And the Winner Is ROY


And the Winner Is

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Transcript


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'This is the story of Roy O'Brien.

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'He lives in an ordinary house, on an ordinary street.

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'the only trouble is, he doesn't LOOK very ordinary.

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'All Roy really wants is to fit in.

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'But it's very hard to stay out of trouble

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'when you're a cartoon!'

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Ro-o-oy!

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Ro-o-oy!

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Roy!

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ALL: ROY!

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He-he!

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'It's early morning in Sandyford Progressive Learning.

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'Roy and his chums have gathered in the school canteen

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'for a "surprise" announcement.'

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Hey, guys. What's all this about?

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Wah!

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CRASHING

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-We thought we'd send you for a trip.

-Classic.

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You're not funny, Deco.

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Now are you sure about that? Because I think I'm hilarious.

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Good morning, children.

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-ALL:

-Morning, Mr Lucey.

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You all right, Roy?

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Yeah. Couldn't be better.

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Oh, I think you'll find that's not entirely accurate.

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THEY GASP

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'Hello, Sandyford. And hello, Roy O'Brien.'

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-You?

-Me?

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'Well, a few weeks ago,

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'I was asked to judge a national poetry competition.

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'And after reading more than 5,000 entries,

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'Roy...

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'I am delighted to announce that you

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'are the grand prize winner.'

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When did you enter a poetry competition?

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-I didn't.

-Ssh!

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-Zach is speaking.

-'Your beautiful sonnet,

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'Jellybean Love Song, entered by your wonderful principal,

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'Miss Jervis, it blew me away.'

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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'"Whenever I'm feeling blue,

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'"you hug the inside of my mouth...

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'"..with all the flavours of the rainbow."

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'Wow!

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'Still takes my breath away.

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'Anyway, Roy, you're probably wondering what you've won.'

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Yeah, tell us!

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-Interrupt him one more time.

-'Seeing as I'm back home in Ireland...'

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-ZACH CONTINUES TO TALK

-I dare ya. See what happens.

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'..the latest movie in the Darkest Moon franchise,

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'I was thinking we could get together for dinner.'

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No...way!

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'Anyway, Roy, I'll see you this evening.

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'Oh, and don't forget to bring a friend with you.'

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-THEY SHOUT

-That's it!

-Roy!

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Yes! This is amazing!

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I can't believe I won!

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-I never win anything!

-HE LAUGHS

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Thank you, jellybeans.

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I love you even more than I did before.

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Hahaha! I'm a deadly poet!

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So, Roy...any idea who you're bringing to dinner?

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Er, well, I'm his best friend...

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No, you're not!

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Me and Roy are like blood brothers. Aren't we, Roy?

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Aren't we, Roy?

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-THEY SHOUT

-Roy bring me!

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-Roy, you're bringing me!

-STRETCHING

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EVERYONE!

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Calm down.

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Now, look what you're all doing to that poor young fella!

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You all right, pal?

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Why are you being so nice to him?

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Yeah. You're up to something.

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Yeah, he just wants to go to dinner with Zach Morgan!

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Tara, that's really not my decision to make. Is it, Roy?

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Dream on, Deco. There's no way he's bringing you.

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Well, Niall, I'm happy enough to give Roy the space and time

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he needs to make his mind up.

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And if the rest of you are really his friends,

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I'm sure yous will do the same. Now, everyone agree.

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I said everyone agree!

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-ALL:

-Yes.

-DECO SNIGGERS

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Off you go, Roy.

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I'll make sure no-one bothers you again.

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Er...thanks, Deco.

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Nice try, Deco. But Zach said bring a friend.

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And that certainly isn't you.

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Oh, we'll see, Sophie. Oh, we'll see.

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Do you believe in destiny?

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Well, mine is to meet Zach Morgan and have him cast me

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as his little sister in the Darkest Moon movies.

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After all, Hollywood is where I belong.

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Do you realise how much this fake vampire's autograph

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sells for online?

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-I could make a fortune off this!

-HE SNIGGERS

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It has to be me.

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I'm the biggest Zach Morgan fan in the whole of Sandyford.

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I'm not messing.

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Maybe even the whole world!

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The whole universe!

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SNAPPING

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Oh.

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Erm...

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Does anyone have a spare penc...?

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Ah! What are you all doing out of your seats?!

