Wandering Minstrels v Gallifreyans Only Connect

Hello, and welcome to Only Connect.

If you're not familiar with the show,

well, if you think in terms of

The X Factor or Britain's Got Talent...

it's not the show for you.

But I'll tell you who it is the show for - two fresh teams

who've come along to sharpen their lateral thinking

on the connecting grindstone.

Tonight those teams are...

on my right, Vyvyan Almond,

a freelance researcher who enjoys amateur dramatics

and is an enthusiastic member of the Oxford University

Historical Re-enactment Society,

Fergus Butler-Gallie,

a history student and opera enthusiast

who enjoys tasting the ales of Eastern Europe,

and their captain Edward Green,

an Oxford graduate and practising lawyer

who once had his Panama hat stolen on the night train to Bucharest.

All fans of Gilbert and Sullivan,

they are the Wandering Minstrels.

So, is your team looking forward to the music question?

If you stick to music pre-1896, we're fine.

-We try to.

-Superb.

Are there any areas you are hoping WON'T come up?

Everything, say, '60s, '70s, '80s,

'90s music.

2000s.

You know it's not a music quiz, right?

It will be when we start pressing that.

Good luck. You will be facing, tonight, on my left...

John Dorney, a writer and actor

who enjoys swimming and fantasy role-play,

Stuart Wildig -

an English graduate and IT professional

who enjoys analysing television ratings

and is learning to play the ukulele,

and their captain - Giles Sparrow

a science writer and editor

who's written a book about planets that don't exist,

and was once prevented from boarding a nuclear submarine.

All fans of Doctor Who -

they are the Gallifreyans.

How did your team meet?

We all know each other through the largest online

Doctor Who forum, but we only actually got together

and met for the first time on the day of the auditions.

So did you trawl the Doctor Who forum for an Only Connect team?

We have our own Only Connect forum, or sub-forum, discussing it.

-That is my kind of community!

-THEY CHUCKLE

Good luck.

I will be asking the teams to try and find

the hidden connections between

four apparently random clues.

Gallifreyans, you won the toss, you'll go first.

Please choose an Egyptian hieroglyph.

Eye of Horus, please.

OK. You will be able to see a maximum of four clues,

but if you come in early you can get more points.

The first clue is coming up...

now.

-That's the Silent Spring.

-What?

-The Silent Spring.

Is it worth punting on "seasons"?

Erm... Could be, but it's not...

It's not a sequence, is it?

Shall we take another?

Another one just to make...

-But it could still be.

-It could be.

-Could be.

-Next.

-I don't know.

-Could be winter?

Winter? Shall we take a punt on...

-Yeah, might as well.

-BELL

Is it seasons?

I like to see you coming in with a gamble,

but I'm afraid that's not the answer.

So I'll show all four clues to the Wandering Minstrels -

you've the chance for a bonus point.

I can't give you long.

CSI...?

What's your answer?

They've all got "crime" in the title.

-And what you think those titles are?

-Erm...

A Christmas Crime, perhaps.

I'm afraid, as it happens, none of them has "crime" in the title.

You went off down the right track, though, Gallifreyans.

It is Silent Spring, the first clue.

The next one, the Franz Gruber carol - Silent Night.

The forensic pathology series would be Silent Witness.

And that last one denotes a silent letter.

So no bonus point, Minstrels,

but you may choose your own question.

Twisted Flax, please.

What links these clues?

Here's the first.

Next, please.

Tumbler...

Equipment for making cocktails?

Can it be for a tumble dryer?

Shall I go for the next one?

-Yes.

-Yeah.

-Next one, please.

They aren't all fairground rides?

Oh, erm, I don't know.

Grindr is a mobile phone app, of course,

but I don't suppose the others are.

Next one, please.

Oh, no, perhaps they... Of course!

BELL

They're all websites,

but with an E between two consonants

that form the end of their name.

They're all internet brands, that's right, if you take out the E.

