Spot On ROY

'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

'He lives in an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.

'The only trouble is, he doesn't look very ordinary.

'All Roy really wants is to fit in.

'But it's very hard to stay out of trouble when you're a cartoon.'

ROY!

ROY!

ROY!

ALL: ROY!

'It's Monday, and Roy O'Brien is feeling left out.'

I can't believe it. I woke up this morning, and look.

Another one!

-I've used every face wash on TV. I STILL get them!

-I hate spots.

I'd do anything to have a spot like that!

You're nuts! Take this one, please!

It's all right for you. You just get spots, like that.

I've never even had one!

That's a good thing, Roy.

Everyone in school would do ANYTHING to have your problem.

See, exactly. Everyone.

Everyone but me.

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

I see idiot hour has started early.

That's what you get for staring at my spot.

Knock it off. You're drawing attention to it!

OK, class. Guess what?

The star of the show, Art Short himself,

is coming here to film a new episode.

ALL: Wow!

Will we be on telly, Miss?

You may well be.

He's going to do a special art class with us,

and you may even get asked a question.

THEY GASP

So, instead of homework, for the next few weeks

I want you all to work on a painting

for the Art's Cool show.

The theme is, 'My Life'.

'My Life'? That'll suit you, Roy. You can draw a rubbish cartoon,

just like your rubbish life.

It'll take a wide-angled lens for your big fat head.

OK! Geography. Open up your books on page 45.

We're going to be doing rivers today.

DREAMY MUSIC

Roy?

Roy?

Roy?

Roy?!

Really, Roy!

Everybody knows I'm the best artist in the school.

I'm SO going to be interviewed by Art's Cool.

They'll probably want to do a special on me.

'Worried that he's being left behind, Roy seeks advice

'from his mother.'

I'll be home later, love, OK?

Yeah.

See you.

Bye.

Ah, Roy. What's the story?

How are you doing, Dr Raschid?

Come here. Listen.

What do you know about spots?

Spots, eh? A perfectly natural part of growing up.

It's all about hormones, you see. Best way to AVOID getting...

No, no, no, no, no!

See, I actually want to know how to get one.

I'm the only one in class who hasn't got a spot.

I need to get one quickly, or else I'll be left behind.

I'm afraid I only advise people how NOT to get them,

by eating fresh vegetables,

washing frequently with hot, soapy water,

avoiding chocolates, greasy foods, fizzy, sugary drinks.

PING!

Roy?

I'm trying to get a spot, Ma!

I'll have to eat a lot of junk food.

-Bill.

-No, it's chickens.

I think Roy's trying to get a spot so he can fit in with the others.

Wait a minute, wait.

He's actually TRYING to get a spot?

Yeah. He's worried about getting left behind,

-not growing up like the rest of his mates.

-Not growing up?

It's not from the lack of food, anyway.

He eats about 20 packets of sausages every week.

I told him some kids just take a little longer to grow,

and it didn't matter if he'd a spot

it's what's inside that counts.

Sausages?

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

'It's been five days, and Roy STILL hasn't washed.'

What are we going to do about Roy? It's REALLY bad.

He won't even go in the rain, in case he gets accidentally clean.

How do you tell your best mate he stinks and needs a shower?

Maybe he's showered now. We won't have to say anything.

I wouldn't bet on it!

HE RETCHES

Sorry about the smell.

I just had a word with young Roy O'Brien...

about personal hygiene.

Oh! I can still smell it off...

I'm never going to get a spot. I give up.

WATER POURS

Oh!

Ah!

-Oh!

-WATER POURS

Mum?! Would you cook us a few veggies for dinner, please?

Yes! Ha-ha!

Can't believe it.

I'm a total spot failure.

What if I never get one?

What if they all grow up, and I never do?

They'll all go off and do brilliant things, and I'll be stuck here.

My Life, huh?

Wakey wakey! Get me some sausages, will you?

Huh?

HE YAWNS

That must be killing you, Roy, is it?

Gross!

That is a real beauty, son!

Yeah! Thanks, Dad!

No way are you my brother. I've never had a spot in my life.

You probably couldn't tell, under all that make up!

Hey, Ma. Look!

