31/01/2017 River City

A couple of months ago, I saw them kissing.

I should have let you die when I had the chance.

Things have got a wee bit vanilla.

What happened to your date with Robbie?

-Looks like he made other plans.

-Aw, there she is, the home-wrecker.

-I can explain.

-You've been playing about with that tramp?!

What's going on with you, Pete? You're not yourself.

-I'm moving to America.

-What?

-Everyone cheats.

-Drew wouldn't cheat.

Jimmy owed some guys money. They want £1,000 a week, every week.

I know it's wrong.

As soon as there's enough food in that fridge, I will stop.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

ENGINE PURRS

CAR LOCK BEEPS

-Delivery for Mullen.

-Oh!

Pete, you scared the...

Just leave it there, and shut the door on your way out.

Are you moving premises, Captain?

No. I'm jumping ship. I'm done with this.

What? Why? We're on to a good thing here, Scarlett.

I've got debts to clear, and they'll be finished tomorrow,

and so will I.

Don't be daft. This is easy cash!

Easy? My nerves are shattered here.

I'm dancing at my own shadow.

You can't just give up. We've only just started.

There is no "we". This, us, it's over.

What are you going to do with the rest of the plants, get rid of them?

I'll deal with it.

Scarlett, you need to rethink this.

Are you still here?

SCARLETT SIGHS

OPERATIC SINGING FROM TV

'Round one...'

'Is that all the...?'

Are you coming to bed?

Aye, I'll come through once this is finished.

You're avoiding me.

Eh? What makes you say that?

At night, in bed.

You've been like this for weeks...

-What's wrong with us?

-Hey. Come on now...

You know I love you, don't you?

Yeah, but...

But nothing.

Look, that whole STI thing, it was a blip.

The doctor said it herself, we're fine.

We are fine, aren't we?

Yeah. Fine.

I'm just being daft.

Don't stay up too late, yeah?

TV: '..in water, for an unprecedented feat.

'He was the most powerful man in the world,

'yet, ironically...'

DOOR OPENS

Pete, I telt you...

This isnae what it looks like.

Really? Because from here, it looks like you're dealing.

I did wonder what Pete saw in you.

It makes sense now - quick and easy cash flow.

Caitlin, I was backed into a corner with this.

Jimmy had left me in all this debt.

I mean, the shop was going under. I didnae know what else to do.

You walking about here, looking at me like I'm scum,

and all the time you're doing this!

Haw! Gonnae calm it.

You're gonnae wake the whole street.

I found my Drew with a bag of this.

He told me it was his, but he was trying to cover for his da.

I never realised he was covering for you, too.

Drew wouldn't have known -

I made Pete promise not to say to anybody.

How would you feel if your boys had got involved in all this?

Caitlin, I know we've never been pals,

but my boys just cannae find out about this.

I mean, Patrick's got his trial coming up,

and Bubba's still serving his Community Payback...

You want to protect your family. I get it. I'm the very same.

Exactly.

I've got Jenny at uni, working two jobs just to get herself by,

and I'm waiting on finding out if the wee man's going

halfway across the world to kick a ball about a field,

and Ruby Tuesday's all about the designer gear for school.

I know what it's like. Money's tight for us all.

What are you doing?

You said that money was tight,

and I'm saying it doesnae need to be,

but we'll just keep this between ourselves.

You think I want your drug money?

-I thought you were...

-What? You thought I was blackmailing you?

What do you take me for?

I don't need anything from the likes of you.

I didnae say you did, but...

But nothing. Keep your cash.

The likes of you disgust me.

Caitlin, promise me you're no' gonnae to tell this to anybody.

Caitlin, please! Don't say to anybody.

Oh...

If you're too ill for school, you're too ill to be up and walking around.

Well, I was hoping to have a lie-in, but that seems impossible.

You're not leaving this house, Frankie.

What? Are you going to stop me?

Shame you never managed with Dad.

Morning, all.

Ah...

Cheer up! It might never happen.

It already has.

I'm going to go get ready.

Do you want some?

What did you have in mind?

Coffee.

You know, you could trade her in for the younger model.

What do you think you're doing?

Do you want a picture drawn for you?

This isn't happening.

Yet.

Frankie, you're a kid.

I'm 17.

And old enough to know better.

-Young enough not to care.

-Oh!

-Enough of the games.

-DOOR OPENS

Is everything all right in here?

I was just asking Andy if he was my new dad.

ENGINE RUMBLES

I counted it myself - it's all there.

That's us done. That's the last of Jimmy's debt.

-ENGINE PURRS

-Aye, you're welcome.

PHONE CHIMES

DOOR OPENS

DOOR SLAMS AND FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

Where is everybody?

Bob's gone to work and Patrick's still sleeping.

