Parasite Holby City

-I didn't know you worked at Holby.

-Yeah.

-My mum's Berenice Wolfe.

-For bravery.

-Thank you.

I was hoping to find a candidate to help me with collating research.

Jasmine, you're about to embark on

a very tough and demanding journey with me.

It was...close.

Did I just hear you right?

-Maybe my ears are a little bit wonky, but...

-Yes.

You did.

POUNDING HEARTBEAT

SHE SIGHS

Bad news?

AAU. Patient's collapsed on the way in.

To what do I owe the pleasure?

Oh, the pleasure is all yours, I can assure you.

I was hoping to catch the new locum before he started.

He's late. I don't like him already.

Well, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation.

I'm sure there is. I still don't want to hear it.

I wanted to give him a warm welcome

before you give him the inevitable cold one.

He's late for his first shift. Do you want me to put a balloon out?

Well, Jac, perhaps if you would've helped sort through the CVs...

You're the CEO, it's your choice.

Then you'll just have to hope that I picked a suitable candidate.

The agency has informed me that Mr Rossini

has a certain presence about him.

Well, his presence seems to be the one thing I'm missing.

-Jac...

-Look, he's going to have to do a lot to impress me after this.

Oh! I think I'm actually dying.

Please, be more dramatic, patients in Oncology can't quite hear you(!)

Why don't you feel as bad as I do?

-Because I can handle my drink.

-No, you can't.

-I switched to water halfway through the night.

-Oh!

I'm not sure vomiting on a patient in front of a live audience

is going to do anything for my funding prospects.

-Oh, the live stream.

-Yeah. Come on.

No! No, two more minutes. Two more minutes.

You're supposed to be unconscious.

Do you two know what unconscious means?

I'll be your consultant. My name's Ja...

Jac Naylor. Yes, I know who you are.

Well, someone's done their homework.

I've always wanted to meet a heart surgeon.

I wouldn't exactly say it's your lucky day.

Right, let's get her admitted and taken up to Darwin, please.

-You in a hurry?

-Oh, well, you know me, like to lead by example.

Well, we're half an hour early.

Well, as my mother used to say,

punctuality is the art of waiting for the careless.

I see.

No. Bernie...?

It only takes one monkey for the jungle drums to start beating here.

Yeah, I remember.

Let's enjoy the peace while we can.

I tell you what, if tongues do start wagging around here,

it won't be because of us.

HORSE WHINNIES

Easy.

-Oh!

-All right?

She fell from the horse.

-What's your name, love?

-Jenny.

Well, Jenny, it looks like you've had a bit of a bump,

so we'll get you inside and checked over, OK?

My horse, is he OK?

Don't worry, we'll get him taken care of. I'll get a wheelchair.

I just don't know what happened.

-Excuse me?

-Hello.

-That's a horse.

Encouraging to see the doctors here have such a keen eye for detail.

You've risked exacerbating her injuries.

I cleared her neck at the scene.

Well, I'm sure you're very proud of your first-aid certificate,

but we can take care of it now. Please sort out your horse.

Jenny Osborne, 62.

Fell from a moving horse roughly 20 minutes ago.

Briefly KO'd, GCS 15.

BP 120/80, pulse 70.

And it is not my horse.

We've got it from here, thank you very much. Er...

Matteo. Matteo Rossini.

Now, could one of you point me in the direction of Darwin ward?

I believe I'm late for my first day.

Yes, Mr Griffin, I'm sure he's here somewhere.

Busted.

That's really mean.

I'm just, um...

What, you're not worried about a dressing-down from me?

Well, maybe when you had your nifty dye job, but not now.

I'm not exactly a stickler for the rules myself, would you believe,

but this is pretty inappropriate.

The bag's nearly empty.

So, this debauchery, is it to do with the research project?

-I thought you were cool with Isaac's decision.

-No!

What is with everyone in this hospital psychoanalysing each other?

-It's weird!

-There's a live-stream operation.

You don't get that every day.

Yeah, I can think of a lot better things to do with a webcam, thanks.

No. It's a hangover, I'll be fine.

Excellent. Well, if you're feeling better,

there's a patient with a perforated viscus in bed seven.

Come on, lickety-split.

-Don't do that! Don't...!

-SACHA CHUCKLES

Ahem!

Morning, Mrs Porter.

We have two state-of-the-art theatres

and funding in line with our status

as a centre of excellence for cardiothoracics.

We perform 1,000 cardio and 800 thoracic surgeries per year.

And the canteen?

I'm sorry?

-The food.

-I'd rather eat roadkill.

We have three bays, ten beds.

HDU is in there, my office is down here.

She really shouldn't be here.

Yeah, well, CPS don't agree.

-It's only been a few weeks.

-Or her lawyers.

It's looking like she won't be charged...though.

If I say I'm fit for work, I'm fit for work.

Thanks for the support(!)

These are your colleagues. Miss Maureen Effanga, consultant.

A pleasure, Ms Effanga.

Mo's fine.

Ahem!

Specialist registrar, Dr Valentine.

And CT2, Dr March.

