Love's First Kiss Dead Gorgeous

# Some things have changed

# Some things have stayed the same

# Life and death are not so far apart

# Walking through the walls

# And I wouldn't have it any other way

# Life and death are not so far apart

# From where we are

# Some things have changed

# Some things have stayed the same

# Life and death are not so far apart. #

I can't believe they're making the dance compulsory. It's cruel.

-You'll enjoy it once you're there.

-No, I won't, because I'm not going.

The universe will provide me with the perfect excuse.

So are any of the other boys waiting for the universe

-to get them out of attending?

-Well, if you mean David, I don't know.

-But I do know he doesn't have a date yet.

-Quiet, please!

Pay attention, class.

I am about to unveil

the latest addition to the school's impressive collection.

-SHE GASPS Voila!

-What's the matter?

-Looks like you've seen a ghost!

-Heathcliff.

You know this guy? The guy in the armour?

-We were going to be married!

-You were engaged?

Quiet, you two.

This treasure was recently gifted to the school

by the previous owner of Ainsbury.

Its history was a matter of some contention.

But being an expert in art history,

I have ascertained it was painted somewhere between 1848 and 1853.

Actually, it was painted in 1860.

-Is that right?

-Yes, on March 1st, as a matter of fact.

And how could you possibly know that?

As it happens, I knew the gentleman who painted it.

KIDS CHUCKLE

-I mean, I knew the painter's great, great...

-Great, great...

..great great great grandson. He told me all about this piece.

I see. Well, then. Since you're familiar with the painting's history,

perhaps you'd like to take the class.

If it pleases you, Miss Sinclair.

The artist is Christopher Broadwin.

He always signed his portraits with a CB - right here.

It was painted on the day of the Ainsbury ball and given to my fa...

Sir Charles Ainsworth as a gift, a way of commemorating the ball.

That's why they're all dressed up like Henry V and Falstaff.

This painting also tells the tragic tale of doomed love.

The knight on bended knee is Heathcliff Churchill.

He was handsome, wealthy and titled.

-Sure he was!

-No, it's true. That's his Uncle Richard,

who commissioned the painting.

And that's our school, Ainsbury Hall, as it was.

Heathcliff was wildly in love with the first daughter of the house.

Of course, he wasn't the only one.

She was a renowned local beauty.

Also famous for her modesty?

Still...

had fate not intervened, they would surely have been betrothed.

So what happened?

Well, she...

She died.

My goodness!

Heathcliff, Henry V, Falstaff and a touch of Romeo and Juliet.

That's quite an imagination, Rebecca.

Everything I have recounted is true.

It was a heartbreaking tragedy.

Hey! Don't touch!

Why do I ever trust students with art?

It seems to have survived this time.

Let's get back to the classroom before you do any more damage.

Uncle Richard! Uncle Richard!

It's a miracle!

For 150 years I've waited for a sign, and finally I've received one!

M-M-Miss Rebecca touched me!

That means she truly loves me, as I love her.

Don't be too hasty, lad.

Love knows no bounds, Uncle.

I shall win Miss Rebecca's heart

and our fate shall be sealed with true love's kiss!

-Ow!

-Ha ha ha!

Love has tainted your judgement, my boy!

You know our limitations.

You're right. I must find a suitable replacement.

So about the dance...

do you think David might ask me?

Why don't you just put yourself out of your misery and ask him?

Because I am a lady! Things were so much easier in the old days.

Yeah, you'd have been married off

to some toffee-nosed inbred you hardly knew.

Heathcliff was not inbred!

He danced an exquisite quadrille and wrote the most beautiful poetry.

Yeah. I get it. He was a real old-fashioned gentleman.

MOBILE BEEPS

Catch you later, I've got to make a call.

There is something to be said for old-fashioned gentlemen.

MOBILE BEEPS

At last! Farewell, Uncle! UNCLE CHUCKLES

-Aaah!

-Good luck, my boy!

Thank you!

Hey, what's going on? Come back!

I have a proposal for you.

We both know you want to go to the dance with David, correct?

-Well, yes...

