Episode 3 Happy Valley

This programme contains scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.

-We have a weirdo who's killed three girls.

-You shouldn't have done it!

That body you found yesterday. It's Tommy Lee Royce's mother.

You're not exactly a barrel of laughs yourself, you know, kid.

-I'm going to a funeral this afternoon.

-So is my granny!

You killed my mother, you filthy bitch!

You're going to get what's coming to you!

-Was it sudden?

-Cancer.

They're accusing me of strangling and bottling Lynn Dewhurst.

I'm sorry.

I am sorry.

I'll be fine. Tomorrow, I'll start again.

-No, tomorrow, you'll need another drink. If you...

-Will you shift?

I saw on the sheet that I asked you to fill in...

Oh, the happy sheet?

Yes, the happy sheet.

I saw that on the question -

have you ever contemplated killing yourself or others? -

you've written "yes".

-Do you want to talk about that?

-No.

Have you ever contemplated killing yourself?

-Have you ever TRIED to kill yourself?

-No.

Have you ever thought about how you might do it if you did?

I've seen all of 'em and none of 'em are pretty.

-They're all...

-All what?

-Sordid. Ridiculous.

And, anyway, I don't want to be on a slab.

I've seen what they do to people.

Did you have counselling after your daughter took her own life?

No, I had a breakdown.

-What happened?

-Nothing. I just...

screamed at people a lot and smashed a few things in the sink

and drank too much and...

..pissed everyone off within a ten-mile radius

for about a year, 18 months, and then...

you know?

You've still got to pay the mortgage at the end of it all, haven't you?

-And your marriage broke down.

-Well, yeah.

Most marriages don't survive something like that, do they?

Losing a child.

An experience like that changes people. Permanently.

I'd have said so.

How did it change you?

I'm sad.

I never used to be sad. I mean, I could be sad. But...

it wasn't like it was a permanent state of...

It didn't define who I am.

You don't appear sad. I'm sorry, I don't mean to contradict

the fact that you are sad. Only you know how you feel.

But your colleagues, your friends at work,

I get the idea that they see you as the life and soul of the party.

Good.

-Do you cover things up?

-No.

No, they all know about Becky, they all know what happened.

No, I mean do you...

Are you conscious of feeling sad

but still trying to put on a brave face, your happy face, at work?

No, I love work.

Do you think you're angry?

As well as sad?

Sometimes.

You have an edge.

-People are a bit scared of you, aren't they?

-Who said that?

It's an observation.

How do you feel about that, people being scared of you?

Well, it's useful occasionally, if I'm dealing with something at work.

I often have to deal with people who are a lot bigger than me.

-Are you scared of me?

-Should I be?

-No. No.

Nobody needs to be scared of me

unless they've done something they shouldn't have.

The second part of that question - "others".

Have you ever contemplated killing others?

Does the "yes" apply there?

Oh, yeah.

Tell me about that.

When was the last time that you felt like that?

Well, day before yesterday,

I could've merrily strung my grandson up

for setting off a fire extinguisher at school

because someone bet him a bag of crisps he couldn't.

So that's me hauled in and being made to feel this big.

Again.

Then, last Thursday, I could've happily throttled my son,

who, after persistently denying anything,

finally admitted he'd had a fling

with his nasty little bitch of an ex-girlfriend

whilst his perfectly lovely wife was in hospital

giving birth to their first child.

So he's a liar.

And then... When was it?

Two weeks ago?

I could've cheerfully strangled my sister Clare.

She's an alcoholic.

A recovering alcoholic and heroin addict.

She's been dry and clean -

apart from one or two blips with alcohol - for nearly 12 years.

Then she fell off the wagon at this funeral.

and said it was my fault, which...

..it was and it wasn't.

In fact, that was the same day that I did this thing

that's meant I'm having to do this business here...with you.

MUSIC: Trouble Town by Jake Bugg

# There's a tower block overhead

# All you've got's your benefits

# And you're barely scraping by

# In this trouble town

# Troubles are found

# Stuck in speed bump city

# Where the only thing that's pretty

# Is the thought of getting out. #

Tell me about Clare. Two weeks ago.

Why did she think it was your fault that she'd fallen off the wagon?

-SLURRED:

-I thought you were stopping!

I thought we were both stopping, and then suddenly you're not!

And I'm there on me own, and I don't know anybody,

except for, like, three people.

And you were five hours!

You said, "I shan't be so long," or whatever.

There's no buses up there, where they live.

Well...

there are might be, but I don't know where they go.

So what am I supposed to do?

Walk home? Hitch a lift?

Call a...taxi?

-Fly?!

-Clare?

Well, if it isn't our Clare!

How's yerself? Where you been, eh?

I've not seen you for years.

Spike. Ahh!

Eh, am I interrupting?