Right.

Why are you no' wearing your school uniform?

It's a dress-down day, for charity.

Right, well, put that phone down.

Away and get your bag and your jacket.

H-h-hold up, Lady Jane.

-What's that on your feet?

-Shoes.

Aye, but whose?

Mine.

They're no' yours. Where did you get them from?

Uncle Lenny bought me them.

Oh, did he now? Ah, well, you can get them off your feet right now!

-Why?

-Madonna, we're no' having this argument this morning.

Away and change!

SCARLETT SIGHS

Well, hurry up and open it!

Sorry. When you're ready.

So, what does it say?

I got in.

-Oh, I knew you would do it!

-Oh, Drew, I'm so proud of you!

My wee nephew going to play for...

What even are the football teams in America?

He'll be playing for Scotland, eventually.

Well, it's an academy, so it doesn't really...

I'm so proud of you.

Oh, we all are.

So, when do you go?

It says here next week.

Eh? That soon?

Well, eh, that's, erm...

That's amazing.

Aye, that's amazing.

Oh, I'm so proud of you.

Ruby, what have you got to say to your brother?

Can I have your room?

SHE HUMS A JOLLY TUNE

Ah! Thief! Thief!

-Don't worry, love, I'll get it.

-Did nobody see that?

Some wee toerag just grabbed my bag!

Are you all right, love?

Never felt better!

Let's get you a coffee. You look like you're in shock.

Oh, yes, I am.

-Bye, Mum.

-Bye, darling. Have a good day.

Madonna! For the fifth time this morning, will you hurry up!

Do you mind keeping the noise levels down?

Some of us don't care to hear every Mullen crisis screamed at the

top of your lungs every morning.

Aye, and some of us would do well to just...

Would do well to keep their trap shut, wouldn't they?

Is everything all right?

Aye. Couldnae be better.

Just chatting with my wee pal here.

You know what I'm like, Ellie.

I could dae it all day.

Blab, blab, blab, blab.

Madonna! Gonnae you hurry up?!

I've been attacked, assaulted, in broad daylight!

My handbag ripped out my hand by an artful dodger in a tracksuit!

Are you all right?

Nae thanks to you, son.

It was lucky my wee pal, Louie, was here to help me,

while you were sitting in here glugging on your latte.

Are you needing a wee coffee, Molly? My shout.

Yes, and if you've any brandy, son, stick a wee half in it.

My nerves are shot to next Sunday.

-Eh, thanks for helping my gran, mate.

-Pleasure.

Gran?

Don't believe him. I'm only 22.

Do you want a coffee?

On the house.

I'd rather it in a cup.

Anyways, I haven't got time. Job interview.

Could anyone tell me the way to Montenegro Motors?

MOLLY LAUGHS

Madonna! You're gonnae ruin them.

They're already ruined. I want to wear my new ones to school.

I've already told you, they're going back.

But Uncle Lenny said...

He's no' your uncle!

-Is everything OK?

-Oh, aye.

Just the usual early-morning skip down the yellow brick road(!)

Madonna!

School run. Never gets any easier...

Aye. Didn't your first one go to boarding school?

See, Katie's got her good shoes on.

Oh, well, that's good for Katie.

See if this is her at ten,

I'm dreading what she's gonnae be like at 15.

Oh, don't. I can't even imagine.

Hey, Scarlett, while I've got you here,

I was going to come by later, but...

you don't have any jobs going in the shop for Frankie?

Evenings or weekends? Or even just a couple of hours?

Eh, well, I couldnae really afford any more...

She'll work for minimum wage, honestly,

or pay her in chocolate or magazines,

just anything to keep her focused.

I'd really love to, but I just don't have enough...

Work going.

Don't worry. I get it.

Aye. Sorry.

Madonna!

I'm just showing Katie them.

Don't you think you can show off in front of your wee pal!

Get them back in the bag.

Fine, I'll just go to school looking like a tramp, then!

Don't you dare talk to me like that!

-How about I take Madonna in to school today?

-No. There's nae need.

I'd rather go with her than you.

Eh, her's got a name. Sorry about that, Lorna.

It's no problem. I'm taking Katie anyway.

Come on, terrible twosome.

Aye, right, thanks.

Whoever invented Non-Uniform Day should be shot.

Aye. They should.

I'll see you later, Scarlett.

Aye.

It's lovely to have you with us, Madonna...

I need to ask, have you got a CV?

Clean as a whistle, mate. I got the full bhuna last month.

No, your CV, as in the places you've been.

Ah, all over.

Arran. Berwick.

Ayia Napa -

three seasons there in the summer entertainment team.

Sorry, what's that?

Well, it's just a fancy way of saying that

you get drunk every night and let girls drink vodka jelly shots

off your belly button.