-And we both know the clock is ticking, correct?

-Yes, but...

-And Ernesto will give up this stupid boys' night idea

if David gets a date of his own.

No, actually, I didn't know that.

Well, you do now. And I want to go with Ernesto, which means...

You need me to convince David to go.

-Exactly.

-I'm sorry, Christine.

I couldn't possibly. It's a gentleman's job.

Well, David's no gentleman, so let's just work with what we've got.

But I don't even know if he likes me.

I mean... I know he likes me, but would he compose a poem for me?

Get down on one knee for me? Slay a dragon for me?

Well, he hung out with you after the game last week.

With a dozen other people.

Well, if that isn't love, I don't know what is.

Wh...why am I in a painting? This can't be happening.

I didn't even like this painting.

Calm yourself!

Admire the blue skies.

Appreciate the magnificent vista.

Look, Mr Falstaff...

Richard. You may call me Richard.

Fine. Richard. You've got to get me out of here!

I'm afraid only Heathcliff can do that.

You don't understand.

I really need to go.

BELL RINGS

My friend, I strongly suggest you hold it.

But I'm bursting. Sophie! Hazel!

-Did you hear that?

-But where did it come from?

I'm in here, in the painting.

Jonathan?

Is that you? What are you doing in there?

I'm heading to the toilet, a ghost wearing a frilly shirt grabbed me.

He's out there and I'm stuck in here!

-Jonathan!

-A frilly shirt?

You must mean Heathcliff! And he is out here?

We must warn Rebecca.

Sophie! Hazel!

Quiet! Someone approaches.

Although very popular in his day, very few Broadwins remain.

Each one is distinguished by his initials, CB.

Well, well, well...

For once little Miss Smarty Pants Troublemaker was telling the truth.

It's simple. All you have to do

is ask him as if you know the answer is yes.

-I could never do that.

-Yes, you could. And here comes your chance.

I'm begging you, Christine, do not bring up the dance.

Give me some credit! I can be very subtle.

So, David. Rebecca has something she wants to ask you.

Right, Rebecca?

Um...yes.

I was wondering if you wanted to...

if you're not already...

-Rebecca, we need to talk to you.

-I'm kind of in the middle of something.

Miss Rebecca!

I've found you at last!

What is that?!

Actors! Really Rebecca, you should try and do your drama club rehearsals

somewhere more private.

150 years?

You waited inside a painting for 150 years,

-for me?

-That costume ball was the happiest day of my life.

Love is so stupid.

But so romantic!

Heathcliff, you have to get back in the painting so Jonathan can get out.

-What is this about Jonathan?

-In good time.

-Now is a good time.

You jeopardised our secret.

If Hazel hadn't said you were an actor, everyone would know.

My lady is angry.

You cannot know the torment caused by your passing.

A year later, when I died on the battlefield, I made a solemn vow

to live on inside the memory of that day and find you again.

Well, here I am.

HE CHUCKLES

This token of your love has kept my love alive.

When you gave it to me, I knew your heart beat as true as mine.

You gave him your handkerchief?

Actually, I distinctly remember...

But fear not.

My intentions are honourable.

I shall court you in style and, if the fates be with us,

win your hand in marriage by midnight.

Marriage?

All I want to do is go to the dance!

This is so not cool!

You can't just kidnap someone and dump them inside a painting.

I'm afraid Heathcliff is driven by a love beyond description.

Yeah, well, I'm driven by a bladder that's full to bursting.

-Where's the toilet?

-The what?

You know, the toilet. I have to take a leak.

Use the loo, capisce?

Oh, you mean, ye olde shrubbery.

Why didn't you say so? Over there, old chap.

Whoa...whoa...Waaaah!

-Remember, just ask him as if you know he'll say yes.

-I can't.

You want to stay on my good side, right?

-Well, yes.

-Heads up!

-Nice catch!

-Thanks.

-Do it.

-Um, David?

I was wondering...

about the dance. If you're not already...

You want to go together?

-Yes, actually.

-Great, sounds fun.

Thanks for asking me.

He said yes! He actually said yes!

