Agent 58 Danger Mouse


Agent 58

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Chief!

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# He's the greatest

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# He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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# He's the ace

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-# He's amazing

-Amazing

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# He's the strongest, He's the quickest

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# He's the best

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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BANG!

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It's a quiet morning in London.

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And the day is off to a slow start.

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But not for Danger Mouse! BEEP BEEP!

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He starts every day with a bang!

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HE GASPS

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Hauh! Hah!

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Hiyah!

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Ah! Another perfect morning workout.

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Oh, well done, Penfold.

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This is the first time you've ever been up before me.

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Sorry I'm late, Chief.

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-I slept through the alarm.

-Hang on.

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Well, if you're here...then who's that?

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-DANGER MOUSE GASPS

-Security breach!

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-Hauh!

-Ah-hah!

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Ha! Ha!

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Ah, DM. I see you've met Agent 58.

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He's your new sidekick.

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Pleasure to be on the team.

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Colonel, I do already have a sidekick.

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You remember Penfold?

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TING!

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Nope! Never seen him before in my life.

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Eh, what did you say his name was? Beanfork?

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Well, I think you'll prefer this one, DM.

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He's got six arms, and he's the son of my old partner,

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the best sidekick ever - Agent 57.

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My only goal is to be as good a sidekick as my father.

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I live for danger. Nothing can stop me!

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GULP!

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-All the same, sir, I think I'll stick with Beanfork.

-Hmmm.

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Well, you're the boss. Or am I the boss?

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Anyway, I've got a top secret mission for you.

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Professor!

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Isambard King Kong Brunel has developed a device that can

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instantaneously detonate a thousand megatons of custard.

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Just one bomb could cover half the world in a sea of thick,

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choking, scrumptious, custard.

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Brunel's planning to sell it to the highest bidder at this year's

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Crimicon convention.

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So, we just sneak in and nab it, eh?

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Eeeexactly, DM.

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If it falls into the wrong hands,

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we'll all end up with egg-based pudding on our faces.

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Villainous fans attend Crimicon dressed as their favourite

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super villains, so I've created some suitable costumes for you.

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Yippee!

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There's something strange about that Agent 58, Chief.

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Hmmm, says the hamster dressed as a panda. Come on, let's get in there.

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Now, don't forget, they'll all villains, so act evil,

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and turn your phone to mute.

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Wouldn't an evil person have their phone turned up loud?

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Activate eye patch. Call Penfold.

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DANGER MOUSE THEME PLAYS

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Yeeeahhh, it is a bit of a giveaway.

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Get my new autobiography! It's one for the price of two!

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He made it all up! No refunds!

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Ooo-ooo-ahh-ahh ahh! Ahh!

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Now, there's King Kong Brunel, but I can't see the custard bomb.

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LLAMA LAUGHS MECHANICALLY

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PENFOLD LAUGHS

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Laugh all you like! My guard llama is the future of home security!

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Oh, crumbs!

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-Excuse me, I've heard you've got a custard bomb.

-It is not a bomb!

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It just creates a huge amount of delicious custard!

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Enough to destroy the planet?

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Well, the real Baron Greenback didn't have

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a problem when I sold it to him.

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Greenback?!

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Greetings, citizens of earth, and all my friends at Crimicon!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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For years, I have been plotting the takeover of the earth.

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Now, finally, thanks to my custard bomb, I shall achieve mein aim!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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If the governments of the world do not surrender to

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-me in just one hour...

-Hour.

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..you will all get your just desserts!

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-Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

-Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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I shall now take questions from the audience.

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Aw, hey, I'm a big fan. But won't Danger Mouse stop...

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Don't mention Danger Mouse!

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DANGER MOUSE THEME PLAYS

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Eh, I can't talk now!

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I'm on a mission!

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Danger Mouse!

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THE CROWD GASP

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No autographs!

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GREENBACK GASPS

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A perfect opportunity to demonstrate my guard llama.

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Run away, Chief?

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Tactical retreat, Penfold.

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Ah! We lost him, Chief.

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If I can't lose a robot llama in a busy city, I'll eat my badge.

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Do you want your badge cooked, or are you going to eat it raw?

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Only one thing getting cooked, Penfold, and it's that llama.

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Agent 58?!

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You're a shapeshifter!