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Roy needs a new pencil, Sir.

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What 17 of them?

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Er...thanks everyone.

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Who you going to choose, Roy? Erm...I mean,

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which pencil do you like best?

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I...

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I can't decide, erm...

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Excuse me, excuse me.

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Here ya go, Roy.

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Ah, good work, O'Leary.

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Right, the rest of you, back to your seats. Come on!

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MR HAMMOND SIGHS

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You think you're so clever, don't you?

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I don't think, Abby. I know.

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Look, Deco. Me and Roy are best friends

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and he knows how much I love Darkest Moon.

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Picking me is the right thing to do

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and that's why I'm going to dinner with Zach Morgan.

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Roy's going to dinner with Zach Morgan?

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-Yep! plus-one.

-Which is going to be me.

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-No, you mean me.

-Or me!

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What? It could happen.

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-DECO TUTS BOTH:

-We'll see.

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Zach Morgan. You're in Sandyford!

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And I know just how to stay on Roy's good side!

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-SHOUTING

-Agh, this is mental!

-Yeah, Roy.

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Now know how it feels to be Zach Morgan for a day.

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Back off everyone, back everyone! We'll let you know what he decides.

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-Thanks, Tara.

-Don't mention it.

-DOOR STRAINS

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I'm sure you'll find a way to express your gratitude.

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Hey! Stop bribing him!

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Give it a rest, you two! It's not safe here.

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But you're me mates. I can count on yous.

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-Can't I?

-Not today, Roy. None of us can be trusted.

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Run! Run, while you still have the chance!

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SHOUTING

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Roy! Pick me, Roy!

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Ever wished you were the most popular kid in school?

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Trust me, it's overrated.

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I am so proud of Roy.

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Yes, Jellybeans. O'Brien can be quite artistic

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when the subject matter is food!

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-Excuse me, Miss, you haven't seen Roy, have you?

-No, sorry, Abby.

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Personally, I don't see what all the fuss is about.

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Neither do I.

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-Anyone seen Roy?

-Ugh! Follow Abby. She's on his trail, as well.

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Aw, poor Roy. This must be an impossible decision to make.

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You know, maybe we could help him?

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You're the one that got him into this mess,

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-why don't you go to dinner with him?

-SHE GASPS

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Actually, erm, Mr Hammond, I saw the Zach Morgan video message

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and he clearly states that Roy must bring a friend, so...

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Oh! Well, hello!

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I'd consider myself to be a friend with all the children.

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You'd have no interest in going on a dinner date

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with Zach Morgan, would you?

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I actually really admire what he's done

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to millions of childrens' lives.

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Like what? Being a vampire with a trendy haircut?

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Er! Excuse me?

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Every single child on that schoolyard

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has read at least one of his books.

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And you know what they say, "If a child reads one book..."

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Yeah, but he doesn't write those books, he's just on the cover.

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True. And how cute is he on those covers?

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Where's O'Brien?

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Follow Sophie.

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Ah! Dear, oh, dear.

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-Vultures!

-HE TUTS

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CHILDREN PLAY

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Have you seen Roy anywhere?

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No, we didn't either. No.

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So good luck with that, OK?

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-Tell me if you see him.

-Oh, yeah! Will do.

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Ha!

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Hey, O'Brien?

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I mean...

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Roy?

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Go away! I'm not here.

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I prepared a little something.

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HE MUTTERS

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"I, Declan O'Leary, do hereby propose the following

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"in return for an INVITE to dinner with Zach Morgan."

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Yeah. So...

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"I promise to...

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"One - never make fun of Roy O'Brien again.

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"To his face.

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"Two - never make fun of Roy O'Brien behind his back.

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"And three - never do anything to make Roy O'Brien cry again."

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Seriously?

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Does having dinner with Zach Morgan really mean this much to you?

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That poser?

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No way. I'm only in this for...

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the money.

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So...do we have a deal?

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-Mm...

-Ssh. Don't let me rush ya.

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You take all the time you need.

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You have one hour.

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This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

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And I'm sure you're going to make the right decision.

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Ha!

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Hey, Roy.

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Oh. Hey, Tara. I didn't see you there.

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Did I ever tell you about my family's holiday home in Spain?

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Er, no.

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Well, it's really lovely there. We have a pool and everything.

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Yeah?

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And my parents are always happy for me to invite a FRIEND

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to come and stay with us.