No, I meant the garages that you've worked in.

Oh, I see.

Well, you should've said.

Right, well, thanks for coming anyway. I'll let you know.

The car.

What?

What's wrong with it?

Eh, I cannae say at the minute.

I've got to do a diagnostic check on it.

I bet I can fix it, without doing any of that techie nonsense.

Trust me. I'll have it purring in no time.

Honestly, mate, I've got other folk I need to...

When I'm done with it, it'll be like the cat that's got the dream.

Cream.

Yeah, well, that would make sense(!)

So, are you ready?

Kinda.

Have you been taking your painkillers?

HE SIGHS Since when do you care what I do or don't do?

BUZZER

Right.

Right, well, I'll leave you two to it.

See if you can talk some sense into him.

Sense? That'd be a first.

Remember, no alcohol with those.

Yeah, that'll happen(!)

Well, look who it is - the bold yin.

"It was Miss Scarlett that done it, Officer, with the revolver

"in the taxi office." DOOR CLOSES

What's the matter, hen?

You seem nervous.

I'm fine.

You can save the sympathetic face - you're no' that good an actor,

and I know you're just gutted you didnae have the nerve to do it.

Look, I was bealing that night, but I wouldnae have done that to you.

That gun went off in my hand. It was an accident and you know that.

What are you here for?

Well, your money...

as promised.

What money?

Cut the amnesia act.

You might fool that lot, but you're no' fooling me.

I'm guessing you've got some leftover stock...

That's your debt paid.

The rest of it?

Pure profit.

No, Lenny. I cannae do this, it's not me.

Come on, don't tell me you won't miss the thrill. Hmm?

There's nothing quite like it,

although I do hear that stock-taking in the one-stop shop

comes a close second.

Nah, the truth is, the fear,

the feeling you're better than the rest of them,

that's what gives you the buzz.

Everything I did, I did out of necessity, nothing else,

and the next time Madonna wants shoes,

or a watch or a phone or anything, I'll buy it for her,

no' you.

If you could afford to buy it for her, she wouldnae need to ask me.

One celebratory float for Striker McLean.

A bunch of uneducated Neanderthals kicking a ball about a field -

it's hardly a talent.

It was a joke.

Thanks, AJ.

Well, make sure you remember us when you're earning top dollar.

Yeah, like that'll happen. He'll be gone and we'll be all but forgotten.

And when did you become such a cynical Sally?

I went to boarding school, remember?

I know what I'm talking about - out of sight, out of mind.

You know, standing there breathing down our necks

is kind of creepy, Uncle AJ.

I'm waiting for the cash.

Erm...

You said it was your treat?

Fine. I'll... I'll pay for these next week, yeah?

Fine, but this is the last time.

Of course.

Oh, and while you're on your feet, I'll have a Coke.

Anything else?

One for Jules too.

So, what are we doing tonight?

We were just going to have a night in, and watch a movie.

Brilliant. What time?

Eh, about...

Well, we were sort of just hoping it was...

Oh, right.

Sorry, erm...

You just want it to be the two of you.

I'm sorry. I didn't... I didn't know.

Babes, what's wrong?

It's nothing.

Come on. What's wrong?

It's Mum. She, erm...

She let Andy sleep over again last night.

How's that...?

Sleeping with her.

Oh.

Babes, I didn't know.

I should've guessed, you know. It's... It's inevitable.

Dad's a million miles away, and she's stuck here, bored,

needing attention.

Oh...

I don't know what to say.

I just... I can't bear to be in that house,

you know, just watching them all over each other.

It's disgusting.

You don't have to be. Just come over and join us tonight.

The last thing you need is me being there, being the third wheel.

We want you there.

Don't we, Drew?

I... Aye. Of course.

I'm no' a drug dealer, Lenny.

I've got a pretty good idea how much you've got left over there,

and you might just be daft enough to throw away that money,

so I'm going to offer you...

a cut.

Now, this...

this'll be pure profit.

Of course, it's taking Sideburns out of the equation,

cos he's surplus to requirements.

Scarlett, one way or another,

my boys are coming over there the night to collect that gear.

You can either be at the door, let them in and get hee-haw,

or you can have it bagged and ready,

like the good employee I know you can be.

Souls have been bought for a lot less.

No' mine.

That's what they all say, at first.

SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH

Oh, Jesus.

DOOR OPENS

DOOR SLAMS

OK, baby, speak to your daddy...

ENGINE PURRS

Oh, yes, baby.

Daddy loves you too.

Sometimes you've just got to show them a little bit of TCP.

So, what do you say?

When can you start?

Get in!

Woo-hoo-hoo!

There you go - like a young Lana Turner.

Hmm, a bit more like Kathleen Turner.