Ooh, Roy! Your dad can give you advice on how to get rid of that.

You're mad! No way. I love it!

Your ma's right.

When I was a teenager I had a bit of a spot problem.

Mind you, your ma was still mad about me.

Well, there goes my appetite for a year.

Thanks a million(!)

-Check it out!

-Oh!

Like it? Get your manky spot out of my face!

You're just jealous of how awesome it is!

THEY SCREAM

It's very, erm, red.

Thanks, I know!

Nice work, Roy!

THEY LAUGH

OK, class. Settle down.

We've a lot to get through today.

PARP!

THEY LAUGH

Don't worry, Miss. Happens to the best of us.

Roy! I don't have time for your messing today.

Miss, it wasn't me!

I thought it was you. I mean..

This is your first and last warning, Roy.

Come and sit up here, where I can keep an eye on you!

OK.

Ancient Greece had some magnificent stories.

-Today, we're going to take a look at how...

-VOICE: Boring!

Roy O'Brien! I warned you!

Miss, it wasn't me!

Roy, there's no one else sitting there.

Right. You find the class boring?

Let's see if you find...

collecting rubbish in the yard more interesting.

Go!

Oh, yeah!

As usual.

Roy gets the blame for everything.

Yeah! That Sheringham one is a right pain.

Here, do you know what would cheer you up?

-A nice burger, with extra mayo and chips.

-Huh?

Ah!

Whoa!

Ah, now, here, I'm only messing.

Seriously, how about a burger?

-I feel the need for GREASE!

-Oh!

Seriously, lads. It spoke to me.

Right, your spot spoke to you(!)

What did your talking spot say(?)

It asked for a burger and chips.

THEY LAUGH

You crack me up!

Hey!

Is that you, Roy?

I didn't recognise you with that big, red volcano on your forehead.

So, how's your cartoon going?

It's not a cartoon this time, actually.

I reckon I've as much chance of getting my art on there as you!

Ha! Sure(!) You haven't got an original bone in your body.

Stupid, childish cartoons

is all you'll ever do.

Aw, are you lost?

Someone leave the monkey cage open at the zoo?

What is THAT?

So, let me guess. Orang-utan?

What? Hey, I...

Want a banana?

No! Wait!

Busy day trying throwing your poo at the visitors?

-Who!

-Duck!

Roy's spot was insulting me. Called me a poo-throwing orang-utan!

Catherine Cunningham.

My office.

NOW!

-Nice one, spot!

-Ha-ha-ha-ha!

He-he!

Go on, say something again!

Sausages!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Stop!

I heard Pizza Shack were going to use your face for their next advert.

Ah, Becks.

You're just jealous.

But don't worry. Someday, you'll get one, too.

Dream on, loser. I've got flawless skin.

You mean boring skin! Just like yourself, huh? BORING!

MUM: Just ignore it, Becks. And lay off, Roy!

It's not my fault Idiot Boy has a manky, talking spot!

MUM: Keep talking like that, and you'll be at home on Friday night,

instead of that party.

Anyway, beauty's only skin deep.

It's what's inside a person that counts. Inner beauty.

SPOT: You must be a really beautiful person on the inside, Mrs.

With all your wrinkles on the outside!

Ha-ha-ha!

MUM: Do I have wrinkles?

Yeah, you do. You've a few.

I think they make you look very distinguished, very classy.

-Dad!

-I think they make...

-Dad, stop talking NOW!

-OK.

You said it yourself, Maura. Beauty's only skin deep.

It's what's on the inside that counts.

(Exactly).

Ha-ha!

'All is not well with Roy's friends. They are finding his spot obnoxious.

'They have a plan.'

I say we get rid of it whether Roy likes it or not.

-Hasta la vista, Spotty!

-Lads, we can't do this to Roy.

Just let me talk to him first.

'Meanwhile, Roy is having a hard time controlling its outbursts.'

-Right, sport. Be nice today, remember.

-Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Nice as pie.

Nice one, baldy. You missed a spot! Well done, you dolt, ye!

What did you say, you little pus-filled brat?

-Ah, here - say it, don't spray it!

-I'm sorry, he's just...

-He's dead!

That's what he is. I'm going to squeeze the life out of him.

-Argh!

-Is that a snack for you, is it? Now really,

I think it's great

that a woman like you doesn't care what she looks like.

Or about learning how to cook. Nice one, sister!

After all the extra chips I gave you - sorry about this, Roy -

here's a little present for you. You traitorous little...!

Well, look who it is.

Miss Prissy-pants, Spanner Head, Bulldog's Bum

and his sidekick, Nerd Boy. Do we have to sit

-with this pack of losers?

-Just shut it. I'm sorry about that, lads.

He's just a bit cranky in the mornings.

What? You're seriously worried about this lot?

Look, what did we talk about?

I'm just going to go sit in the corner till he calms down a bit.

SPOT SNORES LOUDLY

-You sent for me, Sir?

-Why are you whispering, Roy?

-It's the spot, sir. It's snoozing.

-Right.

-The thing is, Roy, you're looking a bit ill.

-I feel great, sir.

-Well, maybe, you should take a few days off school?

-Yes!

I mean - COUGHS - I think you're right, sir.

Good.

-I'll just write a note to your mother.

-Wait!

That means I miss Art's Cool and he won't see my brilliant painting.

Look, I'll be straight with you, Roy, I've had nothing but complaints

from students and staff alike

about your spot's blatant anti-social behaviour.

Unless it's gone by the time they arrive to film the show,

you're going to end up in the gym tidying equipment until they leave.

That's unfair, Sir. Lots of people have spots and are allowed.

Yes, but theirs don't go shouting insults every opportunity they get.

Now, look, I'll not have that spot making a mockery of the school.

This is my...

This is the school's opportunity to shine.

Oh look, it's baldy. How are you, Baldy?

It's your choice, Roy.

HE SIGHS

HE WHISTLES

-Lads, what are youse doing?

-Time for your spot to have a little shower.

-Lads, come on, what's going on?

-Anti-spot wash.

-It's for your own good, Roy.

-Please, youse can't kill the spot.

He's sorry for all his messing! He was only joking! Honestly.

Look at these fools. Don't worry about them, Roy.

So thick they probably have the guns pointed backwards.

Uh-oh. No! No, no!

-Where did he go?

-I think he went that way. Come on!

I can't believe he got away.

It's not our fault if he can't see the damage that thing's doing.

-I'm done hanging out with him until that thing is gone.

-Yeah, me too.

Come on.

Ha-ha, man, that was hilarious! Idiots.

-Why don't you just shut up and be nice?

-Nice guys finish last.

I think I'd rather be last.

-Right, I'm proper fed up with you. Hi, Sinead.

-Hiya.

-Did you have an accident?

-Extreme skateboarding.

-Tried jumping a rubbish bin.

-Right, hey, Roy, you know we're mates, yeah?

Yeah.

We're worried about you and this spot being a bad influence.

SPOT WOLF-WHISTLES AND BLOWS KISSES Hey, I'm not talking to you.

-I'm talking to Roy. Can you just shut it?

-Ah, go on. Give us a kiss.

-Hey!

Roy, your spot is rude and disgusting and you're losing friends

every time it opens its mouth.

-Please, Roy, just get rid of it.

-Ah, go on, a big sloppy kiss. Mwah!

Just shut it. For the last time, just shut up.

Ah, you're just stuck up, just like your girlfriend.

Shut up, she's not my girlfriend!

Go on then, dopey. Hit me! Go on, I dare you!

DAD CLEARS THROAT

My old jeans still fit me. Haven't lost it.

-Must have shrunk a bit in the wash.

-Just a bit, love.

You freaks!

-How's Roy doing?

-I don't know. That spot's a bit obnoxious.

I don't know if he can handle it.

At least he's not worried about getting left behind anymore.

He may get left behind if his friends get sick of that spot.

-I'm going to nip up and change.

-Don't hurt yourself, love.

-Want a hand there?

-I can make it.

Poor Roykins is upset.

I can't believe I put up with you for so long.

You're insulting everyone I know! I even defended you!

Do your best, slick.

Whoa-ho-ho!

SPOT LAUGHS EVILLY

You dolt, ye.

-Whoa, easy now, kiddo.

-Forget it.

You're out of here.

SPOT SOBS Wait!

At least use that one over there. Most Moist.

It will be quicker, less pain. Well, goodbye, Roy.

We could have been something, you know.

-LAUGHTER

-You dolt, ye.

Thanks for the moisturiser cream, Roy. Ah, it was delicious!

Couldn't sleep though.

I was having too much fun listening to you talking in your sleep.

-I don't talk in my sleep!

-Oh, but you do, Roy. Such juicy secrets.

I think you'll do everything I say from now on

or I'll tell everyone exactly what you're thinking.

-We'll have a big greasy fry-up, thanks.

-How about porridge?

How about I just tell Maura it was you who broke her favourite vase

and not the neighbour's cat?

Ma, can I have a fry, please?

Um, OK, but this is the last one for the week.

-What do you want for your lunch, love?

-Crisps and chocolate.

No salad or else Bill finds out you deleted his World Cup matches.

-Crisps and chocolate, please, Ma.

-Roy, not again. More rubbish.

-I thought you were past all that.

-Just this once, please.

How much did I say in my sleep?

Hey Ma, did you do something with your hair? It looks lovely.

-It makes you look 22.

-Thanks, love.

It must be the new shampoo and conditioner.

Wow! Look at all those new grey hairs!

Get that spot out of here now, Roy!

I'm really sorry about this, Ma.

-Could you pass us that paper bag, please?

-Go, now!

SCHOOLBELL RINGS

Roy, take off that paper mask, please. No messing today.

What are all youse ugly mugs looking at?

Actually, you can keep it on if it keeps that horrible thing quiet.

Mmm, sausages... greasy...

Psst.

Roy, give me some fast food, ugly mug, or else

Miss Boring-Pants Sheringham will find out

you think she has nice hair.

Right, fine, OK, you win. I'll do whatever you want.

Grease!

Can I have greasy chips and gravy,

four cheeseburgers, extra oily, and could you hold the bun, please?

Aah! Oily deliciousness.

SPOT BURPS LOUDLY

This better work, Tommy.

You should see the new boots I got for the party.

I can't wait. He's so hot. OK. Laters.

MUSIC PLAYING THROUGH HEADPHONES

Oh, oh, oh! Yeah!

I give up. It's a cartoon.

Who knows, maybe Art actually likes cartoons.

It's missing something.

Here we are. Much better.

Here, give it a break on the junk food for a bit, well you?

-I'm stuffed!

-I thought you were a real spot.

A real spot would let me eat this.

-Wow! What is that?

-The king of all burgers.

The mega-deluxe, multi-decker hunger-wrecker.

Six patties, ten slices of bacon, 12 slices of cheese.

Still, it's probably too much for such a wee spot like you.

-I mean, you're more of a pimple, really.

-Oh, yeah? Watch this, then.

Eat it. Eat it!

Whooaaahhh!

My brilliant painting! I'm free. I'm free! Yes!

-It's gone.

-Roy, that's brilliant. I'm delighted for you.

-Thanks, Ma.

I never, ever want a spot again. I'm completely finished with them.

Will you have a few sausages, so?

It's porridge, fruit and juice for me, please.

And for dinner, can I have some of Becky's rabbity,

salady food thing, you know?

-It's a new Roy.

-Sure is, Dad.

Beautiful on the inside and the outside.

Ma. Spots! Party!

Becks, they're huge! You could go skiing on them. Look at them!

Here we go. Cameras ready and we are set, and action.

So many wonderful paintings.

And such talented students.

All very special.

But there was one that really caught my eye.

This unique abstract expression.

-It's truly remarkable from this young man.

-Roy o'Brien.

Roy goes beyond mere representation to explore

the theme of 'my life.'

A truly unique painting.

Thanks, Art. My da, he thinks you're brilliant.

My Ma said you're dashing. I think that means you're good at running.

Well, tell me, Roy,

and I'm sure the viewers would be fascinated to know,

what you learned about yourself while creating this painting?

Well, I suppose I learned that I am who I am

and it doesn't matter what I look like and not too much growing up.

Listen to my friends and, most importantly,

too much of a good thing can make you explode.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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