Flickr would be for photo-sharing,

Tumblr is a sort of blogging platform,

and Grindr and Blendr, I believe, are for,

let's say, making new friends.

Is there much dating through the Doctor Who forum?

Yes.

-Is there?

-Is there?!

You said that very enthusiastically!

There's Doctor Who babies from the forum.

Aww...! Love among the Whovians!

That's a happy story. Excellent.

Will you fall in love with your next question, Gallifreyans?

-Which is it to be?

-Horned Viper, please?

The Horned Viper. What is the connection between these clues?

Here's the first.

That's EastEnders.

Is it Carry On, though? Barbara Windsor.

-Yeah, it could be.

-Shall we carry on?

-Might as well.

-Next, please.

Darrin Stephens... Ah!

It's where there's different actor played it later on.

A second, replacement actor. Darrin Stephens is from Bewitched.

Of course. OK. BELL

OK. I'll let John say it.

They were played by more than one actor.

That's right.

The original actor was famously replaced,

more famously in the case of Darrin Stephens from Bewitched.

Peggy Mitchell - famously, Barbara Windsor - there was originally

a different actor you didn't need to see. Kristine Kochanski.

-Where's she from?

-Red Dwarf.

And Miss Ellie, of course,

Barbara Bel Geddes is replaced by Donna Reed

to the shock of viewers.

Yes, all characters

who are played by different people.

Well done. Back to you Minstrels for a choice.

Two Reeds, please.

What is the connection between these clues?

Here is the first.

OK, Apple.

Next, please.

Marcus Garvey...? Know who he is?

He didn't take over from Steve... No.

Not heard of him, no.

It's not a sequence, either, so...

Is he head of a fruit-based company?

Could be. Next, please.

I don't know.

Heads of fruit-based...? Fourth one?

Fourth one, please.

Are these false names?

-Are they pseudonyms?

-Yeah...

-Are they?

Well, Mark Twain certainly is.

Three seconds.

BELL

Erm, they're not their birth names.

That does not apply to all the clues, I'm afraid.

So Gallifreyans, a bonus chance.

Stuart?

They all had premature obituaries.

They were all the subject of premature obituaries. That's right.

Mark Twain was the one who people say said,

"Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated," -

a slight misquotation.

But, yes, obituaries of all of them

were published early.

Marcus Garvey had suffered a stroke

and it was reported that

he'd died from it,

and apparently reading that,

brought on the second, fatal stroke.

Dave Swarbrick.

-Do you know who he is?

-No.

Sounds like he should be in a band, but...

Yes, that's right, a band.

He was a violinist in Fairport Convention

and he said in response to the news

of his premature obituary that,

"It's not the first time I've died in Coventry."

All subjects of premature obituaries.

So, well done for the bonus and your choice.

Lion, please.

Lion.

The music question.

Right, what is the connection between these.

You'll be shouting "next" when you want to hear the next clue.

They all have something in common. What is it?

Time starts now.

STAGE MUSICAL STYLE # I have to watch the river

# To see that it doesn't stop

# And stick around the rosebuds

# So they'll know when to pop...

# Better keep the crickets cheerful...#

Next.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS # I don't mind... #

Oh, it's Oasis.

Erm...

# ..Stars that shine... #

INDISTINCT SPEECH

-Shall we move on?

-Next.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

"Wouldn't it be nice..."

Erm...

Erm...

-# Oh, wouldn't it be nice... #

-Oh! Erm... This is the Small Faces!

-Try another one.

-What is it?

-Next!

-Three seconds.

REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS # Today I don't feel like... #

-BELL

-(Lazy.)

Is it, well...

Ah... Laziness?

You don't seem happy with that answer,

but it's correct!

They're the songs about being lazy!

We heard Busy Doing Nothing from

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.

The Importance Of Being Idle - that was an Oasis song.

Lazy Sunday, and the The Lazy Song.

Bit late for you guys or would you have got it?

-We would, unfortunately.

-You would, unlucky.

You didn't get that question,

but you will get the last question of the round.

