The Lair of the Libertines Father Brown


The Lair of the Libertines

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CHOIR: # All creatures of our God and King

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# Lift up your voice and with us sing

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# Hallelujah ... #

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ENGINE BACKFIRES

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ENGINE CUTS OUT

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# Thou silver moon with softer gleam

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# O praise Him

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# O praise Him

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# Hallelujah

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# Hallelujah

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# Hallelujah

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# Thou rushing wind that art so strong

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# Ye clouds that sail in heaven along

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# Hallelujah

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# Hallelujah

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# Thou fire so masterful and bright

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# Providing us with warmth and light

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# O praise Him. #

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GUN BLAST

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GUN BLAST

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To get all the way to the final and then to lose to that bunch of...

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Would you please slow down?

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This vehicle is in need of a jolly good clean.

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I should never have given Sid any time off.

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For the last time, will you slow down?

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Urgh, vile.

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If he thinks he's getting a tip...

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I've got a good mind to get out and walk!

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Beastly little man.

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Good riddance, I say.

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Where exactly are we?

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Miles from anywhere.

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Salam.

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-A naked man.

-Really?

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Over there.

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He walked straight out in front of me.

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Well, he's not there now.

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How much wine have you actually had?

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Evesham is just over that hill.

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Oh, Lord Delcott lives there. He'll arrange a lift.

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Right.

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Come along.

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And where is Evesham?

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Ah.

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These heels are murder.

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Oh. Ugh.

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Is that blood?

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Probably animal.

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There's a lot of traps about.

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Diabolical contraptions.

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LADIES GASP

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Let's head for that building over there.

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If I had known you were invited, I'd never have come.

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Deviant.

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You're no different to me.

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In fact, you're worse.

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Nothing but a whining hypocrite.

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Not fighting over me, I hope?

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Forgive my behaviour, madame.

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Why, Dr Barashi,

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your pipe has gone out.

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If you need a refill, there's more in the lounge.

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So...

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have my two little tarts arrived yet?

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No.

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But forget about them.

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Tomorrow evening, you will have all the pleasure you desire.

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Tomorrow!

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I should have stayed in London another night.

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GUN BLASTS

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You madman!

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It was an accident.

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No.

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It's because I beat him at poker.

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Syrus, watch where you're pointing that.

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She means the pistol.

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Madame Chania, I will not be an object of fun!

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Please, calm down.

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You have mocked me for the last time.

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-It's always the same.

-Syrus...

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Insults whenever we meet.

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London, Paris, Rome.

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Still not working.

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And my guests arrived by taxi, so there's no-one here to drive you.

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Are there no vehicles?

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No.

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Well, it's getting very late. We'll have to stay the night.

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In Sodom and Gomorrah?

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Sorry, we're fully booked.

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Surely you can find them somewhere.

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Thank heavens he's dressed.

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-Perhaps the maid could give up her room for the lady?

-Er...

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I can sleep in the attic, madame.

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Very well. And the good Father can stay in the cottage...

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with your servant.

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-Servant?

-What a splendid idea. Problem solved.

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Fork!

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Apologies.

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Feed me.

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Scusi?

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Feed me.

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Please, help yourself to food and drink.

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Mimi, could you pour the wine?

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So, have you owned this place long?

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I am only leasing it.

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A little venture of mine while staying in your beautiful country.

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So...

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the priest is staying the night?

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Yes. May be fun watching his halo slip, no?

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You are very honoured.

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Madame Chania's guests are invitation only.

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How do you all know each other?

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Actually, I only know my guests by reputation.

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International playboys, very notorious.

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Really?

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When I heard they were in London for a poker tournament,

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I just had to invite them for the weekend.

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An offer we could not resist.

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Really?

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Tomorrow night,

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we have a touring entourage of genuine Japanese geishas,

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all willing to fulfil any whim

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or any desire of my guests.

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Oh.

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We'll be gone by then.

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Do you partake in the, er...

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..entertainment?

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-I am not attracted to women, if that's what you mean.

-Oh, no...

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My passion is providing pleasure for others.

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-You do not approve, Father?

-Well...

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We all have passionate desires we should embrace,

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whether it be fine food, alcohol...

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Sex.

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Naturism.