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No, I'm a mimic octopus.

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We don't like the term "shapeshifter",

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it sounds rather...shifty.

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You are shifty!

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If you were the llama, why were you chasing us?

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I had to make it look real after you let your phone go off. Dumb-dumb.

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I could have sworn it was on mute.

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Whatever!

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All that matters is I got the custard bomb.

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DM! 58's gone missing. If I find him I'll wring his...

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Hands, warmly, and say, "Well done!"

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Not over yet, Colonel.

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While Penfold was busy blowing our cover,

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I discovered a stockpile of other dessert-based weapons.

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The Baron's got a nuclear trifle and a ballistic blancmange.

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There's enough power here to feed and/or destroy the world ten

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-times over.

-Get back in there, DM.

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-And I'm appointing Agent 58 as your new sidekick.

-Ha-ha!

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-But what about Penfold?

-He's a liability. Leave him behind.

-Never!

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Penfold comes too.

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You'd be surprised how much use he is when we're in serious danger.

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Yeah!

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Sorry, just how serious is this danger?

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You need a proper sidekick, Chief.

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And I intend to prove that I am your octopus.

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Sorry, 58, but the job is Penfold's.

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He's got me out of more scrapes than I can count. Three.

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Ooh! Well, I can count them.

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You see! He's captured Danger Mouse and Penfold!

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-And you said a guard llama was a stupid idea.

-It is a stupid idea.

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I am Agent 58,

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and you are all under arrest!

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Arrgh!

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Arrgh!

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Aaaiiieee!

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If you want to arrest me, you'll have to get past my fans first.

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A room full of Greenbacks to battle?

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-Ha! Is it Christmas?!

-Hang on.

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I've got an idea.

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Hey-a, Ding Dong? What's the best a-weapon you got, huh?

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-I've got to fight-a the Danger Mouse.

-I suppose the Mathmetron.

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It works like a calculator,

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except it really subtracts and multiplies things.

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So, set it to divide...

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Ahhhhhh!

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Pull yourself together, Brunel!

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Nice heroic quip there, 58.

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Now, subtract that cage.

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Yaaaah!

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-Hee-hee-hee!

-Hee-hee-hee!

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I'm coming, Chief!

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Oh, no! I'm saving Danger Mouse from now on.

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Subtract!

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Huh?

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Here! What about me?

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Bumpies!

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-Curse you, Danger Mouse!

-You do the honours, 58.

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One square root of Baron Greenback coming up.

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No! I hate maths!

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Waaaah!

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-Well done, 58. You saved the world!

-Oh, thanks, Chief.

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And now that I'm your sidekick we can do this every day.

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We'll be like best friends.

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I'm sorry, 58. This doesn't change anything.

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I already have a sidekick, and a best friend.

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I'm here, Chief!

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Well, if I can't be the best sidekick, I'll be the best agent!

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And that means replacing you!

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-Multiply by 100!

-Don't do it!

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Good luck defusing that lot.

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MECHANICAL LAUGH

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Times ten!

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Goodbye, Danger Mouse!

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Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Penfold. The situation looks a TRIFLE desperate!

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Arrgh!

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Hang on! Why haven't they fired?

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Penfold!

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You being completely harmless has saved us!

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Keep them busy while I defuse the trifle.

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Colonel. Penfold and Danger Mouse, they...

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They got blown up by a trifle of mass destruction.

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But, the good news is, I survived. So, I can be your new top agent. OK?

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Bad news about being blown up, DM.

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I'm sure I'll get over it, Colonel.

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58? We're taking you into

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-"custardy".

-Oh, very good, Penfold.

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Thanks, Chief.

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I'll destroy the whole agency before I let you take me.

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8 limbs? Even it up if you wouldn't mind, Penfold.

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Right-oh, Chief.

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Divide by two!

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Oh!

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-Well done, Penfold.

-Thanks, Chief.

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I must admit, seeing you two work together had me worried for a while.

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You'll always be my number two, Penfold,

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-no matter how many times you blow our cover.

-Thanks, Chief.

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-Or knock me out.

-Yes, all right, Chief.

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Or leave your phone on during a mission.

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Isn't it time for the credits?

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# He's the greatest

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# He's fantastic

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# Wherever there is danger He'll be there

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse

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# Danger Mouse! #

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BANG!

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