24/01/2018 EastEnders

Go back to bed if you want, we can sort downstairs.

Yeah, I'm sweet.

You were up most of the night.

It's like I said, I kept rolling onto me arm.

So, when are you gonna call Fi?

To tell her we got the cash?

I can't wait to get my hands on that freehold again.

We should get it framed.

Yeah, I'll call her later.

You have got the money, haven't you?

Yeah, course I have.

There's nothing to worry about. It's coming tomorrow.

That's when we're supposed to give it to her.

Yeah, I know it's a bit close to the wind but,

like I said, it's all sorted.

Right, well, you rest up.

I'll sort downstairs.

Come on, folks. Come and get your juicy oranges, four for a pound.

No Martin today?

I don't think he's letting the kids out of his sight just now.

Why, what's he think's gonna happen?

Kush, all I know is that he asked me to open up

and said he's going for custody.

Oh, sorry, love, what do you want?

Halfway!

Shut the door.

-What was I thinking?

-You've still got 24 hours.

To do what? I've tried everything.

There is no money.

There's never gonna be any money.

-Now I've lied to her face.

-There's always a solution to every problem,

you just haven't thought of it yet.

Speaking of problems,

well, not exactly a problem but it's something I wanted to ask you.

-It's Whitney. I'm meeting her later. Drinks and that, you know.

-Mm-hm.

Mm-hm. What, a date, yeah?

Well, if you want dating advice, you're talking to the wrong geezer,

cos me and L, we just sort of fell into it.

You know Whit better than I do.

And the thing is, I think she's a right sort.

If she agreed to be my girlfriend, I'd be proper made up.

Obviously you don't think of her like that but she's quality.

Mmm.

I'm sure it'll go well, you know.

Well, what I wanted to ask you...

I've got enough on me plate, in't I?

OK, um...

What you need to do is just, you know,

just be yourself, treat her special, relax,

but don't relax too much, because I've heard some of the noises

that come out of that bottle

when you think no-one's knocking about.

I wouldn't do that around Whit. Never.

-You really like her, don't you?

-You've no idea.

I'm going to relieve Auntie Kath, OK?

Right, now, if Stacey tries anything, you just shout, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Good. Seen my keys anywhere?

-Yeah, they're there.

BABY WHIMPERS

Dunno, maybe I should stay home today.

And do what? Sit around worrying?

Right, well, you have gotta promise me,

you won't let her anywhere near those kids. I mean it, Whit.

If you let her in, she's just gonna grab 'em and disappear.

-This is the best place for them and you know that.

-I know.

-Good.

-I just feel bad, that's all.

-Yeah.

-But you're right - the kids need stability.

-Yeah.

-Just go to work, yeah?

-Yeah, course.

-Martin, you need to think about Lily getting back to school.

-No, no, no.

She's loving it upstairs. She'll be fine.

I've locked all the windows so there'll be no repeat of that. OK?

-Yeah.

-I tell you what, you can bolt the door when I go as well, yeah?

See? I told you she'd love the formula. There's a good girl.

-Right, see ya later.

-Bye.

-And don't forget to bolt the door.

Yeah.

They really need to sort that out.

Seeing as you're, um...

..still feeling "sick",

you can look after the kids this afternoon, can't ya?

Why, where you goin'?

I said I'd have a drink with Halfway.

A date!

A drink.

Oh, I knew it! You two are perfect for each other.

Hashtag matchmaker.

Hashtag babysitter.

There you are.

Yeah!

Just admit it.

-You fancy him.

-As if!

BABY WHIMPERS Wish I hadn't agreed to it now.

Sh-sh-sh!

Yeah, right.

-Oh.

-You all right?

-Yeah.

-Can I?

-Cheers.

-You OK?

Nice surprise.

Oh, it's all right for you, telling me to be patient.

She's on the phone. Can I get you a cup of tea? You got time?

I haven't got long, Shrimpy's keeping an eye on the stall.

I just wanted a quick word. Is that all right?

I need to feed Hope but he's not letting me anywhere near her.