That's water. I imagine these are going to be picture clues

cos we haven't seen those yet. What connects the pictures?

Here's the first.

-A possum.

-Is it? OK.

Next, please.

It's a boxer. Does anyone recognise him?

-No, no.

-No idea.

-Next, please.

A ballerina.

Tutu. Possum.

Is it a dancing possum?

I don't know.

Can we have the next, please?

That's Sugarloaf. Sugarloaf Mountain.

Sugar.

The answer is sugar.

You recognised Sugarloaf Mountain in Rio de Janeiro,

the Sugar Plum Fairy. Who do you think the boxer is?

Isn't it Sugar Ray Robinson or something like that?

-Sugar Ray Leonard.

-Oh, well.

-That is a possum in the first one,

but it's a specific little fellow called the sugar glider.

-Oh.

-Sugar is the connection. Well done.

So at the end of round one,

the Wandering Minstrels have 2 points, the Gallifreyans have 5.

Round two is about sequences.

There are still four connected clues,

but the teams may see a maximum of three of them

because I want to know what would come fourth in the sequence.

Gallifreyans, you'll be going first again. Please choose a hieroglyph.

Eye of Horus, again please.

OK, you'll be seeing the first of a series.

What would you expect to come fourth?

Your time starts now.

-Anything.

-No, idea.

-Next, please.

Angola.

-Geography is not my strong point.

-Nothing's creeping out.

Next.

Mozambique.

Is it...?

-They all speak Portuguese, don't they?

-Could be.

Could be Brazil.

Yeah, go for it.

BELL

Is it Brazil?

The answer is first Brazil.

For what reason?

Because it's countries where they speak Portuguese

-in the largest numbers.

-That's right.

They're Lusophone countries.

They all have the same official language, in this case Portuguese,

and the country where they have the most Portuguese speakers is Brazil.

Well done.

Minstrels, what would you like?

-The lion, please.

-OK.

What will be the fourth in this sequence? Here's the first.

A1 - R.

Next, please.

B1 - N.

Right.

-It could stand for countries, it could stand for people.

-People.

It's a sequence.

-Shall we just go to the third?

-Yeah.

Next one, please.

C1 - B. Well, it's going to be...

R... Oh, are they colours? I don't know.

Working out the definition of colours.

Three seconds.

BELL

-D1 - Y.

-Not the answer, I'm afraid.

Gallifreyans, do you want to go for a bonus?

-It's chess. D1, which is the one on the left.

-K?

Yeah, K.

I'm afraid it is D1 - Q.

THEY GROAN

It is the setup of a chess board.

In the d1 square is the queen, denoted by a Q.

K would be king, so b1 - N, what's that?

-Knight, because it clashes with...

-It's a knight.

The K is already taken, so we say N for knight.

But no bonus point, although you were close.

Which question would you like?

Twisted Flax, please.

The Twisted Flax. What will be the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

-Jack Lemmon and Whoopi Goldberg.

-Jack Lemmon and Whoopi Goldberg.

Were they in anything together?

I don't think they're in anything together. It could be actors...

Nominations.

Next, please.

-Johnny Carson.

-Johnny Carson.

-Ah, number of hosts.

Number of times they've hosted the Oscars.

Billy Crystal or Bob Hope.

Next.

-Next, please.

-Bob Hope.

BUZZER

-Bob Hope.

-The answer is Bob Hope.

As you identified impressively early, these are Oscar hosts

in order of the number of times they've hosted the ceremony.

How many times do you think Bob Hope hosted the Oscars?

All of them, mainly.

LAUGHTER 20?

18. 18 times, he hosted it.

Back to you, Minstrels, for a choice.

-The Two Reeds, please.

-OK.

These are going to be picture clues.

What would you expect to see in the fourth picture? Here's the first.

That's Florence.

Next, please.

A rose.

Must be Shakespeare. The Name Of The Rose.

Shall we go for the next one?

Yeah.

Next one, please.

