Manolis The Slap

This programme contains some strong language.

Dragging kids round a country where I don't speak the language, visiting fucking cousins, is not my dream.

-Coming to Greece?

-Yeah, we're all coming. Your mum didn't tell you?

-I want to hear the saga of the Greek odyssey.

-I'm not going, it's over, please don't bring it up.

Aren't you ashamed of what you've done to us, to my little boy? Just fuck off.

ANDREW: How many alcoholic beverages had you consumed on the day of the barbecue?

-ROSIE:

-Two, maybe three.

-And you're still breastfeeding, aren't you?

Yes.

Do you breastfeed your son to help him get to sleep?

Yes.

Even after you've consumed three alcoholic drinks?

-Well, not straight...

-SHE CLEARS THROAT

Not straightaway. I wouldn't feed him...straightaway.

That is most comforting.

-NARRATOR:

-'God is a cocksucker.

'That much was clear to Manolis.

'His honest, hardworking nephew standing accused in a court of law,

'a once beautiful young woman ending up like this - pathetic and lost,

'married to a drunk.'

When Hugo was six weeks old, did you leave him alone in the house

and drive two hours away to a hotel on the Mornington Peninsula?

Rosebud, I believe it was.

Can the court please direct the witness to answer the question, Your Honour?

-MAGISTRATE:

-Mrs Bryant, can you please answer?

'And all because of one slap.

'God really is a dirty cocksucker.'

I not like this lawyer.

His eyes not honest.

Yeah, Andrew got me off.

OK, he saved me.

Judge say you guilty! How did he save you if you guilty?

There was no conviction recorded.

He could've gone to jail, Mum. Instead he didn't even get a fine.

THEA SPEAKS GREEK

OK, maybe we should all just try and forget about it and just move on.

Thea, the kid wasn't holding the bat when I hit him.

OK, so, you know, legally,

that means that I wasn't defending Rocco and that makes me guilty.

Next time if that boy hits somebody, who's going to teach him a lesson, huh?

Jesus.

You got a cigarette?

Thanks.

What's up?

The stuff about Rosie walking out on Hugo.

Andrew reckons it probably saved my arse.

I owe you one, cuz.

He went in pretty hard on her, mate.

Yeah.

-That's what lawyers do, mate.

-They kick heads.

You didn't know he was gonna say any of that stuff, right?

Of course I knew. So what?

Fuck.

Mate, I was charged with a criminal offence.

OK, you tell me stuff like that, I'm gonna use it.

I mean, you must've known that.

PHONE RINGS

I've got to take this.

Hi.

CAT MIAOWS

Er... Sandi, please, please. You're guest, please leave it.

-No, it's OK, I'm just doing the plates.

-Hector's wife causes all the worries.

I think... I think when they decided to pull out of this trip to Greece...

When SHE pull out.

Well, when Aisha pulled out, I think that's what got to Harry.

You know, he was hoping that somehow this holiday

was gonna make everything right, you know, with the family.

She doesn't care about the family.

I don't want to speak against her, but she still won't come to my home.

She still won't speak to Harry,

and now Rocco and Adam, they can't see each other.

See, I told you.

She put the stupid Australeza in front of her own husband.

Manolis, I don't want to make things worse, but maybe if you spoke to Aisha.

-Ohh.

-No, she might listen to you.

OK, we're going.

Rocco'll be home from school. I gotta get dinner.

-Thank you. Bye.

-Bye, bye, bye.

Thea, thanks for everything.

-Bye.

-See ya.

Well, they gave Rosie a pretty hard time.

I don't know.

Answered the questions I was asked, that's all.

No.

I gotta go. OK, we'll talk about it when I get home.

Fine.

Bye. Bye.

Aish sends her love to you and Mum.

Harry and Sandi, they gone. Sandi asked me tell you goodbye.

Sorry I, uh... I was on the phone.

Who's pushing you? Harry?

