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Henchman for a Day

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# We are Splitsboro kids and we go to Sidekick School

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# Learning to be second best while playing by the rules

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# Maxum Man is missing

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# Now we rule the school

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# Flying, smashing, bashing, stomping, looking super cool

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# I'm a sidekick, sidekick - that's the life for me

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# Half-sized super zeros with full-sized super dreams

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# Sidekick, sidekick What an awesome gig!

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-# Just like superheroes

-# Just like superzeros

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-# But only half as big

-# Sidekick! #

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Evil.

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It's dark, it's powerful...

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and it's time for you to experience it first-hand,

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with the Sidekick-Henchman student exchange programme.

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You'll have a blast!

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-Ahh! Oh!

-ZAP

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MAXUM MAN AND XOX LAUGH

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Sign up for the student exchange programme now!

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GLASS SHATTERS

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SIDEKICK SCREAMS

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Oh!

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MAXUM MAN CHUCKLES

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So, who vill be zis year's lucky exchange student?

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-Uh-uh.

-KITTY GASPS

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I'll do it! I'll go! I will go right now!

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Ha-ha-ha! Pick me! Pick me, pick me!

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Well, I was going to pick Herr Needles,

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but since he's not here today...

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ERIC GULPS

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I pick you!

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Gah! No!

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Oh, ze fun you'll have! Ze things you'll see!

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Ze pain you will endure.

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TUBE VACUUMS SIDEKICK WAILS

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TUBE BELCHES

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Well, there's no turning back now.

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Nice! My disguise worked!

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Needles, you're here!

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You can go, after all.

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PAMPLEMOOSE CACKLES

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But you said there was no turning back!

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-No turning baaaa...

-TUBE VACUUMS

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TUBE BELCHES

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..aaack... Ugh!

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ERIC GASPS HENCHMEN GROWL

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Of course Pamplemoose would send you.

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MASTER XOX GROANS

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Well, students, let's welcome our exchange student from the...

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Ptoo, ptooah!

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..Sidekick Academy,

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Eric Needles.

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HENCHMAN SNIFFS

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You not midge.

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No, he's not Midge.

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She's at the... Ptooey!

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..Sidekick Academy, for her exchange day.

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But he's not just any Sidekick -

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he's Maxum Man's sidekick,

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aren't you, Eric?

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Maxum Man? Never heard of him.

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Never even met him.

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That last part's actually true.

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HENCHMEN ROAR

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OK, a little personal space, here?

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-Leave him alone!

-Huh?

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Or do I have to put my foot down?

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Mandy?

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Mandy, I forgot you were a student here.

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See, she knows me and likes me.

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Right?

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Just don't look anyone in the eyes...or the feet.

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Actually, you should just look at your own feet

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and think happy thoughts until this is over.

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OK.

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Students, this is Midge, a henchgirl.

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It says here to keep fingers and toes away from her face.

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It's not that we don't like you cos you're different -

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it's cos you're evil AND different.

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The Sidekick Academy welcomes you with open arms.

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THUNDEROUS BELCH

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Ew.

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Ooh - there's the do-gooder superhero.

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Take him down! And more importantly,

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wipe that smarmy smile from his face.

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I am generic superhero -

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henchmen beware!

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Norbert, go!

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BATTLE CRY

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Huh? NORBERT WAILS

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You have failed me.

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Ethan, destroy the superhero scum!

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BATTLE CRY

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Whoa!

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Oof!

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Oh.

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Normally, we're way better than this.

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HENCHMAN SHRIEKS

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Hurk! Whoooa...

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Ack!

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No we're not.

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Oh, come on! Is that all you've got?

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Master Xox, sir?

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Um, maybe we should all attack, uh...

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You know... Together?

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What? Not one after the other?

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Explain yourself.

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Well, that way, he'll have to fight all of us at once.

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-Right?

-Henchmen always attack one at a time.

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It in the handbook, that me no read.

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MASTER XOX HANDBOOK CACKLES

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Yeah, that's not creepy at all.

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Eric's right. Come on!

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-Hiya!

-Take that!

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-Cannot compute...

-Ya!

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Dual attack not in handbook...

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-Take that!

-Ya! Aah-ya!

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Evil wins...

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Wow! That's never happened before.

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Nice work, Eric.

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Good reflexes.

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Nice flipping.

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Not bad, Trevor.

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Your thick skull is good for something.

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You, henchman! Your turn.

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Now that was pathetic.

