A Joke Too Far Me Too!


A Joke Too Far

Drama series about parents and children. It's tell-a-joke day in Riverseafingal, and Rudi is having a great time until one of his jokes upsets Dr Juno.


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Transcript


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# Come on and get on down to the city

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# Where the trains all clatter through

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# Hey! Look at that driver driving

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-# I want to ride that train of blue

-Me too

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# I'm looking way up high to the windows

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# Take a peek for an inside view

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# All these people busy working

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# I want to see what they all do

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# Come on, let's weave around the market

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# Do you hear the hullabaloo?

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# Everybody's busy selling

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-# I wanna buy me something new

-Me too

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# Look through the arches under the station

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# Down where the pigeons perch and coo

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# Take a taxi ride to the river

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# I wanna drive down the avenue

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# Hey, look at those buses gleaming

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# They look so clean and spanking new

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# All lined up to drive around the city

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-# Let me ting that bell

-Ding, ding!

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# Going to ride on round to the school stop

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# Where the children hurry through

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# Sit down, the teacher's teaching

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-# I'd love to learn a thing or two

-Me too

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# I love to skip in Riverseafingal

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# Riverseafingal, by the sea... #

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Seven o'clock.

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# ..Come on and get on down to the city

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-# Where the ferryboat sails are blue

-Sails are blue

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# Time to call on Granny Murray

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-# She'd love to say hello to you! #

-Hello!

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Hello, honey pie!

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Come away in and see who's at home today!

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# Granny Murray's house has two at home to play

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# Granny Murray's house is home to? #

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Who's here today?

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Well, we've got Megan and we've got Shaun.

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But don't just sit there, let's get busy!

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PFFFTTT!

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HORN HONKS

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We're being silly today. Do you know why?

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-Why?

-Because today is Tell A Joke Day!

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And that's when we play silly tricks, like...

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PFFFTTT!

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..whoopee cushions! And...

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-HONKS HORN

-..clown's horns!

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-Now, I'll tell you a joke. Are you ready?

-Yes!

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I say, I say, I say,

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what do you call a happy hippopotamus?

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-I don't know.

-A happypotamus!

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-THEY LAUGH

-It's silly!

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We've got Megan and we've got Shaun, but someone's missing from home.

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Oh! Not any more! Who's coming home to Granny Murray?

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Oh, yes, it's Jack with Rudi.

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Hello, there!

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-Rudi!

-Hi, Granny Murray.

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Hello, there! And Jack, well done.

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-Through we come!

-HORN HONKS

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Hey! Oh, wow, sounds like a joke shop in here.

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THEY LAUGH

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We've been practising for Tell A Joke Day.

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Wow! I like the sound of that.

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OK, I say, I say, I say,

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-where did the sheep go to get his hair cut?

-I don't know.

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The baaaa-rbers.

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Ah, Rudi!

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Why don't you all dress Claude up as a funny man?

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I say, I say, I say, why did the bicycle fall over?

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It was "two tyred"!

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-Oh, I need to sit down after that.

-Me too, my tummy aches from laughing.

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh, Rudi, do you want to pull a cracker with me for Tell A Joke Day?

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Oh, yeah, there's always a joke inside a cracker.

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POP!

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-GRANNY MURRAY CLEARS HER THROAT

-I say, I say, I say,

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what noise does a cat make in a racing car?

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I don't know.

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Meeoowwww!

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-THEY LAUGH

-It's silly!

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I'll tell my customers that one.

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You know, my Angus was a proper joker,

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-but sometimes he took it too far.

-What do you mean?

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Once, he and his big band were playing at a dance

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and he stopped the music and said,

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"Gentles and ladymen,

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"I shall now play for you the Waterfall Symphony."

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Then he took out a hosepipe and soaked everyone!

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Some of the dancers were very cross.

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You should always know when it's time to stop.

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I think we should stop chatting and go and check Claude out.

