Love's First Kiss Dead Gorgeous


Love's First Kiss

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# Some things have changed

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# Some things have stayed the same

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# Life and death are not so far apart

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# Walking through the walls

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# And I wouldn't have it any other way

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# Life and death are not so far apart

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# From where we are

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# Some things have changed

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# Some things have stayed the same

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# Life and death are not so far apart. #

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I can't believe they're making the dance compulsory. It's cruel.

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-You'll enjoy it once you're there.

-No, I won't, because I'm not going.

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The universe will provide me with the perfect excuse.

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So are any of the other boys waiting for the universe

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-to get them out of attending?

-Well, if you mean David, I don't know.

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-But I do know he doesn't have a date yet.

-Quiet, please!

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Pay attention, class.

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I am about to unveil

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the latest addition to the school's impressive collection.

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-SHE GASPS Voila!

-What's the matter?

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-Looks like you've seen a ghost!

-Heathcliff.

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You know this guy? The guy in the armour?

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-We were going to be married!

-You were engaged?

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Quiet, you two.

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This treasure was recently gifted to the school

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by the previous owner of Ainsbury.

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Its history was a matter of some contention.

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But being an expert in art history,

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I have ascertained it was painted somewhere between 1848 and 1853.

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Actually, it was painted in 1860.

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-Is that right?

-Yes, on March 1st, as a matter of fact.

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And how could you possibly know that?

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As it happens, I knew the gentleman who painted it.

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KIDS CHUCKLE

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-I mean, I knew the painter's great, great...

-Great, great...

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..great great great grandson. He told me all about this piece.

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I see. Well, then. Since you're familiar with the painting's history,

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perhaps you'd like to take the class.

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If it pleases you, Miss Sinclair.

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The artist is Christopher Broadwin.

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He always signed his portraits with a CB - right here.

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It was painted on the day of the Ainsbury ball and given to my fa...

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Sir Charles Ainsworth as a gift, a way of commemorating the ball.

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That's why they're all dressed up like Henry V and Falstaff.

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This painting also tells the tragic tale of doomed love.

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The knight on bended knee is Heathcliff Churchill.

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He was handsome, wealthy and titled.

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-Sure he was!

-No, it's true. That's his Uncle Richard,

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who commissioned the painting.

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And that's our school, Ainsbury Hall, as it was.

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Heathcliff was wildly in love with the first daughter of the house.

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Of course, he wasn't the only one.

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She was a renowned local beauty.

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Also famous for her modesty?

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Still...

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had fate not intervened, they would surely have been betrothed.

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So what happened?

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Well, she...

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She died.

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My goodness!

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Heathcliff, Henry V, Falstaff and a touch of Romeo and Juliet.

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That's quite an imagination, Rebecca.

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Everything I have recounted is true.

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It was a heartbreaking tragedy.

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Hey! Don't touch!

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Why do I ever trust students with art?

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It seems to have survived this time.

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Let's get back to the classroom before you do any more damage.

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Uncle Richard! Uncle Richard!

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It's a miracle!

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For 150 years I've waited for a sign, and finally I've received one!

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M-M-Miss Rebecca touched me!

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That means she truly loves me, as I love her.

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Don't be too hasty, lad.

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Love knows no bounds, Uncle.

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I shall win Miss Rebecca's heart

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and our fate shall be sealed with true love's kiss!

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-Ow!

-Ha ha ha!

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Love has tainted your judgement, my boy!

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You know our limitations.

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You're right. I must find a suitable replacement.

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So about the dance...

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do you think David might ask me?

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Why don't you just put yourself out of your misery and ask him?

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Because I am a lady! Things were so much easier in the old days.

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Yeah, you'd have been married off

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to some toffee-nosed inbred you hardly knew.

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Heathcliff was not inbred!

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He danced an exquisite quadrille and wrote the most beautiful poetry.

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Yeah. I get it. He was a real old-fashioned gentleman.

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MOBILE BEEPS

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Catch you later, I've got to make a call.

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There is something to be said for old-fashioned gentlemen.

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MOBILE BEEPS

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At last! Farewell, Uncle! UNCLE CHUCKLES

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-Aaah!

-Good luck, my boy!

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Thank you!

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Hey, what's going on? Come back!

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I have a proposal for you.

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We both know you want to go to the dance with David, correct?

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-Well, yes...

-And we both know the clock is ticking, correct?

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-Yes, but...

-And Ernesto will give up this stupid boys' night idea

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if David gets a date of his own.

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No, actually, I didn't know that.

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Well, you do now. And I want to go with Ernesto, which means...

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You need me to convince David to go.

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-Exactly.

-I'm sorry, Christine.

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I couldn't possibly. It's a gentleman's job.

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Well, David's no gentleman, so let's just work with what we've got.