He's giving her formula.

I think that's her solicitor on the phone.

Ah, actually, that's, um, that's what I've come to see you about.

How do you feel about it?

-What, Martin and Stacey?

-Yeah.

Well, I was hoping they would've sorted it by now.

but I'll tell you something,

just having her here for a couple of days -

and we're doing her a big favour having her here -

it's dig, dig, dig all the time.

You know, I'm surprised Martin's put up with it for as long as he has.

-Hm.

-Normal or herbal?

-No, no. I'm fine.

Erm, he's... he's talking about custody.

I mean, not that he'll get it but...

Well, he might.

I mean, she's the one that's cheated,

not that I'm taking sides.

I think we need to step in. Martin loves Stacey, there's no way

-he's gonna want this ending up in the divorce courts.

-Listen.

I've learnt my lesson, all right? I'm not getting involved.

I can't stand by and just watch them take shots at each other.

Was that your solicitor?

Ah, no.

-Just a friend.

-Well, hopefully there won't be any need for solicitors,

-cos I'm sure you and Martin will be back together soon.

-No.

Not now.

How is he today?

Well, I haven't seen him but he's hurting. I mean, you both are,

but you've got to think of the kids.

Are you saying I'm not?

No, course you are.

You are, I mean, but, I mean, just look what happened with Lily.

They don't understand what's going on, do they?

Kush is right. You're playing him all wrong.

Oh, really, Sonia?

All right, so why don't you tell me how to play Martin, then?

You lived with him all these years, you must know.

Cos that was a really great marriage, weren't it?

Not talking to each other weeks on end.

Go on, I'm all ears.

We had a good marriage, all right? Martin was a great husband.

Well, if he was that great, why did you divorce him?

If you two would just sit down and talk.

There is no talking to him, Kush!

I can see who's side you're on.

-It's not about taking sides, is it? You're both my mates.

-Really?

-Yeah.

He has stopped me from seeing my kids, our son.

He's taken my baby away so I can't even give her my milk.

I really... I thought you would have my back, Kush, I really did.

-See what I mean?

-Yeah.

TV IS ON

SHE COUGHS POINTEDLY

What? I'm suspended!

That don't mean you get to lounge around all day.

-Have you been hanging around with a new crowd?

-No.

So, you just fancied a bit of out-of-character vandalism, yeah?

I'd expect that sort of thing from Keegan, not you.

There's something you ain't telling me.

And until you do, you don't get to put your feet up.

Perfect weather for stews, ladies and gents.

Come and get your stewing vegetables here.

Mate?

Right, um...

..I've been thinking, mate, and I've gotta say.

This better not be about Stacey.

You can't be serious about going for custody. I mean, I get it.

I get you wanna make a stand but...

Why should I be the one who misses out on bringing the kids up?

Right, I've done nothing wrong.

Please tell me you've got my back with this one.

-I think you're making things worse.

-No, I'm making them better...for me.

Yeah, cos I am the one who's still tucking the kids up in bed at night.

Right, they're as much my kids as they are hers.

Well, technically Arthur's mine.

All I'm saying... is that it's complicated, OK?

And you've got to sort it out before things go too far.

It's already gone too far.

Mick didn't sleep last night.

He says it's his arm but I think he's covering.

-Look at that!

-Wow!

-Brilliant!

-Let's do it again.

-All right, do it again.

-Well, go on.

He's got the money from Aidan...

..but the rest of them aren't getting theirs.

He says its just an arrangement between the two of them.

-Well, that sounds a bit fishy.

-Exactly.

You know, I don't want him having any arrangements with that man.

He tried to kill Vincent and is forcing him to sell the Albert.

What's he gonna want in return?

I'd rather we just walked away from here altogether.

And when he's laying in bed,

all I can see is the scar from where the bullet was.

It's always gonna be there, innit, reminding us...

..if he's back in with Aidan?

RINGING TONE

Vincent, where are you?

Why do I have to be your slave? What happened to Dot doing it all?

Maybe it dawned on her she weren't getting paid? Bless her.

You know, give her a few days, she'll be back.

Soap powder's in her veins.

Oh, you dropped a pillowcase.

That service wash needs sorting.

Glare at me all you like, this is what you get for being suspended.

Quality mum and daughter time.

How do I wash these? My sister's treating me like a slave.

Oh, she'll help you. I'm taking me break.

Use that one.

Oh, I'll do it.

Not meant to use this one cos it works without money.

Oh, right, nice.

So, you worked here long?

I don't work here, I got suspended from school.

Why, what d'you do?

I put a brick through a teacher's car window.

I'm staying with my sister.

My mum abandoned me.

And my cousin, right, she was on a life support

and they just turned it off and she was pregnant,

so they had to, like, cut her open to save the baby.

My baby died.

Oh.

I'm Tiff.

Bernie.

Lovely, thank you. Here you go, keep the change.

Oh, thanks.

Kath, what do you think of all this with Martin and Stacey?

Well, it's sad, innit?

I mean, I just can't believe she'd do it to him,

not after everything he's done for her.

-Hey.

-Cheers.

-All right.

-Thanks, darlin'.

-All right?

-Yeah.

If anyone is having custody of Arthur, it's you.

You have got to fight for your son.

Look, I am telling you this, Kushy.

The way Martin's behaving, soon as Stacey gets her hands on those kids,

she will be off and we won't see Arthur

from one Christmas to the next.

Stacey wouldn't stop us from seeing him, Mum.

Wouldn't she?

I've bitten my tongue.

I have toed the line but now this!

Bed hopping with...

..with Him Who Shall Not Be Named.

That man is poison.

If she has gone anywhere near him, she is unhinged.

There, I've said it and I don't regret it.

We have got to work on bringing Arthur to where he belongs.

Let her be the one who only is allowed to see him

a couple of hours here and there. See how she likes it.

This isn't about point scoring, is it?

This is all wrong. You know what?

I have got to stop this before it goes any further.

Now, usually I can sort out my problems,

but I can't see a way out of this one, Vincent.

So I'm here and I'm here with me begging bowl.

You think I've got millions tucked away?

We're talking 150 bags

and I'll give you more interest than any bank would. Now Maguire...

he's shafted us both so we need to stick together more than ever.

Now I can't do that if I'm in Watford.

I'm desperate.

I know that it's a lot of dough.

I hate the fact that I've got to ask you this.

When do you need it?

I need it as soon as.

Give me a couple of hours.

You and, er... You and Whitney? Mmm. Yeah, I suppose I can see that.

-Where are you taking her, somewhere nice?

-Only downstairs.

-Oh, so it's a casual thing, then?

-No.

You're meeting up in the place where she's just lost her job,

surrounded by people she knows including her ex-in-laws

and you think it's more than just a casual date?

-You've got no idea about women, have you?

-Well, what should I do?

-Leave it to me, all right? What time are you meeting?

-Er, one.

Well, that don't give us much time.

No, no, no, it's doable.

I'll throw something together, make it romantic.

Johnny can help me, he's good with a candle.

-Now nip downstairs and tell him I need a word.

-Nice one.

Sorry.

-There's something I need to tell you.

-I knew it.

I knew there'd be conditions.

Look, whatever it is, you're not doing it.

Just give Aidan back the money.

We can go to Watford.

No, I lied to you and it's driving me mad.

The money's not from Aidan,

it's from Vincent.

Why did you say it was from Aidan?

Vincent didn't want Kim finding out.

So you'd rather let me worry myself sick thinking you'd got

more involved with that man just to keep Kim in the dark?

And since when did I become someone who couldn't keep her mouth shut?

I'm sorry.

I thought you'd be happy that the money's from Vincent.

Well, yeah, I am, I suppose.

I knew you weren't being straight with me.

-You're a bad liar, Mick, never forget that.

-I know.

It's all worked out lovely, though.

We've got the Vic back, we'll graft, we'll pay Vincent back

and we'll just put all this behind us.

Yeah? Come here.

-Come on, then. What you done?

-Eh?

Only time a fella does his washing

is when he's trying to get into his wife's good books or knickers.

Yeah. Yeah, see, I thought that the bag of stuff

for the charity shop was rubbish.

So now it's my fault the kids are starving in the Third World.

And whose fault is it they're starving in Britain?

How's about I wash and iron all that for you?

I can't afford a service wash.

I'll do it for the same price as it will cost you in machine.

So what's the catch?

I'm feeling generous.

Washed, dried and ironed.

That'll take the wind out of her sails.

I like a lot of starch.

There'll be so much starch in them, they'll be standing up by themselves.

See you in the morning, yeah?

Thanks a lot, Karen.

Ta-ra.

Ta-ra. Watch and learn, girls.

How much did you make?

Half a packet of fags.

Still got to do all his ironing, though.

Not me, love.

I wanted to whiten my trainers but I haven't got any stuff.

Well, if she's looking at your feet, then it's a rubbish date.

-Have you seen what Linda's done downstairs?

-Our very own VIP area.

-Oh!

-What if I can't think of stuff to talk about?

Compliment her, yeah? Girls like that.

I've had more luck with souffles than I've had with girls.

-I don't believe that.

-It's true.

Never had the confidence.

The other day, chucked together, yeah, it was fine, but...

..it's made me see I really like her.

My dad always said that the minute he saw my mum,

he knew she was the one.

-He sounds like a romantic.

-Yeah.

I'm more like him than my mum,

apart from having her nose.

-So you really like Whit?

-She's amazing.

She's the sort you dream about

when you're making custard under enemy fire.

Takes you out of yourself, puts you in a special place, you know.

That's Whitney.

Sorry.

I'm nervous.

You got all of this from just one date in a chicken shop?

When you know, you know.

Aw!

Come here. Mwah!

Right, they're having a nap and Lily's playing, OK?

-Oh, hello.

-Hiya.

She's using our iron, it's better than hers.

Oh, right.

No, don't smile, pout.

-Tiff, Listen, I need you to listen out for them, OK?

-Mm-hm.

You're not wearing that.

Sorry?

Hashtag grunge.

Well, what's the matter with it?

Nothing, if you're a lezza.

It's a drink.

No, you need something tight and short.

And maybe get a bra that actually does its job.

-Ain't that right, Bernie?

-Yeah.

No, I'm not dolling myself up.

Oh, I get it.

You're trying to put him off on purpose, aren't you?

Oh, you don't wanna get hurt again? Aw!

You know what, you should go all out.

Cover yourself up.

You should get yourself a burkha.

-Shouldn't she, Bern?

-Yeah.

No.

Pout.

There you go. Thank you very much. See you again soon, all right?

So I was thinking, I'm not doing much this afternoon,

I could make a big lasagne, save you thinking about cooking.

-You don't have to do that.

-I want to.

Tiff ain't a vegetarian, is she? You never know with teenagers.

No, I'd say that one is about as carnivorous as they come.

Look, I've been online, looking at some cheap solicitors.

So divorce?

-Gonna have to, ain't I?

-I think you're doing the right thing.

-Oh, Stace, Stace.

-15 missed calls?!

-What's happened?

-Martin!

-What you doing?

-Martin.

You two, you have got to sort this out, all right?

You need to talk to each other, not solicitors!

-You've been talking to solicitors?

-Not yet.

That's exactly why you need to talk now, before they get involved.

Martin, when you told me that Stacey was gonna be your wife...

You remember that, right?

You remember, we were standing in there,

we were in the Vic by the bar and you said...

..you said that you were gonna marry her before the year was out, right?

And Stace, remember how much you fought for Martin,

how much he was there for you after you had Arthur.

You were taking on the doctors, right?

You were fighting together because you belong together!

Yeah, and then she jumped into bed with that bald git!

-Oh, change the record!

-It's meant to be the turkey

that gets stuffed at Christmas!

It's always the way, though, innit? The wife's unfaithful

and the husband loses everything. Well, not this time, Stace!

Well, what you got planned, Martin?

What, you gonna dress up as Batman and climb on the roof of the cafe?

No, cos climbing on the roof's your thing, innit, not mine?

-Oh. All right...

-You ain't gonna get custody of a goldfish,

-let alone my kids!

-Your kids, are they? You ain't been saying that all

the years Martin's been feeding them and putting a roof over their heads!

-Hang on a minute. Who stirred your pot?

-Three kids by three dads

-and you ain't even 30 yet!

-Oh, come on.

You know you give it all the "poor me"

but your morals, they're as loose as your knickers!

-What like your mum's and your sister's?

-What?

The way I heard, it your mum had more men than the Grand Old Duke of York!

-Son.

-You leave my mum out of this!

-You jealous, are you, Son?

I tell you what, if I were you I'd give up,

cos it don't matter what sex they are, you manage to scare them off!

-Really? Scared?

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Cos people are scared of me, ain't they?

-What's that meant to mean?

-You heard me.

-Everyone pussyfoots around you, "Is she on her meds?"

-Son, no.

-Son, come on.

-What? We all think it.

She's more unstable than a three-legged chair!

Unstable? I'll give you unstable!

ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

Kush! Kush!

Give him space, all right? Just breathe. You're all right.

Kush, I'm sorry.

Sorry I'm late.

No, that's fine, fine.

I hadn't even noticed.

A rose for a rose.

Thank you.

Champagne?

I thought we were just gonna, you know, have a drink.

We are.

This is all Linda's doing.

-Linda?

-She thought I should take you somewhere a bit more romantic.

It's nice, though, what she's done.

You look amazing.

To us.

BABY CRIES

Shouldn't you check on her?

Nah, Mum says you need to leave babies to cry

or they'll think they can call the shots.

MESSAGE ALERT

Oh, come and see!

What?

Ryan Morris just liked it!

He's never liked any of my photos before!

-Who's Ryan Morris?

-Year 11.

His brother was almost on Love Island but he lost his passport.

And he's put heart eyes!

You've made me look beautiful.

What's that...

Oh!

Bernie!

Oh.

Drink?

No.

I just came to give you...

..this.

That is the most you'll ever get from me.

You what?

You had me going, I phoned my accountant after you left,

even thought about ways to raise it, but then it struck me,

what would happen once I gave you all that cash?

Listen, mate, I...

No, don't "Mate!"...

..me.

You'd have run back to Phil and Maguire, telling them

that I had all this loose cash.

It must have been from the heist!

What are you talking about?

How could you set me up like that?

You're off your nut, you, ain't you?

DOOR SLAMS

Mick?

Mick!

This is about the money, isn't it?

There is no money! One o'clock tomorrow we lose everything!

Do you fancy me?

Erm...

-..well, I'm here, ain't I?

-I knew it.

Look, I feel like we've known each other for ages.

And I know it might feel like I'm rushing things

but what I want to say is...

..Whitney, will you...

-Are you serious?

-..be my...

-I'm not marrying you!

-No, no. I'm not proposing.

I just want you to be my girlfriend.

-As if!

-Whit?

Whit?

Whit? Whit, come back!

You nearly killed him!

-How's this my fault?

-It's nobody's fault. It's just my condition.

You don't take responsibility for anything, do you?

You're the one who's unreasonable!

Surprised you ain't saying you was off your meds when you slept

-with Branning - that's what you normally say!

-Guys...

It's got nothing to do with Max! It's you taking my kids.

I've not taken the kids anywhere! This is their home!

Shut up! Both of you just shut up!

You need to stop this. Can't you see what you're doing to each other?

Just don't tell me mother or any of the others.

-I'll tell them when I'm ready.

-Yeah, course.

Just give me five minutes.

Watford's not that bad.

Oh, is he having you over again, is he, Colin?

Oh, he certainly is.

Certainly is.

You want another booze?

Oh, yes, please, that would be magic, thank you very much.