I can see I'm going to like working here.

I'd like to hear you say that by the end of the day...mate.

If we've quite finished, you're going to shadow Ms Effanga today.

She treats, you watch.

You can afford the luxury of an induction?

It's my department, my rules.

-If you say so, Boss.

-A-huh.

And you don't remember falling at all?

No, I remember, just can't for the life of me think why.

OK. Fletch, FBC, U&Es, LFTs, blood gases and a head CT.

-Oh, and a nasal tampon for the, um...

-Various.

-Yeah.

On your right, you'll find Ms Campbell and Ms Wolfe,

clinical leads of the Acute Admissions Unit.

They're both kind of big deals, so look lively, yeah?

-Good morning.

-Morning.

Any pearls of wisdom for the new rotation?

Yes. The pay is better abroad.

Observe, learn and always question your own decisions.

I couldn't have put it better myself. Follow me.

Oh, and never leave a man behind.

Or was that the previous career?

Yeah, that was the previous career.

OK to leave a family behind, though?

Hi, Mum.

Is she always like this, your boss?

Like what?

HE HISSES

You haven't seen nothing. Today's a good day.

And what's a bad day like?

All in good time, Mr Rossini.

I do hope so.

Right, 105 BPM. You're tachycardic.

We're going to have to run some more tests.

-I'm not going home any time soon?

-It doesn't look like it.

I need to cancel on a client.

Bit of a relief, to be honest. I barely looked at their case.

Is there anyone we can ring for you?

I think I've got this, thanks.

Fine. Let's send her for an echo, upper chest X-ray.

-Excuse me.

-Um...

Here he is, Butch Cassidy(!)

Who turns up to their first day at work on a horse?

-A stable hand.

-A narcissist.

How long have you had these heart symptoms?

What is this, medicine in the round?

I thought I already had a doctor.

Two heads are better than one, no?

Lean forward for me.

Everything OK?

If you'd like my professional opinion...

If she doesn't, I would.

Mr Jakeman has a malignant thyroid tumour we'll be extracting today

with a total thyroidectomy.

Trust you're OK performing in front of an audience?

All the world's a stage, Mr Jakeman.

To have a benign tumour which turns malignant is pretty unlucky.

Well, isn't that good to know(!)

Are you're sure there's no-one you want us to call?

I'm a lone ranger. I don't want anyone here.

(A little overly dramatic.)

Call from the Ivory Tower. Mr Griffin has a job for you.

But we're doing the live stream today. I'm a bit busy.

So is the ED. They need you on the front line.

Today? He's seriously calling my research assistant away today?

Yes. Don't blame me. Remember your stab vest.

Who am I to argue with hospital hierarchy?

Go on. I'll update you on the procedure later.

Oh. Well, at least I might get to see Caleb Knight.

Sorry, Mr Jakeman, I'm off, but you're in good hands.

Hm. Looking at the scan, the tumour seems to be less than...

Dr Copeland?

Yes? What? I thought you needed an assistant.

All right, fine. I'll see you in about an hour,

when you come crawling to me, begging for my help.

I'm not one for repeating myself, so if I were you, I'd listen up.

This is MY department

and I demand a general level of compliance from my staff.

-Don't touch that!

-What is this?

It's expensive.

Don't sit there!

SHE SIGHS

It is admirable, such a devotion to one's career.

But I have one question.

Why no pictures of your child?

You like to keep your private life private. OK.

So you stalked me. That's not creepy at all(!)

-Mrs Naylor...

-Miss!

Sorry. Miss Naylor...

..I wasn't asked to work at this hospital

for a significantly lower sum of money than I am worth

so I can shadow.

Ms Effanga is a highly-experienced surgeon, whom I trust implicitly.

And I still believe that to be a colossal waste of mine,

the NHS' and the patients' time.

The heart here is the same as in Rome, no?

I look forward to working with you.

To achieving great things with you.

And, no doubt, learning from you.

But I will not be scared by you.

Can I help you?

My mate, no visitors, apparently.

Oh, um...Mr Jakeman.

I've sent him messages all week, but he's got his blue ticks turned off.

Huh! I need to do that.

I don't get it.

I was there when he had cancer the last time. We were solid.

You know, sometimes people need to do these things alone.

Ahem!

-This could get me in big trouble.

-Nice one.

You could have at least left a note.

-I said I didn't want any visitors!

-Dude said it was OK.

Is it...back, mate?

Because if it is, it's cool, yeah? It'll be like last time.

FIFA, beers, all the 9/11 conspiracy documentaries you want.

And...I bought you a survival kit. Heh!

You can't get involved clinically,

so, you have to attach yourself emotionally instead?

That's a little bit of a leap.

Two men united by cancer and you have to parachute into their lives

-like a medical equivalent of Mary Poppins.

-That's camp.

My patient needs objectivity and a focused mind.

You went out and got smashed last night because

it was the anniversary of you and Arthur becoming Facebook friends.

Nice to know I have your support(!)

This is a man's medical wellbeing, Dom. Not everything's about you.

