Invisible Roy ROY

'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

'He lives in an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.

'the only trouble is, he doesn't LOOK very ordinary.

'All Roy really wants is to fit in.

'But it's very hard to stay out of trouble

'when you're a cartoon!'

Ro-o-oy!

Ro-o-oy!

Roy!

ROY!

He-he!

'It's another busy day at Ballyfermot School

'and all is well with Roy and his mates - or so it seems.'

-Hey Jack! Jack!

-Roy! Head's up!

Hey! My frisbee!

Hey Jack, check it out, big finish.

-HE BELCHES

-Eww!

Aww, Sick!

Get away from me. You can keep it!

That cool or what, huh? Jack? Where's he gone? Jack?

He looks pretty angry.

No, he doesn't. He looks VERY angry.

Something's up.

Definitely. Go on, Roy.

Me? Why me?

Because he'll listen to you.

Jack?

Did Roy put you up to this?

Can I go now?

I've never seen Jack like this before.

It's like he's a different person.

Yeah, he totally blanked me in class earlier.

I asked him if he was excited about the County Football Trials.

He said he had other stuff to do.

Other stuff? He's been talking about those trials for months.

He's the best footballer in school! He wouldn't miss it for anything!

Maybe he's just nervous?

It's Jack. He doesn't get nervous about anything.

There's something going on here. Something serious.

And we're going to get to the bottom of it.

Well, Roy, you're going to get to the bottom of it.

-But I already tried?

-Well, you're going to try harder.

I am?

I am!

Deadly! Yeah.

How will I do that?

Right!

-Who did that?

-Here, gimme me ball, will ye?

-You did that on purpose.

-No I didn't.

-I'm having this. It's confiscated.

-What? Why?

Finders keepers! Losers weepers!

And don't be so cheeky in future.

Yeah, whatever. Keep it! I don't care.

-Jack?

-Look, leave me alone, all right?

Let me guess. You've had an idea?

Yeah. How did you tell?

You can come out now, Roy. I know you're there.

-IN POOR ATTEMPT AT DISGUISING HIS OWN VOICE:

-Who's Roy?

-What are you doing here?

-Yeah, I was going to ask you that.

I, er... I like the bins, you see?

Yes, stop following me, OK?

I thought we could just hang out, you know.

Just... Another time.

Go home. Please.

Jack!

I'll see you later at my gaff, yeah?

Just to go over that history project?

Tommy's coming over too.

He might still show.

Still going straight to voicemail. It must be switched off.

He was supposed to be here hours ago.

What did you say to him earlier?

Nothing! I swear! He just looked straight through me.

Just try to be a bit less conspicuous next time, will you?

Tommy. Tommy, look!

Give it a rest, Roy, I'm trying to st...

What did you do?

I... I was only... I was only messing about.

I didn't think it would actually work.

Cool! Try another one.

You sure?

Not really. But go on.

Mad. Keep going.

Amazing. It's still completely solid.

Boys! Your dinner's on the table. >

It's your favourite - fish and chips.

Oh, no! What am I going to do? They can't see me like this!

I don't know. Didn't really think about that.

Wait a second - what if it doesn't come back?

Hang on - I've got an idea.

ROY! Get down here now!

-What is he doing up there anyway?

-Dunno.

-Beats me.

Fish and chip eating competition! Come on!

All right, Mrs O'Brien? All right, Mr O'Brien? All right, Becky?

THE BOYS WOLF DOWN THEIR FOOD

Disgusting. They're like two little animals.

Lads, lads, lads, will you hold your horses.

-You'll make yourselves sick.

-Take it easy. There's plenty for everyone.

But, Mum, it's a competition.

Roy said that he could eat more fish and chips than me

with one hand behind his back.

-I'm finished! A new record!

-You win. This time.

Cheers, Dad! Cheers, Ma! See ya, Becks!

Just going up to study!

He loves studying. We love studying. Thanks! Lovely stuff!

Anyone fancy that last battered sausage?

-No, that's all yours, love.

-Brilliant. Oh, look at this!

