Queen of the Weevils Danger Mouse


Queen of the Weevils

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-CHIEF!

-Ahh!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace!

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing!

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# He's the strongest He's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! # PENFOLD: Ahhh!

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BOOM

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The magical land of Albion! Where the dread Queen of Weevils

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battles the Warlock, Merlin.

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Ahahahaha!

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I'm sorry, I think I'm in the wrong show.

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Uh! Ah!

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-I...

-It definitely said "Danger Mouse" on the door.

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I will destroy you and your false magic, Merlin.

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-Or, maybe I've got the wrong day.

-DO YOU MIND?!

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And then, I shall be the only true magical power in the...

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Just a sec, where's my diary?

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This is a flashback, you silly man!

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Oh! Is this a fantasy episode?

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I prefer the term "imaginative melodrama."

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Now, please shut up and...

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ZAP

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That's not fair! I wasn't ready.

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I cast you into the crystal prison

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from whence you shall never escape!

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Except when it helps the story.

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No! No!

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Not again!

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I'll have my revenge even if it takes forever!

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Right, sorry, this is my first fantasy episode.

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Merlin broke the crystal

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and sent a piece to each of the ancient kingdoms.

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The Queen of Weevils will remain trapped until it is whole again.

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What nonsense, Penfold. There's no such thing as magic.

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There is! That's why the Professor wants us to guard the crystal.

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She heard Greenback wants to steal it.

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There it is!

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Imagine, the Queen of Weevils is actually trapped in that!

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It's just an old broken ornament. I'm amazed no-one's mended it!

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Chief, stop! The last time she was free,

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it took all of Merlin's magic to save the world!

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Magic, Penfold? Honestly.

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All you need to save the world is a highly-trained mouse with

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a belt full of quality gadgets and a cheeky wink.

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Free at last! Ahahahaha!

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No!

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It's the Queen of Weevils!

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Don't be ridiculous, Penfold. It's just a tourist who's got lost.

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Excuse me, Madam, I'm afraid this area is restricted.

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Can I show you to the more boring public area?

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Break it, and you pay for it.

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Of course, pull it out,

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and technically you'll be king of England.

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Hmm.

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QUEEN OF WEEVILS CACKLES

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SHE SCREAMS

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CLANG

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Can't have a cloud of beetles becoming king of England, can we?

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Chief, quick! We need to get her back in her prison!

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RETRO VIDEO GAME JINGLE

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PLANE WHIRS

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What false magic is this that can fill the world with metal birds,

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glass trees and Giraffe Warriors Seven?

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In the time of the ancients, we only had Giraffe Warriors Two.

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How strange it must be for the Queen of Weevils to...

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-Your voice sounds familiar.

-What? Um...

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HIGH-PITCHED: No, I don't think so! Oh, look, here comes Danger Mouse!

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A horseless chariot!

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You must be a mighty magician! But, I shall destroy you along with all

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the other false magic in this world.

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SQUELCH

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STATUE ROARS

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BOTH: Ah!

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ROARING

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BOTH: AHHHH!

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Thus will all this world's wizards fall.

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I will replace their false magic with my own.

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And the Queen of Weevils will be Queen of the world!

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LIGHTNING CRACKS

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Hold on, Penfold! Inflate Hot Air Danger Trousers!

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Ooh! Oh, crikey, that's toasty!

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You must be the stupidest mouse in the world!

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Number one again, Chief! Woohoo!

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I asked you to protect a devastating piece of technology

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from the Baron, not switch it on.

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It isn't tech-lonogy, it's magic!

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We need Merlin to rise from his tomb.

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It's not magic, it just looks

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that way until you know how it's done. Like stealing a child's nose.

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DOINK

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Ah-ha!

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Danger Mouse, do you realise the danger you've put the world in?

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-Ahhh!

-An ancient maniac who thinks she's a witch?

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-Where's me nose?

-Not much, I would imagine.

-Where's it gone?

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DRAGONS ROAR

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STATUE ROARS

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Oh, oh, oh!

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STATUE ROARS

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Oh, so actually quite a lot of trouble. Hmm.

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Magical mayhem, DM! Hit the Queen of Weevils

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with everything we've got before it gets any worse.

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Ah!

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HE ROARS

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My nose? Where's my nose? Ahh!

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Oh, for goodness' sake.

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SQUEAK

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Yes! I'm normal again!

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I wouldn't go that far.

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Chief? Look!

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Activate all Danger Weapons.

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At last, the world sends its champion!

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Oh, it's you again.

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Fire!

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BANG

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Ruuuun!

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BOOM

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THUMP

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Don't worry, Squawk'll have something to...

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SQUAWK SCREAMS

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SHE ROARS

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-We're running out of options.

-We need Merlin's magic staff.

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It's a dark day as the Queen of Weevils wreaks havoc across...

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You sure we haven't met?

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HIGH-PITCHED: Um...Pretty sure.

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Meanwhile, our heroes seek Merlin's tomb.

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-SHE GASPS

-They're after his Staff of Power!

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Where is the secret tomb?

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In the secret tomb theme park.

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This is an important national site. Look how tacky they've made it!

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It's amazing!

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They've even got candy Merlin beards.

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Yes, well, shall we go inside?

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ROBOTIC VOICE: Greetings, I'm Galahad you came.

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Let me show you my magic staff.

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RUMBLING

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Ahahahahaha!

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Chief, there's the magic staff! Blast her with it!

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There must be a switch. Staff on!

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You can't switch it on! It's magic!

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There's no such thing as magic!

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Bring out the staff, its trickery cannot help you!

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Behold, ye Merlin comes ye forth.

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Hmm. I sense no magic from you.

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Very well, I shall steal the nose from your very face.

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SHE SCREAMS

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No-one can wield such power.

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He tears apart the laws of nature with abandon.

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Mighty magician, can we not make a deal?

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Never! For I am Merlin.

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CLUNK

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Caught it, Chief... I mean, Merlin!

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So, about that deal...

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No deal!

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CLICK

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PENFOLD ROARS

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No, Penfold!

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How dare you marginally damage

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Penfold's looks without his permission?

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And you shall be buried forever with your pink beard.

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Ahh!

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THUMP

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There must be a way. Come on! Work!

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I'll do anything if you help me save Penfold!

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I'll even believe in magic.

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RUMBLING

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It works!

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Is this because I said I believe in magic? I do!

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I do believe in magic!

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Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most powerful of them all?

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I think that would be me.

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ZAP

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SHE SCREAMS

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Impressive!

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But will you fight your own friends?

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THEY ROAR AND BARK

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Ahahahaha!

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Yes, it looks like magical curtains for Danger Mouse!

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I remember now!

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I spent a millennium in prison because of you!

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Ah, yes, I'm really sorry. You see, I thought I was on the wrong show.

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I will have my revenge!

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CHOKING: No! Can't we talk about this?

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Your Majesty, it's been magical.

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No! Not again!

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And this time,

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I'll trap you in something more sturdy than a crystal prison.

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Available in all good toy shops.

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-Put the staff down, Chief.

-No way!

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I've got magic powers! Ha-ha!

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By the power of Danger Mouse, give us a cup of tea and WAFFLES.

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WHOOSH

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-Oh.

-Battery ran out. It'll take 1,000 years to recharge.

-Battery?

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-But it's a magic staff.

-You call it a magic staff,

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I call it a high-powered electronic weapon with a concealed On Switch.

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Oh, well, of course I knew that.

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There you are, DM! Turn me back to normal, there's a good chap.

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No problem, Colonel. We just have to wait 1,000 years

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-for the staff to recharge.

-Aw...

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Yes, the world has been saved.

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But how long before the Queen of Weevils rises again?

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Trust me, it won't be long,

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because they spent a fortune on that costume.

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-ECHOING:

-I will have my revenge!

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# He's the greatest He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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BOOM

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