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Or even religion.

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We cannot, should not, deny what makes us happy.

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Mmm...

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but there's the paradox.

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Paradox?

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Well, happiness is an unexpected gift.

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It is evasive.

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If we pursue it, we will never achieve it.

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Utter nonsense.

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No, the Father has a point.

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I've spent years overindulging, and for what?

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I'm not even sure what it is to be happy.

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Oh, Count, not thinking of retiring and settling down, are we?

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Who knows?

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Isn't that for the guests?

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Still no sign of the girls I ordered.

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Sorry, no.

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Well...

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I can't wait.

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Name your price.

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Please do not ask me that.

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Oh, sorry.

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I didn't mean to offend you.

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I'm frightfully sorry, but my head is simply splitting.

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The first left at the top of the stairs.

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Thank you. Good night.

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Good night.

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You've had more helpings than me, Father.

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Lovely. Really lovely.

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"A weekend of unbridled excess."

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More like a child's party.

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Patience, Doctor. Patience.

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Most here are dreadful bores.

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If it were not for you, I would have retired to my room.

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Oh.

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Mrs McCarthy, may I speak freely?

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If you must.

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The moment I saw you, I knew there was something very...

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simple about you.

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Simple?

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Forgive my English.

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Wholesome. Homely.

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In my circles, that is a breath of fresh air.

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Oh...

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Father Brown.

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Looks like your whisky infused cake does not agree with the Father.

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It's more likely to be the infusion of opium.

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You didn't?

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I did.

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KNOCKING

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Come in.

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Lady Felicia, please, may I get my things?

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Of course.

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Shiatsu is very good for headaches.

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Is that Russian?

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Allow me to demonstrate.

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Very kind.

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Please. Close your eyes.

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-Mm.

-That's it.

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Just relax.

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Wonderful.

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We all have pressure points throughout our bodies.

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Some dull the senses.

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And others arouse them.

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I really must go to bed.

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I'm afraid the cottage only has one bedroom.

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I'll sleep here.

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Are you all right?

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Mm.

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Are you in pain?

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Pain, pleasure...

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As a hedonist, I choose the latter.

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Can't have one without the other.

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Who says I can't, you big meanie?

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It's getting very late.

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We all have passionate desires we should embrace,

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like food, embrace, alcohol, or even religion.

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It was near her body.

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Pixie's Palace. Tibb Street, Evesham.

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The two tarts I hired.

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The doctor could not wait for tonight's geishas,

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so yesterday booked two girls from a local bordello.

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They never arrived. Or so we thought.

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So where's the other girl?

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The blood on the hill.

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Madame Chania, I cannot call the police.

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The line is still dead.

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Yes, it's been cut.

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May I get you a drink, Mrs McCarthy?

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No. You may not.

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The sooner I am away from this hotel, the better.

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Perhaps when we have left here, you would allow me to call on you?

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And take you for English tea?

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I'm afraid not.

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It was foolish of me to accept Madame Chania's invitation.

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Meeting you has made me realise that.

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You barely know me.

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It's strange, but it does not feel like that to me.

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It was hidden in the bushes near the cottage.

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Must be the girl's.

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-Is it working?

-It won't start.

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So we're still stuck here.

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I'm sure it's fixable.

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I've covered the body.

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Thank you.

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That's very decent of you.

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You know, Father, there is only one man in this hotel

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who hates women enough to kill them.

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I shall be taking all my meals in my room from now on.

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It's the safest place.

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Very good, sir.

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You know, after death, it's an instinct to procreate.

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It's a biological urge.

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Dr Barashi.

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Do not touch her again.

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Why would you care?

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I heard you last night in your room, slapping her.

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How I discipline her is no concern of yours.

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She is my servant.

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Are you all right?

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I am a servant.

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As are you, Father.

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Fulfilling Madame Chania's wishes is what pleases me.

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I do it willingly and gladly.

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But you are so much more than just a servant.

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Forgive me, Father, but I have things to do.

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Come with me on one of my naturist walks.

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Oh, Syrus.

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It will make you feel alive.

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You know, you remind me of a puppy I once had.

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A puppy?

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Always licking.

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Lick, lick, lick.

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Have you fixed it?