Now, tell the truth -

does Mummy need a little bit of a top up on her Bo-Bo?

You look gorgeous.

Hmm...

Don't you mean "looked"?

Though, still not bad for 56 and three quarters.

Erm...

No point trying to stop it. It always runs away.

What does?

Age. Gravity.

Your dad.

Oh, of course, I should've expected to end up married to a gay man.

I attract them to me. Can't help it.

I'm a gay icon.

I am!

They love me,

with the exception of your Gary...

Be nice.

I am. Though he's as warm as Ryvita...

He's just quiet.

He has hidden depths.

Oh, yeah.

It's the silent types that know how to get a knee trembling

and a brassiere unclipped with one hand.

I don't want to hear about you and Dad, you know.

Oh, I'm not talking about...

Oh, for goodness' sake, Robbie, you don't think your father and I

sailed down the Clyde on a boat marked one-on-one for all eternity?

Do me a favour.

What?

So, all this weeping and wailing over Dad cheating on you,

while all the while you both were...

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

There were a few before him.

Quite a few.

Although your father had more than a few after the vows.

And you never said anything? You never questioned him?

A three-minute thrill with a stranger is hardly the same

as building a life together,

or so I thought.

I wish we'd been open and honest about it now.

Nothing kills an affair quicker than the wife knowing about it.

And what about you? Did you never...?

Do you know what? Don't answer that. I don't even want to know.

Fine, flounce off.

You get that from your father, you know.

-Can I take these roses, please?

-Yep.

-Thank you.

-Thanks.

Aw, you shouldn't have.

They're not for you.

Good. I'd rather have something that lasts a bit longer.

The flat's empty, if you fancy "hanging out".

Why are you unable to understand the word no?

It's a word I never use.

I'd get the lilies. She likes them best.

-Can I swap these for the lilies?

-Yeah, sure.

Hi.

Bob said to tell you that he's going to pay for this "the morra".

Sorry, erm, who are you?

Louie Alexander Vaughn III, the new mechanic.

Oh, right, I'm Scarlett.

Nice to meet you.

So, is Bubba treating you all right over there?

Oh, he's your hubby? I never realised.

No, Bubba.

Yeah, your Hubba Bubba. I get it.

No. I mean Bubba, my wean.

Oh, I thought he said he was called Bob.

He's Wayne? Right.

No, as in my kid. He's my kid.

Oh! That makes a lot more sense actually.

Aye. Right, so are you busy over there?

Nah. If you ask me, I'm a waste of money.

It's right quiet, like a toast town.

Aye, well, here's hoping it picks up then, eh?

Here's hoping. Right, see you later, gator.

See you later.

PHONE RINGS

Eileen?

Aye.

Is everything all right?

So he was sleeping around, the whole time?

35 years!

Can you believe that?

And she let him.

She said her only regret was not being honest!

What is that about?

I'm no' going to lie, but your maw does look like one of they swingers.

It is not funny!

Lighten up.

Out. I've told you, you're no' welcome here when I'm working.

Come on, Caitlin, I'm not here for an argument.

I just want to find out about Drew.

If you'd answered my texts, I wouldn't need to come and ask.

Did he hear about the...?

You gave up the right to knowing what's happening in your son's life

when you started running with every trollop in Shieldinch. Out!

Come on, Caitlin. I just want to...

If you're not buying, you're out.

See, that's the reality of it right there -

running about elsewhere, making an idiot out of you.

I tell you, your maw's got the right idea.

Honesty, straight down the line, no matter what.

Aye, I hear what you're saying Eileen, but...

Aye, that's all good and well but...

Look, I've got to go, I've got customers.

I'll call you back.

Oh, are they for me? Shouldnae have bothered.

Please, take them.

Allergies.

Why did you buy flowers if you...?

Oh, it's a long story.

Are you all right, Scarlett?

Aye. I'm fine, just....

a couple of bumps in the road and that, you know?

Right. That's kind of why I'm here.

Eh?

I'm just a bit worried about Madonna.

Madonna? She's fine.

I mean, she's playing up a wee bit, you know,

with her daddy being away and that,

but you must know what that's like, you know,

bringing up wee lassies yourself.

Yeah, going away with the army isn't the same as being in...

Are you coming round here to judge me?

Cos if you are, you can leave right now.

I've had enough folk today trying to stick their oar in.

Oh, no. Honestly, I'm not. I'm just worried about Madonna.

Scarlett, she was shaking like a leaf

when I took her in to school this morning.

She was at it. She's just wanting a day off school!

It's typical of her. I was the same at that age.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with my daughter.

She's fine.

She's...

Sorry, I'm...

Oh...

Hey, why don't I put the kettle on, eh?

Have a break for five minutes.

Big Issue.