-Oh.

-Lovely.

-Aw.

Any joy?

No. No cures for invisibility.

Just lots of clips from old horror movies.

From what I can see, The Invisible Man always goes mad

and strangles lots of people. How do you feel?

Ask me that question again and I'll strangle you.

I'm only joking.

-But have you got anything I can try?

-What can I say? You're unique.

-A medical phenomenon.

-Wait a second. Look!

What a relief! I was freaking out there for a second.

Excellent stuff.

And by my calculations,

your hand was invisible for exactly...one hour.

Which suits my plans perfectly.

What plans?

Oh, yeah, sorry.

You're going to follow Jack again, tomorrow.

This time on his way to school.

Yeah, but I told ye, he SAW me.

But he won't see you this time?

Aw, yeah, I get you now.

Now I'm going to go home.

You're going to give these amazing powers of yours another spin.

If you can fool your family, you can fool anyone.

Ri-i-ight, yeah. I know exactly where to start.

Here we go.

Deadly!

She said what? I swear, that Aoife is such a liar.

KNOCK ON DOOR Hang on a second.

Annoying brother alert. I know, I know.

Yeah, yeah. Real funny, Roy. How old are you, anyhow?

What a loser. Seriously.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hello?

No, not you, Laura.

I swear,

that's the last time I'll have two bowls of ice-cream before bedtime.

ROY GIGGLES

OK, see you later, Laura.

I swear, that's the last time I do a triple-shift driving that taxi.

-Now, your beverage, as requested, Madam.

-Shh!

What did I miss?

Yer man's in the same room as them spying on them both...

-CRISPS BEING CRUNCHED ..and they don't even know it. Shh! Not a word.

-Yes, boss.

You said you weren't hungry.

-I thought you would have at least left me a few crisps.

-Shh!

CRISPS BEING CRUNCHED

Jack! Watch out for those bins!

Roy!

-Huh? What? How did you...?!

-What are you doing up?

I was, er, I was going to grab a glass of water.

You'll use any excuse to stay up late. Now disappear, pronto!

What she said.

Yeah, you won't see me again. Night!

ROY GIGGLES

-So how did it go?

-They didn't suspect a thing.

Becky was up all night on gnome alert.

Classic. Now, are you sure you know what you're doing?

Relax, relax, I have it all under control.

The minute Jack steps out his front door,

I'll be watching from behind the tree across the road.

He won't see me.

Of course he won't be able t. see you - you'll be invisible!

-Oh, yeah.

-Just stay out of trouble.

And under no circumstances let him know you're there. Understood?

Understood. Roy out.

DOG BARKS

-ROY WHISPERS:

-Oi! Shoo! Go away.

Oof!

Hey, Jack, slow down for a second, there.

-Did you forget us?

-Cos we didn't forget about you.

What's wrong, Jack? You're a bit quiet this morning.

Someone giving you a hard time?

I hope not. Cos, that's our job. Now, lunch money. Hand it over.

Do you think our little Polish friend

-has a problem understanding English?

-I dunno.

Maybe he'd be better off going back to his own country.

I'm going to ask you nicely, one more time. Hand it over. Now.

-Or you're going to...

-What the...?!

-Jack! Quick! Sketch!

-Roy? Is that you?

-Listen, I'll explain later. Now, hurry!

Run all you like!

We'll be right here, after school. And you better have our money!

So I had this big jumbo eraser and hey presto - Invisible Roy!

Wait. I can see your head.

Huh?! Tommy said it's supposed to last for an hour.

How are you, Missus? Hey, nice dog.

Come on! Hurry.

Me and Jack were out of there like lightning. Right, Jack?

What a team!

-Weren't you frightened, Jack?

-It's not a big deal.

Not a big deal? This is the Malones we're talking about.

They live right beside the park.

I remember them from when I was little.

Look, what's the big fuss about the Malones anyhow?

What's the big fuss about the Malones? They're legendary?

They got kicked out of school

for bursting the tyres on their headmaster's car.