Now, here's the thing. As David's date, you're part of an elite.

So we'll need to make sure you meet A-list standards.

I'm sure I could benefit from your tuition.

Let's start with your outfit for tonight.

I have a very fine eye for 19th century painting, Mr Griffith,

and I've identified this piece as the work of Christopher Broadwin. See?

He always signs his name with a CB.

It says so right here.

Well, well. That's extraordinary.

As it happens, the curator of the Lauther Museum in London

is here in Australia, sourcing works at the moment.

If he agrees to show this painting, it would be very good for Ainsbury.

It would, wouldn't it?

Well, make a call, see what you can do.

London? You're kidding.

Sophie, Hazel, you have to find a way to get me out of here.

They're going to send us to London!

That would be marvellous! I haven't been there for centuries.

-Don't worry. We'll get you out.

-Maybe Agatha will have some ideas.

I've got to go to the toilet - I'm busting.

He came out of a painting?

Ooooh! That is not supposed to happen.

This guy Heathcliff must have some major unfinished business.

He must slaughter his enemies! Then his soul'll be free.

Perhaps it is a matter of the heart?

For real. Some crazy chick's bugging that cat.

-He said he made a vow to seek Rebecca's hand.

-Bingo!

Sophus, run us through the Ghost Council's rules on unrequited love.

"In a case such as this, the unhappy lover is granted

"one day to seek a kiss.

"If he succeeds, his quest is over."

So, if they kiss, he'll finally go away?

He'll have nothing tying him to this world.

Then he can move on to the afterdeath.

That looks great. On me!

And it even looks OK on you.

Check this out. She actually looks like one of us.

Lady Rebecca?

There's some guy calling for you, Rebecca.

Lady Rebecca?

Do you not see my love

Go down the garden there?

It's your actor friend.

Rivalling the glittering sunshine The glory of her raven hair.

-Oh, like the shirt!

-Such beauty!

To touch her I would not dare.

What is he doing?

He's reciting poetry.

He wrote that poem for me, you know.

Yeah, well, we've all got our problems.

Could you please excuse us for a moment?

I need to speak with him alone.

I can hear the alleys ring!

Though she may never look on me

Though I may never woo her

I shall love her until I die.

Heathcliff, you have to stop this.

My love deserves to be courted in style!

Give me one chance, Rebecca.

It's all I ask. Come to the dance with me.

I'm sorry, Heathcliff, I'm already going with David.

David?

Who is David?

I have pledged my heart.

It is unsuitable for you to dally with another. I cannot allow it!

It is not up to you.

I can DALLY with whomever I wish.

I do not belong in your world any more, Heathcliff.

And you certainly do not fit into mine.

-En garde!

-OK, who are you and what's with the zucchini?

I had hoped for a sword, but this courgette was all I could find.

-En garde!

-Huh?

You take French, don't you? En garde! I challenge you to a duel!

A duel? Is this some kind of joke?

You are the most unchivalrous,

uncouth excuse for a man I have ever seen.

You have offended me, sir! Now, en garde!

BOYS LAUGH

'Just one kiss, Rebecca!'

-It is the only way to free Jonathan and Heathcliff.

-What about me?

I believe it's called "Taking one for the team".

Can it not wait until after my date with David?

Tonight I am A-list. I cannot kiss a guy in a frilly shirt!

It would be social death!

You liked him. You gave him your handkerchief.

I did not give it to him!

It fell off the balcony and he picked it up.

How was I supposed to know he would keep it for 150 years?

-I wish he'd stayed in the painting!

-So do I!

Heathcliff!

HAND-DRYER BLASTS

HEATHCLIFF SCREAMS

Back, monster!

-Hey, what's going on?

-Stand back! It may attack!

We thought he might have come back.

We have looked everywhere for him!

None of this would have happened if Heathcliff hadn't fallen in love.

Hazel, trust me.

You don't have any control over who you fall in love with.

-One day you'll understand.

-I doubt it. Love is pathetic.

Can we discuss the matter of love another time?

The old bat's sending the painting to England with me inside!

You've got to get me out of here!