If Aisha and Harry fight,

it put stress on the whole family and the family is my business.

You think I like this?

It's driving me fuckin' nuts.

Then maybe you do something about it.

What, Dad? What should I do?

She your wife, put your foot down.

Oh, Jesus, Dad, I love you,

but sometimes I think you're still in the bloody village.

Maybe I am.

Nothing. It's, uh...nothing.

-I gotta go.

-No, stay.

I gotta go.

And just so it's clear, Aisha's not alone on this Harry thing.

We're totally together on it.

Totally.

Nobody ate the dips.

-You had enough!

-I had one.

NOW you had one. Before, you had the whole plate!

Hey, where the fish?

I threw it away.

I tell you keep it.

Was sitting in the sun all afternoon.

Cat is cleaner than they are.

You sound like the mavri.

She loves the animals, too. More than her own family.

She been good wife to our son.

Then why does she shame him? Why she shame us?

You want Hector to be divorce?

-And whose fault is it if he did?

-What, my fault?

YOU won't even speak his wife name.

At least I know what's important. My family.

My blood is always first, not the dirty cats!

'Manolis had discovered

'that the best way to control his rage was to not even look at Koula.

'For that reason,

'he had become an expert on the water stain above their bed,

'watching it spread and grow over the years.'

MAN ON TV SPEAKS GREEK

DOOR OPENS

-Hi, Pappou.

-Hello, darling.

Hey, Sava, what's wrong with you? You lose your voice?

-Hey, Pappou.

-Sava wiped a booger on me.

Can we please drop the booger issue, Angie? It's been resolved.

I didn't know you coming over?

Last-minute change of plans.

Can I leave the kids with you for a few hours?

Now?

I've got a job interview. I feel really positive about this one.

I've got some loukoumi for you, eh?

KIDS: Oh, thank you! I love you!

You couldn't phone first?

Oh, I was in the area. I thought it was easier if I just dropped in.

THEY GIGGLE

Working for a literacy programme, help kids learn to read and write.

If you study, you learn. Easy.

Actually, it's not that simple, Ma. These kids are underprivileged.

You talk to your cousin?

I've been busy.

He could call me. Anyway, this whole business, the court case,

-it makes me very uncomfortable.

-You think it's Harry's fault?

If you ask me, Rosie and Gary had every right to do what they did.

I hit Sava before.

You tell police on me now?

You shouldn't hit him!

When he's swearing at me, when he spits.

It's never right to hit a child.

Violence does not teach children anything.

In fact...

Oh, Harry give that boy one slap, one bloody slap, that's all!

I happen to be trained in child welfare,

so maybe you should both try listening for once,

instead of just shouting over the top of me!

Fine, I'll leave you to it.

KETTLE WHISTLES

No, hey...

Elisavet.

Elisavet, wait.

Hey, hey.

My temper... I sorry.

It's not you, it's Mum. She doesn't listen to anyone.

Love you, Dad.

-I'll be back around 5:00, OK?

-OK.

I hate this episode. You promised we were going to skip it.

Well, it's my disk, so we're gonna watch what I want.

I'm gonna dob. I'm gonna dob to Yiayia.

-- You're such a baby.

-I am not.

-Are so.

-Oh, really?

-Yeah, really.

69 years old, he's so young.

SHE CRIES

CAT MIAOWS

I call Harry and Elisavet - they say they can come to Thimios' funeral.

I left a message, no answer.

I call again.

Again, answer machine.

Wait.

HE WINCES

Grandpa.

Mum, Grandpa's here.

-AISHA:

-OK, I'm coming.

She's coming.

I'll just go get her.

Oh, yeah, look, last couple of days

I've been getting text messages from a number I don't recognise.

No, no, I just wanted to find out if there's any way

I can get the name of the person who owns the phone.

Yeah, I tried calling them back, but...

Oh, OK. Look, then, can I get the number blocked so they can't send me any more...?