They'd already been suspended for setting off fireworks in the gym.

They're loco, bananas. No-one's ever stood up to them before.

They're going to want payback. Big time.

I can handle it.

You don't have to handle it on your own, Jack.

Look, it's my problem and I'll take care of it.

I don't need all of you fighting my battles for me.

Brilliant(!) Now what are going to do?

Well, for starters, I'm going to go cheer Jack up.

Hey! Oi! Hey, mind the floor! Mind the floor!

-Watch where you're going, Gwint!

-The mop, the, the mop!

-What about the mop?

-Th... The mop!

That's right, Gwint - the mop.

It isn't going to wash the floor by itself now, is it?

So get moving.

Pronto! That's French for quick.

Ah, now...

-Stay.

-Mr Gwint, I'm so hungry.

Buzz off!

I beg your pardon.

No, not you. That.

-But, bu...

-Ri-i-ight.

Ah, Mummy!

THEY LAUGH

I'm sorry.

THEY LAUGH

Acting strange, really? Well, Dennis - Er, Mr Gwint -

has been under a lot of pressure recently.

Dealing with schoolchildren on a daily basis

is a very stressful matter, let me tell you.

I've seen bigger men than Mr Gwint crumble under the constant grind.

It takes character, a steely nature to survive in this jungle,

true leadership.

And at a critical time like this,

as the captain at the helm to steady the ship in stormy waters,

as headmaster at Ballfermot school,

one has to take the big decisions.

So, I think Mr Gwint...

..should take the rest of the day off school.

What's going on? Excuse me, excuse me.

Mr Gwint, what are you doing? What are you doing?

Mr Gwint, perhaps you should take tomorrow off.

-You've been working very hard.

-Finders are not keepers.

Ri-i-ight.

HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF: Finders are not keepers?!

By my current calculations,

you're staying invisible for a shorter periods each time.

Soon enough, that eraser will have no effect at all.

Who cares? Look at all this cool stuff I got anyway.

Sure Jack's in flying form, huh?

All right, lads? Fancy a bit of a kickabout later? Come on, Al.

You may have cheered Jack up for now

but there's still the Malones to deal with.

And the clock's ticking.

I'm telling you, this place... there's something weird going on.

I've seen things.

Things...moving.

On their own.

I've even locked all the doors.

Closed all the windows. I've even taken the heads off the mops.

But they're still moving around.

STRANGE CLANGING What was that?!

You do believe me, don't you?

Here, have another sandwich.

So, er, when did the Malones start giving you grief?

It only started last week.

They stopped me on the way to school, and said

if I didn't give them my lunch money, they were going to get me.

Why didn't you say anything?

I've been absolutely starving ever since. Cheers for the sandwich.

Don't worry about the sandwich.

And stop being all Jack for a minute.

-You should have told us about it.

-It's bad enough they're on my back,

without you guys getting hassled too. You don't know what it's like.

I know what it's like.

I know what it's like when people are just mean,

just cos you're not like them.

-We have to look out for each other.

-I dunno.

I suppose I thought they'd get bored

but they just kept coming back.

Yeah, well, now it's time for the Malones to go away for good.

But how? You heard them, Roy.

-They'll be waiting for me and they mean business.

-So do I.

This isn't your fight, Roy.

It is now. One for all, and all that stuff.

We're like them musketeers. Except with a girl.

I dunno.

Why? Are you afraid?

Cos the Malones are the ones who should be afraid.

Nobody, and I mean nobody, messes with Roy O'Brien's best mate Jack.

-What are you going to do?

-I... I don't know yet.

But, er, I'll come up with a deadly plan.

Here, have another sandwich.

It's got egg on it.

Wait. Who's the apple again?

-The apple, Tommy, is the Malones.

-The apple is both of the Malones?

Yes, the apple is both of the Malones, Tommy.

-I just have one apple, OK?

-Concentrate, guys.

-Sorry.

-OK, so you distract them here, here and here.

In the meantime, invisible me sneaks around the back here

and you give the signal and I pounce!