Help the homeless.

Big Issue.

Help the homeless...

BUZZER

THROUGH INTERCOM: Who is it?

Uncle Lenny, it's Madonna.

SHE SIGHS

Ta. Sorry about today.

It's just one of they days, you know?

When you think you've reached the top of the mountain, only to find...

Another mountain. Oh, I know only too well.

I've just got us back on our feet,

and then I get a phone call from my landlord,

saying she wants to sell the house from under us.

She's offered us first refusal,

but that doesnae mean anything, you know,

when you cannae afford the deposit in the first place, so...

I've got three months to move out.

And how long have you lived there?

A good nine, ten years.

And what about your lease? Was it short-term, a year, or...

Oh, two year, but...

But nothing. You've got rights.

She can't just throw you out with a few months' notice.

There's laws to protect you here, Scarlett.

Laws? Oh, legal bills, that's all I need.

Well, let me speak to her.

You?

Yes. Me. I wasn't always the Stepford wife, you know.

I worked.

Criminal law.

Really? A lawyer?

Oh, you were mad to give that up, hen.

Well, I can't go back now.

The starting salary's 20 grand - I'd be paying out more in childcare.

20 grand? For starting up?

Oh, I'd be right in there like a shot.

Says the woman that runs her own business.

Oh, aye.

A failing business.

Don't let anyone ever tell you

that you can make millions from selling bread.

So, what you going to do?

Hide and hope it all goes away?

I thought that's what we were both doing.

You want to tell me why you look like

you've been dragged through a hedge backwards, eh?

Did somebody do that to you?

Dad says we don't grass.

Aye, well... Aye, your dad's right enough,

but, well, since I'm his best pal, I don't think it's the same thing.

Mum told Uncle Bob that you were a bully

and you were not to be trusted.

Well, your mother says a lot of things.

Do you think I'm a bully?

Listen, me and your mum, we're just...

We're different people, eh?

I'm like... I'm like a teacher.

Like Mrs McPhee?

Aye, sort of.

I don't take any snash from anybody.

No nonsense, anybody talking about me, you know?

What does Mrs McPhee do?

She chucks them out of the classroom.

That's exactly what I would do as well. I would deal with it.

But your mother, well, she's kind of different, you know?

She hears somebody talking about her, she thinks,

"Should I say something? Should I not?"

-You know, she's a bit of a...

-She's a bit of a loser.

Hey, hey, hey. Don't you be talking about her like that.

But she is.

She's your mother.

She's trying her best.

She isn't. She doesn't even want me to come and visit you.

She hates me. She's...

Madonna, darling, nobody has anything but love for you.

Your dad, your mum, me...

Sometimes with all that love, people say and do,

well, silly things, but they're only trying to protect you.

Now, are you going to tell me who done this,

and I'll go have a wee word with them, eh?

Madonna! What are you doing here?

-Here she comes.

-Why are you no' at the school?

She was just making her own way home, weren't you?

She was in a bit of a state. I was on my way to bring her to...

Don't you be on your way anywhere with my wee lassie.

She's my daughter. I'll deal with her.

I think the words she was looking for there was "thank you".

Somebody's happy!

Oh, stop it! You crack me up.

Gary, Gary, you have to hear this.

Is this your fella, then?

Yeah. Gary.

Louie.

Oh...

Tell him the one about Butlins.

Well, I was just saying, like, I used to go there when I was a kid,

and I don't think you'd get away with calling it that now.

Sorry, what?

Well, it's right rude, isn't it?

Butt-lands?

Shocking, isn't it?

We need to order some more sweet-potato pie and Pringles...

Are you all right, Caitlin?

Yeah.

It's corny, isn't it?

No, he might like it.

I can't believe that this time next week he'll be gone.

If I start saving now, I reckon I'd have enough to fly out by...

Babe.

Look, I'm not... I'm not trying to be mean,

but are you still pretending like you two are going to work?

We've talked. We'll be fine.

We've agreed we'll phone every day.

Yeah, at first.

Then he'll be too busy, so it'll be every other day,

and before you know it, it'll be birthday cards and the odd text.

Are we talking about Drew here or your dad?

Ouch! Jules, I'm trying to be a friend here.

I trust Drew.

Then you're an idiot.

Could you do it?

What?

An open relationship.

It turns out I already was, only Pete never got permission.

Yeah, but, if he did ask, could you?

Nae danger. I'd claw his eyes out for even asking.

Why? Is there trouble in paradise?

I'm just making conversation.

Right. Well, could you?

Bruce wanted to. I didn't, but...

But what?

Maybe we should've. We worked well, other than that.

I think if I'd let him look elsewhere, we might have lasted.

Worked well? Last of the romantics, aren't you?

I'm just thinking practically.

Anyway, enough about me.

You must be excited for Drew.

Mm-hmm. Excited, scared...

Checking behind the couch for any loose change to cover

how much its going to cost.

I thought it was a scholarship?

It is, but he still needs stuff, like boots, kit...

Well, Pete could help out.

Pete's having nothing more to do with this family.

You probably said that about me once.

Caitlin, don't be too proud to take help. He's his dad.

He'll want to chip in.

-Go and speak to him.

-I don't want him to.

It's not about what you want. It's what Drew needs.

Go ask him. You know I'm right.

-SHOES SCRAPE

-Madonna, I've telt you twice today,

will you stop scuffing they shoes?!

Why not? They're rubbish!

Allie and Ashley in my class said they're knock-off,

said my whole family was nothing but...

What did they say?

Doesn't matter.

Well, it matters enough for you to run away from the school.

Did they lassies do this to you?

No, Mum. You did. You sent me to school like this.

What did you think was going to happen?

I'll talk to your teachers and make sure it doesnae happen again.

It's been going on for weeks and you never even noticed.

All I asked for was a pair of shoes.

Aw, darling, I'm sorry.

Go upstairs to your Uncle Patrick.

Hello!

I hear there's a new hot potato in town,

so I thought should nip over and introductify myself....

That'll be me, love.

Oh.

Suzanna.

Although they insist on referring to me as Suzie around here.

Louie.

So, Louie, what's your take on the new Gaga album?

DOORBELL RINGS

You're hours early.

Couldnae stay away, could you, Jules?

We need to talk.

HE SIGHS

Is everything all right?

No, it's not, Drew.

I feel guilty.

For what?

You know, what we did,

and every time I'm around Jules I just...

I feel terrible about it.

What we did? You kissed me!

That's not the way I remember it.

-DOORBELL RINGS

-That'll be Jules.

She's early.

So were you.

AJ told me the good news.

I made you a cake to celebrate.

I thought you could have a slice with your dad.

I don't have a dad.

Thanks.

Oh, a return to the scene of the crime, is it?

Go inside if you want - I'll show you the bullet marks.

Stay away from Madonna.

She came to me, and you know full well you can trust her with me.

Oh, aye? Like I trusted you with Jimmy? Or Kelly-Marie?

Look, I just came round to tell you, get your guys to come round tonight

and collect everything, all right?

You are an eejit.

You don't see I'm trying to set something up here for wee Madonna?

My Madonna, no' yours. She's nothing to you.

I treat her like one of my own.

One of your own, only she's no'.

Look, Lenny, you've no' exactly been the perfect father,

and you don't get a second chance with Madonna.

Oh, as opposed to you being the perfect mother?

Every time she looks up to you, she looks down her nose at me.

Well, no' any more. If you want to do something for Madonna,

you cut her off completely.

You and me both know that'll break her heart.

Aye, maybe for now it will,

but you know what weans are like -

they forget the folk that don't really matter, quick.

Tell your goons to be at the shed at eight.

MUSIC: Machines by Biffy Clyro

# I would dig 1,000 more if I needed to... #

I saw how you were with him.

Who?

Louie.

Hmm... We're calling him Lulu now.

You lit up.

It was just a bit of harmless flirting with a straight guy.

And you weren't exactly Betty Butch, yourself.

I saw you batting those big doe eyes.

That's my point. Shouldn't we be like that with each other?

What are you saying?

I'm saying, maybe we should be a bit more open...

Open to what?

Other things.

Other...

People?

What do you think?

Boys! Code red.

Repeat - code red.

Is your mother having a meltdown?

No, that's code pink. Code red is a large wine.

No. That's code white.

Code red - entertainment emergency.

You two are having the night off.

Oh, you've both been moping around here,

and I'm sick of it, quite frankly.

You are going to take my new friend out on the town.

The poor wee Dorothy has been lost in the wind around here.

I said, "I know the perfect Scarecrow and Cowardly Lion

"to show you the sights."

Eh, which one am I supposed to be?

Lion. Sorry. Her words, not mine.

What new friend?

Well? The poor boy's gasping for a drink.

What can I get you?

Pete! Pete!

What's this for?

Think of it as a wee redundancy payment.

So, it really is over.

What's wrong?

I know it's daft, but for the first time I felt I was able to

do something for Drew, and now it's back to square one.

Unbelievable! Here I am, on my way over to try and tell you that

your son's for leaving town sooner rather than later,

and you're too busy flirting in the street with this trollop.

-Who are you calling...?

-Is that your drugs money?

Keep your voice down. Did you tell her?

You should know better, running after her like a wee skivvy...

I'm not her skivvy. We're... We're partners in this.

Were partners.

And you're proud of your wee drug-dealing scam

and getting your son to take the flak for it?

He's out. We're done.

I doubt that. That lock-up was full of gear.

-Aye, well, it's getting cleared out tonight.

-I promise.

We both know what that counts for.

The pair of you are lucky I havenae picked up the phone to the polis.

Caitlin, you can't do that.

There's more than just us, there's Madonna, and Drew and...

I'm begging you, Caitlin.

Are you? Doesnae look like it from where I'm standing.

I just need one night to get rid of it all, and I promise it'll be over.

Give me your word that all that goes tonight.

I promise.

No' you. Her!

I swear. We're done. Out.

Good. Make sure it is, and you can shut it as well.

PETE SIGHS

I mean, my da thinks he can just show up whenever he wants,

even though I've told him that he's no'...

Do you think I was a bit hard on him?

No way.

They're all the same - too little, too late.

Here, have another drink.

It'll calm you down.

Two drinks won't kill you.

So, Jules was saying that, you know...

Are you being careful?

Aye, course we are.

Little Drew, all growed up,

not hanging on to his precious V-card.

Shut up!

What did she say about it?

It?

Me. What did she say about me?

Oh. Nothing.

Nothing? No, I know what you two are like - you talk.

No, Jules talks. I listen.

She said it was fine.

Fine?

Is fine good?

Fine, but fumbly.

Fumbly?

Drew, what do you expect?

Neither of you are exactly able to take the lead.

Fumbly?

You'll get better.

You'll learn, you know. It's...

You just need time.

Of course, you only have a week. Shame.

It's inexperience, she'll know that.

You've gone all red.

No, I've no'.

Oh, it's nothing to be embarrassed about.

We're mates.

Tell me what you're thinking.

You could show me.

Louie's not gay, is he?

I mean, surely we'd have picked up on it?

Mum's never wrong.

I mean, she knew I was gay years before I did -

although the re-enacting of Britney videos in the back garden

might have been a giveaway.

It's a bit reductive to say that all gay men give off signals -

offensive, actually.

Plus, she never realised your dad was.

Good point, well made.

You fancy him, don't you?

-I'm just choking for a drink, that's all.

-Mm-hmm?

Not as much as I fancy you.

If something happens tonight, with Louie, I'll be OK with it.

Gary...

Do you remember how we met?

Barely. The amount I'd had to drink was...

Exactly!

We had fun.

Let's do that tonight...

Hmm? Just cut loose, and if something happens with Louie...

Lulu! This should have caught on by now.

I'm being serious.

If something happens, then let's just...let it.

We don't have to have a rule book.

-Let's just cut loose...

-Oh!

I like the sound of Wild Gary.

-Yeah?

-Mm-hmm.

We'll just phone the school tomorrow and get them told.

Oh, nae danger. School never gets anything sorted.

You're better off going to the parents...

I've sorted it. I've spoke to Madonna.

It's fine.

But what did you tell her?

I just telt her she should start standing up for herself.

When they bullies hit you and call you names,

tell you you're nothing and a nobody,

you don't just sit back and take it.

You don't turn your back and expect everything to change

just cos you ran away for the day.

I says to Madonna,

"You show they lassies what you're made of, and I promise you

"they'll never talk to you again like that."

What did you tell her that for?

Standing up to them's not going to solve anything.

Oh, is it no'?

I told you I'd phone the school and deal with it.

Oh, you telt me?

What? Are you the new man of the house now?

That's not what he's trying to say.

So I should sit down and shut up and let you two run my life for me?

Tell me what I can and cannae do?

No! That's no' what we meant.

Ah, but it's what you're thinking, isn't it?

It's what everybody around here thinks,

talking at me like I'm some daft wee lassie.

Well, no' any more!

That was...

Yeah. I know.

We should...

I'm sorry.

I don't know why I done that, actually.

We should get ready.

Jules'll be here soon.

Yeah, I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea(!)

You won't say anything, will you?

Frankie?

Let me teach you something else, Drew.

You shouldn't talk about the girlfriend

in front of the other girl that's in your bed.

It sort of ruins the moment.

It makes her feel like crap.

I'm sorry.

Oh...

KNOCK AT DOOR

-Hi.

-All right?

Guys, there's been a change of plan.

What do you mean?

Nothing's leaving here tonight. I'll speak to Lenny.

Beat it!

SHE TAKES A DEEP BREATH

MOVIE MUSIC PLAYS FROM TV

I'm going to go.

Are you coming?

No, I'm hanging back.

Are you going to show me out?

Night!

Bye, babes.

Listen, about earlier, I'm sorry.

It was amazing. You were...

You tried your best.

We both did.

Some people just aren't natural learners.

Let's hope you've got the stamina for round two.

What's that for?

Just something for your new place,

so you don't forget me.

