21/02/2018 EastEnders

Ah, morning, Mary Poppins.

Or is it Father Christmas?

Hey, Pearl's only three once.

-No, you have a great day, won't ya?

-No. We're going to have the best day.

HE LAUGHS

I ain't an invalid.

Mmm. You soon will be if you don't start looking after yourself.

Chill, you heard the doctor. I'm fine, the baby's fine.

Just one of them things.

I'll just have this, then I'll go.

But you've got nowhere to go. You've had two dizzy spells already.

You may not want to eat, OK, but that baby, it needs feeding.

What is this, a pub or a prison?

Zsa Zsa asked me to look after you.

That's exactly what I'm going to do.

Why didn't she call me?

What?

If Zsa Zsa wanted someone to look after her friend, why didn't she call me? I'm her mum.

Oh, this is a joke.

Look, I know I'm low in the parenting stakes,

but you, you're... You're bargain basement.

Zsa Zsa doesn't seem to think so.

Now, let me just get on with it.

DOOR SHUTS

-We've got a visitor.

-What's he want?

A quick chat about business. Listen, we've got Pearl's party to sort out.

OK, OK.

Just get rid of him, all right?

I was expecting you to call.

This is not the time or the place.

Oh, priorities, Vincent.

Money, business, all that comes and goes.

What's really important is this, isn't it?

Family. Things that are just impossible to replace.

-About the buyer that I told you about...

-Uh-huh?

He pulled out, but the bar's still on the market, and I can still get you your cash.

Oh, that's without doubt.

When?

When I sell the bar.

-Which is?

-How can anyone know that?

Ah, that's where I have an advantage over you, Vincent. I do.

By tomorrow. If not sooner. Sale agreed.

Contracts ready to be signed.

How am I supposed to pull a buyer out of thin air?

Well, you'll be amazed who will show if the price is right.

You want me to sell the bar for next to nothing, is that what you're saying?

"Next to" sounds better than nothing from where I'm standing,

because nothing is what I've got.

And when I give it away, you're still going to come knocking at my door.

Your old man, he had a spot of bother back in the day, didn't he?

Phil was telling me.

He fell in with a few wicked faces.

His old man...

Kathy's brother...

Gavin Sullivan...

HE EXHALES

Now that was a nasty piece of work by all accounts.

And Den... DEN Watts.

Phil said he was the best of the bunch,

but even he couldn't save your old man, could he?

From what I hear, he lost everything.

Money, his home...

-..his marriage.

-That's enough.

His life.

Get out.

Ancient history, Vincent.

But you know what they say about history, don't you?

It has a nasty way of repeating itself.

DOOR OPENS

-Daddy!

-Hey.

Happy Birthday.

One, two, three, four, five, six...

-Six.

-..seven.

-Is it seven?

DOOR SHUTS

So, Zsa Zsa's still in France?

-You don't know where your own daughter is?

-Well, you know Zsa.

I do, yeah.

-Always was Little Miss Independent.

-Didn't have much choice, did she?

So, what about you? How come you're on your own?

I ain't.

-No boyfriend?

-He bailed out.

Going got tough, he got going.

Ring any bells?

What you doing?

I'm, erm...

..burying treasure.

-What?

-For the party later on.

Yeah, I bought some sweets and I buried them round the house.

And Pearl and her mates can look for them.

-Oh. Love it.

-Yeah.

-Mmm.

So, um...

Your mate's gone, then?

He's no mate of mine.

Hmm.

We were just sorting out a couple of things on some deal.

What deal?

And I know that we've got to set up for Pearl's birthday party,

I just need to make a couple of phone calls first.

Vincent, what deal?

The deal that is going to sort out our problems, once and for all.

That deal.

-What's this?

-A bacon sandwich.

Well, don't look at me like that - can't I cook my ex a bit of breakfast every now and again?

No, I just thought it was every man for himself in this house.

I'm being nice to you.

So, have you done what I said?

Yeah, I e-mailed the solicitors first thing.

-Saying?

-What I said I'd say. That I want a divorce.

-And sort the custody of the kids out.

-Good.

Maybe she'll stop treating you like such a mug now.

DOORBELL RINGS

I'll get it.

So, can I have the bacon sandwich now?

-You e-mailed them?

-Yeah, yeah.

Dad.

I'll leave you to it.

I'm sorry.

I'm in a bad way.

Did you hear what I said?

Well, half the Square must have heard ya,

the racket you made on that khazi this morning.

Oh, it's not my fault.

Must have been that Ruby.

Oh, my vindaloo was fine. Keegan's tikka masala...

