The Cute Shall Inherit the Earth Danger Mouse


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The Cute Shall Inherit the Earth

Animated series. Cute kittens are infiltrating positions of authority all around the world. Are they the feline equivalent of the illuminati?


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Chief!

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# He's the greatest, he's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger he'll be there

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-# He's the ace

-The ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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BOOM!

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Queen and country. Pie and mash.

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Torrential rain and gale-force winds.

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Just a few of the double acts that make Great Britain great.

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But greatest of them all...

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Danger Mouse and Penfold.

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Aaaaaaaaaargh!

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ZAP!

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-Hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

-ZAP!

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Hoo-hoo-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Oui, oui! Tres bien!

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Aaaaaaargh!

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Honestly, Penfold.

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Remember you're part of the world's number one crime-fighting duo.

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Defeating evil isn't enough.

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We have to look awesome while we're doing it.

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Engage cheese cloak.

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Eeeuuuuugh!

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It stinks!

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Yes, but when le Camembert sees this, he won't be able to resist.

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What is zis cheesy dream? I zink I am in love.

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Come here, you cheesy temptress.

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Chief! Do something!

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I don't want to end up on toast!

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Activating cheese wire.

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Sacre bleu cheese!

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-Mmmm.

-MUNCH MUNCH

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Well done, us. This calls for...

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Two extra large meat unspecifieds, please, Mike.

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-PURR

-Aaaawwww!

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Mike's retired.

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We've got sardines, double sardine and sardine tuna,

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only we're out of tuna, so it'll have to be sardine.

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Lucky I like sardine.

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Hmmm.

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There's something fishy here.

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Mmmm.

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Could be the double sardine.

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No, they're towing our car!

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You can't do that! I paid and displayed!

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MEOW

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Aaaawwww!

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This is illegal ticketing.

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Officer!

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-PURR PURR

-Never mind!

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-Come on, Penfold.

-Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

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Emergency, DM!

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My office, pronto.

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I knew it. On our way, Colonel.

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This is a matter of national importance, DM.

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I don't suppose it's got something to do with cats?

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PURRING

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What?! No! I need to choose a new blazer!

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I was innocently indulging

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in the canteen's three-day "all you can eat" buffet,

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and the next thing you know, the blazer's shrunk.

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I desperately need your help, DM.

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Herringbone or cashmere twill?

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Excellent.

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Many thanks, DM, and...

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Bunfork.

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Dismissed.

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MEOW

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Actually, there was something else.

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This might sound odd,

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but I think there's something sinister going on with...

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-MEOW!

-..cats!

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-MEOW

-Ah-ha! They're spying on us!

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Stand down, DM. Mandy is my new secretary.

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She makes a great cup of tea, types 100 words a minute,

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and doesn't mind ironing my underpants.

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Rrrrrreowrrr.

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I'm terribly sorry, Mandy.

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That's OK, Danger Mouse.

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-(Now, stay out of our way.)

-THUNDER

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(The prophecy will be fulfilled. The cute shall inherit the Earth.)

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Ah-choo!

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-Heh-heh-heh-heh.

-Aaaaawwwww.

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Hmmmm.

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I expected a bit more support, that's all.

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I'm sorry, Chief, I just don't like herringbone.

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I meant about the cats!

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I told you what she said to me.

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Yeah, but she said it with such a lovely look on her face.

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There's Mandy. Let's follow her and find out what's going on.

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Aaaawwwww. Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee!

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MANDY GASPS

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Our cover's blown! After her!

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Help! Help! They're chasing me!

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No time for autographs, we're in hot pursuit.

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We don't want autographs, mate.

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We want you to stop picking on that sweet, innocent cat.

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I don't pick on, I pursue, impressively.

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I'm Danger Mouse.

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Yeah, I know who you are, mate.

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I'm in the show every other week. Now back off!

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-Boo!

-Boo!

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You can't boo me. I'm the hero, she's the villain!

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Ow! He poked me in the eye!

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Leave her alone, you big bully!

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I...I didn't touch her!

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She's faking it!

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Hang on, where did she go?

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There she...

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Come on.

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Catacombs. I should have guessed.

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MEOW!

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PUNCH! THWACK!

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Feline brothers and sisters, the time of the prophecy is at hand.

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Pussowksi, ominous music, please.

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DISSONANT CHORDS

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Ha! Brilliant!

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For thousands of years we have slept in the shadows,

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and occasionally in the wash-basket, but our time is at hand.

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At 3:32 on Tuesday 12th in the 73rd Year Of The Tabby,

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the cute shall inherit the Earth!

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It's not a very catchy deadline, is it?

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That's in 100 minutes.

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Ooh, a ticking clock! That's a nice bit of tension.

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-Right, Penfold, let's start knocking some heads together.

-But Chief,

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they're just a bunch of cute cats in dressing gowns.

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Behold our army!

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Hahaha!

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Priceless!

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Penfold, there's an army of cats ready to take over the world!

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Although they may need a few more soldiers than that.

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Hang on. Switch isn't working.

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Yes, that might do it.

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-CATS HISS AND GROWL

-Uh-oh.

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Penfold, run! We've got to get out and warn everyone!

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Would it really be so bad if they took over?

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I mean, look at their little sweet faces.

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Don't look at them, Penfold!

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CATS GROWL

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I called the car by remote, it'll be waiting by the exit.

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-I'll catch you up.

-Crumbs!

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Activate Danger Distraction.

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That ought to slow them down.

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CATS COO AND GIGGLE

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Penfold?

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The prophecy will be fulfilled, and there's nothing you can do.

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Penfold!

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Try to look past the cuteness!

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It's so hard to choose.

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On the one hand, you and I have been best friends for years,

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saving each other's lives countless times.

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On the other hand, she just coughed up a furball and it was hilarious.

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Sorry, Chief. No contest.

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The cute shall inherit the Earth!

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Ah, DM. Just wanted to let you know that we've replaced you with a cat.

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I'm sure you don't mind. They do look cute, don't they?

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But Colonel...!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-meeeeooooow!

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I've changed my mind!

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Too late.

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Ah!

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Meow?

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Who-o-o-o-o-o-oa!

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Chieeeeeeeeeeef!

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Activate Danger Bouncy Castle!

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Chief! I'm...sorry.

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Don't worry, Penfold.

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Their cuteness is irresistible.

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You know, I've come to a conclusion about all this.

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Don't let looks deceive you.

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No, although, good point.

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No, if cuteness is irresistible,

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then we need something cuter than those cats,

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and I know just the thing.

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What is this place?

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It's a top secret training centre for the Danger Agents of the future.

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May I present the Danger Babies.

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Danger Foal, Danger Puppy, Danger Piglet, Danger Ellie,

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and...aawww, Danger Chick.

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They are the cutest things I have ever seen!

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Exactly.

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-Are we nearly there yet?

-No.

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-Are we nearly there yet?

-No.

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I need a wee-wee.

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Not in the car!

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TRICKLING

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Ha-ha, you're too late!

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The time of the prophecy is at hand.

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Nothing can defeat our cuteness.

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We'll see about that.

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SHE HISSES

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Attack!

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Remember your training, baby agents.

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We mostly do colouring in.

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-Aaaawww!

-Aaaaaww!

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Hee-hee-hee!

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-Aaaaawww!

-Aaaaawww!

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No! No, attack!

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Remember the prophecy!

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The cute shall inherit the Earth!

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The prophecy was right. It just wasn't about you.

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SHE HISSES

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Get out of the way, Dumbo!

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Argh!

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-Aaaaaww!

-Aaaawww!

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They're so sweet.

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You know something, Penfold - looks really can be deceiving.

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It's what's inside that really counts.

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Here, what are you doing?

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-Posing for my close-up.

-PENFOLD SIGHS

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Come on, then. Let's get you all home to bed.

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I needed a wee-wee.

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Right.

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-What do you mean, "needed"?

-THE DANGER BABIES LAUGH

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And so Danger Mouse, Penfold and the Danger Babies

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have saved the world and...

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Actually, I wonder if they've got anyone to do the narrator

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in the Danger Babies' spin-off yet?

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I am available, and I would bring my own biscuits.

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# He's the greatest,

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# He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger

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# He'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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BOOM!

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Cute kittens are infiltrating positions of authority all around the world. Are they the feline equivalent of the illuminati, or do they just want to make napping compulsory?