Florence Rose Endellion. It's Cameron.

Cameron's daughter.

Cameron's daughter. Daughter that was born in St Endellion.

BUZZER

You'd expect to see a Cameron.

-A Cameron.

-So, for example,

-the Cameron Highlanders.

-Excellent.

Or, for example, Cameron Mackintosh.

Yes, anything denoting Cameron.

Why would that be?

It's his daughter, who was born during the election campaign.

It is the daughter of David Cameron, Florence Rose Endellion Cameron.

Why is Endellion the clue, why might you get it from that?

She was born there, so they chose to name it after her.

That's right. It was in the news that Mrs Cameron

went into labour early, when they were on holiday in Cornwall,

and they were so grateful to the local NHS hospital that they

named their daughter after a nearby village.

Gallifreyans, your turn for a choice.

-Water, please.

-Water, OK.

What will be the fourth in this sequence?

Here's the first.

Five, Eggheads. Well, that's the amount of people on the team.

Five members. Go for the next one,

cos we don't know what way the sequence is going.

That's true, next please.

-So it's a team of two.

-Pointless?

Yes, Pointless has teams of two, doesn't it? I think so.

Yes, it does.

Two - Pointless.

Two - Pointless is precisely what we were looking for.

I would have taken other things apart from Pointless,

but what would I want to hear?

The number of people on the team.

That's exactly right.

They are quiz shows with decreasing numbers of people on a team.

Some kind of show in which there are two people on a team,

for example Pointless, would be the answer. Well done.

Wandering Minstrels, there is one question remaining,

the Horned Viper, that will be yours.

You've probably worked out by now

that I want to know what might come fourth in the sequence.

Here's the first one.

Subdominant. Is that musical?

Next, please.

-It's to do with chords.

-Chords, isn't it?

-Yes.

Subdominant, mediant... So the final would be dominant.

Shall we ask to see the third just to make sure dominant doesn't come up?

-Yes.

-The next, please.

-Supertonic.

-Dominant chord, is that what it's called?

I don't know, I just recognise the terms.

Is it dominant?

Primary?

Dominant.

Not the answer, I'm afraid. There's a bonus chance for the Gallifreyans.

-Tonic.

-The answer is tonic. Why is that?

Because they're all things to do with musical chords.

I don't think any of us know anything more than that, really.

They're not actually chords.

I'm surprised you didn't get this, actually, on your side.

It's the notes of the diatonic scale,

but the trick is, we're going backwards

so that the first note in a diatonic scale would be tonic,

then supertonic, then mediant and the fourth would be subdominant.

We're going backwards.

Do you know what I mean by a diatonic scale?

-Oh, yes.

-I can pretend I do.

I have no idea at all.

It's like doh-ray-me would be a diatonic scale.

Who's the main singer on your team?

We're not really singers.

Musical ability has nothing to do with Gilbert and Sullivan.

LAUGHTER

Can none of you sing?

-We can and we have been made to.

-We have sung.

But we're not singers.

It's mainly a capacity for heroic quantities of gin that...

LAUGHTER

-JOHN:

-You should have got tonic, still, regardless.

Quite, quite.

So, at the end of round two,

the Wandering Minstrels have 4 points,

the Gallifreyans have 13.

Round three is the connecting wall.

There are still four groups of connected clues,

but this time they're all mashed up together -

16 clues that the teams have to sort into the four connected groups.

There are red herrings that may fall into more than one category,

but there's only one perfect solution.

Minstrels, you'll be wandering in first this time.

You have the choice - Lion or Water.

-Lion, please.

-OK.

You have two-and-a-half minutes to solve the Lion wall, starting now.

Right.

So, OK, dictionaries, Macquarie, Webster's, Oxford, Collins.

-Pigs. Male chauvinist, Percy...

-Good.

OK, and old money. Florin, crown. OK, fine. Let's go for old money first.

Halfpenny, crown, florin, guinea.

Let's try it without crown.

Let's try it without florin.