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Yes, it was just an oil leak.

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Well, you should go immediately to the police.

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Ladies, I think you should go with him.

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-On that thing?

-It's not safe to stay.

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But what about you, Father?

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I'll be fine until the police arrive.

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I thought I might go back up the hill, where we found the blood.

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GUNSHOTS

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Pity that's not all he has his sights on.

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You mean Mimi. Poor girl.

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Strange how people think they can treat her as they please.

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Forget what the doctor said, Father.

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The occasional slap keeps her in line.

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You said your passion was giving pleasure.

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Why then would you want to hurt someone?

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Getting some practice in, Father.

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The killer could strike again.

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Indeed.

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Care to join me?

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No, thank you.

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Drive carefully.

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I am not going on the back.

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Well, I can't get my legs that wide.

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Oh, you really are impossible.

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Can you tell me your name?

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Where are you from?

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Cuba.

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Oh, damn.

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Sorry, ladies.

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I'll check the garage for petrol.

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Won't be a moment.

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I am perfectly capable, thank you.

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Lady Felicia!

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Lady Felicia!

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Fire! Fire!

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Oh, hello!

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Fire! Fire! Fire!

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-Fire.

-What?

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Fire!

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We could have been killed.

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Yes.

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Thank you for saving my life!

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Are you all right?

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I think so.

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What happened?

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A leak in the petrol tank.

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Didn't you notice when you repaired it?

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Someone must have punctured it when I left it outside the hotel.

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It looks like the killer doesn't want us to leave,

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until they're finished with us.

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Barashi is behind this!

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He hasn't even come out to see what caused the explosion.

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-That's just how he is.

-No.

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I'm so pleased you're all right.

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Hey, Barashi.

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Take cover.

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Lord and his Holy Saints!

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-Father!

-The killer's out there.

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Get down.

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He was killed by his own gun.

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But the pistol was pointing away from him.

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He wasn't killed by a bullet.

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The firing pin went backwards into his forehead.

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So it was tampered with.

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Modified.

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Yes. The safety catch has been removed.

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But how did the killer know Dr Barashi would choose that pistol?

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They didn't. The killer doesn't care who dies.

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So any one of us could be next.

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I think until the killer is caught, we should stay together.

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Yes.

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I wonder who's doing it?

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I don't know, but I'm sure it's not the Count.

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He seems very gentle.

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He's very taken with you.

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Nonsense.

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He's also very rich with a title. You could do worse.

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Madame Chania, come away. The killer could be out there.

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So you don't think it's one of us?

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Who knows? But better to be safe.

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Mimi told me to come up.

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All this killing has unnerved me.

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I'm scared to be alone.

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The Count, madame.

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You wanted to see me?

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I do not understand.

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I need to feel safe.

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And I've always found, well, two men are better than one.

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Please!

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Syrus does not share his women with anyone!

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"The Unholy Virgin".

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And "Vixens on Horseback".

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And "Hellcats of the Night".

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Father.

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Syrus.

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So what do you think we should do, Father?

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Perhaps I should hike up to the road, hitch a lift.

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Are you mad?

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Out in the open, the killer could pick you off like that.

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Yes.

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Sounds like someone's enjoying themselves.

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Indeed.

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I think I'll get some fresh air.

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Oh, thank goodness, you're here.

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Are you the proprietor?

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Yes, but how did you know to come?

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There's a young woman with a gunshot wound.

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We thought she was from Cuba,

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but then I remembered this place.

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Actually, sir, it was my idea. Local knowledge.

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Don't interrupt, Sergeant.

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As I was saying...

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Morning, Inspector.

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No, it can't be.

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Hmm, it is.

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The girl was local.

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And there's another one by the cottage.

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-Sorry?

-But she's dead.

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There's a body?

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Actually, there's two.

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WHIMPERING

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What's that noise?

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It sounds like whimpering.

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SHE SCREAMS

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Oh, Inspector, thank heavens!

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What's happened?

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The maid. She's killed the Count.

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I just found him on the floor.

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Don't touch the weapon.

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Mimi.

0:26:500:26:51

Your hands.

0:26:510:26:53

I shook him to see if he was alive.

0:26:530:26:55

Arrest her.

0:26:550:26:56

But she is not capable!