Wait a minute. That's you're plan? You're going to pounce on them?

-Mmm-hmm.

-Aren't they, like, giants?

Big and stupid.

Exactly, Sinead - which is where these babies come in.

And what if that doesn't work?

Of course it'll work, Tommy - it's completely foolproof.

-What's in the folder?

-Oh...nothing.

Look, just give me the signal

and the Malones won't know what hit them.

That's the signal, by the way.

-What? This?

-No, no. That's more of a scratch.

-You have to do it like a rub, you know.

-Oh, like that.

Bit slower. That's the one.

So we all clear, yeah?

-ALL: Yeah.

-Good.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

Right. You lads get cracking. I'll be right behind yous.

Tommy, have got the camera?

Ready, charged up and all good to go.

Great, and make sure that you film absolutely everything.

And, Roy, don't forget - whatever happens, stay quiet.

They can't know you're there. Not a word.

Conserve whatever invisible energy you've got left.

Save it for the Malones.

Don't worry. Sure, who's idea was it in the first place, huh?

Good luck, man.

Cheers.

I'm very proud of you, Roy.

You are?

Yeah, well... You know... It's...

Jack and...

Right, go on. Hurry!

TAPPING ON WINDOW

Help, help, I'm locked in! Gwint locked me in!

He didn't see me. Let me out! Come on!

Help!

OK, Tommy here.

If we're already dead by the time you watch this,

I'd like to say it was Roy's idea, Mum. So blame him.

Hey, Roy's doing a great job of keeping quiet. He means business.

Hey, Jack.

You brought your little friends. Cute.

I hope everyone has some lunch money left over.

-We'll be having that camera too.

-No, you won't.

You're not getting anything off us.

THE MALONES LAUGH

Funny. Now hand over the dosh.

Or I'll make you look silly in front of your little girlfriend.

Look, you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.

Did you hear me? I said ALL of us.

-I heard you.

-Everyone heard you.

Have yous all got nits or something?

Enough messing. Pay up. Or else!

Er... sorry to interrupt

but were yous two the same Malone brothers

that used to go to Mrs Magee's Irish dance classes when I was little?

I have pictures here. Take a look. Me mam loves to take pictures.

I also have an article from the Ballyfermot Gazette,

congratulating yous on your success from your science competition.

She keeps all the papers too.

And, best of all, I've got these pictures

from when yous both came joint second

in Little Mr Ballyfermot competition.

So adorable.

So cute.

It's amazing, really, how pictures like them

can end on the Internet in less than no time, for everyone to see.

And I mean absolutely everyone.

Here, keep these. A present.

I've got copies.

You see, you guys act all tough and stuff but, do you know what?

You're just like us.

And guess what? I'm not afraid of you anymore. So go on.

Take a hike.

Yeah, well...

..we'll let it go this time, yeah?

-We will but...

-Leave it.

What just happened there?

But why didn't you tell us about the folder, Sinead?

A little insurance. Just in case of emergencies.

Sorry I'm late, lads. Any sign of them?

I, I, I got locked in the classroom and then I ran here...

I'm visible and... Is that the Malones?

Don't worry, Roy. It's all taken care of.

Yeah, I'm sorry I couldn't be here, Jack.

You were there, all right, Roy. There every step of the way.

Well, me invisible powers are totally gone. Look.

I'm a bit disappointed I didn't get a chance

to play a few more tricks on Becks but it was fun while it lasted.

Anyhow, when it comes to dealing with bullies,

it's much more important to be visible

so your mates know you're there for them.

-So, how did the County Trials go?

-Brilliantly. Of course.

-And...?

-You're looking at their new striker.

Aw, deadly! Right, Tommy, on the wing.

Oi!

Come here.

I'm sorry.

There you go. No harm done.

Cheers.

-Careful as you go, eh?

-Sure thing. Thanks.

You're welcome. Good lads.

Be careful of the bins They're alive.

THEY CHUCKLE TO THEMSELVES

Ah, now...

Mr Gwint, I'm so hungry.

Ah, Mummy!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd