03/01/2018 EastEnders

I hate tell you this, but that Halfway's in there

dribbling all over your sofa.

Linda?

He's contaminating your furniture.

Do you trust Phil?

I mean, really trust him?

-Why?

-Three days.

Three days since they did that job, since Mick got shot.

So where's his money?

Babe?

-You're up. What are you doing up?

-I couldn't sleep.

You and me both.

Is something wrong?

No, no, I'm actually...

..I'm quite excited.

Yeah, I mean, I've got everything I want.

You, Pearl...

..maybe a little Junior.

You're all that matters, you know that, right?

What's gotten into you?

-Come here.

-Mmm.

Listen, I'm going over the caff later, to have a bit of breakfast,

if you fancy it?

Max?

Come on, please, talk to me.

I really appreciate you letting me stay here.

Easy. Florence Nightingale ain't got nothing to worry about, has she?

Yeah, I think you're inflamed.

Well, now you come to mention it.

Do you know who you remind me of? Our school nurse.

-Don't remember her.

-Oh, she was a raving little thing, she was.

I was in and out of her little cubbyhole all day.

She fancied me.

She couldn't take her eye off my verruca.

That will have done it.

-When are you supposed to get that money?

-Not now, L.

Phil must have said something.

I don't know. It'll be soon.

-And he ain't been in touch? Don't you think that's weird?

-L...

-Ain't you even curious?

-It'll happen when it happens.

And what if it doesn't, Mick?

-Look, I know I was dead against you getting involved...

-Yeah.

..but you are, all right? You earned that money.

It's yours and we need it.

I'm going to pretend that I didn't here that -

cos I ain't nobody's performing poodle.

Why didn't you tell me you'd stashed the gear for Aidan?

Phil, there ain't a law that says that I have to tell you everything.

-He kicked you off the job.

-He changed his mind.

-He lost it, more like.

-Well, if you're going to be like that.

I want to see it.

Look, me and Aid, we've got a sort of arrangement.

Let's go. Come on.

I've got funerals all day.

-Now, come on, let's go.

-No, not without his say-so.

Oh, don't you look smart, Billy?

Yeah, I've got a job on.

Well, I didn't think you were going for a jog.

Right, don't expect me back till tonight, OK?

Well, don't spend all my money, will you?

It's the sales. I'm saving you money.

Billy! Billy!

You're usually a stickler about all this.

Nothing comes down before Twelfth Night.

Well, this Christmas hasn't exactly been the season of goodwill

and glad tidings, has it, love?

That poor girl.

No, you're not chucking those.

Judith and the kids are not coming round, Ted.

She can't help it if her car's broken down. These things happen.

We can post them.

She said she'd prefer the cash.

Well, I suppose I could take them round the charity shop, eh?

Or you could save yourself a walk.

Philip, calm down. It's all in hand.

Yes, today.

I'll see you there in an hour, OK?

Popular as ever, JP?

Oh, my cross to bear.

So, you going to give me what I really want?

Always business, Ciara.

I did learn from the best.

Unless of course you want me to ring the police?

A quick ride and she'll keep her mouth shut, huh?

You're not that good.

50/50.

Bleedin' comedian.

I'll give you what you want. I'll take a few trinkets.

But it seems such a shame, we're so good together.

Why don't we have another go?

And what about your little East End crew?

What about them?

Tell you what, I'll meet you back here at 12

and we can discuss matters further.

So we're just going to sit here, then, do nothing?

And how are we supposed to pay Fi? With fresh air?

We did all right last night, didn't we?

It don't even touch the sides of what we need.

Can't a man have a pony in peace?

Morning, Mrs C.

You got rid of that booze yet?

-Oh, I wanted to speak to you about that...

-Then shut up!

Oh, the joys of married life.

You should try it one day, kid.

It's a beautiful thing.

Go and talk to Phil. Call him, at least.

We don't need the agg, babe.

-I had a dream about her last night.

-Yeah?

Yeah, she had a right go at me.

Talk about stroppy cow.

She said that I had borrowed one of her going-out tops

and I didn't.

She went really red in the face.

She was just yelling at me.

Just...

Just arguing over nothing, really.

Then I...

Then I just screamed at her...

I screamed at her. I said, "Drop dead!"

-I said, "Drop dead!"

-Hey, hey, hey.

What if Dad's right?

What if there is something that we can do?

Lauren, they've done all the tests.

Yeah, but what if they've got something wrong?

They might have. What if they've got something wrong?

Dad, you're not supposed to be here.

Give that to your mum, will you?

-What is it?

-Just give it her, please.

She's not going to take it.

Well, she will... if she wants to save Abi.

I still keep thinking she's going to walk back onto the Square,

tell us it was all a wind-up.

That's the sort of thing she'd do, as well, innit?

Yeah, her jokes never were any good.

Oh, mate...

..I know she never believed me, but...

..I did love her.

How can she be gone?

DOOR OPENS

We could do a happy hour.

Beer cocktails? It would take us months to shift them.

-This ain't all down to me.

-No, guilty as charged.

It's my fault for expecting joined-up thinking from you,

when you can't even do joined-up writing!

I was only going to make a phone call!

What, have you lost the plot?

What, you want to make it ten times worse, do you?

How would getting our money make things worse?

-Not really your place, though, is it?

-Say that again.

I don't mean it like that, you just don't know how these things work.

-And you're the expert!

-Yeah, I know the apple, L, yeah.

Is this a private argument, or can anyone join in?

What happened to me and you being happy in a cardboard box?

-Me and you against the world?

-I know what I said, but we belong here!

Ollie's going to grow up here, our grandkids are going to visit.

I can't help the way I feel, Mick.

You're not getting involved and you're not ringing Phil.

-Maybe you're right.

-Hallelujah.

-Why bother with the monkey?

We need the organ grinder. You have got Aidan's number?

-Have you woke up with like a screw loose or something?

-Shouldn't be too hard to find.

Listen, you ain't going anywhere near him.

Do you understand me, Linda?

Soppy, make sure she don't sneak out, either, all right?

Why do dead people need horse-drawn carriages anyway?

Oh, don't let Billy hear you say that.

Yeah, well, if was up to me, I'd ban them.

I thought it was supposed to be good luck.

That's pigeon muck, I think.

Who needs luck, when you have brains?

Dad?

Where's William?

Don't bother, I'll find him meself.

Er, excuse me! You can't go in there.

Don't worry about him, he's all right.

Right, well, I best get back to the Arches.

-Yeah, all right.

-I'll see you later.

-Yeah, see you.

Listen, what I...

What I said about your dad...

Look, you haven't got to keep apologising, all right?

I told you, I get it.

-Do you?

-Yes.

In the grand scheme of things, it's not important, is it?

Not now, especially after what's happened to Abi.

-So you're saying we're all right?

-Yes.

So, what yous lot doing? Having a lock-in, are you?

Something like that, yeah.

-That's beautiful, babe.

-Thanks.

-When they coming?

Any minute.

Vincent, I was thinking...

So was I. I think we need should move.

Move?

Yeah, I mean, Walford's not the be-all and end-all.

There's other places.

Better schools, better neighbours.

Yeah, but I like it round here.

So do I, but change is always good, yeah?

And I was thinking that it would be good for us to get away.

KNOCK AT DOOR

I mean, think about it - Fox-Hubbards are expanding.

It makes sense.

-She needs to read it.

-She won't...

Look.

It's all people that were written off like Abi, and now...

Now look at them.

Look... Look, Max, I know what it's like.

I mean, with my dad, I thought...

I don't want to hear about your dad.

I think it's best if you leave.

Tanya's already told security about you harassing her.

Mind you, Abi's already messed up your plans, hasn't she?

Yeah, you'd be happy as Larry in Scotland, if she was dead.

In fact, is that why you're manipulating Lauren?

-I'm not manipulating Lauren.

-Yeah, well, you'd better not.

Cos otherwise you'll be next in intensive care.

I'll switch you off myself.

That's a very fine ring she's wearing.

Billy, where's our money?

Look, I can't get it now, I've got staff out the back.

-Well, get rid of them, then.

-If you'd like to come this way, sir.

Who are you?

What you doing poking round my mother-in-law?

Father O'Donovan. Pleased to meet you.

You're a man of the cloth, dressed like that?

I'm in my civvies.

-Sorry.

-I thought you was a wrong 'un having a rummage.

No offence, like.

I trust everything is as you wanted?

God's honest, I'm glad to see the back of her.

Never could stop giving it all that,

day in, day out.

Right, well, we'd best get off, yeah?

Could you say a few words, seeing as you're here?

Don't say I don't do nothing for you, you old cow.

Don't need her haunting me, do I?

It's John. Hi, John!

-Did you have a good Christmas?

-Yeah, good.

-Happy New Year!

