The Spy Who Came in with a Cold Danger Mouse
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
CHIEF! | 0:00:05 | 0:00:07 | |
# He's the greatest, he's fantastic | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
# Wherever there is danger he'll be there | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
-# He's the ace -The ace | 0:00:14 | 0:00:16 | |
-# He's amazing -Amazing | 0:00:16 | 0:00:17 | |
# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:24 | 0:00:26 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:00:26 | 0:00:31 | |
BOOM | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
London! The end of another ordinary day for the ordinary people. | 0:00:38 | 0:00:43 | |
But what of the extraordinary people? What of Danger Mouse? | 0:00:43 | 0:00:47 | |
Seriously. Does anyone know? | 0:00:47 | 0:00:48 | |
I got the script very late, I haven't had a chance to... | 0:00:48 | 0:00:50 | |
WHOA THERE! Back up! What?! | 0:00:50 | 0:00:52 | |
HORNS BLARE | 0:00:52 | 0:00:53 | |
Has the world's greatest secret agent been reduced to...? | 0:00:53 | 0:00:55 | |
Directing traffic. I ask you, is there anything more dull? | 0:00:55 | 0:00:59 | |
I quite like it, Chief. Ha-ha! I think I'm a natural. | 0:00:59 | 0:01:03 | |
CRASH | 0:01:03 | 0:01:05 | |
Anyway, we haven't got a choice, have we? | 0:01:05 | 0:01:09 | |
The Colonel said we had to help out because all the police are off sick. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
Sick of their boring jobs! Oh! What I wouldn't give for a little... | 0:01:12 | 0:01:16 | |
RUMBLING | 0:01:16 | 0:01:18 | |
ELEPHANTS TRUMPET | 0:01:19 | 0:01:21 | |
Elephant stampede! | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
That's what I call "heavy traffic". Hmm... | 0:01:27 | 0:01:30 | |
Funny, they were very well-dressed for a herd of elephants. Penfold? | 0:01:30 | 0:01:34 | |
Huh. I hate elephants. | 0:01:34 | 0:01:37 | |
Why do you hate them so much? | 0:01:37 | 0:01:39 | |
Did something happen to you as a child? | 0:01:39 | 0:01:41 | |
You mean...the incident. | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
We don't talk about the incident. | 0:01:44 | 0:01:48 | |
That'll be important later. Come on, Penfold. | 0:01:48 | 0:01:51 | |
-Time we got on with doing what we do best! -Jigsaws! | 0:01:51 | 0:01:54 | |
No, the other thing. | 0:01:54 | 0:01:56 | |
PENFOLD SCREAMS | 0:01:58 | 0:02:00 | |
HE SNEEZES | 0:02:00 | 0:02:02 | |
Major crisis, DM, and it is sick! | 0:02:02 | 0:02:05 | |
Bad sick or good sick, Colonel? | 0:02:05 | 0:02:07 | |
-Sick as in wicked! -Um... Bad wicked or good wicked, Colonel? | 0:02:07 | 0:02:10 | |
Oh, I don't know! It's so hard to keep up! | 0:02:10 | 0:02:14 | |
I'll let the Professor explain. I'm going for a lie down. | 0:02:14 | 0:02:18 | |
Listen to me, whatever you do, stay away from crowded places! | 0:02:18 | 0:02:22 | |
COUGHING AND SNEEZING | 0:02:22 | 0:02:24 | |
-And that's important, is it? -It's vital! | 0:02:24 | 0:02:27 | |
There's been a mass outbreak of...elephant flu! | 0:02:27 | 0:02:31 | |
Hah. It'll take more than a few germs to scare us, eh, Penfold? | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
MUFFLED SPEECH | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
-Pardon? -I said, "Speak for yourself, Chief." | 0:02:37 | 0:02:40 | |
The progress of the infection is rapid. | 0:02:42 | 0:02:44 | |
From mild symptoms to full-blown jumbo in less than a day. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
I wouldn't like to meet him in a dark alley. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
How dare you, Danger Mouse! | 0:02:50 | 0:02:52 | |
DANGER MOUSE GASPS | 0:02:52 | 0:02:53 | |
-Colonel! What happened to you? -Me? Nothing! | 0:02:53 | 0:02:56 | |
-I'm right as rain. -I haven't told him yet. -Understood. | 0:02:56 | 0:03:00 | |
I won't say a word. So what about a cure for the Colonel? Colonels. Ah! | 0:03:00 | 0:03:04 | |
-The Colonels. Ones who DO have elephant flu. -There is no antidote. | 0:03:04 | 0:03:08 | |
No? So what do you call THIS?! | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
Oh! Oh! Oops! Ah! | 0:03:12 | 0:03:15 | |
I really hope he's got a spare. | 0:03:15 | 0:03:17 | |
Hang on, I've got one somewhere. Um... | 0:03:17 | 0:03:21 | |
Um... Ah! This! That's right, Danger Fools. | 0:03:21 | 0:03:26 | |
The epidemic is the work of I, Baron von Greenback. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:29 | |
Starting in London, the disease will spread to the whole planet | 0:03:29 | 0:03:33 | |
unless you make me the ruler of the world! Mwuhahahaha! | 0:03:33 | 0:03:39 | |
I won't let you get away with this, Baron! | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
HE SNEEZES | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
Are you sure you wouldn't rather have a lie down? Mwuhahahaha! | 0:03:43 | 0:03:46 | |
-Are you all right, Chief? -Don't worry! | 0:03:46 | 0:03:48 | |
I've trained my body in the microscopic martial art | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
of Germ Jitsu. I am immune to all... | 0:03:51 | 0:03:53 | |
HE SNEEZES | 0:03:53 | 0:03:55 | |
Ah! Professor! Do something! | 0:03:55 | 0:03:59 | |
I'm sorry, Greenback has the only antidote. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:01 | |
SHE SNEEZES | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
At least we're unaffected, eh, Primrose? | 0:04:03 | 0:04:07 | |
There's still time to get that antidote. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:09 | |
HE TRUMPET SNEEZES | 0:04:09 | 0:04:11 | |
AH! | 0:04:11 | 0:04:12 | |
Have I got something on my face? | 0:04:12 | 0:04:14 | |
BEEP BEEP | 0:04:17 | 0:04:18 | |
Penfold, is that really necessary? | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
-What if you're too poorly to stop the Baron, Chief? -Really, Penfold! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:24 | |
-Do I look ill? -Um... You have gone a bit...grey. | 0:04:24 | 0:04:29 | |
Oh! Typical elephants! | 0:04:29 | 0:04:32 | |
-Always causing trouble! -What's your problem with elephants anyway? | 0:04:32 | 0:04:35 | |
-What happened? -You mean...the incident? -Yes. | 0:04:35 | 0:04:41 | |
I was only a child. I spent my childhood travelling - | 0:04:41 | 0:04:47 | |
Neasden, Kilburn, Willesden Green. | 0:04:47 | 0:04:50 | |
By the age of six I'd seen most of central north-west London, | 0:04:50 | 0:04:54 | |
-but I was happy. -Is this a long story? | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
-The world IS in the grip of an epidemic. -You asked. | 0:04:57 | 0:04:59 | |
Just, you know, highlights. | 0:04:59 | 0:05:02 | |
I was happy until one fateful day, shortly after I learned to speak... | 0:05:02 | 0:05:07 | |
..and those are my top 50 pencils. | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
My parents accidentally left me by the side of the road | 0:05:10 | 0:05:15 | |
and drove off really fast. | 0:05:15 | 0:05:17 | |
I was adopted by a circus. They made me part of the elephants act. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:24 | |
-And that's why you hate elephants? -No! It was amazing! | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
I was so happy until one day, | 0:05:29 | 0:05:33 | |
shortly after I learned the harmonica, they accidentally | 0:05:33 | 0:05:36 | |
hurled me onto a passing cargo ship crewed entirely by elephants. | 0:05:36 | 0:05:41 | |
They put me to work in the boiler room. | 0:05:41 | 0:05:44 | |
-And that's why you hate elephants! -Best time of my life! | 0:05:44 | 0:05:49 | |
WHY DO YOU HATE ELEPHANTS?! | 0:05:50 | 0:05:53 | |
You know Felicity in Colonel K's office? | 0:05:53 | 0:05:57 | |
The secretary who accidentally sat on you? | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
Two days I was under there! | 0:06:00 | 0:06:04 | |
-I call it the Dark Time. -Good name. | 0:06:04 | 0:06:08 | |
I'll use it for the time I spent listening to your story. | 0:06:08 | 0:06:12 | |
-Ah, we're there! -Where? -The Baron's hideout. | 0:06:12 | 0:06:15 | |
To avoid contracting elephant flu himself, | 0:06:15 | 0:06:17 | |
he's been hiding in the one place he knew there would be no crowds. | 0:06:17 | 0:06:20 | |
Stationary World of Fun! | 0:06:20 | 0:06:24 | |
Who on earth would visit a theme park dedicated to stationary? | 0:06:24 | 0:06:29 | |
-Hmm. -I've got lifetime membership. | 0:06:29 | 0:06:33 | |
Well, don't you look silly? | 0:06:33 | 0:06:36 | |
Says the toad in the big bubble! | 0:06:36 | 0:06:38 | |
You mean my totally elephant flu-proof plastic sphere? ATTACK! | 0:06:38 | 0:06:42 | |
Ha! Like I can't dodge a big plastic ball! | 0:06:44 | 0:06:47 | |
HE TRUMPET SNEEZES | 0:06:47 | 0:06:49 | |
AH! | 0:06:50 | 0:06:52 | |
Ow! Ow! Ow, ow! | 0:06:55 | 0:07:00 | |
Getting old now. | 0:07:00 | 0:07:02 | |
MUFFLED SPEECH | 0:07:03 | 0:07:05 | |
-What? -Use the trunk, Chief! | 0:07:05 | 0:07:08 | |
The antidote! | 0:07:20 | 0:07:23 | |
Even when I should be taking a sick day, | 0:07:23 | 0:07:25 | |
I'm more than a match for you, Baron! | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
HE TRUMPET SNEEZES | 0:07:28 | 0:07:30 | |
-AHH! -Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! -Hee-hee-hee-hee! | 0:07:30 | 0:07:33 | |
Too slow, Danger Mouse, or should I say, "Danger Elephant"? | 0:07:33 | 0:07:38 | |
HE SNEEZES | 0:07:38 | 0:07:40 | |
THEY SNEEZE | 0:07:40 | 0:07:42 | |
-Ahhhhhh...! -Oh, crumbs! | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
ELEPHANTS TRUMPET AND STAMPEDE | 0:07:45 | 0:07:48 | |
This is the end of civilisation. | 0:07:48 | 0:07:49 | |
-The whole world is infected. -Everyone except you, Penfold. | 0:07:49 | 0:07:54 | |
Ah, well, I've taken precautions. | 0:07:54 | 0:07:56 | |
The mask, the disinfectant, the gloves... | 0:07:56 | 0:07:59 | |
All of which you left at the theme park. | 0:07:59 | 0:08:02 | |
Penfold's DNA is 100% elephant flu-proof! He's immune! | 0:08:02 | 0:08:08 | |
Just like me! | 0:08:08 | 0:08:11 | |
-Eh... Yes. -Oh, absolutely, Colonel. -If you say so. -It's not possible. | 0:08:11 | 0:08:15 | |
To develop this resistance, you'd have to have been subjected | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
to elephant particles under extreme pressure | 0:08:18 | 0:08:21 | |
while sealed in a hot place for 48 hours. | 0:08:21 | 0:08:24 | |
Well, Felicity sat on me for two days. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:28 | |
That would do it. | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
The good news is, I can make an antidote from your DNA. | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
Will it hurt? | 0:08:33 | 0:08:34 | |
HE SCREAMS | 0:08:34 | 0:08:36 | |
DING | 0:08:38 | 0:08:39 | |
Now we just need to distribute it to the rest of the world! | 0:08:41 | 0:08:44 | |
HE GROANS | 0:08:44 | 0:08:45 | |
-I'll do it. -You can barely walk. | 0:08:45 | 0:08:48 | |
Penfold, it's up to you to save the planet. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:54 | |
Oh, crumbs. | 0:08:54 | 0:08:56 | |
Hurry, Penfold. | 0:08:57 | 0:08:58 | |
You need to drop the antidote into the city's water supply. | 0:08:58 | 0:09:02 | |
On my way, Professor. | 0:09:02 | 0:09:04 | |
Watch out for the dung pile! Whoa! House! Elephants' bottoms! | 0:09:07 | 0:09:11 | |
It's Felicity all over again! | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
Penfold, reverse! Reverse! | 0:09:16 | 0:09:19 | |
The Dark Time. | 0:09:19 | 0:09:21 | |
Penfold, there's no need to be scared of an elephant's bottom - | 0:09:21 | 0:09:24 | |
apart from all the obvious reasons. | 0:09:24 | 0:09:26 | |
The Dark Time. The Dark Time. | 0:09:26 | 0:09:30 | |
Penfold, use the wings! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
I did it, Chief! I did it! | 0:09:36 | 0:09:39 | |
Hands on the wheel, Penfold. | 0:09:39 | 0:09:41 | |
We're here! | 0:09:47 | 0:09:48 | |
I can't believe I'm going to save the world all on my own. Ha! | 0:09:48 | 0:09:52 | |
BIRD GROANS | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
PENFOLD GASPS | 0:10:03 | 0:10:05 | |
Hee-hee-hee. Now that was close. | 0:10:07 | 0:10:10 | |
And so the antidote has been distributed worldwide | 0:10:10 | 0:10:14 | |
and the great elephant flu pandemic is over. | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
All that remains is the small matter of an apology. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:20 | |
Penfold feels bad about all the nasty things | 0:10:20 | 0:10:22 | |
he said about elephants. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:24 | |
After all, in a way, Felicity sitting on him saved the world. | 0:10:24 | 0:10:27 | |
Quite right. Well, here she is. He can tell her himself. | 0:10:27 | 0:10:32 | |
Penfold? | 0:10:32 | 0:10:33 | |
Penfold? | 0:10:35 | 0:10:36 | |
-MUFFLED: -The Dark Time. The Dark Time! | 0:10:36 | 0:10:40 | |
THEY LAUGH | 0:10:40 | 0:10:41 | |
Join us again for another crushingly exciting | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
jumbo episode of Danger Mouse! | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
# He's the greatest He's fantastic | 0:10:49 | 0:10:52 | |
# Wherever there is danger he'll be there | 0:10:52 | 0:10:55 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:10:55 | 0:10:58 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:10:58 | 0:11:01 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:11:01 | 0:11:05 | |
BOOM | 0:11:07 | 0:11:09 |