22/12/2017 EastEnders

Dad, leave him alone! You're going to kill him!

-Get off me, Lauren!

-Argh!

Dad!

-SOBS:

-Please get off of him!

Please, please, Dad! Please, just let him go!

Please!

-WHISPERS:

-Please!

THEY BREATHE HARD

You nearly killed him!

-Keep him away from me!

-Just go, Ian! Go!

Is that what you were going to do, Dad, you were going to kill him?!

In front of your grandson?! In front of Louie?!

-Out the way!

-Oh!

-Oi!

Phil! Phil!

Phil!

JANE ON PHONE: And I have to warn you about Max.

-You can't trust him.

-Come on, we've got other stuff to buy, haven't we?

-You need to stay away. You don't know what he's capable of.

-It is Christmas.

-Oh!

Chatham and Riley will love these!

Waste of money.

Couple of Keegan's football socks would have done the same job.

I'm just trying to make Christmas a bit special for them.

-KAREN SIGHS

-We can't afford special.

What you cooking this year, turkey nuggets and chips? Oh!

KAREN SIGHS

Oh!

Is it too late?

No!

A little Secret Santa screw-up, Don. This should have gone to you.

Son, do you know where Robbie's gone?

Well, he's probably drying himself off.

Look, please don't make his day any rougher than it is already.

Whatever he tries to do, whether it's buying those T-shirts,

or paying for your rotten party out of his own money,

-you lot are still horrible to him.

-I'm sorry.

Do you know where he went?

Yes. But I need you to do something for me first.

I want you to get the market lot to have a little singalong.

Me and Robbie have promised Dot carols in the Square.

I can't get the market lot to do anything.

Oh, really? I think we both know you can.

'Ere, I don't suppose you've got any spare Christmas decorations?

Whatever happened to Christmas spirit?

Phil, look, something terrible's happened and, um...

Look, when you get this, if you get a chance, give us a call, yeah?

-All right?

-Yeah.

They fought together, died together.

Band of brothers to the end.

That's what loyalty's all about, eh?

Watching each other's back, no matter what.

-Yeah. Um...I've been thinking.

-That sounds dangerous.

And I've decided that...

You know, I-I ain't going to do it. Um...I'm out.

What?

What is wrong with you? You're acting like a crazy person!

Yeah. I am a crazy person.

Haven't you noticed, Lauren?

What sort of sane person does that to themselves?

Because of Ian, that is. Ian and Phil.

That's in past, isn't it? You've got to forget about it, Dad.

I ain't going to forget they put me in prison, am I?

Yeah. Yeah, cos what else are you going to do?

-Get revenge.

-How is that going to help?!

It's going to help me! It's going to help me in here!

It's going to help me in here! Do you understand me?!

You're not making any sense!

I ain't got to make sense, have I?

No, no, no.

No, Dad, please, you can't go back out there!

You trust me.

I'm going to pay 'em back.

I'm going to pay Phil Mitchell back.

You keep saying that like it means something. It doesn't, Dad!

Forget about Phil Mitchell! What you going to do?

You going to... You going to go over there?!

This is Phil Mitchell we are talking about!

What do you think he's going to do to you?!

Do you really want him to win?!

Cos it could be you that ends up dead! Not Phil - you!

I can handle him.

MESSAGE ALERT

VOICEMAIL: You have one message. BEEP

IAN: Phil, um...listen, something terrible's happened, OK?

'Ere, any chance I could have that tree,

you know, what's it called, on approval?

Oh, er...like on a trial, you mean?

Yeah, that's right. You know, just to see if it fits in the front room?

-Mm.

-You know, if it don't, I'll bring it straight back.

Right, OK, yeah.

Tomorrow?

-Or how about Saturday?

-No, no, I can't do tomorrow.

Oh, no, that's a shame.

How about, um...a few days after Christmas?

KAREN CHUCKLES

Sorry, Karen, I can't give you a tree.

But I tell you what, look, if you're going to send the boys into Epping Forest to nick one...

-Here you are, they're on me. Merry Christmas.

-Thanks.

Dad! Please don't do this!

Please! This isn't going to achieve anything, Dad! Just stop!

Dad, please, I've left Louie on his own and I'm going to go back.

Why don't you come back with me? Come back with me, Dad!

Stacey, please help me! Help!

Stacey, he's... He's tried to kill Ian.

He was strangling him, and he's going to kill Phil!

-What?!

-SOBS:

-Please! He's not listening to me!

Please try and stop him!

Phil!

-Phil!

-Max, what you doing?!

-Get out of here! What are you doing here?!

-I'm not going anywhere!

-What are you going to try and do, talk me out of it?!

-You need to calm down!

-I ain't going to calm down!

I ain't going to calm down until I've sorted him out!

Well, it looks like he's not home, so if I were you, I would leave before he comes back.

-Phil!

-Max!

No, Max! Max!

Don't! No! Max! Max, you're not going in there!

Listen to me!

What you going to do? You're going to wait for him to come back

and strangle him with your bare hands?!

Yeah. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea.

You'll go back to prison. That what you want?

-Yeah? Well, so what? I don't care! They framed me!

