High School Inedible Danger Mouse
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Transcript
| Line | From | To | |
|---|---|---|---|
Chieeeeeef! | 0:00:05 | 0:00:08 | |
# He's the greatest, he's fantastic | 0:00:08 | 0:00:11 | |
# Wherever there is danger, he'll be there | 0:00:11 | 0:00:14 | |
-# He's the ace -The ace! | 0:00:14 | 0:00:16 | |
-# He's amazing! -Amazing! | 0:00:16 | 0:00:17 | |
# He's the strongest, he's the quickest, he's the best | 0:00:17 | 0:00:21 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:21 | 0:00:24 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:00:24 | 0:00:27 | |
# Danger Mouse! # | 0:00:27 | 0:00:30 | |
BOOM! | 0:00:32 | 0:00:34 | |
Lunchtime in London, | 0:00:38 | 0:00:40 | |
where you can eat food from anywhere in the world | 0:00:40 | 0:00:42 | |
as long as it's with chips. | 0:00:42 | 0:00:43 | |
What a waste. No wonder the pigeons here are so big. | 0:00:45 | 0:00:48 | |
Ordinarily a huge rubbish-eating pigeon would make a good villain. | 0:00:48 | 0:00:52 | |
SQUAAAWK! | 0:00:52 | 0:00:54 | |
But not when there are giant hot dog monsters on the loose! | 0:00:54 | 0:00:58 | |
RRRAAAAARR! | 0:00:58 | 0:01:01 | |
-Aaaaaargh! -ZAP! | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
ZAP! | 0:01:07 | 0:01:10 | |
ZAP! ZAP! | 0:01:10 | 0:01:12 | |
I've always preferred my sausages well done. | 0:01:15 | 0:01:18 | |
-GRRRAAR! -Let's get grilling. | 0:01:18 | 0:01:20 | |
ZAP! | 0:01:21 | 0:01:23 | |
Mmmmm. | 0:01:27 | 0:01:28 | |
-Ah, waste not, want not. -BURP | 0:01:28 | 0:01:31 | |
Stop these belligerent bangers, DM. | 0:01:32 | 0:01:35 | |
My family barbecue was totally ruined, | 0:01:35 | 0:01:37 | |
and not for any of the usual reasons. | 0:01:37 | 0:01:40 | |
But we don't know where, why or how the hot dogs turned into monsters. | 0:01:40 | 0:01:44 | |
The evil mastermind behind the attack has released | 0:01:44 | 0:01:47 | |
a video documenting where, why and how these hot dogs have gone mad. | 0:01:47 | 0:01:50 | |
Ooooh! That's helpful of him. | 0:01:50 | 0:01:52 | |
Food fight! | 0:01:54 | 0:01:55 | |
I am Professor Hamhands. | 0:01:55 | 0:01:59 | |
For too long you have casually wasted your food. | 0:01:59 | 0:02:03 | |
Well, now it's food's turn to waste you! | 0:02:03 | 0:02:07 | |
HE SNORTS | 0:02:07 | 0:02:08 | |
Squawkencluck, analyse the footage. Let's find out where it was made. | 0:02:08 | 0:02:11 | |
Keep watching. | 0:02:11 | 0:02:12 | |
The attack on London was just the start. | 0:02:12 | 0:02:15 | |
Soon you will all tremble before my culinary creatures. | 0:02:15 | 0:02:18 | |
Oopsie. Where's the stop button? | 0:02:19 | 0:02:22 | |
The school? Funny secret base for a super-villain. | 0:02:22 | 0:02:25 | |
You're going undercover to find out who this Hamhands is and stop him. | 0:02:25 | 0:02:30 | |
Something's rotten at that school, and it isn't just the boys' toilets. | 0:02:34 | 0:02:38 | |
School? No-o-o-o! | 0:02:38 | 0:02:41 | |
They picked on me and flushed my pencil collection down the toilet, | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
just because I was good at maths. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:46 | |
Ahh, school. | 0:02:46 | 0:02:47 | |
Sunny days, football in the playground, | 0:02:47 | 0:02:50 | |
flushing nerds' pencil collections down the toilet. | 0:02:50 | 0:02:54 | |
Which I now see was immature and is something I deeply regret. | 0:02:54 | 0:02:58 | |
I'm glad you liked school, Danger Mouse, because I discovered | 0:02:58 | 0:03:02 | |
