DIY Roy ROY


DIY Roy

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Transcript


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'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

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'He lives in an ordinary house on an ordinary street.

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The only trouble is, he doesn't look very ordinary.

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'All Roy really wants is to fit in

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'but it's very hard to stay out of trouble

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'when you're a cartoon!'

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ROY!

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ROY!

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ROY!

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Roy!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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'Roy and his classmates have been given a rather exciting project

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'by their teacher, Miss Sheringham.'

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The project is called The World Of Work

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and it's all about giving the students

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a little taste of the working world.

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Jaws is going to be so excited when he sees his new hutch.

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Yeah, the old ones banjaxed!

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He's chewed it to bits.

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Paper smothers rock.

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-Ah, no way! Best out of 20.

-I don't think so.

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You can't argue with Rock, Paper, Scissors.

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I get to report on Roy's group,

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you get to report on Cathy's group.

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Now, if anybody has any questions, well...keep them to yourselves,

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I don't like questions -

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and that's off the record.

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Now, remember, all the reports are going onto the school website

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so it's important that you journalists get your facts right.

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No making anything up.

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Now, class, you have the weekend to get your projects done

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and I want to see the finished results first thing Monday morning.

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Who knows, it might give you all a few ideas

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as to what you want to be when you grow up.

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So, let's get to work!

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When I grow up I'm going to be the captain of the Polish football team.

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Might play for the Irish squad too.

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If they're playing a match I'll play half for each side, that's fair.

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I'm going to be an Oscar-winning film director. I love films.

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When I grow up I want to be a journalist.

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One of the ones who gets to the bottom of the story.

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I'm going to be a teacher.

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You don't have to do much and you get months off for the holidays.

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Easy peasy!

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Yeah, I'm probably going to be a DJ.

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You get to fly all over the world

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and you get to go to the coolest parties for free

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and you don't even have to learn to play an instrument.

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'Roy, in the meantime,

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'can't quite figure out what he's going to be when he grows up.'

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I've always wanted to be an astronaut.

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BOING

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BOING

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BOING

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Mum! Roy's being creepy on the trampoline again!

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'But then, being a cowboy would be dead cool.'

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Howdy, pardners!

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-HORSE NEIGHING

-Whoa!

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'And I've always fancied being a cool secret agent.'

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Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah.

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-Hm-mm.

-CLATTERING

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-Hang on a second, Aoife.

-Oh, oh, ooh!

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-Hey, Becky! I'm stuck!

-Mum!

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'Becky says that whatever job I end up doing

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'I'm probably going to end up in jail.'

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'Elsewhere in the O'Brien household, Roy's dad, Bill, is hard at work.

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'He's been bitten by the DIY bug.'

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Look at that, look.

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Opens and closes like a dream.

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DOOR SQUEAKS

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You see, I've always been a bit of a natural at the old DIY.

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That stands for, "do-it-yourself," by the way.

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See this now, look, watch this, look.

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Look.

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Not a wobble.

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Not a squeak. Perfect, look.

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See, I see it as my job to keep this place shipshape

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and in perfect running order.

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Now, I find that a spot of DIY helps you relax.

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And then there's the added satisfaction

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of knowing a job's well done, you know?

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-Yeah, you tell them, love. I'll stick on the kettle.

-Great.

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-Dad.

-Yeah?

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-I need your help.

-What's the story, son?

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-Well, you know we were building this rabbit hutch for school?

-Yeah.

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-Tommy is doing the design...

-Yeah.

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-..and Jack's in charge of construction...

-Right.

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..but, erm, I don't have a job yet.

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Well, son, there's only one job that is truly worth having,

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that's the gaffer.

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-What's a gaffer?

-Gaffer!

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You know, the boss, the big man, the head honcho.

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See, round these parts, son, I'm the gaffer.

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MUM AND BECKY LAUGH

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-Everything all right, yeah?

-Yeah, right as rain. Two sugars, yeah?

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-Yeah, perfect.

-MUM AND BECKY LAUGH

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'Later that day, Roy and his team gather to discuss their project.'

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His food dish goes there, he could put his water bottle there

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and he could sleep in there.

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What more could a rabbit ask for?

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Interesting, but we want to know what you plan to do

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about the chewing problem.

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He isn't called Jaws for nothing!

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I'd like to see him try to chew through this stuff.

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-My dad said it's 100% rabbit-proof.

-Hm, very impressive.

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So, er, what do you think, Gaffer?

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-I don't know, it's deadly and everything but...

-But what?!

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I've spent HOURS working on this thing!

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Well, I just have a few teensy-weensy suggestions

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-to spice things up a little, if you don't mind?

-Here we go.

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Well, I was thinking we add some extra levels

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and we can turn it into a super-duper cool rabbit-plex

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with loads of different rooms and then Jaws has a place to chill out

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and have all his rabbit mates over if he fancies.

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Oh, on the roof, I was thinking we can have a little sundeck

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-for when the weather's decent...

-But, Roy...

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..and a big room at the back for carrot storage

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or maybe we can build another extension?

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Can you get us wood, Jack?

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Roy, you do know that this hutch is for a rabbit, not an elephant!

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And it has to be finished by Monday morning.

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Don't worry, lads, the gaffer is on the job.

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Besides, you've got to think big.

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Now, any questions?

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DAD WHISTLES

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-Somebody's in good form?

-Somebody has got good news.

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-Good news?

-Your husband, the DIY expert,

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has just scored his first big gig and he's getting paid for it too.

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Really? Brilliant. Where?

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-What's up?

-Huh?

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Your father's after getting a job doing a bit of DIY, isn't that nice?

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-What? Seriously?

-Yes, seriously.

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I'm redecorating Mrs Sweeney's front room.

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-Going to give it a touch of the old O'Brien magic.

-Mrs Sweeney?

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Mrs Sweeney from number 13?

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-Mrs Sweeney the head of the Tidy Estate Committee?

-The very woman.

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I was telling her about the bits and bobs

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I've been doing round the house.

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She mentioned that she's in the market for a decorator

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and wallop, back of the net, Bill's your man.

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Starting in the morning, no hanging round.

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-This isn't good.

-You can say that again, she is terrifying.

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No, she's not that bad, Becky.

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Mum, you don't understand, I've seen how Mrs Sweeney rolls

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and it ain't pretty, trust me.

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-We're going to have to move house.

-Might have a point there.

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Hoi.

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Back to work, lads.

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What you think, Roy?

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Nah, do it again.

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Roy, all the wood my dad gave us is nearly gone.

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Not now, Jack, I'm too busy.

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Wah!

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Hey, guys, how's it going?

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Sinead? All right, lads, take five.

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Five minutes MEANS five minutes, not ten, yeah?

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We're going inside to cool down.

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Before something very nasty happens.

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It's going brilliant.

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-Ah, Bill, love.

-Huh?

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Are you sure about this Mrs Sweeney thing being such a good idea?

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After all, you've been working so hard all week in that taxi

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and, well, there's so many jobs left for you to do in this house.

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-I don't know if I can spare you.

-Listen to Mum, Dad.

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Don't be worrying, girls, there's more than enough Bill for everyone!

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Listen, it's a handy few quid for the old holiday fund, isn't it?

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I'm telling you, before we know it, we'll be in Marbella. Hoo-hoo!

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-I'm going to hang that picture.

-Marbella here we come, yeah.

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Were going to have to change our names, Mum.

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She will find us.

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She will hunt us down.

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He's used up all that good wood my dad gave us.

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He means well. He's only trying to help.

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I don't care! He won't let us do anything.

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-He's driving us crazy.

-Have you tried talking to him about it?

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He won't listen to us.

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I don't care what he says, that thing is coming down now.

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Whoa! Whoa! Oof!

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Roy, are you OK?!

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-Help! Ooh!

-Quick, he's under here!

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Help!

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Help me!

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Oh...

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Cheers, lads.

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So er...how about a quick tea break, yeah?

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Five minutes?

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-Bill, are you finished yet?

-Yes, it's nearly up.

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One little tap should sort this fella out.

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Oh...!

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It's OK...

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Maura...

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-Roy, we need to talk.

-I know. And I figured out what went wrong.

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-I'm not blaming either of you, but...

-No, Roy. Listen to us.

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-I just think we should make it bigger.

-BOTH:

-Roy, you're fired.

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I know, but we need to...

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Wait a minute. I'm what?!

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Sorry, Roy. But it's for your own good.

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Seriously, Roy. You could have flattened both of us.

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And we don't, you know... bend back into shape like you do.

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We voted on it. It's two to one

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You're off the team. Sorry, Roy.

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Yeah? You can't fire me. Because I quit!

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Let's see how you get on without the gaffer.

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-Well,

-that

-was awkward.

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-Bill...

-Yes, love?

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You have a word with Roy. He's been sulking in his room for hours,

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and he won't tell me what's wrong. Look. The rain's starting to leak.

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-You mean, have a bit of a man-to-man chat with him?

-Yeah.

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No problem, love. I'm all over it.

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Maybe you should take him to the pictures tomorrow.

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I'm sure Mr Sweeney won't mind if you postpone.

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Nice try, Mum. You're going to have to tell him some time.

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KNOCK AT DOOR

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All right, buddy?

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-Yeah.

-Can I come in for a minute?

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Go on.

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What's up?

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-And don't say you're grand, Roy, cos I know you're not.

-Well...

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..see...

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Come on, you can tell me, son. I'm your da.

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HE SIGHS

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I've been made redundant.

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-What?

-Yup.

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The other lads gave me the sack.

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Seriously?

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That's a bit harsh, isn't it?

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And now I'm not on the team, and my friends are angry at me.

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I'm going to fail my project...

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..and Sinead thinks I'm a loser.

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-What am I going to do?

-Look, don't be worrying,

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things are never really as bad as they seem.

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I think you're brilliant.

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Cheers.

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And I've got just the job

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for a man of your particular qualifications, too.

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-Really?

-Yeah. Just you wait, they'll be begging you to come back.

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Do you think so?

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I know so.

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Just picture it, Roy...

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O'Brien and Son.

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Painters and decorators.

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-Painters and decorators?

-Yeah.

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Ah, there's my two big men.

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Two mad men, more like.

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That's right, ladies, O'Brien and Son

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-are in full effect.

-Yeah.

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And the only thing better than having one gaffer

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is having...two gaffers.

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-Am I right, Dad?

-You're not wrong, son.

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Now, we better get cracking, love.

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Mrs Sweeney's away for the day, and I promised I would be done by six.

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You sure you don't want to go to the cinema?

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The sequel to that robot pirate film is on. And it's in 3-D, my treat.

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I'll throw in some nachos and ice cream, yeah?

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It's a nice idea, love, but we're saving for a holiday, remember?

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Hard as it is to say no to nachos, there's work to be done. Ready, Roy?

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Yeah.

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Yeah, come on...

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-See you, Ma, see you, Becks.

-Oh!

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Oh...

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What'll we do?

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I don't know about you,

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but I'm going to start packing before she gets back.

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I'm thinking of changing my name!

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Do you know where the passports are?

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Ah, Becky! You never know - things might turn out for the best.

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We're doomed!

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BOTH: Ta-da!

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-Well...?

-It's...nice.

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Nice?

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-You hate it, don't you?

-I don't hate it, it's just a bit...

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..boring.

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She's right, Jack.

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We need Roy.

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-Would you not give him a call?

-No way! He knows where we are.

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And he won't listen to us anyway. Remember?

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But you know... maybe if YOU were to talk to him,

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and invite him back?

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-Seriously?

-Come on, Sinead.

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-Please?

-Pretty please?

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Boys... So silly.

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-Hold that chair, son, will you?

-Yup.

-Good lad.

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You see, son...

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the secret to successful DIY is very simple.

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-Nice doggie...

-You either have it or you don't.

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Dad... You OK?

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Yeah. Never better, son.

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Just going to lie here for another little minute.

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It's a lovely carpet, isn't it?

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Dad...

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What?

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Does this paint look a bit blue?

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No, it's grand, it'll dry white.

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Try and stay in between the lines, son, will you?

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-Yeah.

-Good lad.

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-Dad...

-Yeah?

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The dog's footprints. Look.

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Ah, no, that'll be grand. A little bit of turps'll sort that out.

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Dad...

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What?

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Shouldn't we put up the wallpaper first?

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Probably.

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Ooof!

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Aaah...

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Now. One third wallpaper paste...

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..two thirds water.

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Now... No, it's two thirds wallpaper paste,

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and one third water.

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Either way, it doesn't really make any difference.

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There's a good boy. Get off my leg...

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Roy, stop messing with the dog, will you? You're making him giddy!

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-SNARLING AND YAPPING

-Aaagh!

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-BILL COUGHS

-Roy...?

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Roy...? Are you still here? Roy!

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Now...just hold it steady there, son. OK?

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-I am holding it steady.

-Now...

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The trick is, keep it nice and smooth, right?

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-It's slimy...

-But whatever you do,

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-don't let go, all right?

-I can't hold it for much longer!

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Just another minute, son, you just think of the holiday...

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-AAAAAGH...!

-We're all right...

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Now... Easy, this, isn't it?

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-There. Now.

-HE LAUGHS

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-At last. Hah?

-HE SIGHS

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That's more like it, isn't it, Roy?

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-SCRATCHING

-Roy?

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MUFFLED GROANING FROM BEHIND THE WALLPAPER

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Is that you, Roy?

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GROANING CONTINUES

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That's not good, is it? Wait, now. Wait.

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-Maybe we should pop over.

-I don't think so. What if she catches us?

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I'm sure deep down, Rebecca, Mrs Sweeney is a perfectly lovely woman.

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You don't understand, Mum.

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I know what she did to win that Tidy Estates competition.

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I know what's buried under those flower beds.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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-I'll get it.

-Do you see me volunteering?!

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-Ah, hiya, Sinead, love.

-Hey, Mrs O'Brien. Is Roy in?

0:19:020:19:06

He's over the road doing a bit of DIY with his dad.

0:19:060:19:09

-That's not her, is it?

-No, your grand, it's only Sinead.

0:19:090:19:12

Ah, I didn't mean it's only Sinead, love! Oh!

0:19:120:19:14

Don't mind me, I don't know if I'm coming or going today!

0:19:140:19:17

Would it be OK if I called in for a minute?

0:19:170:19:19

-I need to tell Roy something.

-I don't think it's such a good idea.

0:19:190:19:23

It's, it's...a bit complicated.

0:19:230:19:27

-DIY For dummies?!

-Yeah!

0:19:290:19:33

-I know someone who could use that book.

-Aw!

0:19:330:19:37

Go on, you might as well tell someone! We're all doomed anyhow.

0:19:370:19:41

I think you'd better come in, love. Yeah.

0:19:410:19:45

Bill is terrible at DIY, Sinead, love. He always has been.

0:19:480:19:53

Becky and myself have been covering up his disasters for years.

0:19:530:19:56

We taught ourselves. Anyone can do it, really. Well. Anyone except Da!

0:19:560:20:02

I've never been able to tell the truth! It'd break his heart!

0:20:020:20:07

The little look on his face after he finishes a job.

0:20:070:20:10

Still, maybe Roy will turn out to be a whiz at the DIY.

0:20:100:20:15

-Can I be honest, Mrs O'Brien?

-Of course you can, love.

0:20:150:20:19

Well, I think Roy takes after his da.

0:20:190:20:22

-Oh, all right.

-Right, Becky, bring the book. Come on, Sinead.

0:20:250:20:29

Time to send in the reinforcements!

0:20:290:20:32

-You all right?

-ROY MUMBLES

0:20:360:20:38

All right, just mind the carpet.

0:20:380:20:41

It's, erm, a work in progress, you know?

0:20:460:20:50

You should probably come back when we're finished, though,

0:20:500:20:53

we'll have this place looking like a palace.

0:20:530:20:56

But Mrs Sweeney is home in an hour and a half.

0:20:560:20:58

It's going to take a week to fix this place!

0:20:580:21:01

Bill, what are we going to do?! We'll have to pay for all of this!

0:21:010:21:05

That's the holiday fund out the window for starters!

0:21:050:21:09

Don't worry about it! When you've got a great team,

0:21:090:21:12

you can do anything!

0:21:120:21:15

SHE WHISPERS

0:21:150:21:17

-That's a deadly idea! Right, I'll be back in a minute.

-Yeah.

0:21:170:21:23

Erm...

0:21:290:21:31

-All right, lads?

-Yeah, Roy.

-All right, Roy?

0:21:310:21:36

-So, how's tricks? The hutch is looking cool.

-Yeah, yeah.

-Cheers.

0:21:380:21:43

Jaws is going to have a hard time getting out of that one, eh?!

0:21:440:21:47

HE LAUGHS

0:21:470:21:49

Yeah, that's the idea.

0:21:490:21:51

DOG BARKS

0:21:510:21:53

Can we hurry up, lads? We're on a schedule here.

0:21:530:21:57

-ALL TOGETHER: We need your help.

-THEY LAUGH

0:21:580:22:01

TOGETHER: Snap!

0:22:010:22:03

That's more like it. Now, come on! Let's get to work!

0:22:030:22:07

-What if she comes back early?! I'm too young to die!

-Stop it!

0:22:080:22:11

-Any chance of a cup of tea, love?

-I don't think so, love!

0:22:110:22:15

-Could you make an effort, please? OK, there, Roy?

-Yeah, yeah.

0:22:150:22:19

-Do you want a hand with that, Ma?

-No, you're fine, love.

-Sure?

-Yeah.

0:22:280:22:32

-Da, what about you?

-I'm grand.

-Everybody else coping?

0:22:320:22:38

That's grand. Do you want a hand with what you're doing? No?

0:22:390:22:43

-Move that one.

-Come on, everybody! Chop chop!

0:22:430:22:47

She's due back in 14 minutes.

0:22:470:22:49

Dad! Watch the picture!

0:22:530:22:55

-All right there, fellas?

-Yeah.

-Great! Go, Team O'Brien, go!

0:22:580:23:03

Come on, everybody!

0:23:050:23:07

I see her! She's coming up the road.

0:23:080:23:11

She's coming up the road! What'll we do?!

0:23:110:23:14

-Here, quick, get out there and use your charm. Pronto!

-I'm on it.

0:23:140:23:17

Nobody can talk rubbish to old ladies like your da.

0:23:170:23:20

It's a skill he developed over many years driving a cab!

0:23:200:23:23

-Tell me about it!

-Now!

0:23:230:23:26

-I think we're good to go.

-What about all the gear?!

0:23:260:23:29

Roy, it's up to you now. Use the back door.

0:23:290:23:33

Hang on a second, everybody.

0:23:330:23:35

-How did he do that?!

-Simple! He's Roy!

-He most certainly is.

0:23:430:23:49

You just hang on there one more second, now, gorgeous.

0:23:490:23:52

We don't want to spoil the... We don't want to spoil the surprise!

0:23:520:23:56

Come on in!

0:23:560:23:58

-Whatever you do, don't look her in the eyes!

-Relax, Becky!

-Here you are.

0:23:580:24:04

-Come on.

-Here it comes!

0:24:040:24:06

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:24:060:24:11

I love it!

0:24:170:24:19

-You do?

-Of course she does! And there's my right-hand man.

0:24:220:24:26

-That right, Roy?

-Yeah.

-There's just one thing.

0:24:260:24:30

-What's that, love?

-Why is my doggy blue?

0:24:300:24:34

DOG BARKS

0:24:340:24:36

-Maura, do you want to...?

-HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:24:380:24:42

We got away with it. I don't know how. But we did.

0:24:440:24:48

-Sorry to interrupt, Becky, pet. Sorry!

-That's OK.

0:24:500:24:54

I gave the little ones a bag of sweeties to share.

0:24:540:24:57

-And here's something special for you!

-Thanks a million.

0:24:570:25:02

-You're welcome! You're a great girl, all the same!

-I try my best.

0:25:020:25:07

Maybe bring my doggie for a walk. My little blue doggie! He loves you!

0:25:080:25:12

Now, that's great. You'll have a wonderful time.

0:25:140:25:18

She's a monster!

0:25:210:25:24

'Roy, Jack and Tommy still have a project to finish.'

0:25:240:25:28

-Check it out!

-Cool.

0:25:280:25:32

-So, what do you think, lads?!

-THEY LAUGH

0:25:370:25:42

Me dad says there's no I in the word team.

0:25:420:25:44

I used to think he was giving me a spelling test! But I understand now.

0:25:440:25:49

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

0:25:510:25:52

'It's Monday morning, and time for the different groups

0:25:520:25:55

'to present their finished World of Work project.'

0:25:550:25:59

Well, I have to say,

0:25:590:26:01

you've all done an AMAZING job on your World of Work projects!

0:26:010:26:07

I'd personally like to thank the other members of my group.

0:26:070:26:10

I couldn't have done it without them. Talk about dream team!

0:26:100:26:13

Talk about nightmare! You can read about Cathy's tantrums

0:26:130:26:17

-on the website!

-What tantrums?!

0:26:170:26:20

I learned do-it-yourself doesn't mean do it BY yourself,

0:26:200:26:23

and that it's very hard to remove blue paint from dog hair!

0:26:230:26:27

Ladies and gentlemen, we now give you, Jaws' new gaff!

0:26:270:26:32

-Do you think he likes it?

-Definitely!

0:26:340:26:38

Sure, look at him. He's smiling!

0:26:380:26:41

You know, I wasn't at all surprised when Maura and Becky

0:26:450:26:49

mentioned that they'd been fixing all my DIY jobs on the sly.

0:26:490:26:55

Mostly, because, well, between you and me,

0:26:550:26:59

I actually haven't got a clue what I'm doing!

0:26:590:27:03

-All right, Gaffer?

-Yeah, grand. Yeah. (Not a clue.)

0:27:030:27:08

I still haven't figured out what I want to be when I grow up!

0:27:150:27:18

But, sure there's plenty of time.

0:27:180:27:21

I'm definitely going to keep up the old DIY!

0:27:210:27:24

It comes in very handy any time I wreck me bed!

0:27:240:27:26

MATTRESS CREAKS

0:27:260:27:28

Don't tell Becky - I'm going to give her room

0:27:280:27:31

a total makeover for her birthday. She's going to be so surprised!

0:27:310:27:36

BED CRASHES

0:27:400:27:42

-Roy!

-It's all right, Ma! I'm on it!

0:27:420:27:46

LAUGHTER

0:27:580:28:00

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd.

0:28:000:28:03

-Stop laughing!

-LAUGHTER

0:28:060:28:08

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