Wicked Leaks Danger Mouse


Wicked Leaks

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Chief!

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# He's the greatest He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest He's the quickest

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# He's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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Midnight, and way past my bedtime.

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YAWN Night, night.

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BANG Ah! What did I miss?

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A daring heist with two master criminals.

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Ow!

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Make that one master criminal and one master idiot.

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Tongue identified.

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Ew, I hate doing that.

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Ahh!

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THEY LAUGH

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Ha! This is just too easy.

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We'll catch the Baron up after one more game. A-ha! Got him.

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Surveillance selfie!

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CAMERA CLICKS

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I'll just post this on Spamchops.

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You know, I'm so glad you got that new phone,

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because it's not at all annoying(!)

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BOING BOING BOING

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BUZZ

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PHONE BEEPS

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Ha!

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-Good grief.

-I know.

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Three whole likes for that post.

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Whoa!

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NERO LAUGHS

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There's three of them.

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Time to use Squawkencluck's new gadget.

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Finally, we get to use

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the Universal High-Frequency Duck Caller.

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I meant the Inflato-Cops.

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SIRENS

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Tested to be 99% convincing.

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Police! We have you surrounded.

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Warning. I am not a toy.

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PHONE BEEPS

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Ah, Danger Mouse, nice of you and your friends to hop in.

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Mwa-ha-ha!

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Ow!

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TAPPING

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What you had for tea, a quip about my driving,

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the inflatable cops...

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Penfold, don't tell me ANYONE can see these posts.

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Uh, OK, chief, I won't.

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Losing Greenback AND the diamond?

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It's incompetent, unprofessional...

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Uh, what else means useless?

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HE MUMBLES

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Lettuce... Idiotic! Good one. Ludicrous! That's excellent.

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Um, piece of toast?

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HE SCREAMS

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-Huh?

-The chief's developed a crust phobia.

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Horrible things.

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High in calories, AND they make your hair curl.

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THEY LAUGH

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Really, Penfold, you have to stop this.

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We can't share details of our secret agent lives in public.

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Oh.

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SIREN

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The diamond's been located! Recover it fast, DM.

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And no more leaks!

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Oh, one more post can't hurt.

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We can't just rush in. We need to be stealthy. Clever. Discreet.

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CAMERA CLICKS

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Huh?

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Uh, just doing my pre-mission stretches. I swear by them.

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Ah, superb.

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Now, here's the plan.

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BOTH: Aaaahhh!

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BOTH: Ow! Oh! Ah!

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Cor, someone should have a word with the council about that pavement.

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That was no accident.

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They knew we were coming,

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and my instincts say

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we're being watched right now.

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We must do and say nothing to compromise the mission.

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Righto, chief.

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Mwa-ha-ha!

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The internet.

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Every modern megalomaniac's best friend.

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Well, that and free Wi-Fi.

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You can't just sit there all day without a drink you know, mate.

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One soy milk latte, the smallest you do, and two straws.

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There. The mouse trap is set.

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Activate the Drill of Evil!

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Mwa-ha-ha!

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BOTH: Aaaahh!

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If there's one thing that worries me, Penfold,

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it's buildings that suddenly turn upside down.

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Let's get out of here! That way!

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I was thinking more of an escape through the razor-sharp, spiky cogs.

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It'll look better. Come on.

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"SO not supposed to be posting,

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"but the Chief is about to run through the inside of a clock.

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"Mega lolz."

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HE LAUGHS

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My plan is running like...clockwork.

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Reconfiguring room for maximum resistance.

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Prepare for the mouse-pocalypse.

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HE LAUGHS

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We're closing soon, my handsome.

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I am right in the middle of an evil plan!

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HE TUTS

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Some people, honestly.

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This...room...knows...

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exactly...what...I'm...

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going...to...do.

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It's almost as if you're still posting everything on Spamchops.

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Posting? Everything?

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HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

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BOTH: Whoa-aaah!

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Mwa-ha-ha!

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Greenback! I have one question.

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What on Earth are you doing in a coffee shop?

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-It's just a chilled space to work in, man.

-We're closed!

-Silence!

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And two, why are you using Big Ben as a giant diamond-tipped drill

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to bore through the Earth?

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Oh, I don't know. Could be something to do with

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the thousands of tonnes of gold in the Earth's core.

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And the best part?

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Not only do I say, "Hello" to infinite gold,

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I say, "Bye-bye" to Danger Mouse!

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Mwa-ha-ha.

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Never fear, Penfold.

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This thing must have an off switch.

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A-ha!

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Aaah!

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Not so fast, Danger Mouse.

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Say hello to your greatest fear.

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Oh, and thanks for sharing everything,

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Penfold.

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CLANKING

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BOTH: Aaah!

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Crusts! Greenback, you monster.

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Aaah! Ah, ah, aaah!

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What have I done? I'm a Spam-aholic.

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I'm even still posting now.

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Good grief. Ah!

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And so, our heroes head to the centre of the Earth

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in a wheaty drill made from Big Ben.

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Can anything save them?

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The Universal Duck Caller!

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Oh, yes, of course.

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KAZOO FANFARE

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QUACKING

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CAMERA CLICKS

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QUACKING

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Oh, I have got to post this.

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Uh, maybe after we stop this drill piercing the Earth's core?

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Yeah, OK, fine.

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No, no, no, there must be an off button. Gah!

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BOTH: Aaah!

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Oh, crumbs.

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Penfold?

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What can I say?

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I'm addicted to my phone.

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"Goodbye, world. Hashtag #Itsbeengreatknowingyou, lol."

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Of course! There must be Wi-Fi down here.

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We're far too deep for ordinary transmissions.

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The Baron must be controlling this drill online!

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Penfold, catch!

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Chief, that's the first time I've ever caught anything!

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Tell the world about it, now!

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-Really?

-Share everything.

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Stupid pictures, cute kittens, top 10 best superfood smoothies,

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endless videos of people falling off skateboards...

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-You've seen my timeline, then?

-Do it, Penfold.

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You're the only one who can stop this.

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Ooh! Ah!

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Ahh!

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SIRENS

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Police. We have you surrounded.

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Penfold. Faster!

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HE LAUGHS

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Huh?

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Uh! Ah!

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Aaahh!

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Ahh!

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No, no, no, no!

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I've lost connection with the drill. It's stopped working.

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Something's wrong with your stupid free Wi-Fi!

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Do something!

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Huh! Ha!

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I think you've overstayed your welcome, mate.

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Um. Another soy...latte?

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With two straws?

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BEEPING This national monument is reversing.

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This national monument is reversing.

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We did it!

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Oops.

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HELICOPTERS WHIR

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Ah, DM. Good show!

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Lucky we keep a spare Big Ben,

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for just such eventualities!

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Don't worry, I won't tell anyone.

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Actually, Penfold, this is one moment I think you SHOULD share.

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Oh! A new phone!

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Selfie!

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And so the world is saved once more from the fiendish plans

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of Baron Greenback by the daring of our heroes,

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for no matter what the peril, you can always count on...

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-Get on with it!

-..the world's greatest secret agent, Danger Mouse.

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CAMERA CLICKS

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger

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# He'll be there

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# Danger Mouse Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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