No, we were, um...

I'm not interrupting. Only, I just saw you

and I thought I'd say hello, cos...

Bloody 'ell!

Do I know you?

You look familiar.

It's me sister.

Ah, that's it! That'll be it.

Catherine.

Spike. How do you do?

I thought I knew you. I thought you were...

There's this copper round 'ere, she has a look o' you.

She's a right bitch - pardon my French.

She thinks she's well 'ard.

She did our Aaron for possession, right?

Nearly broke his bloody arm.

Not you, obviously.

Yeah, well, happen if he'd gone quietly,

she wouldn't have needed to show him who's in charge.

CLARE VOMITS

CLARE SPITS AND COUGHS

It was Tommy Lee Royce's mother's funeral an hour after Helen's.

Same crematorium.

That's why I left - I went back. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you.

I knew you were vulnerable and I shouldn't have gone,

but that's why. So...

I'm sorry.

You're joking.

You could have said. That I would've understood.

Was he there? Did they let him out of prison?

Yeah.

Wow...

SHE SIGHS

LIGHT KNOCK ON DOOR

WHISPERING: Daniel? Daniel?

Daniel?

Sorry. Can you do me a favour, love?

Can you get Ryan off to school on time?

I've got to get off to work and Clare's...

-She all right?

-Oh, God knows.

Either way, I can't see her surfacing much before dinner time.

I'm sorry to ask. I wouldn't have...

Oh, it's fine, don't worry.

I'll drop him off on my way to work.

-Tea.

-Thanks.

-I love you.

-Mm.

SHE SIGHS

I wish I knew what was going on with you.

Will you make sure he gets some breakfast inside him?

Course.

Last but not least, there was a...

..house fire in a flat above a shop in Ripponden

reported just after midnight this morning.

The flat was burnt out, apparently.

The fire officer is telling us there are several indicators

pointing towards arson, OK?

There was no-one in the flat, so we're looking for the tenant,

who is a Vicky - Victoria - Vicky Fleming.

50 years old.

She works on the make-up counter at Oswald Department Store,

according to the landlord who owns the shop.

So, Shaf, can you go and see if she's in work this morning

and what she knows about what's happened?

Ann, will you go with him? Right. That's all, folks.

Mind how you go.

-Morning, sir.

-Morning, boss.

INDISTINCT CHATTER

Chief Super's coming in to see you.

1.30 this aft. It'll be in my office.

Pillock.

You all right?

Have you thought about retirement?

No, sir.

Medical retirement.

Why? What's wrong with me?

18 months ago, you nearly died.

My wrist aches when the temperature drops below zero,

but other than that...

A thing like that takes its toll

mentally as well as physically, Catherine.

We did go some way down the medical retirement route last time.

Yeah, and it weren't what I wanted then, and it isn't what I want now.

Sir.

It would appear to me that you have unresolved issues,

which is why you turned up at that funeral yesterday -

a funeral which you and me both know, for 1,001 reasons,

you shouldn't have been anywhere near.

You were offered counselling when you left hospital 18 months ago.

-Yeah.

-Did you go?

Yeah.

Did you complete the course of treatment?

OK. I'm giving you options, Catherine. Two options.

I'd like you to see the force psychologist.

I'd like you to complete

whatever course of treatment he suggests to you.

Or the alternative -

and I do think it's something you should consider...

Seriously, you've had a long and distinguished career,

you're a highly respected officer who's suffered a major trauma.

Why don't I have a case conference with HR to take things forward

-down the medical retirement route?

-You're not doing that to me.

There is no stigma attached. You'd...

You'd retire on a full pension...

Yeah, and I'd miss the next three years' salary.

-Well, do you want to think about it?

-No.

Fine. So you'll take the first option.

You'll see the force psychologist, you'll remain operational,

but, this time, you will complete

whatever course of treatment he suggests to you.

And has Clare managed to stay dry during the last two weeks?

It's early days. But, er...

yeah. It was a lapse, it shook her more than anyone.

She's been at every AA meeting going since.

They do all sorts - they have a jive class...

She goes with this new boyfriend.

What about Daniel?

God knows.

And Ryan?

Well, he can be fine for weeks. But...

you never know when the phone's going to go,

and it'll be Mrs Beresford -

"You're going to have to come in and fetch him." So...

You have a lot on.

Ah, no more than most people my age, I suspect.

You did something very selfless when you took Ryan on.

There must have been times when you've struggled with it.

Well, I don't dwell on it.

I've always focused on the fact that it isn't his fault.

Tell me about Tommy Lee Royce.

What about him?

What took you to the funeral?

I have a friend who's scared of birds.

It's a proper phobia.

And, um, one day, this peacock...

..came and sat just outside her front door.

I've no idea where it came from, but it just sat there for hours.

And she didn't dare go out, and her husband was at work,

and she said she felt too stupid to ring anyone.

So she just stared at it through the sitting room window for hours

till it left,

and I said, "Why?"

And she said, "So I knew where it was."

So maybe that's it, maybe that's all it was.

I just...

..wanted to make sure I knew where he was till he was back inside.

Going back to the question...

..have you ever contemplated killing yourself or others?

What about him, Tommy Lee Royce?

My daughter died because of him. What do you think?

-Tell me about that.

-Look...

..if I'd really wanted to kill him,

I could've done on that narrow boat, 18 months since.

I had him on the floor, he was helpless,

I could have kicked the stuffing out of him, but I didn't.

What I actually did was douse him in foam

so he couldn't set fire to himself.

When it came to it, when the chips were down,

my instinct was to do the right thing.

-And do you regret that?

-No.

How was it?

That bad?

You just hear yourself talking wank.

Dripping off the ceiling and crawling down the walls.

The room's so full of it by the time you've finished,

you've to wade through it in your wellies to get out.

Do you fancy a drink tonight?

You fancy going out for something to eat?

Yeah, actually. That'd be nice.

-My treat.

-Why?

-Cos I feel like chucking me brass about.

-Ooh...

OK.

-And in other news...

-What?

..they think they've found another body.

-Where?

-Going over to Brighouse again. Same as first one.

There's been nothing found at the scene to identify who she is.

What we know at the moment is she's white,

she's 5ft 4in, slight build.

She's got blonde, shoulder-length hair.

Shoe size - 5. She's between 30 and 60 years old.

So we need to check all the mispers locally, force wide,

and then moving out force by force,

going back, I'd say... four weeks, initially.

CCTV in the area -

may be limited, but I'd like to see what we can gather.

As you go in, it says the site's covered,

but I didn't see any cameras.

Again, I'd say going back four weeks.

There are a number of houses opposite and along.

Jubilee Terrace, numbers 35 to 75 overlook the site to some degree.

We need to speak to all the occupants.

The number 259 and number 278 buses

go past the site on the Halifax Road.

Somebody may have seen something from a top window.

Let's visit the garages those buses drive out of,

see if they have specific drivers who drive those routes regularly,

any regular passengers who travel upstairs.

I'll include in the press release

an appeal to anyone who uses either of those two buses,

as well as anyone who travels up and down that road regularly.

Are we looking at the same killer, do you think, sir?

Er, she appears to have been strangled,

and there's vaginal mutilation of the same nature

as our previous three women. So, um...

Yeah. John! Can you come and do exhibits for me at the postmortem?

Emma's had to go to the dentist.

S-Sure.

Ten minutes, yeah? I'll meet you downstairs.

John? Boss is looking for you, mate. He's ready to go.

OK.

(Hey.)

Now? No, no problem. I'll pop back upstairs. Um...

Two minutes. Get the car started. Yeah...

Is it true another body's turned up?

Er, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

Is it the same? Another...?

Someone who's been trafficked?

Well, yeah, starting to look that way.

I shouldn't be asking.

John!

You all right?

Yeah!

Yeah... No.

Not really.

TENSE MUSIC PLAYS

Turns out my wife's been having it off

with this bastard she works with.

Jesus. Shit!

I'd been working on obs, so she thought I was away all night,

which I was, but then they got called off, so I went home. And...

there they were.

I've not told anyone.

God...

that's rough.

When?

Two weeks since.

Fella she's known for years.

-With t'kids in the house and all!

-HE LAUGHS

He's married, he's got kids.

That's crap.

Yeah. So...

Anyway...

I'm really sorry, John.

Not your fault.

Do you want to go for a drink some time?

Um...

Sorry. Is that inappropriate?

-Going for a drink?

-Asking.

-Oh, is it? I don't...

-I'm sorry....

-When?

-Any time.

-OK.

-Really?

-Not tonight.

-No.

-But...

-Yeah?

-..maybe...

-Yeah, whenever.

-..later in the...

-Yeah.

-..week.

Where are you off? Anywhere exciting?

Postmortem.

What, the victim's postmortem?

CAMERA CLICKS

CAMERA CLICKS

Asphyxiation.

Hyoid bone possibly broken.

I'll show you when I open her up.

-You're hurting me!

-You shouldn't have done it!

'John?'

John?

Nails.

Nails. Sorry, yeah.

So, we're looking at vaginal bruising and lacerations.

Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, erm...

It's just I haven't done one of these for a while

So, how many times do you have to go?

Six. Including today.

He assesses me...

..then he makes recommendations.

Who to? What sort of recommendations?

Maybe they're going to have me put down.

SHE LAUGHS

Have you ever been?

-Uh-uh.

-Have you ever done owt like that?

He leaves gaps.

We sit there in silence.

I think he relies on the idea that nature abhors a vacuum,

so if we sit there long enough, I'll feel obliged to fill it with...

shite. So I do.

Is it, though? Shite?

Some of it.

Look, if I'd really wanted to kill him, I could've done.

I had him on the floor, he was helpless,

I could've kicked the stuffing out of him.

But I didn't. What I actually did was douse him in foam

so he couldn't set fire to himself.

-Do you regret that?

-No.

Course I regret it! The only reason

I didn't kick the shit out of him was because he wanted me to.

"Kill me, kill me!"

"Piss off, you little turd, I'm not doing owt you want."

I neglected to mention that, after I'd doused him in foam,

I did indeed endeavour to kick the living daylights out of him.

But sadly that - whoever she was - policewoman went and waded in

-and pulled me off him.

-Bitch.

Well, I'm glad you didn't kill him, for what it's worth,

cos then you'd have been in even more bloody trouble.

Yeah, but that's what bothers me. I don't think I would have.

I think I could have probably got away with it,

-one way and another.

-Oh...

You weren't there. He was nearly dead anyway.

-He was in a bloody bad way.

-You're better than that.

No, I'm not.

Have you done, ladies?

Yeah, I have.

What time's Michael Jackson coming on, then?

Oh, any time now. Sorry, have you been waiting for him?

Thing is, it takes him half an hour to get ready,

with his make-up and his psyching himself up.

Is he any good?

He's... You know.

But we had Robbie Williams here two weeks ago

and he were...all right.

Oh, and then we've got Elvis back again week after next.

Did you see Elvis last time?

Cos we did have him here... Oh, six months back?

And he's...not bad, either.

KARAOKE VERSION OF "THRILLER" PLAYS

D'you know what really pissed me off when I saw him

was how well he looked?

He's obviously been looking after himself inside.

Narcissistic twat.

I think maybe I was hoping he'd gone down the Swanee

-and that he was getting beaten up and buggered around.

-Maybe he is.

You don't know.

He'll have 'em all wrapped round his little finger.

-Why would he?

-Running round in little circles, wetting themselves.

-Why would he?

-Oh, just...

I bet he gets letters.

I bet there's a string of deluded mad bitches in love with him

who want to introduce him to Jesus.

Yeah, well, either way,

there's nowt cushy about Gravesend Prison.

You did a great job, Catherine.

Death would've been too kind.

What you did to him was perfect.

Hey, have you alibied yourself yet?

Don't you start.

Well, have you? No, have you?

No.

Why not? Why not?!

I can't! I've checked everything -

my calendar, my smart book, my day book, the roster.

I mean, I don't care, I don't give a toss. I know I didn't do it.

Have you asked everybody else to check all their doings?

-What good will that do?

-Well, it might jog someone's memory.

You give me the dates and I'll ask around.

Right.

Go on, then.

-I'll text 'em to you.

-When?

Tomorrow.

You'll forget.

You can remind me.

-Do it when you get in.

-What, now?

Ooh, here he comes! My knight in shining armour. Billy!

Has he seen me? Big nelly's lost his glasses again.

He's got a tail-light out.

Oh, yeah, I'll tell him.

Come here.

Night-night, sweetheart.

-Text me as soon as you get in.

-Night.

Hey!

Why are you so bothered about me alibi-ing myself?

Cos I care about you.

Has Mike Taylor been on at you?

-No.

-Has he?

-No!

-Has he?

Cos I know he's been canvassing opinion about me

and passing it on to Praveen

cos of things this therapist said

about what my colleagues think of me.

Like the high esteem everybody holds you in?

You better not go telling him stuff I've said this evening

about that twat, cos I'll know if you have.

Do you think I would?

Do you think I would do that?

No, I'm just saying.

So... Sorry, are you threatening me?

No. No, I'm just saying.

You don't need to text them dates. I was only trying to help.

-All right.

-Right.

Night-night, then.

Night.

She was asphyxiated with quite a narrow ligature,

looking at the bruising on the muscle.

Something like an electrical cable.

The grazing on the right knee

happened, I would imagine, during the struggle.

She was alive when it happened.

She was already dead, though,

when the internal vaginal injuries were inflicted.

Can you be any more specific about her age?

Her internal organs are healthy enough.

She wasn't a drinker, she didn't smoke.

Never given birth.

Teeth are in good condition, so...

So, not what you'd think of as a typical prostitute lifestyle?

She's maybe 45 to 55.

Could she be Eastern European?

No. British dental work.

And you're still confident she's been there two or three weeks?

There's no more than three weeks' hair regrowth from the roots,

even with skin slippage.

Was she killed where we found her?

There was very little blood at the scene, but it rained

and the ground was porous.

We've lost any postmortem hypostasis

because of the skin discolouration

so I couldn't really tell you.

-Are we looking at the same killer?

-Yeah.

Not as frenzied, not as extensive internally, but, yeah.

DOOR CLOSES

TELEVISION IS ON

Where is everyone?

Ryan's in bed.

Clare and Neil are in t'kitchen with Winnie and Ilinka,

and why can't all these people just go home?

Are you all right?

I've had a letter from a solicitor.

About divorce proceedings.

Hey...

They think they've found another one. It's been on t'news.

National news on t'telly.

Have they announced it officially?

They're saying everything suggests it's another one.

I don't know how official it is.

She's worried it'll be someone else she knows.

She says they went missing all the time.

And it's not just that. They've let that fella out on bail.

Can I pour you some tea?

Catherine?

No, thanks. What fella?

The one you tasered. He's called Goran Dragovic

and she's terrified he's going to come after her.

He's been let out on bail?

They charged him with false imprisonment

and people trafficking and...

People trafficking for the purposes of prostitution.

And now they've let him out on bail.

-Wow.

-Are they mental?

It doesn't mean you're in any more danger. Tell her.

SHE TRANSLATES

He might be out, but he still doesn't know where you are.

SHE TRANSLATES

It just means he knows somebody

with enough money to pay his bail for him.

The Knezevics?

God knows.

On the plus side, he won't be going anywhere

cos we'll have taken his passport off him.

-If that is a plus.

-There is something else as well.

-What?

-What?

She wants to go back to work at the biscuit factory.

She can't do that.

Well, I don't think it's a great idea,

but she keeps going on about how they were all very nice to her,

the other people, and them that ran it.

I mean, they are a legitimate business.

-It doesn't matter.

-What, employing trafficked women?

No, that's... The people who own it probably don't even realise

they are trafficked, they probably were perfectly nice to her.

-The problem is...

-How can they not know? They don't pay 'em!

No, they do! The biscuit factory does.

What happens is the traffickers set themselves up

as a legitimate employment agency.

They don't go round advertising the fact that they're criminal scum,

it's not written across their foreheads.

They provide staff, women, employees,

then the biscuit factory pays the money to them,

the employment agency/criminal scum,

then it's THEM that don't pass the wages on to the women.

That's how they make their money. However...

-Devious bastards.

-She still can't go back there.

She still can't go back there, cos it's not impossible

that the Knezevics'll still have people who go in there every day.

Then they WILL see her and they might follow her.

She really can't do that, Winnie, seriously.

You've got to spell that out to her.

You can't keep sleeping in here.

Have you kept yourself busy today?

Yeah, I've been fine.

You all right?

I just...

I can't get my head round what that woman's been through. Ilinka.

I mean, where do they get the idea from

that they can do that to people?

Is Neil stopping?

You are good, you know. The things you do for people.

I've just wasted my life doing bugger all,

but you, you really help people.

YOU help people. At the Mission.

We make tea.

No, you listen to people.

It's important.

Sorry.

You're bereaved. You're allowed to be upset.

You just need to make sure you look after yourself.

Hm?

Yeah.

I am doing. I will.

Neil thinks you don't like him.

Why?

When he offered to make you some tea,

you said you didn't want any.

That's, like, an hour ago.

Yeah, I know, I said that, but, you know, I think...

he's frightened of you.

There's only one kind of person

who needs to be frightened of me, Clare. You know that.

I know you like to think that,

but, you know, some people are just sensitive.

Yeah, as in oversensitive.

Been up to kiss Ryan?

Yeah. He was asleep.

He said summat today. Odd.

What?

Miss Wealand, this new one that reads with him.

I've met her, she seems right enough.

He said they were talking about things he likes

and things he doesn't like.

He doesn't like reading, for instance, and he does like chips.

and custard and football, that kind of thing.

Anyway, apparently, she said, "What about your dad?

"Do you like your dad?"

And he says... He just said, "We don't talk about me dad,"

and that were it. But why's she asking him about his dad?

Doesn't she know not to do that? Haven't they told her?

Ask her next time you see her.

She won't be back there now till next Monday,

she only works Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

BUZZING

DOOR OPENS

Can you two brush your teeth?

Now. Right now.

And I know for a fact you weren't out on obs that night,

cos I rang Clifford.

Pack your shit and move out, that's all I've got to say.

I'll just keep repeating it.

For years, I've put up with you coming in at all hours.

I can't believe you're still here, to be honest with you.

You need to be the one that moves out, John, not me.

You neglected us. There's no wonder things've happened.

-These kids don't know who you are.

-Whore. Slapper.

-They prefer Graham to you.

-Slag.

-He helps 'em with their homework.

-Trollop.

-He talks to them.

-Filthy bitch.

Pox merchant.

You weren't on obs. You're a liar.