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But I don't even know if he likes me.

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I mean... I know he likes me, but would he compose a poem for me?

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Get down on one knee for me? Slay a dragon for me?

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Well, he hung out with you after the game last week.

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With a dozen other people.

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Well, if that isn't love, I don't know what is.

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Wh...why am I in a painting? This can't be happening.

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I didn't even like this painting.

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Calm yourself!

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Admire the blue skies.

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Appreciate the magnificent vista.

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Look, Mr Falstaff...

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Richard. You may call me Richard.

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Fine. Richard. You've got to get me out of here!

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I'm afraid only Heathcliff can do that.

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You don't understand.

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I really need to go.

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BELL RINGS

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My friend, I strongly suggest you hold it.

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But I'm bursting. Sophie! Hazel!

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-Did you hear that?

-But where did it come from?

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I'm in here, in the painting.

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Jonathan?

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Is that you? What are you doing in there?

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I'm heading to the toilet, a ghost wearing a frilly shirt grabbed me.

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He's out there and I'm stuck in here!

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-Jonathan!

-A frilly shirt?

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You must mean Heathcliff! And he is out here?

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We must warn Rebecca.

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Sophie! Hazel!

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Quiet! Someone approaches.

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Although very popular in his day, very few Broadwins remain.

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Each one is distinguished by his initials, CB.

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Well, well, well...

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For once little Miss Smarty Pants Troublemaker was telling the truth.

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It's simple. All you have to do

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is ask him as if you know the answer is yes.

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-I could never do that.

-Yes, you could. And here comes your chance.

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I'm begging you, Christine, do not bring up the dance.

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Give me some credit! I can be very subtle.

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So, David. Rebecca has something she wants to ask you.

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Right, Rebecca?

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Um...yes.

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I was wondering if you wanted to...

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if you're not already...

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-Rebecca, we need to talk to you.

-I'm kind of in the middle of something.

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Miss Rebecca!

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I've found you at last!

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What is that?!

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Actors! Really Rebecca, you should try and do your drama club rehearsals

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somewhere more private.

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150 years?

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You waited inside a painting for 150 years,

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-for me?

-That costume ball was the happiest day of my life.

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Love is so stupid.

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But so romantic!

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Heathcliff, you have to get back in the painting so Jonathan can get out.

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-What is this about Jonathan?

-In good time.

-Now is a good time.

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You jeopardised our secret.

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If Hazel hadn't said you were an actor, everyone would know.

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My lady is angry.

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You cannot know the torment caused by your passing.

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A year later, when I died on the battlefield, I made a solemn vow

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to live on inside the memory of that day and find you again.

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Well, here I am.

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HE CHUCKLES

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This token of your love has kept my love alive.

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When you gave it to me, I knew your heart beat as true as mine.

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You gave him your handkerchief?

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Actually, I distinctly remember...

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But fear not.

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My intentions are honourable.

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I shall court you in style and, if the fates be with us,

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win your hand in marriage by midnight.

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Marriage?

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All I want to do is go to the dance!

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This is so not cool!

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You can't just kidnap someone and dump them inside a painting.

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I'm afraid Heathcliff is driven by a love beyond description.

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Yeah, well, I'm driven by a bladder that's full to bursting.

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-Where's the toilet?

-The what?

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You know, the toilet. I have to take a leak.

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Use the loo, capisce?

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Oh, you mean, ye olde shrubbery.

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Why didn't you say so? Over there, old chap.

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Whoa...whoa...Waaaah!

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-Remember, just ask him as if you know he'll say yes.

-I can't.

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You want to stay on my good side, right?

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-Well, yes.

-Heads up!

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-Nice catch!

-Thanks.

-Do it.

-Um, David?

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I was wondering...

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about the dance. If you're not already...

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You want to go together?

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-Yes, actually.

-Great, sounds fun.

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Thanks for asking me.

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He said yes! He actually said yes!

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Now, here's the thing. As David's date, you're part of an elite.

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So we'll need to make sure you meet A-list standards.

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I'm sure I could benefit from your tuition.

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Let's start with your outfit for tonight.

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I have a very fine eye for 19th century painting, Mr Griffith,

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and I've identified this piece as the work of Christopher Broadwin. See?

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He always signs his name with a CB.

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It says so right here.

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Well, well. That's extraordinary.

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As it happens, the curator of the Lauther Museum in London

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is here in Australia, sourcing works at the moment.

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If he agrees to show this painting, it would be very good for Ainsbury.

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It would, wouldn't it?

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Well, make a call, see what you can do.

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London? You're kidding.

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Sophie, Hazel, you have to find a way to get me out of here.

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They're going to send us to London!

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That would be marvellous! I haven't been there for centuries.

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-Don't worry. We'll get you out.