0:26:560:26:58

Father, please, they're making a mistake.

0:26:580:27:01

Straight down. It will help.

0:27:040:27:07

Oh, the poor Count.

0:27:110:27:13

Mrs McCarthy.

0:27:130:27:14

Father, you must help her. Mimi would not hurt a soul.

0:27:140:27:18

Right. I need to take statements from everyone.

0:27:200:27:23

Let's start with you, Father.

0:27:230:27:26

Silly me.

0:27:270:27:29

Where are you off to?

0:27:300:27:32

Is this your room, Father?

0:27:390:27:41

Madame Chania's.

0:27:410:27:43

The chandelier directly below shook several times before you arrived.

0:27:450:27:49

Have you gone barking mad?

0:27:540:27:56

Drag marks.

0:27:560:27:59

To the door that connects with Mimi's room.

0:27:590:28:02

So you think the Count was murdered here,

0:28:030:28:06

then his body was dragged through there?

0:28:060:28:08

Precisely.

0:28:080:28:10

Blood?

0:28:180:28:19

Father?

0:28:240:28:25

Madame Chania, may I have the key to this door?

0:28:260:28:29

Of course.

0:28:290:28:31

Must be in here somewhere.

0:28:350:28:38

What's that?

0:28:400:28:41

Safety catch.

0:28:460:28:48

Like the one missing from the pistol which killed the doctor.

0:28:490:28:52

I've no idea how it got in there.

0:28:520:28:55

I don't suppose you know anything about this, do you?

0:28:550:28:57

My lighter.

0:28:570:28:58

I was wondering whose it was.

0:28:580:29:00

I found it on the driveway after the explosion.

0:29:000:29:05

It doesn't make any sense.

0:29:050:29:06

Madame Chania, I'm arresting you on suspicion of murder.

0:29:060:29:10

No!

0:29:100:29:12

You're not obliged to say... Madame Chania!

0:29:120:29:15

Stop her, Sergeant!

0:29:190:29:21

-What are you doing?

-Leave her alone.

0:29:210:29:23

-Mimi!

-Let her go!

0:29:230:29:25

Put her in the car.

0:29:250:29:27

I'm releasing you without charge. Don't leave the premises.

0:29:280:29:32

I'll get you out. I promise. I'll get you out.

0:29:340:29:38

Come on.

0:29:380:29:40

Come on.

0:29:420:29:44

Sit down.

0:29:500:29:51

I don't understand.

0:29:560:29:58

I owe her everything.

0:29:580:30:01

She used you.

0:30:030:30:04

No!

0:30:040:30:05

She gave me a life, took me off the streets when I had nothing.

0:30:050:30:10

-Mimi...

-And like you, I'd give up my life for the one I serve.

0:30:120:30:17

Father, I've arranged a car to take you back.

0:30:190:30:22

Thank you.

0:30:220:30:24

But in the meantime, I still need that statement.

0:30:240:30:26

Now.

0:30:260:30:27

I know, it's very upsetting.

0:30:410:30:45

But Father Brown is right. Madame Chania treated you appallingly.

0:30:470:30:52

But what am I going to do without her?

0:30:520:30:54

You don't need her. You'll cope.

0:30:540:30:56

No.

0:30:560:30:58

Trust me, you will.

0:30:580:30:59

But you mustn't blame yourself.

0:30:590:31:02

You're worth more than that.

0:31:020:31:04

You really think so?

0:31:070:31:09

Yes, I do.

0:31:090:31:11

Forgive me, I...

0:31:220:31:24

She's just upset,

0:31:270:31:29

and like all of us, has been bewitched by Madame Chania.

0:31:290:31:32

Those roses have been pruned within an inch of their life.

0:31:550:31:59

What would you know about pruning roses?

0:31:590:32:01

I know your mind's on the Count.

0:32:010:32:03

He was just a stranger.

0:32:040:32:06

Strangers can sometimes have the deepest effect on us.

0:32:060:32:09

The thrill of the unknown. The danger.

0:32:090:32:13

Nonsense.

0:32:130:32:15

Well, it seems to me you can look at this in one of two ways.

0:32:150:32:18

You can either dwell on what might have been,

0:32:180:32:21

or you can cherish the memory.

0:32:210:32:23

For a brief moment, somebody made you feel special.

0:32:230:32:28

Alive.

0:32:280:32:30

I know that look.

0:32:340:32:36

I have been racking my brains to find a motive for the murders.

0:32:380:32:41

Has Madame Chania confessed?

0:32:410:32:43

Insists she's innocent, but won't say any more.

0:32:430:32:47

Well, I'm just glad to be away from that hotel.

0:32:470:32:50

Even before the murders, there was so much ungodly behaviour.

0:32:500:32:54

Indeed. That maid was...

0:32:540:32:57

far too tactile.

0:32:570:33:00

Oh!

0:33:010:33:03

Madame Chania is the killer.

0:33:030:33:06

But we already know that.

0:33:060:33:08

Where are you off to?

0:33:080:33:10

To hitch a ride!

0:33:100:33:12

Father Brown.

0:33:460:33:47

Ah. There you are.

0:33:470:33:51

Going somewhere?

0:33:530:33:54

I cannot bear to stay.

0:33:540:33:55

But what brings you back, Father?

0:33:570:34:00

Books.

0:34:000:34:02

Books?

0:34:050:34:06

Madame Chania said she wasn't attracted to women,

0:34:060:34:09

yet most of her novels appear to be lesbian erotica.

0:34:090:34:12

Rather odd.

0:34:120:34:14

Unless you are the real Madame Chania.

0:34:140:34:19

What?

0:34:190:34:21

You changed roles with your maid before the guests arrived.

0:34:210:34:25

You're not serious?

0:34:250:34:27

Thus relinquishing your hostess duties,

0:34:270:34:30

you were free to roam the hotel

0:34:300:34:33

at will, killing when the opportunity arose.

0:34:330:34:35

That's absurd.

0:34:370:34:38

No doubt you told your maid that the swap was some...

0:34:380:34:42

hedonistic game.

0:34:420:34:45

Father, you said yourself, I was set up.

0:34:450:34:48

In retrospect, it seemed too obvious.

0:34:480:34:53

You were set up,

0:34:530:34:55

by yourself.

0:34:550:34:56

But you knew that someone was bound to spot the glaring clues

0:34:590:35:02

you had laid.

0:35:020:35:05

And that they'd assume you were framed by "Madame Chania."

0:35:070:35:12

Making you above suspicion.

0:35:130:35:15

You used her lighter to start the fire

0:35:170:35:20

and then planted the safety catch in her bag.

0:35:200:35:23

So I killed everyone?

0:35:230:35:26

The Count, Dr Barashi,

0:35:260:35:28

even the girl he hired?

0:35:280:35:31

If the police hadn't arrived, you'd have killed us all.

0:35:310:35:34

Myself and my companions were, like the girls, unwanted visitors,

0:35:350:35:40

who had to be dealt with.

0:35:400:35:42

But one of them got away.

0:35:420:35:45

If all this were true, Father,

0:35:510:35:53

don't you think the "real maid" would have told the police

0:35:530:35:57

her true identity?

0:35:570:35:59

Not if you told her not to.

0:36:040:36:05

Dr Barashi said he heard Madame Chania slapping you.

0:36:080:36:13

But it was the other way round. Wasn't it?

0:36:150:36:18

And when you said you'd give your life for the one you serve,

0:36:200:36:23

you were actually referring to the way your maid

0:36:230:36:26

felt about you.

0:36:260:36:28

If only she knew the truth.

0:36:300:36:33

The truth.

0:36:340:36:35

The truth...

0:36:390:36:41

is that I am not Madame Chania.

0:36:410:36:45

Yes. I believe you.

0:36:460:36:49

I expect Madame Chania was a made-up name.

0:36:540:36:57

Used to rent this hotel.

0:36:570:37:00

So that after your killing spree,

0:37:000:37:02

you could return to your travels and your real name.

0:37:020:37:07

So, if I am not Madame Chania, who am I?

0:37:070:37:13

Reading matter for the journey?

0:37:130:37:15

German erotica,

0:37:150:37:17

Lulu and Lucia,

0:37:170:37:20

Business as Usual...

0:37:200:37:22

African Safari.

0:37:240:37:26

Big game hunter?

0:37:280:37:30

Ah, but that's a man's sport, Father.

0:37:300:37:32

I remember reading some time ago in the National Geographic magazine

0:37:350:37:40

about a white woman killing things in Africa.

0:37:400:37:44

What was her name?

0:37:440:37:47

Madame Chania...

0:37:470:37:49

..is an anagram,

0:37:510:37:54

of Ana Demiachia,

0:37:540:37:57

the Italian huntress who has shot

0:37:570:38:00

almost every living creature on Earth.

0:38:000:38:03

Finally! I just couldn't resist a little clue.

0:38:120:38:16

So, all your victims are trophies?

0:38:160:38:21

Syrus.

0:38:340:38:36

I'm going to give you a sporting chance, Father,

0:39:070:39:10

although you may be a little sluggish

0:39:100:39:14

after the opium cake.

0:39:140:39:16

Does killing give you pleasure?

0:39:180:39:22

Ever since I was a child.

0:39:220:39:24

So this was all planned?

0:39:240:39:26

Meticulously. To lure strangers to an isolated place.

0:39:260:39:31

Multiple deaths, all by my hand. Such power!

0:39:310:39:36

But why pick those three men?

0:39:360:39:39

I had to choose someone. Their lack of ambition repulsed me.

0:39:390:39:44

Ambition?

0:39:440:39:45

They were obsessed by cheap, meaningless thrills,

0:39:450:39:48

lechery, gluttony.

0:39:480:39:50

A true hedonist puts pleasure before everything.

0:39:500:39:55

Before another's pain.

0:39:550:39:58

Another's life.

0:39:580:40:00

People are just animals.

0:40:000:40:03

And you're a different kind of animal?

0:40:030:40:05

Technically. I'm a hedonistic existentialist.

0:40:050:40:09

A what?

0:40:090:40:11

I cope with the nightmare of living with the joy of killing.

0:40:110:40:16

When I load the last bullet, the hunt begins,

0:40:180:40:23

so you'd better run, Father.

0:40:230:40:26

But watch out for my traps.

0:40:280:40:31

Last one, Father, then I shoot you.

0:40:330:40:38

Yes. I believe you will.

0:40:400:40:44

Father Brown!

0:40:450:40:48

Father Brown!

0:40:480:40:50

I'm going to find you!

0:40:500:40:52

Father!

0:40:580:41:00

Father Brown!

0:41:030:41:04

Father Brown!

0:41:040:41:06

'You may be a little sluggish after the opium cake.'

0:41:100:41:14

Father!

0:41:140:41:16

'Ana Demiachia.'

0:41:160:41:17

Where are you hiding, Father?

0:41:170:41:19

'Every living creature...'

0:41:190:41:20

'Trophies.'

0:41:200:41:22

I will find you, Father!

0:41:220:41:24

'She's dead.'

0:41:240:41:26

'People are just animals.'

0:41:260:41:27

'Multiple deaths, all by my hand.'

0:41:270:41:30

-'She's dead.'

-'Such power!'

0:41:300:41:32

'But watch out for my traps.'

0:41:320:41:34

SHE SCREAMS

0:41:340:41:36

Help me!

0:41:360:41:38

Father Brown!

0:41:380:41:40

Help me, Father Brown!

0:41:400:41:43

God said, "Let the Earth bring forth

0:42:080:42:13

"the living creature in its kind,

0:42:130:42:17

"the cattle, the creeping things,

0:42:170:42:20

"and the beasts of the Earth,

0:42:200:42:23

"each according to its kind."

0:42:230:42:27

And it was so done.

0:42:270:42:29

# All creatures of our God and King

0:42:340:42:39

# Lift up your voice and with us sing

0:42:390:42:45

# Hallelujah

0:42:450:42:48

# Hallelujah

0:42:480:42:52

# Thou burning sun with golden beam

0:42:530:42:59

# And silver moon with softer gleam

0:42:590:43:04

# O praise Him

0:43:060:43:09

# O praise Him

0:43:090:43:12

# Hallelujah

0:43:120:43:15

# Hallelujah

0:43:150:43:19

# Hallelujah! #

0:43:190:43:23

GLASS SMASHING

0:43:350:43:36

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