Oh, really? And what would Clifford know?

He never gets sent on obs because of his sciatica.

Yeah, maybe I'll ask Andy Shepherd.

Yeah, you've got a hotline to the superintendent.

-Yeah, well, maybe I have.

-Yeah? Really? D'you want his number?

Mr Tekeli, I read your statement for that assault.

I see we're still struggling

with the I before E except after C concept

and can you find someone with more time and patience

than I have to explain to you the difference when you spell

"he threatened to break my arm" and "I applied the foot brake"?

Thank you.

I got you this.

To say sorry. I was, you know, tired and emotional

and out of order and I'm sorry.

I thought it'd remind you of me, cos it's prickly.

And I'm prickly. In fact, you could call it Catherine

and then next time you get cross with me, you could...

-Throw it at you.

-Yeah. Er, yeah, that'd work.

Or I could call it by your nickname.

That might make me happy.

Sure! Absolutely. Except I haven't got one.

Oh, you do!

No...

-Do I?

-Obviously not one we use to your face.

-What is it?

-Well, it's a secret from you.

Obviously, everybody else knows it.

Everybody upstairs and up at headquarters

and that lot down at t'cafe that does us butties.

-Well, what is it, then?

-It's...

It's... It's not very flattering.

I haven't got a nickname.

No. Good. OK.

What is it, then?

I accept your apology.

-What's my nickname?

-You haven't got one.

-How long have I had it?

-I shouldn't have said anything.

-What are you going to call the cactus, then?

-Nothing.

No, come on, tell me or I'm taking it back.

-OK.

-No, tell me.

Look, I didn't invent it.

What is it?

Come here.

-I'm not telling you.

-Right, whatever.

-Keep the cactus.

-Mm.

These are those dates when I was out murdering prostitutes,

if you still want to check your diary.

-Nothing I'd rather do.

-Come on, what is it?

You used to be a detective. Find out.

-I will.

-Good! Good luck.

-Right!

-Mm.

Are you lying?

-POLICE RADIO:

-'Bravo November 45.

'Could you look at log 134 of today, at Crow Wood Park?

'We've had a phone call from a nun about a suspected suicide.'

-A nun?

-'Paramedics are on their way. Can you get someone round there?'

-A real nun?

-No, a pretend one(!)

Responding.

They might be dressed up going to a hen party.

-Ten o'clock in t'morning?

-Charlie Oscar 965.

They might still be out from the night before.

Charlie Oscar 965.

It's baptism of fire time, kid.

We've got a suicide up Crow Wood Park.

'I'm coming to pick you up, you're coming wi' me.'

"We don't talk about me dad?"

Yeah. But, listen, don't get cross!

He said that, but then nothing could be further from the truth.

Once he started, it was like he could talk about nothing else.

What did he say?

He said how much he liked you

when he met you outside the shop and on the boat

and how he still thinks about you.

Did he say that? Did he actually say that?

-That he still thinks about me?

-Every day.

Yes. He said it.

Yeah, but in a bad way.

No! He talked about bringing you milk.

And how he upset you by bringing his friend

and how much he wishes he hadn't done that now

because that seemed to spoil everything.

Did he...?

Did he say owt about me chucking petrol all over him?

He did. Yeah.

That was really interesting,

because he says that all he can think of now

-is how ill you were when that happened.

-I was.

I WAS. I had septicaemia. I were off me head, I nearly died!

-He thinks it's his fault.

-Eh?

He said if he hadn't brought his friend,

you wouldn't have got upset that day and done that.

It wasn't his friend, as such. He were a nice enough little lad.

I were just frightened they were going to tell people where I was,

cos I knew they'd crucify me.

I would never have hurt him, Frances.

Never.

Not in a million years.

I were just off me head.

-You see, I think he knows that.

-Did he say it?

No, no, but I could see in his eyes

that he still really thinks about you.

In a good way.

Hm!

"We don't talk about me dad"!

You see, she'll be trying to fill his head with shit about me.

You've got to tell him stuff, Frances.

You have got to make sure he knows stuff.

-If you don't, nobody else will. I can't.

-I will.

Obviously, I will eventually...

And all the other stuff, all the lies I got convicted over.

I did not rape Ann Gallagher. That were Lewis.

It were me that used to bring her Mars bars and let her use t'bucket.

I did not kill that little police girl up on t'moor either.

That were Lewis.

-And I had to kill him, cos he come at me with that knife!

-I know.

-But nobody believes me.

I do.

Yeah.

Except you.

I did kick the shite out of his granny,

but A, she were asking for it,

and B, she would have killed me.

Spraying me wi' that stuff!

She would have killed me on that boat an' all

if that woman hadn't come and pulled her off me,

and has she ever been taken to court over that?

Has she hell as like!

And now there's been another murder on t'news. Have you seen it?

-Yeah.

-Just the same as me mother.

She is a clever bitch...

..making it look like a serial killer.

You see, I know.

I've told you before, I know how a bitch like that thinks.

She is poison, her.

She's dangerous.

I know we try not to have nasty thoughts, Frances, but...

HE IMITATES A GUNSHOT

..she needs putting out of her misery, that one.

He's been talking about things at home.

His Auntie Clare drinks.

I've met her. She's a nice woman.

But between the grandmother's anger and his auntie's problem,

yes, we could ask for better things.

We have to get him out of there.

Well, we can't get him out of there just yet.

-But we can keep an eye on him. Can't we?

-No...

Frances, I keep telling you...

and you keep not hearing me!

That is not enough.

If a detective - he's a sergeant - asks me out for a drink,

that's not unethical, is it?

Is he married?

Well, yeah, he is, but he's just found out

his wife's been having it off with someone else, so...

Is he old enough to be your dad?

No.

Yeah, actually. He probably is.

He's not as old as my dad, but, yeah, technically.

And do you believe him about his wife?

I don't fancy him. We're just mates.

Yeah, but is that what he thinks?

It's not really ethics, is it, love?

It's about whether it's wise or not.

You know at work...

Yeah?

Have I got a nickname?

One or two.

One or two?

-I

-don't use them.

Oh... That bad, eh?

Do you think maybe I COULD go for a drink with him?

See, I'm interested in the possibility

of becoming a detective, eventually, so..

So what are they, then, these nicknames?

-Why are you putting me on the spot?

-Cos you're here.

I've never met a nun.

The way you changed the subject then

was so subtle, I barely noticed(!)

Me dad says it's a compliment when people have a nickname.

He says people don't bother giving a nickname

to someone they're not bothered about.

-So, well, what are they, then?

-I wouldn't worry about it.

I'm not worried.

I'm delighted.

I didn't know I had a nickname. Two nicknames.

-Hello.

-Are you all right, love?

Just a bit of shock. She's going to be absolutely fine.

Right. So where is it?

Who found him? You?

Yes, it was us that phoned.

Vodka bottles everywhere. He must've got tanked up to do it.

OK.

Can you get a first account out of those two for me?

Who they are, what they're doing here, where they're from.

-They're nuns, I shouldn't think they're up to much.

-He's dead.

-Thanks, love.

-It's on the left.

Careful as you go down. It's a bit slippery.

They'll be from St Werburgh's.

Find out if they walk through here regularly and, if they do,

at what times,

and if they're familiar with anybody else who walks through here.

Bravo November 45, I'm in Crow Wood Park,

suspected suicide confirmed dead by the paramedic.

We need a CSI here

and somebody from CID, if there's anyone available.

Wow...

Yeah.

-How are you going to get him down?

-That's easy.

I'm going to wait for CID to turn up and let them do it.

So, come on. These names.

Just spit 'em out quickly, then it's done with.

I don't want to be, like, the messenger that gets shot.

What, do you think I'm that small-minded?

Shall I go and take those first accounts?

I'll tell you what... You can write 'em down, if it's easier.

-I'm not sure I should.

-No, love, I'm not asking you.

I think, going back to ethics,

you shouldn't use your rank to make me tell you something like that.

Rank? We're friends.

Not at work! You said that.

I saved your life from that bastard.

Yeah, go on, lady. Get round that one.

Do you really want to know that badly?

Catherine?

Are they really shit?

No.

They're affectionate but, you know,

not...not...not something you might choose for yourself. That's all.

If you really want to know, I WILL tell you.

What's up?

I know him.

It's that bloke I tasered.

They let him out on bail yesterday.

Do you want to do the talking?

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Good practice for you.

And anyway, look, it was me that tasered him.

If we weren't so understaffed and under-resourced,

I wouldn't even be here.

This is bordering on awkward.

HE KNOCKS ON DOOR

-Mrs Dragovic?

-There's no-one here.

Is your husband Goran Dragovic?

-He's not here, he works shifts.

-Could we come in?

It's not a good time for me, I'm busy, I'm going out.

It's important, Mrs Dragovic. There's been an accident.

-What accident?

-Can we...?

BABY GRIZZLES

You might want to sit down.

SHE KNOCKS ON DOOR

-Hiya.

-Oh, hello.

I saw a dead body this morning. This fella hanged himself.

You'll get used to it.

I didn't mind. I was fascinated.

His tongue was like...

and his lips were blue, proper blue,

and his eyes were all, like, bulging out.

Does that make me weird? Not being freaked?

Is it true that men get an erection when they hang?

Well, it depends what they were doing at the time.

So normally not, then?

Nah. It's a myth.

OK. Good! Well, there you go. I've learned something!

Inspector Taylor sent me up with this for Mr Shepherd.

-Is he in?

-No, he's stepped out.

It's nothing. It's just Brunhilde's alibi. Finally.

-Joyce at t'front desk worked it out.

-Brunhilde?

-Miss Trunchbull.

-Sergeant Cawood.

I'll put it on his desk.

You still want to go for a drink?

-Well, yeah. Yeah, if you...

-I would!

Tonight? Moorings?

-Seven? Half past?

-Great. Seven.

Where's all the boards?

What boards?

You know, on telly, they have all glass boards

with photos of the deceased and clues and, you know, stuff.

Yeah, well, in real life, we have these.

-Can I look?

-Er...

No. It's... There's some pretty graphic stuff in there.

I want to be a detective.

I want to do what you lot do.

Ma'am?

Sure!

Is this the most recent victim?

Yeah.

How was the postmortem? Did you learn anything?

Oh, just...

Not much.

Well, nothing relevant.

Well, we think she's not a prostitute, John.

-That's pretty relevant.

-Not?

Oh, yeah, yeah. The clothes.

Expensive dress and shoes, other lifestyle...

You know, she didn't smoke, didn't drink, she...

Her teeth were well looked after. So, yeah, yeah.

So...how will you identify her?

Well, sometimes we get a DNA match on our database,

but that's usually only if they've committed a crime in the past.

And she hasn't, so we've been looking at missing persons, but...

You know we never found the woman

who lived in the burnt-out flat in Ripponden, don't you?

Two weeks ago.

Yeah, no, as I say, you know,

we've, er...we've checked all the local mispers,

but she's probably been cleared for whatever reason.

No, this woman isn't a misper.

No-one ever actually reported her missing, as such.

She's called Victoria Fleming, Vicky Fleming,

and how old is your woman?

Between 45 and 55.

-That's... That would fit the bill.

-Really?

-This is her?

-Yeah.

Blonde shoulder-length hair, slim build.

I've got a photo of her on file.

Me and Shaf went down to talk to HR

at the department store where she works.

We made a copy. Shall I e-mail it to you?

-Well, that's...that's...

-That'd be really helpful, if you could.

-Right.

Hm. Joined-up thinking.

Why didn't we know about this?

-'You're kidding.'

-Nope.

Well done. Fantastic! Thank you, Joyce. Thank you.

Yeah, well, that's what friends are...

LINE GOES DEAD

The night Aurelia Petrovic was murdered,

this is five months ago, I was at Oldham Coliseum with Joyce

dressed up like a pillock for the Rocky Horror Show!

She invited me at the last second cos her cousin dropped out.

That's why it never went on me calendar.

So when Aurelia Petrovic was getting slashed,

-you and Joyce were doing the Time Warp.

-Isn't life weird?

-I can't picture that.

-Yeah, don't try.

DOOR CLOSES Off the hook. It's official.

Not the guilty party after all.

So Jodie Shackleton can stick that up her pipe and smoke it.

IN her pipe and smoke it.

I don't care where she sticks it. I've rung her anyway.

I've told her. (Bitch.)

-Neil's coming for his tea.

-OK.

You won't frighten him, will you?

I will do me best.

And can you ask Daniel not to be... weird with him?

Sure.

-How was school?

-Boring.

Oi, what's this about Miss Wealand asking you about your dad?

Nothing. I told her, I said, "We don't talk about me dad."

What have I told you about kicking your ball against Winnie's wall?

Well, keep it that way.

It's only me. All right?

I've got good news.

Well, it's macabre news.

Goran Dragovic is dead.

SHE TRANSLATES

Suicide. He hanged himself from a tree in Crow Wood Park.

THEY SPEAK IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE

She... She says he would never kill himself. It's them.

They shut him up so he won't...he won't talk.

PHONE RINGS

Hello.

Bloody hell, John, it's definitely Vicky Fleming.

I've spoken to the OIC on District and I've given the lab a bell to chassey them along

for any DNA matches they might have found from the personal stuff

they got from her workplace, but...

Oh, it's her. I mean, you can see it's her from the photos.

She's even, in one of these photos,

wearing that same dress she was wearing when she died.

'John?'

Great.

Yeah.

-Have you told the boss?

-Yeah.

-Well done.

-'Right. I'll see you, then.'

Bye.

CAR HORN BLARES, HE GASPS

INAUDIBLE

Are you all right, love?

I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm sorry.

-You were right over the wrong side of the road.

-I'm sorry.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Um...

I'm just a bit shaken.

-Are you all right?

-Yeah, I'm fine, love.

You just gave me a bit of a surprise, that's all.

You want to be more careful.

# In this trouble town

# Troubles are found

# In this trouble town

# Word soon gets round

# Stuck in speed bump city Where the only thing that's pretty

# Is the thought of getting out. #