-Oh!

-They framed me and stuck me inside!

-Forget it, Max!

Look at you! Look at the state of you!

You're not thinking straight! You're not thinking at all!

This has got nothing to do with you!

Who are you, anyway?

Who are you, Stace? Some girl my son used to be married to!

-You don't care about me!

-Yes, I do.

Yeah? So, where were you when I needed you?

I'm here now, Max.

I'm here now.

Come with me, please!

Please!

If I ain't got this, Stace, what have I got?

-WHISPERS:

-You've got me.

You've got me.

How am I going to find a mouth at this late stage?

-What you talking about, mouth?

-You, Mick the Mouth.

Your job is to sweet-talk us out of any trouble.

I thought you said there weren't going to be any trouble?

You can never be certain. Now you're going to banjax everything

and turn your back on your mates.

Yeah, well, this ain't war, is it? It ain't life and death.

You sure about that?

I'm going to forget you ever mentioned that.

Here you are, take this with you an' all.

Mick? Everything all right?

All right, Bill? Yeah.

Er...yeah, just our friend here, he's had a bit of bad news.

Oh, right.

Yeah. I think he wants to be left alone, Bill.

-Has he lost someone, then?

-Yeah, in a manner of speaking.

Billy Mitchell, partner.

These first few days, they're never easy, you know,

but when the time is right,

professional help can ease stress in the most difficult situations.

At Coker and Mitchell's, there's no pressure, there's no hard sell...

-AIDAN CHUCKLES

-What?

Mitchell. You're not related to my old pal Phil, by any chance, are you?

Yeah, yeah, he's my cousin, as it goes.

Anyway, my office is just up there on the left,

if you ever need to talk.

You've certainly got the gift of the gab.

BILLY CHUCKLES

This might come in useful soon.

Yeah, well, like I said...

Thanks.

Here you are. Go and find yourself another mouth.

I'm sure you're going to get one.

If you should ever breathe a word of our plan,

your darling missus might just be making a call to our new friend, the undertaker.

Now, you listen to me, you old mug.

This is my manor. Don't come round here playing the big man.

Who's playing?

You leave me and my family alone. I don't care who you are.

I'll stick your little cane right up your bottle.

What happened to you?

What is it? What's the big mystery?

Max tried to kill me.

-All right?

-All right?

Is everything OK?

Sorted.

Whatever happened to an hard day's work?

They're saying the market's being closed down, so what's the point?

Right, folks, Donna's orders. We have to sing carols.

Oh, well, do be brief, won't ya?

Oh, come on, we're raising money for charity!

You don't have to be on the market to do it.

I'm doing it, why don't you?

-Nah, the old weasel's playing me up.

-You liar!

Come on, everyone! It'll be a bit of fun!

What's the point when Robbie's running a one-man campaign to put us out of business?

He's just bought you all a drink!

-Yeah,

-A

-drink. One drink each. Call this a party?

Sorry, you're not even a market trader.

But I'm like their mascot, innit?

Oh, come on, everyone, please. It'll be lovely!

We're not exactly full of the Christmas spirit, in case you hadn't noticed.

He tried killing me, OK? He... He was this close.

I mean, if Lauren hadn't come in, I wouldn't be here.

Where is he now?

I-I don't know, OK? I-I got out, I-I phoned you.

He said you were next.

-Did he now?

-Yeah.

You didn't mention any of this when you was on the phone.

Yeah, but I could hardly talk.

What, you didn't think to warn me?

-Phil...

-I could've gone home not knowing, couldn't I?

He could've been waiting for me. He could be waiting for me now!

I wasn't thinking straight.

What did you say to him?

Well...how do you mean?

Did you sell me down the river, eh? You blame everything on me, yeah?

No. Why would I do a thing like that?

To save your own skin, that's why.

I'm not that kind of person.

You did, didn't ya?

Phil...

He had a knife, OK? He was trying kill me.

I was scared. I would've said anything.

-You don't change, do ya?

-I'm sorry!

Phil, I'm... I am, I am sorry, but...

I thought I was going to die.

We've got to be together on this, All right? We got a problem. A real problem.

Look, I'm sorry, but we don't offer that instalment plan any more.

I'm afraid you're going to have to pay off the balance in full.

Yeah, that's my final answer. Thank you.

People fulfilling their commitments, it's important, isn't it?

Can't argue with that.

Man after me own heart.

Who is this, er...Coker fella?

Silent partner.

I'm what's called "in charge of client interface".

Ah. The boss?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I suppose you could say that.

Ah. Well, persuading people, you know, bereaved folks,

to part with thousands - money they don't really have - to buy what?

An old wooden box? Heh-heh!

Me, I'd be happy if they just chucked me in the Liffey.

Yeah, well, um...if you don't mind, I have got work to do...

I'm not criticising, I am in awe.

-Your powers of persuasion must be amazing.

-Hm.

You know, you and I, we should have a little chat sometime.

We do have an HR department who can answer any questions you might have.

Right! You!

Bridge Street Market is a brand that means something.