Come on, then, Poirot, pericardial cyst or tumour. Anything to add?

Yes. Poirot is not Italian.

Our scans confirm your raised heartbeat is being caused

-by a mass on the right ventricular outflow track of your heart.

-Right.

We need to run a few more tests before we consider how to treat it.

Let's have a CT scan, FBCs, please, Rochelle. Yes, Mr Rossini?

-Just one question.

-Go for it.

-You like animals?

-Excuse me?

You know, like, cats, dogs, fish?

Where exactly are you going with this?

I have been exposed to animals in the past, yes.

Excellent.

Something you'd like to share with the class?

Oh, so, now you want my opinion?

Heh-heh! You know, this smart guy routine, it's intoxicating(!)

I need to check a few things.

Wouldn't want to make a fool out of myself on my first day.

Just never seemed like a good time.

The middle of a shift felt right, though, did it?

Surprise!

It's good to see you, Cam.

So, er...are you and Serena serious?

This is not an appropriate workplace conversation.

Shame. You'll have to have an actual conversation with me

outside the workplace, then.

Ah. Sorry. Er...Mrs Osborne's file.

She was admitted last week with a minor CVA.

Would have been good to know.

Er...Jenny, why didn't you mention your stroke?

-Because I'm fine.

-I can't say I don't admire

your determination to get back in the saddle,

but a little R&R would have gone a long way.

I wanted to prove it hadn't beaten me.

Well, you certainly gave it a good go, didn't you?

Is there anyone at home looking after you?

There's someone at home, don't know if you'd say he's looking after me.

-Well, shall we give him a bell?

-It's worth a try.

We'll keep you under observation until we get your results back.

-Mum?

-Sorry, what?

Er...Ms Wolfe.

Mrs Osborne's ocular movements,

the way she looked at you seems a bit off.

Ten points for enthusiasm, Cam,

but I examined her eyes when she arrived.

The patient had a stroke a week ago,

I think we can safely assume this is related.

-You're the boss.

-Wow!

If I'd known it was that easy to get you to listen to me,

I'd have brought you into work years ago.

-I wasn't that bad.

-He was a terror.

-Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

-Oi!

You're right. Taught me every trick in the book, she did.

It makes much more sense to treat her symptoms non-surgically

to avoid putting her at greater risk of heart failure.

-Unless anyone's got a better idea?

-I do.

JAC SIGHS Are you waiting for a drumroll?

It's a cyst caused by hydatid disease.

It's rare in the heart, but not unheard of.

Hydatid disease? Isn't that caused by an infestation of tapeworm?

She has a parasite.

I'm sure your internet-browsing skills are second to none,

but we need a little more than that.

It's particularly endemic to North Africa.

You worked in North Africa?

North Africa, Syria, Chile. Medecins Sans Frontieres.

We'll continue as planned.

Medecins Sans Frontieres.

Well, we've all been travelling.

Yes. You came home with cirrhosis of the liver and an exotic disease.

Very desirable(!)

So, you're fairly certain that it's hydatid disease?

I'm fairly certain of a lot of things.

-He doesn't like me.

-Well, he's just jealous.

A handsome doctor talking to his ex-girlfriend.

He's not gay?

No, he's not gay.

He is a very lucky man.

He was a very lucky man.

So, tell me, Mr Rossini, how does one go from

fighting the good fight in Syria to the backstreets of Holby?

A story for another day, and lots of wine.

If I wanted a serological test, could you do that for me?

In theory, yes.

Going behind Jac's back is the workplace equivalent

of poking a bear with a big stick.

-Hm.

-A big bear. Grizzly.

As your superior, I request that you order the test.

What is this, divide and conquer, or...?

I'm just doing my job.

You're going to get me in trouble.

-I'm sorry.

-Well, this is big.

-Fine, taking it back.

-Too late now.

So, why the change of heart?

Maybe I realised that you did have the patient's interests at heart

and that I was focusing too much on personal gain.

Self-reflection, as well? You must be hungover.

-PAGER BLEEPS

-Ooh! Excuse me.

-What's in the bag, then?

-What isn't in the bag, my friend?

Lads' mags, a Gameboy,

a couple of bottles of beer,

a bottle opener, pack of Johnnys.

Crisps, selfie stick, Vitamin C tablets. Think I've got you covered.

-Wow! That's some friend you have.

-Just doing my duty.

Right, you'd better scrub up, then. My last resort has just failed.

That's weird. I don't think you're on your hands and knees.

Don't push it.

Can you check his group and save results are back, please? Spit-spot.

Good-luck charm?

Um...yeah, something like that.

Where is he, Romeo?

Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo? Why are we doing Shakespeare?

-That's his name, my horse.

-Now, that would make more sense.

A mate of mine from the ED is looking after him.

He's away from the road, he's got plenty of water

-and about 20 packets of Polos.

-Thank you.

-Could you pass my phone? It's in my puffer.

-Yeah.

Got it. There you go. Right, I'll be back in a minute.

What are you doing?

Treating her nosebleed.

-Unsupervised?

-Yeah. Fletch just went.