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Oh, erm, Rudi,

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-come and smell Claude's flower.

-OK.

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SHE LAUGHS

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I'm soaked through! PFFFTTT!

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Jack, you little whoopee-snapper!

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Is that for me? I'll have fun with this at work.

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PFFFT!

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Right, see you all later.

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Bye-bye!

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Now, remember, always know when it's time to stop.

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-Thanks, see you later.

-Bye, bye, darling,

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-I'll be thinking of you.

-Me too.

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Will you keep an eye on Rudi and make sure he goes the right way to work?

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No time to walk today, can you tell me a quicker way?

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HORN HONKS Thanks.

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# I'm in, in, in, in, in a hurry

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# I nee, nee, nee, need to speed to work

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# I take a, take a trip in a taxi

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# I'll be, be, be, be, be, be there quite quick

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# Hurry, hurry, hurry through the streets now

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# Rolling, rolling, rolling down the road

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# Whining, whining, whining drives the speed up

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# Squeaking, squeaking, squeaking slows us down.

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# Rolling, rolling, rolling through the streets now

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# Squeaking, squeaking to a stop

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# I'm in, in, in, in, in a hurry

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# I nee, nee, nee, need to speed to work! #

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HE PANTS

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Phew! Thanks for that. Now what?

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Ah, I need to put on my work clothes.

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All dressed and ready to go.

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I reckon I'm gonna have some fun at work today!

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-Morning, Rudi.

-Oh, hello, Mickey John.

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-Have you heard what day it is today?

-Yep, Tell A Joke Day!

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I say, I say, I say, what do you get when a cow's got hiccups?

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Milkshake! THEY BOTH LAUGH

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How about this one? What do you call a donkey with three legs?

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-A wonkey!

-A wonkey!

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Oh, I wish every day was Tell A Joke Day.

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You'll be telling jokes to your customers all day.

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You try and stop me. I can't wait!

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-Give away a joke with everything you sell.

-Where do I get the jokes?

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As it happens, I've got a huge collection of cracker jokes.

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I've saved them up since I was ten. You can put one in every bag.

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Back soon.

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PFFTT!

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HE LAUGHS

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Oh, I wonder how my little joker Jack's getting on?

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# I love to skip in Riverseafingal Riverseafingal by the sea

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# I love to skip in Riverseafingal Riverseafingal, that's for me. #

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Oh, now you look like Tina Taxi!

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You put that on, then.

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That's what Raymond wears on the train.

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-BOY COUGHS

-Oh, that's a bad cough.

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What else do we have in here?

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That's right. Oh, it's right down to the ground!

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What a lot of silly sausages!

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Is that nice? Do you like it?

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JACK LAUGHS

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Oh, Jack, I wish Dad was here to share the giggle.

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Yeah.

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'What are you doing in the market, Daddy?'

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-I'm back, Rudi.

-Hello, Mickey John! Did you bring the cracker jokes?

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Yep. Listen to this.

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THEY GIGGLE

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What does a farmer use to mend a hole in his trousers?

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I don't know!

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-A cabbage patch!

-THEY LAUGH

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-I'll put one in every bag.

-Okey-dokey.

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-I'd better get back to school. See ya!

-See ya, Mickey John.

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Right, I'd best get down to work.

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# Doo-be doo-be-doo

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# I make it look easy What I doo-be doo-be-do

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# And what I do Is sell to you and you and you

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# All of the veggies for a stew

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# But it's more than meets the eye

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# What I do for you

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# As I buy and buy

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# While you still sleep

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# Those fruit and veg to eat

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# And the flowers in the early hours

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# So when wake-up comes

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# It's there for you

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# The market stalls are there to view

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# Oh, the market, the market What a wonderful place

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# The hubbub of people The smiles on each face

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# Oh, the market, the market Come look around

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# The hustle, the bustle The bubbles of sound

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# The colours so chaotic and spilling about

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# The smells all exotic, yeah The market cries out

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# Objects to excite you And draw you near

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# The buying and the selling Cheap or dear

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# The market, the market I just love to be there

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# The market is a wonderful place! Diddly-doo-be-da be-doo-be-da-ba

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# Ba-da-be-doo-be-da doo-be-da-doo. #

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-Hello, Rudi.

-Hello, Bobby. Hey, heard any jokes today?

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Erm, kind of. Here, hold out your hands.

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OK.

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HE WHIMPERS

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Is it real?

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Had you fooled. It's a rubber worm but looks like a real one.

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It feels just like a real worm too!

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-Where did you get it?

-Kai's got loads from a joke shop,

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and I'm fed up of finding them around the house,

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so I thought you might use them. There's 20 there.

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Brilliant, Bobby. I'll find a use for them.

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-I'm sure you will. See ya!

-See ya later, Bobs!

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-PFFTT!

-Oops!

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HE LAUGHS Oh, naughty me!

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Rubber worms, eh? I wonder what you're wriggling about doing, Jack?

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Jack leads the way, everybody!

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Jack!

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Woo-woo!

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-Do you think Dad's having as much fun as us?

-Yes.

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I'm gonna play a joke that'll really make Jack laugh when I tell him.

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I'm gonna hide these rubber worms in the fruit and veg.

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Worms ahoy!

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-Hi, there, Rudi.

-Hello, Doc! What can I get for you?

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-Two juicy apples, please.

-Two juicy apples coming right up.

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Hey, Doc, I say, I say, I say,

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-what's worse than finding a maggot in your apple?

-I don't know.

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-Finding half a maggot!

-Oh, very good.

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-That's part of Tell A Joke Day, I suppose.

-Yep.

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You get a free joke in every bag.

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-Great, I like a good laugh.

-In that case,

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I'll give you an extra bonus joke.

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HE GIGGLES

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There you go, two lovely, juicy apples.

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-50 pence, please.

-Thanks, Rudi.

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-Maybe you should check I've given you the right apples.

-All right.

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Ohh! Oh!

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-There's a worm in the bag.

-It's not a real worm, Doc!

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It's a rubber worm. It was a joke.

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HE LAUGHS

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I don't think that's funny.

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What if I'd eaten a bit of rubber worm?

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I would have got an upset tummy. That's a joke too far.

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-Keep your apples. Goodbye.

-But, Doc...

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Oh, what have I done?

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I've been trying to make my customers laugh because it's Tell A Joke Day,

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and I've gone and upset my best customer.

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What will I do? Where did the time go?

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At seven o'clock, I dropped Jack off.

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They made funny noises with a whoopee cushion.

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The children dressed Claude as a funny man.

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Granny Murray told me it was Tell A Joke Day. We had a great giggle.

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At eight o'clock, I got to work and unpacked my stall.

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At nine o'clock, Mickey John and I told jokes.

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I laughed and laughed.

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Mickey John had an idea - I could give away a joke to every customer.

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At ten o'clock, Mickey John came back with a bag of jokes

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for me to put into the fruit and veg bags.

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At three o'clock, Bobby played a joke on me.

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She put a worm in my hand, but it was a joke rubber worm.

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She left me a whole bag of rubber worms to have fun with.

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At four o'clock, I put the worms all over my stall as a joke.

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I thought Jack would think it was hilarious.

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But Dr Juno didn't. When I put a worm in her apples,

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she screamed and said she didn't want to buy my apples after all.

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She went off in a huff. I've upset my best customer. What can I do?

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Remember, always know when it's time to stop.

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Always know when it's time to stop. That's it!

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I need to find all these rubber worms before I make one joke too many.

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I've got one here, which leaves 19 to find before my next customer arrives.

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Right, it's a race against time!

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# I've got to do it I've got to do it

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# I've got to beat the clock before the chime

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# I've got to sort it I've got to sort it

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# I've got to do the job on time

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# Like a busy bee I'm going to beat that bong

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# I'm going to finish this job before I finish this so-o-o-ong

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# Do we think he's going to do it? Do the job that needs to be done?

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# Will he know how to fix it?

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# Will he finish what he has begun?

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# As sure as we are friends, he will get there in the end

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# Because he knows what he should do

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-# I'm gonna do it

-He's gonna do it

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# I'm gonna beat the clock before the chime

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-# I'm gonna sort it

-He's gonna sort it

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# I'm gonna do the job on time

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# Like a busy bee I'm going to beat that bong

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# I'm going to finish this job Before I finish this so-o-o-ong. #

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Phew! I managed to find all 20 worms.

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And now they're safely back in the bag.

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-Rudi, I'm sorry I flew off the handle like that.

-No, Doc,

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it was my fault, I'm really sorry.

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-I was just a bit shocked.

-You were right.

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We don't want anybody swallowing any rubber worms.

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I know now when a joke's got to stop. And here are two lovely, juicy apples

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absolutely free and absolutely free of worms.

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-Thank you, Rudi. See you later.

-See ya later, Doc.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Oh, I wonder if Jack's got a smile on his face now.

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Let's play a game of Jelly-giggle!

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-Do you want to?

-Yes.

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We have to eat our jelly, and look into each other's eyes,

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but we mustn't laugh.

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-Are we ready?

-Yes.

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Serious face. No laughing.

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Go!

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SHE GIGGLES

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-JACK LAUGHS

-You're too funny, Jack. Honestly!

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I bet Dad wishes he was here playing Jelly-giggle. It's all wobbly!

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'I want to be with you, Daddy.'

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Rudi, come away through!

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Someone to see you, Jack.

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-Daddy!

-Hey, give us a cuddle.

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-Sounds like you've had a great time.

-Yep.

-We sure did.

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-Say thanks to Granny Murray.

-Thanks, Granny Murray!

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It's a pleasure, my angel.

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Thanks from me, too, Granny Murray. I remembered what you said -

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-always know when to stop. It saved the day.

-Thanks, Rudi.

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Right, come on, you two, you'd better be off.

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Come on, mate. There you go.

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Bye, my darlings, I'm looking forward to next time.

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Me too. Come on, Jack! Let's talk about our time away.

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I suppose you want me to tell you all about my time too.

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# Well, there was

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# Waving, greeting, hello, meeting

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# Bye-bye, closing, waking, dozing

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# Eating, sleeping, fetching, sketching

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# Painting, stretching, glueing, chewing

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# Sticking up and wiping round

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# Dressing up and sitting down. #

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SHE PUFFS

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But what was really special about today?

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Well, Claude was dressed as a funny man

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because today was Tell A Joke Day.

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The children told some brilliant jokes and made funny noises.

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Rudi told me some jokes as well.

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Then we dressed up in silly clothes.

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We mixed them all up, we looked hilarious.

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And when we went to the park, we had more fun.

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We tried to see who could do the silliest walk.

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Back at home, Jack and I had bowls of jelly,

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so we played Jelly-giggle. It was impossible to keep a straight face.

0:18:220:18:27

Later, Rudi said he remembered about when it was time to stop.

0:18:270:18:31

So everything had a happy ending.

0:18:310:18:35

Come closer if you want to smell my flower.

0:18:350:18:38

Did I squirt you?

0:18:390:18:41

I hope you enjoyed yourself. Me too.

0:18:410:18:44

Bye-bye, honey pie.

0:18:440:18:47

# I love to skip in Riverseafingal Riverseafingal by the sea

0:18:470:18:51

# I love to skip in Riverseafingal Riverseafingal, that's for me. #

0:18:510:18:56

# Come on and get on down to the city

0:18:560:18:59

-# Where the ferryboat sails are blue

-Sails are blue

0:18:590:19:02

# Time to call on Granny Murray

0:19:020:19:04

# She'd love to say goodbye to you! #

0:19:040:19:10

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