Keanu, can you stop going on about grub?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

You're not on one of those dodgy websites, are ya, like your brothers?

-No.

-Are ya?

You're looking at toys?

Birthday presents for Chatham and Riley.

-It's not their birthday for ages.

-Forward planning.

I am not a well woman.

-So, what are you really up to?

-Don't matter. There's no point.

I'm dead anyway.

How many replies have we had?

I told you, no-one replies, not to an Open Day. They just turn up.

They'd better. This is London.

Arabs queueing up to spend their petrodollars, Chinese and Russians racing to spend theirs

and we can't even shift a lousy bar?

OK, OK, I'll make a few calls.

Just work your charm, yeah?

-You all set for later? Pearl's party?

-Yeah, three o'clock.

What's happening, Vincent? Why are you selling The Albert?

I tried to speak to Kim about it last night,

and she just changed the subject. Erm...

She disappeared, an' all...

Hey-hey! you all right? Mwah!

Hey, listen, you better hide that before Pearl sees it.

-She wants to open everything.

-Oh, come on. If she wants to.

Patrick, I'm not having her turn into no diva.

She has to wait till her party starts before she starts tearing everything to pieces.

It's a bit late for that.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Not everything that comes through the front door is for you, you know, Pearl.

Tearing the letters.

What?

DOOR CLOSES

What happened?

What's that?

Everything I asked for. Timetable of care.

It's got everything on it.

When I'm having the kids, when she's having the kids,

and even down to what they're having for dinner and who's bathing them.

I mean, she must've been up half the night doing this.

If that solicitor gets in touch with her now, that's that.

And you can say goodbye to all the peace and quiet, and the understanding.

She's going to have the right hump.

Hello, yeah, it's Martin Fowler, can I speak to Mr Arnott, please?

Well, it makes sense, she's done what he's asked for anyway.

-Yeah, I know, but she can change her mind, can't she?

-Yeah, and she will,

if this solicitor starts breathing down her neck.

Hello, yeah, it's just about that e-mail I sent.

-You know what Stacey's like. As soon as she's in a mood, she could start a fight in a phone box.

-Mmm.

What?

-The Albert?

-Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't thought about it yourself.

I mean, you've already got other properties on the manor.

Yeah, well, flats, houses, that's more my kind of thing these days.

They're all buildings, aren't they?

I mean, commercial, domestic, they all go the same way in the end.

Through the roof.

I'm surprised you're not holding on to it,

seeing as it's such a sure-fire money-spinner.

Yeah, I got other opportunities, you know, moving on.

But you want to take advantage of this.

Right, you know, we've got an Open Day today, so pop round.

But, you know, don't hang around.

Cos this won't.

Er, what did they say?

So that's right, is it?

Vincent has missed the latest mortgage payment.

It's all I could keep down when I was carrying Zsa Zsa.

There's a tin of celery if you don't like tomato.

-You want me to put in a good word for you with her?

-I think it's a bit late for that.

-Is your mum not around?

-She's around.

-Well, that's good.

Said three words to me since my boyfriend did a runner.

-"Told you so."

-Well, we all say things we don't mean.

You've never met her - how do you know?

OK, we all say things we think we mean, and then we spend the rest of the time regretting we said 'em.

-So, has she called?

-Couple of times.

-And?

-I dunno. Didn't answer.

-God, that tea's going right through me.

-All right, all right.

I was a disaster, right from the start as far as Zsa Zsa was concerned, OK?

I let her down, yeah? And I let myself down.

And if she was here right now, all I could do is say sorry.

But your mum calling, maybe she's trying to do the same thing with you, yeah?

-Maybe she really wants to help you out.

-I don't need no help from no-one.

Oh, so that's why Zsa Zsa called Shirl, then?

Maybe you should at least hear what she's got to say.

What she says.

That's the whole point, isn't it?

What she says, they're just words.

It's what you do. That's what counts.

-All right.

-All right.

Ooh.

What's all this?

Oh, I'm just returning the favour.

You came round with a peace offering. I'm just doing the same.

We don't need a peace offering, do we?

Yeah, well...

Anyway, look, I just thought while I was here -

I couldn't just check my e-mails, could I?

It's just that Dot's internet's gone down, so...

What's the matter with your phone?

And then the juice has gone on that, so...

Oh. Oh, yeah, the laptop's in there.

-Lovely.

-I'll take that to the kitchen.

-Sure.

-Thanks.

That's all right.

All right.

Is it anything important?

What?

Your e-mails?

No, no.

Couldn't wait, then?

It's just, erm... Lego, er, said he'd e-mail me

and, er, tell me about the football, where it was and...and all that.

What you doing?