Yes, to get the adrenaline you clearly need.

-Ah!

-You're going to have to sharpen up, or you're going to fail...again.

Thank you.

JAC SIGHS

Was I right?

An educated guess, nothing more.

Isn't that what medicine is?

If only I was as smart as you think you are.

-Question.

-Well, if it's a stupid one,

you're going to get a stupid answer.

How long can you work alongside your family

without one of you spontaneously combusting?

Hm! In most cases, probably about five minutes.

You did it with your husband.

Yeah, well, not for long.

Sorry, I didn't...

I haven't seen you around the shelter for a little while.

-Where have you been?

-Studying.

It was you that gave me the kick up the arse I needed, actually.

Really?

Um...so, do you think you made the right decision?

Jury's still out on that one.

Who knew I was going out with such a swot?

You do know you're only onboard for today

because of the lack of another suitable candidate?

-My hands are tied.

-Just how I like them.

What have I created?

You are not taking credit for this.

Don't tell me you're wearing that at work now?

-I forgot I had it on.

-Liar.

Well, today was becoming a really bad day.

I woke up with a stonking hangover and Jasmine was your assistant.

I just wanted to get through the day in one piece.

And then I put this on and...

I don't know.

Like a good-luck charm?

Well, my hangover has now gone,

Jasmine is otherwise engaged

and I get to spend the day working with you.

So it's gone from a bad day to a good day.

-You're not wearing that in theatre.

-It'll be in my pocket.

No, it's not coming in at all.

I'm upholding a very high set of standards for this trial.

Fine.

This doesn't make any sense.

He doesn't have a very detailed patient history at all.

Well, looks about right for a benign tumour to me.

Benign?

I thought you'd read his notes?

The previous tumour was non-malignant.

Yeah, but his mate said that...

You're just going to leave it there?

You're not critically ill, Miss Wilson.

The risks of surgery far outweigh any improvements

we can make to your quality of life.

-Is she telling the truth?

-I'm just here to observe.

Well, this has been a waste of time.

If you hold my name in such high regard, then trust my decision.

OK, so you give me more meds. What if I don't take them?

I'll just end up back in here every week, anyway.

-There's another option.

-Mr Rossini?!

-I'm listening.

The cyst is on the right ventricular outflow track.

We aspirate and peel off from the right ventricle.

If we preserve the heart muscle, heart failure will not be a problem.

And if you excise the muscle wall?

As with a Tetralogy of Fallot, we put a pericardial patch on the RVOT.

A patch that large will cause heart failure.

Congratulations, you've just killed our patient(!)

I'm a glass half-full kind of man.

Sold. Where do I sign?

You don't get to decide what treatment you have!

But I can decide WHO treats me.

Piacere di conoscerti.

Piacere e mio.

I know it looks dishonest, but you don't have any of the facts.

Should I just file that under Please Don't Ruin My Trial?

Please tell me I can trust you. I've got to go brief the web team.

Yes, yes, you can trust me. I'm not an idiot.

I'll talk to my boss, see if I can get more time off.

You don't have to do that.

Mate, you could barely make a brew last time.

Sorry to interrupt you, guys.

David, may I ask you a few questions about your previous treatment?

All right, OK.

So, after the tumour was removed,

you underwent chemotherapy and radiotherapy, yes?

-Correct.

-OK. And what kind of chemotherapy was that?

BEP. Bleomycin, etoposide and cisplatin.

I know what that is. Thank you.

I'm really sorry. Paul, do you mind just giving us a few minutes?

Do have any idea how many people walk through these doors

each and every day, never to leave again because of cancer?

How many cups of tea I've made for relatives sitting here,

having to accept that their loved ones are living on borrowed time?

All right, keep it down.

You've been lying to your best mate for three years.

Yeah, and now I'm paying for it, aren't I?

Ah, well, poor you(!) The little boy who cried cancer.

You can't make me feel any worse than I already do.

You want a bet?

When I got the all-clear, he was the first person I saw.

He saw my face, assumed the worst...

..and I never corrected him.

Lying by omission is still lying.

It was a difficult time.

My girlfriend left me, I'd been made redundant.

And now three years on, the girl is gone, you've got a nice cushy job

but you're still taking your mate for a mug.

You can't tell him!

Patient confidentiality!

I know my rights!

So, exposure to animals...

My parents. They live on a farm by the Brecon Beacons.

-And when were you last there?

-About seven, eight years ago.

You haven't been home since?

It's not my home.

I should be clear, Ms Naylor was not wrong when she spoke of risks.

The cyst is built from your own tissue and larval origin.

Full of fluid. If it bursts, the parasite will spread.

Just get it out. That was the deal.

Can I just ask, why such determination?

The cyst is growing at less than one centimetre in diameter a year.

It's not like you don't have the time to consider other options.

I have a parasite living inside my heart.

I'll take the risk. Thanks.

SHE SIGHS

Oh!

-Everything all right?

-It's fine!

Only I think you've got steam coming out your ears.

It's just this useless piece of...

He's just seeing what he can get away with.

