Smoke and Mirrors Dead Gorgeous


Smoke and Mirrors

Three Victorian sisters experience life as 21st-century teenagers. Mr Griffith tells Rebecca her failing grades have put her place at Ainsbury in jeopardy.


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Transcript


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# Some things have changed

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# Some things have stayed the same

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# Life and death are not so far apart

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# Oh! Walking through the walls

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# And I wouldn't have it any other way

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# Life and death are not so far apart

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# From where we are

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# Some things have changed

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# Some things have stayed the same

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# Life and death are not so far apart. #

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Hey, Rebecca, what's up?

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I got another F.

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-Harsh. What did you fail this time?

-Geography.

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I do not understand. My governess praised my use of the globes.

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Maybe, but things have changed.

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You can't just colour Australia pink and label it part of the Empire.

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Same for India, New Zealand, Canada.

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Have you learnt any geography since you've been here?

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I have been so busy as of late.

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-Doing what?

-Rebecca, meeting in five, remember?

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-Oh, yes, Christine.

-What's going on?

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Rebecca's helping with our entry for the science and innovation show.

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-Fashion of the future.

-Since when was fashion scientific?

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Wait till you see what we wear. Innovation's my middle name.

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Meet us on the front pathway. We're going to use it as a catwalk.

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Move.

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Why ever would they require cats?

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They don't, believe me. And you don't need them.

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-Why would you help them?

-Rebecca, good news.

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I've found us another volunteer. This is Ernesto.

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Ah, so you're working on the fashion show!

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-I'm doing the lighting.

-Wow, that's illuminating!

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-Your hands, put your hands down.

-Sorry, sorry.

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You're doing it completely wrong.

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Am I the only one that's taking this seriously because...

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David, Rebecca, you're late.

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Chill, Christine. We brought some extra help.

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-This is Ernesto and he's new.

-Hi, nice to meet you.

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Likewise. I'm Christine, the designer.

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These are my assistants, Piper, Danni. You've met Rebecca.

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Oh, I did, yeah. Surely you must be one of the models.

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No! No, no, no, no, no, no!

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We are the models. Rebecca's just here to help with the sewing.

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-Oh, am I?

-Oh, don't be modest, Rebecca.

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You're the best at needlework in, like, the whole school.

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-Yes, but I...

-So here's some stuff to be getting on with.

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-Take these.

-Enjoy.

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Now, boys, let's discuss how we're going to light me.

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I was thinking soft lighting, not that I need it of course,

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but Piper and Danny might.

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-Oh!

-Oh!

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Ah, looks like they've lumbered you with all the donkey work.

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Rebecca, why don't you just tell them where to stick it?

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They are relying upon my skills as a needlewoman, I cannot let them down.

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No, you can't let David down.

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Ah, Rebecca, a word in my office, if you don't mind.

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-Flour.

-Tomato sauce.

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-Ginger.

-Sugar.

-Yeast.

-What else?

-Silver tray and some toilet roll.

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-Got it.

-Eggs. Oh, and three glasses.

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-Oh, good.

-Lots of newspapers for the volcano.

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-Oh, and a cutting board.

-Oh, yeah.

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Done. This is going to be the most awesome!

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Rebecca, are you familiar with the term "feedback sandwich"?

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No, headmaster.

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Praise, criticism, praise.

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For example, your sandwich will taste something like this.

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Your manners are delightful, but you're failing every subject.

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Oh, I see.

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This is our waiting list.

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237 bright, keen students desperate for a place in the school.

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I don't think you realise how lucky you are to be here.

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But I do, headmaster, indeed I do.

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I believe you, but you've got to throw me a bone here.

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Figure of speech.

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-Oh.

-Listen, I've got to see some commitment from you

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otherwise I don't see how I can justify keeping you on.

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What must I do, headmaster? I will do anything.

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All right, bottom line, I'm getting reports that you are bright,

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but lazy.

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You've got to turn this around.

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Rebecca, I need you to pass geography.

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But you cannot fail.

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The Ghost Council made it crystal clear, no second chances.

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And if one goes we all go.

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Go where? Back?

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You cannot go back to being a ghost and nor can we.

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This is our home, Rebecca!

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It's too dreadful to even contemplate.

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Rebecca, you must apply yourself to your studies.

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Well, I have it! You can join us in our entries for the science show.

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-We are using eggs to test gravity and we're making a volcano.

-No!

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That will not do. The headmaster has demanded that I pass geography.

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Well, then we are saved!

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Your use of the globes was exemplary.

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All has changed, Sophie. Did you know that the empire has fallen?

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-Of course.

-You mean you did not know that?

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Rebecca, if we pledge ourselves to help you

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will you at least try to study?

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I will. I will pass geography even if it kills me...

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..again!

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Remind me please, Rebecca, what is your geography assignment about?

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The environment.

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I am designing an ecologically friendly home for the future.

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And you are structuring your research by keeping up with celebrity gossip?

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What an odd way of fighting for academic survival.

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Give me back my magazine.

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I will do nothing of the sort until you begin your research.

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As you wish.

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I am doing this for your own good! Some day you will thank me.

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-Wow, Sophie sounds like my mother.

-I know.

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Sophie, don't you think you're being a little hard on Rebecca?

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Let's see, shall we?

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No! Oh, no! No!

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Oh, this cannot be!

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What is the matter, Sophie?

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It is worse than we thought.

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She is failing everything.

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Hi, David.

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I may have failed tests, but does that make me a person to be avoided?

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You should be more careful with people about.

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What are you talking about?

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I walked through that doorway like normal people do.

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All right, Jonathan,

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let's talk music.

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I'm thinking techno rap, ultramodern so we can strut our stuff,

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like this.

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-Christine!

-SHE SCREAMS

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Don't sneak up on people like that, it's really creepy.

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-Where did Rebecca come from?

-So, how are you getting on with the sewing?

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The sewing, I...

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I will complete it presently.

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Good one, Rebecca. If we pull this off it'll be down to you.

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Right, everyone, where were we?

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What have you been doing all these months?

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All the while you have been slavishly trying to curry the favour

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of Christine and David you have been failing all of your subjects.

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They are my friends and I promised to help them.

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Are they your friends

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or are they just exploiting your skill with a needle?

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If I let them down I will truly be an outcast.

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They are already ignoring me.

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Then they are not your true friends.

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This is no time to fall apart, Rebecca. You must be strong.

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We will do everything in our power to help you.

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I do not know where to begin.

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Search under "homes of the future".

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I did not say "fashion of the future".

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You have not changed in 150 years.

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You have the mind of a butterfly.

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How am I to concentrate on houses

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when I should be sewing futuristic fashions?

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I must explain why I cannot help them.

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I will be back in five minutes.

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No, get distracted again!

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Leave me to do your work.

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Does it help you, giving yourself a good talking to like that?

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What?

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I made a start on our innovation show project. Do you like it?

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What is it?

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It's a shoulder bag, it's a sleeping bag, it's a multipurpose solution

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to every traveller's needs.

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I won't lie to you,

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right now it's a bit of a mess,

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but when you sew it in canvas it will be waterproof,

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rollable and, though I say it myself, pretty amazing.

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-When can you start?

-I don't know.

-I see.

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Charlie, wait,

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you don't understand! Rebecca needs me.

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David, David, the lighting needs to fall perfectly on us

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so will need to be evenly strung. No ugly shadows. Cool.

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-Whoa!

-Oh!

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Sorry, I didn't see you there. I didn't hurt you that much, did I?

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I am in enormous trouble. Not only am I on the verge of expulsion,

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but everyone is suddenly treating me like I'm invisible.

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Oh, it's OK.

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Jonathan! Oh!

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Yes, I know, emergency sisters' meeting in the attic.

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Find Sophie and Hazel, tell them.

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Tell them! Oh.

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Quickly, Jonathan, quickly!

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Are you still there?

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What is happening to me?

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You're disappearing. Now I can see straight through you.

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What is worse, I have this sudden urge to wear an old nightdresses

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and go "oooh" in darkened corridors.

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This is no time for jokes.

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I am not joking!

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Come.

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Together to Agatha.

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-Oh, yeah, this is so not good.

-Well, what is happening to me?

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Well, it looks like the Ghost Council is taking away

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-your living ghost status.

-Can they do that?

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Not unless you've done something to tick them off. Have you?

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I know that look. You flunked out of school, didn't you?

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No. Not yet.

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Oh, girls!

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What have I told you since day one?

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ALL: Follow the Ghost Council's rules.

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But I have not broken them...much.

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Girls, it's like this, the future is not ours to know, but

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once a chain of events has begun you can figure out what comes next.

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What do you mean?

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Link one, you decide that you'd rather be popular than smart.

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Well, naturally, wouldn't everyone?

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Link two, you waste time sucking up to the popular kids.

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Link three, you neglect your studies and, finally,

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you get chucked out of school and your re-ghosting is complete.

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I am so sorry.

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Well, how... How long do I have?

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It is a process.

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Firstly people stop seeing and hearing you, and then...

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You go first, your sisters will follow.

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Please, not my sisters! There must be something I can do.

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-Fight, lassie!

-Break the chain and change your fate.

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What have you got to lose?

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Nothing.

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-Christine, hi! Danny! David!

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I want... I want...

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You know the sort of things, OK?

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So I want them over the roof and I want holes in them for the smoke.

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I am here! Everyone, here!

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You're late. We started ages ago.

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Sadly, Christine,

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I fear I am not feeling all that well and, therefore,

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I cannot do the fashion project after all.

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You are joking.

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-That's the most unoriginal excuse I've ever heard.

-Me, too.

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Just because she didn't get to be a model. Pathetic.

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I'm sorry.

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Don't worry, girls, we can do it without her.

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Rebecca, watch this.

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-I do not have time for that, as you well know.

-Just watch.

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Oh, go both of you!

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If you want to practise for this contemptible show, do it elsewhere.

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Mr Griffiths told me to concentrate on my geography assignment,

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-that is what I'm going to do.

-Sorry.

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Right, let's see if this works.

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Have you seen Rebecca? Did she resign from the fashion project?

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She's in the dorm and judging by her atrocious mood

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I would say yes, she did.

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Ow!

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Here, let me help you.

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You need a darning needle for something that thick. I have one.

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How come you've suddenly decided to help me?

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I always intended to,

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-but I have been worried sick about Rebecca.

-Why?

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She is failing in every way.

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If she leaves, we must all go.

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So, you've been helping her, right?

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Yes, but I have to keep chastising her or she does nothing.

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Excuse me if I'm being a bit thick,

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but how does telling her off help exactly?

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Well, I...

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It was...

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Do you have a better idea?

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Kindness, understanding.

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She'll be freaking out about failing. Maybe she's just scared.

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I must help both of you, even if I have to work around the clock.

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Who needs sleep? Not I.

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Hey, if she fails it's not the end of the world.

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We'll always be friends, no matter where you go.

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You're the best friend in the world, Charlie.

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EXPLOSION

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THEY SCREAM WITH DELIGHT

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Rebecca, you're here, right?

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Jonathan! Jonathan, I have to do my assignment.

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I'm just not very sure where to start.

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Well, it looks like these Fs have a lot to answer for.

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I know you can't change the past, but you can change the future.

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Shall we cross them all out?

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-There, how does that feel?

-Better.

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Except I still have no ecological inspiration

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for my geography project.

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Right, OK, well maybe your eco home

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could have an electric car and a green carpet of fake grass.

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Well, fake grass saves water, so, you know...

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I tried telling Sophie that, but she would not listen.

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I am listening now.

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I am sorry.

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I meant to help, but instead I hindered.

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The fault was mine.

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How does one show unconditional support in the 21st century?

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Are you sure you do not need our help, Rebecca?

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-I

-am going to do this, even if it takes me all night.

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Really?

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Hazel, for shame!

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Rebecca has found her own inspiration, we must trust her

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-and concentrate on our own projects for tomorrow.

-Very well.

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Look, I am not disappearing!

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I feel as though I am returning to my old self.

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BOTH: Keep working!

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And next up in our science and innovation show,

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Hazel and Mattie.

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Behold the awesome power of gravity!

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-One.

-Two.

-Three!

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Ta-dah!

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Thank you, Hazel and Mattie,

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and now Sophie and Charlie unveil an invention simply called "Charlie".

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May we present our all-weather sleeping bag?

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Made of blankets and canvas, designed to assist hikers or campers

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who are travelling light.

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And people sleeping rough.

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Love it!

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It is lightweight and waterproof

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and it doubles as a shoulder bag.

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Yeah! Oh, love it! That's good as!

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Thank you, Sophie and Charlie, for that innovative invention.

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And now Christine Richardson presents fashions of the future.

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Mm...OK.

0:21:030:21:05

-Sorry.

-What are you doing?

-I'm sorry.

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Move out of my way. Get out of my way!

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Ow!

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-Oh, sorry. Sorry.

-Ow!

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What do I do?

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Oops!

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LAUGHTER

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Cut the lights! I said cut the lights, you idiots!

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Cut the lights means turns the lights off. It's not that hard.

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-We...

-It's technical language, I know...

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-We couldn't hear you.

-It wasn't my fault...

-No, it was your fault.

0:22:080:22:12

Well done, Christine.

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May I apologise again and I do hope that you will allow me

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to assist you next time, if my study programme permits.

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You mean if you're still here.

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-We heard you might not be around much longer.

-Well, who told you that?

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-A little birdie.

-Whose name starts with an F.

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I'd hate it if you had to leave.

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Who would we laugh at? I mean, with.

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Funny! Not!

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I believe congratulations are in order, Rebecca.

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On what account, sir?

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The B you scored for your eco-friendly Ainsbury concept,

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most impressive.

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I particularly liked your explanations

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based on current eco trends set by celebrities!

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-Terrific!

-I do beg your pardon, sir, but did you say I scored a B?

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A high B, almost an A.

0:23:030:23:05

Oh!

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Well done. Keep up the good work and your place here is assured.

0:23:070:23:12

Thank you, sir.

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A "B"! I got a B!

0:23:150:23:17

Oh, the Ghost Council send you their hearty congratulations, Rebecca.

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They, too, applaud you for breaking the chain.

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-You mean they did not reverse the re-ghosting?

-No, that was you.

0:23:250:23:30

Then I am saved because I passed my geography assignment!

0:23:300:23:33

More than that, you used your own passion to solve your problems.

0:23:330:23:37

The council loved that.

0:23:370:23:39

They thought it was very "alive".

0:23:390:23:41

-I knew you could do it.

-So did I.

0:23:410:23:44

Oh, well, I could not have done it without you.

0:23:440:23:47

That being the case,

0:23:470:23:49

might I venture to suggest that we celebrate with a group hug?

0:23:490:23:52

THEY CHEER

0:23:520:23:54

# Some things have changed

0:24:040:24:07

# Some things have stayed the same

0:24:070:24:11

# Life and death are not so far apart. #

0:24:110:24:13

E-mail [email protected]

0:24:130:24:15

Rebecca lands herself in hot water when Mr Griffith tells her that a continuous string of failing grades has put her place at Ainsbury in jeopardy. If she doesn't pull up her socks and change her academic fate, a decision by the Ghost Council will send all three of the Ainsworth sisters back to full time ghost status.


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