Let's try it without guinea.

Guinea is a pig.

We've got dictionaries and pigs.

Ignore the pigs for a bit. Chambers is a dictionary, isn't it?

So which one should that leave us with?

Clancy, Judd, Percy, Gough.

Collins might be...

Percy...

-Tom Clancy?

-Yes, I was wondering about Tom Clancy.

But Gough is a cricketer, isn't he?

Guinea is a country, but there's no other countries there.

Judd sounds like a cricketer.

Shall we try and get the pigs?

-Male chauvinist, Percy, guinea...

-Webster's.

Stuck pig.

Three strikes and you're out now.

Chambers, Macquarie, Collins, Oxford, Webster's.

Five possible dictionaries.

-What's the other group?

-I don't know, they're all names.

Clancy, Gough, Judd, and then Macquarie, Collins or Chambers.

-Chambers was a cricketer as well.

-Shall we try the cricketers?

-Yes.

-Judd, Gough, Chambers, Clancy.

You solved the wall. Very well done.

That's four points immediately for the groups.

I'll give you more points for the connections.

The top group - halfpenny, or ha'penny, crown, farthing, florin.

It's all old money.

That's right, former coins of the realm.

Next group, stuck, Percy, male chauvinist, guinea.

-They can all proceed pig.

-They can all be followed by the word pig.

Clancy, Judd, Gough, Chambers.

-They're cricketers.

-Well, no, they're not.

Darren Gough is a cricketer, but he is in that group

-in his role as a winner of Strictly Come Dancing.

-Ah.

As is Abbey Clancy, Tom Chambers, the actor,

and Harry Judd, a drummer from McFly.

Winners of Strictly.

-The last group, Webster's, Collins, Oxford, Macquarie.

-Dictionaries.

That's right. You get four points for finding the groups,

three points for the connections, that is a total of seven.

The TARDIS has landed, the Gallifreyans are leaping out

in an eager quest for their own connecting wall.

Don't worry, we've got one.

16 fresh clues all jumbled up need sorting back out

in the exact same way.

You're going to get the Water Wall because Lion's been taken.

You have two-and-a-half minutes to solve it, starting now.

Rainbow...

-Button Moon, obviously, rainbow.

-Pipkins.

-Number 73.

-Number 73 was one as well.

-Do you want to work those?

-Yeah, I'll work through them.

-Thunder Bay, that is...

-Kitchener. General...

Racing drivers. Hunt, Hill, Hamilton, Button.

If we keep those for the time being.

Generals. Kitchener.

Thunder Bay, what's Thunder Bay?

Odds. Odds on? Odds, what is odds?

Are we missing anything in the words?

Is there something in the words?

Kitchener, Hawthorn. Thorn.

Oh, Canada. Toronto, Ottawa, Thunder Bay might be in there.

Hamilton maybe?

-Could be.

-What were the other ones we were thinking?

-Racing drivers.

Shall we try Canada?

-Thunder Bay, Toronto, Ottawa and...

-Hamilton, I think.

-No.

-OK, how about...?

-Hawthorn, perhaps?

Shall we try it with Kitchener?

Thunder Bay, Toronto, Ottawa...

Oh, of course, we need Hamilton for the other...

Three strikes and you're out now.

So if we have Hamilton, Hunt, Hill and Button,

that leaves Moon, Hawthorn, Odds and Rainbow.

Hawthorn.

Bow. Moon.

-Go through the ones that we think...

-Button, Hill...

Hamilton and Hunt.

Don't touch those.

-So it's Rainbow, odds...

-Moon and Hawthorn.

-Bush? Moon bush?

Odds. Odds!

What kind of odds, there's got to be something with odds.

End of the rainbow...end of moon cycle?

Things that go through cycles, ways of remembering them.

Short odds, long odds.

You've got 30 seconds.

They've got words within them. Moon.

Rainbow... Odds doesn't.

We're not necessarily certain of the racing drivers.

-Shall we try and do that?

-Yeah, might as well.

No, don't hit randomly. Maybe these.

Button, Hill, Hamilton, Hawthorn, would he be one?

-Button, Hill, Hamilton, Moon.

-No, no, no, we've tried.

-No, we tried Hunt.

Five seconds.

Go for it.

No, that's not it. Your three strikes are out. The time is up.

But you found two groups, you'll get two points for that.

I'll give you more for the connections.

Button Moon, Pipkins, Magpie, Number 73.

Children programmes, ITV.

That's it, they're all ITV children's programmes.

Next group, Thunder Bay, Ottawa, Toronto, Kitchener.

Places in Canada.

I'd really like to hear something else.

Is it lakes in Canada? Provinces, perhaps.

Because it's your opening heat, I'm going to take places in Canada,

but if you get deeper into the competition,

you'll have to be more specific than that.

They are all in Ontario, but they are in Canada, so I'll accept it.

You can still get points for connections in the groups

you didn't find, so let's resolve the wall.

There you go - Button, Hunt, Hamilton, Hawthorn.

Formula 1 racing drivers.

That's right. They're British Formula 1 champions.

You didn't know Mike Hawthorn, the first British Formula 1 champion.

And the last one, Rainbow, Moon, Odds, Hill.

-They're all things you can be over.

-That's it.

The expressions over the rainbow, over the moon, over the odds

and over the hill.

So you found two groups, that's two points,

and you get four points for the connections. That is a total of six.

Let's have a look at the scores going into the final round.

The Wandering Minstrels have 11 points, the Gallifreyans have 19.

Round four is the missing vowels round.

We've taken well-known names, phrases or sayings,

we've taken out the vowels and squidged up the consonants.

The teams have to decipher what those hidden clues are.

They will still come in connected batches of four,

but this time I'm going to tell the teams upfront

what the connections are.

This time, teams, if you get something wrong,

even one letter, I'll be taking a point away.

So be careful. Fingers on buzzers, the first group are all...

-BELL

-Gallifreyans.

-Attic.

-Correct.

Tricky one. An urn.

-BELL

-No, too late, an urn.

Next clue.

-Minstrels?

-An external hard drive.

I'm afraid I can't give you the point. Gallifreyans?

External hard drive.

That's right, there's no N for "an", I'm afraid.

Next clue.

-BELL

-Gallifreyans?

-Big yellow self storage.

-Correct.

Next category...

-BELL

-Minstrels?

-Hairspray.

-Correct.

-BELL

-Gallifreyans?

Chorus... A Chorus Line.

I have to take your first answer, you don't get the point.

-Minstrels?

-A Chorus Line.

-A Chorus Line is the correct title.

Next clue.

-BELL

-Gallifreyans?

-Evita.

-Correct.

-BELL

-Gallifreyans?

-Jerry Springer - The Opera.

-Correct.

Next category...

-BELL

-Gallifreyans?

-Ted Lowe and Snooker.

-Well done.

-BELL

-Gallifreyans?

Eddie Waring and rugby league.

That's right.

I mean, I could give you a fortnight for this one.

Alan Weeks and ice skating.

Next clue.

-BELL

-Gallifreyans?

Raymond Brooks-Ward and show jumping.

Well done. Next category. They're characters in Cheers.

END-OF-ROUND JINGLE

No time for another category

because that sound means it's the end of the quiz,

and looking at the final scores,

after getting a little bit unlucky,

finishing an honourable second with 12 points,

it's the Wandering Minstrels.

But the winners, with 26 points,

it's the Gallifreyans.

Well done to you, Gallifreyans,

you're straight through to the next round.

Wandering Minstrels, you don't go home, you get a sub next round,

through which you can go through to the next round.

I don't really understand the system,

but the point is, sooner or later, you will all be coming back here.

I use the word "here" very happily, because I'm glad to say

although we've changed channels, we have not changed venues.

We are still making Only Connect in beautiful Cardiff,

staying true to our principles of cheap studio rates. Goodbye.