Give him two weeks and he'll be signed up to the Cult of Jac Naylor.

-This is why I hate locums.

-So, what are you doing?

A search to see if he's leading a double life as a serial killer?

-Maybe.

-Whilst he's out there taking patients off you.

That's not the Jac I know.

JAC SIGHS

Matteo Rossini. I knew it!

He's the one who stole the Digby stent.

Oh, he's finished.

-Where is it?

-What?

Arthur's medal. I hung it up in here.

-Well, it can't have gone far.

-I'm going to need to find it.

We're on in 20 minutes, it'll have to wait. Dom!

Argh!

You like what you do?

It is what I live for.

I always liked taking things apart, just to see how they ticked.

It is so much more than seeing how things tick.

Have you ever seen a heartbeat, Miss Wilson?

Not in real life.

Waves spread from the base to apex.

It is dynamic, intrinsic,

clear and beautiful.

The rhythm of the engine of life.

Mr Rossini?

Excuse me.

Oh! Sorry.

Thanks.

While I'd be happy to let you make a huge mistake on your first day,

believe it or not, I don't enjoy seeing patients die unnecessarily.

We need governance lead. Ric can sign off.

-But I have her full consent.

-Yes, but you don't have mine.

Trust me, Ric will appreciate

a less cavalier attitude towards patient safety.

And now you have my back?

I haven't fallen for your charms, if that's what you're thinking.

He's expecting us.

Maybe try for a more low-key entrance than this morning.

Zosh! Hey!

Ah! Aren't you a little old to be getting drunk on a school night?

Seven missed calls. Seven!

Yes. Huh!

-What's up with you?

-I've lost Arthur's medal.

-You brought it to work?

-Yes. I don't need a lecture.

-How could you be so careless?

-This sounds like a lecture.

Look, would you just please help me find it?

No, I can't. A new locum started today.

Jac just sent me that.

-Cute.

-Look at who he's with.

Oh!

Yeah. He's the one who patented the tech for the Digby stent.

Well, enjoy those particular fireworks.

-Can you find that medal?

-Yes.

Ms Naylor tells me we've already reached an impasse,

and much sooner than I had expected. Not even lunchtime.

A difference of opinion.

-Of course, I hugely respect Mrs Naylor's...

-Miss!

Sorry. Sometimes I forget you are single.

..Miss Naylor's approach, but I believe there to be an alternative.

If the patient has given consent,

then I don't see why we shouldn't proceed.

-Excuse me?

-We've identified the cyst,

it has the potential to grow and cause problems.

Why not act now?

Expanding the RVOT for the Tetralogy of Fallot

will give her a good chance.

Perhaps you'd like to watch.

That may not be such a bad idea. It may help you understand

Ms Naylor's decision-making as clinical lead.

Oh, I'll be watching.

I've been trying to put my finger on it.

You are the spit of this lad I went to school with.

-Handsome lad, was he?

-Oh, very much so.

Shall I give you two a minute?

Craig Miles, his name was. Lovely boy.

He had the bluest blue eyes.

-You called your husband yet?

-No point.

He'll be propping up the bar by now, no doubt.

Bit early to be in the pub.

Wild horses wouldn't keep him from that place.

Literally, come to think of it.

Jenny, good news. Your CT has come back clear.

You were sent to the acute stroke centre last time you were admitted.

They said I'd made a great recovery.

-And were prescribed warfarin?

-Mm-hm.

-You've been keeping up with the dosages, I trust.

-Of course.

Then I think we can rule out a second stroke.

We'll keep you under observation for a few more hours,

-until your nosebleed settles, all right?

-Mm-hm.

-Good.

Mum?

Keep calling me Mum, I'll tell everyone

-how old you were when you stopped wetting the bed.

-Ouch!

-Mm.

-Are you sure it's not worth checking her vision?

A couple of things, they just don't seem right.

Cameron, we've been through this.

Any neuro problems would have shown up on the CT.

-Ms Campbell? Have you got a moment?

-Of course.

I'd like to order Mrs Osborne an MRI.

On a whim, or for a particular reason?

I think she may have some kind of neuro injury

-that wasn't picked up on the CT.

-Such as...?

I don't know. It's just the way she looks at people.

She tried to use her phone earlier, but she couldn't.

Right, and you've run this past Ms Wolfe?

Because I really don't want to get in the middle of a family dispute.

It's a bit late for that.

Careful.

Sorry.

It's just she'll shoot me down in seconds.

Well, as your superior, I can't ignore your concerns,

so, yep, leave it with me.

-MATTEO APPLAUDS

-Bravo!

What is it? Do I threaten you? Frustrate you?

It's not nice when someone passes off your work as their own.

Looks like a swanky do.

It was Paris, not Berlin.

Guy did mention I should keep our acquaintance private.

Make a career out of plagiarism?

The tech for the stent you passed off as your own, that was mine!

That was not how the information was presented to me.

What is your big head compensating for?

-Are you calling me a liar?

-No! That would be an insult to liars!

To have the audacity to walk into my department after what you did?!