Like that would happen.

It's stupid, I know, but it's from our, erm...

First date.

HE SOBS

Oh, you're so sweet.

I'm going to miss you when you go.

I love you, Drew McLean.

I love you too.

-Cheers.

-Brr!

-Cheers.

# Tell me that you need me... #

-GROANING

-I vote for tequila next.

Or maybe something else?

You two are lovely, you know. Lovely.

I just need to go to the loo...

-Are you OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

Just don't do anything I wouldn't do.

# Tell me that you need me

# Tell me that you want me... #

So, Gartholomew, are we doing tequila or what?

Oh...

DOOR SLAMS I thought we had an agreement.

I agreed to nothing.

You said you were out.

Aye, well, I've changed my mind.

Course you have.

Look, we need to review the terms and conditions.

What's that?

This silent partner thing, it's doing my heid in.

You want a share? You have to work for it.

Help yourself, why don't you?

I want access to all your contacts, your drivers, your cars -

everything that's gonnae expand my reach.

HE CHUCKLES

One nip of whisky and we've got Al Capone in lipstick over here.

Lenny, I left school, and I had nae qualifications.

I was pregnant when I was a wean myself.

I've tried to stick by the rules, most of the time,

and what's it got me?

Nowhere.

I've failed at everything in my life.

This is all very touching...

All they years with Jimmy, running after you,

I used to think it was fear that kept him by your side,

but it wasnae.

He couldnae be anything else but your sidekick.

So, you're here to take Jimmy's place?

No' as a sidekick - as a partner.

What makes you think I would ever trust you?

At least you know what you're getting with me.

Yeah, I suppose.

At least when you picked up the gun, you pointed it at my face -

somebody else round here fired it in my back.

Are you sure this is want you want?

It's not what I want.

It's what I need for me and my family.

It's a dangerous game, doll.

Somebody always gets hurt.

Aye, well, it's not gonnae be my lot, this time.

So, Saint Scarlett comes down from the cross.

How can I resist?

Partners...

Partners.

DOOR SLAMS

I thought I told you to keep away...

I'm not here to fight, Caitlin. I'm here to talk.

I have no interest in talking to you.

Look, I'm trying to be nice to you here, but you keep forcing my hand,

so let me be clear.

You open your trap and blab to the polis about me,

you'll live to regret it. Do you get me?

I'm no' scared of you.

It's not me you should be scared of.

It's the folk I work with.

Oh, you'd be fine with me, but Lenny Murdoch?

He's a different story.

You work late, don't you, sometimes, on your own?

Oh, I'd hate to think of something bad happening to you,

when you were walking all the way home yourself.

You see, the thing is, folk that keep their heid down

and their mouth shut around here,

they're usually pretty safe, aren't they?

Do we understand each other?

DOOR CLOSES

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

KEYPAD BEEPS

Hello, Eileen, it's Scarlett.

Aye, I know what time it is.

Aye, well, it's a convenient time for me.

So, erm, about the flat...

I've spoken to a lawyer about it,

and this three-month deadline's no' really working for me.

No.

So, I got to thinking, maybe I could make you an offer.

Aye...

Ah, you're home.

Where have you been all night? Your mother's been worried sick.

And yet she went to her bed?

She must be beside herself.

Did she like the flowers?

Oh, yeah. It turns out she's allergic.

Aw, that's a shame(!)

You think you know someone...

Oh, I forgot to say earlier, thank you.

For what?

For telling your dad about me and your mum.

It was just a kiss, but everything turned out fine.

So, thank you, Frankie.

Goodnight.

PHONE CHIMES

DOOR CLOSES

DOOR OPENS

-Aw...

-Aw, Mum! Stop it.

Shoosh. I've only got you for another week.

I intend to make the most of it.

PHONE BEEPS

Oh, aye. Love's young dream.

Tell Jules I said hi.

PHONE BEEPS

Her family did that to you?

They were just playing.

Who's that?

He's the new you.

All I'm asking is that you spend some time with Bob.

You don't fancy hitting the town tonight? Me and you?

It's a bit short notice.

Oh, I'd love that actually. Fancy picking me up here?

Are you sure this is OK?

Of course, I might go out myself.

-Oh, really?

-I was asked.

Is everything OK with Pete?

You can't leave! Your mother, she won't cope.

He's displaying signs of bi-polar.

Pete needs to see a mental health specialist.

I just don't want to go. I can change my mind, can't I?

You have got to be joking me.

You have fair shed the beef.

Let's see how long you manage to keep it off.

-Please, Frankie, don't tell her.

-You haven't given me a choice.

You knew our son was having sex in my house.

You cannae just chuck me out.

I can, cos I'm sick of it, and sick of you!

Please Jules, listen...