Merry Garbage Day! Endangered Species


Merry Garbage Day!

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# Let's go on an adventure

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# That isn't very wise

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# I love you guys

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Waaaaaaah!

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Aaaaaaaah!

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# This is getting crazier

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# Feels like we're endangered

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# Species. #

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HE SIGHS

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MERL HUMS A JOLLY TUNE

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SHE SIGHS I hate August.

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SHE SIGHS Did you hear me?

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-Yes.

-Don't you want to know why?

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-Not really, no.

-HE CONTINUES HUMMING

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Because there's no holidays in August.

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What kind of stupid month has no holidays?

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All work and no play makes Pickle GO CRAZY!

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-Work? When did you work?

-A figure of speech, Merl.

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Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh boy! Just one more sleep.

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Huh? What? Huh? One more sleep till what?

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My most favouritest holiday of them all is coming up.

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Garbage Day.

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Intrigued. Tell me about it, Gull.

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Oh, Garbage Day is the bestest.

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The garbage fairy comes and he leaves all the good he-gulls

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and she-gulls some yummy, nummy, tasty trash.

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You know what, Gull?

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-Garbage Day sounds totally...

-El grosso?

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-..amazing!

-Yuck.

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Garbage is for throwing away, not for celebrating.

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Do you celebrate every time that you go to the potty?

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TOILET FLUSHES

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SPANISH MUSIC PLAYS

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-Uggggh.

-That's the right idea, Gull.

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We just need to get into the Garbage Day spirit.

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Hang on to your face, everybody,

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cos this is going to be the best Garbage Day ever!

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Huh. The Garbage Day - she is just a joke.

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-HE MUTTERS ANGRILY

-Serious...

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Holiday ridiculoso...

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-Come on.

-THEY HEAVE AND STRUGGLE

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-What are you doing?

-Told you it would fit.

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-What is this abomination?

-It's our Garbage Day tree.

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This is where the garbage fairy leaves all the presents.

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It's an ancient G-Day tradition,

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the origins of which have been lost to time.

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-Hey, Merl, hold this.

-Eh? Like so?

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Yup. It's a traditional Garbage Day cracker. Now pull!

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IT EXPLODES THEY SCREAM

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Ay-ay-ay.

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Ohhhhh, he got the prize! Lucky duck.

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I am not this duck of which you do the speaking.

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You cannot fill our home with garbage.

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But Merl, if we don't make the stump as stinky as we can,

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the garbage fairy might not come and...Garbage Day will be ruined!

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HE SOBS

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-Look, the Garbage Day, she is not a real holiday.

-Come on, Merl.

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-Quit being such a garbage Scrooge.

-Trash-ball fight!

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Aaah! Aw! Oooh!

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More to the right. That's your left.

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That's your butt. That's your beak.

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There ya go!

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WHIRRING

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Garbage Day, meet the whacky backpacky - el machino cleano!

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Mm-ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, careful, Merl,

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or you'll have to kiss everyone you meet under the mistletoe.

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HE PUCKERS HIS LIPS

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That? It is not a mistletoe. It is the dirty and stinky socks.

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-Aaaaaaah! My eyes!

-SIRENS BLARE

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They burn like the feet of a thousand flamenco dancers.

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Muy caliente. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

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Ha-ha! Feeling the Garbage Day spirit yet?

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Nooooo!

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Aw, quit being such a garbage Scrooge and get back here

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so Gull can kiss you.

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You've got mistletoe on your face.

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Mwah, mwah, mwah.

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Gaaaah!

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Aaaaaaaaaah!

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El bathroomo, my one refuge from this fake holiday of trash.

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Ooh, I could kiss you, toilet, but I will not.

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This would be...how you say? Unhygienic and...awkward.

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BOTH: # On the seventh day of Garbage Day the dumper gave to me

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# Seven flies a swarming Six eggs decaying

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# Five mouldy things

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BOTH: # Four crawling worms Three spent pens

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# Two plastic cups

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# And a bucket full of stinky old cheese. #

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Are you feeling the Garbage Day spirit yet?

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No! Vamos. Exito el bathroomo.

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Hm.

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Fine, we'll leave you to your Scrooging.

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You big garbage Scrooge.

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Hmph. The Garbage Day -

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she has lit a fire in the belly of that which is me.

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Today I shall bring an end to this holiday of the yuck!

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PPBBBBTTT! That's the spirit, Merl.

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BOTH: # On the eighth day of Garbage Day

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# The dumper gave to me

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# Pbt-pbt-pbt-pbt-pbt Ppbt-pppbt...#

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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Good-day. I am the man of the garbage, yes?

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But if you're here, that means the garbage fairy didn't come.

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HE GASPS Our home wasn't stinky enough!

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Oh, well. Better luck the next time, no?

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Aaah-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaa!

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Aaaaah!

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Hooray! Now we'll be the stinkiest, for sure!

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Aah...smell that holiday spirit!

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HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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# Deck the stump with loads of garbage

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# Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la

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# 'Tis the season to love garbage La-la-la-la-la... #

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What you got there, Merl?

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There is not enough room in this stump for both the Garbage Day

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and the Merl so this is my suitcase!

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I pack it so I can...

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Throw it on the Garbage Day heap as a big old holiday offering!

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Aah! What? Noooooo!

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Aww, look. His eyes are leaking happiness.

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-What is the meaning of this?

-Glad you asked.

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The garbage fairy only visits the stinkiest houses

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so we made a monster garbage pile to get it nice and smelly in here.

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I can't wait till the garbage fairy visits us!

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THEY HUM: Silent Night

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Enough! This is all a lie. There is no garbage fairy.

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HE GASPS

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No garbage fairy?

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How could you be such a...a...garbage Scrooge?

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Uh! There is no holiday to ruin.

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This festival - she is a lie, a fake, a shamboozle-mente.

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I will show you, by proving the garbage fairy does not exist.

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-Wh-wh-what?

-You-ou-ou wouldn't...

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No? Let us see.

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If the garbage fairy only comes to the stinkiest of houses,

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then I shall make our house a ranko-stinkamente completo!

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Waaah-ha-ha-ha! Oooh-ha-ha-ha...

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Whoa, it's so beautiful.

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Merl, for the love of stink, grab a mask!

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Ha! Where is your garbage fairy now? There is no such thing as a...

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GURGLING

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Oh... Wow.

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-Waaaoooh!

-You... You cannot exist.

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Of course I exist.

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I exist in every mouldy bun, in every busted toy,

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in every pair of dirty underpants.

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It cannot be. The garbage fairy - it is a lie.

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Oh, no, Merl. Garbage Day is real.

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It's the day we celebrate the glorious circle of waste

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with our loved ones.

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Huh. OK.

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When you put it like this, the holiday,

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she does not sound so disgusting.

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Then why did you try to destroy it with the whacky backpacky?

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You must suffer the consequences, garbage Scrooge!

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No! Please! I can still do the changing, yes?

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I believe, I believe!

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You must learn to love the garbage or you shall become the garbage!

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Nooooooo!

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Aaah! I believe, I believe, I belieeeeve! I believe...

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Merl? Merl? Are you OK?

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-What? What day is this day?

-Ooh, ooh, I know, I know!

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-It's Garbage Day!

-Garbage Day? Then I have not done the missing of it.

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Gull, fetch me a half-eaten can of sardines.

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Pickle, build us a bigger garbage pile.

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Today, we celebrate! Ha-ha-ha!

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# Four crawling worms Three spent pens... #

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Sorry, Merl. No can do.

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-HE GASPS

-For why?

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The garbage man picked up all the garbage, silly.

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It happens every Garbage Day.

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But I... I... I mean...

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Oh, of course. No problemo.

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I will just do the waiting till next year.

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But, Merl, Garbage Day happens every week.

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-HE SQUEAKS

-Every...week?

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Hey, the garbage man missed a bit.

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Wait a sec... "To Merl, From..." The garbage fairy!

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Aaah! He was here? I knew it! What is it?

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-Euuurrghhhh...

-HE RETCHES

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# And a bucket full of stinky old cheese. #

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Merry Garbage Day, everyone!

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THEY SING THE TUNE TO ONCE IN ROYAL DAVID'S CITY

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