I could have your contract terminated right here, right now.

Then why don't you?

I told you, I did not know.

Let me check if I care. No!

Such petulance. You surprise me.

I'm full of surprises.

It's just a shame you're not going to be around to see them.

We will look for it after the shift.

So, this will sort him out, will it? He'll be all clear?

The thyroidectomy should remove most of the cancerous cells.

-And how long will he be out of action for?

-Depends on his recovery,

-but I'd recommend at least six weeks off work.

-Every cloud.

You can do one if you think I'm spotting your rent again, though.

I've got that covered, don't worry.

How long did you have off last time, David?

It was about four, five months, wasn't it?

And you covered his rent for him?

I helped him out. It's what mates do, innit?

Yeah.

You need to tell him.

Dr Copeland?

-Tell me what?

-The truth.

You're not allowed to do this.

I'd think very carefully before you proceed.

What the hell's going on?

David's tumour was benign.

The cancer that you nursed him through?

I've had more toxic cocktails.

Is this true?

I will still be there, but only to watch.

-Is there a particular reason?

-Mainly one.

You don't seem too disappointed.

I hear Ms Naylor is very capable.

So they tell me. Excuse me.

Must look like we don't know what we're doing.

Good job I do. I made sure I got what I wanted.

I get the operation I want with the surgeon I chose.

How do you figure that?

Hm! Surgeons lead a life of such vanity.

There's no way she'd let him do this surgery over her.

Why so set on Jac in the first place?

She's the most competent surgeon I could find.

But you didn't know you needed surgery until this morning.

Ah!

He's refusing the operation.

Great(!) As if today needed any more bad omens.

What are you talking about?

The inspirational young guy who's fighting cancer

turns out to be a sadistic liar,

the doctor who shafted Darwin for the Digby stent is in the building

and now I've lost Arthur's medal.

There's a therapist out there who would kill to write a paper on you.

Aw, thanks, babe(!)

The new consultant arriving, coincidence.

David lying about having cancer, the human condition.

And you breaking patient confidentiality,

a blatant attempt at self-sabotage!

I don't need you to psychoanalyse me, thank you!

Arthur gave you that medal to remember him by.

How do you think he'd feel if he knew it'd come to symbolise

your own self-destruction?

It's time to move on, Dom.

I need you to fix this.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Comfortable?

Miss Wilson, she knew she had hydatid disease.

I know. I saw her old notes.

And you didn't think to say anything?

I didn't care.

You know I know your father?

Yes, I did hear that.

He is a good man.

Debateable.

He told me about you. The mountains you've had to climb.

Yes, well, he shouldn't have.

He spoke very highly of you, Zosia.

He's a very proud dad.

You can't say I didn't warn you, about Jac.

She puts up a good fight.

Why is everyone so scared of her?

She's been around a long time. Outlived them all.

Elliot Hope, Connie Beauchamp, my dad.

It gives her some status.

I guess you have to be a psychopath to survive around here.

A clear lack of remorse.

Manipulative, superficial charm.

You shouldn't speak about your boss like that.

I'm not talking about Ms Naylor.

An MRI scan is an expensive and frivolous waste of resources.

What was it you said, question every decision you make?

Yes! Yes! Question every decision you make, not every decision I make!

This is typical of you, Cameron.

-Sorry to interrupt.

-Oh, no, no, by all means.

You two clearly have quite the working relationship.

Well, it turns out Cameron's fears may not be completely unfounded.

As you can see, there's significant damage to the occipital cortex.

I don't understand. This doesn't make sense.

That's what I thought.

David, a lot of planning has gone into this.

You need to be thinking rationally.

I am. For the first time in years.

It's like my nan used to say, the best pillow is a clear conscience.

I'm glad someone could sleep easily.

That's not what I meant.

I don't want to hear it.

Just...let these gents get on with sorting you out,

free up a bed for the more deserving.

Will you be here, when I wake up?

Good luck with it, mate.

You OK?

Yeah, I think so.

I was talking to David.

-Yeah.

-Dr Copeland, find a porter to take the patient through to theatre.

Let's get this show on the road.

She wanted you as her surgeon before she even knew she needed surgery.

She's received treatment at four different hospitals over two years.

And repeated psychiatric treatment.

She's a psychopath.

I won't be manipulated into surgery.

Three referrals not enough for you?

I'm entitled to a fourth opinion.

I'll leave you in Mr Rossini's assuredly less-capable hands.

You already knew, didn't you?

Your life story is of no interest to me.

I prefer sociopath.

It's Less Norman Bates-y.

How long have you known?

All my life.

But if you're asking when I got the diagnosis, about ten years ago.

That must have been hard to hear.

It was liberating. I wasn't choosing to behave how I do,

my condition just gives me a bigger range of choices

than a neurotypical human.

Through manipulating others?

Some people play sports, I play people.

My name is Mr Mayfield, and today,

I will be performing a total thyroidectomy

on the patient, Mr David Jakeman.

Anticipated critical events are limited,

and include injury to the recurrent laryngeal nerve,

or bleeding around the neck.