-Maybe Agatha will have some ideas.

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I've got to go to the toilet - I'm busting.

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He came out of a painting?

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Ooooh! That is not supposed to happen.

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This guy Heathcliff must have some major unfinished business.

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He must slaughter his enemies! Then his soul'll be free.

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Perhaps it is a matter of the heart?

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For real. Some crazy chick's bugging that cat.

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-He said he made a vow to seek Rebecca's hand.

-Bingo!

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Sophus, run us through the Ghost Council's rules on unrequited love.

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"In a case such as this, the unhappy lover is granted

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"one day to seek a kiss.

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"If he succeeds, his quest is over."

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So, if they kiss, he'll finally go away?

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He'll have nothing tying him to this world.

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Then he can move on to the afterdeath.

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That looks great. On me!

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And it even looks OK on you.

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Check this out. She actually looks like one of us.

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Lady Rebecca?

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There's some guy calling for you, Rebecca.

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Lady Rebecca?

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Do you not see my love

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Go down the garden there?

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It's your actor friend.

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Rivalling the glittering sunshine The glory of her raven hair.

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-Oh, like the shirt!

-Such beauty!

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To touch her I would not dare.

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What is he doing?

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He's reciting poetry.

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He wrote that poem for me, you know.

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Yeah, well, we've all got our problems.

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Could you please excuse us for a moment?

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I need to speak with him alone.

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I can hear the alleys ring!

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Though she may never look on me

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Though I may never woo her

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I shall love her until I die.

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Heathcliff, you have to stop this.

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My love deserves to be courted in style!

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Give me one chance, Rebecca.

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It's all I ask. Come to the dance with me.

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I'm sorry, Heathcliff, I'm already going with David.

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David?

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Who is David?

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I have pledged my heart.

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It is unsuitable for you to dally with another. I cannot allow it!

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It is not up to you.

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I can DALLY with whomever I wish.

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I do not belong in your world any more, Heathcliff.

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And you certainly do not fit into mine.

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-En garde!

-OK, who are you and what's with the zucchini?

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I had hoped for a sword, but this courgette was all I could find.

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-En garde!

-Huh?

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You take French, don't you? En garde! I challenge you to a duel!

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A duel? Is this some kind of joke?

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You are the most unchivalrous,

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uncouth excuse for a man I have ever seen.

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You have offended me, sir! Now, en garde!

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BOYS LAUGH

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'Just one kiss, Rebecca!'

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-It is the only way to free Jonathan and Heathcliff.

-What about me?

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I believe it's called "Taking one for the team".

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Can it not wait until after my date with David?

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Tonight I am A-list. I cannot kiss a guy in a frilly shirt!

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It would be social death!

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You liked him. You gave him your handkerchief.

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I did not give it to him!

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It fell off the balcony and he picked it up.

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How was I supposed to know he would keep it for 150 years?

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-I wish he'd stayed in the painting!

-So do I!

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Heathcliff!

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HAND-DRYER BLASTS

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HEATHCLIFF SCREAMS

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Back, monster!

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-Hey, what's going on?

-Stand back! It may attack!

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We thought he might have come back.

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We have looked everywhere for him!

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None of this would have happened if Heathcliff hadn't fallen in love.

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Hazel, trust me.

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You don't have any control over who you fall in love with.

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-One day you'll understand.

-I doubt it. Love is pathetic.

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Can we discuss the matter of love another time?

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The old bat's sending the painting to England with me inside!

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You've got to get me out of here!

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OK, we'll find Heathcliff. Stay there.

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I thought, if I waited long enough, one day I'd find her

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and we'd be together for eternity.

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Wow, sounds pretty serious.

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Eternity is a long time.

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You have no idea.

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Well, next time ask her to the dance first.

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It's a lot simpler.

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I don't think there will be a next time.

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I am a man of honour, but I am no fool.

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You have won.

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I would slay a dragon for her,

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but you are "A-list" and I'm just "A chap in a frilly shirt".

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In the knowledge that you love Rebecca as I do, I accept defeat.

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Whoa! Who said anything about love?

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I recognised Broadwin's signature the moment I saw it.

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It's not often we come across such...

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-What are you girls doing here?

-If you please, ma'am,

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we wish to admire the school's new painting.

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It's good to see the students taking an interest in art.

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-Is this some sort of joke?

-I'm sorry?

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This painting is between 10 and 15 years old.

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-But...that's impossible!

-I'm afraid not.

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The mobile phone is a bit of a giveaway, don't you think?

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Perhaps we should do our homework a little more thoroughly next time.

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David, Heathcliff is not my boyfriend.

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I know that's technically true, but he's really into you.

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I know he's a bit...

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What? Ridiculously dedicated?

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Annoyingly cavalier? Unbearably romantic?