An order from the police? Are you serious?

-AISHA:

-Clean your teeth now.

Yeah, uh... No, no, that's fine.

Thanks, yeah. OK, great. Thank you.

30 seconds.

We got Koula's messages. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Is loss for Hector too.

We're both back late at work last night so...

Is this Mum's idea you coming around here?

Right, well...tell Mum she can keep her shorts on, OK?

I'm taking the afternoon off and we'll be there.

No, whole family must come.

Manolis, I'm sorry but it's... it's a bad day for me.

Yeah, Brendan's away, Dad.

If Aish takes the day off, it'll shut the practice, right?

Is your godfather, same as family.

OK, um...

I'm gonna try and find a locum to fill in for me tomorrow,

and right now, I'm sorry if it seems rude,

but I am late for work, I've got to get the kids to school.

See you tonight...

and maybe I'll see you tomorrow.

If not, please pass on my condolences.

OK, guys. CHILDREN YELL AND GIGGLE

Yes.

-See you, Grandpa. See you, Dad.

-I don't want to carry your bag.

-See you, Dad.

-Bye, guys. Have a good day.

You heard what Aish said, she's gonna try.

Your nono is dead. His family is mourning.

Yeah, OK.

We'll all be there. I'll make sure of it, OK?

Do you want a coffee?

Is fixed.

HE SIGHS

See? Too much cakes.

'As Manolis watched Koula pick his best jacket apart,

'it occurred to him that he would never wear it to another dance,

'just funerals from now on.

'He would never lose the fat he carried around his middle,

'unless it was through illness and wasting.

'And he would never fuck a woman again.

'Would not so much as touch a young woman's breast.

'Never again.'

Dad.

-HE SPEAKS GREEK.

-Hello, darling.

Hi, Mum.

Hey.

-Hi, Sandi.

-Hi.

-Harry.

-Hey, Elisavet.

HARRY SPEAKS GREEK

Where's Hector?

Isn't he supposed to be a pallbearer?

It's time to go.

No, no, no, no, he be here soon.

Sorry, the traffic was shit.

Where is your family?

Aisha had a work emergency. She's sorry, sends her apologies.

-What about children?

-It's a school day, Mum.

School? Rocco, Sava and Angeliki are here. They haven't got school.

We don't wanna frighten them. There's going to be an open casket.

Casket or school? Which lie is it?

Thea, relax, OK? She's a busy woman.

She owns her own business, it's hard.

OK, I understand that.

Let's just go inside, hey, get it over with.

Dad, listen, is this appropriate?

I mean, I haven't seen the poor guy in 35 years.

I don't care whether you see him or not!

PHONE RINGS

OK.

MAN SINGS TRADITIONAL HYMN

MAN SINGS

BELLS RING

'Manolis searched for familiar faces...

'..the companions of his youth,

'before family and obligation came between them.

'How did they all become so old?'

SINGING STOPS

KOULA CRIES

'Manolis remembered the obligations of being Greek,

'that he must shed a tear for the dead man.

-'Yet try as he might...'

-WOMAN CRIES

'..no tears would come.

'Then Manolis thought of himself,

'the young man he had been when he last saw these people...

'..with a life so full of promise,

'a life now lived, promise unfulfilled.'

Hey, Manolis!

Hey, malaka, you don't remember me?

Is this my beautiful Koula?

Thanasis!

Look at him, senile already.

You see, Koula, you should have married me instead.

After burying poor Thimios, I need a drink.

You think he remember the address, Yero?

Thanasis.

-Ah!

-Thanasis.

Look at this place - a boring, fussy old man's house.

Old? Maybe.

But boring? Not yet, my friend, not yet.

Dimitri not here?

Yeah, I heard he was sick, but who knows?

Teresa, she followed the, um...

..aggellia thanatou - she keep the death watch.

But since I got rid of her, I'm free of all that now.

Got rid of her?

She had, um...

..spasmena nevra, a nervous breakdown.

I paid for the best doctors,

but nothing could cure the bitch, so I divorce her.

But you say she sick?

So what?

What do you want me to do?

Be a martyr, sacrifice my own happiness? Gamoto!

HE LAUGHS

I got myself a Filipineza, Antoinetta,

only 45 years old and still in good shape, let me tell you.

Ah, my family thinks she'll get all my money.

And you know what, she deserves it more than they do.

Antoinetta, she keeps my house clean,

she shows me respect and we have sex.

I bet that's more than you can say, eh, Manolis?

Ah, Koula, what a woman.

You know it's not too late. We can still the love together.

Leave this malaka behind.

New cars - there's no artistry involved.

I mean, for instance, the 1968 Alpha.

You want to make that thing sing?

Need a special touch, you know, there's artistry involved.

New cars, it's all technical.

Maybe not a lot of art, but you know, plenty of cash to be made, eh?

Yeah, I do alright.

Still, everything I got is due to the old generation.

Hey? Isn't that right, Theo?

Well, well, Aussies not like to work, so somebody have to do it.

HE LAUGHS

So, um...are you a mechanic too, Hector?

Me? Christ, no.

Oh, no, no, he's a brains, this one, intellectual.

-I'm with the State Trustees Office.

-Right.

But he could've been anything he wanted, this guy - doctor, lawyer, you name it.

HECTOR'S PHONE RINGS

Excuse me, I uh...need to get a drink.

Yeah, like I said, smart.

KEYPAD TONES

KEYPAD TONES

Hello? Hector?

-Who've you told, Connie?

-What?

About what happened between us, who knows?

No...no-one I...I told no-one.

I need to know if you've shot your mouth off to anyone.

I didn't, I swear.

Anyone, Connie, because I have kids to think of, I have a wife.

I didn't do anything like that, I wouldn't do anything like that. OK?

-You swear to me?

-Yes, yes! Of course, I swear.

Hector?

Hey, cuz.

If you've got a problem with me, why don't you just speak up about it?

Who says there's a problem?

Listen, we haven't told anyone about this, OK,

so you got to keep it to yourself.

Me and Sandi, we've been trying for a while to have another kid.

Well, now it looks like we finally got lucky.

Congratulations.

I just want you to understand where I was coming from.

OK, I got a pregnant wife to think about.

And this court case was the first problem.

The shit you brought down when you slapped that kid,

I'm in the permanent doghouse.

Not my fault your wife wears the pants...

Fuck you!

No, fuck you!

-You fuckin' cock sucker.

-Hey, hey, hey!

HE EXHALES

Poor Dimitri, he's so sick, he's got the evil disease.

I have been waiting,

refusing every tray, waiting for my Koula to return.

SHE LAUGHS

HE BREATHES HEAVILY

HE SUPPRESSES ROAR

KNOCKING

KNOCKING

Hey, what are you doing in there so long, old man?

Playing with yourself?

I understand what it's like when you don't get to fuck any more.

Ahh.

You know, if you can't get yourself a Filipineza,

maybe you can get me a mavri, like your son.

CLATTER

What's going on?!

The crazy bastard, he pushed me!

You calling my uncle crazy? Did you push him down?

Hey, leave him alone.

Dad, what the hell happened?

Here, Theo, get up, get up, come on.

He's fine, all right? I got it.

Mate, I'm just trying to help. OK?

Yeah, we don't need your help, all right?

-Hey!

-Come on.

HE GROANS

It was an argument. Shit happens.

Baba!

You're gonna bugger up your knee again.

Dad?

My Pappou, he say,

to marry a woman because she beautiful

is like eating the bird because you like its feathers.

I marry a woman because I like her voice.

Hey, come with me.

It's all here, all here, this all Greek area, always.

TRADITIONAL GREEK MUSIC Ah, you see? This is music.

You ought to try Charles Mingus.

Oh, what? You think I don't know Charles Mingus?

I listen to him before you born.

It's not too late.

Maybe I get a Filipineza instead.

Why a Filipino?

You can get a Russian cheap, and they're Orthodox.

You think I joking?

MOBILE RINGS

-HE SIGHS

-It's Aisha.

I'm late.

MOBILE RINGS

Oh, fuck, Dad.

I feel like I'm losing my grip.

Ah, this problem with Harry is getting worse.

I, um...

I had an affair.

Was a much younger woman.

Was a terrible mistake.

Stupid.

And now it's... it's too late.

Can't take it back.

Yeah.

Uh... Aisha, she know?

No.

I can't think of anything else. It's... it's eating me up.

I don't want to hurt my family.

I don't... I don't want my children to hate me.

You are young.

When I marry your mother,

I know she have her faults,

but I think she loyal.

I don't know she already in love...

..with Thimios.

Mum cheated on you?

By then we already have a little baby.

So I do the right thing.

I keep my marriage together.

I put my family first.

Yeah, well, what you did was right.

Me, I'm a piece of shit.

I ought to go.

Come on. We can face Mum together.

You go.

DOORBELL CHIMES

HE RINGS AGAIN

Manolis!

Dimitri, look who comes.

Hello, Man. Did you come to finish me off?

-GEORGIA:

-Stop talking foolishness.

Bring us a bottle so we can drink together.

-Dimitri mou.

-What?

I'm not going to drink when my best friend comes?

TRADITIONAL GREEK MUSIC PLAYS

Yia mas.

He goes to university, studying law.

Go, then.

Ah, Koula never go without the family.

Hey, Manolis. Hey.

-HE GRUNTS

-Mitso!

Koula... Koula will cut your dick off, Manolis.

Ah! I never use it anyway!

THEY LAUGH

SHE SIGHS

May... maybe is better in hospital...

MUSIC IN BACKGROUND & CHATTER

Hey! That's not music.

This is music.

HE SINGS IN GREEK

THEY LAUGH

Whoo!

HE CLICKS HIS FINGERS IN RHYTHM

Are you OK?

Just... Just relax.

Maybe is OK.

I just touch you, uh?

HE COUGHS

I will talk to Aisha.

HE SIGHS

Sorry.

It's... It's OK.

Sorry to keep you waiting.

It's hard for me to get out of work without some notice.

-I have a full appointment book.

-It's OK.

SHE SIGHS

So, what can I do for you?

Aisha, mou, I must ask you something.

I want you to come to Greece.

Oh, we've made up our minds. I thought you understood that.

I ask you to change your mind.

I... I can't get the refund on the tickets.

You... You can still come.

I can't believe we're still talking about this.

Is important for our family.

Well, if you wanted me to come, why do you invite Harry?

Well, Harry, Sandi, Rocco, they you family too.

I have no problem with Sandi and Rocco, you know that.

Well, Harry is sorry. He wants to make up between you.

Yeah, right(!)

Aisha mou, I always feel you my friend.

Well?

Come for me.

You see, I've got friends on both sides of this.

And I've known Rosie a lot...

You will come to Greece.

I'll do what I think is right, not what you tell me.

You have no forgiveness.

I'll never forgive Harry for what he did.

Oh, one slap.

You know what I'm talking about, and it's not that slap.

I think you must be...

SHE SIGHS

You must be out of pocket for the trip so...

..this should cover the full amount of the airfares.

You know, I am really, really sorry.

Sorry about this whole thing.

DOOR SLAMS

What happened?

Nothing.

Hector call.

He was very angry.

Aisha, she was crying after you spoke to her.

PHONE RINGS

PHONE RINGS CONTINUOUSLY

MUSICAL MONTAGE

MOBILE CHIMES

SHE SINGS IN GREEK

GREEK SONG RESUMES