The surgery should last about an hour.

Right, let's get started. Scalpel.

I will be using a bipolar diathermy to remove the thyroid.

A current passes through the instrument only,

minimising any spread to surrounding structures.

Hm!

Oh. Sorry. Sorry.

I mean, seriously, who would steal someone's grapes?

I mean, you come into work and someone nicks your fruit!

It's not what you want, is it, Mr Griffin?

No.

Do you have a moment?

Oh. Yeah, sure.

I've been hearing good things about you today from the F1s.

I promise, I didn't pay them.

How would you feel about applying for the position

of departmental foundation doctor representative?

Wow!

I don't know, I mean, do you think I'd be any good at it?

I wouldn't be asking if I didn't.

Your INR is normal.

Jenny, you haven't been taking your warfarin, have you?

I kept bruising when I was riding.

Failure to take the medicine

increases the risk of a secondary stroke.

What's all this got to do with my eyes?

Cameron, do you want to explain?

Yeah, sure.

Um...Mrs Osborne, we think you may have suffered

a second stroke sometime after you were discharged.

Surely I would have known.

Not necessarily.

They're called incidental strokes.

They can pass largely unnoticed.

A blood clot has travelled from your heart to the back of your brain.

Now, it wasn't large enough to cause a major stroke,

but the reduced blood flow to your occipital lobe has caused damage.

Irreparable damage.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, what does all this mean?

Mrs Osborne, can you take the pen torch out of my hand?

What torch?

I'm not holding one.

We think you may be suffering from a rare neurological condition

known as Anton-Babinski syndrome.

It occurs in patients such as yourself, where,

despite irrefutable cortical blindness,

the patient insists they can see.

I'm blind?

Mm. We think you have been for a few days.

But I can see. I can see perfectly.

What you're seeing are confabulations.

You saw the torch because I told you there was a torch.

When the eyes stop relaying images,

the brain relies on the other senses to piece everything together.

How can I live at home for a week and not realise I was blind?

Or get on a bloody horse?

You know your own home.

You could see because you know where everything is.

I presume you're used to getting up in the dark?

Yes.

And you had some help getting on your horse this morning?

I'm sorry it's not better news.

I think I'd like a moment, please.

On my own.

Yes. Yes, of course.

I have to say, Cam...I'm impressed.

It was just a hunch.

You were right.

That's what matters.

And I'm sorry for doubting you.

High praise indeed.

Is it too much to say that I told you so?

No, don't push your luck.

-How do you think it went?

-Hm! Perfect.

I'm really sorry for how I was acting earlier.

Well, we might need the crash trolley.

That's the second apology I've had from you today.

I'm trying to be humble, you could at least try to not be unbearable.

Only if you admit you didn't need the medal.

Fine. But I'm not saying the words, "You were right".

How about now?

This sight, it will never stop taking my breath away.

-Do you mind?

-Yes!

Diggers and I used to sit here.

I don't do shoulders to cry on.

If you want to off-load, write a blog or something.

Zosia told me about your new guy.

You know what they say, keep your friends close, keep your enemies...

Locked in the boot of your car.

DOM CHUCKLES

I thought it was a sign.

What?

I lost Arthur's medal today.

Well, I didn't lose it, Isaac hid it from me.

This story doesn't sound like it's going to interest me.

Wrap it up, Copeland.

Well...he mocked me.

The medal gives me comfort, and he mocked me for it.

Attributing luck or comfort to an inanimate object

should be restricted to teenage girls practising Wicca,

or gambling addicts. Mr Mayfield is right.

You really don't do shoulders to cry on, do you?

If you weren't as self-absorbed as a sponge,

you might see that he was trying to help you.

-Are we done?

-Yeah.

HORSE WHINNIES

DOM CHUCKLES

Aorta clamped. Scalpel, please.

So she's a psychopath. Should fit in perfectly around here.

To not experience empathy or morality.

To be free of irrational emotions.

She was right, it must be liberating.

Aspirating the cyst of larva fluid.

Saline.

Dissecting around the cyst.

The wall is very thin. Wish we had a cryo.

-It's perforated.

-It's OK, the swabs will get it.

She could become anaphylactic.

We finish extracting the main cyst, then we clean up the rest.

Right, we need to page Jac.

Why? Does she have your nuts in her purse?

We can do this.

I think we're good. Sats are fine.

-MOCKS OLLIE:

-"Call Jac, call Jac!"

The patient could have died.

But she didn't. We've got this.

So you don't look like Craig Miles.

I might sound like him.

All of us here, we are an amalgamation of accents,

smells, doctors you've had treat you in the past.

So, nothing that I see is real?

Well, no, I wouldn't say it was like that.

I mean, it seems to me that you're...

Well, you're quite literally seeing your memories.

You know, so it's not made up,

it's just your own interpretation of the world.

My husband. He isn't coming.

Still in the pub?

Still in Spain with one of the riding instructors.

It's funny.

Took me going blind

to make me realise I won't be seeing him again.

Or, look at it this way.

It took you going blind to realise

you didn't need him in the first place.