-Chess sets?

-There must be someone on the market who sells 'em.

Only thing is it's gotta look like this.

Why?

Cos I like it.

Don't know much about chess.

Ted! You're a chess buff, aren't ya?

No, no, no, I'm the real expert.

Well, we'll see about that. After the rematch.

PATRICK CHUCKLES DUBIOUSLY

So what do you want to know? The Two Knights Defence?

Or the King Pawn's Opening?

Think I had one of them in a balti house last night.

Come on, fire away.

Oh, no, it's not for me. It's for...

You all right?

I was just in a state and I started drinking and then I just wound myself up

and the next thing I know, I'd fired that off.

Yeah, you didn't pull no punches, neither, did ya?

Adultery, unreasonable behaviour.

So is this you, or your brief?

No, no, that's pretty much what I told him to say.

It was wrong, OK?

I was wrong, and I don't want to do things like this.

I want to talk properly.

You know, sort things out, like...

Like this.

Please, Stace, can we just forget about that?

Please?

Like you said. Let's just do it properly.

Yeah.

That's last year's turnover.

Erm, you take a look around.

Try the place on for size.

Yeah, will do.

-I told you I was trying my best.

-You need to.

Well, let me get on with it, then.

"Tempus aestusque nemini moratur."

"Time and tide," Vincent, "waits for no man."

Why'd you take it home in the first place?

Just wanted to put in a bit of practice.

The last game we had, it was a whole ten minutes before Mr Murray mated me.

-Before he what?

-I just wanted to get better.

And now Bronson's ate the white queen and Mr Murray

and Mr Trueman have got a game later on.

He's going to go mad when he sees it's missing.

Yeah, well, what goes in has to come out, some time.

-Hello.

-You all right?

Did you find that e-mail?

-So, what now?

-Now, nothing.

Oh, hey, I'll get that. And a cup of tea, as well, please.

-Just told Stacey the truth.

-What?

-Radical, innit?

"Husband tells Wife the Truth."

So what happened?

Nothing. I explained. She, er... She listened.

I apologised. She accepted.

No harm done.

What do you reckon?

Yeah, that's what I thought.

All right, I'm going to get onto a solicitor right now.

Oh, yeah, erm...

Could you keep Pearl out of here for about ten minutes?

I'm just going to continue with the treasure hunt.

Erm...

Pearl opened it.

Anything that comes through the front door, she thinks it's for her birthday...

Why am I even apologising? Shouldn't I have the right to know what's going on? Hmm?

This is, erm... It's a misunderstanding.

Really? Because the man from the mortgage company that I spoke to, he didn't seem to think so.

What happened to the money from my ring?

I've paid it, all right?

It's just going through the system, that's all.

So I've got nothing to worry about?

The only thing that we've got to worry about is making sure

that Pearl has the best birthday party ever.

-Hmm.

-Hmm.

PHONE RINGS

Savannah, I said I'll be back in a few minutes, all right?

We might have just got a bite.

-What?

-I still want my commission, even if you did bring him along.

Jack?

He's calling his solicitor now.

Says can he have a look at a copy of the register of title?

Yeah, yeah, tell him I'll bring it right over.

-Who are you?

-It's Tilly, yeah? Georgi's mum?

Well, ain't she coming? I got a text.

Yeah, Georgi's staying with us.

-She's a friend of my daughter, Zsa Zsa.

-What is all this?

She's all right, no worries on that count.

She's being well looked after. Now, anyway.

Are you having a pop?

No. I ain't got a right to have a pop at no-one, believe me.

-She misses you, though.

-Said that, did she?

No. Don't sound like the Georgi I know.

-So what's she want, then, anyway? More money?

-Oh, no, no, no. She don't know I'm here.

-So why are you?

-Because, well, we've been talking,

-well, she's been talking about you.

-Been slagging me off, has she?

-Yeah.

-Typical.

But she don't mean it, she's just lashing out - I know that, I've got one of my own.

Zsa Zsa, yeah?

Stupid name.

Look, it's not what Georgi says that counts though, is it?

I mean, she said that herself.

What's that supposed to mean?

OK, all right, yes, she's been slagging you off and, yeah,

she says it's too late for the two of you,

but I know she don't want that, it's obvious

and I don't think you want that either, otherwise you wouldn't be here, would ya?

Me and Georgi, we've got a lot of unfinished business.

Yeah, well, that's something I know a lot about, an' all.

This is where she's staying, yeah?

She'll be there for the next few days at least.

I just need five more minutes...

You said you needed to make a couple of phone calls.

Look, this party's not going to set itself up, you know.

-I might've secured a sale.