something while crafting your new student identities. | 0:03:02 | 0:03:05 | |
-Dan Mouse? -Elvis Penfold? | 0:03:05 | 0:03:08 | |
It seems that you didn't finish your final science project and so, | 0:03:08 | 0:03:12 | |
technically, never finished school. | 0:03:12 | 0:03:14 | |
The rules are clear, DM. | 0:03:14 | 0:03:16 | |
If you don't finish your science project, | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
your spy licence will be revoked. | 0:03:18 | 0:03:20 | |
That means taken away, doesn't it? | 0:03:20 | 0:03:22 | |
So, pass science, find Hamhands and save the world, all right? | 0:03:22 | 0:03:26 | |
One of us will pick you up at about three, | 0:03:26 | 0:03:28 | |
and no walking home on your own. | 0:03:28 | 0:03:31 | |
Come on, Chief. We're late. | 0:03:36 | 0:03:39 | |
Ooo-aaah! | 0:03:39 | 0:03:41 | |
Maybe one crate of pencils was enough, Penfold. | 0:03:41 | 0:03:44 | |
And relax - nobody's on time for lessons. | 0:03:44 | 0:03:47 | |
Late! | 0:03:47 | 0:03:48 | |
Rule number one - students never get a second chance to make | 0:03:48 | 0:03:51 | |
a first impression, and I am not impressed! | 0:03:51 | 0:03:55 | |
Sit. | 0:03:55 | 0:03:56 | |
Noooooow! | 0:03:56 | 0:03:59 | |
Right, Penfold, I need to search the school for Hamhands. | 0:03:59 | 0:04:02 | |
Unfortunately that means you'll have to take my tests for me. | 0:04:02 | 0:04:05 | |
Um...is that allowed? | 0:04:05 | 0:04:07 | |
Course it is, Penfold. I'd pass them anyway. | 0:04:07 | 0:04:10 | |
So you've studied the course book? | 0:04:10 | 0:04:12 | |
Heh-heh. I don't need to study, Penfold. I have instincts. | 0:04:12 | 0:04:16 | |
-BOOM! -Oooh! | 0:04:16 | 0:04:18 | |
Oops. | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
One more mistake and I won't just fail you - | 0:04:20 | 0:04:22 | |
I'll expel you! | 0:04:22 | 0:04:25 | |
Hitting the books, eh, Chief? | 0:04:28 | 0:04:31 | |
School's harder than I remember. | 0:04:31 | 0:04:33 | |
Professor Squawkencluck?! | 0:04:33 | 0:04:34 | |
I'm undercover. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:36 | |
-Eeeewww! -Eeeugh! | 0:04:36 | 0:04:39 | |
It's smart soup. Watch. | 0:04:39 | 0:04:40 | |
You need to hurry. These hot dogs are getting hungrier. | 0:04:43 | 0:04:46 | |
You have to find Hamhands and shut him down fast. | 0:04:46 | 0:04:49 | |
The more they eat, the bigger they get. | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
Oh! | 0:04:54 | 0:04:56 | |
This food is inedible! | 0:04:56 | 0:04:58 | |
How do you expect us to eat this muck, day after day? | 0:04:58 | 0:05:01 | |
If you keep eating this food, you'll be sorry, you hear me? | 0:05:01 | 0:05:05 | |
You'll all be sorry! | 0:05:05 | 0:05:07 | |
That was weird and suspicious at the same time. | 0:05:09 | 0:05:12 | |
It was weird-spicious. Is that a word? | 0:05:12 | 0:05:14 | |
PENFOLD SLURPS | 0:05:14 | 0:05:16 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:05:16 | 0:05:18 | |
Students always know what's going on at school. | 0:05:18 | 0:05:21 | |
Which ones do you want go and talk to first? | 0:05:21 | 0:05:23 | |
Ha-ha-ha. We don't go to them, we get them to come to us. | 0:05:23 | 0:05:27 | |
Watch. | 0:05:27 | 0:05:29 | |
Hey, who wants to play football? | 0:05:29 | 0:05:31 | |
SMACK! | 0:05:34 | 0:05:36 | |
SMASH! | 0:05:36 | 0:05:38 | |
Oops. | 0:05:38 | 0:05:40 | |
Ha-ha-ha! Yes! Oh, yes! | 0:05:40 | 0:05:43 | |
DANGER MOUSE GASPS | 0:05:43 | 0:05:45 | |
