm in there, eating away at me!

You take a look at me, Ian.

I'm a mess.

And you done that to me, all right? You done that to me!

So now I've got to sort you out!

I've got sort you out to get what's in there out!

Look, Max, Max, Max! Look, you need help, OK?

You...you need help. You...you're not well.

I mean, anyone can see that. I'm going to help you, Max.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-How are you going to help me? How you going to help me when you're dead?!

This is all about revenge. That's not going to help you!

MAX BREATHES DEEPLY

You'll go to prison.

I don't care.

I don't care about that, Ian.

Cos you...you and Phil made me suffer, so NOW...

Now, Ian...

..you're going to have to pay.

After everything we've been through this year,

your answer to everything is becoming an armed robber?

I mean, yes, yes, I said I didn't want to be living down the Arches in a cardboard box,

but it wouldn't matter, really, as long as we're together.

-You'd have nowhere to plug in your curlers.

-Well, I'll get tongs.

LINDA SIGHS

Do you remember what our first room was like back in my mum's old pub?

-I remember the mould.

-Black mould.

-Ice on the inside of the windows.

-It was horrible.

But we had each other and we were happy, weren't we?

Yes.

Yeah.

If you were involved in a robbery,

no matter how small a part, and even if you got away with it,

you'd never be OK with it.

You couldn't use stolen money.

You beat yourself up if you accidentally short-change someone in the bar.

And if anything happened to anyone...

..you'd never be the same again.

We'd never be the same.

Things like that...they damage people.

I know you.

And you are a good man.

I'd be happy living in a mouldy old cupboard,

as long as you were with me.

You are with me, aren't you?

Give that gun back. Tell him that you're out.

Cos if I ever see that or anything like it ever again...

..I will take Ollie and I will leave you.

Well, I'm just not sure it's my colour.

Looks like there's been a bit of a mix-up with a few of the Secret Santa presents.

Oi! I've been ringing and ringing you

and then I went looking for you to find some kid on the stall

who don't even know an apple from an orange!

Well, basically, Kush and I thought we'd come in here,

couple of beers before the party.

Yeah, I can see that, whilst I'm at home trying to sort out Christmas.

Instead of earning a living, Martin, you're sitting in here.

-All right. Don't worry. I'm on my way.

-Oh, forget about it, Martin.

Hey!

You got your Secret Santa, then?

I'll let you into a little secret. Ssh! It was me.

I got it.

You?

Whoa! What was that for?!

As if you don't know!

-Eh?

-What, was it supposed to be some kind of joke?!

-No.

-No? You wanted to publicly humiliate me, then?

A pedometer?

-What? I never...

-Well, two can play at that game.

Listen up, everyone. Enjoy your Christmas shopping

cos the market ain't going to be here next year.

Robbie's got a meeting with Lister. The market is gone.

-You what?

-Kaput! Game over!

Ain't that right, Robbie?

Wow!

Look, I've...I've got money! Lots of money! I'll give it all to you, OK?

-I'll sign everything over to you! It'll give you a fresh start...

-I don't want your money!

You don't have to stay in Walford, you could go anywhere!

-You could just have freedom...

-Just shut up! Stop trying to talk your way out of it!

-I'm going to kill you!

-No, just listen...!

-I'm going to kill you, Ian!

No, Max, please...please don't! Please! Just listen to me!

Just listen! Do...do you want the truth?

OK, I was too scared to say anything before because it was Phil, all right?

But this is all because of Phil.

He was trying to protect Ben and he bribed the jury.

It was him that sent you down, not me, OK?!

This was Phil. When I found out what he'd done,

I was...I was...I was gutted.

All right? And I've been tormented about it every since.

Look, it's... Max, it's not me you want to kill, OK?

It's...it's Phil. It's all Phil.

Yeah. Well, Phil is next.

-Oi!

-No! No!

-Oi!

-Max, You're not a killer!

-You don't know anything about me!

Max, don't do this! You do this, you won't see your kids again!

-Yeah?!

-Your daughter...

-They hate me!

Lauren doesn't hate you, does she?!

Max, you are not a killer! You are not!

I get you want to pay me back, but if you kill me,

it will not get that thing out of your head, will it?!

You're a good man.

You're a good man.

Argh!

-HELP!

-Yargh!

Help! Help!

MAX HYPERVENTILATES

IAN GASPS FOR BREATH No!

DAD!