If you're going to try and close us down,

we will be there from 6:30 every morning

and you will have an unofficial, unlicensed, illegal market

blocking your streets until we're all arrested.

-Donna?

-What?

It's fine. The market's going to be fine. It's all sorted.

Oh.

OK. So...everything's all right?

-Couple of changes.

-Hm! One or two.

-You're sacking Robbie?

-He was asked to identify cost savings

so we could keep the market going.

Do you know what the biggest saving was?

The market enforcement officer's salary.

MEDIA PLAYS ON PHONE

KEEGAN LAUGHS

Outside, all of you. I want to tidy up in here.

I just went past the Queen Vic,

they're all going out, singing carols for charity.

Well, I reckon you lot should get in the spirit, you know, join in.

-Carols?

-I ain't a Christian!

I ain't asking you to get baptised, just join in.

-What's in the bags?

-They're rubbish bags, yeah? The clue's in the name.

Now, I'll give you lot ten seconds to make a choice.

You either help me tidy up in here,

or you go to the Vic and sing some carols.

Ten, nine, four...

-All right, all right, all right, all right!

-..three, two, one.

# A very merry Christmas...#

Oh, no!

Carols! I forgot about that, Donna!

Oh, come on, I thought they were your idea!

Yes. A bad idea.

No, they weren't.

This was a good idea, too.

Better than good.

Donna By Design, that's a brilliant brand name!

Hm.

Have you got any more good ideas,

seeing as though you're on a bit of a roll?

I just, um... I just wanted to say that I'm sorry, Stace.

Will you just call me back?

So, you've come to give us our marching orders in person, have you?

Time to be a hero, Rob.

Max?

MAX SIGHS

You're not real.

-Come on, let's get out of here.

-Well, where am I going to go?

Well, you'll have to come back to mine.

Max, you don't need this.

Cheers, Robbie. Well done, mate!

-Yeah, you did a good thing, Rob.

-Mm.

-Really.

Still can't believe Lister asked me to go back to market sweeper.

It's a job. You're like a rubber ball, Rob.

You bounce back, you always do.

You never give up. Am I right?

Like, for instance, if Martin interrupted you

as you were going to do something outside the Vic,

you would find a way to do that same thing another time?

Ah!

-OK.

-DONNA LAUGHS

-WHISPERS:

-Let's go.

Nuh-huh-huh-huh-huh-huh!

The both of you are not going to escape that easy, you know.

And as for you, Robbie Jackson, this was your idea.

So before you tell me you can't sing... Mm!

-PATRICK LAUGHS

-Yeah, man!

ANIMATED CHATTER

DOOR OPENS

He's not here.

What did he say?

He's really upset.

All right, where is he now?

I don't know. He's gone off somewhere.

Look, thank you.

Really, thank you. Without you, I'd be dead.

-No, you wouldn't. He wouldn't have done that.

-He would, and you know it.

-What are you doing?

-I'm calling the police.

-No, you can't! Please! Don't! Don't!

-He tried to kill me!

He'll go back to prison!

Good.

No, please! Please don't! For me, Ian.

Give him a chance! He needs help! He needs medical help!

And if you do this, it's going... It's going to finish him!

And it'll all come out, won't it?

What you done.

About Lucy, putting him away.

I just feel like it's better for everyone if we just...

If we just leave it for now.

Don't you?

PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-Lock your door.

He shows his face...and you call me.

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas

# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year

# Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

# We wish you a merry Christmas... #

Dot? It's Sonia. We're singing carols in the Square.

Yeah, listen!

# Now bring us some figgy pudding... #

Come on! Where's your change? Let's hear it. Come on.

# Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year... #

Oh!

# We all like figgy pudding We all like figgy pudding

# We all like figgy pudding

# So bring some out here

# Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year

# We won't go until we got some We won't go until we got some

# We won't go until we got some So bring some out here

# Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year

# We won't go until we got some We won't go until we got some

# We won't go until we got some So bring some out here

# Good tidings we bring to you and your kin

# We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy New Year. #

THEY PLAY THE KAZOO

FAINT SIRENS WAIL

SINGING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE

MAX WINCES

Nurse Stacey.

That's me.

I think I missed my calling in life.

-I think you might need stitches.

-I'll be all right.

Drink your tea.

Thanks.

What you going to do now?

-I don't know.

-Where you going to go?

-Oh, I'll be all right.

-Have you got anywhere to go?

Why don't you stay here?

Really?

Well, yeah, just until you sort yourself out.

Max, you need looking after.

You going to look after me, are ya?

Well, like you just said, Nurse Stacey.

Why you doing this?

Same reason you'd do it for me.

You think I would?

I know you would.

I need to go and pick the kids up.

Just make yourself at home

and I'll sort you out some blankets and stuff when I get back.

Stace?

Yeah?

-TEARFUL:

-Thanks.

It does, it means the world to me.

Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know...

-..what's going on.

-You don't need to say anything. Ssh!

MAX SIGHS

MAX SIGHS

Be good.

I'll let Martin know that we've got a guest.

# Noel, Noel

# Noel, Noel

# Born is the King of Israel

# They looked up and saw a star

# Shining in the east beyond them far...#