Jeopardy Mouse Danger Mouse

Argh!

# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

-# He's the ace

-The ace

-# He's amazing

-Amazing

# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #

EXPLOSION

The Tower of London, the world's greatest castle,

and Danger Mouse, the world's greatest secret agent,

hot in pursuit of his nemesis, Baron Greenback -

dogged, determined and driving around in circles?!

-Right! Right!

-TYRES SQUEAL

Don't let him bite you. You'll become one of them!

What did I say about playing Attack of the Bunnies

-during work hours, Penfold?

-What makes you think I'm playing...?

Argh! Zombie Mouse!

I'm supposed to be using my spare iPatch

for directions to the Baron's hideout, not playing games.

Sorry, Chief. I always failed geography.

I could never find the classroom.

-Hee-hee!

-Very funny, Penfold. We'll just have to use the danger nav.

Baron Greenback's hideout, please.

DANGER NAV: 'Computing most dangerous route.

'Route found. Oh, and it's nasty.

'Proceed in a westerly direction so fast it sets the wheels on fire.

'At the next tree, drive straight up, then twang yourself 300 metres...'

Twang?!

'At the next canyon, shut your eye and hit the turbo boost.'

-Oh, heck!

-PENFOLD SCREAMS

'You will arrive at your destination in one second. Stop.'

Aaaargh...

Cor, I always thought Stonehenge would be more stony than that.

This is Bouncyhenge, Penfold.

The ancient Britons built it for their ancient kids.

POP Mum, it's happened again!

-Not so fast, Baron.

-You're too late, Danger Mouse.

The world, as you know it, is at an end. Stiletto, activate the machine.

Si, Barone, at once.

Congratulations on the purchasing

-your very own tectonic plate spinner.

-Just give it to me!

Look out, Penfold. He's... Oh.

They must have used up this week's special effects on the car chase.

-Baron Greenback, you're...

-Under arrest.

Funny, that didn't sound like me.

-Who are you?

-Jeopardy Mouse, world's greatest secret agent.

-Awkward!

You must be the world's second greatest secret agent because...

Stand down, tourist. I'm on official US government business.

Tourist?! I'm British. Cool eyeshades, by the way.

This is America and they're not cool. They're a crime-stopping tool!

They're not stopping much crime now. Baron Greenback's getting away!

-Come on. We'll use the danger nav.

-Danger nav?

What kind of dumb secret agent tries to make missions more dangerous?

The danger nav is a miracle of British engineering.

Danger nav, find Baron Greenback.

-DANGER NAV:

-'Finding brown cheese sack.'

-Baron Greenback.

'Proceed ahead for ten metres to...

'No, hang on, reverse nine metres.

'No, loop the loop.

'This is impossible. The map is wrong.'

EXPLOSION Real impressive(!)

Madam, as a guest in my country...

YOUR country? This is America.

NARRATOR: To make sense of this confusion, we go to London, England.

I mean, London, New York?!

-London's finest possibly pork pies.

-Hot dogs, hot dogs!

Get your totally awesome hot possibly dogs here!

Where in a Mayfair, er, Upper West Side postbox, er, mailbox,

on the pavement - sidewalk?! I'm going for a lie-down.

The Colonel will clear this up. Boss?

General E Normous Schwartznut, head of the US Secret Service.

While Brittain's in the US, I'm the boss.

-Where's Colonel K?

-Here, DM.

Greenback's got a tectonic plate spinner.

It moves whole countries with the touch of a button.

What kind of maniac would develop such a weapon?

He stole it from us. This is our spare.

We want the pair of you to work together

to get the device back from Baron Greenback.

Negative, sir. Danger Mouse is unprofessional, unfocussed

-and only interested in having fun.

-She DOES know you're here?

That's an order, Jeopardy. We need all the help we can get.

-The world's in chaos.

-He's put Hawaii in the Antarctic!

You shouldn't even be in this scene. You're from the Arctic.

I'm on vacation.

The Baron's in Shanghai, so head for Switzerland ASAP.

And I thought MY geography was bad!

Shanghai IS in Switzerland! The Baron's moved it!

Anyone need a ride? Huh?