Ah-hah! | 0:05:45 | 0:05:47 | |
What is it...Uh, Don Mouse, isn't it? | 0:05:47 | 0:05:50 | |
No, it's Dan Mouse, and it's not even that. | 0:05:50 | 0:05:52 | |
I am Danger Mouse, and this is my sidekick Penfold. | 0:05:52 | 0:05:55 | |
Not as dramatic, but carry on. | 0:05:57 | 0:06:00 | |
And while we're all unmasking, | 0:06:00 | 0:06:02 | |
why don't you take off that ridiculous wig, Professor Hamhands? | 0:06:02 | 0:06:06 | |
Ow! Ouch! | 0:06:06 | 0:06:07 | |
Huh? Oh, but it must be you. | 0:06:07 | 0:06:09 | |
It all adds up - the lab, the yelling about the food, | 0:06:09 | 0:06:12 | |
and now this! | 0:06:12 | 0:06:13 | |
That's my lunch! | 0:06:13 | 0:06:16 | |
With weapons-grade relish? | 0:06:16 | 0:06:18 | |
It's my mother's recipe. | 0:06:18 | 0:06:20 | |
One mouthful of this and you won't be able to taste these | 0:06:20 | 0:06:22 | |
horrible hot dogs. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:24 | |
Not till your tongue grows back. | 0:06:24 | 0:06:26 | |
We know you're Hamhands, Huxhold. | 0:06:26 | 0:06:28 | |
Wait, are you talking about Dr Hamilton Hands across the hall? | 0:06:28 | 0:06:34 | |
-Over here. No, no come here. -GROWLING | 0:06:35 | 0:06:38 | |
What are you doing? | 0:06:38 | 0:06:39 | |
Um, probably should've had a look around before we started. | 0:06:39 | 0:06:43 | |
Hold it there, young mouse! | 0:06:43 | 0:06:45 | |
You've blown up my lab, smashed my window and accused me of | 0:06:45 | 0:06:48 | |
a horrible crime, but worse than that, you're terrible at science! | 0:06:48 | 0:06:53 | |
If you want a chance of passing, | 0:06:53 | 0:06:55 | |
you'd better have something amazing up your sleeve. | 0:06:55 | 0:06:58 | |
Besides a pair of Danger Biceps? | 0:06:58 | 0:07:00 | |
-HE GASPS -What is that?! | 0:07:02 | 0:07:04 | |
What? | 0:07:04 | 0:07:07 | |
Before we get into the fighty bits, | 0:07:07 | 0:07:09 | |
can we just check you are Professor Hamhands? | 0:07:09 | 0:07:12 | |
What gave me away? | 0:07:12 | 0:07:14 | |
THEY GROWL | 0:07:14 | 0:07:16 | |
Well, that's the "who" sorted. Now, how about the "why"? | 0:07:16 | 0:07:18 | |
Allow me to show you. Lights! | 0:07:18 | 0:07:21 | |
I was the world's greatest food scientist. | 0:07:23 | 0:07:26 | |
I could turn absolutely anything into dinner, or lunch. | 0:07:26 | 0:07:30 | |
I was going to solve the world's food shortage! | 0:07:30 | 0:07:35 | |
But one night I made a terrible mistake, and... | 0:07:35 | 0:07:39 | |
Oooooooooowwww! | 0:07:39 | 0:07:42 | |
..it left me...with these! | 0:07:42 | 0:07:45 | |
-That must make typing tricky. -And playing the piano. | 0:07:45 | 0:07:47 | |
-And knitting. -Oh, changing a light bulb. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:49 | |
Enough! | 0:07:49 | 0:07:51 | |
My hot dogs are causing havoc, | 0:07:52 | 0:07:54 | |
but I've made a sausage the size of Luxembourg that will eat the world! | 0:07:54 | 0:07:59 | |
Crumbs! That's a lot of pork! | 0:08:01 | 0:08:04 | |
Actually, I'm legally obliged to tell you that they only | 0:08:04 | 0:08:06 | |
contain 12% pork. | 0:08:06 | 0:08:07 | |
The rest is a combination of water, breadcrumbs, fatty acids, | 0:08:07 | 0:08:10 | |
emulsifiers and some kind of fish poison. | 0:08:10 | 0:08:12 | |
Get them, dogs! | 0:08:12 | 0:08:13 | |
GGGRRRRRRRRR! | 0:08:13 | 0:08:16 | |
Is this the end for Danger Mouse? Has he bitten off more than he can chew? | 0:08:16 | 0:08:21 | |
Is he toast? Has his goose been cooked? | 0:08:21 | 0:08:24 | |
