Gone Gaga Sidekick


Gone Gaga

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to sidekick school

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing stuff and looking super cool

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# I'm a Sidekick! Sidekick! That's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick! Sidekick! What an awesome gig

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# Just like superheroes Just like superheroes

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# But only half as big Sidekick! #

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So, you've cleaned and pressed your hero suit. Vot next?

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Tea? Strudel?

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Mmmm.

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Nein!

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You must distract ze villain while ze hero makes a plan!

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Behold.

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Perfection!

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Troublemeyer, distract!

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Amaze us with your mediocrity.

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Avec play-zure, mon-sewer.

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METALLIC ROAR

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Hey, old robot thing, prepare to be dazzled.

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Pick a card, any...

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OW! AAAHH!

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SMASH! CHICKENS CLUCK

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Ja, about as good as expected.

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Vana?

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Yaah!

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ROMANTIC MUSIC

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SINGING

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Ahhhh...AH! Huh!

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Yyaaa! Aahhh!

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HE SIGHS She's such a heartbreaker.

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My turn!

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Fire in the hall!

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Vana, that was so awesome and cool and pretty

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and the world is so much better with you in it!

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-Erm, right.

-FIREWORKS CRACKLE AND BANG

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"For outdoor use only."

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Next!

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Mr Needles!

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OK, major distraction.

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Something big.

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BING! Vana, watch this!

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# Da, da-da, da Ba-di, doo-pi, doo-pi, da... #

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Argh!

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HE GULPS THWACK!

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Argh!

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Oof!

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You know, no matter what I do - compliment Vana, adore her...

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Get beaten by robot dummies for her?

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..I can't get her to notice me!

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Maybe a gadget will help.

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How about this Robo-Peeler?

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I want her to like me, not peel me.

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What's in there?

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That's the Confiscated From Supervillains Trophy Room.

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I'm not supposed to go in there.

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WHIRRING

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They shouldn't have left the door so close to the potato peeler.

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Ah!

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Wha-ho!

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Yeah-hey!

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Lookit!

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Yes!

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Ow...yeah.

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Ah-hem. If I show you a gadget for making Vana liking you,

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will you stop the touching of things?

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CRASH! Yes. Yes, we will.

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Those are Gaga Goggles.

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Maxum Man confiscated them from a super villain years ago.

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Place them on, concentrate on your target

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and they will instantly adore you.

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Feel anything?

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I think I like you less.

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Brain, they're not working!

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Well, the Gaga Goggles send a signal

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to the hyper smarticus part of the brain.

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I don't know why they are not working on him.

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Glaaargh...nugaah...burlarble.

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Hello.

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Hel-lo.

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Oh, look. It's Dance Boy.

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So, do you like my new glasses?

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They look ridiculaaaa...

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Your posture is so straight.

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Have you been working on your spine?

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Wait, what? A compliment?

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To Eric?

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MY Eric?

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Hungry?

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Wha-ho!

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My lunch is your lunch.

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But...she never shares food!

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She can't even say share!

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It comes out "Shaaa..."

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# La-la-la-la-la... #

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Come on. Flowers?

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What's going on?!

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This "Making Vana like me" thing

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isn't working out so well.

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-How can you tell?

-What are you talking about?

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Is it about someone who adores you and plans to be with you for ever?

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Or about how someone who never showed any interest before

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should get OUT of the way of a girl who liked you for more than a day?

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OK, time to consult the man with the answers.

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And I don't mean you.

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Phew. Cos I got nothing.

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BEEPING

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Welcome to Maxum On Maxum, Chapter 17

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Getting Rid Of Fawning Fans.

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Maxum Man! It's really you!

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Erm, I think.

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Step one, I call, Ignorance Is Really Just Ignoring Stuff.

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-GURGLING

-Hey, Maxum Man! I'm right down here!

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Oh, I guess he didn't see me.

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Step two. Nothing says go away like a snooty assistant.

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Maxum Man is booked pretty solid.

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What was your name again?

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Aww. I don't see it on the list.

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But, I-I didn't give it yet!

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And he's right there! Not doing anything!

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Oh! Oy!

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Hey, we should be friends! We like ALL the same stuff.

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Fighting crime... being super cool...

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foreign cheeses.

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Step three. Crush their spirit!

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Sorry, fan. If I hang out with one of you,

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I have to hang out with all of you.

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Then when would I have time to save the world, hmm?

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-Ah!

-Hey, Eric! I cut your lunch up into pieces

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and pre-chewed them for you.

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OK, Maxum plan, step one. Ignore.

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CRASH

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Can I feed you now? Please?

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Ignore failed. Step two, Trevor, intercept!

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Interceptoring.

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Sorry, Eric is a little busy right now.

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He...is...uh...

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..yodelling.

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I tried, man.

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She's unbreakable!

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Uh, step three.

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The spirit cracking.

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Vana, I can't hang out because...

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HARP MUSIC

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..suddenly...conflicted!

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Lost in your beautiful eyes, and...

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CRUNCH Ow!

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Bit my tongue.

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Oh, no! I'll get the school nurse!

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And the paramedics!

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And the police! We have an emergency here, people!

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So? You de-Vana-ed yet?

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No! I'm stuck with her for ever!

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The glasses are too powerful!

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I wish there was a way,

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ANY way I could get rid of these Gaga Goggles!

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Why don't you just take them off?

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That could work.

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Ergggh! Arrgh!

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Ha-ha! Playing hard to take off, huh?

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Well, I'll see about that!

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Guh! These eye-peepers are on good!

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CRACK Yargh!

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Let's try peanut butter. Works on gum in the hair.

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MMMM... Arrgh!

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Not gum! Stop!

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Hmm. Not working.

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Wish I had Crunchy. What else do I have?

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Eggs...

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tuna sandwich...

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cookies...

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Argh! THUD

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Would you STOP it!

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Forgot the milk.

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FIZZLING Uh-oh.

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You owe me a lunch, dude.

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We'll get the goggles off later. THEY GASP

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Let's just get back to class, and...

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-ALL:

-Oooooh...

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Herr Needles! So great to see you!

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Sit in my chair. Urrgh!

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Almost got it.

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-Argh!

-SMASH, COW MOOS

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OK...

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I think something might be a little off here, and... Ew!

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Maybe it's all the peanut butter in your hair.

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Always a crowd pleaser.

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HARP MUSIC, THEY SIGH

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The goggles! They're malfunctioning! Great. Now everyone loves me.

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Wow. Super-ego much?

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Love...Eric...

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Let's marry him.

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GROANING

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Argh!

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Stay away from Eric, he's MINE!

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I don't know which is scarier - Vana,

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-or them!

-Argh!

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-Hello.

-BOTH: Vana.

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I'm not going to let them get you, Eric!

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Hold on, guys!

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BOTH: Whoooa!

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Stealing MY Eric!

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I don't think so.

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Aaargh!

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OK, what's going on here? I don't mean to sound rude,

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but why does everyone like you all of a sudden?

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What? Maybe people finally see the real me?

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All right, it's the glasses.

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Started with Vana, but now everybody adores me...

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-GLASS SMASHES

-Aargh!

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What? Can't a girl smash through a skylight to hang out with Eric?

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She has a point. I go through so many skylights that way.

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Vana, you don't love Eric! It's his goggles that are making you gaga!

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You just want him all to yourself

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and now you can't stand that I'm going to take him away from you.

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You? Take him away from ME?

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Let's see you try!

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Yaah!

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Argh!

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Ha-ha, ha-ha!

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Yaah!

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SHE GROWLS

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Couch fight!

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Awesome!

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Still pretty awesome!

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OK, getting less awesome!

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-Hiya!

-THWACK!

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Argh! Aah-ha-ha... Oof!

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These goggles NEED to come off, now!

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-BOTH:

-Aaargh...yah!

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HE GASPS That's it! It's the only way...

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and it's going to hurt.

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Aaargh...

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Yaaaah!

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Gaga Goggles?! I can't believe you used those on me!

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Needles, you are toast!

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Seriously? Forcing people to like you?

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Get enlightened, man!

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But it was your idea!

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Let's not play the blame game here.

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I'll never forgive you for this!

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You will rue the day!

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Rue it!

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-SHE GIGGLES

-Yay.

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Come on, Kitty.

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I think I need a shower.

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I still like you. Heh-heh.

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HE SIGHS

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