Maybe you're right.

Surgery went well.

He should be awake soon.

Two weeks after he told me, I got this phone call.

Job offer down in Bournemouth.

Lifeguard on the beach.

The Magaluf of the British coast, apparently.

Proper dream job.

-Sounds perfect.

-I turned it down, didn't I?

Couldn't leave him.

-I'm not going to defend him.

-Good.

He did say that his girlfriend had just left him.

The first time.

Alexa, yeah.

He was, like, obsessed.

People do crazy things when they're heartbroken.

Seems to be the only time in life

where it's perfectly acceptable to just act completely crazy.

THIS is acceptable?

No, no. Not at all.

But I do understand it.

He might have been lying then.

But he does have cancer now.

Could say he deserves it.

Yeah, you could. You absolutely could.

But speaking from experience...

..I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

You didn't kill me, then.

Quite the contrary. Your heart is once again unblemished.

One moment.

So why did you never go home?

It's personal.

Indulge me.

The last time that I went home...

..my parents were fussing over their old sheepdog.

Long past retirement.

A bag of bones.

So don't tell me, you felt empathy.

I killed it.

The dog was old,

and my parents were too sentimental to do what needed doing.

Well, I can see why they didn't stay in touch.

SHE SNORTS WITH LAUGHTER

Please. That choice was all mine.

Now, how about we discuss

your unresolved daddy issues?

They're all resolved, actually.

Nothing you can say can make me feel any worse than I already do.

I'll come back when you're out of isolation.

Here, you can keep this and all.

Why are you being so nice to me?

I'm moving out.

Your friend's just been through some pretty intensive surgery.

It's not advisable he's left to fend for himself.

You don't have to do that.

I've called my parents.

Time for them to share some of the burden.

Right, let's get you upstairs.

I think I owe you an apology.

Peace offering?

I only accept cold, hard cash as an apology.

Look, I may have possibly overreacted slightly today

about the whole medal thing.

Are you being serious?

It has been said very occasionally

that I am prone to blowing things out of proportion.

A drama queen, some might say?

No. No-one's ever said that.

Proper drink? You're on baby-sitting duties because I am celebrating.

And if you want to bring your medal, then fine,

but try not to convince people you fought in Afghanistan this time.

Pretty sure impersonating a serviceman is illegal.

You don't normally complain.

THEY LAUGH

SHE MOANS IN PAIN

SHE GROANS

I could have managed.

Do you feel any different?

I'm content knowing it's no longer there.

So you're going to stick around here then?

Any reason why I shouldn't?

Mainly one.

Would that be how you dealt with it?

-By running away?

-No.

But you're not like me.

Do you feel ashamed? That you lost at your own game?

I got the surgery that I wanted.

Sounds like a win to me.

But not in the manner of your choosing. You wanted Ms Naylor...

I'd like to rest now.

Or how about this?

I performed the surgery I wanted, on the patient I chose,

asserting my presence in the department

and making some allies along the way.

And yet you still think you manipulated me.

Perhaps I am a lot like you.

Enjoy your victory.

So...

Orange Is The New Black?

Didn't have you down as a fashion guru.

No, no, it's a TV series. It's about lesbi...

About female prisoners.

Is that my speciality now?

Sorry.

Just trying to get to know you.

Not great at icebreakers.

No. I'll go and wait with your mother.

Oh, and for your information,

I binge-watched the entire boxset in three days.

Icebreakers are my speciality.

Heard you were here now.

I'm drowning my sorrows, what about you?

Your sorrows? Just be thankful you don't have to work with your mother.

My sister is director of cardiothoracic surgery.

And today I missed out on a live stream of a thyroidectomy.

You win. You want one?

No, this round is on Mr Levy.

But you can get the next one, though.

You should probably get back to Ms Wolfe. Mummy's boy.

I think that's the first time you've ever bought me a drink.

First day for everything.

Your mum was just saying how nice it was to work alongside you today.

I did. I underestimated you.

Well, two compliments in one day! Cheers.

Cheers.

Oh, I know there's a vodka in that Coke.

If you want to make it this time, you can't be drinking every night.

No more distractions.

CORK POPS

E viva!

ALL: Cheers!

You know, it is superstition that if you don't make eye contact

when you say cheers, you will have seven years of bad sex.

Every day's a school day.

Excuse me.

It's the end of the day. I'm going home.

Thank you. For letting me do the operation.

I hope we can continue working together.

CT funding is hard to come by.

I wouldn't have been doing myself any favours by putting my dislike

of your grating personality above your skills as a clinician.

Look, I am an ass. But so are you.

Good night, Mr Rossini.

Cards on the table. I guessed Guy's offer was disingenuous.

But if you were in the same boat, wouldn't you have done the same?

I guess you'll never know.

How was I to know fate would bring us together so soon?

Are you drunk?

The universe works in mysterious ways, Ms Naylor.

Well, the universe has its eye on you.

Good!

Let me know if it sees anything out of the ordinary.

Hello, you.

HORSE WHINNIES

I think I'm going to like it here.

Let's get you back home.