-What?

Yeah, I just need to drop off a couple of forms.

And then we are going to play Stone Lions, then we're going to play tag

and then we are going to go on a treasure hunt. Ahh!

THEY LAUGH

What's the matter with your face?

You look like the cat who got the cream.

How's Georgi?

You ain't been buying her nothing, have you? Cos she won't want it.

No, I ain't bought her nothing.

And I ain't talking about what she wants, neither.

I'm talking about what she needs.

-Come through.

-Yeah, Savannah said you wanted to take a look at these.

Yes, I'll get them scanned and sent over to my solicitor.

Yeah, and she did explain that we need it done quickly?

Yeah, yeah, he already knows. It's not a problem.

He's drawing up a draft contract as we speak.

Jack, you know, you won't regret this.

I mean, the Albert, that's one brilliant little business there.

He reckons we should have it all wrapped up in about three weeks.

Three weeks?

No, I need it done quicker than that.

So, how quick you thinking?

Well, my people are ready to go.

So we was hoping to get your offer today, sort contracts by tomorrow.

-Tomorrow?

-Why not?

Mate, I don't carry that sort of cash around in my back pocket, you know.

It'll take me more than a day to raise that, I mean,

then you've got the surveyors, you got the searches.

I'm doing you a favour, you know.

I'm offering you a sweet deal.

And what you trying to do, screw me over the price or something?

No, I'm happy with the price,

I just can't raise that sort of money that quick - no-one can.

You know what? You're right.

Let's negotiate, as it's you, as we're mates.

25k off?

Vincent, I promise ya, all right? I'm not trying to screw you over.

All right, I just can't move that quick.

Have you got some sort of problem?

Your problem, mate. Your loss.

Savannah? Savannah, contact all the punters who've shown interest.

Look, even the ones that haven't, all right?

Tell them if they find some cash on the side,

I'll come up with a special price, all right?

It's one day, and one day only.

Look, at least try.

Works for the supermarkets, I suppose.

Special price, one day only -

why not throw in the house?

Could do a buy one, get one free.

Here you are.

Oh! What's this?

Nice little rum hot toddy. Give you sustenance for the battle ahead.

Well, not that it's going to be a battle, exactly.

Massacre, more like.

I'm going to polish the pieces specially...

He's right, isn't he?

Who is?

History is repeating itself.

What is? What are you talking about?

What if I can't sell the Albert?

It's only been on the market for a few days.

Yeah, but I need the money now.

Look, this debt of yours - Kim said it's to the taxman, right?

And if you pay it, that's it? Clean slate? You start again?

Well, that's not so bad.

You've got years ahead of you to get back on your feet.

And look at all them fashion magazines,

it's all the rage these days, the minimalist look. I'm sure Kim could live with that.

The taxman wants money, Vincent.

He doesn't want you having some sort of breakdown, he'll wait.

And what if he doesn't?

What is the point of sending you under? He'll get nothing then.

You know, I always said I wouldn't do it.

Do as Dad did.

I'd stay away from trouble, no matter what.

You're in trouble with the tax man,

not the lowlifes he got mixed up with.

Ah, that wasn't always his fault, you know.

He brought nothing but trouble to your door, Vincent.

You were better off without him.

But this isn't like that.

You are not like that.

So just get a grip.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

-Right.

-OK.

I've just seen your mum.

She knows where I am?

No, not here. We met in the caff.

I called her - well, I texted her and asked to meet.

You said it yourself, didn't ya?

It's not what you say that counts. It's what you do.

And you need help. And she wants to help you -

she really does, Georgi - you can see it in her eyes.

She says she wants to sort things out with you two properly.

She said you've got unfinished business.

At least give her chance to try, yeah?

-What's happened?

-Zsa Zsa said I could trust you.

-Well, you can.

-She's told Mum where I am.

-What?

-She'll be round here any minute.

-Well, look, she'll have to get through me first.

-What's going on?

-She nicked a bit of money off her mum.

That's why she's been phoning all the time.

I'm going!

You calm down, calm down.

What have you done?

-KIM:

-What colour cake? You want pink?

Pink cake?

-PEARL:

-No. Blue and pink.

Blue and pink. OK, we'll need some flowers.

-Oh, we need to get some party bags, don't we?

-Yeah.

We'll get some party bags, and...

We can get some stickers.

Yes, we can have that. Biscuits?

-No? I don't know if I've got any biscuits.

-Crisps.

-Yes, of course, crisps.

-Lollipops. Lollies.

-Lollipops. Lollies.

-And cookies.

Cookies? But you're going to have biscuits.

You want biscuits and cookies?