-Well, I'm driving on the way back.

-At least you're in the front!

-Penfold, shush.

-Is he always this annoying?

-You get used to him.

-Ha-ha.

-Was that a laugh? Penfold, maybe she's not a robot after all.

I never laugh during missions.

The world is in a jumble

and only I can save it.

All I ask for in return

is the small sum of...

all the money in the world!

Maybe ask for a sandwich too.

Stiletto, you idiot.

We can buy all the sandwiches we desire with that money.

But I'm hungry now! BEEPING

Hey, Barone, look, Danger Mouse and Jeopardy Mouse are approaching.

Fear not, my feathered fiend, they will never catch us -

not when the land itself is against them.

NERO CHUCKLES

-Chief?

-Just stepped out for some fresh air, Penfold.

Are you here to save the world or are you here to mess around?

-He's Danger Mouse - he can do both.

-Thank you, Penfold.

And after a swim, what better than hitting some beach?

APPLAUSE

You can't help but draw attention, huh?

You do realise you're supposed to be a SECRET agent?

It's hard to keep something so great a secret.

THEY GASP

Madam, I'm as secret as it gets. I'm like the Invisible Man.

-No-one even knows I exist.

-# Danger Mouse... #

Well, what's the point in doing it if nobody notices?

Oi!

They forgot about me.

Ha, well, at least I'm out of danger.

-Oh.

-Hey, Barone, look who it is.

-Eek.

Just because we're saving the world, Killjoy Mouse,

doesn't mean we can't have fun.

I don't get paid to have fun, Blowhard Mouse!

-Hang on, you get paid?

-You really think I'm boring?

Disaster, DM!

The Baron's captured our dear friend...What's-his-name.

-Penfold's in danger?

-Who?

They're holed up in Italy, so get to Australia ASAP.

-Want to take the dangerous road?

-Take the road - it's faster.

They're coming fast.

They're carving through Easter Island like a knife through butter.

-Speaking of which, I'm still hungry.

-Not now, Stiletto!

You can't win. Danger Mouse is the greatest secret agent

in the world and today, there's two of him.

-NERO SQUEALS

-And how will they catch us

if the location of our location keeps changing?

Stiletto, we're taking Italy for a drive.

-What can catch a speeding country?

-Another speeding country?

-Genius!

General, we need you to send the spare tectonic plate spinner

-to our exact coordinates.

-Dispatching by rocket.

Should be with you in three, two...

-EXPLOSION

-Thank you.

Maybe not our exact coordinates next time.

-Where are we anyway?

-New Zealand.

Now, let's take this country for a spin.

Get me closer.

Huh?

-Lasso that ship.

-I've got a better idea.

The lasso would have been easier.

Yeah, but the Great Wall of China was more fun.

Ooh, look who's decided to join the party.

I'm winking. It's not easy to tell because of the...

I get it. Now, let's get them.

-They're right outside the door!

-The doors are indestructible.

The only way to open them is to press this button.

-The big green one there?

-Yes, that one.

That's everything. Soon all the money in the world will be mine!

THEY LAUGH EVILLY

OK, half the money in the world and we'll call it quits?

-Maybe just a sandwich?

-Jeopardy, do the honours.

-This one's all yours.

-But I insist.

-Oh, get on with it!

-Together?

-TOGETHER:

-You are...

Under arrest, in the name of the Italian people.

It is I, Il Hazard Mouse, the greatest secret agent in the world!

-Awkward!

-Crumbs, Chief, there's another one. Ha-ha.

EVERYONE LAUGHS

I have no idea what we're laughing about.

Jeopardy Mouse is back in the US,

Brittain's back in the top left-hand corner

-and all's back to normal.

-It certainly isn't!

We're getting complaints about where Penfold put the other countries.

Thing is, I never was any good at geography.

Will the world descend into chaos? Will anyone notice if it does?

One thing's for certain, if there's a crisis,

we can always call on the world's greatest secret agent, Danger Mouse.

Or is it Jeopardy Mouse, Hazard Mouse...

Will we have to change the name of the show?

Tune in next time to find out.

# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse

# Danger Mouse! #

EXPLOSION