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I think you should give him a chance and let him be your date.

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She's all yours.

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You, sir, are a true gentleman.

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Hey, lay off the insults.

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Now, about that shirt.

0:19:330:19:35

It is not fair!

0:19:350:19:36

He has ruined my future with David.

0:19:360:19:39

-I wish I were dead!

-You ARE dead.

0:19:410:19:43

You know what I mean.

0:19:450:19:46

-This is a disaster!

-No, it's not.

0:19:460:19:49

If Heathcliff is to be your date, you can kiss him.

0:19:490:19:52

Kiss him?

0:19:520:19:53

I wish to never see him again!

0:19:530:19:55

Rebecca, you must. You are the only one who can save Jonathan.

0:19:550:19:59

Oh, Jonathan.

0:19:590:20:01

I nearly forgot about him.

0:20:010:20:03

All right, to free Jonathan, one kiss.

0:20:030:20:07

And then I can get on with my life.

0:20:070:20:09

'First I have two dates and now I have none! Where is he?'

0:20:170:20:21

Come on.

0:20:280:20:30

So, what's going on?

0:20:320:20:33

Why aren't you dancing with David?

0:20:330:20:36

There was a change of plans and, well...

0:20:360:20:38

-Heathcliff!

-Who is that?

0:20:420:20:46

May I have this dance?

0:20:480:20:51

-You will be out soon, Jonathan, when Rebecca kisses Heathcliff.

-What?

0:21:070:21:11

Yes! Then it will all be over.

0:21:110:21:12

-Heathcliff will move on to the afterdeath.

-And I'll get out?

0:21:120:21:15

-RICHARD LAUGHS

-Oh, what?!

0:21:150:21:18

If Heathcliff moves on to the afterdeath,

0:21:180:21:21

the two worlds will be sealed forever!

0:21:210:21:24

-What does that mean?

-It means you will be

0:21:240:21:27

forever sealed in this painting.

0:21:270:21:30

If they kiss, Jonathan will be trapped?

0:21:300:21:32

-But Agatha said...

-Agatha must have muddled up the rules again.

0:21:320:21:35

You've got to stop them from kissing! Go! Go! Go!

0:21:350:21:39

You didn't have to go to all that trouble for me, you know.

0:21:400:21:43

-But you're glad I did?

-Yes.

0:21:450:21:47

I'm glad you did.

0:21:470:21:49

I had no idea how handsome you'd look without...

0:21:490:21:53

-you know.

-My frilly shirt?

0:21:530:21:56

Come on, Sophie, quickly! Hurry!

0:21:580:22:00

Hurry, Sophie! There's no time to waste!

0:22:040:22:07

Perhaps things could work out between us.

0:22:070:22:10

We do have some things in common.

0:22:100:22:12

Such as?

0:22:120:22:13

Well, you recite poetry and I love listening to it.

0:22:130:22:18

It is a perfect combination.

0:22:180:22:20

BOTH: Noooo!

0:22:290:22:31

'Stop, Rebecca, stop! Jonathan is in danger.

0:22:310:22:36

'He needs our help. Do not kiss him!'

0:22:360:22:40

-Rebecca?

-My sisters...

-Stop!

0:22:400:22:43

If you kiss him, Jonathan will be trapped forever!

0:22:430:22:46

Jonathan, trapped? Is this true?

0:22:460:22:49

-You were going to let Jonathan take your place forever?!

-No.

0:22:490:22:53

Our love can never thrive at the expense of another.

0:22:530:22:57

-Isn't there some other way?

-No! Honour demands it -

0:22:580:23:03

from both of us.

0:23:030:23:06

This was easier when I didn't like you.

0:23:080:23:11

Thank you, young man!

0:23:530:23:55

Why is my armour so wet?

0:23:570:24:00

Good to have you back, my boy.

0:24:000:24:02

I believe this belongs to you.

0:24:130:24:15

Thank you.

0:24:150:24:17

You OK?

0:24:170:24:19

Are you OK?

0:24:190:24:21

A bit stiff and sore.

0:24:210:24:23

It's like I've been stuck in a painting for 150 years.

0:24:230:24:26

I'm sorry, Jonathan. I did not mean to get you involved in this mess.

0:24:260:24:30

It's not so messy. Besides, that's what friends are for.

0:24:300:24:34

Want to boogie?

0:24:340:24:35

May I have this dance?

0:24:450:24:47

I'm telling you, love is seriously stupid.

0:24:510:24:54

'Maybe Heathcliff is right.

0:25:020:25:04

'Maybe you can still find a boy who will slay a dragon.'

0:25:040:25:07

# Some things have changed

0:25:220:25:25

# Some things have stayed the same

0:25:250:25:28

# Life and death are not so far apart. #

0:25:280:25:31

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0:25:310:25:32

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