See, I told you, they're going to love those presents.

Only after I convinced Karen we weren't

looking down our noses at her,

turning her into a charity case.

Well, you know what she's like - all mouth and bra straps.

It was a good idea, Ted.

-I'll put a cheque in the post for Judith tomorrow.

-Yeah.

Dead?

Not quite, still a bit of life left in us.

-A bit like this place, eh?

-Yeah.

Where would we be without our local?

Sat at home talking to each other, I expect.

Well, the Square wouldn't be the same without The Vic.

-We're not out the woods yet, Ted.

-Well, you've reopened, haven't you?

All you've got to do is keep going.

We can't have another boozer going down the swanny.

We will barricade ourselves in if we have to. Right, Joyce?

-Certainly will.

-I'm sure it won't come to that.

That's the spirit!

-Halfway?

-Yes, Mrs C?

Make sure Mick stays upstairs, will you? I'm popping out.

-But he said...

-I know.

But we both know what I'll do to you if you breathe a word.

Understood?

HE SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE

-Amen.

-Amen.

That was beautiful, Father.

Like talking in tongues.

Yeah, well, cars will be waiting.

-If you'd like to join my colleague, Mr Brown.

-Right you are.

What exactly did you say?

Oh, come on, Billy, no more excuses.

I've got to seal her up, OK?

I have to go to the church with them.

We'll do it when I come back - when everyone's gone.

There you go, all made by my own dainty hands.

Oh, yeah, man, with a special ingredient, eh?

Yeah, man!

-What?

-What is it? Hair?

-No!

-Oh!

-Oh, let me see.

-You know, if you was a professional

I could sue you because right now I feel sick.

Ah, come on, now, no harm done.

Vincent, how about getting some tunes, all right?

Yeah, yeah, that's a great idea.

Carmel! See, that's one of hers, that!

Oh, I can't seem to get away from the woman!

As if the place ain't pokey enough,

-she's parking herself in there every day. I'm sorry.

-It's all right...

Calm down now, man.

You all right?

KNOCK AT DOOR

-I'll get it.

-No, no, you chill. I'll get it.

Where's Aidan?

Relax, Philip.

I'll relax when this is over.

Not having fun?

MOBILE BEEPS

Ah, my old friend. Where did you come from?

Billy's back.

I thought I had it won, there.

You coming or what?

I've got to rally the troops.

-Just give me his number.

-Does Mick know you're here?

-Have you got it or not?

-Didn't think so.

-Has he paid you?

Look, I'm having a lunch with my family, so if you don't mind...

Yes, yes, I do, actually.

That money is the only thing that stands between me

and my family being thrown out on the street.

It's been nice talking to you.

You don't even care, do you? What is wrong with you lot?!

Vincent.

His number?

-What number?

-Oh, one of your suppliers.

Yeah, we've got some cheap booze we thought they might be interested in.

-We've over ordered.

-Yeah, I doubt that they'd be interested.

Right.

You leaving already?

Got a pub to run.

I'll find him, with or without you.

Linda!

-Linda! Look, he's not to be messed with.

-Oh, change the record.

You don't know what he's capable of.

-Well, he doesn't know what I'm capable of.

-Murder!

-Look, he tried to kill me.

-What?!

The only reason why I'm still breathing is cos Phil stopped him

-and he took The Albert off me.

-Does Mick know?

No, look, he's a mentalist.

He'll off anyone that gets in his way.

MOBILE RINGS

Mick?

Mick!

He ain't here.

I'm fine, really. Just bung us a sausage sandwich, will you?

Why don't you come over to ours for dinner tonight, eh?

-We've got a fridgeful.

-Honestly, Kath, I'm all right.

Martin, you're a growing lad.

Stacey would never forgive me if I let you to starve to death.

Any idea when she's coming back?

Erm, no.

No, not yet. Just seeing how it goes.

-Jean's not that ill, is she?

-You know Jean.

I don't, no.

Well, yeah, she's a handful.

Bet you're missing the kids.

Goes without saying, don't it?

You've got to help me keep Mum off his back.

It's not like you're innocent.

How much did he give you to set them fireworks off?

This is the worst Christmas present ever.

I'll swap you for a yo-yo.

This stupid game don't even make sense.

-"Knight. Bishop. The pawn?!"

-Oh...

Give it back, Keegan!

I take it you approve, then, eh?

Yeah, it's great. Thank you.

Ted'll be chuffed.

Two sticky buns, please, love.

Give Stacey our love when you next speak to her.

Yeah, yeah, I will.

Just a coffee, please.

People feel helpless, Max. They want to do something.

I did suggest an animal charity. She loved animals.

-Yeah, but why does it say "In memory"?

-Max...

-Just get rid of it, Kathy.

-No-one deserves to lose a child.

I haven't lost anyone, have I? Cos she ain't dead.

Get rid of it. My daughter's still alive.

-Tell him to stop calling me.

-I ain't telling him nothing.

He's your mate, he'll listen to you.

You got me off the hook once, mate. Come on.

You'll get what you deserve, Vincent.

A deal's a deal.

I promised you a cut, a cut you'll get.

Look, I don't want it, all right? I just want The Albert,

so I can sell up and just get the hell out of here.

Not on my account, I hope.

That bar's nothing but grief, you don't need it, take it from me.

Maybe I don't, but he has got to pay for what he did.

Let's call it recompense.

So you'll be coming with us to the House of the Dead.

Time to divide up the proceeds.

I dare say you'll need it.

Nothing worse than being unable to provide

for your nearest and dearest.

He can't take The Albert.

He can and he will.

Now just take the money and go, all right?

And don't wind him up.

Now, listen, I've already told you, I don't care what it costs.

So just do it.

Daddy says Mummy's looking after Abi in heaven.

Guys, why don't you go and wash your hands

and then we can have something to eat, OK?

I'm sorry, Max.

I could make you some lunch, too. I just...

I didn't realise you'd be home so soon.

What did they say about switching the machine off?

It's not happening.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was why you were meeting the doctor.

What do you mean?

Jack... Jack just said that...

I couldn't keep my mouth shut... I had to keep going on at him.

I hate this stupid pub!

We don't know he's gone to see Aidan.

He was going stir crazy stuck in there. You know what Mick's like.

So why's he not answering his phone?

Why's he un-paired it with mine so I can't find him?

Are you sure he didn't say where he was going?

I swear! On my mother's grave.

Your mother's probably still alive and kicking

selling dodgy handbags down Bethnal Green Market!

Leather jackets, actually, but...

You don't care, do you? It's not enough that you shot him!

I'm not his keeper.

Look, he's going to be all right.

Even if he got it in his thick head to go and see Aidan,

he can handle that old geezer, even with a manky arm.

No, he can't.

Aidan ain't just a thief, Shirl.

So there's definitely nothing you can do for her?

I'm afraid not.

Erm...

Well, when are you going to...do it?

-When are you going to...?

-Switch off the ventilator?

-No, no, no, no. No-one's doing anything.

-Max.

-She's going to be fine, Lauren, I told you.

-No, you lied.

-She's dead, Dad.

-Why can't you hear that?

-Am I the only one that can hear that?

-It's the machine, Max.

It ain't a machine, it's Abi, all right?

It's Abi not giving up, fighting, begging us to fight for her.

So you can forget about switching that off.

What have you done?

You want to check your e-mails. I've got a court order.

-Mr Branning...

-I'm going to get another doctor to check her out

and hopefully it will be one that ain't going to write her off.

Like pigs around a trough.

I mean that in a good way.

Thank you for being here, gentlemen.

So you was in on it all along, was you?

Thought you'd been elbowed.

I decided his talents lay elsewhere.

-In your own time, Billy.

-Will you stop having a go?!

Just get it done, will you!

All right, all right, keep your hair on!

You know we're going to have to lie low for a bit after this, don't you?

-What?

-Well, in case anyone comes sniffing round.

The Old Bill?

I don't want anyone hanging around getting in to trouble, squealing.

You've got to stay well under the radar for two weeks.

I can't disappear, I've got a wife and kids.

-I've got to run this place.

-Not you, Billy.

Or you. We have business.

I'll be keeping tabs.

Keanu, you got a problem?

What? No.

It just gives me the creeps, that's all.

It's just, my grandad was in one like it.

-Solid oak?

-Yeah, it was oak.

-No, I don't think so.

What it was - it was probably veneer.

It's just that this is the dog's...

Listen, I don't care if it was coconut. Open the box, Bill!

-Billy!

-All right, all right!

Well, it's heavy enough.

You ready?

Thank you for keeping the loot safe.

It's been double locked in the morgue.

Now. Showtime!

-Phil, I've got it, all right?

-Ain't got all day, have we?

Leave it, will you?!

THEY GROAN

-AIDAN:

-Where's the money?!