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Tara.

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Sophie.

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Ever been to a Hollywood movie premiere, Roy?

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Er, no.

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Well, if you introduce me to Zach Morgan,

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I'll make sure you go to hundreds of them.

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Yeah, right.

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Roy! I'm glad I caught you.

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Now, we need to discuss the criteria for who you can and can't bring

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-as your plus-one!

-Oh, stop!

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All of yous!

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Why can't you just leave me alone?

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He's still picking me.

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No, he's not.

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MR LUCEY SIGHS

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Anyone but Miss Jervis.

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Abby? No.

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Sean? No.

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Tara? No.

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Sophie? Erm...

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-Roy?

-Deco?

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-Erm...

-Roy?

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Roy, snap out of it!

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-I

-wish I'd never won this stupid prize!

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Are you kidding?

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No! Everywhere I turn, someone's smiling at me,

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offering me bribes, begging to be picked.

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Deco even offered me a contract.

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Wow! He really wants to win.

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What am I supposed to do?

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No matter who I choose, everyone else is going to hate me.

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Trust me, Roy. I'm going to make this problem go away.

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That smells delicious.

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Miss Jervis, didn't see you there.

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Tell me, Carol, what's on the menu today?

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-Oh, you know...just the usual.

-You're far too modest.

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This all looks sublime. The recipe?

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For starters, melted cheese over a bacon salad.

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Oh! But just hold the salad.

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For mains, we've got sausage lasagne,

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with 12 different types of sausage. Nice.

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And then, for dessert, we have

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jellybean-packed chocolate fudge sundae.

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Oh, but the worst of it?

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Ha! Chips!

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Chips! A cardinal sin, in Carol's eyes.

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I mean, what on earth has gotten into everyone today?

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Derek?

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-Hm?

-I mean, should we intervene and end all this Zach Morgan madness?

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Leave it to me, Miss Jervis.

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I'll take care of everything.

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HE PANTS AND SNORTS

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Oh! I didn't see you there.

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My mother always said it was a crime to let good food go to waste.

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-And er...

-CLATTERING

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..believe me, that was good food.

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ALARM BLARES

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ANGELIC MUSIC

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Roy, I know this is a really difficult decision to make.

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And I know you can only pick one person.

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So if it isn't me, I'll understand.

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And I hope you have a great time with Zach Morgan.

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-Honestly?

-Cross my heart.

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But, if it is me...

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..A, I'll love you forever

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and B, you'll never have to buy jellybeans

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for the rest of your life.

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Haha.

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Afternoon, Mr Hammond.

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What do you think you're doing?

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Oh, just looking for something in the Lost and Found box.

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Well, Carol...

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this isn't it!

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-Isn't it?

-No, Carol.

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This is my confiscation box.

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It contains all the toys, sweets and video games

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taken from the children throughout the year.

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-Really?

-Yes, Carol.

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And 90% of these items belong to one Roy O'Brien.

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And I don't suppose, for a second,

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you were thinking of returning them to him in exchange for...

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Ooh! Let me see...erm...

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a dinner invitation?

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I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Mr Hammond.

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I was looking for my egg whisk.

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Oh, come off it, Carol!

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You were hoping to bribe O'Brien. Just like the other vultures.

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Name your price.

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Excuse me?

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There's plenty more chips and gravy where that came from.

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-How much more?

-All you can eat.

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Well, I'm sure we can come to some sort of arrangement.

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HE LAUGHS AND SNORTS

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Yes! I did it! I did it!

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He picked me! He picked me!

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Guess who's going to dinner with Zach Morgan?

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I am!

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-FADING:

-Wow! He picked me!

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-BOTH:

-NOOO!

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-BOTH:

-Hey, guess what? I did it!

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I chose Deco!

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You chose Deco?

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I chose Abby!

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-BOTH:

-NOOO!

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I don't know, Sir.

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It must have been that sausage lasagne I had for lunch.

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Maybe I should lie down for a few minutes...

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No, no. You just wait there.

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I'll call your parents and get them to come and collect you.

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Thanks, Sir.

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This is dinner with Zach Morgan we're talking about.

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It's going to take hours to find the perfect outfit.

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Then there's my hair, my make-up, my nails...

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What other choice do I have?

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-Abby?

-Oh, er...yes, Sir?