OK, we'll find Heathcliff. Stay there.

I thought, if I waited long enough, one day I'd find her

and we'd be together for eternity.

Wow, sounds pretty serious.

Eternity is a long time.

You have no idea.

Well, next time ask her to the dance first.

It's a lot simpler.

I don't think there will be a next time.

I am a man of honour, but I am no fool.

You have won.

I would slay a dragon for her,

but you are "A-list" and I'm just "A chap in a frilly shirt".

In the knowledge that you love Rebecca as I do, I accept defeat.

Whoa! Who said anything about love?

I recognised Broadwin's signature the moment I saw it.

It's not often we come across such...

-What are you girls doing here?

-If you please, ma'am,

we wish to admire the school's new painting.

It's good to see the students taking an interest in art.

-Is this some sort of joke?

-I'm sorry?

This painting is between 10 and 15 years old.

-But...that's impossible!

-I'm afraid not.

The mobile phone is a bit of a giveaway, don't you think?

Perhaps we should do our homework a little more thoroughly next time.

David, Heathcliff is not my boyfriend.

I know that's technically true, but he's really into you.

I know he's a bit...

What? Ridiculously dedicated?

Annoyingly cavalier? Unbearably romantic?

I think you should give him a chance and let him be your date.

She's all yours.

You, sir, are a true gentleman.

Hey, lay off the insults.

Now, about that shirt.

It is not fair!

He has ruined my future with David.

-I wish I were dead!

-You ARE dead.

You know what I mean.

-This is a disaster!

-No, it's not.

If Heathcliff is to be your date, you can kiss him.

Kiss him?

I wish to never see him again!

Rebecca, you must. You are the only one who can save Jonathan.

Oh, Jonathan.

I nearly forgot about him.

All right, to free Jonathan, one kiss.

And then I can get on with my life.

'First I have two dates and now I have none! Where is he?'

Come on.

So, what's going on?

Why aren't you dancing with David?

There was a change of plans and, well...

-Heathcliff!

-Who is that?

May I have this dance?

-You will be out soon, Jonathan, when Rebecca kisses Heathcliff.

-What?

Yes! Then it will all be over.

-Heathcliff will move on to the afterdeath.

-And I'll get out?

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-Oh, what?!

If Heathcliff moves on to the afterdeath,

the two worlds will be sealed forever!

-What does that mean?

-It means you will be

forever sealed in this painting.

If they kiss, Jonathan will be trapped?

-But Agatha said...

-Agatha must have muddled up the rules again.

You've got to stop them from kissing! Go! Go! Go!

You didn't have to go to all that trouble for me, you know.

-But you're glad I did?

-Yes.

I'm glad you did.

I had no idea how handsome you'd look without...

-you know.

-My frilly shirt?

Come on, Sophie, quickly! Hurry!

Hurry, Sophie! There's no time to waste!

Perhaps things could work out between us.

We do have some things in common.

Such as?

Well, you recite poetry and I love listening to it.

It is a perfect combination.

BOTH: Noooo!

'Stop, Rebecca, stop! Jonathan is in danger.

'He needs our help. Do not kiss him!'

-Rebecca?

-My sisters...

-Stop!

If you kiss him, Jonathan will be trapped forever!

Jonathan, trapped? Is this true?

-You were going to let Jonathan take your place forever?!

-No.

Our love can never thrive at the expense of another.

-Isn't there some other way?

-No! Honour demands it -

from both of us.

This was easier when I didn't like you.

Thank you, young man!

Why is my armour so wet?

Good to have you back, my boy.

I believe this belongs to you.

Thank you.

You OK?

Are you OK?

A bit stiff and sore.

It's like I've been stuck in a painting for 150 years.

I'm sorry, Jonathan. I did not mean to get you involved in this mess.

It's not so messy. Besides, that's what friends are for.

Want to boogie?

May I have this dance?

I'm telling you, love is seriously stupid.

'Maybe Heathcliff is right.

'Maybe you can still find a boy who will slay a dragon.'

# Some things have changed

# Some things have stayed the same

# Life and death are not so far apart. #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd