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# Let's go on an adventure
# That isn't very wise
# I love you guys
# This is getting crazier
# Feels like we're endangered
# Species. #
MERL HUMS A JOLLY TUNE
SHE SIGHS I hate August.
SHE SIGHS Did you hear me?
-Don't you want to know why?
-Not really, no.
-HE CONTINUES HUMMING
Because there's no holidays in August.
What kind of stupid month has no holidays?
All work and no play makes Pickle GO CRAZY!
-Work? When did you work?
-A figure of speech, Merl.
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh boy! Just one more sleep.
Huh? What? Huh? One more sleep till what?
My most favouritest holiday of them all is coming up.
Intrigued. Tell me about it, Gull.
Oh, Garbage Day is the bestest.
The garbage fairy comes and he leaves all the good he-gulls
and she-gulls some yummy, nummy, tasty trash.
You know what, Gull?
-Garbage Day sounds totally...
Garbage is for throwing away, not for celebrating.
Do you celebrate every time that you go to the potty?
SPANISH MUSIC PLAYS
-That's the right idea, Gull.
We just need to get into the Garbage Day spirit.
Hang on to your face, everybody,
cos this is going to be the best Garbage Day ever!
Huh. The Garbage Day - she is just a joke.
-HE MUTTERS ANGRILY
-THEY HEAVE AND STRUGGLE
-What are you doing?
-Told you it would fit.
-What is this abomination?
-It's our Garbage Day tree.
This is where the garbage fairy leaves all the presents.
It's an ancient G-Day tradition,
the origins of which have been lost to time.
-Hey, Merl, hold this.
-Eh? Like so?
Yup. It's a traditional Garbage Day cracker. Now pull!
IT EXPLODES THEY SCREAM
Ohhhhh, he got the prize! Lucky duck.
I am not this duck of which you do the speaking.
You cannot fill our home with garbage.
But Merl, if we don't make the stump as stinky as we can,
the garbage fairy might not come and...Garbage Day will be ruined!
-Look, the Garbage Day, she is not a real holiday.
-Come on, Merl.
-Quit being such a garbage Scrooge.
Aaah! Aw! Oooh!
More to the right. That's your left.
That's your butt. That's your beak.
There ya go!
Garbage Day, meet the whacky backpacky - el machino cleano!
Oh, careful, Merl,
or you'll have to kiss everyone you meet under the mistletoe.
HE PUCKERS HIS LIPS
That? It is not a mistletoe. It is the dirty and stinky socks.
-Aaaaaaah! My eyes!
They burn like the feet of a thousand flamenco dancers.
Muy caliente. Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ha-ha! Feeling the Garbage Day spirit yet?
Aw, quit being such a garbage Scrooge and get back here
so Gull can kiss you.
You've got mistletoe on your face.
Mwah, mwah, mwah.
El bathroomo, my one refuge from this fake holiday of trash.
Ooh, I could kiss you, toilet, but I will not.
This would be...how you say? Unhygienic and...awkward.
BOTH: # On the seventh day of Garbage Day the dumper gave to me
# Seven flies a swarming Six eggs decaying
# Five mouldy things
BOTH: # Four crawling worms Three spent pens
# Two plastic cups
# And a bucket full of stinky old cheese. #
Are you feeling the Garbage Day spirit yet?
No! Vamos. Exito el bathroomo.
Fine, we'll leave you to your Scrooging.
You big garbage Scrooge.
Hmph. The Garbage Day -
she has lit a fire in the belly of that which is me.
Today I shall bring an end to this holiday of the yuck!
PPBBBBTTT! That's the spirit, Merl.
BOTH: # On the eighth day of Garbage Day
# The dumper gave to me
# Pbt-pbt-pbt-pbt-pbt Ppbt-pppbt...#
KNOCK AT DOOR
Good-day. I am the man of the garbage, yes?
But if you're here, that means the garbage fairy didn't come.
HE GASPS Our home wasn't stinky enough!
Oh, well. Better luck the next time, no?
Hooray! Now we'll be the stinkiest, for sure!
Aah...smell that holiday spirit!
HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS
# Deck the stump with loads of garbage
# Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la
# 'Tis the season to love garbage La-la-la-la-la... #
What you got there, Merl?
There is not enough room in this stump for both the Garbage Day
and the Merl so this is my suitcase!
I pack it so I can...
Throw it on the Garbage Day heap as a big old holiday offering!
Aah! What? Noooooo!
Aww, look. His eyes are leaking happiness.
-What is the meaning of this?
-Glad you asked.
The garbage fairy only visits the stinkiest houses
so we made a monster garbage pile to get it nice and smelly in here.
I can't wait till the garbage fairy visits us!
THEY HUM: Silent Night
Enough! This is all a lie. There is no garbage fairy.
No garbage fairy?
How could you be such a...a...garbage Scrooge?
Uh! There is no holiday to ruin.
This festival - she is a lie, a fake, a shamboozle-mente.
I will show you, by proving the garbage fairy does not exist.
No? Let us see.
If the garbage fairy only comes to the stinkiest of houses,
then I shall make our house a ranko-stinkamente completo!
Whoa, it's so beautiful.
Merl, for the love of stink, grab a mask!
Ha! Where is your garbage fairy now? There is no such thing as a...
-You... You cannot exist.
Of course I exist.
I exist in every mouldy bun, in every busted toy,
in every pair of dirty underpants.
It cannot be. The garbage fairy - it is a lie.
Oh, no, Merl. Garbage Day is real.
It's the day we celebrate the glorious circle of waste
with our loved ones.
When you put it like this, the holiday,
she does not sound so disgusting.
Then why did you try to destroy it with the whacky backpacky?
You must suffer the consequences, garbage Scrooge!
No! Please! I can still do the changing, yes?
I believe, I believe!
You must learn to love the garbage or you shall become the garbage!
Aaah! I believe, I believe, I belieeeeve! I believe...
Merl? Merl? Are you OK?
-What? What day is this day?
-Ooh, ooh, I know, I know!
-It's Garbage Day!
-Garbage Day? Then I have not done the missing of it.
Gull, fetch me a half-eaten can of sardines.
Pickle, build us a bigger garbage pile.
Today, we celebrate! Ha-ha-ha!
# Four crawling worms Three spent pens... #
Sorry, Merl. No can do.
The garbage man picked up all the garbage, silly.
It happens every Garbage Day.
But I... I... I mean...
Oh, of course. No problemo.
I will just do the waiting till next year.
But, Merl, Garbage Day happens every week.
Hey, the garbage man missed a bit.
Wait a sec... "To Merl, From..." The garbage fairy!
Aaah! He was here? I knew it! What is it?
# And a bucket full of stinky old cheese. #
Merry Garbage Day, everyone!
THEY SING THE TUNE TO ONCE IN ROYAL DAVID'S CITY