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Would you like your mother or your father to collect you?

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-My mother, please.

-OK.

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Hold on a second!

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This isn't Roy O'Brien's signature.

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Niall signed it for him.

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And you expect that to stand up in a court of law, do you?

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Well, we can just get Roy in here now. He'll sign it, too.

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All right, O'Leary.

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Let's talk terms.

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You give up your plus-one to Carol and I'll see to it

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that you have a very easy life here in Sandyford Progressive Learning.

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How does...

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double chips and gravy for lunch, every day, sound? Hm?

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No deal.

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MR HAMMOND SIGHS

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Can I go now, Sir?

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One last thing!

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Give this to Mr Morgan over dinner, will you?

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"The Adventures of Professor H in the Galactic Space Academy."

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Yes, it's just a little movie idea I've been working on for...

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for the last 17 years.

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You must be having a joke!

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Wait! O'Leary!

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I need you to get an autograph for me.

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Thanks for nothing, Roy. How could you choose Deco over me?

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I...

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Well, don't worry.

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When I win my first Oscar, I'll be sure to say

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I did it without the help of Roy O'Brien or Zach Morgan.

0:16:500:16:53

ROY SIGHS

0:16:560:16:57

This is all your fault!

0:16:570:16:59

Me? You were the one that couldn't make your mind up!

0:16:590:17:01

I did make me mind up. I chose Abby!

0:17:010:17:03

Ssh! Stop panicking! I can fix it.

0:17:030:17:06

-How?

-The contract.

0:17:060:17:08

We just need to get Deco to break one of the agreements.

0:17:080:17:11

But isn't that a bit...

0:17:110:17:12

What?

0:17:120:17:14

..mean?

0:17:140:17:15

Yeah. But do you have a better idea?

0:17:150:17:17

OK, so what's the plan?

0:17:180:17:20

Cartoon accident. That'd make you look stupid.

0:17:200:17:23

Right, no problem.

0:17:230:17:26

Erm...

0:17:260:17:28

HE GASPS

0:17:280:17:30

Perfect!

0:17:300:17:31

HE HUMS

0:17:320:17:36

Wah!

0:17:360:17:38

Hey! Who turned off the lights?

0:17:380:17:40

Ow!

0:17:400:17:41

Whoa!

0:17:410:17:43

Agh!

0:17:430:17:44

-CHILDREN LAUGH

-Whoa!

0:17:440:17:47

What are you all laughing at?

0:17:470:17:49

Are you all right, Roy?

0:17:530:17:55

-ROY STRUGGLES

-Let me help you.

0:17:550:17:58

STRETCHING

0:17:580:17:59

-Oof!

-Oof!

0:18:010:18:02

Thanks, Deco.

0:18:030:18:05

No bother, Roy.

0:18:050:18:07

Any time, pal.

0:18:070:18:08

This isn't going to work, Niall.

0:18:180:18:21

Don't worry, Roy. Trust me.

0:18:210:18:22

Just wait a while, till I get in position.

0:18:220:18:25

-All right, lads?

-What do you want?

0:18:300:18:32

Nothing.

0:18:320:18:34

Just...hanging out.

0:18:340:18:36

COUGHING

0:18:460:18:48

Roy?

0:18:480:18:49

In here, Sir.

0:18:490:18:50

What an idiot.

0:18:540:18:55

I mean, I know he's my friend and all.

0:18:550:18:57

But you have to admit, Roy O'Brien is a real clown.

0:18:570:18:59

-Yeah!

-Don't you think, Deco?

0:18:590:19:02

No!

0:19:020:19:03

Now, come on, you. Let's help him.

0:19:030:19:06

Hold on, Roy!

0:19:060:19:08

COUGHING

0:19:080:19:09

We're coming in to get ya!

0:19:090:19:11

Well, did it work?

0:19:140:19:16

Sorry, Roy.

0:19:160:19:18

-ROY SIGHS

-What are we going to do?

0:19:180:19:20

School's nearly over and we'll be leaving

0:19:200:19:22

to have dinner with Zach Morgan soon.

0:19:220:19:24

There's nothing else for it.

0:19:240:19:26

Time to turn on the waterworks.

0:19:260:19:28

Abby?

0:19:320:19:34

Oh, hi, Sir!

0:19:340:19:36

I thought you were gravely ill.

0:19:360:19:38

I am.

0:19:380:19:40

I mean, I was.

0:19:400:19:42

Feeling much better now. Thanks.

0:19:420:19:45

Attention, losers!

0:19:450:19:46

Listen up because it's your last chance

0:19:460:19:49

to order Zach Morgan's autograph.

0:19:490:19:53

Look, Deco, I'm not going to let you pressure poor Roy

0:19:530:19:56

into asking Zach for 1,000 autographs.

0:19:560:19:58

What are you on about?

0:19:580:20:00

I'm going to do it myself.

0:20:000:20:02

Why are you dressed up like a dog's dinner?

0:20:020:20:05

-Declan!

-But, Sir, look at her!

0:20:050:20:07

How dare you! I look 1 billion.

0:20:070:20:10

I bet Zach is going to say the same.

0:20:100:20:13

Wait. Hang on a minute.

0:20:130:20:15

You both think you're going with Roy?

0:20:150:20:17

I have a contract.

0:20:180:20:20

But I paid Rory 1,000 jellybeans.

0:20:200:20:24

-BOTH:

-Roy!

0:20:240:20:27

Hey, everyone.

0:20:270:20:29

What's she talking about?

0:20:290:20:30

Tell him, Roy! Tell him I'm your plus-one.

0:20:300:20:33

-Hey, Deco.

-What?

0:20:330:20:34

-Say something to Roy!

-I thought we had a deal!

0:20:340:20:37

My outfit! It's ruined!

0:20:480:20:50

Check it out, everyone! You're all witnesses.

0:20:500:20:53

"Clause Three - I, Declan O'Leary,

0:20:530:20:55

"will never make Roy O'Brien cry again."

0:20:550:20:57

Read it and weep, Deco. You lose!

0:20:570:21:01

What?

0:21:020:21:03

No!

0:21:030:21:06

Sweet Vale of Avoca, what's going on now?

0:21:060:21:08

Sh! It's really quite complicated.

0:21:080:21:11

The state of me!

0:21:110:21:13

I can't meet Zach looking like this.

0:21:130:21:15

We did it, Roy. We won.

0:21:150:21:17

Yeah,

0:21:170:21:19

because we cheated.

0:21:190:21:20

This is the worst day ever.

0:21:230:21:24

Onto higher ground, everybody!

0:21:310:21:33

Quick!

0:21:330:21:34

Roy, please!

0:21:380:21:40

I love Zach Morgan!

0:21:400:21:42

He's my hero!

0:21:420:21:43

And I just want to be like him when I grow up!

0:21:440:21:47

Take whoever you want, you traitor!

0:21:470:21:50

I can't meet Zach looking like this.

0:21:500:21:53

Have you considered Carol as your plus-one, Roy?

0:21:530:21:55

Yes, Roy, Carol's an excellent choice.

0:21:550:21:58

Way better than Ms Jervis.

0:21:580:22:00

EVERYONE SHOUTS

0:22:000:22:02

Roy!

0:22:040:22:05

You won! Deco broke the contract!

0:22:050:22:08

Yeah. Only because we set him up,

0:22:080:22:12

and that isn't fair,

0:22:120:22:14

so, Abby and Deco, congratulations.

0:22:140:22:18

You're both going to the dinner with Zach Morgan.

0:22:180:22:21

Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

0:22:210:22:24

Sorry. Excuse me.

0:22:240:22:26

Are you sure?

0:22:260:22:29

What about you?

0:22:290:22:32

I don't deserve to go.

0:22:320:22:33

Thanks so much, Roy.

0:22:360:22:38

You're a star.

0:22:380:22:40

See everyone tomorrow.

0:22:400:22:42

We'll tell Zach you said hi.

0:22:420:22:44

Wow. That was the most generous thing I've ever seen anyone do ever.

0:22:470:22:52

Well done, Roy. You should be proud of yourself.

0:22:520:22:56

Wait.

0:22:560:22:57

I can't believe they went without me.

0:22:570:23:00

Quick, everyone! Onto higher ground! Quick!

0:23:030:23:05

Of all the people to upset!

0:23:080:23:10

No!

0:23:120:23:14

ROY CRIES

0:23:140:23:17

What has he done now?

0:23:250:23:27

Oh, Becky, your poor brother.

0:23:270:23:30

KNOCK ON DOOR

0:23:320:23:34

Roy! Come out here! Roy!

0:23:340:23:37

'It's the following morning.

0:23:380:23:40

'Deco and Abby are happily informing

0:23:400:23:42

'their friends about the dinner with Zach Morgan.'

0:23:420:23:45

OK, Roy?

0:23:450:23:47

You don't want an autograph, no?

0:23:470:23:50

Zach Morgan this, Zach Morgan that,

0:23:500:23:52

I'm sick of hearing his name.

0:23:520:23:54

Well, you're not the only one.

0:23:540:23:57

Really?

0:23:570:23:58

Why do you not like him?

0:23:580:23:59

-Same reasons as you.

-What?

0:24:010:24:04

OK, everybody, come on.

0:24:040:24:06

Can we not talk about something other than movie vampires

0:24:060:24:08

-for a change?

-Right, litter duty in the yard!

0:24:080:24:12

Any volunteers?

0:24:120:24:13

Sir, I got that thing for you.

0:24:130:24:16

Oh, thank you, O'Leary.

0:24:160:24:19

And we got these books signed from Zach Morgan with a special message

0:24:190:24:22

inside for Miss Jervis.

0:24:220:24:24

Yeah, it was weird, though.

0:24:240:24:25

He was asking us loads of questions about her.

0:24:250:24:28

OK, get those to me. All of them.

0:24:280:24:30

No, I mean, Ms Jervis is at a seminar

0:24:330:24:36

and I'll make sure she gets them.

0:24:360:24:39

Zach Morgan signed all this memorabilia?

0:24:390:24:41

It must have taken him hours.

0:24:410:24:43

Sure it did, but he didn't mind.

0:24:430:24:46

He's a total gentleman and a complete babe.

0:24:460:24:50

Do you know what, Abby?

0:24:500:24:52

I reckon, if I live to be 100 years old,

0:24:520:24:55

-last night was the best moment of my life.

-Absolutely.

0:24:550:24:58

Enough!

0:24:580:25:00

Would you stop talking about stupid Zach Morgan?

0:25:000:25:03

If anyone needs me, I'll be in the yard.

0:25:050:25:07

-Morning, Carol.

-Morning, Mr Hammond.

0:25:150:25:18

-What's on the menu today?

-Who cares?

0:25:180:25:22

-Oh, guess what I confiscated from O'Leary this morning.

-Huh?

0:25:220:25:26

You want me to open it?

0:25:300:25:31

It's addressed to you.

0:25:310:25:33

And I'll be expecting chips and gravy come lunchtime.

0:25:330:25:37

"To Carol, Queen of the Canteen,

0:25:410:25:45

"love Zach." Oh!

0:25:450:25:48

Hello, Roy.

0:25:550:25:57

Zach Morgan!

0:25:590:26:01

So, you're the one who stood me up?

0:26:010:26:04

Got to tell you, Roy, that has never happened to me before.

0:26:040:26:09

Yeah, sorry about that.

0:26:090:26:12

Don't be.

0:26:120:26:13

Abby and Deco told me what you did for them.

0:26:130:26:16

You should be very proud of yourself, Roy.

0:26:160:26:18

Hey, let's face it.

0:26:180:26:20

It's not like you gave up a trip to the seaside.

0:26:200:26:22

I mean, dinner with Zach Morgan?

0:26:220:26:24

It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

0:26:240:26:27

Or, in your case, twice-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

0:26:300:26:33

You still fancy that milkshake?

0:26:330:26:36

Absolutely.

0:26:360:26:37

Sir!

0:26:440:26:46

Roy and Zach Morgan are walking out of the yard together.

0:26:460:26:49

Yes, yes, very funny, Sophie.

0:26:500:26:54

I'm not messing. Sir, look!

0:26:540:26:57

This takes me back, Roy.

0:27:000:27:02

You know, before I was handsome and famous,

0:27:020:27:04

I went to a school a lot like this.

0:27:040:27:06

Yeah?

0:27:060:27:08

Is your principal still here? What was her name? Miss Jervis?

0:27:080:27:12

Oh, you missed her.

0:27:120:27:16

I see.

0:27:160:27:17

Uh-oh! Welcome to my world.

0:27:180:27:21

-What we do, Zach?

-Run!

0:27:210:27:23

EVERYBODY SQUABBLES

0:27:290:27:31

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