Gosh, this episode's making me really hungry. | 0:08:24 | 0:08:26 | |
-SMASH! -Aaaargh! | 0:08:28 | 0:08:30 | |
Now that's what I call a jumbo hot dog. | 0:08:32 | 0:08:33 | |
We're in a real pickle this time! | 0:08:33 | 0:08:36 | |
Penfold! That's it! | 0:08:36 | 0:08:37 | |
Mr Huxhold, I need your mum's relish recipe. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:43 | |
Her secret recipe?! | 0:08:43 | 0:08:46 | |
BELL RINGS | 0:08:46 | 0:08:47 | |
OK. 20ml of fluoride phosphate, | 0:08:47 | 0:08:49 | |
5ml of zirconium acid, a litre of iodine... | 0:08:49 | 0:08:51 | |
Hurry, Chief! | 0:08:51 | 0:08:53 | |
..and a pinch of sodium chloride. | 0:08:53 | 0:08:55 | |
Sodium what now? | 0:08:55 | 0:08:57 | |
-HUXHOLD AND PENFOLD: -Salt! | 0:08:57 | 0:08:58 | |
Ugh, scientists. | 0:08:58 | 0:08:59 | |
Why don't they just call it salt like everyone else? | 0:08:59 | 0:09:01 | |
GGGRRRRRR! | 0:09:01 | 0:09:03 | |
Penfold, let's get seasoning! Grab all the relish you can carry... | 0:09:03 | 0:09:06 | |
to the bike rack! | 0:09:06 | 0:09:07 | |
Chief! Look out! | 0:09:11 | 0:09:14 | |
CRASH! BANG! | 0:09:14 | 0:09:17 | |
Ha-ha, Danger Mouse! You just don't cut the mustard! | 0:09:17 | 0:09:22 | |
Come now, my hot dog destroyer. | 0:09:22 | 0:09:25 | |
It's time to feed on the world! | 0:09:25 | 0:09:28 | |
GGRRRAAAAARRR! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
-Here, where did that come from? -Ah, the wonder of animation. | 0:09:41 | 0:09:46 | |
PAINED ROAR | 0:09:47 | 0:09:49 | |
Deploy Danger Umbrella. | 0:09:51 | 0:09:54 | |
BOOM! | 0:09:56 | 0:09:58 | |
Aaaargh, no! | 0:09:58 | 0:10:00 | |
SPLAT! | 0:10:00 | 0:10:02 | |
My baby! What happened? | 0:10:02 | 0:10:04 | |
Argh! | 0:10:04 | 0:10:06 | |
Looks like Hamhands will spend the rest of his days where | 0:10:07 | 0:10:10 | |
he belongs - in the petting zoo at the Arkwright Asylum. | 0:10:10 | 0:10:14 | |
You've saved the world and, more importantly, | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
you've made it safe to barbecue again. | 0:10:16 | 0:10:19 | |
Now, who wants a sausage? | 0:10:19 | 0:10:22 | |
-Ulp! -I think I might have a salad. | 0:10:22 | 0:10:25 | |
I've just had a message from Mr Huxhold, your science teacher. | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
I'm quietly confident. | 0:10:28 | 0:10:30 | |
Low marks for theory, practical, presentation and safety, | 0:10:30 | 0:10:33 | |
but extra marks for | 0:10:33 | 0:10:35 | |
saving the world! | 0:10:35 | 0:10:37 | |
You passed! | 0:10:37 | 0:10:38 | |
-Woohoo! -Wheeee! -Yay! -Hooray! | 0:10:38 | 0:10:41 | |
Hold on, where did those hats come from? | 0:10:41 | 0:10:43 | |
Don't spoil the magic, Penfold. | 0:10:43 | 0:10:46 | |
-Agh! -Ow! -Oh! -Oof! | 0:10:46 | 0:10:48 | |
Well, I think we've all learned an important lesson today. | 0:10:48 | 0:10:52 | |
And if anyone knows what that lesson is, | 0:10:52 | 0:10:54 | |
then please send your answers on a postcard to Top Secret Danger HQ, | 0:10:54 | 0:10:58 | |
The Big Red PO Box, London, | 0:10:58 | 0:11:00 | |
and mark it for the attention of Danger Mouse! | 0:11:00 | 0:11:03 | |
# He's the greatest, he's fantastic! | 0:11:06 | 0:11:09 | |
# Wherever there is danger | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
# He'll be there | 0:11:11 | 0:11:12 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:11:12 | 0:11:15 | |
# Danger Mouse | 0:11:15 | 0:11:17 | |
# Danger Mouse! | 0:11:17 | 0:11:20 | |
BOOM! | 0:11:24 | 0:11:26 |