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And I know pathetic.

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See Needles, Eric.

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That was pathetic.

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Class, you will take five.

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Vana, help this henchman!

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VANA SIGHS

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Step one to becoming a successful sidekick...

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Make over! Unicorns!

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-What?

-What?

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What?

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You are so not better than me.

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BLART

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Now, righty, henchmen.

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What is the best way to dispatch a superhero?

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Good - prolong the suspense.

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LASER HUMS

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Ooh, excellent.

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Give him some time to contemplate his fate.

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Loving the imagination, people.

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Eric?

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Um, hit him with something hard and you know...

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Actually defeat him?

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You're going to chop off his feet?

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No - DEFEAT him.

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Hmm. He gets hit, goes down,

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no time to plan his escape.

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So simple...

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-Augh...

-..yet so brilliant!

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Presenting...

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the new Midge!

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WOLF HOWL

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UNICORN BRAYS TREVOR PANTS

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She could still use a little work on the etiquette.

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VANA GIGGLES

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MIDGE GROWLS

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Down, Midge!

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Hello, handsome!

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THUMP, CRUNCH TREVOR SHRIEKS

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I think she likes me!

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Enjoying your Lime Rickey?

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ERIC SLURPS NOISILY

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Maybe...

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I'll get right to the point.

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You impressed me out there, Eric.

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I did?

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You remind me of my younger self.

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Even your evil slurping takes me back.

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Eric, I want to take you under my wing -

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to mould you into the perfect henchman.

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You want to mould me under your wing?

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All this could be yours!

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GLASS SHATTERS

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All you have to do is come over to the not-bright side.

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You mean the dark...

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Up-bup-bup!

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My grand plan to invade the...

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Ptooey! ..Sidekick Academy

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will bring down that affront to all that is evil,

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once and for all.

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Eric, I want you to lead the invasion.

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Me? But...but...

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I'm a good guy. Aren't I?

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How can I turn against my school, my friends

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and Maxum Man?

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If they really care about you,

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they'll want you to follow your true calling.

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But how do I know being a henchman is my true calling?

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Well, were you a great sidekick?

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Hmm...

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Point taken.

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But what about all those wonderful times I had at the Sidekick Academy?

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Wait, I never had any wonderful times at the Sidekick Academy!

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It's a lot more fun here.

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You don't have to work as hard,

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and the accolades to beatings ratio is much higher.

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The invasion is on...

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ERIC CACKLES

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Hnnng...

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She touched me -

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without hitting me!

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I'm never washing again....

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Again.

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OK, another tip to becoming a successful sidekick -

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avoid Trevor.

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And never, ever touch him.

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MIDGE SNIFFS

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CRASH, GLASS SHATTERS

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What a mess!

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Eric, this is definitely going on your permanent record.

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Where I go to school now,

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breaking glass actually gets you extra credit.

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TREVOR GASPS

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He's gone over to the not-bright side!

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And now, my former friends -

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who I still really like,

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but can't associate with because I'm evil now -

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it's time to surrender!

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Eric, how could you? You were always my favourite student...

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Not really.

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And you were always my favourite pummelling bag.

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I've always loved you! There, I've said it.

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I've been keeping it hidden for so long,

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but now I feel like I could fly!

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Do I look cool in this headband, or what?

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Did you say something?

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KITTY SIGHS

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I want a ninja headband!

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Prepare to rue the day you ever pummelled,

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pitied and...or laughed at me.

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Mandy, let's bring this dump down!

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KITTY AND VANA GASP

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TREVOR WHIMPERS

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CLASS GASPS

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WHISTLE BLOWS

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Okey-dokey. The exchange programme is officially over.

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Uh...what?!

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Let's all give Midge a big goodbye.

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CHEERING

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HENCHMEN CHEER

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Au revoir, mon cheri.

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I will miss your grunts

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and the way you ate anything put in front of you.

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Look, her flower droppings!

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Too bad your plan to attack the school and wreak revenge

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on all your... What did you call them?

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Oh, yeah! Your so-called friends and assorted losers

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that stink and you can't stand

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and that are bad at sports and can't sing...

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And oh, yeah - they smell...and stink.

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Bye!

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Call me!

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And good riddance! Heh-heh.

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Wow, am I glad they're gone, heh.

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Those henchmen are the worst, aren't they?

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KITTY AND VANA GROWL

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It was a class assignment... I was rehearsing a play... I got amnesia!

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ERIC WAILS

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